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112 thoughts on “My Ex Has a New Girlfriend But Still Wants to Sleep With Me”

  1. Avatar

    Angel Brown

    September 27, 2019 at 4:28 pm

    Hello, I have been racking my brain about this situation and it hurts, I just need advice. And I’ll give you the short version! Okay, I started dating my Ex (lets call him bob)when he was young, I found out that I was pregnant with my ex before him and told Bob that I couldn’t be with him, but bob said forget that, I wanna love and be with you. It was nice he was with me through the whole thing, I lived with him for a while at his moms house but then that didn’t work so I had to be long distance from him and move a state away. Which was fine, I got to see him every single weekend, so it was fine. Skip a year later and I had cheated on bob with my ex from a drunken night out, and couldn’t face him to tell him. So skip, two months later, I found out I was pregnant with bobs baby, but something in my mind thought that it was my ex’s so I had to come clean. It hurt bob to shreds and we had to really work through it, I had my daughter and she was bobs! Everything was fine, until the arguing and trust started to fade and bob wasn’t himself. He was always anger with me and we broke up a couple of times. But we always got back together. ALWAYS! So the last time we got back together, we sat down and talked about what we wanted from this relationship and how we wanted to finally be together and find a place. So skip to last month, we got into a fight and I told him that I didn’t wanna live in his moms house to come back down to him. After that, he ghosted me. I kept texting and texting and he finally said” I don’t think we can be together at this point, sorry good luck” I was hurt and devastated because I thought we were fine !!! But I found out he met a girl two weeks before he broke up with me and been with her ever since. I freaked out and started being wild until I stopped and gave him space. Skip to last week. I thought to text him one day to see a movie, and he said he wanted to see me, so I drove down to him and saw his new place and he kept telling me how good he was with her and she 10xs better than I ever was and it hurt so bad. But then he told me he wanted to and how he wanted to touch me and kiss me…. and I guess you can tell what happened. So skip to this week and we have been texting every since, he says he doesn’t want to be with her and he wants to be with me and that it can’t hapoen because I’m not down there and she is and she gets him aorund and treats him good, and all that. But continues to make sexual jokes about having his cake and eating it too. But every time I tell him to come home to his family, he makes an excuse. He acts like he wants me but then keeps me as a secret. He doesn’t call, I’m on silent so he doesn’t get notifications when I text, I can’t text him at a certain hour and I know she is always around him. And he says if I got with anyone else he would be done with me all together…. what do I do? I wanna be with him and have our family back to show him, I’ve changed and I can be better to him! How do I do it ??? Please help !

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 29, 2019 at 9:15 pm

      Hi Angel, so the problem here is he KNOWS HE HAS YOU and this is not something that you want when you need him to leave his relationship. There has been a lot of back and forth between you too which is where you need to break the pattern. Do you think you’re at a place where you can commit and not fall into the same pattern of arguing or cheating further down the line. You need to make him feel like he is going to lose you. You do this by being Ungettable, you can read up about this on the website. Also his threat about being done if you met someone else, and even telling you hes having his cake and eating it too is the proof of how little he is respecting you and the other woman right now.

  2. Avatar


    September 21, 2019 at 7:43 am


    I’m so glad I found this article. My ex boyfriend of 5 years(on and off)broke up with me in January, we had little to no contact until April when one night he rang me calling me saying he needed me, I stupidly went to see him and we ended up sleeping together, he then went on to tell me after he couldn’t talk to me anymore. Fast forward to the end of July where he calls me again upset looking for me, i stupidly go over to him and we sleep together, he has a girlfriend, he’s been seeing someone for a few months. Since then we’ve meet up nearly once a week and slept together each time. I know how awful it sounds and after reading your article I’m really going to try stay away from him. I’m struggling because I really love him but he doesn’t care about me I’m just sex because he’s obviously not content in that new relationship.

