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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Claire
October 28, 2014 at 9:26 pm
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend and me broke up a few months ago after almost four years of relationship. He suddenly saw no future in our relationship and I got tired of his attitude so we broke up. We have been meeting as friends since then (after applying the NC rule) and he shows all the signs of still being in love but he told me the other day (before we had an affair) that he was not thinking in getting back together although he likes to spend time with me and saying he loves me much. I am confused as he shows signs of interest (he always finds a way of contacting/seeing me if he doesn´t have news from me, he still has things in my house, he is always up to meet up with me) and disinterest at the same time . Should I try to get him back or forget about him?
admin
October 29, 2014 at 2:42 pm
He suddenly saw no future? Were there any warning signs.
Claire
October 29, 2014 at 6:15 pm
Nothing at all. One day he mentioned something about our future together and suddenly he saw no future (after having asked for kids, commitment etc before). That is why I was confused and I am still wondering what happened. It came out from no-where
admin
October 30, 2014 at 6:17 pm
Yes, any number of reasons can cause this. He may have not be ready for the deeper commitment. He may be coping with his past or your past. Its clear you don’t have all the information from him yet.
Claire
October 30, 2014 at 9:21 pm
When he asked for kids I always thought he was not ready but what pisses me off is that I am not able to get any answers from him. I have the feeling that he is upset with me and I do not find the reason. How can I find all the information from him? I have tried, talked to him many times and he never tells me anything
amazonkitty
October 28, 2014 at 3:26 am
i’ve been with my boyfriend for three years now we recently had the worst break up i broke all his belonging tv and all , bleached his clothes and destroyed his glass table , than when we ran into each other in public i attacked him all because i was jealous of him being friends with another female , but i was the one that broke up with him because he didn’t answer my text or calls for 6 hrs i believe him and her where having sex but we have a son together we stayed away from each other for a month but i was sending him crazy messages he never replied but saw them , not only that i was in my emotions yesterday and messaged him on fb and than went to his house where he said he wants to be together and that he still loves me but i feel so bad if he wasn’t doing anything with this girl and i did all this and i don’t know what to do anymore
admin
October 28, 2014 at 6:03 pm
Well, you kind of went a little overboard by breaking all of his things…
I am worried you might be painted in the crazy ex gf light.
Miranda
October 27, 2014 at 5:34 pm
I think my ex still loves me. He texts me once in a while. But im still confused if he still loves me
admin
October 28, 2014 at 4:22 pm
Ok, you might have to give me more than that Miranda.
Sylvie
October 15, 2014 at 4:25 am
I haven’t had any contact with my ex for 5 years and I deleted my Facebook account one year ago. My ex just sent a message to my sister (who he has only met once briefly) saying he had lost contact with me and asking her to pass his phone number on to me and to let me know he was thinking of me. She said she would but that the best way to contact me was my email and gave him my email address. Should I respond to his phone number by text or calling, or wait to see if he emails me. The no contact rule has definitely been followed!
admin
October 27, 2014 at 2:38 pm
5 years!!! I would wait for an email.
jordyn
October 9, 2014 at 5:55 pm
So im confused on a couple things going on with my ex, it seems he still has feelings for me but then seems like he just wants to be friends. We broke up in march, he cheated on me with his ex and was dating her after he and I spilt. I did the no contact rule and it worked. He texted me every so often to “check up on me” and I didnt reply. A week after the no contact rule was finished he messaged me again. Overall he told me he was sorry about everything and never meant to hurt me. But I accepted that and he aaked if we can still be friends. I told him I couldnt right now, becuase my feelings for him were still there, he seemed to happy to hear that and told me he doesnt want me to lose my feelings. I knew I had to though. So ever since that talk he comes around my work once or twice every so often and when we talk in person he manages to touch me alot whether its a punch on the shoulder or touch on the back or chin or even my hair. But he proceeded to tell me he and his gf broke up over small things. I told him im sorry to hear that. And he started asking me if im dating someone. I told him i was dating my ex and that we got back together several months ago. He dropped his happiness and kept everything simple after that. And now hes texting me more asking about how things between me and my boyfriend are doing and when I answer good he stops texting til next time. Which usually lasts for a week. He came back to my store a couple weeks ago saying he wanted to buy liquid cig. And when I saw him I noticed a huge hickey on his neck and asked him if he got back with his ex, he said no. And that he didnt want to talk about it. So I let it go and we went our seperate ways. But now he texts me differently. He wont ask about my bf and I, but he will ask me about everything im doing but when i ask him what hes been doing I wont hear back til a week later. Same start same end. So im confused on what he wants pretty much
admin
October 13, 2014 at 3:08 pm
Why don’t you attempt the no contact rule?
lucy
October 6, 2014 at 5:35 pm
Hey there. Just wanted your opinion.
