6 Signs That Prove Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (And What To Do With Them)

2,942 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship (The Definitive Guide)”

Charlotte

March 26, 2020 at 8:17 am

Hi,
So I was in no contact with my ex when I recently found out he is seeing one of members of staff from work. Is she a rebound?
He broke up with me after 2 months of being together because he wasn’t over his ex and wasn’t ready for a relationship. I didn’t beg him to take me back but I did nag him for answers as to why he wasn’t ready etc. Then started no contact. Well now he’s with this new girl 4 weeks after he broke up with me and said to me ‘ I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship until I met her..’
Our time together was really good and he fell for me hard so how can he move on so fast??
Any advice would be appreciated!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 27, 2020 at 12:16 am

Hi Charlotte I wouldnt take it personally, some people get hooked to the honeymoon phase where they end the relationship when things calm down and then move on to the next person. If you want to get this person back then you need to work on yourself to be the Ungettable to your ex and show him what he has lost by not being with you.

Mary

March 25, 2020 at 3:03 am

I want to ask, usually guys dont come back after they have moved on. in my case, He has broken up with me last month, and 3 weeks after that (supposed to be our anniversary), he has a new gf and post ti instagram story to let everyone know. The funny thing is he deleted my picture (from behind) just a day before he post the story of his new gf (without a face), in a way I think he is putting up a show. but it has been a month since no contact, I’m just wondering if I ever have a chance? Im focusing to better myself, but I can see him getting better and moving on everyday (based on his spotify playlist where he listen to sad song less and less). I’m afraid when he has moved on, nothing I can do to bring him bacj. He also promised me before he wont come back. Is there a chance?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 29, 2020 at 11:16 pm

Hi Mary so as you have completed a month no contact make sure you reach day 45 and then reach out to your ex. Read about the being there method and how to implement it. There is also videos that have this information on Chris YouTube channel too

YMB

March 22, 2020 at 9:55 pm

My husband and I divorced in March 2019. By the summer we were discussing reconciling, then in September his ex-girlfriend contacted him saying she was unhappy in her marriage, never stopped loving him, he’s her soulmate, etc. My ex husband and I spent the holidays together and New Years, then in January he told me he was in a relationship with his ex, as soon as her divorce was finalized they were getting married, he never stopped loving her, she was his high school sweetheart, the time was just never right for them, etc. The ex girlfriend has been married twice, started contacting my ex months before filing for divorce/separating, and even invited him over to her house while her husband was away for the weekend. 2 weeks ago my ex said we could no longer see one another because he felt like he was “cheating on his GF with his ex-wife and she doesn’t like our relationship” but a week later when I asked he came over to our house, spent several hours with me, telling me he loves me, how hard it is not to contact me, etc, he fell asleep while we were snuggled on the couch when I tried to move his arms tightened and he said he loves me again in his sleep. He called me when he fot home that night and we talked from 10p – 3am (on a work night!). I’ve tried to tell him this is a rebound w/his ex, a romantic fantasy that will not last, but I’m getting worried. She was his GF in high school for 4 months, he left the state after graduation and didn’t see her again for 13 years. When he moved back to town she was going through her first divorce. They started dating, moved in together, got engaged, then he called it off a few months later. That was 10 years ago. He said she’s been talking about him moving in with her sooner than later and said she wants to be married by the end of the year. I’ve told him to remember why he broke off the 1st engagement, why he walked away, but he says our marriage taught him how to be in a relationship, he’s learned to “deal with the things about her he doesn’t like,” they’re both older now so it’ll be different, etc. Aside from being a soap opera, is this classic rebound behavior or could it be the real thing?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 28, 2020 at 8:30 pm

Hey there, so yes it does sound as he is rebounding, but also that he is remembering the past through rose coloured glasses. He thinks things will be different between him and this woman because of age. But she is going through her second divorce and already planning a third wedding before the end of the year. This does not sound healthy and to be honest can only end in disaster. HOWEVER, you can not tell him this, or show him this. It could end up being a lesson he has to learn the hard way. What I would suggest doing through is not having the intimate moments with him anymore. Have you followed a No Contact? That might show him that you are allowing him to move on and you start dating casually. He may then realise you are not going to be sat at home waiting for him to come back to you when he misses you and all this has gone wrong.

