How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule- A Comprehnsive Guide

1,044 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”

Tara

April 30, 2021 at 6:29 am

Hi there, we sorted of broke up because he slept with someone else, he was afraid of commitment and I kind of ‘enforced’ this, and then 2 days after he told me he slept with someone. So then we spoke that we will continue to see each other but have no commitments. He is on my facebook contacts. I want to do a no contact rule (as I was the only one almost always initiating contact). He is watching my stories constantly. Should I block him from seeing my stories? Please help

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 30, 2021 at 11:37 am

Hi Tara, so if you want a relationship with him then you should not agree to FWB situation. I would not block him but I would NC him and show him that you are not going accept being an “option” rather than a real relationship, if that is what you want from him.

Nicole

February 28, 2021 at 9:27 pm

I’m on day 5 of NC after my ex broke up with me. His reasoning was that he needed to work on himself and didn’t like how we both have been the past month. He said he wants to see how things are in 3-4 months but I told him that’s not my style. I didn’t beg and just immediately went to focusing on myself. During the break up he said he knows he won’t find someone better than me and I do actually agree with that. I’m a huge catch and I got away from that at the end by trying to cater to whatever he needed. I think he lost respect for me honestly. Anyway he now is the first to view my stories and I can feel him lurking in the background as he still follows me on all social media. I posted a pic today and within an hour or so he texted me saying he was going to drop my stuff off. He ended up dropping off a blanket and (half eaten) candy that I had at his place. I said thank you and left it at that. Any thoughts here? Is he done or was this an excuse to talk to me?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 9, 2021 at 10:08 pm

Hi Nicole I think the drop off was an attempt to see you – but it great how you handled it being in No Contact, you need to be sure that you are sticking with it to allow him to miss you.

Zheendar

February 28, 2021 at 5:23 am

I have no contact in place but my ex boyfriend is my neighbour. When I leave my house I have no choice but to see him. How can I feel strong and continue with no contact?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 17, 2021 at 9:31 pm

You need to follow the rules of NC and just hope to avoid him, but if you happen to pass each other, you say hello politely and keep walking.

Marianne G Messina

February 17, 2021 at 7:33 pm

I met my boyfriend in September and we got along immediately sharing many deep feelings. Then coronavirus he was sick on all December I was sick all of January and we didn’t get to see each other. He was never a big texter so many times he would wait for me to text and if I didn’t he would say what was wrong why didnt I text him. We had a date for him to come over but he had fallen in a parking lot and had to go to the hospital. I didn’t text him the next day and he texted me asking what was wrong he said I felt I was distant and that he thought I was done. I said no and told him I missed him. And then I reason I’m texting him like I always would in the morning. I sent him a text and he never answered me and I got upset and I didn’t text him for 5 days and he didn’t text me either. I did reach out to him on the sixth days saying sorry I didn’t text him I had personal stuff was going on. He answered me. I text him the next day to say Happy Valentine’s Day and he answered thank you you too and then I text him asking if you wanted to come over and he never answered. So should I give him no contact? He never said anything about not seeing each other anymore. I don’t know if this is his way of waiting for me you’re ghosting me.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 19, 2021 at 12:31 pm

Hi Marianne, so I would suggest that you do a short NC 21 days as he seems disinterest in conversation but has not actually ended things with you, give him a chance to chase you a little be less available to him. Check out this article to help you understand more about ghosting – https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-to-do-if-your-ex-boyfriend-ghosted-you/

Maria

January 15, 2021 at 1:44 pm

Thanks, I love your web site❤️
But what do I do if he shows up at my house to talk when I’m returning home? Should I just walk past him?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 15, 2021 at 5:24 pm

If he is turning up at your place, hopefully it is to get you back and then you can talk things through. If he is there and not wanting to reconcile just tell him you will be in touch soon and to please leave as right now you do not want to speak with him. Go inside and let him leave.

