How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,987 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

April

October 7, 2013 at 9:38 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of almost 3 years with an ex biyfriend. It happened one time a few months ago. The ex and I continued to text back and forth about sexual stuff and he sent me a video that I said I loved. Well, his wife (whch he is seperated from) came over one morning and was going through his phone and saw texts that we had sent. She immediately called my bf. My bf confronted my ex (who we live with) and he admitted everything. And then I did. My bf said he would give me a second chance. He then told me this morning that it was over. I went through hell all day trying to process that. When he came home from work, we got into an arguement. It came down to where he is giving me my chance to prove my love for him. Which I greatly appreciate because I do truly love him. I will never hurt him again. Ever. My questions are this…should I continue to tell him I love him even though he won’t say it back and exactly how can I regain trust? I know the trust will come in time, but where do I start?

admin

October 8, 2013 at 2:19 am

Have you done the NC rule yet?

Marjoe

October 7, 2013 at 12:49 pm

I have a big problem now. Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for 5 years. We’re even now engaged. I moved abroad to get another job and our relationship was long distance. Because of indifference, we always fought over the internet, since that was the first time we got afar from each other. I met another foreigner in a workplace and his attention and smiles to me caught my awareness. Even at the beginning, he knew how to be nice to me. For the first time, i really like a guy other than my boyfriend. Being away from my boyfriend, I felt I had liberty to do anything I can. I know I was being too unfair for my boyfriend. Bit what i only knew was, i was enjoying. On our first meeting, that guy i liked and me had sex for the first date. I didnt like everything what happened because i was really feeling guilt. When my boyfriend visited me, he knew everything accidentally. I wasnt yet able to talk to the other guy regarding the situation because i was feeling that he was not interested to talk to me anymore in person, where i want the closure to be in person, to tell him that we should stop exchanging conversations through chat in the office. We couldnt stop, so the feeling couldnt stop as well. When my bf went back home to our country, he found out again accidentally the gmail account i created and forced me to tell that it’s mine and asked me to give the password. That night i was so confused and afraid, i asked the other gut to finally talk to me in person to settle all things that we should stop. My mistake was asking him to go to my house where we could talk for the last time. Something happened between us again in a very short while, after that we both felt guilty, exchanged sorry for each other, and said goodbyes. Finally the closure has been done. Unfortunately, my bf found out what happened again between us. I didnt want to ask how he finds out but eventually, the more important thing for me was to say the truth. Since telling a lie had been a very huge burden not only to him but also to me.

He spoke to the other guy already and that guy confessed to not talk with me anymore in the office and by any means and that he loves his gf also (which i never knew at first..)

What i only want now is to regain his trust to me. For him to love me again. I know i did a very big mistake. But i really hope and pray that he will give me another chance. I love jim sooo much! Never did i think to replace him by anyone else, even by the guy i liked)

I cannot live without my boyfriend. Please pray for me….

admin

October 8, 2013 at 1:57 am

I guress right now the best thing to do is NC him for a while (for both your sakes) and then come back and show him that you are only about HIM.
Marjoe

October 9, 2013 at 11:57 am

If i would do that he wont be at peace coz he might me thinking that our communication is still on going. He lost his trust to me.. but he wants to regain it.. because he doesnt want to leave me either. God knows that i dont have any plans to have communication again with that other guy. I REALLY REGRET EVERYTHING.. IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK THE TIME…

Naomi

October 6, 2013 at 8:34 am

I cheated on my boyfriend of a year this past summer. Where do I start? We had a lot of problems because there is a 6 year age difference and we had to sneak around a lot. In my heart I was never satisfied by the little bit of time I saw him. After us being together for 11 months, our relationship got boring intelectually and sexually. I went to see my friends in NY during the summer and went really crazy. I made myself convince my heart that we were on a needed “break”. I thought by going out and hooking up with guys would not have me wonder what it would be like to be with another guy. After the summer, our relationship, sexually, was amazing but he knew I was hiding things. After about 2 months he admits that he knows about one of the guys I cheated on him with. He is so hurt and I feel horrible. He was never supposed to find out and I honestly don’t know how he did but he knows. He was my world, my everything. I am trying to give him space but I find myself constantly texting him. I know I need to stop but I lost the best thing I ever had. Please help me.