Katherine

March 22, 2020 at 8:31 pm

Hello, I was in a relationship with this guy for 2.5 years. We did distance for a year and we lived togetehr for a year then I had to come back home for a family health issue. Our relationship was always so amazing and we had such an amazing connection and he really saw himself with me and we both felt so good together so much love…and after a while when I was home he distanced himself when I most needed him when I came back home it was really hard for me but he would make me feel bad for being home at that time. He always said he would figure it out and he was in this for the long run and saw himself marrying me. Then things changed and he started saying he needed time and space and then he eventually said he needed to step away from the relationship and needed real time apart… I did distance myself but we would still talk and he did come to come and he called me a few weeks ago and he was crying and he was sad and he knew I was hurt and that he still loves me and missed me. He did express that he wanted to see me and then when it came down to it he said he wasnt ready right now and then I recently saw he was seeing/sleeping with someone else but He never told me straight up.. I confronted him and he said he got scared to commit and that it scared him that what we had was so real and good but he wants to experience other things… I feel hurt and I dont know what to do because I have helped him so much with issues he’d have and always helped him before even helping myself … I feel like he’s running away from his feelings by already jumping into another relationship.. but he used to work with this girl…he doesnt post anyhtign with her on any social media except for one place he knew I didnt have … I just started the no contact yesterday. He was still messaging me in the past weeks and talk here and there.
Fern

March 19, 2020 at 12:45 am

My three-year relationship ended 6 months ago. I was the one who broke up with my boyfriend because he was extremely manipulative. He also has trust issues and believe me, it’s the worst. I said I wanted to have a break because I’m already exhausted being controlled by him. Even so, I know I still love him. I just wanted him to acknowledge his mistakes and change for the best. 3 months later, we decided to meet since we already long for each other. I thought he has already changed because he’s been constantly texting me in that 3 months, that he’s sorry and never wanting to hurt me again. In my dismay, he didn’t. I was so hesitant in giving him another chance because I don’t want to experience again everything he’s done to me. We chatted on and off for 6 months. He was persistent of us getting back together, saying he loves me and he misses me every single day. I just wanted an assurance that he’ll change but every single time I contact him, I still see red flags.

Then, I noticed he didn’t contact me for 2 weeks already. It immediately bothers me. I checked on him and found out that he’s already hitting up another girl and they’ve been chatting and seeing each other for already 2 weeks. I got so hurt. I immediately went to him and begged desperately for us to get back together. I was so in denial, I thought at first that he just wanted me to get jealous. Unfortunately, he insisted he doesn’t want me anymore and that he is already happy with the new one. I know I had him wait for 6 months and it’s as if I took him for granted. But I just wanted to make sure he’s a changed man before accepting him again in my life. Now it’s too late. I cannot accept knowing he’s already thinking of another woman beside me. You know, he was very loyal and for three years not once have I ever questioned his loyalty to me. The feeling of him seeing another girl is not what I expected and it really hurts me. Right now, I am so depressed regretting why I haven’t reached out to him earlier. I know he still loves me, because he told me so. He even cried infront of me when we talked. But also told me he’s enjoying his new company now and just wanted to move on. He said he got really hurt and isn’t sure we’ll work out anymore. I know he got tired of waiting and I couldn’t blame him for that.

Do you still consider this as a rebound even after 6 months of break up? Two weeks before I have known about them, he still texted me he loves me. His love for me would not just disappear right away isn’t it?? I feel so hopeless though. I have watched and read some advices on the internet and decided to have NO CONTACT. I am in day 10 of NC. I was hoping this method will get us back together but everyday I become so anxious knowing their relationship together might get stronger and stronger. I’m afraid my ex is the type of person that could not afford to waste another months or years with a wrong woman. This adds to my burden that maybe he doesn’t want me back anymore and just focus on the new girl. After all, I hope we still have a chance. What do you think I should do? Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 30, 2020 at 10:28 pm

Hi Fern, so the most important thing that you need to keep in mind right now is that you ended it for a reason. He was controlling and he had trust issues. This is going to ring true to his new relationship especially when he is texting you telling you he still loves you, the guilt from that is going to make his trust issues worse. You need to complete 45 days No Contact where you focus on yourself, spend time with your friends, and start casually dating guys to see that not everyone is going to be controlling. It will give you an insight to how different people can treat you.

