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seasen
December 24, 2013 at 10:48 pm
What if I met a guy at work, we became best friends, talking about everything from religion to music to our childhoods. We went out after work here and there, we’ve kissed and even set up a day to have sex. We hug and kiss and are very playful with each other, we r constantly laughing and still talk alot about anything, we are very honest with each other and we have talked about a future together. the issue is he is married and was seperated. However the other night we went out with some friends from work and at the end of the night, he politely sat me down and said Im sorry I cant do it. I cant live a DOUBLE LIFE, i MADE A COMMITMENT AND i NEED TO GIVE IT ONE LAST TRY, before you and i go on with you. I am one person with you and another with her. We were both crying, he said he loved me and we went our seperate ways. I work with him, what are your no contact rules for working with someone(which is allowed) at our job, i load semis and he works on the dock, I have never chased after him, he was the one who initially came to me from day one, now after this im sure he will still come into my trailer to talk to me and see if im ok, he is a great stand up guy, so i know he will try to make contact. He said he still wants to be friends and continue that part of our relationship. He said if he gets a divorce, then we could be together and do it the right way. How do i avoid contact, sometimes i have to work with him a little, so do i just keep convo light and easy or what???One good thing is we only work 3 days a week, so i go four days a week without seeing him, there are also two other guys there that like me alot. He said here i am married, and you could have missed out on something great while im keeping you on hold, i feel like a dog with two bones and im not that type of guy. He also has helped me with my car things in my house etc. He is a good friend and Id like to keep that.
admin
December 26, 2013 at 5:45 pm
So, what is your question hahaha?
Michelle
December 24, 2013 at 9:53 am
Does it really work if you have a child together. Me and him broke up 20 months ago and still were having casual sex but I didn’t know he had a girlfriend because he never told me. Basically just having sex since we have a daughter and the sexual chemistry is still there. Him and girl broke up and we decided to take things slow but now he’s back with the ex after me because she did the 30 day no contact rule. He isn’t in love with her but just wants her due to the fact they argue less. He claims he still loves me and we have to be around each other for the sake of our daughter so how should I go around doing that? I still love him but the main reason I want to work things out is due to the fact of our 13 month old daughter. He broke up with me last night but Christmas is right around the corner and we were still going to see his parents for Christmas with our daughter so how should I go around doing that?
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:34 pm
You usually want to do Limited Contact and sleeping with him probably isn’t the best idea.
Michelle
December 24, 2013 at 8:01 pm
Would me getting another boyfriend make things worse? I’ve been single the entire time we’ve been split up but am tempted to get someone just to get over him.
admin
December 26, 2013 at 5:35 pm
It might.
The question you have to ask yourself is if your ex is worth all this effort.
Michelle
December 25, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Also he’s already contacted me 3 times in one day. Didn’t reply except the merry christmas. All I said was U 2 just because he wants to come around our daughter for Christmas. How should I handle that because he still wants to take me to his mothers for Christmas. Really don’t want to go but his mother has been wanting to see me for a while.
admin
December 26, 2013 at 6:01 pm
I say go to the mothers… But do it for you.
sophia
December 24, 2013 at 3:25 am
Hi Chris,
I’m implementing the NC rule. While I’m doing it should I delete him from my instagram? Or delete my instagram all together?
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:14 pm
Nope not at all.
cheena
December 24, 2013 at 2:00 am
We’re friends in Facebook. Do I have to unfriend him as part of the No Contact Rule?
admin
December 24, 2013 at 6:44 pm
No you don’t
Hettie
December 24, 2013 at 1:44 am
I am currently in week 2 of nc and was wondering what I should do over Christmas and New Years? Should I stay in nc or could I wish him a Happy Christmas/New Years? It could initiate a conversation which I think could be too early.
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:09 pm
Nope I wouldn’t break it.
Monica
December 24, 2013 at 12:04 am
Hi Chris! Just discovered you today, actually.
My boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me a little of a week and a half ago (we’d had a HUGE fight the night before, and it was about a problem I had been struggling to work on and gave us some issues in the past). It was a few days before my birthday (12/19), and I had a terrible breakdown that day and asked to hang out with him. He accepted, and we hung out for hours, he treated me like we hadn’t broken up, we kissed, he told me he loved me – basically he tried to make sure I didn’t have a shitty birthday even though I’d spent the vast majority of the day crying and the each of us trying to get the other to understand where we were coming from. Anyways, after that it’s been downhill, my understanding from my birthday was that I was going to back off, but show him that I genuinely was actively trying to resolve my issues, but we’d keep in contact. I have cut back in contact, but I could probably have done better.
Cut to yesterday night, I texted him asking if I could just rant to him then called him. He didn’t answer, I called again a few hours later and did the blubbering and royally pissed him off (and I think I’ve been a mild text gnat – I’ve been doing a lot of reading today). He said goodbye angry, and I went to sleep upset.
Now, I have read about NC, and I haven’t spoken to him at all today, but I have two questions regarding it. Should I apologize for my weak moment last night so I don’t go through NC on a bad note?
And my second is should I just skip the Merry Christmas/Happy New Years texts? (he’d also said he’d strongly consider being my NYE kiss the day after my birthday; I think that’s out the window now, so I’m probably not going to bring that up again)
Should I do one and not the other? Both? None? Oh, the uncertainty!
Thank you, though
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:06 pm
Nope you just go right into it.
And yes you should but I am betting he sends you one regardless.
Monica
December 31, 2013 at 2:53 am
New issue. My ex’s sister-in-law said she wanted to go out to eat sometime next week. I honestly have no idea how he’d react to this. I’m only on day 2 of my now restarted NC. I don’t want to say no to her because I don’t want to alienate her, but I also do NOT want to mess this whole NC up. What do you think would be my best course of action?
Monica
January 2, 2014 at 5:48 pm
I just realized, I guess I should add that she’s never really asked to hang out and chat before sooo I’m guessing, besides all of the “how’s the husband, how were your holidays, tell me what you’ve been up to”, a large topic would be “so how are you doing Monica?”
Monica
December 24, 2013 at 1:43 am
In addition, just scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook, I already see him liking pictures of gorgeous girls he knows and them trying to get in touch with him and vice versa… What does that mean?
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:10 pm
It means he is a guy and has eyes and is using girls to fill the void in his heart that you left.
Nama
December 23, 2013 at 11:08 pm
Great site u have there. N I do believe in everything u write. U are gifted.
By the way I’m Nama From Africa. I’m 25 he is 22. We attend the same college and we are in the same class.
5 months ago when he said we need to talk I saw it coming..
He said he couldn’t do it any longer and that he is not ready. It hit me soo bad as he kept on talking and talking.
I’ve got my share of guys as a lot of guys were chasing me even when I was with him n I saw seeing some other guy. but I called everything off when I got serious with him.
The reason for his break up came when we were suppose to go for a retreat together and I changed my mind that I was visiting a friend in another state. and was gona stay at a friends… A guy who is interested in me. He forbid me to go.. which got me pissed and I decided not to go anyways but when he called me during those days I didn’t mind him so he thought I left so he went to church.
He broke up with me when he got back because he said he is nt ready blah blah n he can’t sin and fornicate anymore n he is sorry. It is then that I told him I didn’t travel to the other state well it was late. He wanted is to be friends I tried but couldn’t.
I’ve spent months getting him back begging and all. But nothing seems to be working and every time he says he loves that he is a free guy and all. He hardly visit because he doesn’t trust himself around me. along the way we made out and he felt bad after n drove him further away. He cals from tym to tym and chat with me sometime.
what do I do. It’s hard. I want him back.
ps we are in the same class in school.
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Hmm…
Are you doing no contact?