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    Hanna powell

    September 19, 2019 at 5:00 pm

    So I was with my ex for 7 years we have 2 kids together son is 2 and daughter is 5 he also has a son age 11 from previous. The relationship started to brake down when my son was born as he was hard work! 3 months into having a baby my ex met a girl that served us at a restaurant and they started contacting each other. Long story short it was going on for 8 months an he left me to b with her! Then after a few weeks he got bored and come back! Then left again.. then would ask for sex all the time which I gave but then I found out he was still with this girl!. He came back and forth 6 times hurting me an my children emotionally. He has now said he will not be coming back as he loves this girl and wants to live with her and have a baby! My head is totally confused!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 19, 2019 at 5:39 pm

      Hey Hanna, I’m sorry how hard this must be on you and your children. Complete a LNC and stick with it. You need to try to make your life (with your children) solid happy foundation for them to be better again. Your ex will realise his mistake leaving and ruining your family. Him telling you he wants to have a baby with her is more than likely his way of hurting you. Look up limited no contact, and other articles that discuss children with your ex. Also NO SEX unless hes back with and has remove the OW totally from his life

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    September 14, 2019 at 9:54 pm

    Together 2.5 years. From the moment he left he took a breather. And then started calling and texting a week later like nothing changed. He was sweet. It was a difference. Like he just needed a breather. He changed our dynamic. Took away the intimacy so we could work on ourselves. We missed and wanted each other so much but I could see he was trying to control this and Lead like we were starting over.

    Had his own agenda. Keeping me “around”. In his view. To Make a long story short. Two months later I asked him…and he Indeed had slept with “his friend”. He admitted it humbly. Why didn’t I Say bye then!! He was so distraught, sorry I was hurt asking could I get pass it and I wanted too. I Thought she was random chick but she wasn’t. He stayed friends with her. In his click. She had been around. So what the moral of the story is. Since he’d had her and could possibly still have me like you said he was like Yahoo I can have my cake and eat it too! By months later He had become over-confident, manipulative and deceiving and was just being a typical single Man like we never had 3 years together. Why didn’t i say Buh-Bye then!

    I was hurt and insulted because had I known I could have stopped letting him call and text me if he was trying to Move ON. She has been in the picture every since..as “friends”. He still wanted to have me if I could be Ok with him just “Living his life” and seeing other women. I tried twice keeping in touch but realized if we can do this we can talk about us. I had questions and went in convincing mode. So I wasn’t quiet and not being his little puppet like he had hoped. He did some deceitful ish last May so I went NC 3 months.

    By the time I talked to him again. He was excited to hear from me. Like he was on the edge of the sofa waiting for me to text. Spending like a little boy. I scared him.

    He was ready to pull me back in. It was nice but…He was still sexing her and living his life.

    A few weeks later I called him out on something and said my peace. I wanted to be done. I was so astounded. He chased me down to talk. Texted me at work and said I am still gonna call so we can talk.
    And low and behold he called got passionate, darn near in tears. PROFOUNDLY speaking how he missed us, me, our intimacy. That I know he would want me as his wife. How he wanted me and all that and I wanted him too. But I made it clear that WE meant more than sex and I wouldn’t Share him. He agreed that I was more too. However, he wasn’t ready to stop being out there single. So 2 days later he called. I asked when we would see each other. He said, “when we are committed”. I said, “what does that mean?” He said, “when I come to you we will commit, join together and move forward toward marriage. I didn’t say anything. I said I would watch and listen.

    He called lightly for month and as we got closer. I thought he was taking it slow. I mentioned about spending time together and He ghosted for a month. Mind games. I was so tired.

    He called me after a month in Dec. It was nice at first. I brought things up nicely and he frustratingly pounced on me belittling my feelings and was VERY defensive. Weeks later He was like I told you I don’t want to be with just 1 women Hey, I’m just a Man! Wth? Who am I talking too? So after Xmas he had surgery and was very non chalent. I know you want to see me but this is my life so it will be your choice. So I pulled back went NC.