If after 45 days you still feel you want to get back into a relationship with you ex then you need to implement the no contact period. Where you worry their relationship will get stronger, short term it will as they are going to be in the honeymoon period. After a while that dies down and that’s when the issues appear in relationships. Especially ones where the guy is telling his ex girlfriend he still loves her.

Yash

March 18, 2020 at 1:27 pm

hi

So as i explained my problem previously. Last week I uploaded a picture of my on instagram and it did get a lot of attention. My ex did see it but he didn’t like it. However, a couple hours later after uploading it he chose to unfollow me. I was a but shocked that now he chooses to unfollow me. I haven’t unfollowed him because i don’t want to give him that attention. But what should I do? By him unfollowing me what does it mean? I do want him back but i know he is still speaking to that girl. I don’t know what is going through his mind. what should i do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 19, 2020 at 11:36 am

Hey Yash its just an emotional reaction so try not to worry about it and its good that you did not mirror his actions. Carry on as if you have not even noticed. As he will be looking at your social media even if he isnt following you

Maria

March 17, 2020 at 7:01 pm

Hi my ex have been broken up for just over 4 weeks after being together for 2yrs and 2 months. There was an instant attraction and like a magnetic pull to each other that neither of us could ignore. Never experienced this before. We lived together and my daughter 3yr old only know him as her father. He has a 17 yr old son. We have been though so much and got through it all But I had surgery 6 weeks ago and when I returned from hospital he was distant and broke up with me the week after. I asked him if there was someone else and he said no. He said we had to work on ourselves and our children. He said he hadn’t been alone since he was 13 relationship wise and I was the only other partner he’d lived with since he broke up with his sons mother 16 years ago. When he was moving out I overheard a phone call which seemed like a female who was having a go being at our home but didn’t seem like someone new because the reaction was familiar. He spoke like he spoke to me if he didn’t like something so seems like his ex before me… he has days where he’ll talk to me as per normal as if we were still together and then days where he will lash out if he doesn’t like something I’ve asked or said and says he wants space and needs to move on. He still sees my daughter when it suits him which is ok with me as I know he loves her as his own and to her he’s her dad. But I feel like a yo-yo. I want him to come home and work things out or start fresh but keeps shutting me down. In the beginning he said he loves me but he’s gotta do this then he said we’re done, then he said he doesn’t know what the future holds then he needs space.. I know there’s something still there but how do I work towards getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 28, 2020 at 8:17 pm

Hi Maria, so if you want to get him back then you need to start with a No Contact period, where you ignore anything he says to you unless you are talking about your daughter to which you limit your conversation. Read about the holy trinity and also the being there method, if there was a woman on the phone giving him grief about being around you then you may have to do the being there method at some point through this process too

Laura

March 11, 2020 at 6:31 am

Okay so my ex and i broke up in December of 2019, we were in a committed relationship for 3 years, had a place together and everything. Well, we fell on hard times and things got stressful. He ended up saying he needed a break and then we just kind of ended things on mutual terms because i told him he needed to figure his stuff out. We had never been close to breaking up in the past and always had a tight nit relationship with eachother, and then everything ended overnight. Well, I found the end of January, by a mutual friend, that he’s in a new relationship and they’re apparently “so in love”. He made it a point to message all my friends about their new relationship, but made it a priority to tell them to not tell me, because he didn’t want to hurt me? His words exactly. Of course they all told me. We deleted each other on all social medias back in December and i haven’t spoken to him since the end of December. It wasn’t a bad conversation either. I’m a little confused on why he felt the need to inform my friends of his situation. Don’t get me wrong, im still madly in love with this man. But he’ll never know that. A friend of mine recently posted a bunch of pictures from our girl trip on snapchat. She said he viewed it and then deleted her. What do I do with this situation. I obviously feel like the girl is a rebound. She is by no means his type. I’ve known him for a very long time and he was never a rebound sort. I’m obviously going to continue no contact, and I’ve gone a few dates myself here and there lately. Absolutely nothing serious. This man has my whole heart. I’m not hung up on him but im kind of afraid to start something new with someone. If he made the commitment to change and wanted to try again. I kind of want to be available for it. Is this situation worth waiting out? Or do i need to put on my big girl pants and keep walking.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 18, 2020 at 3:39 am

