How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,234 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

J

October 18, 2016 at 4:17 pm

if he moved on, do i have a chance? do u think he likes that girl? what do i do? reminder hes leaving for military in december………i asked him if we can remain good terms for the future and this time he didnt yell or anything he just said “aight”
Cris

October 18, 2016 at 4:00 pm

I need help! I met my ex boyfriend online in a dating website in august 19th, we started to talk every single day… the whole day! texting and facetime (we live in different countries Im from Brazil and he is from USA) we planned to see each other in person but before that we show our families, and I started to talk with his mother really often, anyways, he came here in october 08th but he forgot about his visa and the federal police would send him back to usa, it was really traumatic for both of us because the first time i really saw him in person was with him with federal police, then we bought tickets to argentina because he doesnt need visa there… we went to argentina together and that night i was waiting for him to talk to me and be with me.. you know like hug and kiss.. and he didnt. i went to the bathroom and started to cry because i was afraid about the whole situation i was in a different country with someone who seemed not be enjoyng my presence.. i was really afraid. and then he saw me crying and start with fight because he said i was acting child.. and i said look i just want some attention im afraid!! and then we really fght and he asked me if i wanted to go back to my country and i said yes. the next day he didnt wait for me change my tickets and he changed his first.. it was so rude.. because i was afraid and then he would live before me! and we fight again.. and i cried again… then we finally talk and understand each other (i thought) he said he would not judge me and ask me to do the same, and he said he was treated so bad in his last relationship and now he gets nervous when he is with someone… thats why he didnt give me attention, i said i understand him and i could help… anyways i thought we were fine! then we went to the airport and didnt have any ticket for me to go back at the same day with him… so then i slept in the airport 2 nights! to finally get home! and then he broke up with me!!!!!! im feeling like im nothing!! i did all of this to not leave him alone! and he just dumped me!! his mother dont talk to me anymore and he said he doesnt want this relationship because im too emotional, and im completely lost! idk what to do… i love him i really do… i miss him so much…. we arent talking for 7 days now… and no contact… can i have him back???? and about social media, i need to put photos when im in No contact rules??? PLEASE HELP ME

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 2:05 pm

Hi Cris,

He thinks you’re needy.. That’s good that you’re starting the no contact rule.. There’s no guarantee that it will work but it’s still better to do it than keep on chasing him… It’s not just about ignoring him. The no contact rule is to help you. You need to start being independent and having your own life. Yes, you need to be active in social media. Improve the health, wealth and relationships aspects of your life.. Relationship means your relationship with your friends, family and you have to meet new people and make new friends.

Amy

October 18, 2016 at 3:56 pm

First thank you for this site, and materials. I am just getting started, but compared to other things I have read, this is uplifting while being truthful.

My ex and I met this summer through his cousins. We live 4 hours apart. We hit it off right away and his cousin even said “she’a the one”. My ex asked me on a date the next day, which was the never ending perfect date. We went out to eat, got frozen yogurt, bowled, went back to my house, played piano, and watched a movie. The conversation never lagged and it was all fun. We clicked right away. Then the next day he invited me to his cousin’s even though his family was coming to town so I met his family. Then the next day he met most of my family because we all went to the beach together. Then he spontaneously took an extra day off work to stay an extra night and we went to fireworks together, at which point he met my son and they hit it off also. Both families loved each other and got along.
He text me every day after that and finally I went to his place a week and a half later. He said he never calls a girl, but we talked often and he never texts a girl until at least 1 week after a date and he text me every day. We saw each other once a week approximately after that.
Things got serious quickly and we would talk about our future together. Then one weekend I had a wedding I was in and he came. (His cousins were also there to hang out with). The weekend was too much with people asking when we would be getting married and other things. He got freaked out and a week later with no warning he called and said I think we should break this off because I don’t see myself moving there and you can’t move here so it is better to end it now instead of later. I was calm and accepted it. No crying, pleading, begging, etc. it was actually very friendly and he ended the short conversation with “I’ll talk to you later.” I actually had a few questions later that night so we talked again about if I could talk to his family (he said yes), if we could be friends (he said yes which surprised me because every other serious girlfriend he has been mean to and never wanted to talk to again), and what changed. It was all friendly. We actually joked and wished each other well.

