How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back if HE Cheated On You- Advice & Help

1,052 thoughts on “He Cheated On You And You Want Him Back… What Do You Do?”

ellie

May 3, 2015 at 2:31 pm

Hi Chris, I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I started the NC. But I saw your article about how you get your ex back if he cheated, and now I have to extend it to 45 days and I was so frustrated that I have to wait that long. But there is something you said that within NC I should decide if I want him back. What if not? Should I text him too after NC? What to say?
Anna

April 27, 2015 at 7:31 pm

Hi Chris,

I have been dating a guy I met online for a year now. We hangout and do some stuff but we never saw each other friends or family. It was like we lived separate lives. I found out 2 weeks ago that he had an active online profile on the same site that we met and I was really hurt. I drove straight to his place at 1 am in the morning to confront him. He was surprised to see me because I never just show up at his place. We always agree to meet up. He refused to answer my question if the profile was his and that angered me so I broke up with him. I told him I wanted to get a my stuff from his place and he threatened to call the police if I didn’t leave. I left crying and devastated. I blocked him on a messaging app we used to communicate and he tried to reach me a few days later through emails, calls and texts but I have ignored all. I don’t know what to do at this point. I love this guy and trusted him so much I wonder why would he be on that site if not for picking up women? What do I do?
andrea

April 26, 2015 at 8:02 pm

HELP!!!
Okay so i was seeing this man for five months and he told me from the beginning that he liked his life style and wanted to go slow. he’s 45 and in 24 so i thought it was a good idea, we got along really well and had a connection. He made an effort to meet my parents and to show up at my house to let me know his phone broke the day before and wanted to let me know he wasn’t ignoring me! he even called my work! He took me places and introduced me to his friends. He also allowed me to do things he wouldn’t let others do. We never were officially dating which i was okay with however, he did tell me that he was NOT seeing anyone else and that he was only interested in me. I had no intention on controlling who he saw or what he did because i know he would do what he wanted. He took care of me and watched me and cared about my health and schooling. however, this passed week i found out he was flying this girl that he told me he wasn’t seeing any longer who lives in Thailand to las vegas to meet him. he was going to be over for 4 days. I found this out because i had a suspicion and i went through his phone. I understand i should never EVER touch a persons phone because its wrong and I’m not the type of person to do that. i use to be at least. Anyway i saw in the text that she was “at the gate” and ‘I LOVE YOU!” and stuff like that. I was furious and upset and hurt. Ive never been in a position where i have been lied to or cheated on and i wasn’t sure what to do. I was staying over his house that night and he was going to give me a key to his house so i could sleep in. When i saw that on his phone i lost it, i knew there was no way i could still sleep in the same bed as him knowing he was going to meet this other girl. After he went to bed i got all my stuff and mistakenly texted the female out of anger. I was not rude i just informed her that “I’ve been seeing her guy for five months and to have a nice weekend” then i woke him up and informed him that i felt like a fool and wished i never gave him my number and left. i didn’t call him names or blame him, i just do not like or deserve to be lied to. i left his house that evening and have had not contact since. that was five days ago. two days after i left he texted me telling me he’s never had anyone “sneakily pirate his phone” and however i may justify it in my mind to “never call him again’. I never replied to this text and that was three days ago. I am not a desperate person and i know i will find other people who will treat me right. however, i know what i did was wrong and i want to apologize for touching his phone. i have a DVD player over there i have to get back so I’m waiting to give him a few days after returning from vegas and that girl to go do it. the tricky part is i want him back. As bad as it sounds I am okay with this not being a serious relationship because of the age difference and other things going on. however, he treated me well and id be okay with him seeing whoever he wants, i just wish he didn’t lie about it and make me believe i was the only one. I understand someone being 45 never having kids or being married has commitment issues an that is okay as long as we are on the same page. My plan was to give him a few days to cool off and go apologize for touching his phone. I do not think he will forgive me and i really would like to continue seeing him casually. how do i do this? I still haven’t contacted him since i left his house or after his text showing he had to have the last word. regardless i still need my stuff back
Deanna