    I was Drained. My mind was twisted. I was upset. I thought I was done! I changed my number too. I reached out a month later to check on his surgery and he was nice. Weeks Flirted, videoed, laughed, reminisced and he did more talking than me. I was calm and didn’t do too much. He gave me his plan goals. And it sounded like he was telling me for a reason As we had these plans. But I didn’t question it. And I never would have thought he was seeing anyone. (Slapping myself)

    He’d stayed close to her. NOW Sept has grown into a couple and said that won’t change. What was I suppose to do?? He was playing with my head. I couldn’t lay my self respect down and just have an intimate thing with him knowing he is seeing someone else! So this is my fault? He says find some that can give you what you want throughout out breakup.
    I go quiet HERE HE COMES. Push/Pull for over a year! Wanting to keep me around. And for what, this. He chose HER!! Its “Easier” . They evolved

    Yet, He was frustrated still bringing up our past. He was bitter about me not reaching out for his bday and Holidays. He seemed confused, defensive. Like he HAD to make this real so he can justify his decision. But it was sad. Because it didn’t have to go this way!! But he let ego and pride come in, over confidence and trying to run game. And I being too emotional let him. He playing with fire had a “plan” and it failed. Now look at us now.

    And yea, he is still willing to be intimate if I could handle it. And NO I will never engage with him like this. Is there anything that can be done. NC just made him feel i am forcing him to commit. I am so turned off, hurt, and Numb.

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    What should I do and why do you think he's doing this his gf works also has her own car and spoils him.

    May 27, 2019 at 11:10 am

    I was in a relationship with my ex in 2015 we were going good than one day he left me to go back with his ex than he moved to a different state his ex that was his gf at the time didn’t wana move so he found someone else he was still calling me and asking me too move I said no than he moved back to my state the end of 2016 he wanted to see me again we slept together than a few months later he told me he met someone else theyre still in a relationship sense 2016 it’s now 2019 in 2017 and ending of 2018 he wanted too see me we slept together on both occasions not to mention I was blocked on fb and he’d call me off his gf phone I wasn’t aloud too call him and recently in March 2019 he unblocked me and added me again than lastnight 26 of may 2019 he msgd me on Facebook asking for my number I didn’t reply so he blocked me than unblocked me than I sent my number he unfriended and said he didn’t want his gf too see our messages he rang my phone also texting asking too me too go to his gf flat were he also lives telling me she was out of town and he wanted too have sex I said no and he told me he’d keep messaging me and not too call him at all so I fell asleep. I also told him numerous times too leave me alone his got a gf but he doesn’t and he always wants sex off me.

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    March 26, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    I was seeing this guy for 2 years and because he wouldn’t fully committ to me i decided to walk away. A month after this he started a relationship with someone else and i decided to block him everywhere. 10 months after this he managed to contact me again. This happened July last year. After this he has been messaging me more and more often. At first he was nice and normal and as months passed by he started flirting with me. We met up this weekend and spent a night together and it was amazing, very caring and loving and it really felt like these last 2 years never existed. It felt as if it was yesterday last time we saw each other. He also doesn’t live where i live since he moved out to another city about a year and a half ago.
    All i know is that it’s been 4 years since we started “this” whatever it is and somehow we always come back to each other.
    I didn’t have sex with him because i want him back, i do still feel the same as intense and as real as the first time though, but i just wanted to have sex with him. I know i couldn’t be with him as i don’t trust him but why is it so difficult to leave him in the past? Why is he doing what he is doing? He knows what i want and he knows why i broke up so why coming back to the same thing? Is it really worth it hurting his girlfriend just to be in touch with me again?
    Help please!

  7. Avatar

    Rose petito

    March 16, 2019 at 2:05 am

    I’m presently dealing with a narcissist in and out of relationship 65 years, he’s met another and went silent on me he’s done this over and over he even went so far to tell me she’s so special has a beautiful personality but I found out she’s buying him drugs she has no idea who he is right now he’s love bombing her. She doesn’t know he was here with me and yes we did have sex while he spoke to her. I told him I guess we can no longer do that and he said I can touch him anytime I want . This has been going on for Years it’s motho new but I’m drowning because I truly love him have loved him all these years . I text this morning and he did respond because I simply told him no matter what happened I still love him idk what to do especially since she’s buying him drugs I know it will end because when she stop buying he’s gonna see her personality change . But In the mean time I’m so upset what should I do

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    March 10, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    Thanks for the great article!

    Mine and my exes relationship was very toxic. Although we loved each other so much it was almost to much. After years of fighting and being so inlove one minute and fighting the next I decided to move overseas to get away and try have a fresh start.

    This worked for a short time but during this time my ex got a new girlfriend. I believe she was a rebound since day one and he has even admitted to it. He can’t bare to be alone. We have chatted on and off since I have been away but never for long as one of us end up blocking each other.

