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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
jennifer
September 17, 2013 at 5:32 pm
The NC rule helped me get thru the 1st week after being dumped after 9 month relationship via text…The first week is probably the worst….I have kept busy with friends and my business…Yesterday, ex emailed from an anonymous account (knew it was him from nic and something he said) I did not respond and did not care…It seems he may be trying to re establish contact but that’s a big fat no go here… I don’t even want to be his friend…That is the 2nd time he’s dumped me via text and last week was the last time !!!! Moving on… Thanks for your site…NC helped ME detach… best thing evaaaaa !!!!!
admin
September 18, 2013 at 3:13 am
Hahah can I multiply your attitude and give it to everyone?
Hahaha.
christee
September 17, 2013 at 3:38 pm
I think this is great advice! ..I recently ended it with this on again off again guy who claimed he cared one second and blew me off the next ..he’s been hot and cold for about 3 years, I have ended it before but not to the extreme I took this time. I blocked him from every social network and deleted his number ..giving him no choice but to truly have to put in some serious work to get me back (if that’s what he wants) I even saw him out and made no effort to communicate i acted like i have never seen him before in my life. I looked good and smiled and socialized all night ..I’m sure he thinks I will be the first to contact him because For the most part i always have been …but not this time!..:) and thanks to you any thought I had of breaking the NC rule is out the window…thank you !
admin
September 18, 2013 at 3:11 am
You are very welcome.
Haha I am with you Christee! Keep me updated.
Kayla
September 17, 2013 at 3:26 pm
My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago… we were together for almost 2 years. Everything has been totally fine with us. I remember when he cared about me so much, he said he felt like he needed to talk to me just to get through the day. about 2 months ago he started to get distant. he tried to end it because “he doesn’t deserve me”. he really just had a crush on someone else. I told him to take a week to think about it. Does he really wanna throw away everything we have for the feeling of talking to someone new? Sure enough, he felt extremely guilty for even talking to someone else in the first place. About a month after that, he proposed to me and said after we graduate, he wants me to move in with him. (We’re seniors in high school) the first week of school was okay. Its hard because we go to different schools, but we put up with it last year… it was really hard though. the last time we saw each other, he was extremely sweet and clingy like he used to be. but two days later… he called me and said he wants to focus on school this year and he can’t do that if he’s worrying about keeping our relationship alive. He wants to do sports, we’re both in advanced placement classes, and I work on the weekends. Plus, I can’t drive, and he just got his learners. There would have been a lot on our plates. he said he wants to stay friends so he doesn’t lose me, and he wants to get back together in a few months… but I found out he went on a date with the girl he promised me he was just friends with. Now they’re “talking”. I asked why he lied to me about school and he said it was so he wouldn’t hurt me. he said he was losing feelings. I think he’s just trying to replace me with someone he can see everyday. I’m crushed. He was such a huge part of my life for 2 years. I’m constantly thinking about him. and the thought of someone else making him as happy as I did, kills me. I want him back. so bad. we haven’t talked in 2 days, when I got that little bit of closure. But I feel like he’s not gonna want me back. I was his first girlfriend, and he’s gonna want to know what its like to be with someone else. He’s just gonna fall for her more and more and I won’t even be a memory anymore….
admin
September 18, 2013 at 3:10 am
How quickly did he start dating her? I am trying to figure out if she is a rebound.
Kayla
September 18, 2013 at 8:15 pm
They have been friends for a while. And they’re not dating, they’re “talking”. They hold hands and apparently he’s already given her his hoodie : and about 5 days after our breakup they started hanging out. They see each other every day at school.
admin
September 19, 2013 at 2:19 am
Given her his hoodie…. OMG….
Sorry I had to.
Well, right now NC is probably best for you.
Kayla
September 19, 2013 at 10:06 am
So I’ll take it she’s not just a rebound and I’m pretty much screwed….? :
admin
September 20, 2013 at 6:50 pm
How long has he been dating her exactly?
CR
September 17, 2013 at 12:11 pm
Hi
he broke up with me after 6.5 years of serious dating.
He says I have changed, but it is not my fault. I should be awesome like I have always been, but the realationship will not work and that is his instinct/gut feel.