April 4, 2015 at 2:23 am

So my husband and I are high school sweethearts been together for 6 years and married for 3. Our first baby together is now 8 months old. He plays college football and over the last year football has been unfortunate. (I feel that has something to do with why he cheated). So basically he checked out from us since January and saying he needed space and stuff and we’re not working as a couple. I found out match 13th he’s been cheating on me and signed a 3 month lease with this grl: he moved out March 1st when I basically said you need to stay somewhere else since he was in the couch since January and acted if I was a ghost at our place. This girl apparently got kicked out of her parents house because she was messing with a married man with a baby. Now my husband can potentially go pro and will be in training camps all of May-August. He told me they started getting serious in February and I asked if he’s going to take her and he said she has her own life here. Btw he only contacts me about the baby. And I texted about rent and giving me an explanation on what happened and he just ignores me now. Idk what to do and at and of say I still want him 🙁
Tory

March 28, 2015 at 7:29 pm

Hi, I’m really struggling with my breakup. Me and Sam were together for two years, living together for most of those two years. Last summer he randomly broke up with me and said he wanted to see other people. I moved out, but kept begging him to take me back. After two months we finally decided to get back together. At that point our relationship had never been better. He told me breaking up with me was a stupid decision and he’d never do it again. Recently, we’ve even been looking at engagement rings! However, last week sam broke up with me again. He said he just “couldn’t do it anymore.” After a few days, the truth came out. He had been sleeping with one of our neighbors. This woman isn’t his type and I highly doubt that they will last, although sam says that things with her are “going very well.” As soon as I found out he was cheating, I moved out of our apartment. I am so angry and hurt. However, I still want him back. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone. We had a future planned together. How do I get him back and prevent this from happening again?!

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:17 pm

NC is a good start right here.

Also, how long had he been cheating on you.
Tory

April 1, 2015 at 12:53 am

I’m not sure exactly how long he had been cheating. When I asked him, he said “recently”. Im assuming it started a week or less before he broke up with me.
admin

April 2, 2015 at 11:23 pm

I would think you are right about that.
Tory

March 28, 2015 at 7:33 pm

I forgot when we first broke up the second time he offered for pay for couples counseling, but never mentioned it again. He wanted to work on our relationship but doesn’t want to anymore and it bothers me. We have two dogs together and I am super close to his family. No one expected this to happen, everyone is shocked, not just myself. He has a history of heavy drinking and some drug use, as well as anxiety. I’m not sure why this whole thing happened but I want it to be over. I want my loving boyfriend back.

Angel

March 25, 2015 at 5:30 pm

Hello, im new to this site. But i need advice.
My Bf and I have been together for three years. Went throught everything together. We started fighting alot arguing and things just didnt seem right. He moved out for a while but still stayed at my place most of the time. Everyday everynight. Things started getting weird when he would go out with friends (terrible friends) and staying out late 3am then 6am then it got to the point he would go out get drunk and not come back to my place. Call me the next day like why did you call me so much i was only at home. Fast forward the text messages i seen with multiple females. He was the one reaching out to the them most of the time. Last week he left my house all of a sudden saying he had to go home. He wanted me to come but i stayed to clean and cook. Hours passed and felt like forever. I finally call him and its going to voicemail. Something told me to go to his house. I get there and he’s in the car with some chick and hes the driver. I block them both and he pulls off. Im ashamed at my actions because i followed them and demanded he tell me the truth. The girl called him bae and said he told her we were not together…I left and he called me for four days, then txt and said he knows im going to hurt him. And that he doesnt want to talk anymore. Its still fresh and right bow I still love him and want him back but i just feel so low. I havent spoke to him yet and i feel like hes trying to reverse things. He did tell me she ment nothing and that he was coming home to me. I cant stop crying, ive been in my room staring at the ceiling wondering why …Advice.,,Please help…

admin

March 31, 2015 at 7:59 pm

Do you think his cheating was a one time thing?

Has he shown any remorse?

Vicky

March 22, 2015 at 2:22 pm

HiChris
I was with my partner for 3 happy years, never an arguement, just before xmas he left me, had an affair, said he loved me to bits but not in that way, he came home 3 weeks later, said he made the biggest mistake if is life and hated every minute he was away, 3 weeks later he left again, we have stayed in touch as we have season tickets for football, and he is helping pay the bills still, he says he is not happy and has major doubts but not sure if he wants to come back, 2 weeks ago we slept together and he rang me every day now i havn’t seen him since last tues and only one text, i am so confused i don’t know what’s going on in his head, he initiated everything, we have no football now for 2 weeks and i don’t know if i will see him before then, i havn’t contacted him but i am desperate to text him, please help, i feel like my head will explode, yes i still love him and yes i would have him back….sad i know.
Traci Gilliam