admin

October 7, 2013 at 12:07 am

Yes you really really really need to stop. You are just poking a bear by constantly texting him.

brenda

October 1, 2013 at 3:44 pm

Kay so…I cheated on my boyfriend a while ago. And I didnt tell him I kinda just left him in a fog. I knew I was wrong by doing that but we were close to breaking up. I really love this man. We have been planning our life together for 4 years. We got our place and everything. I was going to leave with him like….next week. But last night he brought it up. And I honestly didnt want any secrets with him. I really love him. So I told him what had happened with this guy. He got super angry…and I know he’s hurt. I just want us to be back to what it was like before. Even though I know in my heart it probably wont get to that anytime soon. The thing the “cheating” happened 5 months ago. And he’s angry now. I dont know what to do!!!!! I really love him.

admin

October 2, 2013 at 12:46 am

Well of course he got angry haha.

But are you two still together?

Amy

September 30, 2013 at 8:03 pm

Hi,

my situation is very different. my boyfriend and I dated awhile back in April and we broke up in July because his ex girlfriend came back. His ex lives out of the country and she told him she is moving back to Canada to be with him. He told her he was with me, he told her to stay there and that he doesn’t want nothing from her. Our first argument, he asked me “what would you do if your ex moved back for you and spend a lot of money to be with you?” my replied was “I wouldn’t want to be with him because i found an amazing guy to be with and I wouldn’t want to lose you”. He’s afraid to leave her because he feels she is going harm herself. So, I followed your no contact rule but I shorten the time to 15 days instead because I’m not strong enough. Instead, I talk about us and using what if method. He said he never thought of us like that. We haven’t been together for 1 and a half months. I went to my favorite club and I never bring home a guy or I go home with a guy. I saw him at my favorite club with his ex, she wanted me to meet him and so I did. awkward.. So i walked away and started dancing meeting another guy and my bf watched me the whole night. He was jealous but it wasn’t my intention. This other guy and I started hanging out. my boyfriend didn’t care if i kiss a guy, hug a guy, or even touch a guy but sleeping with a guy… he got mad and doesn’t want nothing to do with me. he saw me from the top of the list drop way down to the bottom and he just doesn’t trust me anymore and said this is it, no more and its done. This other guy and I went out 2 weeks before i slept with him. this is when my boyfriend and i haven’t been together for 2 months. he said he has reputation and doesn’t like to be talked behind his back. so I said to him, I made a mistake and you’re with an ex right now, you’re always fighting with her and whenever you’re with me everything you say or do i don’t get mad or even judge you. He said he will think about it and that was yesterday we last day we ever spoke. And since yesterday he caught me lying was the day we are suppose to hang out the whole day together but we shorten to half day because he was disappointed in me. because it took him and I months before i slept with him and he said you don’t even know this dude and you’re already sleeping with him and i told him i was thinking about him and made him stop. I don’t know what to do at this point. I didn’t talk to him yesterday or today at all and thanksgiving is coming up on Oct 12 in Canada and he told me to remind him.. so Should i not talk to him until thanksgiving on oct 11 or on that day last min notice? help me please.

admin

October 1, 2013 at 2:45 am

Wow your thanksgiving is Oct 12? It is in November here in the states. That is so wild.

I say talk to him the day AFTER thanksgiving.

genyl

September 30, 2013 at 5:55 am

hi admin
i was in a long distance relationship n i cheated on my boyfriend.we have been talkng casually.he s
aid we can be friends and talk casually.but two weeks ago he has been ignoring me.im really confused what might have gone through his mind to change all of a sudden.i really want him back.please help

admin

October 1, 2013 at 2:50 am

Well, he is probably upset about the cheating thing. Have you read the LDR post on this site?

olivia

September 29, 2013 at 8:11 am

I really don’t know what to do, I was talking to this guy called James but it didn’t work out so I went to a party and did something with another lad to forget about James but the day of the party I started to talk to the boy called haydon. Me and Haydon got together but we split up cause he thought that one of his mates kissed me and when he found out that it wasn’t true we got back together then when we was at someone’s party his mates came up to him and told him about the things that had happened at the party where I made the mistake he had a massive go at me infont of everyone so me and one of my friends walk off and he came running after me shouted at me again and told me that he hated me then some of us went to the shop and he waited outside the shop for me and told all of his mates to go away and he told me that he is really angry with me, that he doesn’t love me anymore but he still really likes me and that he doesn’t want nothing to do with me even though he has been texting me all night I just want him back I really love him and I don’t know what I would do without him please help!

admin

September 30, 2013 at 12:45 am

Well, initially the NC rule is a smart place to start.

