The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Strategy That Works On Your Ex

6,800 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

Aisha

May 7, 2018 at 11:14 am

It’s been 14 days to my NCR. He’s gone from calling and texting on the second day of the NCR itself to not doing either anymore. Is it normal because it’s getting me worried now.

Chris Seiter

May 7, 2018 at 3:41 pm

It is. What you are trying to accomplish is to get away from the ups/downs of the communication bitterness that usually happens right after a breakup. The NC period is aimed at allowing you both to heal and then later try again from a better, more emotionally balanced place
Aisha

May 7, 2018 at 4:02 pm

Did I, even slightly, damage my chances of getting him back by starting the NCR 3 months after breaking up? For those 3 months, he would call regularly, tell me he hadn’t completely moved on etc
Chris Seiter

May 7, 2018 at 10:44 pm

I sure don’t think so. This is no hard and fast rules around some of these techniques. They all have varying degrees of success and failure for each person depending on a host of factors. Consider being upfront with him, explaining why you need some space to work on things and heal and that you look forward to touching base with him again in the future.
Aisha

May 8, 2018 at 4:08 am

But he’s not texting or calling me anymore. How do I convey that to him?
Chris Seiter

May 8, 2018 at 4:52 am

Perhaps the old fashioned way….letter.
Aisha

May 8, 2018 at 5:12 am

“Hey!
I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t mean to ignore you all this while. I just need time to move on. I tried being friends after the break up but when we met, I realised you had moved on, maybe completely, and I hadn’t.
You were a great friend to me and I don’t want that to end but right now, I need my space.
I’ll text you eventually and we can talk and be cool again.”

That’s what I wrote to him. Is that alright?
Chris Seiter

May 8, 2018 at 3:02 pm

That is a very good message, Aisha. Well said. It is friendly and conveys your true intentions and keeps the door open.
Aisha

May 8, 2018 at 4:03 pm

“Hey!! Yeah sure. Whatever you need. Take care”
This was his reply. Is that a positive reply?
Chris Seiter

May 8, 2018 at 4:45 pm

Yes. quite positive as it reflects he understands and is open to what you said.
Aisha

May 9, 2018 at 10:48 am

I saw his reply and didn’t text him back. Today morning I woke up to two calls by him fromn2:30 in the night. That’s a positive sign, right? And should I continue ignoring or ask why he called?
Chris Seiter

May 10, 2018 at 1:49 am

Did he call at 2:30 am in the morning?? Could he have been drunk calling that early? Certainly, his calling, drunk or not, clearly points to him missing you
Aisha

May 10, 2018 at 2:03 am

Sorry, I meant 2:30 in the morning. I was happy to see he called but then he texted saying that his friend called me from his phone and that too by mistake. I find that hard to believe but if it is true, it’s sad :/
Chris Seiter

May 10, 2018 at 2:05 am

Yeah….he is likely tell a little fib!

Ellen

May 3, 2018 at 9:01 pm

Been on your website for days! It’s helping I’m 3 day no contact, hard when we were together 6 years. Have deleted all means of contact. He doesn’t know what he wants and ask me to leave him alone. It’s been twos months and we been contacting everyday or leaving a week and me contacting. I think he expect me to blow up in a weeks and contact him, but I’m not!! I doubt he contact me, as he’s so arrogant and stubborn. He didn’t even speak to his own mum for 3 months as she really upset him.

Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 9:21 pm

I am glad you are getting so much out of the website. IF you need some ongoing support, take a look at my Private Facebook Support Group Community (about 1500 members). Lots of synergy and help and support there!
Ellen

May 4, 2018 at 8:12 am

I will do, do you think he contact me?
Chris Seiter

May 4, 2018 at 3:47 pm

Odds are in your favor in my view.

Aisha

May 2, 2018 at 4:51 pm

Its my 10th day into the NCR. It started with him calling me, sending me a message and a snap on snapchat on the second day itself. However, because I haven’t responded to either of those and yet continued to remain active on social media, he has gone from liking my pictures and comments on Instagram to not liking them at all. Its a small silly thing but it worries me. Should I be worried or is it normal?

Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 12:21 am

Hi Aisha….Forgive me if I asked you this before, but are utilizing my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro to guide your planned efforts? It provides you with an extensive template (at my website Menu/Products link). I suspect he is having a little fussy period because he expect you will just come running at his every message. I wouldn’t worry about it…all normal.
Aisha

May 3, 2018 at 11:38 am

Thank you for replying :’) No, I haven’t yet purchased your Pro package because I’m a student right now and don’t have the means of paying without my parents finding out. So, I’m just using whats on the website and your reply to my comments as a guide. As long as you feel its normal, I won’t worry about it. Thank you
Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 2:05 pm

Best of luck to you Aisha!

Serene

April 30, 2018 at 3:28 pm

Hi Chris a quick update. I went on 25 day no contact after ex dumped me.
I reached out to him after becos throughout the 25 days of no contact he religiously viewed every snapchat stories i posted & he was quick & responsive to my msgs when I reacjed out, but he doesnt initiate much. A family accident leading to 3 deaths occurred last week & when i told him about it he was empathethic & nice BUT things didnt feel the same anymore. I told him
I still had feelings for him but he said its in the past. We didnt work out before & need to go separate ways. Despite getting my heart shattered, i told him i respect his decision & thank him for loving me. I thought that would be the last time we’ll contact each other. Oddly today he sent me a snapchat post, i didnt open it but its odd why would he do that? We have been on an LDR with no mutual friends or anything external binding us. He didnt explicitly asked to continue staying friends. There isnt a need to stay friends if things didnt work out anyway…
Why is he so weird? He dumped me
& made the conscious decision to go separate ways even after cooling off for 25 days so why the need for all these ‘small acts’?
Nat

April 29, 2018 at 11:29 pm

Hey there… I’m 18 days into NC and was planning on completing 21 days (I broke it off with him, this is the first time in 4 years he hasn’t seen me for this amount of time). If I haven’t heard from him should I extend to 30 days?

Chris Seiter

April 30, 2018 at 3:02 pm

Hi Nat. You have picked up my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, right? (found at my Website Menu/click on Products link) If not, then go get my girl because it is loaded with advice on all matters around breakups! Its kinda like your Companion Guide, not matter which direction things go. Given the length of time the two of you have been together, I would stick with around 21 days. Then as I discuss in my books and elsewhere, send him an initial contact message. An ex doesn’t always reach out during the NC period. Sometimes you have to ignite things, dropping him little breadcrumbs. leading him to you. Let me know how it goes Nat!

Aisha

April 29, 2018 at 2:51 am

Hey! It’s my fifth day into the no contact rule and he’s already tried to contact me. He’s called me once, sent me one snap on Snapchat and one text message. I’ve ignored all and now he’s not trying to contact me anymore. Is it normal for this to happen or should I be worried because of the reduced effort?

Chris Seiter

April 29, 2018 at 4:47 am

Yes, Aisha..this is very normal. If you are worried you are sending him a really negative vibe, just acknowledge you got his text message, but are trying to rebuild some things in your life for the foreseeable future and therefor will be looking for some space. Just keep it vague and then return to NC. If you get a series of positive contacts from him in the near future, then as described in my ebook, The No Contact Rule Book, you can end the NC period and start in with the initial contact message phase.
Aisha

April 29, 2018 at 6:32 am

Since it’s just been 5 days of the NCR, I don’t think I’m ready to text him just as yet. It won’t seriously damage the equation, right?
Chris Seiter

April 29, 2018 at 9:00 pm

Highly unlikely to cause a problem.

Aisha

April 24, 2018 at 10:00 am

I’m a student and I can’t buy your pro package as of yet so I’m just using your website here for help.
I’ve just started the no contact rule a few days ago with my ex who studies in a different city but is in the same city as mine during his vacations. He’s going to be here in a few days for his vacations for a month and a half and that’s the only time I’ll probably be able to meet him because he’ll leave after that. But that means breaking the NCR. Should I continue with the rule even if it means not having the time to meet him later for a long time?