Angie

January 12, 2021 at 7:45 am

Doing no contact after a massive emotional spiral. Got a trainer joined the gym. However he uses the same gym at the same time. I cnt alter my training sessions cuz that’s how I am scheduled. Small town so only have one big reputable gym. I am going to work on myslf and my image. But I see him there everyday. I smile and wave as hi and he does the same. He stares when I work out with the trainer. But it’s getting hard because of the awkwardness. I wish I if change the gym but I can’t cuz it’s paid for already. Prior to no contact I had stablizied from emotional spiral. N told him that I respect his space and would prefer he be the 1st 1 to talk. But I feel like saying that might have been what made things awkward. I try my best to concentrate on my work outs and I do but the awkwardness makes me feel weirs. I don’t Wana reach out, or go to him and initiate a convo. I don’t Wana do that. But how do I deal with this situation?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 27, 2021 at 10:13 pm

Hi Angie, so you need to keep going as you are and make sure that you are focusing on you. In this program we suggest that you do send the first text and reach out first. There are articles to help you understand the types of texts to send for the first time, Chris also has YouTube videos to help you understand too.

Lisa

December 30, 2020 at 8:09 pm

What if he texts me and simply said “my mom is Covid-19 positive” after I have been ignoring all other messages (it was a messy break-up and I left him). I want him back just he has to fix a lot of drama he has.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 30, 2020 at 8:15 pm

I would suggest you reply along the lines of “Hope she recovers soon, send her my love” and nothing else

Maya

December 16, 2020 at 8:06 pm

Hi! These articles have helped me but also made me realise some unwanted, but necessary truths. The guy I’ve been dating for 6 months needed a break due to personal reasons, and I said okay. I realized after a few days that we hadn’t set any ‘rules’ to the break, so a week later I texted him and asked if it was over or we were still exclusive and would talk in after a month or what? He left me on read. So I foolishly sent two messages two weeks later and asked him to kindly answer the question and if he didn’t, I would take it as we were now ending our relationship, but I still wanted to see him some day in the future if we were both single. That was 6 weeks ago and I don’t know what to do. Will he ever write me back? At least acknowledge that we’re over?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 30, 2020 at 7:11 pm

Hi Maya, so you need to stop reaching out and follow the no contact rule where you work on yourself and accept that a break is the same as a break up essentially as they feel they need time away from you and the relationship. If you have spent 45 days in no contact then you can start reaching out with Chris’ texting style but make sure that you prepare yourself for all outcomes.

Didsi

December 2, 2020 at 10:31 am

What if my ex wishes me happy holiday after about a month of no contact? How does one respond?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 2, 2020 at 5:02 pm

If you are in No Contact, do not reply. If you have completed your NC then you should be reaching out to them using Chris’ advice and methods

Sven

November 19, 2020 at 8:26 pm

My ex has a monthly subscription and didn’t update her new address in time for the most recent package? I don’t want to contact her and tell her that it’s here. I just don’t want to come off like I’m keeping it from her

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 20, 2020 at 5:15 pm

Hi Sven if se wants it she can reach out to you asking for it, which you can reply to when is a suitable time for her to collect. No other conversation needed.

ABENA ACQUAH

July 14, 2020 at 9:21 am

So i am in an off and on dating/friendship with this guy he is not ready to commit hence i lay it out that this cant continue and i move on with my life so I actiavte the N/C rule however just a week into the N/C rule this my friend calls me that he is sick what should i do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 14, 2020 at 4:33 pm

Hey Abena, you say he is sick. Is it life threatening? Or just unwell? If he is seriously ill then you could send a message wishing him better. If he has some illness that he will get over in a matter of days then stick with NC

Jessica

July 13, 2020 at 5:06 pm

My boyfriend who I was living with and had been with for five years broke up with me a few days ago. I went to stay at my parents and have been doing nc and only texted with him once about piking up some of my stuff. The broblem is before we broke up my family and my boyfriend and I had booked a weekend at a beach house together. My boyfriend says he still has to go because it’s booked under his name and my family is going because it’s already been paid for. I really want to go too and would feel bad about missing it just because of him and letting him “win”. But it would only be 18 days into the no contant. Is it better to not break the no contact rule and cancel going with everyone or do you think I can go and break the nc even tough I want him back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 5, 2020 at 10:42 pm

Hi Jessica, I think if you went you would need to make sure that you avoid spending time with him as much as possible, by going off and doing your own thing with your family etc. Does he even know that your family still plan on going? You will need to make sure that you work on yourself in this time, read about the holy trinity and being ungettable

Tina

June 17, 2020 at 9:58 am

Hi I wrote a very important comment earlier today and got locked out of my email. If possible to please send any email notifications to the new one below that would be appreciated. Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 17, 2020 at 10:18 am