Hi Laura, I am sorry id love to answer that for you, but only you can decide what you want to do in regards of moving on or following the program

Mary Flores

March 9, 2020 at 2:07 am

Hi. I knocked on my exBF door. Randomly. It’s what he would do if we were upset. He would show up and we’d end up talking. Now that we are broken up he has the power of not opening the door. Ignoring me or flat out say go away. I don’t do it often. It hurts more in disbelief that I’d open the door to him but he doesn’t? Just hurts too much. My question is why would he open up this time? He says from behind the closed door” I told you I’m seeing somebody and I don’t want to fight about it”. I respond I just wanted to see you’re smile . I won’t stay long. And you said you started dating ,not seeing somebody . That’s different.. but he opens up and as promised I smile and give him a hug and I leave.
My question I need help with is when he feels like it he won’t open up and leaves me feeling like an A**. But he opens up this time with hickeys on his neck. He could of easily said he didn’t want to talk right now as previous. But he opened the door and I said why would you let me see this? I kept my cool and left. But my question is why would he hurt me this way,? Did he want a response from me? And how does my/his response show if this Girl is a rebound or not? I don’t even want to see him anymore. We were together 2 1/2 years. Had 2 major arguments. We broke up each time.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 20, 2020 at 8:46 pm

Hi Mary, so going to him when you are upset is not part of the process of what we do here. We need to give the impression that we are moving on to our ex to make them think that we are moving on from them and losing us. We work on yourselves so that we become Ungettable to our exes and they regret losing us. Work on your Holy Trinity, and try to stop yourself from being dependant on him when you are upset.

Ala

March 8, 2020 at 9:06 am

I didn’t use the being there method yet because I wasn’t ready to talk to him. So I post a beautiful picture of me traveling on Instagram story and he always looks my story. I post my story quite often. Then today he unfollow me. What does is mean? Is he done for good. It’s been 3months after break up. Btw he is in rebound relationship and. I’m not sure if his gf ask him to unfollow me or not

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 10, 2020 at 10:39 pm

Hi Ala, how long as his new relationship been? Sometimes they unfollow you because of an emotional reaction or of course like you said maybe the girlfriend asked him to unfollow you. But keep being Ungettable and make sure you are showing how happy you are in life on your social media for him and his new girlfriend to see

yash

March 3, 2020 at 2:28 pm

Hi
So as i explained my problem previously, i found out that my ex left that girl and has another girl. And its only been a few weeks ago when he was with the other. The girl that he is with now is really small in age, however she is in his class at campus. This girl was in his school. and she tried to come between me and my ex before, she was crazy about him. now it seems like my ex is dating her because they keeping posting about it and tagging each other. the way my ex comments back to her comments I’m finding it confusing. they making this relationship so public. I don’t understand how he could be with her when he knows i don’t like her at all. she’s not a nice girl at all and totally different from me in every way. Im finding this so confusing that this is all happening because its like he’s jumping from girl to girl. I do still love him a lot and i think apart of me still wants him. But i have been doing better and from the last time i spoke to him its been 23 days or more. Its really hard for me to see all this. Is this a rebound. because he was last with me a january and then left me for another girl and now he’s with someone else. also what should i do? will he ever realise what he’s lost?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 7, 2020 at 9:45 am