A week past and I text him a political rant to which he responded right away. Five days later I text about football and once again replied right away and even changed the subject to what he was doing to improve his house. A week later I sent a silly pun. Then his cousin went to see him and sadly asked for my stuff back in a manipulative way after me asking him not to. The ex hadn’t had any of it ready. After a couple days I asked him a work question and he actually text me the day after and the day after that and the day after that. I was so excited! Then two weekends ago (about 1 month after the break up) we flirted majorly, even though all of our texts are a little flirty. Last week I let him text me only and responded, but Friday I text him and he was very short and since I have not text him and he has not text me. I am not sure if no contact is where I should start for now or not, but that is what I am doing. Praying this will work because my ex is truly everything I have been looking for in a guy and I do not want to lose that opportunity.

Amy

October 18, 2016 at 6:19 pm

Is it ever ok during NC to reply with one word to not be rude? I personally hate when people ignore my texts and my ex knows this so if he contacts me with the normal fun meme or quick message he has been doing previously, not responding at all is not me so is just a smile or haha ok?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 1:34 pm

Hi Amy,

It’s not a good idea.. because if he sends another text that requires a reply, like asking how you are, you would have to ignore that..

Andrea

October 18, 2016 at 2:06 pm

My boyfriend and I were dating for 2 1/2 years. I’m 22 he’s 25. It was very serious, we were living together before I moved away, we had pets together, talked about forever and getting married one day. I moved away because of a job opportunity which we had talked about and I had asked him if we could make it through me being on the other side of the country for 10 months and he said yes. I needed the job to save up some $$ for applying to medical school which was starting to put a strain on me financially. We’d been in a LDR before when I studied abroad in college for a semester in Rome and made it through without ever visiting one another in that time so I thought we would be able to make it through this again. It would be easier to see each other at least once a month with my new salary, we could easily talk and text every day like we always have. The plan was for this to be long distance until I got into medical school and we would move in with each other again where ever that ended up being. He was (is?) my first serious boyfriend and first love (not the same for him) and I can’t seem to accept this is really happening. But I went home a couple weeks after he broke things off because I had already bought the ticket to visit him and he had changed his locks to what was once our home and refused to meet with me, standing me up twice for meetings we set up to talk. After that we had NC for about a week and I messed up by reaching out to him first. We were speaking almost everyday again but whenever I brought up relationship stuff he would shut down. We did do some phone sex stuff during that contact period too…now I’m back to trying the NC thing for 30 days. But I’m terrified he’s going to forget about me and move on in this period. I was the last one to send a message to him and he has me blocked on most social media. I know that he’s been keeping himself busy almost everyday after work and I’m scared he’s going to find someone else. I have so many mixed emotions of wanting him back but also knowing that I should not be treated this way by someone who loved me but can break promises so easily. He said he ended things because he was scared and doesn’t see himself ever leaving our home state and that by breaking up now rather than when I move somewhere for medical school, it’s easier and best for him to not be hurt more since he believes I won’t be moving back to our home state any time soon and that’s where he wants to be. Is this a hopeless thing to fight for? Before I moved away he was open to the idea of moving with me for a new adventure and I know I won’t be giving up my dreams but I just don’t know what to think or do anymore because it hurts so much.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 1:03 pm

Hi Andrea,

if he really doesnt want to move when you go to medical school, then the only option would be to stay in a long distance relationship if you get back together.. fot now, I think you should do at least 45 days.. he already blocked you, you have nothing more to lose.. instead of worrying, focus in healing and improving yourself before initiating contact again no contact..