Chris Seiter

April 24, 2018 at 3:08 pm

Hi Aisha…you will find lots of great advice here on the site. Practically speaking, I think it would be OK to touch base when he arrives in your area given your situation. NCR can be adapted to fit lots of situations.
Aisha

April 25, 2018 at 12:58 pm

Thank you so much for replying :’) It means a lot!
I just wanted to explain my situation to you in this sightly longish reply to know whether or not you think he’s likely to come back and what odds I have.
We’ve known each other for 8 years now because our parents know each other but we were never very close. We got really close in October 2017 and started dating the same time. Our relationship was amazing, the best the two of us have ever had and we both accept that even today. But because we both stay in different cities and he’s only here during his vacations, I guess his feelings for me reduced over time. When I sensed something wrong, I broke up with him in February 2018 and he didn’t stop me. He accepted the feelings weren’t the same but I still had feelings for him. Even after the break up, he kept telling me he hadn’t completely moved on. After that, we continued to talk and were close. We eventually started having phone sex and decided that we wanted to continue the physical aspect of our relationship. We would have great conversations where we would talk about going on dates when he returns and all. The good conversations were off and on. Sometimes he would talk like he wanted me and missed me while other times he just wouldn’t. But now, just a week ago, I went to his school for a competition and we met. I felt a change in the way he was talking and so, asked him whether or not he still wanted to continue the ‘lets have sex with each other’ thing to which he said he didn’t. I left the conversation angry and have now started the NCR. He has sent me a snap on snapchat since then which I’ve ignored. He has also been liking my pictures. What chances do you think I have and what should I do next?
Thanks
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 12:01 am

Hi Aisha…odds are better than average for multiple reasons (8 years, his continued interest in touching base with you, etc). If you are using my ebook (I forget!), just follow the suggested steps to optimize your chances and read everything in all those Chapters!
Aisha

April 26, 2018 at 1:50 am

Like I mentioned above, I’m a student and I can’t really buy your pro package right now. So the website and your replies are all I have 🙁
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 2:39 am

Thanks for the reminder Aisha! Just dig into the site as you will find a lot of value here.
Aisha

April 26, 2018 at 7:16 am

Is it okay if he started dating this other girl after we broke up? He called me one particular night talking about how he regrets dating her and how he doesn’t even feel for her half as much as he did for me and wants me, not her and will break up with her. When I asked him what he meant by ‘wants me’, he still didn’t stay he wants to date me. He did break up with her but we kept doing the on and off positive conversation thing. Is this a positive sign or a negative one?
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 2:59 pm

Rebound dating is not unusual and not necessarily a bad thing. It can help the person realize your value.
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2018 at 3:08 pm

Hi Aisha…you will find lots of great advice here on the site. Practically speaking, I think it would be OK to touch base when he arrives in your area given your situation. NCR can be adapted to fit lots of situations.

Renee

April 20, 2018 at 8:34 pm

I broke no contact, a little. I ran into him at a bar and briefly spoke to him and his friend. It might have been 10 words total and it was about a giveaway at another bar. I’m 21 days in. No texting. I usually just ignore him if I see him out but I had to walk right past him and he and his friend were both looking right at me. Do I have to start over? What do I do?

Chris Seiter

April 20, 2018 at 8:42 pm

Hi Renee….Oh no..you need not start over. Consider the encounter a positive as it leaves a little breadcrumb for him to follow.

Serene

April 20, 2018 at 2:12 pm

RCMA powder

Hi Chris! I broke no contact at Day 25… eversinced he dumped me he has been viewing every single one of my snapchat stories… I reached out with a light hearted message,he responded immediately & after exchanging afew messages, he went silent again. I didnt bring up the breakup.
I didnt chase text nor tried to chat further.
It has been 24hrs & although he continue viewing my snap stories, he didnt text me… what should I do?

Chris Seiter

April 20, 2018 at 3:32 pm

Hi Serene…pretty name. Well, first off, make sure you have my Companion Guide by your side (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro ebook) as it can be really helpful in all aspects of this recovery process (website Menu/Products). Clearly, his interest in your Snapchat stories is very positive and you can leverage that to create some attraction. I think of it as dropping him some breadcrumbs to follow you to where you want to take him. Perhaps telling an episodic story in the form of multiple parts about yourself he doesn’t know. Maybe you can embellish just a tiny bit! But the idea is to keep drawing him back to read each new little episode or revelation. It can be fun, create interest, and show him something about you he didn’t know. He can even get hooked, just like you and I can get hooked on our favorite show (e.g Game of Thrones,etc).