Hey Yash, so it sounds like he is a serial relationship type. Where he can not be single ever, so he lines up the next person to be with before he leaves the current girlfriend. IF you want to be with him then you need to be the Ungettable girl where he realises that no one is going to compare to you. But a person like this struggles to truly love someone because he isn’t truly committing to one person. Making a relationship public on social media is nothing to worry about either as his jumping from person to person means he wont be hanging around long unless he truly falls for someone, someone who makes him work for their attention, someone who is ungettable to him

katie

February 27, 2020 at 7:50 am

Hey my ex and I have been broken up for about 6 months now. We still had each other on social media and in December he contacted me and we started talking. I got so excited thinking he missed me and he maybe wanted to get back together but it turned out he just wanted to be friends with benefits. I said no because I still had feelings for him and he removed me from every social media. He contacted me on my birthday through iMessage and apologized for what happened in December and that’s it. I recently found out this week that he’s been in a relationship the whole time since early October and we broke up late August. He was still in a relationship when he contacted me but I didn’t know. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if the relationship he’s in is serious or just a rebound. Please help. They’ve been dating for about 4-5 months now. And it might sound silly but when we were together he would never comment on my posts but with his new girlfriend he keeps commenting under her posts. He’s very lowkey and he doesn’t show off his relationship.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 28, 2020 at 9:37 pm

Hi Katie so I always believe less is more, so the more he posts affection rubbish on social media the more he is trying to justify the relationship. I would avoid looking what he is doing on social media all together for now and focus on yourself, be happy and confident in yourself and use that to show yourself doing fun things where he feels he has missed out on by not being with you. If you follow the ungettable girl information you will see a change in your exes interest in you before long

Ala

February 25, 2020 at 1:56 pm

You said I should do the being there method but if he is happy with his rebound will he open to me. I think he might not want to cheat on his rebound.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 26, 2020 at 10:02 pm

Hey Ala yes but it just takes time, patience and understanding the being there method before you reach out to him. If you do it before you know what you are supposed to be doing you can ruin your changes. Make sure you read all you can about the being there method

Yash

February 22, 2020 at 4:01 pm

Hi
So my boyfriend and I have been off and on for four years now. In January i was with him one day and we got a bit intimate. The next week after that he takes another girl out for lunch and puts a picture of her as his status. I had asked him about it and he told me its just a friend. I was really hurt because i just feel he wasn’t respecting me and stuff. I told him i love him so much and i can walk away unhappy if i have to just to scare him. And he ended up telling me do what you have to do and he’ll do the same. All i wanted was changed behaviour. I didn’t reply to him and three weeks went by and he had posted a pic of the Same girl holding his hand. I was so heartbroken. I phoned him and asked him about it and he said he moved on and has someone else. I was so shattered because i still love him. How could he move on so quickly? Will he ever realise. I still love him and a part of me does want him back. I remember two year ago he did the same thing to me and went back to his ex. After 2 months he came running back to me. What should I do? I still love and want him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 2, 2020 at 10:06 pm

Hi Yash so what happens when we get into a on and off again relationship, you end up losing the “fear of loss” as they know they can get you back when they feel like it. So he most likely thinks he can get you back when he wants you, so you need to go into a no contact and stay there for at least 45 days so that he thinks that you are focusing on getting over him. Read about being Ungettable and focus on that for some time

