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matt
March 23, 2016 at 3:45 am
I know this is generally meant to be a forum for women, but the forums for men are awful, and not very helpful.
I’m 35 and my Girlfriend (31) of 7 months broke up with me recently. I saw it coming, as I was away the
week before and saw her responses to my texts change and she would focus on replying only to certain
parts of a message while glazing over the sentimental stuff. When it finally came to the day it ended I
knew by her messages to meet up I knew that she was going to end things. I had felt things were off
somehow, and there were things I was not happy with in our relationship, but I had resolved to discuss
them with the hope of making things better. If she didn’t end things I was going to suggest a time to sit
down and talk about us.
That night she came by my place, we shared small talk of my trip, and when it got silent I passed her a
present that I had brought back for her from my trip, thinking that if she was there to end things that
would trigger something, and it did. She refused the gift and said we have to talk. I responded that I
thought something was up. She told me that she wanted to break up. I didn’t try to change her mind I
only asked why? What did I do? She responded that “it was nothing that I did”, she said “I was
wonderful, but something was missing”. I had managed to keep my emotions in check but this is where I
started to loose composure; I asked her to please be honest with me, that this was a common
occurrence in how my relationships ended with women, and that as an introspective individual I would
value her feedback no matter what. She said she didn’t know what it was, but that “something was
missing”. It’s a hard thing to hear that you were wonderful and did nothing wrong, and yet there is
something missing, so I became emotional and had to fight back the tears.
She stated that before I left she had had a realization, based on her reaction to a request I made that
she had not reacted correctly to, that something was missing, but she could not pinpoint to what was
missing. While I was away she had a chance to reflect and realized she needed to end the relationship
which is why she was distant in her texts to me. She said she respected me to much to string me along
and ended it on our first meeting upon my return.
I told her of my plan to talk; she asked me what my concerns were and I shared them. She expressed
that she really wanted to remain friends. It’s tough in these situations, but I honestly believe she was
being honest that she didn’t know what was missing, though it hurt that she did not seem to want to
work it out rather than end things without trying, and I do believe she wants to be friends.
It’s a long story to get to my question and maybe not the most applicable forum, but here it is: I get the
concept of no contact if you want an ex back, and I’m not even sure I do, but I do want to be friends, and
still need time to heal, but with her birthday coming up in a few days should I text her to say happy
birthday or do I carry on with No Contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 31, 2016 at 1:55 pm
Hi Matt,
sorry for the late reply.. Did you greet her?
Anya
March 9, 2016 at 7:31 pm
Hi,
I need urgent help. I am in a 8 year longrelationship with this amazing guy. We both belong to different religions. We know our folks will never agree to our union still we had always thought of telling and pursuing them.
Lately, my guy was relocated and promoted to a new place. Since then things became rough between us. I understand that due ro new responsibilities he did not have much time with me. However, he started spending more time with new found friends (some living in the same building) and i had no details of these people whom he hangout with.
He used to share every little detail of his life earlier but he stopped doing that. Instarted catching his little lies on matters so insignificant and things that were not evene supposed to be hidden or lied about.
This got me paranoid and i found out that he has profiles on different dating websites. I confronted him and he kept on apologising and saying that he realized and used it for few days only, which i know is true.
However, when we met after this cheating eoisode i was very angry with him and wanted to break up. Though i did kot fight with him, but i was upset. As soon as i told him that i am thinking of break up , he said that he has told his parents that he is ready to get married to a girl thaat they would like. This broke me completely.
However, he cried(literally) a lot and told me he loves only me and i should not break up. The way he sooke about his feelimgs for me he had never done that before. He cried so much.
But after returning to his work place, he stopped calling me. However he would pick my call and answer my messages. After dew days this really started to hurt and i confronted him, only to learn that he doesnt want to talk yo anyone as his life is getting screwed and he loves me but cant marry me so he is upset!!!
He talks to me still for hours but inly when i call him. If i dont call him for a day he will message me asking something. But i still catch him telling insignificant lies.
Tonight i brokeup with him. Because in the morning i was talking to him that how has he become so rude and that he never calls me to which he replied that he doesng want to talk to anyone. But i got to know thag he was out with friends
i love him, but i want him to realize that i am a priority and i am valuable. Please help me what to do yo make him miss me and come back to me and behave like he used to in the past
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 10:08 pm
Hi Anya
are you doing no contact now?