I did not know of the NC rules and other mistakes and did all of those. Begged him to take me back , called and messaged non-stop for a couple of days.
managed NC for few days but wrote/called/texted him again. 🙁
I really do love him, and he also says that he never stopped loving me and I will always be important and special. When we chat over text, it is all friendly and we share our emotions freely, he admits to missing me but still says we cannot continue the relationship and that there is no way we are getting back together.
He hints at how someone else will be good for both of us.
I have accpeted all my mistakes during the relationship and am working on all of what I understand. I joined a gym and am trying to be more social.
My mistake was that I became to clingy and started planning everything around him, I also started nagging him towards the end of our relation. I honestly did not realise all this and will never be that horrible person again.
How do I approach the situation, as my ex is still very receptive to my calls and texts, but insists only on friendship.
He says he is a broken man and can never love me the same way.
I know I hurt him, I want to fix this 🙁
admin
September 18, 2013 at 3:08 am
Well, for you it is actually pretty simple. Make it through 30 days of NC haha.
CR
September 18, 2013 at 4:00 am
Strictly on a NC rule now. Marking days off the calender and remmebring my desire to be back with him each time I falter. That helps.
Just not sure, what comes after :).
admin
September 19, 2013 at 1:41 am
Well, read some of the articles on this site.
OR if you want to know exactly what to do pick up my E-Book.
maeian
September 17, 2013 at 9:56 am
hi ur article is great! here’s mine we started as friends 1st I dont like him and he is too persistent that he likes me so we blossomed as lovers, I think I became too confident that when Im pissed off i can always delete his skype and he will add me again, but our last fight is when I broke up with him because he becomes needy also with finance at first its ok but become to abusing like im an Atm machine. He told me that he will prove to me that he didnt use me… Now im missing him, i told him i miss him and he is now ignoring me and so cold not clingy anymore… Can I still get him back or just simply move on? Thanks
admin
September 18, 2013 at 3:10 am
I think you have a shot as long as you play your cards right.
jess
September 17, 2013 at 2:22 am
My boyfriend broke up with me after 3 and a half years because I left his house in order to avoid a bigger fight he saw this as me walking out on him apparently…this is not the first time we break up but it seems as if everytime we “work things out” it all goes back to the same crap…do you think that after using the no contact rule the relationship will actually change for the better? or is this just a never ending cycle?
admin
September 18, 2013 at 2:49 am
I think it will take more than NC to change your relationship but NC is a good starting point for that.
Madrica
September 17, 2013 at 12:25 am
Chris, I started the no contact rule a couple of days ago after he broke up with me. We dated for almost two years. It’s my birthday. I thought he would write me and wish me a happy birthday. I’m heartbroken that he didn’t write me at all. What does that mean? I’m so tempted to write him.
admin
September 17, 2013 at 2:02 am
No there is no reason to write him.
Melissa
September 16, 2013 at 11:36 pm
My boyfriend lived with me for 2 years. The last few months I notice a difference in him. He was being more distance and I asked about it. He told me it was his job and that he’s been depressed and needed time. So he went to his house and I have not heard from him. Is this his way off saying goodby?
admin
September 17, 2013 at 1:57 am
Have you tried calling him?
melanie
September 16, 2013 at 11:04 pm
I need advise. My exboyfriend of 2.5 years dumped me because of trust issues I have with him.. I love this guy so much. Ive called and texted him over 20 times a day for a month.. he blocked my telephone number.. I miss him I did everything for him. I think I was an awesome girlfriend. I panicked when he dumped me so he thinks im crazy. He also told me he hates me and was an obbsessive psycho. .. I still have alot of his belongings and he told me he wants them back.. but he hasnt called me to let me know when he is going to pick them up. I love this guy so much and I was wondering if he will ever miss me and want me back.. I did alot for him..
admin
September 17, 2013 at 1:51 am
Yea, you really need to start up the NC rule!
melanie
September 19, 2013 at 10:47 pm
So are you saying if I start the no contact rule he will start to miss me??? I havent talked to him since sept 8. Is it too late.. we both said hurtful things to each other. . What do you think
admin
September 20, 2013 at 9:00 pm
No it’s not to late and you will have to do more to make him miss you. However, NC is the first step.
