How To Tell If Your Ex Boyfriend Is Flirting With You- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

130 thoughts on “Is Your Ex Boyfriend Flirting With You?”

Brittany

August 15, 2015 at 4:42 am

Chris, could you write a through guide to completely move on from your ex boyfriend? That’s why some people are here, to recover from the damage, well at least that is the reason I am. I found your website last year and I read every article searching for answers to get my ex boyfriend back and honestly I don’t want him back in my life. I want to focus on taking care of myself and being the best version I can be for me. If by chance you see my comment I would be forever greatful if you wrote a guide on how to move on from your ex boyfriend. Please. Hope you have a wonderful night or day whatever it is when you see this. Much love, Brittany.

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 11:12 pm

Hey Brittany, It’s already been written, it’s called How To Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend.

Lala

August 13, 2015 at 10:04 am

So let me clarify if I understood your advice…

1) Okay I will not block him from facebook., But do I “unfriend” him? Or just keep him as a friend there? I am uncomfortable with him knowing what is happening in my life and seeing my updates because he is also the type who checks on what is going on with people through facebook (what I have been doing is I have been filtering things in my posts so he can’t see them) So should I keep him as a friend? or unfriend but not block? Just now I’m thinking of taking a short 1 month break from facebook (NC i guess) and keep my contacts in another place. So even to other people who do not know what’s going on- I’m just planning to take a break, for my sake too.

2) Okay so I will just return his things and what facade/demeanor should I put up? Polite or cold or bubbly and nice? I will make it abrupt (and i would like to also because I want to have nothing to do with him right now at least and focus on myself). I tried NC lots of times and it really seems like he doesn’t care about us anymore (it made him wonder but he didnt put any good effort to understand me. i found out later that he was putting effort and investing elsewhere ifyouknowwhatimean)- but he knows how I feel about him (so I think it’s making him comfortable that I’m all over him and I am ready for him anytime he wants back because I was loyal and nice and loving to him) This time I am walking away for good and with what he did to me, I want him to feel like he has to work for us again and I would like to mean it. I feel very tired.

When I meet him for the things, I’m worried that something too cold will make him afraid to approach again in the future even if he wants to get back (because honestly he is the stubborn type who plays it macho and is not very open- he is pretty shy and has trouble expressing. He’d rather feel things out than talk things out- bad communicator I know, but I understand that part of him). But something too warm and nice would make him think I will be there anytime. He did not have a sense of urgency when I did a lot of sets of NC with him. There was no cooperation so I feel I must let go right now.

Just making sure I understand everything you said, Master Chris! and yes, I have been silently following your work for a year now (because I help my friends) and now that I am in this situation, I would like to be on the right guidance/instruction and walk the better path and I appreciate you suggesting me to the best way to it 🙂

Chris Seiter

August 13, 2015 at 1:07 pm

1. You will just leave him on your facebook. https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-using-facebook-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/

2. Act nice but don’t say anything like “I miss you” or “I want you back.”

Thanks I appreciate the support Lala!

Nicole

August 13, 2015 at 1:44 am

Hi Chris! You’re truly a saint for answering all of these desperate women haha. I know you’re extremely busy, but I’m hoping you can help me out with what my next step should be. I finished NC, but this actually made my ex really angry. I wish I would have read the 30 day vs. 21 day NC article before it was too late 🙁 just a suggestion, I think you should emphasize that strategy a little more, or maybe organize your articles by topics rather than time because some of your older ones are really great but just take a little more work to find because you have to scroll and load all the pages. Or maybe have a table of contents with easily accessible links 🙂 You answered my last comment but I doubt you remember my situation haha, so just to recap, my ex and I were almost best friends for about 8 months after the breakup, and then he shut me down when I got too emotional and mentioned getting back together (he did flirt with me a lot, try to kiss me, and give me mixed signals), so I did NC, which kind of backfired on me. So I had a conversation with him about it, said I just needed some time and space to move on, but he was really mad about the NC and said he’s super busy right now and this is bad timing, and he doesn’t have the energy to be friends with me right now because I “pissed him off”. So I want to respect that, and I’m thinking I should go back into NC but not ignore him this time if he reaches out (while still being the UG, of course). How long do you think I should I wait before trying to contact him again? Or should I just wait until he contacts me?