    I am moving back in A few weeks and have recently been in contact with him again. He now wants to see me and has been talking to me, saying he’s going to see me on the side (sleep with me) until he can figure out if we can work or not.

    I love this man so much. I don’t know why. I want to see him and I know I’ll have no self control if I do see him.

    Please help!! I need advice!!

    Thank you x

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 10, 2019 at 11:46 pm

      Hi Abbie!

      Just take it slow. The more you push or show a lot of interest, the less he will be incentivized to chase. If you choose to share him with this other girl, realize things can get complicated and confusing in many ways. There is a method I call the “Being There” approach. I wrote a post about it on the site. If you reach out to me thru the “Contact Form” link (found on the bottom of the each page of my site) I can fill you in on more of the details. Just remind me and ask me about it if you do send me an email!

  9. Avatar


    February 24, 2019 at 9:39 am

    I just found out that my ex is with someone new. I must admit, I was verbally and emotionally abusive towards him and did not have an intimate relationship with him for 2 years. Not that I was seeing anyone else but I guess it came to a point where he was becoming too needy. I have tried the no contact rule but he has already reached out to me a couple of times. What do I do? He also says he misses me and wants to talk about getting back together and I’m getting the idea he just wants to sleep with me also. What do I do next?

  10. Avatar


    January 11, 2019 at 12:53 am

    Me and my ex have been a part for about 4 years now. I have 4 kids. Two of which are his. When we met he had no problem taking on my two kids and to this day has no issues. We broke up for him not being loyal and all the fighting that came with it. Fast forward he has had a bunch of gfs in the past 4 year since us being apart and each gf he has had he’s cheated on with me. He knows how much I want to be a family again but only talks to me when he wants something sexual from me. And then that’s it. Days .. weeks go by and we don’t talk but the moment we see each other he always wants to do something.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      January 11, 2019 at 4:58 am

      Hi Leeanne!

      I wish I could wave a wand an make certain guys behave themselves. He seems a like a guy who has good in him, but he makes poor choices and those he draws closer to are disappointed in his behavior. I am afraid I don’t have a ready made solution except encouraging you to focus on your own needs and those of those around you that you love. If has not been reliable in the past, and continues to make teh same mistakes with other people, then I wouldn’t look for any wholesale changes from him.

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    November 20, 2018 at 8:17 am

    I broke up with my ex fiance months ago after stuff got crazy when he told me he got someone pregnant. I slept with someone else a month after he confirmed that were over. Only for him to come back to me 2wks after I had sex with another guy so I told him about it and stuff Ive done after we were over. He said he doesnt trust me. Fast forward to now. He’s married to the girl he got pregnant but they dont live together coz shes in a different state. Im also pregnant but he doesnt think its his. Ive moved on from him months ago but ever since I found out Im pregnant I was so emotional and lost since Im doing everything alone. This guy claims he cares for me. I call him once and hell be there. I also found out he was talking to this girl after we broke up and told her he wants to get married and have a family with her which got me questioning coz he doesnt wanna be there for my kid. I just want to know why does he still claim he loves and cares for me when he’s married and with this other girl. I just want to understand his actions coz it got me messed up. We would have sex everytime we meet up and it usually starts after an emotional conversation. He always brings up the past. Which to me is pointless coz why talk about the past you aint tryna fix.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 20, 2018 at 10:04 pm

      Hi Rac!

      I imagine that was pretty shocking to hear and disappointing that your fiance got another girl pregnant. A lot going on here. You might pull back and think about whether he is trustworthy and given he cheated on you and is now cheating on his wife.

  12. Avatar


    November 18, 2018 at 12:29 am

    This is our second time breakup. The first time, we had lots of fights and I was too needy. That’s the main reason why we broke up the first time. And during this time, we remained contact and everything just like people in the relationship.

    Half year later, we got back together. And this time both of us are happier and we barely fought and everything was great. Till he went to a camp for about a month, and I still contact him when he’s there but not controlling or being too needy.

    After he came back from the camp, he said he thinks we should broke up cuz he felt trapped and he thought he’s too young so am I(we both 21) and we should explore more and he’s not ready to settle. And I agreed and told him. As much as I love him, seeing him happy is more important than anything.