Cass
March 8, 2016 at 1:23 am
Hi, I broke up with my boyfriend of a year about 3 weeks ago. We tried to end it amicably and remain friends, but got into a huge fight. Since this fight, we haven’t talked. I’ve gotten rid of all his social media and am implementing NC right now. I know we aren’t good for each other, and shouldn’t be together. But I want him in my life somehow..I want to at least be friends. But I don’t know how to go about doing this. I want him to know I’m sorry for some of the actions I’ve taken, and things I’ve said but don’t want to bring up bad times either. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 10:26 am
Hi Cass,
if it’s just being friends.. just give him time..later on he’ll talk to yoi
Ria
March 3, 2016 at 3:10 am
Hi
I’m 17 years old and me and my ex broke up about a month ago. Before me and him dated we started out to be very good friends. We would joke around with each other and he would always sit right next to me at my lunch table for last 15 minutes even though none of my friends liked him. My friends did not like him because of the poor decisions he had made in his life. But even though all of my friends hated him he still made an effort to stay around me. I was introduced to him by my friend and after me and him met he would always make attempts to talk to me. I started to get feelings for him and I told him that. He told me he knew I did. But eventually I found out that he had a girlfriend. It made me mad that he couldn’t even tell me that he had a girlfriend knowing how i felt about him. We got in an argument over it and we didn’t talk for 2 weeks. Eventually he was depressed and i started to see it in the way he acted. I made an effort to go and talk to him. We started to talk again and he started to give me rides everyday. Then one day I texted him and he told me he had feelings for me and he wanted to ” try a thing” with me. We weren’t exactly official but we did kiss mulitple times in public. Every one started to notice it. I went over to his house and he tried to make me do stuff with him. I didn’t feel comfortable doing anything more than kissing unless we were dating. That day i acted really aqward. After we were done hanging out i texted explaining him how i felt uncomfortable and he said he respected that. The funny thing is the next day he asked me out. None of my friends excepted it. They didn’t like him because people thought of him as a “fuck boy.” But after he asked me out it was great for the first 4 weeks but everything was going way to quick we did things that i have never done with any of my ex’s. But when my parents found out about us dating things went down hill. My parents put very strict expectations on him like he could not drive me home anymore or my parents have to drive me to the place we are hanging out at. He was reallyyy upset about it for 2 days. But he told me he would except these terms for me. I started to feel that he only wanted me for one thing…. and i told him how i felt and we started to get in arguments. He would go smoke with his friends but he couldn’t be there for me. I started to feel like it wasn’t worth it. until he texted me telling me he felt the same way. but when he explained the issues he had. He seemed to blame everything on me. But i accepted it. We were really close to break up that day but we didn’t. I just apologized for everything and for 2 days things were back to being perfect. Until I had personal issues with my parents and my grades were slipping. I decided that right now i needed time to figure out my life so i broke up with him. He ended up texting me making me feel worse about making that decision and I have apologized to him ever since. I still do. I feel like im not even close to over him. But now he has a girlfiriend. He told me that i was the girl he really liked the most and how by me breaking up with him effected everything. but it took him a matter of a month to get over me??! I still have feelings for him and tend to apologize to him way to much. Everyone tells me that its not worth it but i felt like i saw a better side of him then what people told me. But all I want is to be friends with him. I dont want to lose someone that I cared sooo much about.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 3, 2016 at 1:11 pm
Hi Ria,
if you want to be just friends, that’s easier, when you bump into a each other at school, guauge how he’s reacting to you.. if he’s not angry, ask him how he is
Elizabeth
February 21, 2016 at 6:59 am
Hello,
I am 17 and I recently broke up with my first boyfriend. He is my co-worker, we meet through work in July 2015 when he started and from then on we started talking a lot. We became close friends and we always were together at work. As time passed, I started getting feelings for him. I started to flirt with him and we talked all day long. We then started hanging out outside of work. We went to a concert and we held hands and he wrapped his arms around me. A few weeks later we went to the fair together and I showed him a lot of interest. We then held hands again and enjoyed the time together. October 30th he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. We then continued going out together and our co-workers were really happy for us! Especially my best friend! My parents loved him and so did my siblings. As time passed by he seemed to stop trying to communicate with me. He lacked communication with me and stopped trying to talk and be with me. So then on December 16th I broke up with him via text message. At first I was a little relieved because it’s like I had to stop worrying about him not trying. Later on, I started to feel the regret and now I want him back. What do I do?! I love him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2016 at 2:32 pm
Hi elizabeth,
do you still see each other at work and when was the last time you talked?