My ex and I were seeing one another for around four months. Three weeks ago he ended it. I don’t understand his reasons, I think he was basically saying that he needs to be alone as he isn’t feeling well in his mind. I accepted his desicion. What else could I do and told him if that’s what he wanted then I’d leave him to get on with it. He text me the very next day to say sorry and hes texted me reguarly since. Sometimes we talk by text all day like we used to. He is usually the one to make contact not me. He sometimes calls me by the pet name he did when we were together. He still uses certain words when we text which were ‘our word’s. I havent asked him back. I haven’t brought it up. The question I have is do you think he’s still interested?
admin
October 7, 2014 at 1:37 pm
The pet names…. do you know if he uses them for everyone or if they are just dedicated to you?
lucy
October 7, 2014 at 2:05 pm
He kind of made it up for me
Jason
September 5, 2014 at 11:28 pm
So I broke up with my exboyfriend last year, I told him I wanted to be friends, that’s all I could offer, he was so in love with me that he agreed, he had to leave the city for 2 months, work related, he met a guy, they were together for a month, that was it, so he came back and we started to be friends again, no more drama, no more fighting, it was like the time when we first me, i felt in love again, but it turns out it was too late, he met a new person, older guy, now he is very much into him, I explained that I wanted him back in my life, beg for a second change, he said, All I can offer is a friendship, I said ok, lets be friends, So I became his best friend, and I was there for him everytime this new guy broke his heart, we decided to go on a trip together, and he ended up kissing another guy, that was it, I don’t know what we had, he is moving on and I am not! he still has contact with my family and he called one of my friends to go out party this weekend, Is this healthy? I have been trying the no contact rule for 5 days, I want to call him and be ok about it, I just want to feel free! I hate not calling him, but I also hate being there and watch how he is moving on with his life.
admin
September 15, 2014 at 2:40 pm
He cheated on you?
Can I ask if youll ever be able to get past that?
Casey percle
September 4, 2014 at 5:35 pm
Hello I’ve been with my boyfriend/ex for 7 months. When we got together he was going through a divorce. Once she found out about me she changed her time but he stayed with me. I was there for him through it all while he lost everything. I was all he had but his kids and grand kids were in another state so as time went on he missed them misrebly. His ex wife made it almost impossible to be with me and have a relationship with his kids also. He says he loves me and knows it will never work with her and didn’t want to lose me. He went home to visit the kids and said he was only going for 3 days. He reassured me he was comeing back and loves me. Well he didn’t come back. He cut off all contact for 5 days before he even called. When he did he said he loves me and knows I love him but he has to stay longer for his kids. That he didn’t go there with the intention to stay. He said he’s got to try for his kids I asked why he hadn’t even called he said bc he couldn’t. He was very upset and we were both crying. Since then I haven’t heard from him. They blocked me from any ways of communication. His ex wife didn’t block me from her facebook so I see they are together. How can he just go on and not care at all? Does he think of me? Miss me? Did he ever love me at all? I know in my heart he did….
admin
September 5, 2014 at 12:18 pm
Man this is heartbreaking…
I think the ex wife tempted him… Kids, grandkids.
I think he had legitimate feelings but I also think he probably has feelings for his ex too.
TMM
July 22, 2014 at 4:27 pm
I study abroad so we had a long distance relationship for a year then a week before I came back to my country we broke up because of me. I thought I didnt love him anymore so I acted so stupid. As soon as I got back to my country I knew that I was so stupid but he clearly showed that he not interested in me anymore. He started to seek for another girl. Half a month later,we talk again, we started texting frequently, we hang out 3 times and we still make out. He hugged me today he said he is sorry that he made me said, I told him it was totally my fault. I hate that he keeps repeat that we are like bro and sister. When we talked he talked about some other girls, I just keep silent and looking away then he noticed and asked what i was thinking. I want to get him back in my life so bad. I know he doesnt want to be in a long distance relationship anymore and i am leaving in 50 days. What can I do now?
admin
July 24, 2014 at 2:02 pm
What caused you to think you didn’t love him anymore?