Hi Tina I have already replied to your previous comment

Tina

June 17, 2020 at 8:31 am

Hi. I have been seeing someone above me at work for the past year. Recently, I was let go by them and lost my job. We continued to see each other, but were apart for over a month in lockdown, and then reunited. When we reunited, he was incredibly mean and cold with me for no apparent reason. He’d then look visibly guilty for being unkind and we would have sex which seemed to alleviate things for that day. I have believe he’s started seeing someone else. We were meant to discuss what was going on with our relationship when I got sick and had to quarantine. During quarantine, I received a message that he left town and we’d have to meet when he got back. I never responded as I was very sick. I was thinking he would either write again to see how I was feeling or to let me know when he returned, but never heard from him again. I initiated NC after I received his message even though we haven’t formally broken up. I’m on day 12 of NC (the last text I sent) but he wrote that message 8 days ago. Should I continue NC even though we haven’t formally ended or is this damaging something that isn’t officially over? Is there anything else I should do? Trying to focus on healing and getting better. We weren’t able to have our talk where I assumed we would end things. Ideally if it is over I’d like for us to talk to end it properly – this is incredibly important to me. If it isn’t over, I hope we can fix whatever is broken. Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 17, 2020 at 10:15 am

Hi Tina, yes stick with your NC until the end and read some articles to prepare for your first reach out that Chris suggests.

Lyndsie

June 3, 2020 at 3:56 pm

I was dating a guy for several months. Long story short, I was led on to believe things were going somewhere and he was going to make me his girlfriend. He unexpectedly broke things off with me to pursue another girl (I had no idea at the time). I backed away and he would periodically text from time to time just being casual because he wanted to stay friends. Once I found out he made the new girl his girlfriend, I backed off and went no contact and blocked him on social media to heal. I stayed in no contact for 7 weeks. When I finally felt like I was over him, I unblocked him on social media. Now I see that he has me blocked. Why did he block me when he already moved on with a new girlfriend?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 3, 2020 at 9:06 pm

Hey Lyndsie, he could have blocked you – because you blocked him. Or the new girlfriend asked him to do so.

Anon

May 28, 2020 at 10:53 am

Hi. I think my situation is slightly different because we lived together in his house for the last 3 years and were engaged. I had my own house but my mother moved in after my dad died. During covid lockdown I stayed with mum as my partner works with covid patients and I wanted to keep her company. My ex and I have been house hunting to get a bigger house and for mum to move in with us too, even before covid. For the first few weeks of living apart he was sending cards daily with lovely messages about how much he’s missing me. Then…. my mum passed away ( non covid related). Still in lockdown I moved to my aunts house with family and to be around people when my ex continued to work. He came to visit on every day off and still wanted to continue house hunting. I became insecure in my grief and kept telling him he was not supportive enough and showing him messages from other male friends and telling him he should be saying what they are saying. 5 days after mums funeral he ended our relationship over the phone. He said he’s not the right person for me and feels fed up of all the arguments we were having ( we’d been going through a tough patch before all of this as I was depressed but he constantly told me we would get through it all and he wanted to marry me). Now, I’m still at my aunts house as it’s too painful to move back to my house just yet because it’s where mum lived and it’s just too painful to be there at the moment. She passed on April 20th. My ex left on May 20th, just a week ago. All of my lifelong belongings are at his house including my 2 cats that I had before we met. We’ve been together for 8 years but he’s left 5 times. He always wants to come back but last time was 3 years ago, he had a fling with someone and I went into a rebound relationship. Within 6 months he was begging for me to come back. We went to counselling together…. all his idea and we really moved on together and he proposed. The relationship seemed far more solid this time. He doesn’t seem to be able to handle a crisis but I still love him and want him back. I’m in no contact on day 8. He’s sent messages 3 times, one saying the cats can stay there as long as needs be and he will continue to transfer money to me weekly until August as previously arranged as I’m off work. I didn’t reply and the next day he text to ask if I need any clean clothes dropped off and he hopes I stay safe and well. I didn’t reply. The next day he text to say he’s only offered to drop some clothes off incase I didn’t have any clean clothes with me. He then told me the cats are enjoying the sunshine and doing well. Again I didn’t reply. He then text my brother to say he’s sorry about the timing, was t sure if he’d ever see my brrothers kids again and that he sends his love to them. My brother didn’t reply. He’s not text now for a few days. He’s working 2 jobs as a nurse until one contract ends in 5 weeks. I’m hoping for some time to get used to the idea of being back in my own house soon but at the moment it’s painful without mum there. What do I do? Should I wait for him to ask me to come and get my stuff? It’s everything I own and would need a van and at least a whole day to move. I’d really appreciate some advice with this as it’s not covered in your scenarios. Thank you in advance. Xxx

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 16, 2020 at 7:59 am

Hey there, I am so sorry for your loss! It can be really hard losing a parent.