celine
February 20, 2016 at 12:43 pm
hi,
a few weeks ago my boyfriend and i broke up he was great to me and he actually broke up with his girlfriend for me but one day he asked me for pictures of myself naked so after that i just felt like i should end things with him mostly cause i felt he he didnt respect me when i broke up with him he thought i didnt care but my boyfriend and i had the same best friend so when i told that person and then he told my ex so my ex talked to me and told me that he still loves me and we talked and when we arranged to see each other (as friends) he tried to kiss me i rejected him and left. he hasnt talked to me since but school just started again and i see him every day and i miss him so much everyone keeps telling me that he still loves me but i just wish he talks to me he stares at me every time he sees me but i still act like i dont care and i know that i should act like i do care and maybe hell talk to me but i just dont know im so confused like should i forgive him should i talk to him first shoud i tell him i still love him should i just move on should i wait a little longer i just really dont know what to do
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2016 at 5:12 am
Hi Celine,
You did the right thing.. If you have given that picture and kiss to him, you’ll lose respect for yourself too.. And he probably is still in love with you because of your standards.. It’s ok to be nice.. just a smile when yiu pass by each other can let him initiate a talk with you.. But always be cautious, be firm on your standards, so, you don’t end up with the wrong guys..
Clara
February 18, 2016 at 7:17 am
Hi,
I have a break off with my ex few days back. It was my 2nd time breaking up. He told me that im not the one that he wants in his life nor settle down with. We have been tgt for 10 mths. and we were happy in the beginning of the relationship. Things started to change after 7 mths, I feel that he doesnt love me as much as from the start. i start to get sentimental and emotional. And i will keep message him. He doesnt reply most of my msg. After the break up i keep msg him, call him, till he blocked me everywhere. I wanted to patch up with him. But he is firm with the decision taht he doesnt want patch up anymore. I tried to use NC but i jus cant control myself. He started to find me irritating and told me to get out from his life and he say he is not interested anymore. WHy do guys change so fast? Is it becasue of my characters and emotional that he cant take it?
We have book a trip in May and now tt we have broke off, should we still proceed to go the trip tgt? As a friend? As the tickets n hotels fee cannot be cancelled and transferred. And i really wish we can go tgt. He has agreed to go the trip with me. But is it weird to go tgt not as a couple?
I really wish to patch with him but he dont want. I have told him i wont contact him anymore le.
What should i do? Need your help. Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 18, 2016 at 3:26 pm
Hi Clara,
I think nc is really the best solution for now because if you”re not going to do it, what do you plan to do next?