Pick up PRO if you want the full instructions.
Brief rundown though- become THE ungettable girl.
melanie
September 20, 2013 at 9:12 pm
Ok thank you so much
hystaraid
September 16, 2013 at 6:26 pm
hi, My ex boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago because he said he cheated on me, I told him I would delete his number. I did, but later this evening I saw his number in my other phone so I contacted him just a while ago. Saying, I deleted his number but I saved it again because I accidentally saw it again. I also said I won’t bother to ask how he was cause he looks fine. I just said I’ve remembered him.
Then I browse the internet and read your article and I was “gosh! I broke the one month rule” Can I ask you, about what I did? Is that okay? Now I realize I will follow the “NO CONTACT RULE”.
admin
September 17, 2013 at 1:35 am
You called to tell him you deleted his number? I don’t know why but that made me laugh.
You are on the right track now. Do NC!
hystaraid
September 23, 2013 at 5:48 pm
Hi Chris, September 18, he replied and asking how am I. I was so tempted to reply but I was in the process of NC so I didn’t responded. Now I’m worried if he will ever asked it again. Haha. I know I need to keep calm. I still want him. I wish until October 17, I would feel the same. The “wanting him” factor. By the way, thanks again (:
admin
September 24, 2013 at 2:53 am
Yes keep calm. You are doing the right thing.
Just find ways to stay busy. I know it is hard and harsh but it has to be done.
hystaraid
September 30, 2013 at 4:02 pm
Chris, I don’t know if he deleted or blocked me on one of the social network that only connects us. I noticed I couldn’t see his posts now. I’m still doing NC since September 17, I just got confused. He is the one who initiated the break up and told me that we could be friends as long as I would like to but his actions confuses me. But then I’m starting to get used of having him out of my life. Thanks to NC! Haha. Still want to get some idea from you why he’s doing that way? Thank you! God bless you (:
admin
October 1, 2013 at 2:20 am
He is probably either angry you are ignoring him or it is just a thing he is doing. I wouldn’t read too much into it.
visso
September 16, 2013 at 3:26 pm
hey! he broke up with me 30 days ago because he said he is bored. he seemed really stuborn without a particular reason. we dated for half a year. i really miss him. finally i m following nc rule since 22 days. but nither of us have contacted each other. after 7 days of nc , he unfriended me on fb ( i thought he wanted me to react ) but i dint react! this is for the first time i have resisted myself to contact him, so possibly would he be thinking i m over him ?!
are there chances that he will come back or contact me?
please help me!
admin
September 17, 2013 at 1:24 am
Hey you are doing fantastic.
I can’t gaurantee anything but I think you are doing fantastic.
Jamie
September 15, 2013 at 7:38 pm
My ex boyfriend cheated on me, so I broke up with him and we didn’t talk for about a week then he messaged me, and started asking so do you hate me blah blah blah. Oh and right after I broke up with him he asked out the girl he cheated on me with, the night he did he said it was a mistake he feels bad. & now he’s saying he still loves me and he wants to keep me around basically because we don’t know what will happen.
admin
September 16, 2013 at 5:10 am
Was the cheating a common thing? How often did it happen?
jeena
September 15, 2013 at 5:53 pm
initially we were very good friends. He had a failed relationship previously. He was very nice to me cared me. visited my place 2-3 times. We spoke daily for hours.in 3 months we became very close. I’m basically very innocent girl and believed everyone. He used to tell me not to be very innocent and keep a watch on my friends. one fine day he behaved very odd and I was literally shocked by it. came up to me and said that he had crush on me and was looking beautiful. I did not like his behaviour and he went on apologizing me for long hours. He said that even I had crush on him. the next day he had to go to his place all of a sudden(stays in hostel).I forgiven him and was back to normal as I was with him. Later when he came back we met and went for a movie. He suddenly held my hand. I went mad with that touch. he later came up to my place and we became a bit close(did not do it).with this I totally fell in love with him for sure. he became extremely close and I was comfortable with the closeness. I treated him as my love. We met 2-3 time later. I used to ask him for a hug and kiss .he would resist but later would kiss me and hug. This continued for a month. suddenly one day he came to know that I was in deep love with him. during that one month we spoke about romance but he never proposed me. and I trusted him.
