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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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Brianna
February 6, 2014 at 12:25 am
Okay, so my break up happened 3 years ago. Really awkward, I know.
Yesterday, I ran into my ex and after having a friend of mine talk to him (while I was getting something from my car) she told me how he was excited to see me and stuff.
I was super happy about that!
We had a good 2 year run, and because of him I started realizing how I can make myself a better person.
He was busy and ran off, so I never got more information besides what my friend told me; I still have his number because I never really bothered to delete it from my phone.
I never actually got to have a conversation with him minus a quick “Hi.” I’m not sure if he has my number or not still and I’d rather not creep him out by texting or calling.
He is rather attractive so it wouldn’t surprised me if he had a girlfriend right now but I just want to get back on that close friend relationship and work my way up from there.
I’m not a nervous person or anything but whenever I’m around him I get flustered because it’s been a long time and we didn’t keep in contact.
Any tips or advice?
admin
February 6, 2014 at 5:44 pm
Work on not getting so flustered I guess. Are you trying to get him back?
Rachel
February 4, 2014 at 8:49 pm
I’m in a bit of an awkward situation… I only went out with this guy for a short time, (and I made a ton of mistakes…) but I really wanted to at least be able to have a normal conversation with him again.
He started seeing someone else (not a rebound) shortly after we parted ways. I went into no contact for 3 months, mainly in order to get my own head straight. I was thinking of sending him a casual message soon, but I had this funny feeling today… and found out that he’d suddenly removed me from facebook.
It must have been fairly recent, as he was still appearing on one of my other friend’s pages as a ‘mutual friend’ less than a week ago. The only thing that had changed on my side was that my friends posted more pics of me than usual (because we were at a lot of the same parties). I never checked his fb during NC, so cant say for sure how serious he was with his new girlfriend, or if she is why he cut contact.
I can’t really contact him straight after he deleted me (and I’m not sure if I should even contact him at all now), so I’m kinda at a loss atm. Halp!
admin
February 5, 2014 at 6:37 pm
Do you have any way of contacting him?
Rachel
February 7, 2014 at 10:06 am
Maybe. I have his old email, and I don’t think he blocked me on fb, just unfriended.
Not sure how much time I should leave it before contacting, or what way I should do so.
Aline
February 4, 2014 at 2:19 am
Ok I will try to explain it fast because I really need your advice and I don’t want to make it boring.
We know each other since six years ago, we were very best friends and we talk a lot since we met. Three years ago we realized we really love each other and started being “lovers” and best friends. We had the best, we were very happy and never fighted, not even once cause we knew how to solve problems. We lasted almost three years together until I decided to break up because I took a impulsive decision based on small period were I felt we started going down. (He told me he had a big crush with one of his friends and I tried to get over that but it made me feel awful, since that he tried very hard to make me feel better but I felt insecure about our love š )
We never stopped talking even when he was trying to recover me the whole last year. We just kept contact like before but didn’t kissed or anything at all.
The thing is that I feel better now and I want to share my life and be her girlfriend again but when I told him so, he told me he loves me a lot, but the whole last year was so difficult to him that he decided two months ago he needed to start moving on and just accept me as his best friend and no more. He started a new relationship with a girl from his college and wants to continue moving on.
I know it’s all my fault but the year we were apart was so difficult to me on so many things to me (school, my mom’s death) that I decided to get myself better in order to avoid hurting him. I love him. And we had so much together that I know I want him back in my life so much.
Yesterday I told him all my feelings and he told me he don’t want to be lovers again. He told he still love me and feels things for me, but its been rough the last year and we need to move on. I know this may be all my fault but I really want to fight at least one more time for him.
Please help me
Sorry about my English but I’m French š
admin
February 4, 2014 at 5:44 pm
Well, have you attempted the NC yet?
Aline
February 5, 2014 at 4:03 am
No, and today is his birthday, I bought a present and I think I should give it to him and start the NC. What do you think?
Aimee
February 4, 2014 at 1:25 am
Hey Chris!
My ex and I have been broken up since December 2011. So over two years now. For almost the entire two years we have had NC. We had a really bad break up; at some point, we both thought it was going to last forever. Needless to say it obviously didnt. We both have been in relationships since the break up. I did end up getting pregnant with the only boyfriend I have had since my ex and I broke up. So needless to say my situation is a little more complicated due to my baby. Well we (my ex and I) recently started talking again. And have even hung out quite a few times. I have noticed my feelings for him have gotten stronger. I find myself missing the good times we used to have. He was honestly the first guy I ever truly loved and I know he felt the same about me. I miss the the things we used to do for each other. I guess my question for you is, how do I explain to him how I feel? He does not have a girlfriend, but I do think he is talking to another girl. We were friends before we ever started dating, and we are friends again. I dont want to ruin that, but I do want him to know how I feel. What should I do? What am I doing right? Wrong? Thank you so much, Aimee
admin
February 4, 2014 at 5:41 pm
Well, things change when you date someone… It is really hard to go back to being just friends.