Mira
February 13, 2016 at 3:01 pm
Hi there , I’m 19 years old ,me and my boyfriend had been with each other for 4 years ,but we were hardly seeing each other because he was from Cairo and I am from Alexandria ,Egypt …whatever I knew him from Facebook that he sent the add to me and I accepted it ,then we became close friends after a while till he said that he loves me and I told him too that I love him ,then every thing was getting closer and nicer in our relationship till I adored him so , he also seemed to be adoring me ,He came once in the valentine’s day but that I was really upset to not get him a gift as he did .and that did happened because my mother dOnOt want me to be with him and she didnot gave me any money to buy him a present also I didnot tell her that I am going to see him , and all things were right and good till that day 🙁 25-5-2015 ,that he began to change with me ,when I call him he dOnOt reply or cancel or power off his phone ,when I ask to see him to talk to him he was telling that he will come to me and didnot , by the way I was not able to travel to him to Cairo because of my study and my family would not ever allow me to go…then it began to be worth as he told me that we will not call because there is no soul from doing that …,he said that after he was adoring my voice and the my laughing ,after we was talking for hours on phone and telling each other about every thing we did on the whole day, he began to hurt me saying that m getting fat and my cloths make me older ,I did not know any thing about his life his work any thing ,by the way I forgot to tell that his 26 now ….,and after all that ignoring I just got hurt ,so badly hurt ,crying every night ,dreaming about him always,:( because I really love him alot, But eventually I send him message said that I hate him and I will leave him and how much I am angry with him and I thought he will be kind and care about me and about my love but he just said to me (you are beautiful and you love a dead one and that I dOnOt deserve you and you deserve better than me and I wish you the best in your study and your life )….,:( like he was waiting me to say that I will leave him ,like he did want that !!! 🙁 , since that day we had never talked with each other and he made everything on his Facebook unseen to me but didnot block me , that is all wt happened .., I am really broken and sad ,I adore him ,and I am really scared from that he with another girl now I am scared :(…. I love him please just help me ,tell me wt shall I do to make him want me ,wt shall I do to have him back ..please help <3 thanks alot …
Mira
March 20, 2016 at 3:23 am
Hey Amor , m sorry about not answering for a while because I had so many exams and stuff , every thing is going right and great with my love ,he is talking to me regularly now ,and he said sorry for not answering because he had sm troubles then , he got out of it now and we are happy now ,oh and I told him I love him as he told me so and he always love every thing on me 🙂 m happy and I wish I will stay like that with him 4ever , I wish u can stay in connection with me for ever to. Tell you about any situation I may not be able to treat with one day <3 thQ
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 20, 2016 at 9:36 am
oh that’s good! I’m happy for you too!
Mira
March 10, 2016 at 6:28 pm
Hey Amor ,missed our talk alot … There is much new conversations between me and my boyfriend till now were speaking daily in everything , till the last Friday , he told me that I should focus in my study and he doesn’t want to be a reason for me to care about him the most any leave studying so he told me that I have to focus till finish studying in summer &we will do every thing ,so we didnot talk till that time ,but I just wanna check him, dnt want much talk ,I send him yesterday a msg askin about him but he didnot see it and will not reply ,wt do you think shall I do ?! …
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 11, 2016 at 12:41 am
Hi Mira! How are you? You’ve come aong way from not having a convo with him at all.. He told you to focus in studying now and you’ll again in summer?
Mira
February 22, 2016 at 5:22 pm
Yeah sure I will keep it slow , <3 luv u alot Amor , I hope we would be always in connection if anything new happened , thQ
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 23, 2016 at 1:33 pm
Aawww.. I hope you work things out!
Mira
February 21, 2016 at 10:08 pm
We talked , I was really amazed because of that conversation , I told him first *hey ,how are things?* and stuff like that , and I found he began to say very beautiful word , he told me that he miss me alot , he also said that he hopes that my college would be next to him in Cairo , he said that he was always thinkin about us and how we uses to be together , he even told me that I look gorgeous in the profile picture of mine and he likes it alot , he asked me if I was thinkin about us too or not !!.. I was confused then that I didnot really want to hurt him of saying (no I wasnot ), and also because I didnot wanna lie that I really was thinkin daily about him , eventually I said yeah , and he replied ^Really??^ ,like he didnot believe him self of joy !! 🙂 … He tolde that he is so happy that I finally talked to him 🙂 🙂 …. It ended as I was going out and also he that we said we would talk later ….:) that’s we happened and m really surprised hahaha !!! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 22, 2016 at 1:41 pm
That’s good! I’m happy for you! But take it slow ok? Keep the mystery, do the tide theory in texting, don’t give it all to early so you won’t lose the spark
Mira
February 20, 2016 at 2:17 pm
No i just wrote the word *sorry* and i didnot say anything else ,and i didnot say that i still love him to him no ,he saw the msg and he answered the next day saing the same word *sorry* like I told you … But I saw it and did not answer … But I just want to say anything I dOnOt wanna him to get away again …plz. Tell me what shall I say next ? …I hope you tell quickly because your reply arrives after a day so m just waiting ….<3
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 21, 2016 at 5:31 am
Well, I don’t want to be annoying..
But you have to remember, right now, it’s more probable that he won’t come back.. So, this is a risk you should be ready
And also you can send him why you’re sorry.. He’s probably wondering about what you’re really sorry for and also, if he replied.. this can be your chance to build rapport again with him..