he always said he never touched his previous girlfriend and yes I believed all this. then he said that he can’t love me. he is not suitable for me. he is not successful. he still loves his old girlfriend. I was like mad behind him trying to convince that I would support him. he was not good at studies and I was my college topper. I said I would help him in studies I would do all that is possible. but he never bothered about it. he broke up with me and switched off him mobile for over a month. I was crying like mad because the day before he switched off his mobile he said he going into depression and was taking drugs(how ever later I came to know that he was lying with me). but I was in no capacity to even tell him during that period because he was in contact with none of his friends and I can never expect any sort of help from them because I barely used to speak with them. one night I missed him like hell and texted him odd msgs to that switched off mobile and gave a call every minute. but he hardly brother to respond. after a month he gave me a call from a new number. he said he was doing well and that if I brother him anymore he would get into depression. he told some fake stories and yes I blindly trusted them all. we then had our sem exams and as usual I had to help him out in studies and I used to help him. he always wanted me for studies .this is for sure. Would yell at me for no reason. always harassed me that I would initiate the argument. asked him all questions. he gave up his old mobile number because of me( the fact was that he had the mobile number with me and he just switched it off). he would booze with his friends and say he was boozing and smoking because of me. he would argue in front of his friends. all with all these I went into depression would feel guiled always. I was desperate to tell him and show him how much I loved him. I would think I was responsible for all these and in order to tell him that I loved him very much he became even more irritated and broke off with him. for almost 6 months we never spoke and I used to get dirty msgs. I told him about it but he hardly bothered. he never sat and discussed with me. hours long we argued on phone. always said he had crush on me and only with it he came close to me. I never understood the difference b/w love and crush. later I went back to patch up and it was again the same case. I used to stick with the relation because he would understand someday my love. but no use he only wanted studies from me. he never helped me out in return. if I raise my voice he shout at me that I was asking him questions and this harassed him and is making him going into depression. he would cut my calls switch off my mobile and I would feel guilty as usual and apologise. but always had sweet words and emotional story when he had some work with me. if ever I asked to meet him he would make it a huge fuss drag the issue make it into argument and finally hold me responsible. if I would ask for a hug and kiss he says I had greater sexual feelings, always wanted romance. the fact was that he tuned my mind for the closeness and I bet that was the only time when I was happy with him. he breaks with me and I would run behind him ,the very thought of him leaving me is scary I said I would commit suicide. that night he asked me for sometime but the next day he said just to calm me he asked me for sometime. he simultaneously called up my sister and told the issue. though my sister has a 1% of knowledge about the relationship problems due to him complain I told the problem. as of now we stand separated. our relation is facing the problem since 2 years.
everyone says he cheated me used me played with me innocence and emotions. he is not handsome looking or not a bright student at studies. I’m bit fat but yes I better looking than him and very intelligent and active participant. I still love him and still writing this article because I want him back. none on earth will accept him but I at least want him to realise what he has done to me. I’m very much disappointed on the matter that he complained to my sister. he said he has done this so that my sister would convince me and take care of me. he says he will never love me. what should I do . the very thought of him leaving me is scary. I still love him he was my 1st love .I don’t know what kind of impression he has for me at least. I can say 3 years with him and still know him nothing
admin
September 16, 2013 at 5:02 am
I am a little confused here are you still with him or have the two of you broken up?
jeena
September 17, 2013 at 4:01 pm
he broke up with me. we are not in contact.
admin
September 18, 2013 at 3:12 am
Then you should probably go NO CONTACT
jeena
September 18, 2013 at 4:02 am
dear admin,
the fact is I love him madly. but the things b/w us got worst. he insulted me many times. none on earth will accept him even incase he comes back. I’m worried about it as well.
admin
September 19, 2013 at 1:41 am
Have you tried NC yet?
jeena
September 16, 2013 at 12:52 am
here the odd msgs meant in that night I sent 250+ msgs to that switchoff mobile.
nikita
September 15, 2013 at 5:20 pm
I was in relation with a boy since last one year. It waa goin good till the time when i askd him about our future. He did nit gave me commutment saying his parents will never agree our relation as ut is intercaste. For his family caste is all that matters.. N so he roke up with me saying will remain as agood friends forever. But then also v lived lyike in relation.. But he gave that relation a name as friendship.. Now whrn i asked him wether hez goin to talk to his parents hez saying will not talk to his parenta as he knows whatsthe end result and they will never agree.. He ended all relation with me.. I m dying for him every second. I want him back.. Pls help me out. It would be great help..pls help me
admin
September 16, 2013 at 5:00 am
You got put in the friend zone?