Alady

September 29, 2013 at 7:23 am

i think i cheated on my bf because he was putting so distance between us.. and when i admitted it to him he wasn’t very mad he was confused and surprised but even thou we got over it pretty soon he still said we should break out for a while… we were best friends for two years before we got together and then 7 months later was when we broke up. the problem is is that he would be sweet for the first five minutes of a convo then be absolutely mean and sarcastic with me. i asked if its was because i cheated and he said he could care lass about the guy. but he refuses to tell me how he feels. and one day i blow up and him and told him off and all he said was “okay”. i love him and i really wanted him back. help?

admin

September 30, 2013 at 12:43 am

Question!

How can you not know if you cheated on your boyfriend?

hazel

September 28, 2013 at 4:01 pm

how do i regain the trust of my boyfriend of 2 years as i have cheated him?

my boyfriend and me had a steady relationship for 2 years before breaking up.after breaking up,we had contact with each other but to get him back in my life again,i used another guy to make my boyfriend feel jealous.but while doing this i went too out of the way and flirted a lot with the other guy.now my boyfriend is back in my life but it is like i have cheated on him during the time of our break up and he came to know about the whole thing and now he can’t trust me anymore.mean while,i have severed all contacts with the other guy when my boyfriend came back.

my boyfriend has given me 1 last chance to change myself and become the girl i was initially whom he loved.my boyfriend told me that in the remaining 2 years of college if i can become the girl he loved and can rebuild my image,he will accept me back into his life.please give me ways on how i can rebuild my image in his eyes and actually give him the assurance that i am the same girl he loved?how can i gain back his trust again?

he also doesn’t want me to call him anymore and has said that he will contact me only when he wants so things have become more difficult.so i can’t keep contacting him all the time.i actually am very very guilty about what i did but i have realised my mistake and its magnitude.i truly love my boyfriend and want him back in my life.

he doesn’t answer my calls or texts and so things have become more difficult.he is a very emotional person.probably more than i am.

admin

September 30, 2013 at 12:01 am

First off you are going to have to give him some time. Cheating can be hard to come back from. Nevertheless, by giving him time and down the road reassuring him it was a one time thing you can save face.
hazel

November 10, 2013 at 8:10 am

hey chris,
after failing at NC for 2 times,i started it the 3rd time again.i was doing it well this time.didn’t contact him in any way and was concentrating on myself.but at the end of 20 days,he called me.today is the 21st day.he called me last night when i was sleeping so i didn’t receive his calls.today morning i saw 25 missed calls so i assumed it must be something very important else he wouldn’t call so many times.so i called him back and he told he called me as he was missing me.he talked nicely and said he has forgiven me already but didn’t say anything about coming back into relationship.said that we are friends for now.and i told him while hanging up that i won’t call him again.he can call me when he wants to.

but if i just wait for the next time he calls,he will call me when he wants and not when he doesn’t want to.its like transferring control in his hands.so should i start the NC again?if i start it this time,i won’t be able to contact him for 50 days as our vacations start during the NC so there’s no possibility of contacting after 30 days.i have done the NC for 20 days already.or should i just wait and take it slow and let him talk to me when he wants to?
admin

November 10, 2013 at 9:59 pm

Well its ok. There is such a thing as extended NC period.
hazel

November 11, 2013 at 1:01 pm

thanks for ur advice chris..
so u mean to say that i should redo the NC and not contact him at all again till the NC is over?
admin