March 17, 2015 at 1:33 am

My boyfriend and I have been together for 13 years. We have 2 kids together. He cheated once 8 or 9 years ago it was once when he was drunk with someone he worked with. But just 2 months ago he cheated again with someone he worked with (different job, different town).I kinda knew something was going on in the beginning before anything sexual happened but I didn’t stop it in time. He told me on Christmas night. I have pages of the text messages ( not actual messages but dates time and her number) his gps when he was at her house and for how long. I also confronted her and she apologized saying it was a mistake. It only lasted a week or so and there was only one actual time they had sex the other times he couldn’t perform. He also said he had 2 one night stands not overnight with someone he met at the bars. I know what I should do but we do have the kids. We’re in counseling and I don’t think I can ever trust him again. Very complicated. ..

admin

March 18, 2015 at 8:40 pm

Wow, haha you went full on detective!

Awesome job.

I think counseling is the way to go and I think the most you can expect out of him is if he tries or not.

paige

March 6, 2015 at 5:26 pm

Hi Chris I was just wondering if u could email me I would like some help please my email is [email protected]

admin

March 7, 2015 at 5:53 pm

Hi Paige, I am sorry to inform you that I am no longer doing emails.

Shania

March 4, 2015 at 2:22 am

Hi Chris
How ya doing? Interesting website you have. Anyways I discovered my ex was cheating on me by playing the role of a detective. The problem am having is, I do want him back, but yet I dont. After I confronted him on him cheating, in which he denied. He has never admitted to it, the only thing he says is, if am not happy with him then leave, yet he is the one who has been doing the most contac.I had sex 3 weeks later of him.cheating once. We still speak but have not seen each other for about 7 weeks since us having sex. More than anything I think I miss the sex with him. I dont really date much so I know it will be a challenge for me to meet another man.
From a male perspective, do you think it would be a good idea for a woman to cheat on a man and just use him to service my needs..I’ve Never cheated but have been cheated on by all 3 of my exes or shall I call it a day with him..Am really confused about the whole situation..
Your advice will be greatly appreciated xxx

admin

March 5, 2015 at 8:33 pm

Good ole detective didn’t work out for you in this case… Instead it hurt you.

I am really sorry.

I would listen to this podcast episode,

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/episode7/
Shania

March 6, 2015 at 9:54 pm

Thank you for replying. In a way it did work out because at least I know now thankfully and am now making the moves to move on..
Take Care xxx

Daniela

February 25, 2015 at 2:55 am

Hey Chris I could really use your help!!! Hoping that you can. So last month I caught my boyfriend cheating on me, I left crying, angry, rejecting his calls, but then at the end of the day I told him to try and get me back and I think that’s where I messed up. Because I didn’t come across your site then I didn’t do the no contact rule and I was still texting him and would stop by sometimes only because I really want to work things out. The last time that I saw him was the first week of this month because again I was trying to get him back I don’t know if I made myself too available and that’s why it didn’t work, then two days later I went to my friends house and got drunk and called him and left him a voicemail, don’t remember anything that I said but I got a message from him two days later about what I said and it wasn’t good, we haven’t talked since then which is now 2 weeks and I also remember him saying that he wouldn’t want to get back together because him cheating would always be there but I said I would forgive him. Does that mean there’s no chance? I was with this person since September of 2013 saw having a family with him and getting married and would still like that, I don’t see myself being with someone else. If you could please give me advice i’d really appreciate it.

admin

February 25, 2015 at 9:34 pm

How did you catch him exactly?

Like actually in the act?
Dani

February 26, 2015 at 2:25 am

I went to his house and saw this car parked their that I’ve never seen, had this gut feeling it was another girl and it was..he came out of his house and confirmed it thats when I left crying, angry etc.
Dani

February 26, 2015 at 2:36 am

I forgot to say he they didn’t have sex but I’m not sure
Daniela

February 25, 2015 at 3:10 am

And I forgot to mention that I think he may be hanging out with someone new I’m not sure but will she affect us getting back together?