lake

October 18, 2016 at 12:10 pm

hi there,
this ex- boyfriend of mine drives me crazy . we were together for more than a year. we are from different country, I met him in the academy where he worked as a manager and I as a teacher. He told me for him it was love at first sight. when his contract had ended he decided to return to his country. At first everything went well. He kept on coming back every month just to be with me. I thought It would last forever.
out of nowhere ,everything had changed. he became as cold as snow. He said ,he needed to focus on his exam so I should understand his situation. I did, but because of that we almost lost contact, until we fought everytime we talked online. there were times that he didn’t even wanna talk to me through skype. I thought we could overcome that situation. until it came to the point that he almost pushed me away. he didnt have any women. and I am sure of that. He was suffering from much pressure and stress. I kept on telling him that I could stand by his side until he overcome everything but he said that time he didnt need love. he needed time alone..until I decided to break up with him. not because I wanted to, but that’s what he wanted.
after the breakups…I was devastated, pathetic, and out of control. i kept on sending him messages, videos(my videos), emails, poems, and etc. at first he appreciated everything, he said thank you and even said i love you..but I couldn’t understand if he meant it or what.
he is so capricious there are moments that he acts like he wants me back so he sends sweet messages and kind words but when the conversation goes on and on, he suddenly change his mind and become cold again, until one day he told me still likes me so much but he isn’t sure if he can meet me again or not. he doent know if he can come back here in my country and meet me again.. but after telling me this reall mind he gets colder again. he doesn’t answer my messages and he keeps on ignoring me again. and like what I’ve said it drives me crazy.. i want him back i want him to love me the way he did before ..Is the NC thing can help me back?
thank you

lake

October 18, 2016 at 1:06 pm

in addition to I already tried the NC rule but cant finish i always fail. whenever I don’t send him a message in a week, he messages me then act sweet and tell me some stories that makes me feel so jealous. and every time ,he notice that I feel that way he’s happy and remind me that we aren’t couple anymore so I shouldn’t act like that. I am just afraid that if I don’t connect with him in a month he might forget me..will it happen? if I do the NC RULE will it make him miss me?
i really don’t know..thank you ..
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 19, 2016 at 10:28 pm

Hi lake,

there’s no guarantee that the nc rule will work.. Looks like he knows how to keep you chasing..

how’s his exam? Is it over now? How long did you lose contact before? and why cant he go to your country anymore? Is it financial reasons?

You have to be willing to lose a guy because if you can’t manage that, you’ll end up chasing him..which is what’s happening.. You’re so afraid you’ll lose him that it shows and he’s using it for his gain.. You said it yourself.. he’s being sweet and then reminds you you’re not together..It’s like he’s just letting you have a taste to keep you wanting more but he’s really not going to give you what you want but he enjoys the attention, so he keeps repeating the process because it kept working..

Kayte

October 18, 2016 at 7:48 am

Hi, my boyfriend and I broke up six weeks ago. I am in week 3 of no contact. I was unsure why we broke up because he never actually gave me a reason. However, today I read back on some of the messages we sent and basically he said to me the reason we can’t be together is because we are different nationalities and he thinks that we will potentially face a lot of problems so he is breaking up with me now. It seems like such a stupid reason to break up! I have dealt with visas and such type of situations many times before. We were planning for me to move over there in a couple of months but after he helped me looking into some visas he freaked out and was overwhelmed. He doesn’t deal well with stress and pressure and also had a lot on his plate at the time between work and study. I can’t help but feel he made the decision to break up in the heat of the moment because he was so overwhelmed and over these weeks has convinced himself that it was the right thing to do. He is the love of my life and he said I was too but he just gave up. I will do whatever it takes to win him back even when he lives on the other side of the world. Any advice would be appreciated. I can’t give up, especially when I know this is so so right and I love him six weeks after the break up, as much as I did six weeks before the break up. I’m working on improving myself and I am working hard and have made a good sum of money since we have split but I cant help but only want to spend it on our life together. I am feeling emotionally much stronger than day one, but I still want to be with him and not give up. His birthday is coming up this week- should I message him? I am thinking of calling him the following week to talk and ask if I could fly over to see him. What are your thoughts and opinion about this? What should my next plan of attack be with him? Thank you very much

Kayte

October 20, 2016 at 3:15 am

Ok, so what should I do? Just give up and move on?

I really don’t want to loose him. I have become a lot more independent and I would hope to live on my own and not be his life in moving over there rather creating a life for myself in the place he lives so we can live closer rather than on other sides of the world. There was abosolutley no concern or apprehension from him leading up to the breakup. He had just spent 2 months in my country and loved it. Two weeks after returning was when he ended things.