Chris Seiter

August 19, 2015 at 4:44 pm

You dont want to be friends so yes just go back into no contact for 21 days. He’s being spoiled but he’ll get over that. He sounds like he wanted FWB and that’s not ok. 🙂 Show him that it’s not ok.

Olga

August 12, 2015 at 11:51 pm

Hey Chris, I haven’t been on here lately because I’ve been trying to forget about my ex boyfriend who blocked me on facebook a few weeks ago. I don’t know why he did it but it hurt so much. We were talking about him not coming to my house party which would be the last opportunity to visit me and see where I live and since we had a really good relation those days I hoped he would say yes. I assumed he would has he had been saying he wished he’d go to the seaside for holidays and preferably WITH ME. After he said it we talked less but he texted me again on my birthday when he wished for me to be the happiest ever and for all my dreams to come true. When he said he wouldn’t come to the party I felt sad and expressed it but in a non-dramatic way. He then said he didn’t know what to say so I told him to forget the conversation cause it led nowhere. Then I changed the topic to our mutual friend (my neighbor at the time and his best friend) who was visiting me at that very moment we were chatting on Facebook. My ex thanked me suddenly and when I asked what for, he said it was for helping him realise that conversation really led to nowhere. He also said he’d be gone for LONGER and boom, I was blocked. First I laughed but then I started crying and told my friend everything and he said it doesn’t sound like my ex at all cause he never talked about me after the breakup. And he said the ex would realise how dump he was and would unblock me soon. Well, it was on 23rd June and now it’s mid August and I’m still blocked. He hasn’t deleted me on Skype though. I told myself I wouldn’t give myself out for him anymore and try to get him back because I should know my worth. So I’ve been trying to forget but I dont’t think I’m doing a good job at all. It really bothers me that I don’t know the reason of this behaviour as I don’t feel like i’ve done something bad, certainly not for purpose. I only wanted to change the topic. Please help me understand… Thanks

Olga

August 19, 2015 at 8:05 pm

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it! I didn’t really talk to our mutual friends about him after that one time when he had blocked me. I really tried to focus on myself, I got accepted into uni, went away for vacation with my besties, had my hair done blond! I only thought about him at night and when I did, I wrote it all in my diary and went to sleep. I almost never cried. Then everything changed because I met him last week.
Me and my friends were hanging out and decided to go to the most famous spot in our little town. Literally EVERYONE goes there. My ex were there, too. We were both already drunk and he was ignoring me completely, he came to say hi to my friends when I was standing with them but didn’t even look me in the eye. He looked like he was having fun and so did I. I caught him staring at me once or twice but he treated me like air. Most of our friends had already gone home when I finally spoke to him, I asked if he would be going to pretend he didn’t know me for the rest of our lives and I wanted to know what had happened that he had to throw me out of his life. He was really rude to me and it was shocking but okay, I walked out of the pub and said bye to my girls as I wouldn’t waste my time. But he stopped me. We sat on a bench for like an hour…. And he was telling me the worst things: that he didn’t want to see me ever again, that I’m a bad woman and I would never change, that our relationship was the worst, that he always loved me and always would but we just can’t be together, that he had blocked me because it was better for him that way. He asked if I’d forgotten that he was an egoist. He was so angry. I told him to go away, then. He couldn’t. He also couldn’t resist kissing me and he started doing so, repeating things like “I love you”, “I adore you” and then even “I hate you”. He said he’s the weakest and that this situation is so wrong but still he couldn’t leave. When he was walking me home, he was saying that our love wasn’t enough, that he felt like sh*t because he was so weak. He hugged me really tight and said he was going to cry. When we reached my home, I asked him if he’d unblock me on FB, he said no. He kissed my forehead. He told me not to cry because we’d see each other again. I slapped him in the face and ran home. Of course I haven’t contacted him ever since and I’m not waiting for him to do so either. I know he didn’t mean it when he said he hated me (learnt that one from you :)) and it kinda reassured me that I can drive him that crazy but is there even a way to make him trust me again? I know I shouldn’t even think about trying to get him back but of course I am…
Chris Seiter