My Companion Guide will offer lots of great suggestions on text messages you can send him. Also, my ebook, The Texting Bible is a great resource.
Serene

April 21, 2018 at 1:42 am

Hi Chris Thank U! I did get your ebooks. The main issue here i’m perplexed about is when i broke no contact & reached out to him, his response was immediate,friendly & happy. Then when I told him we can chat via whatsapp instead of snapchat if he wants (we always do during our course of the relationship) he stopped responding. In our previous quarrels before the break up when we get back into communication, he’ll always text back via whatsapp. Why the pull back? He doesnt want to reconnect further? I find it stupid when i have already reached out,he lets it go stagnant but still views my snapchat stories & when given the opportunity to reconnect he doesnt cherish it
Chris Seiter

April 21, 2018 at 2:46 am

Emotions can get in people’s way of how they think and act. So he might not be coming from a logical place right now. He might be riding a bit of a roller coaster of what he thinks he wants or how he prefers to communicate. After breakup periods are often defined by inconsistent behavior. If he doesn’t respond, give him a little more space/time and try again. You want to build re-attraction slowly over time
Serene

April 21, 2018 at 3:49 am

We have been on long distance through out our relationship. There isnt physical memories for him to hold onto. All are emotional connection & memories. I reached out to him with a picture of an old bear because we both own our childhood bears. Do I go into No Contact again & let him reach out this time or how long more do I try again? To be honest it got me feeling abit shitty reaching out to have him react like that. I rather he had cut me out or ignore me totally… at least I have a closure. At this point another man is pursuing me, i dont feel the same emotional attraction like I feel for my ex when he was pursuing me. Do I wait or move on to give another man I like less.. a chance?
Chris Seiter

April 22, 2018 at 12:19 am

Hi Serene…great question. Just go it slow on both ends. Pull back on your ex and go it slow with this other man. Time is the great arbitrator of all things. If you do slow and tap down on the emotions, time will allow for your feelings to settle in and for you to see what you truly want based on what you know at that given time.
Serene

April 22, 2018 at 3:43 am

Hi Chris, i just found out the other guy chasing is a catfish… it made me deepen the feelings i have for my ex even more. The current situation remains that when I reach out he is very responsive but he deliberately limit conversations & let it go cold. I wanted to ask him if he feels that i’m bugging him and wants me to back off but that’ll come across as pushy? It feels like he has lost the attraction & our hard built connection over almost a year is now gone 🙁 every step i take now i fear
Chris Seiter

April 22, 2018 at 4:29 am

No need to be afraid Serene. Attraction simply doesn’t dissipate so quickly. Just tap into the ideas/tactics/tips of my ebook and you will be well served
Serene

April 22, 2018 at 12:25 pm

If feelings aint dissipating, why is he pulling back & limiting communication? He didnt make use of the opportunity to reconnect after I reached out. Why is this so? And also is it possible to do a 1 on 1 session with u & i noticed we need to pay to be on your FB group, is it a 1 time payment? Thank u 🙂
Serene

April 26, 2018 at 11:44 am

Hi Chris, things took a turn… afew days ago after i first reached out to him… 3 of my relatives got into an accident. All didnt survive… i text him to tell him about it after i felt more calm…I wanted so much for him to offer me support & TLC like he used to… he was nice in respond & empathy when i give him updates. He doesnt reach out to ask if i’m ok. I dont know if he has put me in friendzone or still has feelings for me but not expressing it like he used to. I’m on eggshells becos I do not want to get all emotional & push him away further. Do I take more space further from him OR update him like a friend? Please help me 🙁
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 2:48 pm

Sorry for your loss. Best to stick with the plan you laid out. Probably best to have minimal contact, with occasional updates
Serene

April 26, 2018 at 3:00 pm

Hi Chris, While he responded to my texts I wanted to take the opportunity to tell him i’ve reflected over the no contact period & apologise about unknowingly pressurising & pushing him in the course of our relationship causing the breakup. Although I dont feel I’m totally at fault becos there are times he doesnt do enough to sustain the LDR too but on the mistakes I made I would want him to know i’ve realised them too. Is it a good idea to do that or it would simply be deem as being emotional & drama?
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 3:20 pm

Best not to get into complicated relationship talk until you guys are on much firmer ground
Serene

April 26, 2018 at 11:13 pm

Ok Thank U. Will going back to no contact again help? At this point of in time
i’m not sure if I have done the 25 days of no contact correctly before reaching out to him again esp he dumped me. Chances dont look good at this point especially if he had wanted to do more to reconnect now… he has all the reasons & excuses to do so… but he didnt
Serene