Mummy Morris

February 22, 2020 at 1:35 pm

Hi,
Can you help my situation.
Myself and my ex were childhood sweethearts and separated in July 2019 after 13 yrs together 5 of them married and have children together. i made all the usual mistakes of begging, crying and sorts but come December i backed off and decided he was not going go come back so i fort my way through Christmas alone with my children and as hard as it was we did it. early January 2020 and things started to change between me and my ex to the extent where he started being more touchy feely and text messages had kisses on and he even said he missed me, one thing led to another and we slept together a couple of times, this last week things have gone a little stagnent with us and although when he collects his kids he is still kissing me, we have hours of conversation an are still texting each other but we have not slept together for 2 weeks and we both agreed that its doing none of us any good but my feelings towards him have not changed and i still want him back. but within a month of our separation he got into a relationship with a work colleague (she has 4 kids herself with 3 different dads), social media they are all over each other, he even got her promoted at work to work alongside him. he currently has his own flat and works 2 jobs to pay for it but has hinted in recent weeks that he is struggling and may need to get rid of the flat and reduce to 1 job this means he will move in with her which is killing me because aside to one of us filling for divorce its the next big thing he could do. i feel she is a rebound but as time goes on i’m not sure anymore and fear the worse. as at today they have been together 4.5 months and the 5.2 months will fall at end of February, now i am going into panic mode thinking i have lost him for good and that its over. to add to it this weekend he has taken her away this weekend for a belated valentines weekend and obviously we are not texting because he is spending time with her but its killing me not talking or hearing from him i think i have got too attached again i hate myself.
Towards the end of our relationship i had a bit of a tough time with a health scare to our son so went into a bit of a meltdown and neglected my husband but have come out the other end in a much better space but by then it was too late but i just wish he would give me the opportunity to show him i have changed and things can get better, do i just give up now?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 3, 2020 at 9:25 pm

Hey Mummy Morris – 1 I am glad your son has come out the other end after the health scare, however that is NO EXCUSE for your husband to feel neglected you are his partner not his mother! So do not blame yourself for this, it takes two to make a relationship end and if you were struggling with something he should have supported you as your husband. However at this point yes it could still be a rebound with this other woman, maybe even grass is greener if she is giving him more of attention right now as it is all new for him. I would suggest that you pull back and complete a limited no contact, during which time you need to read about being ungettable, the being there method and start being more social with your friends going out in the evenings, even ask him to babysit and tell him you are going out with a friend, not stating if it is female or male. Let him think you are moving on and let him worry that he is not going to be the only man in your and the kids lives going forward

Larissa

February 15, 2020 at 1:39 pm

Hello!
(First: I’m from Brazil, so, I’m sorry for my bad english)

Well, I started to dating him in 2009, then we broke up in 2012.. I was still in love with him and we kept seeing each other sometimes… but we stopped.. I had some dates so did he.
Until 2014, that he came back to me and I accepted. And it was very great, but there was some issues like, not being openly clear about our relationship.
And last year, 2019, things were becoming cold between us, and I didn’t realize it. I was not in a good place we’re more like friends… I tought it was just a phase – beacuse I was starting seeing him as my future.
In december he broke up with me, saying there was no more chemestry between us, that he didn’t want to have a relationship with me even tough he loves me as a person.

I was heartbroken – And started overthinking it all and working to be a better person but I still talked to him sometimes – and 3 weekes after we broke up I discovered he was on a date with a new girl – beautiful and compatible with him. He’s seeing her with frequency and started to go out with her and some friends that are mine too.
I don’t think it’s a rebound – its been a month that they’re staying togheter – I’m at NO CONTACT, just a Happy Birthday message between that and..
I don’t know if there’s enough clues for me to have certain that this is a rebound… dispite how quickly he did move on and that is new yet.. There’s anything I can do? After more than a month at no contac should I start talk something? To be present or should I wait for this relationship ends? (If it ends)

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 17, 2020 at 10:43 am

Hey Larissa, you do not reach out for a Happy Birthday text during no contact you just don’t send one at all. You need to complete a 30 day no contact and then reach out following the being there method information, which you can find on this website too

Ala

February 15, 2020 at 2:23 am

My ex and I have been together for about 2 years then he broke up with me on December 28 last year. I have begged and pleaded for 2 weeks then I go for no contact for a month. I heard that he seeing someone new on January 8 . They has been spending time with each other a lot. but I keep no contact till one month. I decided to texted him and he texted me back quickly with short answer sometimes. Then on February 14 they post picture on instagram says happy Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if she is a rebound or not because we were in a long distance relationship. He is a serial rebounder. This is so painful

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 17, 2020 at 10:11 am

Hey Ala so as you said he is a serial rebounder so he is not able to be alone for long so chances are he is just filling the void from feeling alone. I suggest that you start following the being there method if you want to get your ex back, but you also need to do work to become the Ungettable girl so that he feels you are the best person for him and that no other girl is going to compare to you

