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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Subkan
November 3, 2013 at 7:22 am
Hi Chris, We were in official relship for 3 months but we broke up 2 weeks ago when I was away for work. The reason he told me is ” This gap gave him a feeling that he has to be alone and need time for himself”. When I was away, he established a contact with one of the girls in the same city and told me she is just a friend. Even after break up we used to text each other and he gave me daily updates. Not single time he texted me about this new friend. But within 10 days of our break up, I saw him making out with the ‘friend’ girl in a party. I could not control myself and so went on his face confronting him. Well, I should not have done it. But he texted next day morning justifying it didn’t happen and what I saw was wrong. My final text message to him was ” I understand I should not bother about him and whom is going around since we are officially done. Hope he is happy and enjoying the phase”. I have a strong feeling that he broke up with me to go around with this girl or start a relship with her. I started NC 1 day ago. Please advise if NC would work in my case at all or not.
PS: We both work in the same work place. So I will try my best not to bump on him at work.
admin
November 3, 2013 at 6:07 pm
Yes it will. I think you should do it.
Subkan
November 4, 2013 at 3:06 am
But isn’t it quite risky to go on NC. Since he decided to break-up with me because of the gap, changes during the gap and minimal contact during the distance. Do you think I still need to go on NC to get him back ?
admin
November 4, 2013 at 5:37 pm
What do you think? What is your gut telling you?
Subkan
November 5, 2013 at 1:19 am
Hmm. He is not very prompt in responding to me as well. At times, I don’t get a reply back at all. Moreover he told me he is feeling pressurized when I keep asking some stuff repeatedly and since we just broke up, he needs space, time and distance to clear some thoughts in his head. So tell me what should I do ?. NC or no-NC ?
admin
November 5, 2013 at 5:44 pm
I vote NC!
Nicole
November 3, 2013 at 1:09 am
Ok, so I previously used your tactics to get my ex back in August. Yesterday we (kinda) broke up again. We had a disagreement over how he was talking to me, so I got in my car & didn’t let him in right away. (We were supposed to be hiking up this trail & picked him up at his house. That’s why he walked alone & I drove.) Instead of him waiting for me to let him in the car, he started walking away. I followed behind him, then parked across the street & he kept walking. I drove up the street, turned around & parked again. As he walked by my car, he opened the door, got his phone out, & then kept walking. After that I just drove back to my apartment. His mom had been calling me looking for him & I was trying to keep in touch with her. She told me when she picked him up from the gym, that she asked him if he was breaking up with me. (He walked from the trail all the way to his gym.) Supposedly he said, “No, I love her!” I’m unsure if he really said that, but I don’t think she would lie to me. I’ve been using the no contact rule since the incident happened yesterday. (FYI: I don’t plan on having an on & off again relationship with him. That’s why I want him to contact me within 30 days, so we can discuss if we’re going to be together or not.)
Questions:
* Do you think he’ll contact me within 30 days?
* How long do you think it will take him to get over this situation?
* Do you think he really meant what he said to his mom? Do guys lie about things like that so easily?
Thanks in advance!
admin
November 3, 2013 at 5:48 pm
Sorry for the re-breakup :(.
1. I think it is very possible but don’t be upset if he doesn’t.
2. Really relaly hard to say.
3. They can. It all depends on his character.
Laura
November 2, 2013 at 9:17 pm
Hi, I had been seeing my boyfriend for a couple of months and during that time things moved pretty quickly and we were both talking about the future a lot. He often said how happy he was, and that he knew things had happened quickly but that it was a good thing and it felt like we had known each other for years. All of a sudden, I noticed things changing in that he was making excuses not to see me and not telling me he missed me etc. I mentioned it and he told me I was being paranoid. I pursued it saying I just wanted to make sure we both wanted the same things and he said he felt that I was further along than him and it had happened quite quickly. I suggested a break and he agreed saying he wanted some me time and time with his friends. I then changed my mind saying I didn’t want to be kept hanging on and that we could break up altogether if he’d prefer and he said he wouldn’t prefer that. Then the next day he said that he just saw it as a friendship. This didn’t fit in with the way he’d been acting with me. Just wondering if you think NC would work here considering that he originally just wanted a break?