Lolita
July 21, 2014 at 8:41 pm
Hey ya
So bacisally I deleted my FB and changed numbers, so it is impossible for him to reach ME directly. after 10 days NC He did write me a handwritten letter but again was blaming me, but did let me know i could always call him and he would always answer me and he is hurt (he dumped me for another but is blaming me by lying) he tried to make me indirectly contact him through my mom and tried calling on Skype the same day. I’ve been in NC. Today he sends my mom a text reminding her of MY doctor’s appointement because he used to drive me. Is that all good sign because it’s only been 2 weeks of NC, I don’t understand him.
admin
July 22, 2014 at 2:27 pm
I wish you wouldn’t have deleted your facebook.
Giannah
July 13, 2014 at 10:21 am
Hello , My Name Gigi and I Was With My Ex For 4 Months and I broke up with him close around the 4 of July So This Is Recently and He Lives Down The Street From Me But When He’s Walking Be Himself I’ll Look At Me 2 Times Then Just Keep Walk & When He’s With People He Try Not To Look at Me But I Wanted To Try To Be Honest And Tell Him How I Feel But If He’s Trying To Ignore Me I don’t Know How’s That’s Gonna work Because if I try To Talk to Him And He Still Ignore Me & Keeps Walking Then I Don’t Know But Me And His Older Brother Don’t Get Along So I Think He Told Me Ex Not To Talk To Me & He Listens But I Think He Shouldn’t But After we Broke Up We Hugged & Kissed Then The Next Day Is Wen He Start ignoring me But I Wanna Know Do You Think He’s Still Thinking Of me or Still likes me?
Please Help?
admin
July 14, 2014 at 3:08 pm
I am sure there are feelings in there somewhere.
Andy M
July 9, 2014 at 8:12 pm
Hi, short story I was away working in another country for 4 months and i had an affair. He broke up with me recentlym though he found out like 1 year ago. He says he is dissapointed, angry and no longer wants ti be with me. He started going out with girls and hooking up with several ones. However if I call, he answers; if i text, he writes back; he would even call me for some random stuff. He has refused to give me my stuff back and even offered to help me with some stuff.
I live in a different city now. I flew to see him to tell him the truth, “all of it!” He seemed in shocked, we talked, he said he was hurt. I told him I am sorry, he thinks I am only sorry because he caught me. I’ve been giving thought to everything and I regret so much my past action. I told him to look me in the eyes, so he could see how sorry I was, he kissed me and we spend a wonderful weekend. I left and 2 days later it was hell again. I’m not expecting for forgivness, I just want an opportunity to work things out.
After that, he went on a date with a girl,I got super jealous and he said we shouls stop talking beacuse he feels bad I’m sad. I stopped calling him and then he starts calling for random stuff (he could text, we didn’t have to talk). I told him I had to go to the city for a checkup. He ignored me. Then he would call me and make comments about thusrday (day I’ll be arriving in town) and stuff we could do. Other day he would be angry as hell and hate my guts and say he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.
I told him I knew i made a mistake (HUGE ONE), i went lookig for him to be honest (for a change) and that I was willing to fight for our relationship. He said it was a waste of time, that he felt fine “hooking up with other girls”, that going back together had no purpose.
I told him I was here because he lets me be here, i said i was not calling him back, that i was arriving on thursday and that he better be home. Next day he called and asked what time i was arriving to pick me up at the airport.
My drama is so confusing…I dont know what to do. NC RULE?
admin
July 10, 2014 at 2:24 pm
I don’t think he ever got over the affair…
Yes NC.