Aimee
February 4, 2014 at 11:53 pm
Exactly. So do you suggest I keep my feelings to myself for the time being? Or do I just be honest with him and tell him how I feel?
Bernice
January 29, 2014 at 12:04 pm
So, I have done my part with the “no contact rule” for over two years. and then…BOOM, right at me I got a text from him wanting to see his son.
I love him and would really want to start my life over with him, Iāve been following your steps, your advice, but assuming how he feels and what he texts back makes it so difficult.
Some days he wants me, so badly, and then other he just doesnāt.
He has a girlfriend, have been dating for over a year, but has never been happy with her, or so he claims.
Your advice???
Jenny
January 28, 2014 at 10:57 pm
My boyfriend and I have been broken up with for about a year now since New Years day of 2013. The break up itself to me at least was out of the blue since my boyfriend and I always had such a strong love connection (we were both each others first loves. I had dated a few before him but I don’t really even consider them exe’s since we didn’t go on real dates, and I was his very first girlfriend.) We only lasted 8 months. I think the real reason behind the breakup was his “honeymoon stage” feelings were failing and mine weren’t. It was beginning to be really hard for me when he wouldn’t tell me the things that he always used to, or text me when he woke up and such. For the last 8 months of our relationship, we were almost inseparable. We’d text all day, call at night, hangout with each other as much as we could, and most importantly we never fought.
That’s why when we started going through our rough spot in December I was so surprised that his feelings for me would just… vanish. He told me that he didn’t love me anymore, which hurt worse then anything Iāve ever felt before. I was so hurt by it that I just gave up all hope that he didn’t really mean it because I though that he did. And I didn’t want to be trying to get someone back that did not love me the way I still did. He told me he still wanted to be friends and I said yeah that’s okay. I began researching how to get over someone who doesn’t love you anymore and found a ton on NC and I told myself that’d be the best, so my last text to him was saying “fine Iām done, but I need time away from not contacting you until I can get completely get over you and when I do Iāll text you and we can be friends again” And he was surprised about it but agreed. And I never contacted him again because I just didn’t want to get caught up with those feelings again. For the whole year we’ve been broken up my friends and I agreed that staying away from him and the church community where I met him would be the best because of all the memories; they would remind me about him and I just wanted to get over them. Everyone says that time can heal a broken heart, and I agree on the most part. The pain I had slowly grew less and less until I realized if I wasnāt reminded about those 8 months I was happy about finding someone new. In my search to get over him, I truly looked into myself and found who I really wanted to be and want I truly wanted to look like, I redid my whole room, I decided to change my hair color (I had short blond with pink) to dark brown and added extensions to add 20ā to my hair. I got into shape, lost 12lbs and found out what I really wanted to do for a career and where I want to go for college. The break up has really been a positive thing for me; everyone around me believes Iām truly happy. But thereās still one problemā¦ I still love him no matter what anyone tryās to tell me. It tears me up inside. I daydream about him, I always wonder what heās been going through as well over the last year. He and I have a mutual friend, whoās been his friend for his whole life but weāve been good buds for some time. When we hang out, Erik, my ex usually pops up in the conversation. After we broke up he started chasing after this one girl but she rejected his affection and ever since then heās been single and what Rory our friend tells me, not looking for a new relationship. After three months of our breakup I posted a picture of myself with my new look and lifestyle, and three days after that my ex deleted me from Facebook. I freaked out, I had not done anything that would offend him, so from this gesture I just assumed he hated me and didnāt want to see my face. Though Rory believes that it was just because he didnāt want to see his ex, the girl that got away, looking brand new and fresh. I did not agree with that because I still believe that he doesnāt love me, doesnāt care, and doesnāt want anything to do with me.