August 19, 2015 at 5:00 pm

The best thing for you to do is focus more on yourself and less on him. Don’t look at his facebook or other profiles. I know that is really hard to do but you shouldn’t be to concerned whether he added you back or not. You will need the no contact rule which means you can’t talk to mutual friends about him either.

Zara

August 12, 2015 at 9:30 pm

Hi Chris, I’m currently in NC, it’s going better for me than expected. I feel like I am healing myself and focusing on my personal issues that may have affected the break up and I’m also taking my time to heal and work on things I want for myself. I was with my boyfriend for 6.5 years. He texted me last week, but it was far from romantic, he was asking for some concert tickets that we were supposed to go to together, I ignored him and he got pretty mad after that, saying “I bought my ticket, you can’t just f**king keep them to yourself.” I still ignored him. I don’t know if it was the right thing to do, but I don’t want to break NC, and also those tickets are for me and a friend. I felt like he was trying to put the last nail in the coffin by demanding for his ticket, so I could go alone – even though he has a group of friends he can go with and he can very easily get himself a new ticket. His messages before this were abusive and pretty hateful, like he was lashing out, he ended things via text about a few weeks ago.

Now, he has made his Instagram profile private from me, but he’s not very active on there anyway and he still has pictures of me on there. I don’t know what this really means? If it means anything anyway. We don’t have each other on Facebook either, so it’s not like I can make him subtly jealous, like you recommend. I know, it’s crazy, we were together for over 6 years but a year ago I unfriended him due to a silly (week long) break up (very immature), and we never added each other after that. So I know it would be weird to add him again. The only communication is though texts. He can’t see what I’m up to via Instagram (where I’m most active), or through Facebook either. I do feel hopeless now. He hasn’t contacted me since last week, he’s now made his Insta profile private and it almost feels like he WANTS to move on and get over me. By not seeing what I’m up to and how I’m doing, I feel that it makes it easier for him to forget about me.

I’m so sorry to sound pathetic. I feel pretty pathetic, but I need some insight, from a guy who clearly knows what he’s talking about…

Zara

August 20, 2015 at 10:46 pm

Hi Chris, thank you so much for the reply. I feel like I’ve screwed up. I think he has already got himself new tickets, or he doesn’t and now he hates me and is ignoring me. I sent him a text asking if he did get some new tickets and he hasn’t replied. I feel like I’ve lost all my chances now by ignoring him when he asked for the ticket initially, and I don’t know how I can make this right. I’ll start NC again, as I asked him via text after reading your reply today. My friends really advised not to give the ticket to him because it was mine and he was being abusive, I probably shouldn’t have listened to them now haha.
Chris Seiter

August 19, 2015 at 4:15 pm

Your not pathetic. You just care about this guy, that doesn’t make you pathetic. You should have maybe given him the concert tickets back before no contact. You need to mail the tickets back to him ASAP if you want a chance to get back with him. By keeping them he will think your a gold digger. I dont think he took down the social media stuff because he wants to get over you, I think he took it down because you made him angry for keeping the concert tickets.

Dimple

August 12, 2015 at 8:37 pm

I followed all your guide. I think my ex and I were together. He wanted me to leave with him. And I moved in with him. On second day he went to hangout with a girl who live near by our apartment. I got jealous and was very upset about this. Then he said we are in very close and only sexual relationship. I am just helping by letting you stay with me. I told him I don’t want friends with benifit. In the morning he act like cool and said sorry for being mean last night. Next day he keep his distance and act wired. Now I have no choice and can’t move out. Sometimes he showed his feeling. We both flirt. Give compliments. But he said he don’t love me. I am very confused. How do I make him fall in love with me? Do I need to be more ungetable girl? Should I treat him as a roommate and act normal?Please give me your kind advice.