admin
November 3, 2013 at 5:23 pm
Yes it can work extremely well.
sasha
November 2, 2013 at 3:01 pm
chris,
I stay 2 months and half like you said no contact rule after a bad break we had ,he told we dont have nothing to speak anymore,then i stay 2 months no contact and yesterday i sent him email to hear from him and said on email that my son asked about him because my son had birthday.my ex answer that he is happy with job now,he was emotioned of the asking of my son and said kid dont Forget and said to say to my son happy birthday,and he said its nice to hear from me and hope also my job is also good.i answer and sent him pic of birthday of my son he were happy and said wow and big cake.After this email i thought that the communication is a bit ok now but may be my ex has already a grilfriend,how can i know he still love me,or if he still want me or miss me?Please help me do i still have change,during no contact he didnt contact me.Please i wait your advice
admin
November 3, 2013 at 5:00 pm
Why do you think he already has a girlfriend?
You are doing ok just take things one step at a time. You can send him another email and text him later in a few days.
sasha
November 3, 2013 at 7:35 pm
hello,thank you for your message,with the destiny i met him in one bar i was going to drink coffee,i swas him since 2 months,everything was ok,he smile we talk fats and nothing abour us only simple things job,then later i sent him sms to say it was nice to see him,and he take care,he answered me he said i was very pretty,i answered thanks,and 2 hours later he asked me if i am at my home at the moment,i answered no i was in a bar night some drink,then he told me if i have any problem of táxi to go home,i can come and stay in his house(because the bar i was in near his house),i didnt answer directly,then i go home and said goognight.What do you think about his actions after all that time?give me some tricks or message i can send him i dont want to be fast,how can i act?thank you
admin
November 4, 2013 at 5:05 pm
Have you read the rest of this site? I give plenty of text message examples you can use 🙂
sasha
November 4, 2013 at 11:03 pm
yes i read but i dont understand.and he said to me he will send me sometimes messages to say hi but we stay friends
sasha
November 4, 2013 at 3:24 pm
just to say more yesterday we texted eachother but he said he miss me and said too,today we texted again and i invited him he asked a hug but he was afraid because he wanted something else i told him only today he said the nwe are only friend,we meet in my house he was nervous he asked hug and was happy to see me again,then we had sex,he said he missed sometimes he said i was the last girl he had sex,after me until now no one,the moment were intense then he stay for cuddle,i dont know if i did well because he said after we are only friend,is it bad sign?please what i have to do now’thank you.i just remind that he is a proud man not easy
admin
November 4, 2013 at 6:22 pm
I don’t think you should have slept together… nevertheless, time will tell if it was a good idea or not.
sasha
November 4, 2013 at 11:01 pm
if you said it ,i lost him then,:( and he said we just friends after nothing else.i lost everything,
Stace
November 2, 2013 at 1:11 am
I dated a guy for around 4 years. He moved back to his hometown and basically told me that I need to do my own thing. It’s been about 3 months since I even bothered trying to talk to him. I feel like he’s so different now. Many days I still think of him and wonder why he ended things the way he did. He was the only one I felt like I could relate to. He hasn’t tried to contact me at all but I’m not surprised because he was never the one to really make an effort with me. It was mostly me. He just disappeared from my life and I don’t think he’ll ever contact me again, but I still have hope that one day he will. I just want there to be closure but there hasn’t been any. Should I continue no contact and completely move on?
admin
November 2, 2013 at 6:58 pm
I say give this a shot and continue NC.
Ewelina
November 2, 2013 at 12:02 am
Me an my ex broke up about 2 weeks ago. He tells me, after all that happened he can’t be with me right now, but “down the road who knows”. He says that if we are friends, then we will work out as a couple in the near future but for now he needs to be single and work on himself etc. He says he is not looking for anyone and doesn’t want to date anyone for 2-3 months.
He texts me everyday asking how I am doing, and just general chat what is going on. He calls me sweet names etc,and he is kinda leading me on, yet he tells me he can’t be with me now. He also drunk dialing and talks about what is happening in his life.