November 11, 2013 at 6:43 pm

I think so.
hazel

November 12, 2013 at 3:59 pm

ok..
hazel

November 28, 2013 at 11:29 am

hey chris,
i am doing the NC for the 4th time and this time successfully.today is the 10th day and he had called me 2 days back which i ignored.originally i thought i would do an extended NC for about 50 days but i have been keeping track of all your pages and your
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-make-an-ex-boyfriend-trust-you-again/
page says that a 15 day NC would be alright.so that leaves me with 5 more days.so should i do the 15 day NC or the 50 day one?and if i do a 15 day NC how should i initiate the conversation?because i guess he is going to be angry as i ignored his last call.
admin

November 29, 2013 at 1:44 am

Well that would depend on your situation…

You have to kind of know how he will react to a bout of NC. If he can’t take much then maybe a 15 day NC is ideal.
hazel

December 6, 2013 at 5:28 pm

hey chris,we have started talking over the phone!!all thanks to you.but now the thing is that its mostly me who calls and he hardly calls.so do i need to give it more time or should i keep communication open and call him everyday?
hazel

December 2, 2013 at 5:24 pm

hey chris,guess what..i texted him and he called me back.though we didn’t talk for long and the conversation was a casual one and he said he would call me back later.so what next?
hazel

November 30, 2013 at 6:18 am

ok chris..i would text him ..its 3 days to go for the 15 day NC to be over as i am pretty sure a 50 day one would be too much for him.but how do i approach him first?because he is sure gonna be angry as i ignored his last call and he may not even answer me at once.
admin

November 30, 2013 at 7:06 pm

Well you never know until you try.
hazel

November 29, 2013 at 12:20 pm

ok.thanks a lot chris for your consistent advice.
the thing is that i am hoping the NC will make him get rid of his ego but i am sure that since i didn’t receive his call the other day,he isn’t going to call me back atleast for now.again i feel that if i do the 50 day NC it’ll be too long and he may assume that i am trying to forget him.so maybe the 15 day NC is ideal but i doubt if he is going to talk to me at once after the NC of 15 days since i ignored him the last time.i am sure he is going to show his anger by not answering.
how am i going to approach him after the NC?what should i text?or should i call directly?the 15 day NC has just 4 days left now.
admin

November 30, 2013 at 4:33 am

Your welcome.

I would text him its the less threatening method.
hazel

September 29, 2013 at 4:38 pm

if i start the NC rule for a month,should i respond if he tries to contact me during this time?if i don’t then won’t he start thinking if i am cheating him again and trying to remove him from my mind? and what reason shall i give as to why i was ignoring his calls and messages?because whatever reason i give,he won’t trust me easily now.
admin

September 30, 2013 at 12:51 am

Yea the idea is to NOT respond to him if he reaches out UNLESS you feel that he can get unblievably angry to the point where he will never talk to you again. However, I say in most cases ignore them no matter what.

Syd

September 28, 2013 at 1:05 am

Hey! I was dating this Arab guy for almost a year. He made me mad about three months ago and I called my ex boyfriend. For the last three months I was hanging out with my ex and sleeping with him. About a week ago I finally decided to call it quits with my ex. This past wednesday which was my birthday, my ex decided to go to my boyfriends store and told him everything. Now the my boyfriend wants nothing to do with me, but my ex still wants to marry me. Please help should I marry this guy or go get my Arab back? If so how? He hates me!

admin

September 28, 2013 at 3:40 am

Well, that is messed up on your part (no offense.)

Start with the NC rule.

Jillian

September 27, 2013 at 11:19 pm

I just wanted some advice. It’s been almost two months since my boyfriend broke up with me. He broke up with me because I was “sexting” another guy for the third time. I learned my lesson now though because of this break up. I really want him back because I love him and he was a really good boyfriend and best friend. Since the break up, we remained on/off friends (and hung out occasionally) with minor arguments; then just go back to being friends since we have a close bond. I asked him a few times after the break up if we can get back together and he changes his answer from: no, to maybe in time, then to I don’t know. But recently I think he saw me talking to another guy on Twitter and got really mad at me. He started randomly texting me saying he no longer wanted to be friends with me, he won’t ever trust me again, and we’re never going to be together again. He talks to other girls on twitter sometimes and even went on a date, so I didn’t think he would get mad if I was doing the same thing. He then blocked me on Twitter, Instagram, and even blocked my number. I haven’t talked to him since he blocked me a few days ago. So how would you advice me to get him back? I was thinking the NC rule and just give him space. But also in about 30 days, is his birthday and I wanted to surprise him after the NC period with a thoughtful gift but I don’t know if that is a good idea or not.

admin

September 28, 2013 at 3:38 am

Honestly, I don’t think the gift idea is best. You can if you want I obviously can’t stop you but I think it is too much too soon.