Andy M
July 9, 2014 at 9:13 pm
One more thing, during the weekend i went to see him, he took me to family lunches and behaved really sweet.
miranda padilla
July 8, 2014 at 11:25 pm
my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 yearsfrom our very first date it was so easy to be myself around him I what down all my walls completely and I knew I loved him that night we dated for 2 weeks before we made it official boyfriend and girlfriend he told me he love me only 5 days into a relationship. We love you too other so much at that time we are living with her parents and we would see you job there every single night it got to the point where in a relationship we never spent more than a week apart then I you’re in a half into it we decided to get an apartment together because he got kicked out of his dads house for reasons that is dad was just a bad person and his mom was moving out of her current house and into a smaller condo so we thought it would be okay to me live together and it was going well until I lost my job in november and I couldn’t keep a good job down and I lost my car and I was so negative all the time and I was finding every way to just be mad at him and not of this was his fault I was such a bad person that he got to the point where’s he didn’t want to do this anymore and we almost broke up I asked for another chance and he said okay and from that point on I did everything I could show him how much I appreciate him because I always took him for granted I never thought he would leave me because that’s how nice of a guy he was.are we use words ending in 4 months and I thought we were at a point where we could start looking for a house so we did and we found 1 and today I was supposed to put a deposit down on the house he told me when the lease was up for our apartment that you was going to move back in with his mom I didn’t argue with him because I knew that would be the best for him and I was going to be okay with it but then he said he didn’t know what he wants after we moved out ford sample he didn’t know is he wanted to continue dating me or not. Then it came out that he doesn’t want to date me anymore that we would be happier apart and I told him how much I love him and I absolutely no it won’t be true guys won’t be happier without himI don’t know what he is so afraid of but he is set on leaving and sticking with the breakup I don’t know what to do I’ve never felt this feeling with anyone else if someone has any opinions on what I could do that would be helpful because I am an emotional wreck right now
admin
July 9, 2014 at 2:21 pm
I would recommend the no contact rule for you right now.
miranda padilla
July 9, 2014 at 8:14 pm
Wow. Sorry I didn’t realize how misstyped that came out.
once i move out i will do that no contact thing. And i have hope that he’ll miss me after that.
But i don’t understand how we are so great together and we barley argue how he can just let go so easily. That hurts the most. I have no hate toward him cause i want him to be happy. But i hurt so bad cause he can just let go. Do you have any opinions as to what he could be thinking with doing this? (Mind you I’ve known him since freshman year of high school, he’s always been a quiet person always to himself. So i know he’s not gonna go looking for someone else. Him and i are both the same in that aspect)
I just wanna understand cause he won’t help me understand.
tori
July 8, 2014 at 4:32 pm
So, my ex and I have a baby together. He’s had a gf for a few months who apparently lives with him now. I am not comfortable leaving our son with him because I do not know this woman, what I do know is not flattering and she does not even have her own kids…and for some reason he thinks it’s ok for us to all hang out when he sees his son. He’ll invite us over or to outings with her there…it’s weird and very uncomfortable. My question is, am I better off sucking it up and continuing to act as if it’s cool and just hang with them and be polite or should I tell him it makes me uncomfortable?
admin
July 9, 2014 at 2:14 pm
Your ex is an idiot… Very insensitive to your concerns.
There is a child involved here so your child trumps everything.
admin
July 3, 2014 at 1:07 am
Are you fully divorced or just seperated at this time?
admin
July 7, 2014 at 5:27 pm
Or they can implode… Wait until they have their first fight and see how they handle adversity.
Most couples can’t communicate properly and its all downhill from there.
admin
July 7, 2014 at 5:21 pm
May I ask the age of the new girlfriend? Do you know? Tell me about her.
admin
July 7, 2014 at 5:20 pm
I see, but now he has a new girlfriend?
admin
July 8, 2014 at 2:24 pm
Sounds like hes going through some weird mid life crisis huh?
Amanda
June 19, 2014 at 12:18 am
My boyfriend broke up with kme because I was basically an emotional wreck. I was jealous, clingy, judgemental, mean, insecure, had no self esteem, no confidence, shy and I found it difficult to trust him. He didn’t doa nything; was just me because I let my emotions control me. When he decided to break up with me, I took a 2 week trip to visit family and friends. I’m ashamed to admit this but during my trip, we fought over the phone and also through Facebook messages. I regret that and if I had known about NC then, I would’ve started right after the break up. Anyway, it’s been over a month now since I last saw him. There have been times I tried to apologize for what happened, told him I was working on self improvement but he didn’t want to believe me. He wants.to believe that I haven’t changed. I’m currently on day 4, almost on day 5 of NC. I’m really skeptical at this point because I’ve been with him for almost 5 years and when he said it was over, I lost all hope. I still think about him everyday. Now, I do believe I can go the full 30 days without contact. “So far, so good.” I think. I still have a long way to go though. I bought your system and I feel emotionally stable. The only thing that worries me if my ex leaving me for good but I can’t bring myself to believe that. This is the most difficult thing I’ve never done but I have faith that I fan do this. I’ve never been in a heartbreaking situation like this before. I’ve never loved this deep before and I’ve never known true love till I met my ex. He’s THE ONE for me, I just know it. I just have to have faith that he’ll come back. I can’t afford to quit. Gollowing your guidance has really opened my eyes. Thanks! 🙂 I’ll update you on my progress. Oh and we had an honest, healthy, loving, passionate, caring relationship. We supported each other, loved each other deeply and cared for each other A LOT. We also were very honest witt each other. I miss him every single dat.