April 26, 2018 at 2:54 pm

When I give him updates he does respond pretty fast & then after afew exchange it slows down… I dont want to make him feel like I’m depending on him for emotional support even though its what I yearn from him at this point of time… he is in absolute control of the pace/content in respond. He still respond to me but i cant tell his current state of mind if its friendzone or not… how much time do I give for him to warm up to decide if he is worth me going further to win him back.
I’m lost & sad… Minimal contact as in I do not reach out to him anymore unless he does?
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 3:24 pm

I think so…having balance is important or otherwise one can come off as being too needy. I discuss this in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. I coined a phrase to describe the phenomenon…its called Tide Theory.
Chris Seiter

April 22, 2018 at 11:00 pm

I Serene…people involved in breakups often pull back an limit communications for all sorts of reasons. Me, my wife, and and Anna do our Coaching Sessions. I have had to limit my schedule as I my time is so limited. Anna is wonderful and she still has some slots open. To join the FB group, its a one time cost of $97. If you go through my webinar (on the website) and purchase the Premium Bundled Package (multiple ebooks), the Private Facebook Group is for free. Which is a darn good deal given how much the women who have joined it, love it.

Jay

April 19, 2018 at 11:30 pm

Hey! Is jay here again!!
Just want to know if I should break NC rule to tell her that I understand the reason of the break up and hen do 21 days of NC and get her back? Or should I keep going with the NC rule because I just stop talking to her like that…. and I don’t know it weird that I just stop talking to her! So what should I do…

Chris Seiter

April 20, 2018 at 4:11 am

Howdy Jay…I think its better to stay the course with NC and adapt as needed. In my ebook, The No Contact Rulebook, I get into all the ways in which you can adapt and modify your NC period depending on many factors and variables. Also, it’s full of all kinds of recovery tactics to help you through the whole process. So you might want to also take a look at that. Yeah…I know….the whole thing around breakups can feel weird because routines are out of whack. So create a healthy set of new routines and focus on your plan and adapt as needed.

Emma

April 19, 2018 at 1:53 am

Hey! So I bought the ebook on this topic and noticed it said to let your ex know before you initiate the NC. I already started the NC about a week ago, we broke up about 2 weeks ago. My ex had texted me and I ignored it. In return he got mad and now he hasn’t said one word to me. We’re still living together so it’s really awkward. Should I talk to him and explain what I’m doing? I can tell he thinks I’m a complete b- for ignoring him after I was talking to him for a week right after we broke up. I’m confused about what to do, leave it be or say something? Thanks!
Jess

April 17, 2018 at 11:31 pm

So my ex boyfriend and I had an argument about a week ago and my ex wanted a break and so I gave him a week and after I texted and asked him what he was thinking and told me he wanted to break up. We broke up on Sunday and we have been together for 4+ years long distance and he’s 21 and I’m 24. His reasons for breaking up were he didn’t feel appreciated, the long distance, and I wanted to stay a life together already but he says he can’t give me that yet since he’s only 21. I’m going to start the NC. He’s watching my Snapchat stories all the time. HELP!

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 5:27 am

His Jess….go check out my ebooks! They are incredible comprehensive. You can find them in my website’s Menu/Product section. NC is a good idea, but you want have a blueprint on all the things you can do!

Naj

April 16, 2018 at 3:10 pm

I’ve been in an on/off relationship with my boyfriend for a year. Reason was because of his vices (drinking/smoking). He wasn’t like that before so we would always fight and then break up but also recover again. But just last week, he began to be treating me so cold, that he wasn’t even texting me. I confronted him last week Wednesday and asked what’s happening. We talked personally and he said that he just wanted to end our relationship. It was the first time that he initiated the break up. I cried so much that night in front of him, even telling him things how we can get over our situation. But nothing can change his mind. I think it’s because he met this new girl. I know his FB messenger password (he didn’t know I just guessed) and found out about the girl. I still check his messenger from time to time and they’re still talking and I think he’s happy with her. 🙁 Never talked to him since that last Wednesday night. So that’s been 5 days now. Any advice please? Thank you.