Now the one of the reasons Iām finally, after a year and almost a month switching over to wanting him back is when Rory told me after I gave him some of Erikās old things that he was completely off guarded. Rory told me when he took the sweatshirt that he originally bought for me in the relationship he was flustered and looked sad, it had apparently shaken his mood for the rest of the day that they hung out for. Iām just amazed at how this whole time he could have still had feelings for me because we never once tried to get back together. We have both grown into more mature people since our past relationship and I strongly believe that we could try again. I care for him and still to this day love him, the fact that I still cant get over him, even after I went out with another guy, I truly believe we had something amazing, he was my bestfriend and I just want him back in my life. I read a ton of your articles and wanted to know what the best approach would be for me. Like I said I havenāt talked or contacted him since our break up of a year ago, I think itās because Iām a little scared to, but Iām putting faith in your website. Thanks for listening!! :]
Confused and torn
January 28, 2014 at 2:49 am
So me and my ex broke up exactly 11 months ago today. We’ve been in contact with each other but it’s like once in a while. A couple weeks ago I was in contact with my ex then went into NC for about 2 and a half weeks until last week Wednesday he texted me say “are you still single?” Just a little background of our relationship, we were together for about a little over 7 and a half years before breaking up last year in February. For about 9 months after we broke up I was doing whatever I could to get him back. The whole “I’m sorry” “I want you back” type of thing. Until I had enough and I told him that I’m not gonna fight for him especially when he’s going out with his friends meeting and getting girls numbers. So since then I’ve stopped being the desperate girl. But back to last week Wednesday. When he asked me if I was still single, I called him and I asked him why is he asking. Then he said he was just wondering and if I wanted to hang out with him that night. So I said yeah I’m still single and asked him if he’s still single and he said yeah. So that night I went over to his house and hung out. All night he was being intimate, meaning he grabbed me, was cuddling, holding, kissing and what not. Every time I would just be sitting down on the bed and he was lying down, he would pull me to lay next to him then he would hug me tight. Then just yesterday, we hung out again. He found out that I hooked up with another guy and I found out he kissed another girl. He wasn’t as intimate as Wednesday but I slept over his house last night. He would grab me to have me hug him and then he would yet again cuddle with me.
Now here’s where I need help. I do want him back but now since he found out I lied about hooking up with another guy, he playfully called me a liar and asked why I lied to him about it. I told him that I didn’t want him to know and it was a one time thing. I told him the whole story. Is he as confused as me? A females instinct tells me he wants to be with me but it’s the trust and his ego is keeping him from working things out with me and get back together. Does he it sound like he wants to get back together and is testing me? Or is he using me? For some odd reason something tells me (my gut feeling or call it a females intuition) that we will get back together again. Just not soon, sometime later this year. Can you help me?
admin
January 28, 2014 at 6:22 pm
Your gut huh. hahaha.
Well, I wish you had stuck to NC longer.
Confused and torn
January 28, 2014 at 8:26 pm
Do I just restart the NC again?
admin
January 29, 2014 at 6:43 pm
I think so yes.
Vanessa
January 26, 2014 at 3:38 am
I have been broken up for a year and a half. We never broke contact but all contact was negative. Constantly fighting. He stated he was dating or going to start dating through your the year. We did meet up a few times. 2 weeks ago he invited me on a trip. We went and had fun after the trip he wished me well and I haven’t talked to him since. I look the best I ever have. I just don’t know what to do, can you help? Or give advice.
mel
February 19, 2014 at 12:20 am
Hi I’ve been split from my ex for nearly a year he hasn’t seemed that nbothered I have chased him so much and said how I feel I’m besotted wiv him. I have slept wiv him twice in that time but he says he just wants to be friends and it will never work cause we split a few times before I hate it I’m really finding it hard and wished he would chase me I’ve left it months without texting and he never does its always me I just love him so much have I got any chance wiv him x
admin
January 27, 2014 at 7:03 pm
Hahah well, go NC thats a good start.