admin
June 20, 2014 at 7:36 pm
Well, I am glad you at least notice you have some flaws (we all have flaws don’t beat yourself up.)
Why do you think you were clingy and insecure though?
Meagan
June 18, 2014 at 10:08 pm
Hello.
A year ago my ex left me and I can honestly admit he had good reason to. I won’t go into details of that but I can assure you that it left us both in silence to one another for 6 months.
I finally got the courage to message him after so long and he replied a few days later. Since the initial email, we started sending each other YouTube videos and pictures of things we both like.
We are now talking on viber, just last week he informed me about his father’s illness and asked me to pray for him. He even calls me “dear” sometimes.
What I’m wondering is if I should open up and tell him that I truly miss him. The only problem is that we both live in separate countries. I have been planning a trip to his country in the spring and debating on whether to admit my love for him when I get there or should I do it now? Doing something like that over text or phone to me seems inpersonal, but do I want to miss the chance of getting him back now?
I could use some guidance for this situation. And I would deeply appreciate some advice.
Thank you kindly.
admin
June 20, 2014 at 7:29 pm
I think the reason you broke up is kind of important to know…
Sarah
June 18, 2014 at 11:12 am
Hi Chris,you have been such a comfort and I am going through a terrible time.We split 11 weeks ago.He says it is because of an incident where he found I was texting a very old ex when we split a year and half ago.I think he just lost attraction for me,we had money worries.He is adamant we won’t get back together.I didn’t do NC but he always text about random stuff and keeps in touch with my daughter.When we were texting a week ago I said I had to go into town which I did half an hour later-lo and behold who was coming up the high street!I asked if he wanted to go for coffee, we did and it was fine until the relationship came up.He said he couldn’t trust me etc.When I went to leave he stalled me and asked me to go into the shop with him where he was showing off saying he was having great time, got a job now lots of money,lost weight.We saw each other after that and it turned sad, I did try to convince him to come back, he pretty much said never never. He has text twice since, once to ask why my daughters phone was off (she said it wasnt) and when he got hold of her he asked her to ask me about a toothbrush charger!Then he text the next day asking if I had some photos. I feel like these are excuses and I have not responded (doing NC) I am so confused and wondering do I take his no never as gospel or still hold out hope? I have lost weight,whitening my teeth and joined a gym, I even look better a week after I saw him 🙂 please help me
J
June 15, 2014 at 2:04 pm
I posted a comment about four days ago and when I check I’m apparently STILL waiting for my comment to be moderated. But it seems other’s comments are posted instantly. What’s up?
pia
June 12, 2014 at 8:13 pm
Hi im going through a divorce with mine. He moved out, decided he wanted a divorce. I was hurt and upset. He moved into the same apartment complex as me. He parks his vehicle in a spot close to my apartment, when his unit is facing the same direction as me but its off to the side so I cant see his from im at. He comes over unannounced , and when he does call, he will come.over whether or not I pick up. If the kids and I are outside, he will come over even though its my time with the kids. He finds a way to touch me or talk to me. Hes flirtatious at times with his hands. And says he cant help it. He says he wants to work things out but his way seems.through sex. And if we talk about the past, he blames me for the break up, for everything that went wrong. He says he didnt do anything wrong and to.me.its frustrating. I get frustrated cause I do love him, but he acts like a pain when he goes back and forth and invites me to thibgs then changes his mind.. or blames me forr everything bad in the marriage. I really dont know what to do. I cant read him very well. I want it to work but dang it games, I hate games. And if there not im an idiot but I cant tell. Need help, please respond.
admin
June 15, 2014 at 3:41 pm
Have you read my ex husband guide?