And the best part? He said “You are welcome to fight for me, just nothing is happening now”…”you never bother me, and are always welcome to text”.
I know NC is necessary here since I think he feels like I am around and he didn’t lost me.
So here is my question do I tell him I need some time apart without talking everyday with him, or do I just ignore his texts for 30 days?
admin
November 2, 2013 at 6:46 pm
Obviously do what you are most comfortable with but if it was me I would just go straight into NC.
Stace
November 3, 2013 at 4:56 pm
Have you seen any success when continuing NC for a long while..like more than 5 months? I just don’t want to be the one to contact him, but I feel like if I don’t he won’t either.
admin
November 4, 2013 at 4:42 pm
Sure, I have seen someone get an ex back who used it for 9 months.
Sara
November 1, 2013 at 6:23 pm
Hi Chris. I’m currently in the “texting stage” right now. I was reading an article that talked about the grim outlook in getting an ex back. I feel very discouraged and disheartened after reading this. I’m wondering…from your own experience, and from what you’ve seen in your own life/with friends, and through your work on this site…how often are women successful in getting their ex back (I understand every case is different)? Assuming we follow your “plan”…I feel very discouraged. This article told me only 1% of couples reunite successfully. That’s so depressing!! Do you hear of a lot of success stories?? Please help!
admin
November 2, 2013 at 6:21 pm
You can read about some of the success stories here: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/success-stories/.
Those are just the ones I am allowed to show you. I get a lot more that people don’t let me make public.
Anonymous
October 31, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Hi Chris. Great site by the way. Some great advice here!!
My ex and I have been apart for 2 months now and have said from the word go that we need time apart but just have done it. I have begged, cried, shouted. Basically everything that I shouldn’t of done. He has said he just doesn’t want to be with anyone and when he does he does want it to be me. But after a big argument yesterday I think I’ve blown it. I told him I have to let him go. It was a emotional conversation and he seemed a little gutted that I had said I was walking away from him. We have two small children together so we obviously have to see each other. Is it too lay for me to star the NC rule? I have decided to give myself a month and see where we are then as we are meant to be going on a shopping trip to get our kids Xmas presents. I feel as if I have blown any chance of us getting back together by our argument that we had coz he said he has lost all hope now and when I go on and on I just push him further away and make him feel like he doesn’t want to come home even more. We have this convo almost every week. I then leave it and am happy around him and then we make progress and then I beg for him to come home and we are back to square one. Please please help me and tell me I’ve not blown it and it’s not too late to apply the NC/MC Rule.
admin
October 31, 2013 at 7:54 pm
You haven’t blown it and you can apply the MC rule for sure!
Anonymous
November 1, 2013 at 11:55 am
Any advice on what to do after the 30 day MC?
admin
November 1, 2013 at 6:53 pm
Yup, you send him a text. The type I have in the E-book or on this site hahahaha.
Alicia Austin
October 31, 2013 at 2:44 am
So , a week ago me and my ex had sex . I sometimes catch him looking at me every time I go over there . I still really like him and he knows that . His family likes me a lot , I’m best friends with his cousin , and I go over there a lot and she comes to my house . I haven’t been there in two days , so I’m trying out the no contact rule . Do you think he’ll try to contact me within those 30 days ? If he contacts me , should I talk to him ?
admin
October 31, 2013 at 7:34 pm
I think he will but I still wouldn’t contact him.
Alicia Austin
November 1, 2013 at 12:20 am
Thanks, he used to talk to this girl, but i don’t think they talk anymore, but then there’s a whole lot of girls he talks to on the site KIK. The bad thing is i live like 15 seconds away from him. It’s been my third day and i’m doing good, but December i’m getting my hair done and change my wardrobe up. Will that make him attracted more to me if i change up my style and not let him see me?
admin
November 1, 2013 at 6:25 pm
I urge you to check out the Ungettable Girl post so you can understand what men usually find attractive.