Lena

September 27, 2013 at 5:16 am

So, i totally fell for Ashleigh more than a year ago. Ive told him how i felt and that i wanted a relationship with him. He determined that we were both not in a position to be in a relationship but he was ok with fwb. I wasnt cuz im Mormon but when i thought about losing him, i decided he was worth it. So we slept together and it was awkward. He would ignore my texts and calls aftrward and i felt so rejected. Since i felt like things were over for us i began talking to another guy that Ashleigh had already told me i shouldnt talk to(probably because he was jealous). The other guy knew pretty much that i was clearly not over Ashleigh so that was awkward as well. We slept together and it was great but i couldnt get over Ashleigh. As soon as i left other guys house, i texted him that it wasnt gonna work for me and he didnt seem to mind. So, after a few days i decide to contact Ashleigh because im moving to another state very soon and suddenly he wants to see me before i leave. We hung out but it was awkward. We argued about non-issues and he left. I decided to tell him the truth about what i did and now hes so upset with me. We are not a couple but i still love him. How can i at least get him to just be my friend again? I leave this Tuesday and really want to see him before i go. So much time was wasted. Im super bummed about this.

admin

September 28, 2013 at 2:43 am

You may have to take a little break before talking with him again.

And really slowly ease back into things.

Don’t be bummed just let the experience improve you as a human being! That way you can look back one day and say you were glad it happened.

Lauren Buchanan

September 26, 2013 at 7:57 pm

I cheated on the love of my life because I felt neglected. He started rarely took me out on dates, having sex, and doing little sweet things (notes, drawings, flowers) for me. He was caught up in his music (which is beautiful). When I started to feel this way, I talked to him about it and he said he would work on on it. Days, months, passed by and it never improved, so when a friend of mine from the other side of the country texted me saying things I hadn’t heard in a while I accepted the attention. We sexted. ONCE. I sent ONE picture of my butt (with undies on). He checked my phone while I was sleeping and woke me up by yelling. He is really hurt and we’ve been together for 3 years. He’s being very stubborn and won’t sit down and talk to for more than 5 minutes. He still has things at my house that he needs to get and every time he comes over I try and talk to him, but he is so mad that he can’t listen. He says he loves me and misses me, but he’s NOT IN LOVE with me. He’s treating me like I went out and had sex with some one else. I know I am wrong and things that were said between me and the other guy were pretty dirty, but it was NEVER physical or emotional. I just liked the attention. I really want things for him and I to work and I would do anything to have him back. He is my best friend and I love and miss him more than anything. How do I make this work? How can I get him to trust me again? How will he fall in love with me again?

London

September 27, 2013 at 7:29 pm

I cheated on my ex in January 2013..I cut off all ties to the guy because I realized that is not what I really wanted. I talked to my ex about how I required more time from him and how I needed attention. I felt like he was hiding me from others he never wanted me to post us on social networks or anything.. he found out about my infidelity in August 2013 from an unknown source. He is acting like it just happened, I was completely honest about it when he told me. I feel like he hates me and is never going to come around, all we do is argue and fight and do tit for tat….He has went on one date with a girl since our break-up 3 weeks ago. I feel like he is trying to hurt me and trying to get me back for what I did to him… Can you help me understand why he is being so harsh? also do you think he can ever get over it? He is no saint by far he has done things too. We have since been to couples counseling and he said he didn’t want to work it out but he showed up…I am so confused and I cant stop calling him b/c I want to make it right!! HELP!
admin

September 28, 2013 at 3:32 am

Ok, calling him constantly is not going to help the situation. Are the two of you still in counseling?
London

October 23, 2013 at 6:41 pm

No he doesn’t want to do counseling….he stated that he doesn’t want anything with me and he cant pursue anything with me…he says he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else and still wants to sleep with me but doesn’t want a relationship anymore. I think I hurt him terribly and I think he is seeing other people now as well…what do I do?
admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Well, remove yourself from the situation for a while. That is the best thing at this point.
admin

September 27, 2013 at 6:08 am

I guess that constitutes cheating but it’s really not that bad so I think you have a shot definitely.