I want to explain to him that there is no expectation or pressure of him on my side. He had said to me that if I was from the same country as he then we would still be together.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 21, 2016 at 9:00 pm

create your own life first..I understand that you really want to convince him, and you’re free to do that of course.. I’m just giving my opinion that just actually doing it, is more powerful than saying it…because more likely, he’s not going to listen..
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 19, 2016 at 9:31 pm

Hi Kayte,

it would be better if you dont go there.. because that’s chasing.. your efforts will go to waste if you go there and look like you’re trying to convince(beg) him to try again.. more likely you’re going to restart the count after that..

if he was pressured because a lot has been going on in his life, and he didnt want you to go there, then why would you go there right? It’s like you did the specific thing that made him break up with you.. If I’m going to base it on your comment above, it looks like the nationality difference is not the real reason but that he felt you would be an added responsibility.. He had a lot on his plate and helping you in your visa is a glimpse on how he should be with you everyday.. it’s like he can see and feel that you make your world revolve around him and it’s a turn off…

spud

October 18, 2016 at 12:06 am

I broke up with my boyfriend of over a year and a half yesterday because I moved to South Korea for a job. Initially I was meant to go for six months, and we agreed to try LD because neither of us wanted to break up. After around two months we nearly broke up during a skype call because he started saying that our lives were heading in different directions. This is kind of true because I’ve always wanted to live abroad, but he loves living back where I’m from because he moved there from another country and loved it. I have to come back to the city to finish university after my time in Korea, so we knew it was only temporary.
However, yesterday at work I got offered a contract extension of another six months, which means that instead of coming home in February, I’d be coming home in July. I love living here, and as soon as I told my bf he was supportive of me taking the extension, but didn’t know what it would mean for our relationship. That night over the course of two hours we were talking on fb messenger and from how he was talking i seemed like he thought we should break up, even though he didn’t want to. I said the same thing, and we decided to break up. It destroyed me, because he was my best friend and I can’t imagine coming home and not having him in my life.
I already regret suggesting breaking up because I miss him already and I can’t stop thinking about the things we were going to do, and how good the relationship was. It wasn’t a perfect relationship and before I got offered the extension I was a bit unhappy at how little we were communicating (we talked on fb messenger pretty much everyday but we only had around four skype calls in the two months I’ve been here because of work schedules), but we have a big time difference and we were both busy with work. As well as that, I’m 21 and he’s nearly 28 so we are at different stages in our lives, and he is thinking very long-term, whereas I have always been thinking that loving him was enough in this relationship, as opposed to planning ahead and thinking about how our future dreams would actually work together.
We decided not to talk for a few days, and it’s only been around 12hrs since breaking up but I regret it already, even though I think I did the right thing. I don’t want him to be miserable for a year while I’m gone, and I also don’t want to feel guilty for enjoying my time in South Korea. I don’t want to lose my best friend, and I hadn’t thought about this side of things when breaking up with him. I know he’s really hurt and upset, and I feel like a monster for doing this to him, but I’m hurting as much as he is because this was a really difficult decision for me.
We’ve agreed to talk in a day or two to see how we feel about everything and I haven’t a clue what to do. I don’t think I should turn around and say I regret breaking up or want to get back together, because I don’t want to go through this again at a later stage or see the relationship fall apart later on due to the distance or our lives going in different directions. My friends think I made the right decision, but I can’t help but feel like I’m losing someone really important to me and I don’t know what to do.
The NC thing doesn’t seem like a great option because I don’t want to cut him out of my life completely, and we did say we would try to be friends because neither of us wants to lose each other. I feel like a mess and this is my first ever break up so I don’t know what to expect or do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 10:00 pm

Hi Spud,

ok.. bottomline, he doesnt want to leave his place, and you want to live in korean. You can only control yourself, so does that mean you change your mind about living in korea?

Haifa

October 17, 2016 at 11:37 pm

I’m on day 3 of no contact and he txt me saying he just wants to see how I am and he hopes I’m doing well. The thing is I’m worried if I ignore him he will get mad and offended And might never talk to me again. He’s the type that hates it. One of the reasons he broke up with me was because I was upset and ignored him for 4 days. I’m afraid ignoring him completely when he’s being nice enough to check on me will cause more damage than good. Pls help I love him very much I don’t wanna mess my chances of getting back wit him

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 2:52 pm

Hi Haifa,

how long were you together? What was the last time you talked about? did you talk about working things out instead of totally breaking up?