While things stand as they are, you are doing great in No Contact and sticking to it well. Asking / telling your ex you are coming for your things is not breaking no contact as long as that is the ONLY thing you speak about when you see him. I wouldn’t rush this if he isnt asking you to come and get your belongings, do it at a time that is best for you, then arrange with him.

AG

May 25, 2020 at 12:24 am

Hi, I bought the course and completed it half way. I am on a 45 day no contact rule with an ex that I broke up with because he cheated on me and I forgave him then I found things on his phone. I tried to get him back 2 days after the break up and he said no he doesn’t think we will work together anymore and didn’t give me many chances to share my side of the story. So I am on day 17 of NC and he reached out twice checking how I am doing and I ignored and today he sent me a holiday greeting for a holiday we both celebrate. Should I respond to that one wishing him a happy holiday too or continue to ignore him? I am waiting till the end of the 45 days to decide if I want to go back or not but I definitely want to have the option of going back at the 45 day mark because I really like him and think that we could get passed the past. Let me know if I should continue to ignore him or reply.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

June 3, 2020 at 8:15 pm

Hi AG no you are not supposed to reply to holiday messages or any messages of that sort.

Alice

May 10, 2020 at 12:25 am

My boyfriend broke up with me over a very small argument that we had where I accidentally offended him last Friday. It’s the second time we break up and he did it over text again saying that the situation highlighted what is wrong with the relationship and that he “ could not anymore” Two days later he had to go to my house to talk to my mom about business and I talked to him outside and I told him that I would fix my errors And he told me there was no hope ( he is very prideful and i think that’s why he won’t forgive me) We were very happy in our relationship although it was four months and I feel as though maybe being together almost every day ( except when he was with his friends and family) during quarantine was too much for him. Do you think quarantine will maybe make him miss me and realize his mistake or want to come back? Do you think that there is hope for him to come back? Would the no contact rule work in this case?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 20, 2020 at 9:09 am

Hi Alice, yes the no contact rule will work as long as you stick to it and work on yourself in that time. You said he needed to speak with your Mother in regards to business so if that happens again you be sure to not be around or speak with him after either. You must fight that urge as he is going to know that you are still wanting to get back together. I would suggest that you follow the 30 day NC as this is going to give you some time to start rebuilding your connection

Ashley

May 2, 2020 at 10:26 pm

I have things to get back from my ex’s place, he reached out to me a few times to pick fights with me ..I ignored all of them until he blocked me and ended up speaking via email and a quick phone call to coordinate me getting my things. Since I am moving I will have some help and could possibly have one of my siblings go. Should I have someone else go? Would that be overly dramatic , I don’t want to seem weak

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 3, 2020 at 10:08 am

Hi Ashley if you could get a male friend – even if its just a cousin he never met to help you that would be a power move. But no it is not weak to have someone help you collect your things

Jenn

April 13, 2020 at 5:31 am

Hello,
My boyfriend and I were together for 6 years. He was the father figure to my daughter since she was a month old. On March 20th I found out he had reconnected with his high school girlfriend whom has a lot of serious drug and alcohol problems. He left me for her and I’ve been miserable since. I’ve seen him a few times since. He brought us groceries and came to watch a movie at our house with my daughter. His current girlfriend has now forbid him from contact with us. The last time I spoke with him he told me he’s making the choice himself to stay away from us. He recently changed his profile picture on Facebook to a picture of them togther. Ive now deactivated my Facebook for a period so I’m not tempted to look him up and feel sad. Also, I have a playstation like him and he has been sending me game invites and requests to talk in a party. He said she doesn’t need to know and he wants to be friends. I changed all my statuses to appear offline today. I’m now at 24 hours of no contact and it was hard. Do you think no contact will truly work?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 11:21 pm

Hi Jenn you need to do 45 days of NC so it is going to get easier, but I would not allow him to treat you as a secret. If you want him back then you need to complete 45 days NC and then reach out following the being there method.

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1,044 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”