Nama
December 24, 2013 at 7:50 pm
No I’m not doing no contact.
I try somtyms but I stop along the way.
It’s really difficult. being in the same class with him.
Do I start n what do I do when I see him. N whn he wana chat on whatsapp n all.
admin
December 26, 2013 at 5:34 pm
I would recommend doing limited contact b/c you are kind of forced to see him at school.
Nama
December 27, 2013 at 10:32 pm
How long should the limited no contact be?
I’ve started the no contact. started on the 25th. since we are on vacation I don’t get to see him.
He called me on Xmas day n texted me to wish me a merry xmas but I didn’t pick up. and the next day 26th which was my birthday he called several times but I didn’t mind him. He texted to ask me what was goin on and why im not picking his call. N later said: ” fine I wil let you be”. I said nothing since I’m doin NC.
I hope I did the right thing.
admin
December 28, 2013 at 7:25 pm
30 days.
Nama
December 29, 2013 at 7:53 am
Today is the 4th day. hez been calling n texting. worried abt me. wht do I do.
Mindy
December 23, 2013 at 9:33 pm
My ex has somehow managed to call me over 100 times. Finally he texted that he left some things at our house. All that he left was a shirt and some unmatched socks. Would it be an exception to the rule to tell him that he didn’t leave anything significant here? Since apparently he wants his belongings back so badly?
admin
December 24, 2013 at 6:49 pm
Yes I think that would be ok.
Confusedchick
December 23, 2013 at 7:36 pm
Me and my bf have dated for over 3 years. We obviously have had some rough times. Both of us are to blame. We got into a fight recently and my boyfriend has just had enough. He said he made his decision and we are absolutely done. (although we’re not broken up yet). He tells me he wants to sell the house and that he loves me but is not in love with me anymore. He feels that right now (being in his 20’s) he wants to hang with his guy friends and have sex with other women. Honesty is great…but was that ever hurtful. We live together and unfortunately work in the same building. I tried NC for 2 days. It went VERY well. And then he started nagging me with questions. I felt bad and gave in. Now I have to start the 30 day NC over. I’ve been sleeping on the couch the last 2 nights and he doesn’t seem to care. The thing that bothers me is that we live together, so it’s not like I can cut him out completely. I know if he initiates “important” questions, I can keep the answer short and sweet. But I am still in love and I want to work on this. Is it possible that he could change his mind WHILE we’re living together (that he still wants this)? I find it amusing that an hour after I was begging for him (which I know I shouldn’t have done) I pulled the NC rule…he looked at me confused and said, “maybe we can talk about some things to help the relationship.” But it was too fresh and I said “no, don’t make irrational decisions.” But anyway, screwed up and I’m back to square 1. It seems like he’s forgetting about talking about things to help the relationship now. I guess it’s different when you live with the person. It’s my house too, so I cannot leave. All I can do is stay as busy as possible and away from him as much as possible. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Deep down I’m heartbroken but I feel stronger when I don’t nag him to work on this.
admin
December 24, 2013 at 6:48 pm
Well, completing a NC for 2 days vs 30 days is verrry different.
Confusedchick
December 29, 2013 at 6:06 pm
I started over and I’m on day 7 now. I have been staying at friends’ houses since I started this. He has not contacted me at all. I wonder if now he doesn’t care at all about me OR he’s too prideful to speak to me now since he’s the one who wanted to break up in the first place, and maybe he does want us to be together….because it’s been 7 days and his fb says that we’re still in a relationship. Wouldn’t he have changed it by now?
Thanks 🙂
Danny
December 23, 2013 at 6:35 am
Does this work for getting my ex girlfriend back? We dated for almost 4 years. When I was 15-19 years old. We recently broke up. She broke up with me. So let me explain the start of our relationship. It was a summer romance and it ended in the 2 months of summer. I did the No Contact rule, she decided to date another guy weeks later. I decided to stay single and kick it with friends. So through august to october I did not talk to her. I saw her occasionally at school but hardly made eye contact. Her friends were the ones who told me she missed me but was thinking I hated her for breaking it off with me only because she wanted to be alone. Now she broke up with her short relationship boyfriend to get back with me. This was the year 2010.