karen
October 31, 2013 at 2:14 am
Hi chris my boyfriend broke up with me on sept 20. We dated for eight years,
He told me he fell out of love.i was emotional and needy.i didnt see the break up coming so 2 weeks after the break up I chased him like a psycho ex girlfrnd I did all the things that I am not supposed to do after a break up. Text him beg for him to come back and slept with him because I was so lost I cant believe all of those are happening and I was searching for answers. Now I regret doing those things. I should have just kept my dignity and acted like a mature girl even if I was dyng inside. Then his friends told me he has been drinking excessively and he is absent minded at work I think he is also rebounding. Last time I flooded him with messages, he told me to stop texting because things will never be the same again and that I should move on. I started the nc on october 19, if he told me to stop contacting I him u think he would still wonder why iv been ignoring him after I acted crazy? Or he would just think that I am doing what he told me to do-to stop texting and move on? I also followed all the things u suggested while a girl is on nc- I focused on myself I went on a vacation, I surprisingly look vibrant and glowing in my photos and I made it appear like there is so much going on in my life in my ig account. He deleted my pictures in his account but not all. He is still following me. Thanks chris your ite helped me alot.
admin
October 31, 2013 at 7:33 pm
Are you currently in NC?
karen
October 31, 2013 at 10:29 pm
Yes chris. I started the NC on oct 19,the day after I begged for a second chance.
admin
November 1, 2013 at 6:18 pm
So you are still very early into NC!
karen
November 1, 2013 at 10:07 pm
Haha.okay.so I should just wait. Another question, 11 days after NC he deleted all my pictures in his instagram account. Does that mean anything?
admin
November 2, 2013 at 6:26 pm
It means what you already know.. the two of you are broken up and this is what people do.
Jennifer
November 2, 2013 at 9:00 pm
Hi Chris
Chris I am doing my nc rule for 14 days
Today I mc called him on viber by mistake :s
What does it mean? That I should start the nc from the begining?
admin
November 3, 2013 at 5:16 pm
Hahah explain something to me. How do you call someone by mistake? Butt dial?
I think you don’t have to start over just add an extra week on.
Jennifer
November 3, 2013 at 6:27 pm
I was talking with my friend on phone then he said let’s talk viber I said ok
I opened viber and the convo with my ex was opened already ,so I automatically called him :s
I quickly canceled it but I don’t know if I mc him or no 🙁
admin
November 4, 2013 at 4:51 pm
Gotcha, just go back into NC.
Sophie
October 30, 2013 at 6:28 pm
Hi again. I’m having trouble w no contact bc I keep being a sucker when he texts and makes me feel guilty or wants to come back. I don’t want to go back now the way things are between us, being off and on etc. so I blocked him on my phone and he will get a message saying he is blocked. Is this okay? Or will it ruin any chances for reconciliation bc he will give up on me?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 10:06 pm
I would prefer to not have them blocked and just not answer.
Kel
October 30, 2013 at 2:45 am
Just a quick couple of questions. If you contact your ex boyfriend after 30 days, and he hasn’t even attempted to contact you, doesn’t that make a woman look desperate? I would think if a guy truly loves you he would have tried to contact you in this time. Also, won’t that give him the upper hand in the relationship knowing that YOU came to him?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 4:18 am
I don’t think so. I mean cutting someone off after a month. It would just seem like a casual “hey, just checking up on you.”
Kelly
October 29, 2013 at 11:48 pm
Hi,
So I was single for 5 years, up until about 5 months ago. I met this guy through some friends of mine over lunch one day. I was informed by those “friends” that I was there to do a business meeting and possibly gain a new client in the work field that I do. Well, come to find out, my friends were setting me up. They ended up leaving about half way through the lunch and him and I stayed to finish our meals. Long story short, two hours passed by and we hadn’t even realized it. For weeks he tried to get me to go on an “official” date with him. I was so against it, as I have been single for so long and just didn’t want to get back into the whole dating scene. Finally, one night after us talking for those few weeks, I caved in. I let him take me on our first official date and I have to say it was seriously the best date I have ever been on. Soon after that, him and I were inseparable. We have had our issues, but honestly never ever had a real fight and definitely never anything so bad that we would break up over it. If we ever even attempted to fight, we would talk it out and everything would seem to be fine the next day. For the last month, I did notice him acting a little different. His moods were changing (he seemed down alot) and he just didn’t seem to be himself. I talked to his sister about it because we have become pretty close and she said that his “moodiness” is his worst character flaw. She insured me that he is a great guy and that he loves me, so to try and help him through it. Well, two weeks ago, he dumped me out of no where. These last two weeks have seriously been the hardest of my life. The only reason he left me with, was that I had done absolutely nothing wrong and that he just felt like because of the way he had been acting lately, that it was making me happy and I deserved better. That’s it. He won’t give me anything else… I just recently found your website and I feel like I made a complete ass of myself out of anger and hurt, since he broke it off two weeks ago. How can I get back to that point where he is chasing after me again?
