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Post categories
Angelica
May 17, 2016 at 5:56 am
Hi. My ex-boyfriend and I have dated for about 4 years and 9 months. Within those last 9 months, we were away from each other because we had to go to different colleges. It was really hard, we didn’t meet up that much at all. I got disappointed at him because he couldn’t make much effort to see or visit me. I broke up with him twice. The first time I broke up with him was because I couldn’t handle the distance and the lack of effort we were giving to each other, the next day I asked him for us to get back together since I couldn’t handle him not being there. The second time I broke up with him was because I cheated on him with my close friend. Weeks before I told him I cheated, I told him I’m starting to like that guy. I begged him to make an effort for me so that I would fall in love with him again. He didn’t do anything. Right now, he’s hurt. I hurt him. He said I was weak. He’s off on a date right now with his first love, his bestfriend since childhood. I don’t know what to do…
Angelica
May 22, 2016 at 4:52 am
Hey Jennifer!
Well, the day after I broke up with him, I begged him to come back (low of me, but I love the guy). He got mad, saying things like he didn’t fight for me because I didn’t fight for him. I asked him if there’s still a chance that he’d give me another chance, he told me he’d think about it. After a few days, I sent him another long message, I told him this was going to be the last. I told him everything, why I cheated, why I did it, all the details. I told him I wanted to fix our relationship, build up the trust back, start from the beginning. He just seenzoned me though, but it’s alright. I haven’t spoken to him since. My plan for now is to just continue studying, let him heal for a while. I am just waiting for him right now. I don’t know though, whether I should wait or do something about it.
Jennifer Seiter
May 21, 2016 at 2:15 am
Have you read the long distance post? That is an important factor here. https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
You may have to do a short no contact (21 days). Your in a tough spot because you have two issues to overcome. The cheating and the long distance. What is your current plan and we can help you from there?
Alyssa
May 15, 2016 at 11:30 pm
My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago because I cheated on him and broke his last bit of a trust. I know it hasn’t been very long, but every day feels like a week. We had a bit of trust issues and distance between us, but I’d like to show him things could be different and that I don’t want to hurt him or anyone that way again. We haven’t broke up before but we have come close, we been together for over a year. He was the first guy I experienced things with, and I think losing him will be a very big wake up call to do some soul searching and figure out who I want to be. I’d really like to get him back at some point and I’m trying not to beg and look desperate. He still wants to stay friends and possibly hang out again in the future. He plans to still take me to prom in a week I just don’t want things to be awkward and set myself up to be rejected. The fact that he wants to stay friends shows he still cares but he has his guard up, gives me some hope I can show him that people can change. He is getting sort of mad that I keep sending him long msgs, but I can’t help but think of him I can barley sleep because of it. Do you have any advice on how I can handle this?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 19, 2016 at 8:19 am
Hi ALyssa,
are you open to following Chris’ advice above?
Clusia
May 10, 2016 at 10:20 pm
Hello,
My boyfriend (A) broke up after 6 month of relationship, because he was fed-up about my lack of communication because he saw I had a problem and asked me a lot about this. But, my problem was that I have kissed my ex-boyfriend two times when I was in couple with A (because of emotional reasons). After a month of no-contact, I finally talked with A, but the talking became an argument where he said the break-up was a way to know if I was really attached to our couple (and because of my ego, I failed). So, we began to talk about the fact to get back together, he wasn’t sure and wanted time. However, I told him about my affair, and we talked about it. He finally said he could not go back together, and when I asked him if there were really no chance left for me, he said “not now”. However, he told me I didn’t have to wait for him and I should go with a better guy (I told him I had tried when I was single, and found guys with better situations than him but they were tasteless because they weren’t him). We agreed we should not contact each other for a time, and that it should be him to send the first message (but after reading your article, I regret this decision). When I left him, I knew he still loved me but the hurt was too much for the moment and I didn’t insist. At least, when I said it was probably the last time we see each other, he denied it and promised me that we will meet again.
It’s only two week since I told him about my cheating, and I know I have to give him time, but do you think I should wait for his message or send him even so after a few weeks if he didn’t do it ? (I have already apologized to him, told him I loved him and only him because even if he was hurt, he was rational and we could have talken about all of this).
Thanks for reading all of this, and thanks for your future advice. (I’m sorry if my syntax is bad, I’m not English)
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 12:41 am
HI Clusia,
Your English is ok 🙂 Try to start with active no contact.. start count from the time you read this and do 21 days. YOu can’t include the days before this because you haven’t started to improve yourself.. So, try to do 21 days active no contact first. Improve yourself and be active in posting about it and then initiate a first contact text with him after 21 days.