jamie
January 24, 2014 at 9:12 am
Hi Chris, i i need your advice… my best friend is going through a situation right now. She met a guy 10 months ago. They were getting along soo good. He called her and texted her 24/7 let me tell you he was the one blowing her cell phone up, when they first stated talking he told her that he was emotionally unavailable and said the reasons why, kinda personal. She still continued talking to him. After 2 or 3 weeks of talking he asked her out on a date. They ended up sleeping together, after that happened he didn’t contact her for 3 days, until she called him and asked him what was going on because she had never slept with a guy soo soon, anyways she called and told him if that’s all he wanted. His response was he was busy working because they changed his working schedule. After that he continued to blow her phone up again… Although, he started asking her to pretend they were both in a relationship, I’m thinking it was because he was starting to feel comfortable with her and showing her he was making an effort to open up. He once told her that he needed more of her time and attention. My best friend then started to feel the same way for him. After everything continued going so great, He told my best friend that his best friend confessed she had feelings for him. My best friend asked him if he had feelings for her, and he said no. So days went by and he told my best friend that his best friend was complaining how he would always talk about my best friend and didn’t really spend time with his best friend. That’s when my friend got pretty upset and straight up told him “why don’t you give her a chance?” and he said no. So they kept spending time with each other and getting more attached, and he kept asking her to pretend they were together but he wouldn’t commit. My friend and i had done some research on emotionally unavailable man because my friend was never involved with someone like that. So then she told him she was not looking for a relationship because she was afraid of scaring him away because of what me and her had read on the internet about emotionally unavailable men. She thought that maybe by saying that he would feel comfortable and open up a little. He started calling nicknames like love, my shorty and sexy. He told her that he loved her personality and she was amazing.( Don’t get me wrong but she is one of a kind) But one day he brought up his best friend again, and told my friend that his friend (a stripper) asked him out, my friend got very upset because she wanted him to commit to her. So then again my friend told him to give his friend a chance…. He reacted badly, and said “really really that’s the answer i’m gonna get from you? is that what you want me to do?” then my friend knowing that she should have never said that, things were not looking to good for her, because all she wanted was him. They both argued a little and she hung up the phone on him then tried calling him back but he didn’t answer. The next day he called her and said that him and his stripper friend had talked about giving each other a chance. My friend was very sad and tried to talk things through but he said that he had already talked to his friend and said “isn’t that what you wanted?” my friend said no but i guess he had his mind made up. Right after they stopped talking he applied N/C and blocked her number. About a week after they stopped talking she called him from my phone and talked to him and what he said to her was a bit harsh, he told her to stay out of his life (ouch!) after another week, i decided to call him and asked him was went wrong because my friend was very sad and she didn’t tell me exactly what was going on. (i was worried about her) and this is what he told me “we split up.. no wait we were never together, we just stopped talking.” That was the last time she and i heard from him. I’ts been 8 months since the last time me or my friend talked to him, but my friend still misses him a lot. She has not tried to contact him because she doesn’t know what his reaction might be. Fist of all do you think there was ever something real between them two? in my part i can almost be sure that there was something strong and real because i sometimes would hear some conversations (letting you know that me and my best friend are roommates) and they would both get along great and just the way that he would look at her does make me wounder, and since you are an expert i would like some advice if my friend should try to get him back. Thanks for taking your time.
admin
January 24, 2014 at 6:29 pm
Has any attempts been made to contact him since?
jamie
January 24, 2014 at 9:18 pm
No, She’s been wanting to but she said that she doesn’t know what his reaction might be since the last time he told her to stay out of his life.. i do think he got hurt maybe because the comment she made.
jamie
January 31, 2014 at 10:30 pm
What do you think she should do?
ruchita
January 19, 2014 at 5:28 am
hi my name is ruchita. me and my boyfriend broken up over a year now. i really love him alot. i dont know what went wrong between us. one day all of sudden he started fighting with me it continued almost for 3 months and he ended up with a break up. yesterday i called him up he heard my voice and disconnected the call. then i msgd him saying that pls forgive me if i hurted you. he replied forgiven and forgotten and said pls don’t call and msg me again.now you tell me how to get him back i was with him for 2 an half years.he said not to call him when we broke up with each other.so i dint call him for a year but i waited him to call me from his side he dint even called me from a year from the time we broke up.pls help
Anne smith
January 17, 2014 at 10:03 am
Dear Chris,
I’ve read every page on your website and I still have a question about my x relationship. I happen to contact my ex before I found this website.. I was on and off for my ex almost 9 years he was eight years older then me.. I met him when I was 18 and we broke up when I was 27. He was going through A rough stage in his life and no matter how many times he broke up with me I stood by his side ..his stages of his life were different . I Was just starting mine. We had an instant connection from day one I even left my high school sweetheart because as soon as I met this man I knew he was the one. He drove me crazy for years constantly breaking up with me before a wedding or a special holiday. But always came back to me and the most dramatic Romeo and Juliet way.. I never let my guard down and every time you broke up with me I never made any contact .. He proposed me six years into the relationship and a year later broke up with me yet again.. We got back together a year later bought a house together ..live together and then his attitude dramatically change for the positive. Two years living in the house was amazing I felt so alive again .. Believe me it was not perfect we had our ups and downs .. Are communication skills did develop but we both still had a lot of animosity and gave each other rudeness because of previous behaviors he acted to me. December 31 2009 was our last day together.. I realized he had a lot of growing up to do but I did too and I feel we could do that together I made a lot of changes in my life he made a lot of changes without you never saw those changes .. He broke up with me and did try to contact me for 3 to 4 months after a breakup but I completely blocked him from my entire life . It took me 18 months to get over over our relationship and I was ready to move on. I wrote him a letter and kept it in my pocket always wondering if I should of mailed it to him. In our relationship every time we broke up we communicated by letter ..we also use a leave each other little random notes in the house it was our little thing and it always made use