We then went back out and over the 3.5 years we did everything together. Went through each other’s proms. Spent family vacations and trips. My family helped her out always. Her family loved me and my family loved her. She was my best friend we had everything in common. I loved her just the way she was. We even had an unborn baby together when I graduated and she was still a senior in high school. We talked about getting married together, I gave her a promise ring. Now fast forward to college. She would get annoyed with me doing other things while she was with me. So I tried my best to focus on her and instead of doing other things.
It wasn’t until I caught her cheating on me. I saw a picture of her hickey. Confronted her about it, met in person. She of course broke up with me. Telling me she thinks its good that way I can grow up. She also said she warned me about a break up because she was getting tired. I just did not think it would end this way. She cheated on me with not just any random guy. It was her childhood old best friend. He was her best friend all through elementary and middle school. She told me she had hanged out with in person to comfort him as he broke up with his ex girlfriend who was with him for I’m guessing a long time. I guess they just clicked. During when she was breaking up with me she was telling me that we need a break to be by ourselves before we try again on the relationship. She told me this guy was just a “thing”. I left her house in tears about the break up. Next day I see on the cheater’s social network saying “how do I deserve such a class ass women, you are all mine forever”. I confronted her about lying to me about wanting a break and to be alone. She told me she does like this guy and that she won’t date him right away. I have so much hate but I would rather see things positively. I tried to actually kill myself and the cops had talk to me and took me to a hospital to get checked. She told me she still loves me but not the way I feelings for her. She is also boxing up all my old stuff I gave her. You guys think we have another chance if I leave her alone? We have a lawyer on a case about a car accident we had 2 months ago. She wants me to send a hospital bill to the lawyer so she gets compensated back. I’m being civil about it and will send out the bill. She is also going to have to come by during the christmas week to get a present my dad and sister had gotten for her. My ex is only 18 and I am 19. She was my high school sweetheart & best friend. When I left the hospital I was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder. I do feel depressed.
You guys think she is just too young and doesn’t know what she wants? If she is willing to waste all these years with me over her old best friend from her pre teen and under years? She has never cheated on me before. This guy knew the words to say when she was already feeling down because I guess she was getting tired. Is this guy just a rebound? He actually thinks he is getting married to her one day. I am guessing she thinks the same since she won’t tell me anything. You guys think this is not going to happen? Really would like to use the NC rule to try to get her to miss me like before. If I was able to make her miss me in the past after a summer romance. I think almost 4 years will take a bigger effect. She went to sleepover my mom’s house with my sister recently this start of the year. I live up near northern california while my mom lives in Los Angeles. So she and my sister went to go sleepover there and go to disneyland. I am pretty sure she will miss me. Her family always brought me up during our summer romance ended so her family must accidentally bring up me if we stayed for so long. Also her mom was together with her step dad for a few years. I was there for it all, and watched my ex’s young sister grow up, shes now in kindergarten. Her mom filed divorce with her husband and moved to the next city close to me. After high school she moved 30 mins away from me. We went to the same college and took a class together for the fall 2013 semester which just ended a week ago. We still had our regular sleepovers. Maybe the distance had a role as well as her mother’s divorce. I would actually work out our issues with this girl. I am enjoying writing this all out. It helps me feel better. I just don’t what to think.
Sorry if I wrote so long but I just wanted everyone to know the life story before they answered my question.
You think I still have a chance?
admin
December 23, 2013 at 8:20 pm
Next year 2014 I am creating a site like this just for men and their gfs. I can’t wait to get started but I would say the information here kind of applies to men with a few differences.
