I’d like to have an honest discussion on how often exes actually come back. So, if you think your ex will never come back to you after a breakup you are definitely going to want to read this.
I figured that the best way to approach this was by,
- Looking at what the statistics really say about how often exes come back
- Looking at EBR’s success rate in comparison
- Looking at the major things I think we are doing that gives us a better than average success rate
Let’s get right into it!
How Often Do They Come Back?
What do the stats really say?
Well, what’s interesting about the breakup community is how little support is given to it. After all, it’s not socially acceptable to get an ex back and I totally get that.
However, for the purposes of discussion all we really need to know is how often couples get back together in the grand scheme of things.
To date, I have only ever been able to find a handful of relevant studies on the matter.
- WE-TV Associated Press Breakup Study (41% Of People Admitted They Have Tried To Get Back Together With An Ex. (source)
- University of Texas Study (65% of University of Texas college breakups tried to get back together (source)
- Study From Journal of Adolescent Research 50% Of People Tried To Rekindle and 57% Tried To Have Sex With Their Ex. (source)
- A Survey From BedBible.com (44% of young adults aged 17 to 24, reported breaking up and getting back together again, with 53% admitting to having sex with an ex. (source)
Now, when you take all these studies and average them together you get the following,
According to the studies referenced above you might be able to rekindle your relationship with your ex in 50% of instances.
Pretty wild, right?
Statistics say that your ex has a 50/50 shot of coming back.
But let’s have some fun with this. Let’s peel back the layers and look at my coaching clients and the results my wife and I typically get.
After a bit of a haitus the two of us just recently started taking on coaching clients again for the first time since 2021 and already the results have been interesting.
Looking At The Ex Recovery Coaching Results Over The Years
First I’d like to set the stage by having you watch this video,
There’s a couple of interesting things to note here,
Our Average Success Story Timeframe For Our Clients Occurs Approximately 5.2 Months After They Begin Working With Us
Our research has suggested that you have a 48.25% (you can round it up to 50% if you want) chance of getting your ex back without our help (Source).
However, a recent study of our coaching practice in 2021 has suggested that we have seen a success rate of 70%. Which means that our clients’ exes either asked for them back or our clients decided they didn’t want their exes back anymore and then their exes asked for them back after they had moved on.
That recent study of our coaching practice was done by looking at the last ten clients that my wife and I took on (which was back in 2021.)
7 out of 10 of them ended up getting their exes back using our approach.
It would have been eight but we had one client have their ex come up to them, ask for them back, only to excuse themselves to run to the bathroom so they can text my wife on what they should say.
This person did not get their ex back 🙁 .
But like I mentioned above, my wife and I just started taking on coaching clients again as of Feb of 2023 and already we’ve got some interesting data.
- Between the two of us we’ve taken on five clients.
- Only one of them has gotten their exes back right now.
So, what gives?
Well, remember above when I mentioned that the process with us takes approximately 5.2 months to work? It’s not even been a month yet. Given enough time and taking on a few more clients I’m certain that the success rate will get back to the 70% mark we established just a few years ago.
And I guess that’s what I want to have an honest conversation about.
What Made Us Have A 70% Success Rate When The Average Is 50%?
I think ultimately five factors went into our high success rate.
- Giving away our process for free and selling the accountability and implementation
- Kind of being “on call” for them which wasn’t provided to our average coaching client
- Really pushing for them to adopt more secure tendencies to overcome their anxious ones
- Being able to fit an exact game plan for their exact situation
- Literally getting clients to a place where they didn’t want their exes anymore
Let’s talk about each one of these things.
Giving Away Our Process For Free And Selling The Accountability And Implementation
Before a client even coaches with us they’ve been properly trained on our approach to breakups. This is because, unlike a lot of outfits out there, we give away pretty much our entire ex recovery process for free in the form of,
- Instagram Reels
I mean, sure, it isn’t the most organized in the world but that really doesn’t matter because really the way our business operates is that we aren’t necessarily selling the information.
What I try to sell is the implementation of the information.
All of these things help you implement the information because I’ve found that the hard part isn’t learning what to do, it’s learning how to do it.
Kind of being “on call” for them which wasn’t provided to our average coaching client
Coaching with my wife and I is different than even coaching with one of our trained ex recovery coaches.
More expensive for sure.
But it’s akin to working together. It’s intensive.
And yes, while I wouldn’t say I’m “on call” the scenario is sort of similar. We give you access to us. Answer your questions a few times a day basically for however long it takes for your situation with your ex to play out or until you stop paying. You are getting extra support that isn’t afforded to the average coaching client.
That kind of hand holding goes back to that implementation point I made above.
That’s the hard part of this process.
We Really Push Adopting Secure Attachment Patterns To Overcome Your Anxious Ones
The average person reading this has an anxious attachment style.
One of the things that we really try to do when we work with coaching clients closely is to help them develop healthy patterns that can lead to them having a more secure outlook on life.
We do this by basically helping them identify their anxious patterns and trying to redirect that anxious energy into something that can benefit their lives positively.
Being Able To Fit An Exact Game Plan For Their Exact Situation
Sometimes the traditional game plan approach doesn’t work or your unique situation needs a unique approach.
This is probably one of the biggest benefits of coaching.
We’re able to identify when you need to alter your situation away from the traditional approach.
Call an audible if you will.
Literally Helping Our Clients Get To A Place Where They Don’t Want Their Exes Back Anymore
By far the biggest thing you can do for your situation.
The one consistent pattern we’ve seen across our success stories is that they all get to this place emotionally where they have gotten over their exes. This ends up being a huge contributing factor for why exes are drawn to them again.
The problem is that it’s hard to get over an ex.
Having someone there constantly on your shoulder urging you to do so and reminding you that the way you are feeling is normal is a huge help.
That’s the secret sauce.