smile. basically the letter said ” how much I care for him but I knew he had to grow up and for eight years I was a very dedicated old-school Italian housewife that put their man first and forgive all his mistakes.. I wasn’t perfect we argued and I made them feel jealous a lot. but I’m at peace now and I wishing the best of luck for his new life. ” I sadly was not able to give him the note because I had a accident at my job causing me to have a major brain injury and put me into two years worth of recovery. once I was completely healed I had this empty feeling in my soul that I just couldn’t get over. I’m a strong independent female and even though I have old-school values I feel women should come first and be able take care of themselves. then I started dreaming about my ex and my nephew randomly started asking around him after four years and I just couldn’t get him off my mind. anytime I felt sad I thought about him not about situations not about good or bad times . I just thought about his voice and how he used to hold me at night and it got me through. I just wanted to contact him and tell him I’m sorry for the way everything ended and I just want peace between us because I feel that’s the pit in my stomach. I love him with all my heart and I knew he was the one the day I met him .. It’s not that I cant live without him ,it’s not that my life would be destroyed with out him.. I felt so complete when I was in his presence and it’s very hard to have that feeling back. I decided to randomly contact him in December I sent him an email acting like I was clearing out my contacts I received no response.. He no longer has a Facebook but I found his best friend on Facebook and send iMessage saying “if he would be so kind to give my ex my number I need to ask him a few questions could you please give my x my phone number I lost his number a few phones ago ” I explained in the message that I had a head injury and I was out of the world for two years. I had some unfinished things I needed to take care of and I had asked me a few questions to complete these unfinished task.. ” On Facebook you can see when somebody read a message .. the friend read the message the following morning and I never received a response. So I Did what all crazy ex-girlfriend do. I print out my phone bill from the last time we talked and I sent him a text message. A simple text message saying “hi it’s me I have to ask you two quick questions when you get a chance give me a call”. immediately I received a text message back saying who is this I don’t recognize the number. I immediately thought I had the wrong number. I text back and said “may I ask who this is ? the Person responded saying “you text me first”. The person started calling my phone and left a voicemail message. I was so excited to know that this person left a voicemail message but I wanted to wait till after a dinner and have one of my friends listen with me just in case it was a message I didn’t want to hear .. To my surprise it was a message I did not want to hear . The message was from an angry wife that said stop calling and texting my husband! She kept repeating my husband over and over again and then said oh you can call him if you want. I replied with a text message saying “I appreciate your phone call back I’m just a friend from the past. I found the phone number in an old phone and I just had a quick question to ask him thank you for your time please have them call me in the morning.” . I received nothing after that text. I found it quite odd how this wife was so obsessed with calling my number back .. And my mind I was wondering why couldn’t my ex pick the phone up and why was she tracing all his phone calls .. my new fiancĆ© gets text messages all the time and I don’t screen any of his phone calls .. The Following morning I sent a text message saying “when you get a chance please give me a call” . Terry’s seen the text message that said “I have nothing to say to you ” then “I asked if I could ask him a question ?” . He said “if I call you will you stop texting me ?”I never answered to that text message . The person gave me a call.. Thinking it was his so-called wife I didn’t pick up. Then a text message came through that said “it’s me just pick up”.. We used to have such a spiritual connection . He used to call me his angel because anytime he didn’t feel well I would just put my hand on him and all his pain would go away . when I read that one text message I knew it was him and I was overwhelmed with joy. We talked for half an hour on the phone only to end our conversation On an odd note and we both kind of just hung up. I do what every strong female does I sent him text message immediately after hanging up with him “thanking him for his time and I’m happy that he was able to get married and MoveOn and I said have a nice life and I told him goodbye.” Immediately he sent me a message saying “good luck with your surgery and thank you for the positiveness”. We text back-and-forth a couple times and then I stop texting.. Last thing he sent me was a message that said “can’t we all just be happy and good luck” .. I never responded to this message.. I was not sad after hung up the phone I was not depressed all I felt was alive again . When I heard his voice I felt alive and pure again. It was the completion to my missing puzzle.. The deepest feeling of love you could ever feel for somebody .. I have never had with anybody else.. I never thought it would feel like that again . I assume when we spoke on the phone it would be at a better level but he kept answering all the questions I threw at him .. once I knew it was him texting me I felt as if we were together forever and we never broke up.. I understand he has a wife and a child.. he never said he had a child but at one point he told his kid to take something out of his mouth .. When I tell you I’m completely over all the anger animosity if he was the walk into my life right now even with the child which is my biggest no no I would not have any anger towards his child or him . I was in the bad c
atch I’m a paid professional model , and I am well educated . he was a short stocky dumpy little guy but he was my dumpy little guy that I loved with all my heart . I love this man . We both had a lot of growing up to do even know we were at different stages in our lives I felt like we were inseparable because we had the chance to grow and mature together . He dealt with my stupidness just like I delt with his . every strong relationships you standby your man and I did . I stuck with him through all the ups and downs .. I gave the dedication because I knew he was the one .. I can’t do everything your blog says because we don’t live near each other or even work near each other or have any mutual friends anymore so I can’t just pop up bird show up.. After four years I think that’s kind of creepy.. I kind of subconsciously did everything that your website said without even knowing.. When I spoke to him on the phone I did not make it seem like I want to get back with him .. I know I’m absolutely crazy to even think there would be a chance.. But what I do know is that when he broke up with me he immediately started dating .. He got married and had a child. If That doesn’t sound like the biggest rebound person in the world Then I don’t know what is.. I am so confused but I know about the no contact rule and there’s nothing I can do to change his mind about his future … when I hung up the phone I still felt like he was the one.. And in my heart it doesn’t matter about the past when we weren’t together because I was not part of that.. I totally gave up on this man and disregard him from my life for 4 years but I never felt complete after we broke up no matter what I did.. Please give me your advice because there’s a lot on the table for him and not for me..