I wanted to mention also that I tried the 30 day no contact method and broke it after only four days.. I am trying again and I know I can do it, with some help or advice. Is there still any hope as to anything I can do to bring us back together or make him “want” me again?
kiki
October 31, 2013 at 1:09 am
Is his name Robert?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 4:17 am
Well its pretty simple don’t break NC after 4 days hahaha. You have the right idea and you can do it! I know you can!
Ke-Ke
October 29, 2013 at 9:33 pm
Hi Chris :).I was dating this guy officially for three months only, not very long right, that I know. We went through a lot to be together, so I thought it would be worth holding on to and fighting for. A week shy of our four month anniversary, I found out he cheated on me with his ex, I ended things.we were still in contact after that.I really missed him like mad, I got over my anger a bit and agreed to work on things if he proved himself enough. While we were literally chatting about working things out, he changed his relationship status to “in another relationship with another chick”.. Again I was pissed off and didn’t want anything to do with him. But I missed him, I still wanted him to be mine again. We started talking again and I told him that as long as he was still with this chick, he must leave me alone, I won’t have a thing to say to him. After a few days he said he left her,my inner voice told me something was up, I did my digging and, he didn’t leave her.I left him to believe that I believed him but I wanted access to all his social networking sites and he lied about still having access to some of them. He straight out lied to me and thought I’d be stupid enough to not put the pieces together, the fact that he lied like that put me off him, that was my breaking point. I had no contact with him after that(over time that all this happened I found your page online and read about the no contact rule so I thought I’d give it a try)just over a week of us last speaking, he tried getting in contact with me, he chose to text me, on more than one occasion, I did not respond. It’s been almost a month since I last spoke to him and at times I’m fine with it but other times I feel like I’m going insane. I miss him, I miss talking to him. The thought of him with some other chick just haunts me. I still want him back after everything. I wish I knew what goes on in that mind of his. How could I mean so little to him for him to move on so fast and not even worry about me anymore. I’m stuck in a place where I’m still hung up over him, I can’t stop thinking about him and I don’t know what to do.what should I do?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 4:11 am
So I am assuming you are doing NC?
Ke-Ke
October 30, 2013 at 8:39 am
Yes..but it’s hard, and I want him back because I can’t get over him. I just want him to prove himself. Show some kind of remorse. Because knowing that he moved on so soon, is getting to me. Do I keep up the no contact rule, should I get in contact with him again or just keep trying to move on
admin
October 30, 2013 at 9:27 pm
Keep it up at this point.
Ke-Ke
October 31, 2013 at 3:57 pm
For how long?
Anonymous
October 29, 2013 at 4:31 pm
Hi Chris! First of all, thank you for all you do! I have read every article you’ve posted (many more than once). I have completed my 30 days of NC and now am into the “texting phase”. Your site has taught me, most of all, about patience. Not only in waiting out the 30 days, but also now as my ex and I text each other. I make sure there is more equal “back and forth”, and I am also mindful of making sure sometimes that he is the last one to text me (so that I have more control). I am also waiting longer and longer in between texts (sometimes days even). Lastly, I keep the texts lighthearted and try to stay away from anything too deep or related to emotion. My question is, where do I go from here…now that we are texting. Should I just continue doing what I am doing and wait for him to ask about getting together? What should I expect from the guy at this point?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 3:59 am
New guide posted today! Its a long one.