Kelly
December 22, 2013 at 9:14 pm
Hey! What if my ex boyfriend doesn’t contact me during my NC? I know for sure I’m going to do things to work on myself but I’m also fearful he won’t find a way to reach out to me. (Tomorrow was gonna be 2 years & he still has my friends and I on fb and I have his friends on fb I’m close with some of them still) I’m not gonna reply to him even if he contacts me during NC but I’ve read ur articles and would hope he contacts me. We were great together our families got along and we were happy most of the time I just want him back but I KNOW I have to stick to the NC. Today is day 3. Thanks for your advice in advance!
admin
December 23, 2013 at 7:55 pm
It won’t be the end of the world b/c I recommend contacting an ex AFTER NC!
Kelly
December 24, 2013 at 2:13 pm
Thanks for the great advice! My ex boyfriend contacted me late last night I’m not ready to open the message but it starts off with “I understand it’s difficult to move on…” I don’t wanna reply or open it yet and I think this is best right now. Maybe him having messaged me means he doesn’t hate me and he cares bout my feelings a bit??
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:37 pm
Hahah it looks that way.
Kelly
December 22, 2013 at 9:15 pm
Today is day 3 of NC. It’s been 3 weeks since our breakup. 🙁
admin
December 23, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Ok, well you still have quite a bit of time left before the NC is completed. Just keep the focus on getting through thtat right now.
Kelly
December 23, 2013 at 2:27 am
Ps. My ex boyfriends best friend told me he hasn’t talked about me much or of working things out. I’m still talking to him right now , I know it’s too soon and hopefully tomorrow he thinks of me and with time things will work out for the best
Kristine
December 22, 2013 at 11:51 am
Posted on here about this one earlier. I will apologize ahead for its length. My ex was texting everyday last week, I was in No Contact. And I will admit to breaking NC a couple times during that, because he was so persistent with his texting. Then on Friday I received a text from him that really struck a chord with me, him thanking me for something I did for him. For some reason, it just hit me like it was him still there reaching out to me. So I thought, hey, maybe I know better and I should respond because this program doesn’t know “us”. Anyway, I responded. And we had a few texts during the day.
Then later that night he texted me again asking me how my day was. And I bit and I responded. More texts back and forth and next thing you know he is talking about how wonderful we were together. And not meaning together as a couple but together in bed. And we truly were, sometimes you just really, really click with someone that way. And we did very well in that dept. What I should mention also, is that we broke up 7 weeks ago, he started a relationship a week later with a girl he is seeing now. So my ex starts talking about places we have been and how great it was, and how he thinks about me all the time, meaning he thinks about how good I was in bed. I got a little cool at this point and reminded him that he has someone new to take care of that part of his life. He started telling me how it isn’t the same, that no one will ever be the same as it was with me. So, I am thinking, okay…I wasn’t good enough to be your girlfriend any longer but the girlfriend you have right now isn’t good enough in bed for you? Wow, what a dick move. He then sent a text about how he thinks about us meeting at the place we used to meet and then being together. I told him that if he was just using this as a fantasy that I will not play along…I am not a fantasy. Jeez, I was the woman who actually was that fantasy and was damn good to him. At this point I called him on the phone. And I asked him what it was he was doing? And he tried to explain himself that he loved me and missed me, and he knows that all of this was his choice. But..and this is a big but. He isn’t ready to change anything in his life right now. So, he loves me, misses me, but he wants to stay with this more local girl. Yet he still thinks about me all the time in the biblical sense. Awesome. How great for my ego. Not so much. I then told him that I would not help him be his current fantasy and make whatever it is that is lacking in his life easier for him. That there is no way I was going to actively help him through whatever it is he is not getting with this new girl. I mean really??? I told him I didn’t deserve that and that I was so much better than all of that. I then kind of went into a rant about how he chose this, he wanted to be with someone logistically closer and not deal with the 4 hour distance. He wanted all of this, he wanted the easier, and quite possibly the route that simply settles. So, he cries a little and tells me he is sorry, then he tells me he loves me and how wrong he was. I did tell him I loved him, then told him