Sincerely a very confused female
Anne smith
admin
January 20, 2014 at 12:10 am
You guys stayed together for a long time.
Did you sense things were getting stale in the relationship?
Anne smith
January 20, 2014 at 3:51 pm
No we were always very active. He did have a issue but meds corrected that
Anne smith
January 20, 2014 at 3:54 pm
I Saw his sister and brother in law at an amusement park and they walked rite pass me.. It really hurt my feelings.. His brother in law is a cop and I know they analyze everything .. I have not changed I look the same..
Anne smith
January 20, 2014 at 3:54 pm
Thank you
Anne smith
January 23, 2014 at 8:55 am
What should I do ? Or do I just walk away ?
Anne smith
February 6, 2014 at 5:03 am
I finally was able to contact my ex. My first try was an email he didn’t respond. Then I found his number on an old cell phone. I text him once and he had his wife call me and leave me a voice mail. she had no idea who I was but she was just calling back cause I left him a message.. I Sent a very basic text message.. The next day I sent him another text messaging asking him to please call me.. He said he had nothing to say to me.. I asked him again to please call me.. . He’s the one that broke up with me and then try to get me back .. I don’t know why he says he is nothing to say to me.. After being with somebody for nine years I feel if I would like to call them I should be able to.. he answered my message back and then I got a phone call .. I didn’t want to pick it up because I didn’t know if it was his angry wife. He set me back a message saying “it’s me just pick up” and I started crying because I knew it was him . When I heard his voice on the phone I felt alive again .. We talked for half an hour.. I felt like I never missed a beat with him.. We went through all kinds of emotions but he was calm and sweet on the phone the whole time.. We both kind of just hung up without really saying goodbye.. So I sent him a message saying .. he sounds happy and have a good life and goodbye.. We text back and forth a few times and the last Last text he sent was “can’t we all just be happy and good luck”.he said good because I was going in for a minor surgery that day. I never responded back to his last text message and that was jan 15..
I desperately need advice it has been four years but I don’t have the complete feeling without him.. Is so angry for two years that no matter what I did I didn’t care and then two years I had a head injury. I’m so over all the anger and hate and I’m ready to move on with him. Was like an epiphany .. I realized how much I cared about out of nowhere .. I love him so much.. Any advice would help..
Jasmine
January 17, 2014 at 7:29 am
I apologize I meant the quality and not the quantity š
Jasmine
January 17, 2014 at 7:27 am
Hey my name is Jasmine and being a psychology major I usually consider myself an expert but we always seem to lose our advice when it comes to personal experiences. I will try to make this as short as possible. I’ve dated a guy for approximately half a year and its been a year since we broke up (which is obviously more than the time period we had dated) but i definitely learned that its truly about the quantity and not the quality. When I first met him I was already dating someone but was very casual. We started out as friends and would talk for hours to the point he told me to make up my mind which resulted in me leaving my boy toy (which he thought was a serious relationship) for him. I live in NYC and he used to be very successful whilst studying in college at the same time. So when he moved from NYC and slowly started realizing he had given up on a good life he then started smoking and drinking constantly where I couldn’t even tell any longer. We visited each other back and forth but he had become so bipolar. Literally three days before he left me he started tearing saying that he truly cares and wants to make things work but after I had went to the kitchen he was on my phone and his mood instantly changed. He would get jealous for no reason, and knowing the psychology behind this behavior I figured that it was his guilty consciousness speaking where everything made him worry. On the day we broke up I spoke to his mother for the “first time” which was not how I had planned it and she was the one who ended up crying saying that she doesn’t know what to do with him anymore. Basically at first when we broke up (approximately 2 months after) he would call me and text me from different numbers constantly asking things like how my birthday went (we have several mutual friends who came to my birthday) and valentines day asking if it went as I expected, I basically replied with a “yes and no because I didn’t expect to get anything but I did”. he would also ask my friends about me and every time it was a different one. Towards the summer time he had disappeared, but just about 3 weeks ago he asked my friend about me again by asking about everyone and sliding me in last so he won’t make it obvious. You asked that before we get any ideas to ask ourselves why do we want to go back with that individual. In my case, I feel as if he was lost in his own world, and yes he did indeed somewhat drag me down leaving me confused an heartbroken for about 7 months (along with partying, rebounds, drinking. not going for a semester and extra…) but I can’t blame him for my aftermath decisions because it isn’t right. I want to know If that person who chased me like a puppy and was happy still exists now that he’s back in NYC which he knows that I know about. I hope this wasn’t too long but I am curious about your opinion
admin
January 20, 2014 at 12:08 am
Isn’t that crazy?