Patience is key you are absolutely right.
What you are looking for now is to get a date but you need to slowly advance your texting to get to a point where he is attracted enough to ask you on one.
Sorry kind of strapped for time today.
Tricia
October 29, 2013 at 2:47 pm
I started dating a boy nine months ago that I am head over heels for. At first, we were very happy with each other. We tried to motivate each other to adventure and exercise. We talked endlessly about almost everything. Things were good for about five months until we went home from school for the summer and started spending more time around his family. They decided that they absolutely hated me. Before this, we had been perfectly friendly. They did research on my past and found out that I had smoked pot in high school, which they talked about constantly. They took every opportunity to demean me and try to encourage their son to cut me loose. Of course, this led to fights. I didn’t think he was defending me properly, he thought I was trying to alienate him from his family, etc. At the end of the summer, we were trying to get things together to move, and we had cosigned a lease to live together. Of course, after some fights between him and his family and him and me, they decided that they were not willing to financially support him if he was with me and living with me. If they were to financially support him, there were all kinds of ridiculous stipulations he had to follow and he had to work with their businesses to get it. They took his car over the summer and wouldn’t help him get one to use for school and wherever else he needed to go, so I was the only one with transportation. This led to us being stuck with each other nearly constantly after moving. Naturally, we started fighting more. My dad had cosigned the lease with us, and my boyfriend had no reliable way to pay his half of the bills. This led to a string of nagging from my dad to me and from me to him. His family the whole time was in his ear through the phone spending most of their time criticizing him and telling him to drop me because I controlled him and made him unproductive, very little of the time were they actually trying to be helpful. After about a month living together with these problems, a boy that I dated for three years when I was younger dropped dead of a sudden stroke the day after my 21st birthday. Of course, there was a huge emotional impact that I don’t think the new boyfriend was happy to see. I got over being emotional pretty quickly, but I started acting like an excessive bitch in some ways such as being jealous (the other guy was a cheater), nagging, and critical. He started acting more moody, restless, and withdrawn in some ways. On top of this, we decided to drop cigarettes. Two weeks after the death of the old boyfriend, the new one was doing some work for his dad over the computer. I made some stupid jealous comment about some of the work he was doing out of nicotine deprivation and stress that bills were due, and it blew up. We had a very short, intense fight that ended with him walking out the door. Of course, all the emotions that weren’t getting to me from the hell that had been my last year (other than him, which I’m not going to go into) because he was around just came crashing down on me. This combined with my newfound ability to buy alchohol led to me turning into an absolute crazy bitch phone gnat for about two weeks. Some of it was legitimate, such as the fact that he just walked out and skipped out on all the bills that were due, leaving me to take care of it. Some of it was emotional, panicked craziness. Some of it toed the line of begging. At first he seemed like he wanted to come back and said he had left to get money together to be able to help with everything. He had skipped town and gone to our hometown to be with his family. He didn’t have any car or way to come back. This faded into him letting me know via text, which is all he would respond to and that infrequently, that we just couldn’t date. He said he needed to be single, yada yada, classic breakup stuff. I of course, was and still am slightly an emotional wreck. After blowing his phone up for a while, I told him that I was sorry for acting crazy, apologized for some things I’d done wrong in the relationship, and told him to get in touch with me when he was done with whatever he was doing by disappearing. I haven’t talked to him in almost two weeks, and he hasn’t tried to contact me. I still have all of his stuff at our apartment including several expensive things and most of his clothes. Most of the online access for bills and rent stuff is under his information. I’m taking care of a kitten we had gotten shortly before he left that he swore was his and he would take if we ever broke up. There are countless loose ends, and he is not helping to tie them. On top of that, I miss him so much. I’ve been trying to get back in shape, socialize, and make sure my head stays on straight, but it hasn’t really managed to get my mind off things. He left about a month ago, and we’ve had no contact in about two weeks. Do you think there is any hope of salvation here considering he is surrounded by people who have been trying to influence him away from me for months and I pulled the crazy phone stuff? Is no contact the best thing to be doing here? After a certain period, should I break it and try to get him to talk to me, or should I just wait for him? Is there anything else I should be doing to make it more likely for us to work everything out?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 3:56 am
WOW that was a lot.