Keep in mind too, he has a girlfriend.. if he sees you’re trying to get back with him, he’ll probably avoid you to avoid conflict with his girlfriend…
And also make your next message light.. no one wants to have a negative conversation.. Also, too, have you been active? If he sees your profile, will he see that you’re happy and trying to move on or moved on? Because that’s important. He will try to know if you are being friendly or just chasing him..
So, your message can go like,
“Hey! Sorry my last message was incomplete! I just saw (something you have shared together, a place, a thing, a friend) and I wondered how you were, and that before I can catch up again, I should have said sorry first… 🙂 So, how are things? ”
Something like that.. refer to Chris’ advice on how to text
EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend
and think about what he really loves to talk about as a topic
Also if he engages.. follow the tide theory.
Mira
February 19, 2016 at 4:47 pm
Amor 🙂 , he answered .. He said the word *sorry * too with sad emotion like this * 🙁 * m really confused my heart beating so fast wt shall I do wt shall I say 🙂 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 20, 2016 at 7:45 am
Okay.. take it slow… anyways how dod you exactly say you were sorry? did you tell him you still love him?
Mira
February 18, 2016 at 11:24 pm
Okay I will send him that sorry ,just the word sorry ,and i Will wait till he answers , and if he did I would tell you what did he say to tell me if I have to ignore that or not , and yes you are right I have to care about my life more like he did …anyway thQ …
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 19, 2016 at 10:32 am
okay.. I’ll wait for it.. your welcome 🙂
Mira
February 17, 2016 at 7:08 pm
No actually my parents would not allow me to go there if they knew that I would be with him …but m just fighting for us to be together , … Only if we get back , but if he just stayed away like that why would I go , I am essentially going for him …but if no thing changed I would enter the same college here in Alex ….but you know you are right I have to move on even in front of him to make him think that I forgot every thing and may that changes him to think about me again … m just doing every thing u say to me step by step , but the problem is that I open his chat every day and think that why couldn’t I just write the word *sorry* and send it to him but I do find it really hard on me ….
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 18, 2016 at 11:18 am
Oh.. now that makes it clear for me, you have to put yourself first.. you can’t make life decisions because of him because first, you’re putting too much pressure on him. Second, even if it’s because of him, you can’t blame him if something goes wrong because it was just your decision, he didn’t ask for it and lastly, you’re putting too much in the table when all he has for you is attention and time(if he goes back with you)
Think about it first, you’re the only one chasing here.. For me send him that sorry once and for all and then move on.. if he contacts after that then good but don’t move there just because you’re in a relationship.. Ot has to be a fair play.. Value yourself so, others will value you okay?
Mira
February 16, 2016 at 8:08 am
We were agreed that I will live with him in Cairo after my study ,now I just have 3 months to finish it and to go to college in Cairo and start our life …
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 16, 2016 at 12:54 pm
Okay, it’s been so many months Mira.. By now you should know what makes you happy apart from him.. if you haven’t start now…
Because even if you can’t see his posts, he will see yours.. If you appear like you haven’t moved on, he probably wouldn’t want to talk to you yet..
I don’t want to be negative, but I’m just asking you possible blocks he may think about..
If you get to Cairo to go to college and live with him, would your parents allow you? Are you sure you’re going to college there? If he doesn’t get back with you, would you still be studying there?
Mira
February 14, 2016 at 8:07 pm
After I got hurt from all what he was doing to me that I mentioned , I sent it in 26/6/2015 ,I really appreciate ur affort Amor thQ <3 I hope I can really get him back because I miss him alot …
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 15, 2016 at 7:36 pm
Thank you too..
Ok, so, it’s been almost 8 months since you last sent a text to him.. you said you couldn’t go to Cairo and he couldn’t go Alexandria, I think that’s one of the reasons of your break up…
If ever you get back together, how will you solve that?
Mira
February 14, 2016 at 9:05 am
ThQ Amor for answering me <3 ,…we were so great loving each other ,talking every night on phone ,texting always ,during those 4 years ,I was always trying to shorten the distances between us by doing anything I could do , and about the NC rule ,yes I did , I told you we have not been talking since may 2015 till now , we even overcame the 30 days of the NC …:(
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 14, 2016 at 10:35 am
oh ok..when did you send the text that yoou said you were angry with him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 14, 2016 at 4:37 am
Hi Mira,
How do you see each other during those 4 years?