    After that, I went no contact. Not contact him for anything, unless he contacted me first. About two weeks after, he invited me to go to his house and make lunch together (and I did go). Later that night, he even invited me join his parents and him at dinner. And couple days later, his old friends said they wanna see his girlfriend so he took me to meet them.

    Everything was exactly like how we were like when we were in the relationship. But on my birthday, he took me to fancy dinner and expensive gift, I stayed at his place for that night. When we were in bed(about to sleep), I told him that I’m grateful for what he did to me then he got all serious and said he thought we should stop this and really “just” be friends. I cried and told him that I understand and it hurts but I respect his choice.

    After that, I stop contacting him. till his birthday. He called and asked me if I wanna go to dinner together. I said sure (as a friend). That night we just had dinner, and he told me to stay at his place a day before his birthday. (Since I live far and he didn’t want me to go home that late) but on his birthday, he said his dad visited him surprisly so I couldn’t stay at his place.)

    And now a week after, he invited me to his place again and inisised want me to stay over night. But I just found a card from another girl and she called herself a cute and beautiful girlfriend at the end of the letter and said they started to date( in a relationship) the day before his birthday.

    I’m very confused. And we did have sex this weekend. He even told about our future when I didn’t bring up about it. I really don’t know what to do……

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    October 2, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    Hi, my ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago and he got himself a new gf. He confessed that he went out with her few days before we broke up and that he liked her seriously because of the way she treated him. They had sex 3-4 times in the 2 weeks they are together. And then he says he’s still not over me, had me fetch him at the airport and cried on the way home. Then he told me the truth, and that he still loved me, he felt sorry – kept telling me that, he would come back to me but he needed time to think and feels that he can’t do long distance with the girl. We had sex and I know it’s wrong I gave in, now I feel so bad and I don’t know what to do. He says to give him time like up to a month, and asks me to go on my trip without overthinking. He wasn’t sure of himself, what should I do? I love him but I know him being like this, can never be someone I will trust. He cheated on me once before & knew his mistake.

    I kept telling him, it’s wrong. He just kept going for the sex and after that, he says he’s not going to do it again because he felt bad. He said he’s serious about his girlfriend, but her lack of replies was making him anxious. He just felt that he can’t do long distance and she told him that if he was to pick any of us, she told him to pick me. Because while he was with her, he was replying me and calling me, she’s understanding that our relationship has been on for two years and it’s difficult. He kept saying she’s as nice as me but he doesn’t want to break up just yet because they just started for 2 weeks.

    How do I react to this? Do I go no contact because he said he still wants to text me and would be affected if I chose not to reply. He said he’ll leave it this way because I’m no longer his gf if I ignore him.

    I wanted to get him back until I found out that he has a new girlfriend. He kept crying whenever he thinks about us and is confused about walking away from our relationship. Any advice what should my next step be, or is there chance for us again or never?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 3, 2018 at 1:16 am

      HI Ham!

      Look, you ex despite all his tears and texts is treating you poorly. He need to figure out what he wants and if its you, hope you will take him back for this serious breach in your trust. I would start no contact. Let him know why. Its not to punish him, but for you to heal and to take stock of what you want going forward. Take a serious look at my 585 page eBook (Pro) as it will guide you thru the process!

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 3, 2018 at 1:16 am

      HI Ham!

      Look, you ex despite all his tears and texts is treating you poorly. He need to figure out what he wants and if its you, hope you will take him back for this serious breach in your trust. I would start no contact. Let him know why. Its not to punish him, but for you to heal and to take stock of what you want going forward. Take a serious look at my 585 page eBook (Pro) as it will guide you thru the process!

  14. Avatar


    September 17, 2018 at 4:43 pm

    I know exactly what people are going to say when they hear this. I’m usually very strong minded with dealing with this kind of thing but this time…I’ve been knocked from behind and I feel like I have no where to go. I just feel so much pain I don’t even know how to deal with it.