Pretty
May 10, 2016 at 2:39 pm
Hi, i met my “boyfriend”last year in July, few weeks after i broke up with my ex. We were awesome together it felt so real. we went back to our home country, and it got stronger there until i came back to uni in england. I saw my ex and old feelings came back and i was so selfish, he also knew my ex btw. I did stuff with my ex more than 5 times and the last time when i told him i think he had his last straw. The first time i cheated was because my feelings for my ex was still there and the second time too. But the third and fourth time was because it felt like h was losing interest in me and acting weird with me. Not calling me, not picking up my calls, always shouting at me. When i told him about the last one, he felt he was at fault too and i thought we settled it but after a week, his attitude changed like he hated me. I obviously kept calling and texting but he hung up at every litle thing. I feel like i have lost someone so good to me and karma will come back so i tried getting him to forgive me so i could move on but he always got angry and said he would not give me a sense of relief. The unfortunate thing is all these r happening during my exam period. I have decided to block him off everything and not contact him but my fear is the karma, and also what if he never contacts me? Because he is so full of himself.
This website is so helpful thou. Thanks
Pretty
May 17, 2016 at 6:46 pm
Yeah i cheated on bf 2 with bf 1 and everytime it happened, i told him. BF 2 said he does not know how to talk to me anymore and i need to give him time but im scared that within this time he will get more paranoid and not want to talk to me
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 1:48 pm
it’s better if you give him space because if you push it, he might get annoyed
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 14, 2016 at 12:34 pm
Hi Pretty,
I’m a bit confused.. did you cheat with bf 2 by being back together with bf 1? When did bf 2 knew you were seeing bf 1?
marg
May 8, 2016 at 7:03 pm
Hello,
So I was with my boyfriend for just about 2 years. I had recently just cheated on him. As much as he is hurt I am really hurt to. I really care about him and love him more than anything. He has been my rock for this time. He means the world to me. Basically I don’t know why I did it. I do not know if it was being emotional about school finishing up and a bunch of changes coming through within a month span. I did not mean to do it. I tried talking to him about it. He is still in shock I did it and I do not blame him. So basically all of this went down on Tuesday. I have been contacting him to try to talk to him and win him back because I love him. He talked angrily at me until Thursday afternoon. He has started to ignore me since, and during our graduation ceremony for school yesterday he wouldn’t even look at me. He seemed to be fine like nothing happened and I just wouldn’t even talk to anyone. I kept crying so badly. What should I do? I want him back so badly.
marg
May 13, 2016 at 12:35 am
I had cheated on him once. He got upset with me. He stopped talking to me for awhile. I was able to get him to talk to me. I have uunderlying depression and anxiety. So I got him to understand to talk to me. He said we could never be able to be with each other again besides friends. He doesn’t trust me anymore even though he knows it was a mistake. I am just as surprised and hurt like he is because I do not know what made me even do it and I didn’t even think anything of the guy I cheated with. But he’s afraid I will do it again. He is the love of my life and do not see myself with anyone but him. We had that best friend but lover relationship. If it was not for him for the two years we were together I would not have experienced as much in life and had so much fun and known what it feels like to have someone to love me and for me to love back. Also he had saved from me from totally damaging my life from depression which is hard. I have told him I willing to do whatever it takes to gain his trust back and to get him back because I know how much he cares about me like I do about him. He still says he cares about me and he wouldn’t go practically design and pick out an engagement ring for me. I am willing to take any advice given to me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 5:33 am
that’s good..follow Chris’ advice above.. and try to heal by yourself, not relying from others.. Find your own happiness, the kind of happiness that you can experience alone.
marg
May 8, 2016 at 7:19 pm
He says I ruined his life because he was in the process of buying me an engagement ring, etc. So I do not know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 9, 2016 at 7:25 am
Hi Marg,
I’m sorry what happened.. are you willing to do Chris’ advice in this post?