J

October 17, 2016 at 3:27 pm

Do you think if i do NC now that he has unblocked me and kinda talking again but still me starting convos, he will move on from me when hes clearly seeing this one girl and getting dinner with her every night & taking walks with her?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 2:07 pm

I hate to say this..but he has moved on already…

Andrena

October 17, 2016 at 12:47 am

So I have his boyfriend that’s been an on again, off-again relationship. A lot of it has to do with his ex who moved to Florida with her son. The last time we were together we split because he went to Florida to visit his son and they ended up having sex. Well I didn’t contact him after that last time. He contacted me about two months later saying that he missed me and loved me. That was about six weeks ago. He told me he wanted to marry me. we even picked rings. When she found out, his ex, she told him she was still in love with him. Then he got all confused and now he’s talking about going to Florida again. The problem is he wants me to stay with him while he’s down there with his son, supposedly. I don’t know what to make of it. We have a great relationship. I love him more than I ever loved my ex-husband. That’s how well we get along with each other. And their relationship is completely toxic. Every time they’ve talked it’s turned into a screaming match. I don’t know what to do. We haven’t broken up, yet. I won’t be surprised if we don’t want to goes to Florida because I think she wants him there to try and get him back. However she’s telling him she need some there to take care of his son and is hanging hus son over his head. She told him he’s taking the easy way out. The funny part was she told him she didn’t love him anymore and that’s why they broke up two years ago then she left. I know he misses his son so it makes it difficult. I feel like I’m fighting against two things and I’m just one person. If anyone has some advice on what I should do. Should I just let him leave? See how it goes? I’m not entirely sure but I don’t want to lose him and don’t know how to stop it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 3:05 pm

Hi Andrena

ah wait..he goes there, he wants you to stay put and wait for him and then he’ll try to see if he can work things out with his ex..and if they worked out, he’ll leave you and if not he’ll come back to you? Where is your voice in that?

Haifa

October 16, 2016 at 11:58 pm

Hey Jane,
I’m on day 3 of no contact and he txt me saying he just wants to see how I am and he hopes I’m doing well. The thing is I’m worried if I ignore him he will get mad and offended And might never talk to me again. He’s the type that hates it. One of the reasons he broke up with me was because I was upset and ignored him for 4 days. I’m afraid ignoring him completely when he’s being nice enough to check on me will cause more damage than good. Pls help I love him very much I don’t wanna mess my chances of getting back wit him

Haifa

October 17, 2016 at 3:16 am

Also we’re suppose to be friends and promised we’d always Be there for each other wouldn’t it be wrong to ignore him
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 2:52 pm

Hi Haifa,

how long were you together? What was the last time you talked about? did you talk about working things out instead of totally breaking up?
Haifa

October 17, 2016 at 12:07 am

Sorry marina I thought ur name was Jane I don’t know why lol anyways pls help

J

October 16, 2016 at 11:54 pm

so update, he agreed to talking and FINNALLY read all my texts i sent when I wasnt doing NC and was mad….im still blocked on everything besides one app which is only way were talking……i said to remain goodterms/friends and he said aight. so what do i do? start NC all over again even though i just asked that…..i feel like im messing everything up
OC

October 16, 2016 at 2:26 pm

Hello, my ex-girlfriend and I were in a long-distance relationship for 3 years. She broke up with me over 3 weeks ago and I started NC 14 days ago.
Well today is my birthday, and my ex messaged me saying, “Hey [OC], happy birthday! I didn’t know if I should text you, but I’m going to anyway. I hope you have a great day, surrounded by friends and family. I think about you.”
What do I do?? Do I ignore her until the 30 days of NC are up? I want to message her so badly (I had actually been prayinf she woukd text me all day) but I know that it’s too early to talk to her if I wanted to get her back.
What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 17, 2016 at 8:02 pm

Hi Oc,

dont reply.. I know you want to but Chris explains here why you shouldnt
EBR 057: Birthdays And The No Contact Rule

J

October 15, 2016 at 8:36 pm

yup i screwed up by messaging his whats app and asking to unblock me and talk to me again and promise for future and keep me in my mind, etc all that…..idk why NC is so hard……just that girl i saw she posted it made me so angry…..and hurt like my heart is sunken………….and i cannot focus on school or anything…..how am i supposed to live life doing NC when it hurts