I wish we can guarantee that you can surely get him back, but we can only help you increase your chances.
are you doing nc now?
somebody needing help
February 7, 2016 at 11:15 pm
I am only 12, but i had a boyfriend for about a month and a half. we broke up because he thought it would be awkward, which i still don’t understand, but he got a new girlfriend like 2 days after we broke up. i have been sad and angry and sad again ever since they started dating and i even when i asked him if he wanted to break up because it was awkward or if he wanted to date this other girl he said because it was awkward and i just want to get him back because i am madly in love with him and i cry myself to sleep every night thinking about him
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2016 at 9:22 am
Hello,
With your age, it’s normal that it would hurt a lot but it’s not normal for you to focus on him. As a young lady, and this advice comes too early for you, a bf or fiance or husband is there just to add in to our complete identity. They’re in our lives because they compliment at core values.
So, in that age that’s what you need to focus on more. Growth and building your character.
So, when the right time comes, you’ll notice it yourself that guys gravitate to independent women. Women who don’t make guys their world and know their self vale and is doing bigger things than just living day to day.
So, now focus on knowing yourself, building your character and learning new skills and enjoy life! 🙂
precious
February 4, 2016 at 10:30 pm
Hi i dated my best friend about 4 years ago for 6 months and we broke up because of his interest in someone else i spent days crying but he tried to make me understand even though we broke up we are still friends he tell every thing about his life and relationship and am always there to comfort him when he needs it,we talk every day and since we broke up i couldn’t date someone else and i noticed he couldn’t have a stable relationship too……sometimes i want to move on but i cant please help i there any chance that we can get back together or is it a bad idea
precious
February 6, 2016 at 11:03 pm
Thanks Amor
Few hours ago i talk to him almost everyday
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2016 at 4:43 pm
You’re welcome 🙂 I think it’s better if you do NC.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 10:34 am
Hi Precious,
When was the last time you talked to eah other?
Peyton
December 17, 2015 at 7:22 pm
I need some help. I am 16 and dated my boyfriend for 11 months exclusively. The first 6 were great and he was in over his head in love with me – we were each other’s first real relationship. He began to get obsessive, not really in a bad way but constant texting and snapping all day long, facetiming every night, not giving me any alone space at school, basically being a puppy and following me around. Talking about a future together, when we get married, going to the same college, etc. I got overwhelmed by it all and broke his heart about 6 weeks ago just prior to our one year anniversary. He was in shock as he was planning something special for our 1 year anniversary. Even though I did this, I was in bed for days crying and depressed. Time went on and we maintained somewhat of a friend relationship because we saw each other every day. We still had ties to each other, ie, tickets to a show, sports clothing i purchased from him etc so we still had to have a baseline relationship. The first 10 days he tried to come back, texting me about his uncle who passed away, or trying to facetime me. After that, he would only respond when i sent him a note and he responded every time in a nice way. One month after, he took the one photo of us down from his instagram wall. I still kept 4 photos of us on mine because i wanted to. They were part of my life and history. Two weeks after he took his down, he asked me to take mine down saying it was awkward. I sort of freaked out on him about it asking him why. I begrudging did so, only to land myself again into a spiral of depression in my room for hours crying. I then sent him a note apologizing for freaking and why I did, that I considered them memories of good times and that the past month and a half of getting some space, I realized how much he really meant to me and that i was sorry for causing him pain. That was the only text he never responded to. At school now, he avoids me. What is happening with him? Do I have any chance of winning him back? As obsessive as he was, he was a great person, smart, driven and so good to me – treated me like a queen. I don’t know what I was thinking to leave. Please help! Peyton
Peyton
January 21, 2016 at 7:31 pm
Further to my story – we had been maintaining a somewhat cordial relationship for about a month after breaking up – i would be the one who texted but he would always respond. Then New Years came – and he became sort of a changed man – started partying with old friends (something he had never done in his life), kissed a girl that he barely knew etc. I sent him a text telling him how much i still loved him and never stopped – that i broke up with him because his focus was not in the right places and only on me…and that I thought we still had a chance to start anew only a different type of less intense relationship he wrote back nicely and said that he understood everything I wrote but that his focus now did need to be on college, hockey and his future career and that he was not looking for any relationship right now. I am accepting this but struggling to believe that after 11 months of telling me every single day how much he loved me and that his life would be ruined without me in it, in 1 1/2 he could be so over it. Now even though the texts were left not angry, he won’t even look at me in school. Its hard. I would accept being friends at this point.