Sandra
May 8, 2016 at 4:22 pm
My ex boyfriend found i had a friend from school on my facebook because i told him to block my bf because he didn’t want me to add guys and i have no female friends simply because there are not many girls in my classes (i study engineering) and he thought i cheated on him and he dumped me, i apologize and do many things to show him i never loved anyone else but him, we were in LDR so i sent him letters and gifts and videos during 3months that the breakup lasted!!. The last words we exchanged were hurtful for both, he said i was disgusting and a whore (he was my 1st bf so i’m virgin) and i said cruel things to him back in anger and pain, then he said to never communicate to him again. I feel so hurt by all of that and i’ve been doing NC for over a month but i’m afraid ifi text him he won’t reply or ask: what do you want in a mean way) he’s a very emotional person. What can i do? He’s now all over “his female friend” they are so close now after we broke up and seems suspicious to me.
Sandra
May 9, 2016 at 1:56 pm
after we broke up he got so close together with his female friend. We were breaking up since January and the break up lasted until March by me doing things to prove him i didn’t cheat on him.. after that i’ve been doing NC because he stopped replying to me after the fight we had.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 10, 2016 at 3:04 am
don’t feel bad because you didn’t do anything bad and you did your best to prove him that you’re not cheating.. actually it looks more like he’s just using that as an excuse to break up with you..
Sandra
May 9, 2016 at 1:53 pm
No, we’re not dating anymore. It was ldr and we were palnning to see each other but we didn’t. I don’t have him on any social media but i feel bad the way we broke up. I wish he didn’t hate me or anything.
Sandra
May 8, 2016 at 4:36 pm
we dated for 2 years in LDR
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 9, 2016 at 3:47 am
Hi Sandra,
I don’t get it.. do you mean you asked your friend in school to block your boyfriend because he doesn’t want you befriending other boys? If that’s the case, you didn’t cheat.. and the problem is he really on his side.. his irrationally jealous.. don’t tolerate by being the one to apologize if you didn’t do anything because you’re like confirming his insecurities.. and you’re currently in ldr? how often do you see each other?
I know you want him back but with that thinking, it’s a toxic relationship because he’s going to continue making up things to be angry at you.. we’re not even sure if he really is jealous or he’s just using that because he himself is hiding something from you.
Sasha
May 6, 2016 at 4:21 pm
So my situation is slightly different. I felt as if I wasn’t getting enough attention from my boyfriend emotionally and sexually. We’ve been fighting so much the past month and I texted another guy. It was a sexual conversation and my boyfriend went through my messages and found it. I’ve hurt him so much he won’t even look at me. I made a HUGE mistake and if I could take it back I would. I never physically cheated on him but still cheating is cheating. I’ve read the above article and this is why I said my situation is a little different, I live with my boyfriend. Right now he’s sleeping on the couch and avoiding me completely. I don’t know what to do or where to start.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 12:01 pm
Hi Sasha,
it’s different because you live with each other right? check this post out for that
: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend
but with the cheating steps you can still follow he steps above
and my take is that, if you haven’t explained why you did it, explain it first before doing nc.. if you tried and he didn’t listen, write it down why..just the reason why you did it and then apologize.. don’t beg him back.. it’s just an explanatory letter so that he has something to think about before you do nc
Bethany
April 28, 2016 at 1:11 pm
Hey my name is Beth. I cheated on my boyfriend at the beginning of our relationship around that time I had mentioned hanging out with guys to my friend but never really did. I send horrible pictures to an ex and he found out. We haven’t broken up but he’s always threatening I want you but I feel we should break up and it’s an every day thing. I was up untill 2 last night on FaceTime with him crying because he said he was done and I some how got him not to leave. But he said if I had said another word that he would leave me. I said “name” don’t leave but what is making you stay. And he said bye again and I yelled no. He still staid. I was just crying all night he talked to me to try and calm me down and he would just bring up good memories but it made me more upset thinking I wouldn’t have that anymore. I can’t speak of talk to or have any contact what so ever at school anything with any guy and I have to send pictures and videos while I’m at school of who is around me. If I take to long to reply at school he will accuse me of cheating. I haven’t hurt him since I cheated other than lying about the past but I didn’t want to lose him over what I had done in the past because it was who I am now. I need help what should I do. He said he’s don’t trying and that it had to be just me trying if I want this to work. Help me please. EMAIL bethsummar@icloud.com
Dani
April 27, 2016 at 2:55 am
Hi so this isn’t really about me cheating but.. Me and my ex broke up over a month ago and as soon as we broke up he started hanging out with this other girl. Anyways he stopped things with her and went back to me saying how much he missed me and then he told me he had feelings for her.. I was heart broken I thought we were completely over with I thought he was moving on so I tried to move on. I went and started hanging out with this guy and we kissed. Now I regret it more than anything. I wish it never would of happened. After about a week of me completely ignoring me ex he kept texting me like every day making some excuse to text me and he wanted to get back together when he found out about my kiss he was upset but still wanted to be with me. But now I’ve been begging for him back and I’ve been annoying him he told me he wants to be with me but he will NEVER trust me or believe me after what I did. What can I do to get him to forgive me id do anything for him to forgive me.