TEE
September 15, 2013 at 4:52 pm
My bf of 2 plus years broke up with me 4 months ago. Well he moved out but came back in my life 2 weeks after he left. He started staying the night we did our normal things together. He reason for leaving was he thought i cheated and i couldnt watch the things i said out of my mouth during arguements. Our relationship was very good otheriwse. We were like kids in a candy store all the time. I supported him in all that he did. I cant say he did the same for me but he has a amazing heart. So anyway he ended up leaving again. After the first time that he left…i chased him i called him i cried did all the things oppisite of the nc rule. But the second time i did the nc rule but he is cool with it. I see him often through mutual friends and just around town. But around the friends he wont talk but if i see him alone he will wave or smile. And if the friends mention my name he smiles. He really broke up ith me for no reason and im confused. I love him so much and if he came back i would take him back like nothing ever happen. He is seeing somebody but not in a relationship. What do i do? Leave him alone or have hopes that he will come back? I am the best woman he has ever had in his life. He has said it before.
admin
September 16, 2013 at 4:57 am
Hi There,
Well, the problem is that he knows you would take him back so there isn’t as much chase involved.
I would do the NC rule.
Nat
September 15, 2013 at 4:50 pm
If he has not contacted me for 30 days, does that mean he’s basically 100% over me? I have not contacted him either. He was the one to break up with me =/
admin
September 16, 2013 at 4:17 am
No, everyone always worries about this. Usually it means he is stubborn.
Nat
September 19, 2013 at 9:35 pm
I forgot to mention we were only together for 2.5 months (although very intense 2.5 months; we saw each other 4-5 times per week and spoke on the phone every day)
…so, with 1 month of no contact from him after only 2.5months of relationship do you still think he is just being stubborn, and not that he is 100% over me?
Second question…is it a bad idea to wait more than 30 days, like 45 or 60? I just feel like if i contact him at exactly 1 month it will seem like i have been waiting to contact him, and that i have not moved on with my life.
admin
September 20, 2013 at 8:58 pm
I would say that since your relationship was intense you should still wait the 30 days.
I wouldn’t extend it though.
Nat
September 15, 2013 at 4:47 pm
So i’ve been doing the NC rule very well. absolutely no contact from me (or him =/) for almost 30 days now. However, my one mistake (i guess) is that i also deleted him from FB within minutes of him breaking up with me. So, if he is supposed to see me having fun, going out, getting in shape (which i have been doing) i have no way of showing him.
Is it wrong or a bad idea to re-friend him on FB after the NC time is over? Will i look like i’m missing him or something? We don’t hang out with the same crowd or in the same area too much, so it seems like fb is the only way of him hearing about me at all, without me actually texting/calling me.
admin
September 16, 2013 at 4:19 am
It is not a bad idea I would just do it after you have conversed with him again and it wouldn’t seem out of the blue or out of place.