to have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I also think I put a dig out there that he had really blown it because he could have and did have so much with me, and one day he will see that. Okay, done, over. I expect nothing. Figure I am going back in to NC, not necessarily to get him back, but to really figure out what I want. Was actually feeling good about it, because I knew he wouldn’t text me again. Well, don’t ya know? He texted me in the middle of last night and I just saw it. And the text sucked. Says to me that I am “too nice” because I didn’t come right out and say I don’t deserve his shit. Just for the record, being told you are too nice, is kind of insulting, because it make me feel like a doormat. It made me feel worse. he admitted to me that I was 100% right and that his “agenda was 100% self serving, selfish, and misguided”. His “agenda”? Told me again I don’t deserve his shit and that he has to leave me alone. Then proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t want me to respond to his text because he feels this is a good place to stop all of this. Then he wishes me a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And then tells me he will always love me I am furious right now, I feel like he turned the tables on me. I was the one who told him that I needed him to stop and then he sends me this text? Honestly, I want to respond and say terrible things, but I will not. It will defeat the purpose of NC, for me. Because at this very moment I don’t even know if I will want to contact him again, I really need to figure out what I want for me.
Moral to this story, do not break minimum 30 day NC. Not just because you want your ex back, but because you need the perspective for yourself as to what you really want for yourself.
admin
December 22, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Hahaha I like the moral to your story! Sounds a lot like what I have been trying to tell people for this entire year.
Kristine
December 22, 2013 at 11:15 pm
I know. You are right. Stay in No Contact. I am not quite as angry as I was this morning. Feeling better, actually feeling a little sorry for my ex because truthfully I think he is more confused than I am and I understand that where he is a rebound. Even if he doesn’t understand it. I am just going to continue NC and see where I am at the end of it. I am sure I will reach out again at that time, but I do know that I will not respond to him if he does to me. But really? Any thoughtful insight as to why he felt the need to send that text? Making it turn and seem like it was his idea? Because it really wasn’t.
admin
December 23, 2013 at 8:02 pm
I agree with you rdecision to reevaluate things after NC.
Kristine
December 23, 2013 at 10:23 am
That wasn’t terribly clear earlier. While I will reach out to him after NC, I will not respond to him if he reaches out to me DURING NC. I really don’t know if he will or not, I certainly didn’t expect that last text from him. So, I have no idea any longer. I think my biggest thing here is, and maybe I am spending too much time analyzing it, is that I wonder why he felt the need to send that text at all. It just felt strange to me, and honestly I have this gut feeling that he was kind of expecting me to respond back to it. And I didn’t.
admin
December 23, 2013 at 8:22 pm
Well, that actually may work in your favor.
Caitlin
December 22, 2013 at 6:11 am
Hi Chris. Great website!
So did I mess up badly enough to make me have to start again? I accidentally sent a snapchat to my ex and other people of a video of me making fun of my mom doing something stupid.
I’m really annoyed because I’m doing totally fine and am really bettering myself. I ignored a text from my ex earlier today, and felt good about it. Also when I started doing no contact 6 days ago, my ex and I were on good terms. Like I wasn’t in hysterical crazy can’t accept the breakup mode. So the anticipation that I’ll text him was not a part of him.
So should I start over or does it matter?
admin
December 22, 2013 at 7:48 pm
No its not bad at all.
Just tack on an extra week and you should be ok.
Caitlin
December 22, 2013 at 7:07 am
Ok I’m so confused…he deleted me on snapchat and I don’t know why…It was a video of me making a disgusting face listening to my mom sing. I try to fiddle around with it and block and unblock him and mess around with the settings and then I give up. Later I check it and he views it and then I see he deleted me from his friends list…can you see if someone has blocked or unblocked you? Idk maybe he unfriended me because I was fiddling around with that but I don’t think you can see. But honestly we haven’t had anything bad happen. Like I was on good terms with him when I started reading these. And I’ve ignored all texts from him since the start of it. He’s only sent me texts with like general questions, so he thinks we’re friends and I’m just being a jerk and ignoring him I’m assuming.