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 3:16 pm

It will really be hard because he’s all you’ve been busy about.. Why not try to start having your own thing instead.. volunteer, join a new class, or go out more with friends

J

October 15, 2016 at 3:44 pm

A guy that said all thise mean things about no future with me etc and now seeing another girl…do you think she will be friend zoned too? Its the army for 2 yrs…unless he would actuslly date her…..or it could be a small fling like rebound?? What do u think his actions are rn? He told me hes not that kind of guy to hook up with random girls etc but maybe pain changed hom
J

October 15, 2016 at 3:05 pm

FUCK IDK IF I CAN DO THJS. Hes seeing this girl but hes leavjng for army so jt cant be a relationship? Maybe jts a fling but shes been posting pics of him and ik shes really into sex and stuff maybe hes horny? I crept her twitter. I cant do NC he is gonna keep going on dates with her what do i don
Lisa

October 15, 2016 at 1:51 pm

Hello,
My bf and I have been dating for 4 months and I’m not even sure if we are broken up yet. We had multiple tiffs about his communication how he goes a while without answering texts at times and sometimes how I cannot get in touch w him at night. He told me I need to trust him and stop getting mad over every little thing and that it is pushing him away. I know I have become a nag because I feel like we talk he says he’ll do better then he’ll do something the next day smh. I was celibate and chose to compromise my decision because I felt I loved him and we would be together.. even in this small time. But since I have I have been questioning if I did the right thing and trying to make him see if I gave myself to you.. why wouldn’t u do the smallest things to reassure me or make me happy? I feel bad right now because the last time I spoke to him was Wednesday night and he told me to leave him be for the moment but I was so in my emotions I kept texting .. nothing crazy but just asking why he couldn’t do the small things I was asking. What triggered it was that day I sent a Gm text he didn’t respond and I called him which he sent me to vm but when he responded that evening said he was in a school meeting where he couldn’t use his cellphone. It didn’t make sense to me that he couldn’t have returned the text before the meeting or even reach out to me on his own and say Gm. Then when he got out he returned the text but not the phone call.. so I mean I’m feeling a little needy but I feel like I do a lot to keep our relationship good and the effort just doesn’t seem there. He has always had communication issues but I guess I feel it more now that I’ve given him something so special to me. When I ask him about these things he keeps saying u shouldn’t feel like I’m not in this ad you not by yourself but to say one thing and show it are two different things. I don’t know where we are right now because before he told me to leave him be he said he needed me to stop tripping over nothing because all it’s doing is pushing him away because he’s tired of hearing what he don’t do .. what he don’t understand etc. so I when he told me to leave him be again and I said I’ll give up what you want and that was the last I heard from him. We have never gone days without contact and this is day 3? Should I just assume it’s done and implement nc or what? Again we are LD for 4 months

Lisa

October 15, 2016 at 1:54 pm

I said I’ll give you* what you want.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 5:50 pm

Hi Lisa,

Did you give too much so that he will give more? I think you should read and follow this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