Megan

February 16, 2015 at 2:47 pm

My boyfriend just told me on friday morning that he cheated on me the night before and that he couldn’t lie to me about it. He said he has problems and it wasn’t about me. We are long distance. I tried to ask him if we could meet for a complete explanation in-person since I was coming home on Friday besides texting me but he ignored it. So I haven’t talked to him since the last text I sent Friday night. It is now Monday and I still plan on doing the no contact. But I’m just wondering is he ever going to try to contact me?
Shay

February 12, 2015 at 11:50 pm

Hi,
Love all your articles. So, me and my bf split almost two months ago. We’d been living together 5 years and in a relationship for last 6 years. A few weeks before splitting he was acting aloof, I found some messages from a girl at work on his phone who’d met me plenty of times. There was nothing compromising in the texts but I could see she really fancied him and wanted a connection and didn’t give a toss about me and he wasn’t discouraging. One night after work he came home very shady and it turns out they had kissed. I kicked him out of the house and he has since been seeing her the day after we split. I knew it would be a rebound so I kept my distance and let it run its course.They broke up last week, I’ve been having a lot of fun on my own but im wondering what to do next? shes been hanging out with him as friend since they broke up and I don’t feel comfortable getting in touch when she’s still sniffing around him. How can I get him to chase me and ditch her completely?
Thanks,
Shay
Jasmine

February 12, 2015 at 5:05 am

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible…my boyfriend and I have been together for 5yrs, best friends for 9yrs. We are both crazy about each other and have been through a lot together. We are in a long distance relationship, we had been planning to get married and move me to him. I broke up with him for a year due to me needing to find myself. It was one of the biggest mistake I have made. I missed him like crazy and that time apart showed me how much I didn’t want to ever live w/o him. Fast forward to the present…over the past few months I have noticed a strain on our relationship. Me and him are extremely close and our communication is exceptionally well on a normal basis but things have felt off. I can sense that he hasnt been ready for commitment but he insists he is. We have been back together for almost two years and he has yet to commit. So obviously he isn’t ready. I recently found out he has been cheating on me w a girl that he had made friends w where he lives. This is his first time cheating and I’ve never known him to do this w any of his other girlfriends when him and I were friends. I am completely devastated. I was raised in a cheating household and always confided in him about how much this hurt me. I feel what contributed to our downfall was ultimately his fear of commitment (and I am guilty of pressuring him) and then him cheating was a double blow. I am current doing NC he has reached out (txt and calls) saying he’s sorry and loves me. Before I started the NC I demanded answers. We had been in a long distance relationship w no issues such as this for a year. So I wanted answers he basically said he was afraid to commit and stop fighting to stay faithful. We are broken up now and he says that he needs time to get himself together. He said he couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t continue to sleep w her. I know he’s serious about me and us I basically want to know what u think about our situation. Should I forgive him and go back? Is the “I need time” total bs? Please help. Thank u
Sweetness

February 12, 2015 at 12:46 am

Hi Chris,

I really love my BF and want to forgive him, but how do I make him truly regret what he has done and make it up to me in any way possible?

So my BF and I have been together for almost 5 years. We are currently long distance. The other day he calls me and tells me that when he went out with his friends to the bar, he was dancing and kissing this random girl. He said he regretted it and felt bad about it afterwards. The worst part is is that same day he cheated and went to the bar was the same day I purchased a plane ticket to go visit him. Thank goodness I was able to get a refund.

I told him that if he wants to make it up to me he and show me he loves me, he needs to buy me a plane ticket and not go to bars to go drink and stuff. I also told him to change his facebook status for it to show and say that he is in a relationship. His responses were that he doesn’t want to waste money buying a ticket when he doesn’t know what will happen with us and he said that he doesn’t really want to change the facebook status since I seem hostile and don’t want to be with him. At one point he seemed upset and started saying he is confused and doesn’t want to end up not have a social life.
I was angry and hurt, yet I really appreciated the fact that he told me because a lot of douchey guys wouldn’t tell their GFs. This is also the first time he has ever cheated and there was no sex according to him.

I want him back, but I feel like he is not trying hard enough to win me back. I am afraid that if i stop contacting him he will realize he is better off without me since he has such a fulfilling social life. I truly don’t know what to think and what to do. The last thing I want is to lose him. I know he is a good guy.