Am I thinking too much into it? What should I think of this? Should I start over with NC or ignore it? It’s pretty drastic to defriend someone on snapchat.
admin
December 22, 2013 at 7:53 pm
Start over with NC!
Caitlin
December 22, 2013 at 7:08 am
whoops…it sent it twice by accident
AB
December 22, 2013 at 5:44 am
We broke up but we still talk and skype with each other. I and my boyfriend were in long distance relationship of 1 year and 8 months. We had made plans for the future and I will be going to his country next year and live together with him there. But we broke up a week ago, he can’t accept my insecurity anymore. I admit, I failed many times to trust him, I asked him where he is going or who he is with etc, like accusing him cheating, which in fact he is very trustworthy! He showed it, he could understand when I feel insecure.
Last week he was fed up by what I did, he said that we are already more than 1 year together but I still can’t trust him. I know what I did to him last time was very rude. I do want to change, I want to get over this trust issue because I want to work for this relationship, I love him. I feel afraid if he is not around and I don’t receive his text or call then I will think something negative about him.
He asked to take a break. It was my wake up call. The break was short, only 2 days. In those 2 days, I try to build trust for him. But the next day he asked to break up. He decided to gave up. He said he still loves me but he don’t believe I can change, he wanted to stop this before we live together. First I don’t want to accept his decision because I love him, I love our relationship and I know I can change. He wished that I could find a man who understands me better. I disagree because NO man will like to see his woman not trusting him. It is not about finding a better man, it’s all about how to be a better me, to be more understanding, not to be demanding and trusting the significant other. I really want him back because I still feel our love is strong. We survived the distance and time difference.
Only 3 days after we broke up we talked on skype again, but this time we didn’t talk about our relationship, instead about our days, what we have been doing etc. He said he will call me on Christmas. He has this phobia, he is scared of fireworks sound. He hates new year eve. Last year, we skyped together in new year eve and I comforted him when the fireworks started. I learned how it bugs him with the fireworks. This year I asked him again if he wants me to skype with me, do something on skype hopefully he will not be distracted by the fireworks sound. He said he would like to do so. Is this healthy? Does he still love me? I heard about the no contact rule and I should do it in order to get him back. I don’t know what to do, should I stay away from him? I love him and I want our relationship to be restored. Do I need to take time to develop myself? Can I ask him to start all over again this new year eve?
Thank you for your help.
admin
December 22, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Well, if you are going to do NC you are going to have to quite skyping.
dilemma!
December 21, 2013 at 2:00 am
me and ex broke up 9 days ago after 3 months of dating. we had a big 4 day break up with me crying to him because he cheated on me throughout our relationship and was basically calling another girl his girlfriend also. i promised myself i would never talk to him again and even told him i’m cutting off all contact with him however my mind has been so crazy as he is the first guy i have ever loved! i have blocked him on facebook yet i keep checking his posts, wishing for him to check up on me. I was going through something before we broke up which he involved him and i posted on facebook that i was upset about it ( not with him or the breakup but what i was going through). I needed to talk to him about it and as well doing so i needed closure. i then broke the no contact rule on day 8 and basically discussed the situation with him. the convo led on to me asking him if he misses me, which he said yes and he said he loves me and i also admitted that i miss him and love him too but because he cheated and the things I found out during the breakup i said he was a mean person, which he took to heart very much. I let him know what he did to me, how he threw everything i did for him back in my face and how i felt. He is now still talking and seeing the girl that he cheated on me with throughout the majority of our relationship. I guessed he stopped liking me because someone new and much prettier came along.. He took interest in a new thing and stopped liking me more and more each day (he said he loves me but doesn’t like me anymore. what does this mean??)