    My “ex” and I have been involved with one another for over 4 years. We started out as a fling and didn’t think it would last as long as it did. We were both getting out of relationships and just somehow ended up sleeping with one another. It was out of both of our characters as we were working together. Over time we hung out more and really acted like a couple. Both decided that a relationship was not good for either one of us but we continued to have sex. If I’m being honest with myself, maybe he decided that and I went along with it. Early on, I decided to bring up the fact that we had been casually dating for awhile and asked what we were. He kept telling me that he is unable to give me a relationship but then we became exclusively. Exclusively casually dating one another. We went on trips together. We essentially were everything but the title. Of course every so often I would question where this was taking us. He was having a tough time going through life. He got hurt multiple times and I was there to support him in every way possible. I tried to be there for him every time he was down. We hardly ever argued simply because I bit my tongue every single time. He never wanted to talk about us and was content with how things were. 4 years in, we had the final conversation. This happened in late March this year. I bought up the subject again. He TOLD ME HE LOVED ME AND CALLED ME HIM GF. I was on cloud 9 the next day. Then he sends me a text the same day and says “I need some space and time” and told me he was unable to give me what I wanted. We continued to talk. A couple weeks goes by and he becomes weird. He asked to come pick up his things. Comes over just to tell me he’s been dating someone new. In the span of 3 weeks. Denies sex but I guess there is a strong sexual attraction when we are both together. He continuously sends me texts of trips that he’s been on. I know it’s with this new girl. I ball my eyes out in front of him. Then I decided to do a no contact for 30 days. We connect again end up having sex. Then he tells me he is in love with this girl and they are in a relationship. After years of being there for him and supporting him he was not able to give me that but in a span of a couple months he’s in a committed relationship? I recently hit him up again and we have sex. And now he’s telling me that he’s in a state of mind considering marriage (which he is so against) , moving in, and kids. All on the same day we had sex.

    I want to hate him so badly but I still love him so much. I’m so hurt by the fact that I don’t mean anything to him. He says he cares but words are words. Sadly, I still want him back/want to be his friend. How do I get through this? The thought of never talking to him again just makes me sick to my stomach. Where do I go from here? I want him back 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 9:14 pm

      Hi there A!

      So there is a lot going on here and is impossible for me in the time available to cover it all. He seems to be all over the map with how he is treating you and talking to you. Have you tried the No Contact Principle?

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    Sammy R

    September 17, 2018 at 2:32 am

    So my boyfriend and I broke up after two and a half years together. We always clicked and got along well but, while I had intimacy issues on my partnhe has communication issues that didn’t mix well together. He broke up with me, but honestly we had hit what felt like a dead end for months before we broke up. So about a month goes by and I am feeling a lot better and I know he’s at least in the process of having a new girlfriend. But he contacted me and we just talked about our relationship and our past mistakes, we both realized where we went wrong and I even sought help on my end while he re-evaluated how he should handle is feelings. Cut to a few days later we end up sleeping together, but we both kinda made it obvious that we really didn’t have the intention of trying to be together again. But he wants the sex to become a regular thing. And at first I didn’t mind. But he’s always talking about this girl he knows he’s going to end up dating. But he’s always complaining and telling me how she can become crazy at the mere mention of my name and always getting frustrated with her more negative personality traits. And so seeing what a stressful situation it had become for him since he was lying to her or not being completely honest with her I suggest that I leave the situation so he can fully think about what he feels for this girl and their situation because all I want for him is to be happy because I will always care for him. But he ended up almost panicking saying he couldn’t go to zero contact with me again and that he wants me to be there if he needs me because he will always drop everything if I need him no question and just be in each other’s lives. But he refuses to tell his new future girlfriend that he wants to remain friends.. I feel like I’m in a situation that has a strong chance of blowing up in everyone’s face and I don’t know what to do.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 3:56 am

      Hi Sammy!

      I agree…these triangle type relationships can get everybody mixed up. I am afraid you will get hurt. Why not ease back a bit. Pick up my eBook “Pro” to make sure you are up to speed on my program