Right now give him time to calm down so the thing to do is hit the NC rule.

Dana

September 25, 2013 at 6:32 pm

I was mad at him for some reasons do I cheated on him with his cousin but only talking and flirting by phone just to make him burn things got pretty good with me and my ex so I left that cousin thing behind my back and moved on with my ex months later he knew so we broke up I called his cousin kinda became friends I was down and told him about what was going on my ex came back then days later I confess about talking to his cousin again he got mad without telling me
He came back home for a week and he was texting me he’s dying to see me and he loves me I knew he was home from friends as I was counting days till he comes back I called him then he told me about me talking to his cousin and he asked not to call him I’m so hearted broken bcz he was lying to my emotion I don’t know what to do or why he did that

admin

September 26, 2013 at 3:21 am

Thats it that is all you did? Flirted on the phone with the cousin.

Thats not even cheating.
Dana

September 26, 2013 at 5:17 am

So what do u think ? He’s so mad now do u think we have a chance
admin

September 27, 2013 at 3:45 am

I think its worth a shot if it is what YOU want!

Sunny

September 25, 2013 at 2:57 pm

Admin, HELP ME! I’m such an ass…!
My bf lives in another country and he was somewhat ignoring me.. He was too busy for me while playing games that kind of thing… So I met someone (online) and got into this super quick relationship with him.. It started cause I was lonely and feeling unloved, these were the reasons; I’m completely aware of my reasons.
My bf noticed that I was distancing myself but I was too happy with my new guy… Maybe it was some revenge taking control of me…
Then, yesterday, he emailed me some HOT pics (I mean, my “lover boy”) and at the same moment my bf “broke in” my email! He started attacking me saying i shouldnt contact me anymore and how shocked he was!
And in 2min I told a friend and she said that she was fowarding some voiceclips of her bf to me so I could translate it for her (English isnt our main language and she cant listen and understand it, only read and write).

I know. This is the most ridiculous excused ever.
And no im not 15…!

He said he was too confused and couldnt believe it. Then he said he was going to log out (but he didnt). So he went to bed and i kept sending msgs until now when i read your post…
Im still online but i said that i was going to let him think for a while and swearing that i didnt cheat on him..!

Im such a monster…
I love him.
This was prob one of the most fucked up mistakes of my life!
Please help me!
Hes very emotional!

admin

September 26, 2013 at 3:10 am

You are not a monster don’t say that.

Am I right in assuming that the two of you have a LDR?

Annabel

September 24, 2013 at 6:50 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of two years with my best friend, I came clean talked to him and we broke up… So I did the 30 days of no contact and all that jazz. So on Sunday I met up with him and we got tea and caught up. And we talked about us. He told me that he doesn’t think we should be together right now because in a year we will be going to different schools, I will move to northern Ca and he will be in southern Ca. Soo my questions are, do you think he is over me? And if not then do you think we could get back together and try to make the long distance thing work?

admin

September 25, 2013 at 1:14 am

No I don’t but your situation of the schools complicate things.
Annabel

September 28, 2013 at 5:15 pm

How can you tell if he is over the situation and just want to date new people? He won’t straight out tell me so I don’t know if I should move on or if I should wait.
admin

September 30, 2013 at 12:02 am

If he ignores you every single time you talk (and I mean ignores you a lot) then things aren’t looking good.
Annabel

September 30, 2013 at 2:39 pm

So shoud I just stop trying now? And what do I do if a couple of months down the road he wants to try again.
admin

October 1, 2013 at 2:41 am

Only if you want to. And if down the road he wants to try again and you still want him back then go for it!

briana

September 24, 2013 at 12:43 pm

I been with my now ex for about a year now .. we been up and downbutmanaged to stick thru. last week was the first timeI had sex behindhisback. it wasn’t nomore than like 7 minutes. .Butthe guilt killed me so I told him. now he is gone.. I really dnt want anyone else I need him back.. Hello.!

admin

September 25, 2013 at 12:53 am

Hello? I think you meant help right?