I regretted breaking NC so much! He texted me today about the situation which i replied but after a while i stopped replying. He even sent me 2 more texts which i didnt reply to. I plan to stop posting depressing statuses, stop checking his facebook and just move on with my life, however he lives very close to me and we are bound to see each other at least once a fortnight, which my plan is to just ignore him and carry on walking even if he says hi… or is that a bad idea? I am now back to day 1 of NC. I do want him to miss me but has contacting him and telling him that i miss him and still love him ruined my chances? especially as he is seeing he girl he cheated on me with?
dilemma!
December 22, 2013 at 10:12 pm
sigh
Molly
December 21, 2013 at 1:02 am
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago, I’m not sure why… he didn’t really give much of an explanation.. I was texting a lot the next few days and he did not answer once so I went into NC. A week into NC he texts me asking my opinion on a teacher I had this semester. I ignored it. My friend saw him at the bar last night and he was drunk and told her he missed me and it was weird not talking. I miss him alot and feel a void from not having him around.. Ever since she said this i’ve been feeling an urge to reach out to him.. Do you recommend I just stick it out with the full 30 days?
Jade
December 20, 2013 at 9:10 pm
my boyfriend of 14 years just ended things I was in the 5 day of NC and i caved now i find myself hurting more then before and doing all the things not to do, he tells me he loves me and hes here for me he just cant be with me right now and maybe we should start from friends again but 14 years and one child i dont think we can be just friends NC is very VERY hard for me cause all i want is him. now i find myself making appointments just to be with him………When does the pain stop All the things u say and all the things i read it sounds so good but when the other person has every part of you down to ur very core of beeing then what do you do?? how do you just turn it off and say We cant talk when thats all i wanna do
Jacqueline
December 20, 2013 at 3:26 pm
this guy tried so hard to get me date him back then, but I wasn’t interested. He still would bring it up at every convo we had. once I ask him if he still likes me, he denies and started throwing temper tantrums every time we spoke, sometimes even completely ignoring what I have to say. After a huge fight, he comes back and apologizes but never texted for almost a week now. I think I am slowly falling for him but not sure. Is he still interested in me? Is it worth making an effort for him from my side?
admin
December 21, 2013 at 3:51 am
Sounds like he is one of those guys that is obsessed with chasing.
Jacqueline
December 21, 2013 at 3:58 pm
Does it mean he is still interested in me? If yes, how do I get him interested again? coz I donr even know for sure i he is single. He denies to answer that question no matter how funny I am!
Jacqueline
December 31, 2013 at 4:52 pm
Hi,
I have been practicing the NC rule for two weeks now and I feel he has moved on. He never tried to contact me. What should I do to get him chase after me again? It started bothering me that he might actually want to get rid of me and rebound to another girl.
Isabella
December 19, 2013 at 1:02 pm
My ex broke up with me 11 days ago, I text him about 5 times the next two days and gave up when he wouldn’t answer. He text me yesterday after a week of NC just to tell me something completely random about a friend.. I ignored, uploaded a new picture on facebook, and 5 min later he deletes me off his friends.. Does he hate me and want nothing to do with me? I’m dying to text and ask why but I know I should stay NC
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:47 pm
No he is just going through the emotions of a breakup like you are.
confuseddguyy
December 19, 2013 at 6:22 am
Dude I know this website is for girls tryna get their ex guy back but..I’m really confused right now and was wondering if you could help me.I’ve only done just 3 days of the NC rule…and my ex is texting me like crazy..but the texts she’s sending are quite unexpected and disrepectful…she said if I don’t reply she’ll delete me then I didn’t then she said “oh I guess you don’t wanna be friends:)”…what I’m I suppoosed to do man?I don’t wanna be friends, I wanna be her boyfriend.
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:35 pm
She is emotional…
Are you doing the nc rule right now?