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    September 6, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    Me and my ex were together for 20 years and we were best friends we did everything together had kids together a home everything just like a married couple. A year ago after our 20 year anniversary he broke up with me I begged him to stay to no avail. Our relationship was amazing or so I thought he always was all over me sex life was perfect so I just didn’t understand what went wrong but a month before our anniversary he started talking to a girl from work he promised that nothing ever happened and he was just being a stupid guy and how he can make things better then like I said 6 weeks later he broke up with me but didn’t move out for a few months after because of the kids and we had so much sex for me it was trying to convince him to stay and I was so hurt!! Fast forward to 8 months after he left he would obviously still come around because of the kids we started having sex and he has a girlfriend the girl he was talking to from work almost immediately after he moved out!! Now it’s been 6 months we are still having sex and we are still friends the problem is I was never mad at him I have loved him for 20 years and was completely devastated and broken because I will always love him I just don’t understand why he would even be having sex with me? He knows what it did to me!! Before people can judge I don’t know if I would be having sex with him considering he has a girlfriend but it’s her the girl he was talking to and she knew that he had a 20 year relationship with me and that somehow she thought that was okay to do that to destroy someone else!! I don’t know what to do can’t go no contact with kids together or can I?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 7, 2018 at 3:56 am

      Hi Kelly!

      You can employ a limited form of no contact! I get into that in greater detail in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”.

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    April 5, 2018 at 11:21 am

    My ex and I have been together 7 yrs, I broke up with him numerous time because he wouldn’t fully commit. I did no contact for 30 days then I went back and found out while we working on things he was sleeping with someone, a girl who he met and slept with during the 30 days no contact. He told me the truth and I left him again and he doesn’t seem to care at all. Should I go back into no contact, I want him back but I want him to come back to me ready to commit. I can’t understand why he kept sleeping with her after we got back together?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 5, 2018 at 11:59 pm

      So, I’ll explain a life changing concept to you.

      One of the biggest reasons men cheat is because they lack either stability or mystery. Generally they cheat for more excitement/mystery. My guess is that girl had that in spades and you were a bit more on the stable side.

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    Amy Waters

    March 21, 2018 at 1:41 pm

    I broke up with my ex but regretted it instantly. However when I told how I felt he told me he was seeing someone new. Our breakup was messy and involved a lot of blocking online etc. and the only way I could keep in my life is to meet up and end everything on good terms (also because we both have the same friends). When we talked I had all intentions that he hated me because of how he was acting before hand but we ended up sleeping together and he encouraged it. He then invited me over and the same thing happened and he’s telling me that we need to stop. I’m really confused because he had a girlfriend and is avoiding my questions relating to the topic, but denies using me. It’s not all intimacy either; he talks about missing me at times, how I was in our relationship & I caught him stroking my skin whilst hugging me. Any input would be great because im beyond confused.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 27, 2018 at 12:33 pm

      Hi Amy waters,

      You’re friends with benefits.. Stop sleeping with him first and check this one:
      What To Do If You Had Sex With Your Ex?

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    Michell smith

    March 12, 2018 at 8:45 am

    I jumped into a relationship with a younger man straight after a 5 year relationship, we were engaged. I broke off the relationship with the younger person because I wasn’t ready for another just yet. He took it hard and told people I was cheating on him ect. We decided a week later to try work it out but he started getting verbally abusive when I slept with someone else. We did no contact for about 3 months. Then he reached out to me, we started hanging out and talking more often, then I found out he was seeing someone else and called it off. That lasted about a month. After that month we have slept together every few weeks for about 4 months now. His just started sleeping with me and then blocking me on social media and so then he’ll unblock me and the cycle continuous. What should I do in this situation? I know he will unblock me in a few weeks and wondering what I should do? Whenever I question him about it he completely shuts down

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 14, 2018 at 5:16 pm

      Hi Michelle,

      He’s toxic and abusive, you should move on from him.

  20. Avatar

    Michell smith

    March 12, 2018 at 2:24 am

    Me and my ex started dating straight after I ended a 5 year relationship. We were great together and he was good with my child who was only 3 months old. We broke up after 6 months because he was younger then me and very clingy and I hadn’t as time to get over my previous relationship. We didn’t end well , he thought I was cheating on him, after a week he asked to come back and i said we would go slow then he caused me of sleeping around so I made the decision to cut all contact. For 3 months we didn’t speak a word. Then I finally heard from him and we started hanging out and spending time together and talking about getting back together. Until I found out he was seeing someone else and ended it. Now he constantly messages me, he will sleep with me and talk to me for a few days after then block me, this is a continuous pattern. It happens atleast once a month and whenever I confront him he shuts down and doesn’t speak to me for even longer. Thoughts please.

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