Addison Evans
January 19, 2016 at 1:46 am
In personal opinion, , you really did create a massive issue by breaking up with him in the first place, and that will always leave a scar in your relationship between him. It’s devastating emotionally and physically for a girl that a guy loves to break up with him, and then deny his attempts at getting back together afterward. From what i’m thinking, he moved on from the break up. I respect that you attempting to win the man back, but he’s avoiding you because now you’re acting like an obsessive ex-girlfriend. Sadly, i’m gonna say that it’s too late to win him back now, he moved on, but you apparently haven’t.
jackie
December 14, 2015 at 3:29 am
Hi there, I was with my ex for just over a year and a half and broke up with him because i felt the relationship was changing, he was really devastated by the breakup, and after 2 months of being broken up I gave it another chance. We were then “seeing each other” for approximately another 9 months but he didn’t want to make it official again, in case i broke up with him again even though we were a couple just without the label.
I got really fed up with the situation and ended it and he was even more upset this time and really wanted me to give it another chance but i wouldn’t. We then both went away overseas (not together) and when we were both back which would’ve been 6 months since I ended things again, he asked if we could go for dinner etc, i agreed and we had a nice time but i was still unsure about trying things again as i still was “finding myself” (now that I’m in this situation, its hard to remember the reasons why i wasn’t willing to try) anyway, he called me one night telling me how much he loved me, how i made him a better person and how he only wants to be with me etc, but i still did nothing. It has now been about 2-3 months since then and now he is with someone else.
I don’t understand how he could have said those things and has now moved on. Unfortunately it has made me realise how much i do love him and want to be with him, but he just says hes finally starting to be happy without me and doesn’t want to take steps back and is moving on. I’ve read your article and have made some of those mistakes by calling him and messaging him but i am trying to do the 30 day rule but just feel like its going to push him closer to her and i can tell her really likes her and has probably forgotten about me. Is there anything I can do? Thank you!
kimberly
December 12, 2015 at 5:33 am
Hi Chris,
Thanks for your insight. I’m sure it has assisted many in reclaiming their exes. I’m in a rather strange situation where I want to communicate with my ex boyfriend, but not get back together with him. It has been almost 3 or 4 months of NC. He hasn’t contacted me and I haven’t contacted him. Whenever I see him at school he gives me the saddest face as if everything is my fault and personally, I’m beginning to feel a little guilty. I just want to set some of his insecurities straight and apologize for my part. I want no relationship. It would make me feel better to at least discuss things. How do you suggest I go about this or should I just let him be?
~Kim
Ohoud
November 22, 2015 at 7:05 pm
I spent like 20 minutes reading the whole thing. Yet my case is somewhat different. Im not proud to say this but i had a 2 years relationship with a married man. We broke up a year ago (i asked for it) so i can get married. & we agreed to be friends. Anyways we are in the same field & we ve lots of common friends. Then 3 months later i broke up with the man I decided to marry & get back to mr. Perfect.
I highly respect the fact that he is marred but i know he needs something else. Anyways we kept meeting for another year then I decided its not good enough for me & i need more so i text him all that & he replied (wish you the very best)
Now i think that was a huge mistake. I love him & i miss him as a good person that keeps a good balance in my life & i miss the good sex!
Muslim guys are allowed to marry up to 4 ladies, never thought of this as a good thing but maybe thats my way out?!
I dont want to couse issues in there home but he s already not so happy! I have lots of options & i know i ll not be alone but no one makes me feel special as he does. I know he is not perfect but he is a real good person. Im 32 & have dated lots of men & I believe this relationship should be better not only continue if you know what i mean?