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 3:04 am

HI Naj…You read a really good article of mine. To dig deeper, consider some of my ebooks and other resources (i.e. website Menu/Products link) as they go into much greater detail. You really want to have a plan. I know it hurts when you feel rejected. IF he did meet someone, it may not gain any traction. But you should construct an ex recover strategy and part of that is learning more about how the whole system fits together, starting with No Contact.
Naj

April 18, 2018 at 9:09 am

I have been browsing your website and I’m starting to make a plan now. But what if he already erased all our pictures in his Instagram account? I think the reason is the girl already started following his IG. So that means he doesn’t want her to know that there’s a chance between us, right? I’m kinda getting hopeless. Help pls.
Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 11:11 pm

HI Naj…that could be it. But stick with you plan and focus on the teachings in my ebook. Self healing is an important component.
Naj

April 24, 2018 at 6:56 pm

Hi Chris. I’ve been following your guide for 2 weeks now- No contact and trying to be active in my social media sites. And I came back because my ex just started to like my posts/pictures. And he just chatted me now saying he wanted me to block him on all my social sites. I think it’s the point of his realization now. I can honestly say that I was his comfort and being gone even just for a while made him realize my worth. I haven’t replied to him yet since I want to stay committed to my 30 days NC rule. But it makes me sad that he wants me to block him. What should I do?
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2018 at 8:14 pm

HI Naj…great job with following through with the advice in my Guide. You ex obliviously is missing you. Yes, your value has increased in his eyes. Why don’t you make an exception to the NC rule and tell him you got his message and “its makes you sad that he wants you to block him”. Essentially tell him what you just told me. See how he reacts. If the communications are positive, then go it slow and do a meetup like I describe in my ebook.

Also, as you go through all of this and you feel you need some ongoing advice and emotional support, you can consider two things. I offer coaching services which you can take a look at. And you also should consider joining my Private Facebook Support Group. It has about 1500 women and its a tight group and I show up weekly to do live webcast with them. It is always good to have a support group. Just click on my website Menu/Products link to learn more!

Angelica

April 14, 2018 at 11:46 pm

I only saw him because I went to his house to see if we could eat back together he didn’t want to see me at all help me please
Angelica

April 14, 2018 at 11:44 pm

Hello okay me and my ex have technically been broken up for 6 weeks but we were still in contact here and there I saw him about a week ago and he ended things really bad so I told myself I was going to move on but I kinda want to do this no contact rule it’s been a week and no contact no text nothing from him when the 30 days are up what do you do ? And how do I know if I should hit him up after or not if he never reaches out I miss him so much
Serene

April 14, 2018 at 2:31 am

What does it mean when your ex dumped u but still view every single of your snapchat stories? I understand for snapchat stories you have to click manually for the story to be able to view it. I’m currently on week 4 of no contact with him. HELP! I want him back for another try

Chris Seiter

April 14, 2018 at 3:52 am

Hi Serene….it sounds like to me his thoughts wander over to you at times. The No Contact is probably working in that regard. Just follow the tactics I talk about in my Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro ebook as it covers this topic extensively.
Serene

April 16, 2018 at 1:57 pm

Thank You Chris. We were in an LDR for 9mths & have plans to meet within this year but things turned sour & we broke up. I’m on Day 23 of No contact. He hasnt done much other than viewing all my snapchat stories… I want to try to work things out with him again till at least we meet & see if the chemistry is there. What should I do? How long should NC be?
Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 3:15 am

Hi Serene. As you probably well know, all of the dealings and fallout from a breakup can get complicated. Honestly, my best advice is if you haven’t already, you should consider picking up a copy of my one of my ebooks (i.e. click website Menu/Products link). Generally NC runs 21-30 days. Different for everyone depending lots of variables. I even wrote an massive ebook on the topic itself, “The No Contact Rule Book”. I too have been in a LDR and it worked for me. So keep a positive attitude and develop your plan based on whatever Guide you are using and execute it!

McKayla

April 13, 2018 at 12:16 am

My boy friend and I had a friends with benefits type of relationship for almost two years when we were in college together. Then as we both moved out of state, him back home to Florida and me to California he asked me to be his girl friend. It has only been a few months of trying a LDR and we already have broken up. I initiated the break up because of trust issues. Then he became angry with me for “setting him up” (I had a friend he didn’t know message him on social media to see if he would claim me and he didn’t, he was flirty with her). Its been a few days and I feel bad for what I did, but I also still feel hurt and now insecure. I have desperately/embarrassingly tried to see if we could talk and work things out or explore having a different kind of relationship but he hasn’t responded to me. Should I initiate the no contact rule at this point? Or is it too late?