Question. Are you currently in NC?
Tricia
October 30, 2013 at 1:44 pm
Yep
BB
October 28, 2013 at 8:16 pm
Hi, so I’m in this relationship with a guy and we’ve been on and off for about 7 years now. We have a 4 year old son together but he hasn’t done anything with us as a family.. EVER. We got back together a month ago and since then the communication has been mostly about sex, wanting to go on dates, our son and current things (how’s your day). Since we got back together he only texts/calls during the work week (Mon-Fri)but no contact during PM nor on weekends. I see this as a red flag being that he could be living with someone or interested in someone else. I don’t want to go through this but 7 years is a long time. Should I even bother with this relationship, how do I cut him lose?
admin
October 29, 2013 at 2:59 am
Well do you see the relationship going anywhere?
If not I say cut him loose.
Brunette
October 28, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Hi Chris,
Thank you for the insights.
I met this guy online and it was great at the beginning. There was a lot of attraction and he talked repeatedly about future plans and introducing me to his parents. Then after 3 months I started feeling the attraction cooling down: less video chats and phone calls, no special time dedicated to me. I expressed my concern and he agreed that we should plan proper “online dates” since it is a trans-atlantic relationship. I waited for him to schedule these dates, but he never did. We had agreed to meet in Xmas, but he never made firm plans.
To make a long story short, when I felt this change in him, I asked him about it and he gave me the “busy” excuse. From that moment I started the No Contact, I never even broke up with him. And now it’s been almost 3 weeks. I intend to keep the 30 days rule but my questions are:
1- Did I make a mistake by not breaking up with him? At the moment, it just felt that words were useless. Besides, I only meant to lean back a little and wait for him to react….then when he didn’t, it kind of turned into a no contact.
2- Do you think your advise applies to my case since it is a long distance and we never met in person?
3- What should be my next move after the no contact?
Thanks
admin
October 29, 2013 at 2:53 am
1. I don’t think so.
2. I think it is really really hard for you in this case. I talk about this in my LDR post and I am sure the fact you never met in person was making things more complicated.
3. I talk about that in the E-Book and on the How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back guide on this site.
Apple
October 28, 2013 at 7:04 am
hello,
I’ve read your posts and I really appreciate your honesty.
I was in a relationship for 6 months, and 3 are LDR (different continents), everything went serious too fast. During the LDR, he was partying everyday, and has no time to talk to me, and we had lots of fight, then I always try to push him too hard. We tried to fix the relationship, and I felt things were going better.
Last week he suddenly broke up with me, saying we are too different on basic life approach. He doesn’t love me anymore, and 120% sure he won’t love me again.
I acted stupid for 3 days, beginning him to talk and he talked a bit. But then I suddenly realized I shouldn’t, and just told him my love might also faded, and it’s good we breakup and keep distance.But deep inside, I want him back.
However, next week I’m going to visit him as planned when we were still together, and spend every day for 2 months. How can I deal with situation and smartly use it make him in love with me again?
Best,
Apple
admin
October 29, 2013 at 2:11 am
I suggest reading this page.
Dana
October 27, 2013 at 5:44 pm
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend of almost four years broke up with me. His reasoning was because he felt insecure and unsure of how much I really cared about him. I assured him he meant everything to me but it was too late. He said he wanted to remain friends. I agreed at first, but it ended up being too painful. I told him that I could not be friends with him and if he really cared about me, he would not contact me.
Two questions:
Can no contact work if I told my ex not to contact me? After reading your posts, it almost seems that you have to cut them out without giving an explanation.
Is NC the right strategy for someone who broke up with me because I did not give him the attention he needed from the beginning? For the first couple weeks, I begged and pleaded for him to take me back but it only drove him farther away. I feel like NC is the only option left unless you have another suggestion.
Thanks!
admin
October 27, 2013 at 11:01 pm
1. Yes it can.
2. Yes it can but you have some work to do after it.