C

October 15, 2016 at 12:21 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, we’ve been together for a year and 8months and in a ldr for the last 7months. I am 25 and he is 28. We were extremely serious, talking about living together and getting married once we had enough money, where we wanted to live, what type of dog we wanted to get and its name, and more. We texted very consistently throughout the day every day and skyped at least once per day, sometimes twice or more. We started our relationship in our country Venezuela and we truly are the most amazing couple, we got along incredibly well in every aspect, but then he went to study a master’s abroad in italy it was his dream, the only way he could continue to fullfill his dream and i backed him up 100%, initially the separation was for 6 months but then he told me he had been offered a job and again i stood by him, i love him so much. Because of the distance and price of the tickets i was only able to visit him once for 2 weeks, and that trip honestly made my mind that this man was the one for me, it was absolute magic, and we both agree on this. But 5 months have passed since that amazing trip, he moved to a crappy place he really dislikes to be near his new job and is kind of sad because of it and really stressed, though he loves his job. I moved to spain to be nearer a be able to see each other i found a job here and we were extremely exited. I arrived and a month has passed and he never made plans to come see me, so i started freaking out and pushing and crying because i felt somehow that i was putting so much more effort in the relationship than him. I’m was also a bit insecure in the relationship for fear of past relationships and i believe he grew tired of me wanting to control everything the past month because of fear that everything in my life was changing and i needed a little support and he couldn’t give it to me because he was in te same situation starting his new job hating where he lived. This is the second time in a week we break up. The first time was a rash decision i made, because he told me that for the past 2 weeks he wasn’t feeling as passionate about me anymore, that his feelings had changed and he didn’t know what to do. He also told me that he loved me very much and that he truly believed i was everything he ever wished for himself and wanted, but he didn’t get the same passionate feelings anymore, i freaked out and broke up with him and all he said was that he was sorry and that he didn’t know how to say goodbye to me, so the next day i asked him to talk with me and explain me exactly how he felt and why he felt that way and we did and we decided to give it another shot. But instead of letting things flow i became obsessed with trying to fix our problems and super scared that his feelingshad changed but it was because i was acting all crazy about everything because i felt to out of control. So 2 days ago he told me he didn’t believe we could work things out in a ldr that he knew we were perfect together but not in the distance and that he needed to be alone because he felt pressured to be more than he is and that he wanted an easy relationship that we could talk like before easy-going and fresh not a stress and a problem or solving a problem. So he said that this time it was it, and that he didn’t believe in second chances that maybe he was wrong but that he honestly didn’t think things would work out not like this. So he ended our relationship, i told him to see each other again at least once and see if things were so bad but he said he knew it would be amazing but he feared the distance and couldn’t live like that for another year until we decided to be together. We can’t be right now because he is in a dificult line of work and that is his only option for now to follow his dreams here in europe and i just started working and i need the experience but i told him i would go anywhere with him, which he told me made him feel bad because he didnt want to ruin my dream. I don’t know what to make of all of this. I really want to be back with him and i know we love each other. But he’s not answering any text i have sent him. He told me he would never contact ne again. Which makes me so sad and heartbroken. I’ve decided to try the no contact rule. But i dont know if it’ll work for me. Since he was so decided about ending everything. Thank you.

C

October 19, 2016 at 8:51 pm

Hi,

So yesterday he sent me a voicenote, telling me that our relationship had meant a lot to him and that it was really important and that he will always remember the good times, but that he really needs to be alone right now so he asked me to please stop trying to contact him or his mother, that he really needed to be left alone. Needless to say, i didn’t contact his mother she called me to ask me how i was doing because she didn’t know we had broken up i told her by mistake thinking she knew. She asked me what had happened and i told her that he had told me he couldn’t handle the distance and our fights because of it, that he thought we were amazing together but that our reality was another. She was really confused because the day we broke up, aparently he had been talking to her about coming to see me but that tickets were to pricey and that she offered to help but that he was not sure he wanted her to help. The day after she called aparently she talked to him and then she wrote to me saying that if things in fact get fixed and we decide to continue being together that we should learn to take things calmly and relaxed. I guess i got my hopes up but then yesterday i got that message from him. I told him that i would respect his decision and leave him alone because he is a really important person to me and that i would also work on myself and accept the fact that we are not together anymore. Yet, i don’t know what to make of this situation, i don’t understand why he would be talking about coming to see me and then suddenly breaking up. I’ve decided to go NC but it’s been really difficult, because i love him so much and honestly we had a really good relationship we just needed to work on managing our LDR arguments. Also the day we broke up i had asked him to talk about ways to better manage the relationship and he broke up with me saying he wanted and easy going problem free relationship and that he didn’t think ours could change for the better. I told him we could work it out but he was so stubborn. I don’t know what to do really :(, i am very sad and my heart is broken. But I’m living each day trying to do things that make me happy. I even got a new opportunity on a proyect that i really like on my new job and I’m really excited about it. How do you think i should proceed?? Do i have a chance to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 21, 2016 at 3:57 pm

Try first.. start a new routine for own life.. you talking to his mother just added to what he might be thinkinh that you’re too hung up on him.. even if you didnt initiate it..so, if you want to increase your chances, start nc and move on without fully moving on, aim to be the ungettable girl..
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 4:57 pm

Hi C,

There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but I think he’s very busy with his job now and in adjusting to his new place.. He wants you to have your own life, not be one of his responsibilities by making your world revolve around him.. Don’t make him your only reason for your decisions. You have to have your own dreams too to grow. A relationship is just an addition to your life, not the purpose of it. And I think that’s what he needs to see from you..