When stuff happens to you personally all your knowledge goes out the window for a while.
The person who chased you like a puppy is still in there BUT he really seems hurt so he has his guard up.
Jasmine
January 21, 2014 at 1:40 am
I completely agree with you. I have really wanted to send him a message to see how things are going for him since i know more than anyone that he was going through a very difficult time (Even though it wasnt an excuse to drag me along with the misery). However we have so many mutual friends and he knows how to put on an act that he’s fine for instance on social sites putting up pictures and etc… so I feel as if it would result in me looking desperate and missing him and I wouldn’t be surprised if he went and told someone we both know just to make himself feel better and look like a “boss”. But then again I know the type of guy he is, and I know he asks about me to my friends because HE KNOWS that they’re going to let me know. If I was back in high school then I would think that he’s just messing around, but we are both grown individuals in our mid 20’s and taking the risk in putting himself out there asking all of my friends about me (again its a huge group so they could easily tell the others and he would be put in the spot) yet knowing that he still asks. Curiosity kills doesn’t it haha. What I am trying to say is that what do you suggest? Since I just came back from vacation I need to get my old number back otherwise I think he would have texted me. But being a girl texting first with mutual friends I am REALLY holding back. And yes the fact that he indirectly asks about me by bringing up everyone or in the first 2 months of our breakup call me around 3-6 in the morning drunk (drunk words are sober thoughts) really does show he’s put up a barrier. I just can’t figure out whether its because of Pride, Fear in being judged/rejected, or the fact that he himself is just confused
Tonya
January 16, 2014 at 12:50 am
Dear Chris,
My boyfriend of two years and I broke up about 9 months ago. As we were in the same social circle we remained “friendly” for a few months until I moved overseas for a year. He messaged me after 2 months of no contact asking how I was, etc.
We had gone through a difficult break up and at the time I expressed none of it to him…so when he got in contact again I (stupidly or not), made a point of telling him just how hurt and disrespected he made me feel at the time, saying I wasn’t sure if we could remain friends as a result.
He replied that he too was hurt, by some things I did in the aftermath of our break up. He was extremely angry for my hypocrisy, but said if I ever felt we could be friends again to “let him know”.
It’s been 9 months since then with no contact and I am soon moving home again (where he lives).
I miss him, I love him as much as I ever did and I want him back.
Do you think the simple “text” would work in this situation? Or do you have any advice for me? Anything would be appreciated
Nikki
January 13, 2014 at 4:37 am
Hi Chris,
My ex and I have been broken up for three years now and yes he is worth getting back. I already sent him the sweet and short text: “Hi John, you’ve been on my mind lately and just wanted to see how your life was going.”
It’s been over a week and no reply from him. What kind of text should I send next??
Thank you for your help.
Diana
January 9, 2014 at 11:20 pm
Thank you for writing this article. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 2 and a half years broke up because I graduated from college and got a job in our hometown, while he was not finished with school yet and stayed at the university 3 hours drive away. He broke up with me over the phone.
Over the past year we have stayed in contact by text messaging and talking on the phone. We started to hang out whenever he came in town and after 10 months of being broken up we kissed. From that point on everytime we see each other it’s as if we are together. We have slept together. He spent the day and night with me on his birthday. He told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too. The only problem is we never really talked about getting back together. I did find out that he kissed two other girls while we were broken up. I did not kiss anyone. Now he is back at school and I miss him and love him and want to get back together with him. Please help me or give me some advice as to what I should do.