Chris Seiter

April 13, 2018 at 4:00 am

Hi McKayla. Yes, LDR can be an added challenge for couples. Appears to be some hurt on both sides. A little space would probably benefit you both for a spell. Visit my website Menu/Products page if you are looking for a more comprehensive way of dealing with the challenges of breakups and how to institute No Contact, as well as how to effectively communicate vie Text Messages. Lots of resources there for folks. I am sensing that there is still a connection there and once the flames of the emotions die back down. Then you can try and make contact and lay your cards on the table as to what you both think you did wrong.

Anna

April 11, 2018 at 11:40 am

Hi, I’m not sure this would work in my situation. We are LDR and he broke up with me 4 days ago and is supposed to come see me in Argentina in 21 days… He has his flights booked plus he was supposed to bring me things I needed (I forgot a important admin documents upon arriving here). I want to iniate no contact and haven’t answered his last text but how do I handle not knowing if he is going to come or not ? How do I plan things ? We’ve been together for a year.

Chris Seiter

April 11, 2018 at 1:35 pm

Hey Anna! I see your point. Well, just play it by ear. Let things unfold and see if he makes contact, then develop your plan over time.

Soph

April 11, 2018 at 10:14 am

My ex ended it. I begged and pleaded so much he says he never wants to see me again. Blocked me on social media and we don’t talk. I have done no contact for a couple of weeks. I got sexually assaulted while out a couple of days ago. My ex is stationed in a different country but I just want him to hold me. He is the only person I want to see. Should I tell him what has happened? I need to get away from everything at home right now and just want to see him. But I also want to get him back. What should I do? Please help me.

Chris Seiter

April 11, 2018 at 1:42 pm

Hi Soph. If you feel it will benefit you, make you get some emotional treatment for what you have been through. Yes, I think he should know and can be part of providing emotional treatment, but also make sure you are getting all the help you might need. Remember, there are lots of people out there who love you.
Soph

April 11, 2018 at 4:01 pm

I felt silly at how soon it was. It has only been a few days. Like a week of no contact. Does this change anything? Will contacting him end badly and mean we never get back together?
Chris Seiter

April 11, 2018 at 11:00 pm

Hi Soph! Its OK. Keep a positive attitude no matter how things shake out. Rarely does contacting someone early bring a demise to all things. So no worries.
Soph

April 12, 2018 at 3:53 pm

After the assault. How do I even break no contact so soon? Less than a week of it! I really annoyed him to the point he never wants to see me again. So how can I possibly break no contact and ask to see him without ruining my chances of getting him back?
Chris Seiter

April 12, 2018 at 4:22 pm

Hi Soph…you clearly no him better than I. Usually, you wouldn’t want to break NC. You wouldn’t necessarily need to see him. I just thought he would want to know what happened and offer you support, hence he could be informed. But what matters most is your welfare and putting yourself first is important.
Chris Seiter

April 12, 2018 at 4:22 pm

Hi Soph…you clearly no him better than I. Usually, you wouldn’t want to break NC. You wouldn’t necessarily need to see him. I just thought he would want to know what happened and offer you support, hence he could be informed. But what matters most is your welfare and putting yourself first is important.
Soph

April 12, 2018 at 7:26 am

How should I go about contacting him then? I don’t want to ruin any chance I have. How do I go about ending no contact so soon and saying I want to get a plane to see him?
Chris Seiter

April 12, 2018 at 5:05 pm

Follow the blueprint plan I laid out in my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”!

Lynda

April 10, 2018 at 11:57 am

I’m wondering if this would work for my situation. After a year of being together through long distance for a few months and scares visits afterwards about once or twice a month, he decided that there was no real time to have a relationship being that he’s focused on his career and was not going to change his mind. This came up very unexpectedly being that I too am developing with my career and was 100 percent down to make thing work through both our busy life styles. He made it seem like this decision was what was best for me, being that he’s always busy and not able to give in the relationship. We are both very disciplined and I just feel that once his mind is set there’s no going back. I think it would be nice to hear honest insight from an outside perspective.

Chris Seiter

April 10, 2018 at 10:47 pm

Hi Lynda. Sometimes guys and gals thing they have it all figured out when they breakup. Sometimes it is the best thing to do. Sometimes not. With a long distance kind of relationship, it puts added strain. Time will tell if he truly is set on this and if YOU want this. My best advice is you need to gain more insight and smarts on how this whole ex recovery thing works. That is why I created an ebook called, Ex Recovery Pro. Go take a look. You can get there by way of my website’s Menu, click on the link for “Products.” Chances are, you just need a few good ideas to tap into!

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