Cris

October 15, 2016 at 12:05 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, we’ve been together for a year and 8months and in a ldr for the last 7months. I am 25 and he is 28. We were extremely serious, talking about living together and getting married once we had enough money, where we wanted to live, what type of dog we wanted to get and its name, and more. We texted very consistently throughout the day every day and skyped at least once per day, sometimes twice or more. We started our relationship in our country Venezuela and we truly are the most amazing couple, we got along incredibly well in every aspect, but then he went to study a master’s abroad in italy it was his dream, the only way he could continue to fullfill his dream and i backed him up 100%, initially the separation was for 6 months but then he told me he had been offered a job and again i stood by him, i love him so much. Because of the distance and price of the tickets i was only able to visit him once for 2 weeks, and that trip honestly made my mind that this man was the one for me, it was absolute magic, and we both agree on this. But 5 months have passed since that amazing trip, he moved to a crappy place he really dislikes to be near his new job and is kind of sad because of it and really stressed, though he loves his job. I moved to spain to be nearer a be able to see each other i found a job here and we were extremely exited. I arrived and a month has passed and he never made plans to come see me, so i started freaking out and pushing and crying because i felt somehow that i was putting so much more effort in the relationship than him. I’m was also a bit insecure in the relationship for fear of past relationships and i believe he grew tired of me wanting to control everything the past month because of fear that everything in my life was changing and i needed a little support and he couldn’t give it to me because he was in te same situation starting his new job hating where he lived. This is the second time in a week we break up. The first time was a rash decision i made, because he told me that for the past 2 weeks he wasn’t feeling as passionate about me anymore, that his feelings had changed and he didn’t know what to do. He also told me that he loved me very much and that he truly believed i was everything he ever wished for himself and wanted, but he didn’t get the same passionate feelings anymore, i freaked out and broke up with him and all he said was that he was sorry and that he didn’t know how to say goodbye to me, so the next day i asked him to talk with me and explain me exactly how he felt and why he felt that way and we did and we decided to give it another shot. But instead of letting things flow i became obsessed with trying to fix our problems and super scared that his feelingshad changed but it was because i was acting all crazy about everything because i felt to out of control. So 2 days ago he told me he didn’t believe we could work things out in a ldr that he knew we were perfect together but not in the distance and that he needed to be alone because he felt pressured to be more than he is and that he wanted an easy relationship that we could talk like before easy-going and fresh not a stress and a problem or solving a problem. So he said that this time it was it, and that he didn’t believe in second chances that maybe he was wrong but that he honestly didn’t think things would work out not like this. So he ended our relationship, i told him to see each other again at least once and see if things were so bad but he said he knew it would be amazing but he feared the distance and couldn’t live like that for another year until we decided to be together. We can’t be right now because he is in a dificult line of work and that is his only option for now to follow his dreams here in europe and i just started working and i need the experience but i told him i would go anywhere with him, which he told me made him feel bad because he didnt want to ruin my dream. I don’t know what to make of all of this. I really want to be back with him and i know we love each other. But he’s not answering any text i have sent him. He told me he would never contact ne again. Which makes me so sad and heartbroken. I’ve decided to try the no contact rule. But i dont know if it’ll work for me. Since he was so decided about ending everything. Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 4:57 pm

Hi C,

There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but I think he’s very busy with his job now and in adjusting to his new place.. He wants you to have your own life, not be one of his responsibilities by making your world revolve around him.. Don’t make him your only reason for your decisions. You have to have your own dreams too to grow. A relationship is just an addition to your life, not the purpose of it. And I think that’s what he needs to see from you..

J

October 15, 2016 at 8:31 am

He hasnt unblocked me from anything yet?? Its funny how since weve gone so downhill so many girld have been liking his stuff pretty ironic isnt it? Like he’s purposely going out his way to becomd close to then all…

So after a few how are you texts can i ask him out 2yrd from now??

I want to text whatsapp his only thing he unblocked me from so he can unblock the rest of sofial media but he hasnt yet when he said he will?

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