First step is to implement the NC. PRO might also be helpful for you.

Will I Get Married

September 24, 2013 at 11:09 am

I have been a serial flirt from my college days. The first guy I went out with was two-timing and we broke up. Next I just flirted with a couple of guys before I met my ex. It was a long-term relationship and we have had sex and we were getting closer to the point where I even told my parents about him. Then he broke up with me after he got a new girlfriend saying that I am bad and everything is my fault. It left me heart-broken and I went back to flirting till I met my current boyfriend. Initially when I met him, I didn’t have any intentions beyond friendship with him and even though I had given up on flirting before I met him, I was still in touch with a few people whom I had previously flirted with.

However when I started having feelings for my BF, i started edging out others from my life even as friends and finally when I knew I loved him, I completely cut ties with them. The problem now is that, have confessed to everything I had done so far in life to him. But I had lied out of fear in the beginning and now he couldn’t trust me anymore.

Moreover, he says I cheated by even talking to those people when we were friends and insists that some rumors spread by people that I’ve slept around a lot is true. Both of us are great together in all ways but these problems are killing us. We couldnt’t leave each other and we love each other with our whole hearts and yet I don’t know how to deal with this problem. I know I have made a lot of mistakes but I want to make him see that I love him and those rumors are not true. What should I do?

admin

September 25, 2013 at 12:50 am

Just talk to him. Lay everything out on the table. Just be really calm go someplace quiet where the two of you can just have a talk.
Will I Get Married

September 25, 2013 at 4:37 am

We have spoken over everything exhaustively. He still believes that I am hiding more things about my past but I have told him 100% including every excruciating details of my past flings which he asked. I couldn’t find any way to convince him that I will not cheat on him. I even suggested a small break to re-evaluate things between us but he says that we will breakup if we don’t talk to each other even for one day as he can’t trust me. The only solution he comes up with is getting married secretly for now but I don’t want to go ahead with it. What is the best way to deal with his insecurities, get past over what happened and focus on the present and future?
admin

September 26, 2013 at 2:40 am

This guy sounds unstable to me… no offense.
Will I Get Married

October 3, 2013 at 3:44 am

How to get him to chase me? Right now it is like I’ve to be 24×7 with him in person/texting/calling or else he’ll crack up saying that I am with some boyfriends. So I spend pretty much all my time with him even if he scolds me for my past or calls me rude names. In this case, how do I get him interested in me for being me and also to rebuild his trust in me?
admin

October 4, 2013 at 12:15 am

Honestly, you may need to cut off his umbilical cord. If he is wanting to be with you at all times you may need to tell him that YOU need some time away.
Will I Get Married

September 30, 2013 at 5:57 am

We are about to breakup. I don’t think that NC will work with him. I love him too much to let him go. We know we are perfect for each other in all ways except for my past which keeps coming up. What can I do to make him stay with me?
admin

October 1, 2013 at 2:42 am

Get him chasing you again.
Will I Get Married

September 26, 2013 at 12:05 pm

Sorry for again posting before I got reply for my previous post admin 🙁 But this is consfusing. He keeps changing his mind as to whether to be together or to breakup. I told him that I won’t breakup but he says that he won’t breakup and we can carry on this way for two years till we get married to other people. It is like he swings between “I love you,I can’t leave you, I want to marry you” and “I cannot be with you. You are an ***hole. You are second-hand and worth nothing. No use marrying you”. This is really affecting my work badly 🙁
admin

September 27, 2013 at 5:43 am

Well, you need to show him that there are consequences to playing around with you.
Will I Get Married

September 26, 2013 at 3:57 am

There is just no good way at all to assure him. I am 23 and he will be 25 in a few days. Problem is that he is similar to my ex in doubting me. He has restricted my contacts with other guys saying that he’ll doubt me even if I am away from him for 2 minutes and has asked for the call histories of me and my parents phones to check on me. I want to make it work with this guy but I do not know how to deal with him. If I take a step back, he says that I don’t love him as he loves me. If I do something sweet, he tells me not to act. Are all men like this when it comes to the past?
PS: I am from India and every guy I have come across so far seems to fall into the same category of being unable to deal with GF’s past.
admin

September 27, 2013 at 3:33 am

Some men are and some men aren’t. I know that isn’t exactly a perfect answer but it is the truth.