Kate

February 10, 2020 at 12:58 pm

I am at a loss.My partner of 15 years left me but we still live together. After just two weeks he went on a date with a new co-worker and after just 2 dates they announced that they are in a relationship. I feel like none of the techniques apply to me and I don’t know what to do. He says he still have feelings for me but i was too controlling and he doesn’t want to give us another chance. I’m in therapy now so I am changing rapidly but I have no idea what can be done to get him back 🙁

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 11, 2020 at 11:28 pm

Hi Kate, it is difficult to show change when he is going to be focused on the more recent negatives. However you need to follow the rules of Limited No Contact, you need to avoid asking him any questions regarding the new woman. And I would also avoid conversation with him about what you are doing with your life, go out and come home late. If he asks where you have been “out with a friend” If you share children (as you have not stated) Make sure that you are in contact with him regarding them but other than that there is no need to converse unless its about the house and shared responsibilities.

Hafsa

January 30, 2020 at 8:35 pm

Hey,
I have broken up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years, about 3-4 months ago. In these months he has flirted with me but talked crap about me behind my back. When he found out a guy was interested in me, he told me to block him out my life.
But then 2 weeks ago he told me he loved me and told me he’d like to get back with me. But now I have found out that he wants to get with this girl that he barely knows. He has been talking to her a lot and showed me his chats with her. She is also older than him. We are in the same group chat together as we have mutual friends. He purposely asks me what I think about this girl and him being together and brags about this girl all the time. He is really adamant about being in a relationship with her but then still wants to play with my feelings by telling me that he feels moments of nostalgia when he sees me.
I have taken him off my snapchat and he texted me asking why. He has also told my friend that he still believes I’m in love with him.
Our breakup didn’t end amicably either, I really do not know what to do. I feel as though just as I’m moving on, he does something or the other to try and make sure I’m not moving on

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 12, 2020 at 9:00 pm

Hi Hafsa, if you are wanting to move on you need to No contact your ex regardless of what they do to upset you or make you feel that you can not move on. It is unfair that when you start to feel better your ex is allowed to affect your emotions in some way again.

June

January 29, 2020 at 2:13 am

hi, Chris
This June, my ex and i started broke-up since Mar 2019. But seemed like we just stopped contacting to each other for 12 days. Then, he started contacting me. I was so happy, and of course have done everything i shouldn’t. You can imagine. I gave him too much pressure and eventually, he told me ” friend only” during New Year. But 10 days after, I figured out he was contacting another lady. He told me to stop to his house anymore, because he started not to be serious and probably not be alone at home all the time. I was so hurt, not only because he left me again, but also the way he chose. He said, he doesn’t care how the people judge him. He just want to what he want. I almost died last week. But getting better now. I love him, even though he is not perfect. He just don’t know how to deal with emotions. But he doesn’t realize that. BTW, during our first breaking up period. He told me he was seeing a lady from time to time. I figured out it was his ex-girlfriend. He acquiesced. But he told me last week, they are totally done. I don’t think he is a bad guy, actually when he came back to me in August 2019. He told me all the time, he need space and he is not ready for a relationship with anybody. I just didn’t get it.( we have cultural difference, i am Chinese, He is European.) January 24th, I sent him a lot of messages, all about my feelings. But not blamed him, I told him I understand him, respect him. If he thinks that’s the best way for him, just do it. and wish he can find the happiness with the new lady. He wrote me back, said “stop writing, it doesn’t change anything. Only make it even worse.” then, i stopped. But next day, I had a test. I sent him my test result ( because he was concerning about it). He only gave me a thumb up. From that moment, I stopped. Yesterday, he sent me a message about my check( I worked for his company for couple days as a interpreter couple months ago, he was tracking my check from department to department), I responded two hours later, “thank you for checking” then, he wrote me back some details he has done. I said “okay, thanks a lot”. We are pretty quite now. I think he is in a rebound relationship now. Do i need no contact or not? I am trying focus on myself, study hard and do exercise everyday. i want to be the pretty, confident lady again.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 7, 2020 at 8:37 pm

Hey June yes you do need to do a No Contact! You need to work on yourself during that time and then reach out using a text that Chris suggests

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