Nana
November 2, 2015 at 3:55 am
I broke up with my boyfriend because i felt it was all about sex. I texted him and i said I am done with you, but I regret after I did it. He told me, he would come to talk. Before he came i texted him and told him ‘Im sorry and i shouldnt talked like that in my text and i miss you’ . i thought he would understand that i dont want to break up with him. but he came and he said his agree with me and maybe we dont have connection and… we broke up. after that we had a fight with text too. but I want him back I miss him so much.. can you help me ?
Janessa
October 25, 2015 at 4:35 am
Hey Chris,
First off im 13 turning 14 and i really like my ex still but i ended it it just got boring but i regret it i told him that and that i wanted him back and everything and he pretty much said if doesnt anymore i tried to be friends but it didnt seem he wanted to so i stopped i came across this site and it helped me alot im doing the no contact but when he found out i broke up with him he stopped talking to me until i texted him but that was it but now im doing the NC and its almost time to text him what should i do? what should i say to him? i need your help this been going on for like a month and i really want him back but idk if he feels the same any other advice will be good too. thank you i hope you get back to me
Margaret
October 17, 2015 at 1:43 pm
Early on this year I split up with my boyfriend for the second time the first time was because he did not do birthday’s Christmas and family get together I could see this I thought this would cause problems as I have two grown my daughters and have three young grandchildren I am divorced he has never been married and has been single for a long time. But we missed each other so much we thought we would give it another try must admit it was not quiet the same I called it off saying it was not working I did not give it much time and I never spoke up and said what I was not happy about which I should have.
So much was happening I had a car accident , I burnt my fingers, my daughter’s partner left her and their son’s for another woman they should have got married this July it all had been booked she was totally heart broken I can still see her face her world had fallen apart and then my mam passed away there were a few other things but these are the major ones. Seeing my daughter like this loosing my mam did effect my health and I did get chest pain and cried a lot I was off work on compassionate leave.
But after time things have settled down my daughter is getting her life together she is learning to drive she does work and that seems to be going well, for me I will be starting my new job on Monday over the last few years I have worked as a temp now have a perm job with better money also I the stress I had has gone.
When this happened I realise how much I missed and we had some great times together I realised I should have worked on our relationship instead of calling it off. I had done this before I get scared we are still friends and that’s how he wants it he is happy being single we do reminisce on the good times I want to for the first time want to work on our relationship that’s if he changes his mind he did say what to dump for the third time I can understand how he feels this time if I get the chance I am going to try harder
Mogirlygirl
October 7, 2015 at 2:38 am
Do you have any suggestions for a situation that involves his grown daughter causing problems because she has diagnosed bipolar disorder and no one believes in traditional treatment. She is the reason we broke up in 1994 and after 3 years of dating now we have been broken up for 6 months. I fear this time there is nothing I can do, she just causes so much trouble for me. We love each other very much but I don’t think we will ever be able to be together. How can I even begin to win him back for like the 4th time when there are such big obstacles as family and mental illness?
Jenna
October 3, 2015 at 7:58 am
I had my first bf and we had a daughter. My bf had already a son from past relationship but there had a time that the ex calls in the mifdle of the night while drunk and when I left the house one time because we had fights the ex slept in our house because she was drunk and my bf said because he doesn’t want his son to be out in the night with his drunken mother. Whenever we had fights he is verbally abusive so i got tired of it and now i already broke up with him.
To be honest, i know from my own self that he is not a good person for me. And also im confused with his issues with this ex so i cant really have the confidence if i was just used as rebound or what.. Should i really have to let go? Phewww…
Sandy
September 28, 2015 at 4:38 am
I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years. Everything was fine except in times when I didn’t feel he was exerting enough effort to maintain our relationship (ie. I was always the one who had to initiate Skype calls and whatnot) I kept telling him about his lack of effort. He tried to change but it was never consistent. One time we fought about it again and we didnt talk for a month until we saw each other. Now, it happened again and I broke up with him. But according to him he didn’t want to and the conversation was so vague. But he implied he didn’t want to break up so we never resolved anything. We didn’t contact each other for another month. He told me we should talk about it and we scheduled a time to talk, but at the last minute he said something came up and asked if we could reschedule. i told him I didn’t have another free time. He never texted back. I felt hurt and insulted. Should I tell him I felt and continue to break up with him?