taylor
September 15, 2013 at 5:25 am
Ok so me and my ex just over a month ago after dating for a year. We basically broke up because we fought a lot. When we would fight, we would always yell at each other, he’d punch walls and himself, he’d say he hates himself and that hes gonna kill himself, etc. The last couple of times before we broke up he actually took a belt and wrapped it around his neck and i had to pry it off of him. In my opinion we had a good relationship except for the fighting part. Theres much more that goes on when we fight, but thats just the jist if it. He always blames the way he acts when we fight on his anxiety an his depression. Ive told my sister and best friend about a lot of our fights and they both say that he was an emotional abuser. I mean..i wouldnt say that hes not, but i wouldnt say he is. He was my first real relationship so i dont really have anything to compare it to and i guess i dont really see what others saw and how bad it was. I still love him. But we have a weird situation going on right now. Basically we broke up so he can work on getting better, then were gonna get back together in the future. I admit that i wasnt helping the situation when we would fight because id just fight back instead of babying him like i used to. I know i need to work on the way i handle fights. He says he wants to find a girl that can help him figure out how to work on his problems while in a relationship so we can get back together and make it work. I know that probably doesnt make a lot of sense to you, it doesnt even make sense to me. I dont understand why he needs to date someone else, then break up with her and get back with me? I kind of get it but why does he have to date her? Anyways, hes already found this girl. Theyve been talking since before we broke up and he obviously liked her because theyre dating now as of a couple days ago. We both agreed before we broke up that we would keep talking and have the same relationship we did. But it hasnt been going the way we planned. He says he still loves me and pours his heart out to me when we talk, even though we only talk like every couple days. Im sorry if you cant keep up with this, theres just so much to say! Ive tried NC but that lasted 2 days because he texted me telling me he was coming over to bring me the rest of my stuff and i said no..and we just started talking about how were gonna get back together again and be happy. I dont really know what im asking you here. I guess what you think about our situation and what you think is going through his mind? I just dont know what to do. I think about him constantly and i want to get back together even though we had an unhealthy relationship.
admin
September 16, 2013 at 3:54 am
I think you know what you need to do, NC for 30 DAYS haha.
taylor
September 15, 2013 at 5:26 am
Me and my ex just broke up after a year of dating*
Maria
September 15, 2013 at 12:26 am
My ex broke up with me last week after dating for a few months. We’ve known each other for three years through work as he is one of my clients. I was dating someone that entire time and he pushed hard to date me telling me that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that we are meant to be and that we would be married and have kids, etc. He said he was not able to balance home life with work life since he works a great deal which I knew. I was still hanging onto my ex and think that was the issue on my end. He didn’t know what was going through my mind but I was not the friendliest when it came ti situations. he is friendly with me and sends me group texts. I need to remain neutral because he is a client but not sure how to proceed to get back with him. I know now that he’s the one for me.
admin
September 16, 2013 at 3:41 am
Hi Maria,
You might want to proceed with a limited contact type of rule going forward.
Anna
September 14, 2013 at 8:57 pm
Hey,
I think I just failed at the non contact!
He broke up with me after 11 years and kicked me out of his house (I didn’t cheat on him, he felt neglected for months because I was starting a new job and having family issues, I know I wasn’t the best girldfriend and I made mistakes but I never deserved that, obviously there is no other girl involved).
We broke up 1 month and 3 weeks ago. I begged him, then realized after 2 days he made up his mind and left, no contact for 2 weeks. Then I had to pack my things cause I was moving in in another place definitly. So contact… I acted “cool and funny but not too friendly” so it went well. And he started texting me again, for stupid things, jokes, our cat, etc. I used to reply. And 2 weeks ago I was at his place to pack again and we started talking about us finally, I could tell he’s still very hurt and mad at me, but he told me he feels awful (do not eat, sleep, makes mistakes at work) and he thinks about us getting back together but not now, “if, if, if”…
If what, I don’t know. I told him to be carefull and not wait too long, now it’s too early but it better be not too long. Then he texted me again, useless stuff. He called sick from work for a week, felt bad but never tell me more specific things about us.
And this last week, I got barely no news…and tonight I f****ed up I texted him because today should have been our anniversary (11 years together)I feel so bad. It was a nice nostalgic text. He never replied. Maybe he felt I was down on my knees again, or he has moved on, I don’t know.
Is he playing with me? Is he really lost? Should I keep waiting and not contact him for a while or should I go and tell him I love him? He’s 35 yo and I feel like he’s going crazy, I don’t recognize him. He looks depressed but doesn’t want my help, it’s like I am the only cause of his sadness, but he broke up with me, not me. I need your help and a man point of view.
Thank you so much
Anna
admin
September 15, 2013 at 1:58 am
11 YEARS
Whoa…
He is going through a crisis of some sort and that can lead to a lot of breakups. I am actually researching a post for married people right now so that is why I know that.
I do think you should stick to NC though and definitely check out my E-Book if you get a chance.