Lia

September 24, 2013 at 10:53 am

I cheated on my boyfriend and of course I want him back…what’s the tough part, we still stay together. I realized my mistake and told him I am ready to go through any lengths to get him back…all he says is he can ‘casual date’ me but the love is dead. Now I understand that the wound is still raw. But what is worse is that he has already started flirting with other women and has met one also. It hurts like hell, the same way it hurt him when he found out. I am not sure what to do…I still take care of him like a baby…I cant just let him go like that. He says he flirts with other women because he needs to ‘get out of this feeling’. Its just been a few days…I know its going to take more time for him to realize about us…but I am scared…what if he likes another girl and moves on…I am not a person to loose faith fast, but cant help at times it just scares the shit out of me…tell me what more can I do???

admin

September 25, 2013 at 12:49 am

Honestly, I would cut him off. I would do a NC for 30 days.

I would do this b/c he has to know that there are consequences to not being with you.
Lia

September 26, 2013 at 9:00 am

Thanks so much…I am planning to move out of that apartment soon as it holds too much of memories and I am falling sick everyday. Its so difficult to imagine my day without him…but its more difficult staying together and behaving like strangers. So you say NC for 30days…long time 🙂 but I guess without trying there is no other way to know right?
admin

September 27, 2013 at 5:35 am

If you need some motivation please check out the Success Section!

Michelle

September 24, 2013 at 6:32 am

I cheated on my boyfriend on Sunday.. I was out and had way too much to drink. I know that being drunk is not an excuse, so I’m not going to use that. I don’t remember anything from that night until I received an email from my now ex that next morning saying that we were over and he wishes me the best.

I kissed another guy while I was drunk and my friend called my bf to pick me up and take me home. I didn’t realise she had called him and he rocked up with me aparently in the arms of another man.. He tried to take me home and I wouldn’t stop calling him names and running away from him..

I still have no clue if he knows I cheated on him or if he’s broken up with me for the way I spoke to him and being in another mans arms.. I’m sure he’s thought the worst.

I ended up getting in the car with this other man and he dropped me home- (this is all I do remember) my bf aparently saw me get in the car with the man and drive off..

I feel so horrible that I have behaved this way, and I know that this is my own responsibility. I can’t imagine how he would be feeling..

Do you think I should tell him that I kissed the other guy if it comes up? I’m afraid if I do, then it will totally ruin the chances of us getting back together.. But then again I don’t want to lie to him. Maybe he knows I cheated on him.. Or maybe he isn’t sure. He never said in the email that he knows I cheated.

We have only been together for a few months, and he is the best bf I have ever had.. I can not lose him.. He means everything to me.

Please help me 🙁

admin

September 25, 2013 at 12:46 am

Well, I think you have to come up with the decision so I am not going to help you with that. I will tell you though that if you do tell him he is likely to get very angry but you will feel better about yourself.

the cheating was it just a kiss or something more?
Michelle

September 26, 2013 at 6:46 am

It was a kiss.. A very drunk meaningless kiss.. He is talking to me now I stayed with him last night and he is full of different emotions.. He told me he hated me for breaking his heat and then started calling me names- probably out of hurt to try and hurt me.. He said he wanted to kill himself.. Then he cuddled me, then he became angry again.. he is a wreck. I have told him how horrible i feel and that I will do anything to fix our relationship. When I went to leave on a few occasions because I couldn’t put up with him calling me names anymore he didn’t want me to leave.. I wrote him an email today saying that I think he needs space and time to figure out what he wants..
I relise there’s going to be a long road to recovery if we do get back together.. I have promised him I will change for the best.. I know only time will heal this.. But I’m so scared he won’t give me another chance.
He tried calling me after I sent him the email.. I don’t know if I should give him time and ignor his calls etc so he can think what he wants or should I answer him?? I’m scared he’s not emotionally stable and I want to help him but I also don’t want to smother him.. Please help me x
admin

September 27, 2013 at 3:49 am

Let everything settle down a bit. Nothing good usually gets accomplished when someone is emotionally unstable.

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