admin

February 16, 2015 at 10:02 pm

I am sorry he cheated on you/

I would definitely read my LDR article also attempt to do NC…

KB

February 11, 2015 at 10:25 pm

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year a 7 months. He was hesitant to get into another relationship but fell in love with me and it just kind of happen. 3 months ago he started crying and told me he didnt know if he loved me anymore, we tried to have a ‘break’ but it wasnt working because i wanted answers. We decided to try and get those feelings back and it seemed to work, he told me he was in love with me and wasnt going to break up with me again and how much of a mistake he had made. We had an amazing christmas and have been seemingly happy ever since.. Until i found out he had been messaging another guy. I called him up on it and he said he didnt love me like that anymore and regrets talking to the other guy, he said the boy was giving him attention and he let him which he now see’s as one of his ‘biggest mistakes’. We didnt talk for a few days after a messy falling out on my behalf, i then rang him to confirm that he doesnt want to be with me. He then said he wasnt sexually attracted to me anymore and just wants to be by himself. He is trying to get into drama school which is very competitive and this his 5th year trying and it really gets do him, do you think this could be his way of throwing away everything to focus on that? He said he doesnt want any ties, he wants to be single. But we were so genuinely happy, laughing all the time and having sex more. It seemed perfect. He said he doesnt think we are meant to be because i put so much of myself into a relationship and that he cant offer me the same. But this whole time we have both had an amazing time and we were perfect together so i dont understand where this has come from? I personally think the stress and pressure of getting into a drama school has got into his head, i pray he just needs some time to get his head together and realise what he is missing. He can be quite selfish at times and he did say he ‘needs to be selfish and do things for himself’. Do you think this is the end? is there anyway he could just need a few months alone? Ive started working out everyday and working on my appearance, i want to show him what he is missing by not contacting him but im terrified he will get used to being alone in this time apart. Shall i just move on or is there hope, i feel so lost.

admin

February 16, 2015 at 9:56 pm

You need to be willing to use NC.

No fear.

Zee

February 10, 2015 at 5:12 pm

Hey, This is great information. My ex and I broke up in December 2014, I found out he was cheating on me, basically there were too much contact after that, I was going crazy, sending long text messages, arguing with his new girlfriend. I did the no contact up to 10 days and I found some old things of his and I texted him, bad idea. We linked up and had sex At first I didn’t care because he cheated on me with her and why not reverse the role. Now we are having sex and he gave me an ultimatum, He would continue to financially support me but I could not have sex with anyone else. So i guess the question is …is there any reason to do the NC rule and just pretty much walk away at this point?

admin

February 11, 2015 at 1:34 pm

So let me get this straight… he basically gets to sleep around and you have to be fully committed to him?

You can do the NC if you want (it’d probably work too.)

However, I don’t think this guy is going to be great for a long term relationship.

Alice

February 1, 2015 at 5:04 am

i had relationship of 2 years and the 1st years was very very sweet we both thought we would be together forever.

later on he became busy with his friends and started lying me.
i use get frustrated and use to talk rude with him. i use to get too much jealous. he shared all our fights with a girl. which made me possessive and jealous slowly slowly he got more involved in that girl and is dating her now from last 20 days
he broke with me on this 31st dec 2014 and he said i behaved like i was having sympathy towards him and came into relationship. i too blamed him for my failure in academic year. now he hates me like anything
he says that he wasted 2 years of his life with me.
i love him very much.
i want him back.
I’m not contacting him from 10days
he blocked me
please guide me
i tried to wipe the misunderstandings between us with help of a mutual friend but he hated for that what i did.

admin

February 2, 2015 at 1:57 pm

Well, that means you have 20 days left to not contact him.

Blackwidow

February 1, 2015 at 1:51 am

Hi,

We broke up in Sept 2014.
He cheated on me.
We tried to reconcile but never works.
He with another person.

I dont want to give on this relationship.
How shall I get him back.

Im clueless.

Please advice.
Blackwidow

admin

February 2, 2015 at 1:51 pm

How many times did he cheat on you?

How did you find out?

sisi

January 30, 2015 at 11:37 pm

hi! Please help me. I had the best relationship of my life for 5 years. He was my best friend, lover, my support. A true partner. We had fun together and achieved so much individually because of the other. In my next relationship I would like the exact same relationship. The one problem we had was that he never felt good enough for me and kept putting himself down. I would try to validate him every single day!

Problem is he started chatting on whatsapp to a really obsessive girl and eventuallu it turned flirtatious. I didn’t know about any of this till afterwards. At some point they met up and she gave him oral sex.
It doesn’t look like they met up again afterwards but the flirting continued, even with love poems sent!

I eventually found after it had been going on for a month and dumped him. He’s been remorseful and finally sees her for the manipulative person she is. She basically fed his ego during a time when I was slightly busier than usual.

It’s been almost a month and a half. Should I move on or try again with him going to therapy for his insecuritY?

admin

January 31, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Have you used NC on him?

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1,052 thoughts on “He Cheated On You And You Want Him Back… What Do You Do?”