Jennifer
January 9, 2014 at 9:21 am
I am wondering about my situation. I have an ex that I have been thinking of lately, but we seemed to have a pretty cut and dry closure. It was eight years ago since our break up. We had instant sparks, but both of our families were so overbearing and he was so angry with my Dad when the relationship ended. Anyways we tried working it out a couple months after our breakup and we are both of the same religion and one day he called randomly to tell me that he recieved a profound answer that he wasnt the one for me spiritually speaking. I felt sad, and afterward I gave him the space he wanted and moved on. We have had hardly any contact at all. However, I saw him recently, at our local store where he works (its a small town) and we made eye contact and he turned away. I am married, but separated and I know he knows about that. He had not married nor really had a relationship since me. I guess my question is that if I were to divorce, should I just leave this old relationship alone? I do miss certain things about him, but feel unsure about his behavior. Is this one of this ex relationships, that is better left alone? Thanks for any input.
admin
January 10, 2014 at 1:32 am
I think deep down you know what feels right and what doesn’t. If you are getting red flags I think it would be smarter to leave it alone.
Jessy
January 7, 2014 at 3:12 pm
Dear Chris,
My ex fiancĆ© and I have been broken up for a year. In a bad night, I broke it off with him and came back the next day, but at 3am he had called everyone he was fairly close to, and said it was over, probably discussing everything bad, ect. I begged him that day, and he told me he would be back. Then the texting started, and he promised me for at least 4 months that he was “fixing it” and getting his life together and that he knew I was the one for him. Then things started to change and he started treated me bad, like he blamed me for him keeping me one the line. So there was 6 months of back and forth texting and him promising me wed be together again. Aside from the post breakup phone bs, when we were together we were both very much in love, it was amazing. It has now been over 6 months since we have had any contact, and the last text we sent was he’d be back and he loved me. This has kept me in limbo kind of and I just want to talk to him and know for sure, I still love him. What should I say? The phone stuff got crazy for months after the break, so I am afraid to contact him. Thank you
Jessy
February 1, 2014 at 7:03 am
I would really appreciate any advice on a next move. I am so sad that he has not initiated any contact, but have a feeling it’s because of the post break up contact. It has been 8 months of no contact, I miss and want to know what he’s up to. Should I text him? Will that be obvious? I know I’m going to have to text him at some point for closure… but I am so afraid he won’t respond. Please let me know what you think, like I said… we were in love but after the break it got bad. Thank you, the article is very practical and good and give woman hope, but self respect is the main concern with giving woman false hope. So that is another reason I am afraid. Thanks again!
cid
January 5, 2014 at 10:33 pm
So me and my ex was together for a little over 7 and a half years and we broke up almost a year ago (last year in late February). We still talk but hardly. I sent him a merry Christmas text and a happy New Years text. He replied back wishing me a merry Christmas and also a happy New Years. I was with him last week Sunday (we hung out) and I fell asleep at his place. Nothing happened. I remember waking up to him grabbing my hand and cuddling with me. Does he still have feelings for me? He goes out to the bars and clubs and I know he meets girls and talks to them. It doesn’t really bother me as much as before because I got used to it but I do still want him back yet at the same time I’m trying to move on. I also found out from a good friend that her husband saw my ex and her husband asked about if he still talks to me or seen me lately. He told her husband that the last time he seen me was 5 months ago which is a lie because he saw me recently. I don’t text or contact him. What do I do and does he still care/misses me?
admin
January 6, 2014 at 6:22 pm
I think he still thinks about you sure.
I think also that he is having trouble coping without you which is why hes goign to try to pick up all these women.
Reagan
January 5, 2014 at 3:27 am
I was going out with my boyfriend for a year and our relationship was very rocky, but despite that we were very much in love. I used to think he loved me more than I loved him which put me off and I didn’t treat him exactly as I should have… anyway, he ended things with me many times but always came back but in the end I finished the relationship in the heat of an argument and shortly after ignoring him fully, he wanted me back but changed his mind the next day.
We were in high school at the time and we still are. I really want to get his attention and try get him back but I want to know if it’s even worth it as he has a new girlfriend-type thing going on with this girl in the year below me.
Prom is coming up and I would love him as a date. We have been ended for around 8-9 months and I’m just wondering how I would go about starting a conversation and if I should pass flirty hints at him at school.
(I always try to look my 100% best around him as well as I can, even lost weight in the time we’ve been apart, changed my wardrobe, dyed my hair, changed a lot about me to make myself more appealing, but nothing’s changed)
I REALLY NEED HELP
admin
January 5, 2014 at 8:12 pm
Good ole Prom I remember mine. It wasn’t too bad actually.
I think you should do those flirty hints.
Take things at a really slow and measured pace though. Subtly plant the seeds in his head and let them grow.