Dimple

September 21, 2015 at 4:45 am

Yes he is a jelous type. I moved out from there already. I saw texted between that that girl and him . They were firlting each other. when I was trying to talk him about this he got so mad and told me she has a boyfriend and i am just jelous about all. If they are just a friend why he gang out with her whole night and spend long time with her.sometimes he go to her apt late night. He told me I am jelous girl. Do you thing so? Do you thing I have a change to win him back after all this drama? I really need your help to get him back.
Dimple

September 15, 2015 at 5:58 am

Hey Chris,
yes he is Jealous type. He went to that girl house again when we already went to bed. I saw all the text message of them. He was Flirting with her. I saw Half naked /close picture of them. Luckily I found a place and move out from there last week. When I went to give his apt keys, I asked about the text message. But he get so mad and did not want to see me again and want to leave the apt asap. He told me I was jealous. He told me that girl has a boyfriend and he is just friend with her. I am trying to let go him. But It wired I still have felling for him. I have not talk to him since that day. Is there any way to change his mind? what would I do in this situation? How do I create competition for him? How to make him to come back to me and make him realized I am worth it and best than other girls?
Chris Seiter

August 12, 2015 at 8:42 pm

You are in a tough spot since you live with him. You should make plans to move out. It’s not fair how he is treating you.

Yes, treat him as a roommate and act normal for now. Be a little flirty at times and see if you can create a little competition for him. Is he the jealous type?

Lala

August 12, 2015 at 8:23 pm

Hi Chris i have a few questions. I’m deciding on moving on (for now) because I feel I have some baggage and me and my partner have to find ourselves first before entering in a relationship (again).. We are sorting our things out like I am getting my things from his place and he is getting his in mine. I was wondering how I would do this, should I be pleasant or formal or sad? I feel sad because I will have to cut ties with him right now and he did something I have a hard time forgiving at the moment, but at the same time I want him to feel that I am willing to give us another chance if ever in the future (and in case he is interested again) without me appearing like I will still wait for him. Do I say anything specifically like “contact me if you change your mind” or something like that? Or do I just keep things short and simple with a courteous smile here and there and just fade away from contact in his life? I am not really looking for a formal closure (and I don’t think he is because had I not made up my mind to cut ties, I think he will keep me dangling on his thread and chasing him) and honestly, I don’t think he deserves one from me (because he also started keeping things from me- just fading away instead of formally breaking up)

Also, do I unfriend and block him for a while on facebook? I know you wrote in your blogs that it’s not a good idea to unfriend+block (and it would appear immature) but I think it could help me doing a complete, pure and disciplined NC, then again I am worried it might be a great obstacle for leaving the opportunity for him (for us) to get back. I sort of need a strict headstart for this (to a point I’m hoping to imagine as if he’s dead) because I want to fix myself first. I do love him and I like his core as a person, but we both have room to grow and have to deal with personal issues first before having a mature relationship.

So there are my two questions: 1) How do I go about while giving back his things? Do I leave a certain message to let him know that I am still open for us in the future? and 2) Do I unfriend and block him in facebook?
Any advice, master Chris? I would like your good wisdom and guidance to check on this decision I’ve made because this decision is based on what I have picked up from your book and your works on this site, thanks : )

Chris Seiter

August 12, 2015 at 8:47 pm

haha master Chris that has a nice ring to it.

1. No do not block him from facebook. You will need that later to get back with him.
2. Do not give him options i.e. telling him to “contact you if he changes his mind.” He will do that on his own.
3. You don’t want to fade away, you want it to be abrupt so he is wondering “where did she go??”

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130 thoughts on “Is Your Ex Boyfriend Flirting With You?”