Dani
April 27, 2016 at 12:29 pm
How long should I not contact him? Until he contacts me again? When he contacted me wanting to get back together and found out we kissed he still wanted to be with me but I kept pushing him away by annoying him and he always said how I just piss him off.. And for two years whenever we fought he would always bring up how I hung out with this guy before we were even talking so I’m so scared that he won’t ever forgive me.. How can I get him to trust me?.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 4:41 am
I forgot to ask how long you’ve been together. You have to have a sincere talk about that if he ever brings that up again.. but if not, then don’t bring it up.. don’t do jealousy tactics during nc.. try 30 days.. and improve yourself… more likely when he sees you’ve matured, he will let that jealousy go.. initiate contact with him after 30 days.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 27, 2016 at 9:25 am
Hi Dani,
wow, you’re like doing cha cha with each other.. do nc for now. let him think and let’s hope he realizes that he was the first one to go on dates after the break up and that technically you’re not cheating.
schelby
April 12, 2016 at 3:49 am
i emailed you, but im not sure if i sent it to the right email address… im desperate if you could reply asap i would really appreciate it. thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2016 at 8:08 pm
Hi Schelby,
It’s support@exboyfriendrecovery.com If you sent it there, our team member, Leia, will get to you as soon as she can.
Summer
April 8, 2016 at 12:41 pm
i hurt my bf i cheated on him and he was the sweetest most loyal guy ever and i want him back but i hurt him and i dont know what to do he thinks im lying when i say i love him he wont give me a hug because he says hes not ready i hate myself for hurting him i would do anything to get him back but idk how
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 7:13 am
Hi Summer,
do you want to do the steps above?
Summer
April 8, 2016 at 12:37 pm
I lost the greatest guy ever and i loved him with everything but i cheated on him and i want him back but i dont know how i feel like crap that i hurt him and he wont give me a hug or anything because he said hes not ready i wish i wouldnt have messed up i love him very much but i think he thinks im lying and i just want him back i wish i would have never hurt him but idk what to do
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 7:13 am
Hi Summer,
do you want to do the steps above?
Mandy
March 29, 2016 at 6:12 pm
when my ex and i were dating we had a break bc hes bi and his interest for girls is on and off. he was attracted to guys for a week ish and that was our break. during the break i was rly sad bc i need him but he doesnt need me. i texted a guy that i met on tinder but never in person about my problems. the tinder guy started sexting me and i didnt stop him and just went with the flow. later my ex was attracted to girls again and we got back together. one day he looked through my phone without me knowing and saw i sexted another guy when we had a break. we broke up. but since we had classes together we manged to be friends. now we are good friends like we used to. one day i gave him his late bday present and he asked me for a hug. later that say he wore the gift that i gave him. and the day before spring break we hugged and he hugged me so tight like he used to. last night i texted him and he sent me a selfie. i told him i miss him and he misses me too. but when i asked if he still has feelings for me he said “i do not. ” i am so confused… does he actually lost feelings for me? i still like him and want him back so bad
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 6:21 am
Hi Mandy,
Maybe he thought you were just friends and he friendzoned you.
Alex
March 29, 2016 at 12:35 am
My boyfriend and I dated for 3 and a half years. We recently broke up a little over 2 weeks ago, due to major fights and the long distance that started a couple months earlier obviously took a toll on us. The breakup was mutual but I was so sad I started begging, calling and texting a lot. The next weekend (still broken up) we went and drove around to talk, and ended up hooking up. I saw he was texting other girls and it hurt me a lot, so I continued to call and text a lot. Just this last week, one of his friends started talking to me and we shared some inappropriate pictures back and forth. My ex found out and was very hurt. He said some very hurtful things (I regret ever dating you, best decision of my life to break up, I hate you, etc). I apologized many time and he recently has said he won’t hate me forever but that he’s not ready to see me. I know what I did was wrong, but he has blocked me on his phone and made it clear that he doesn’t want to talk. I don’t know what to do or if he’ll ever forgive me and want to talk again. I am so upset over this and have cut off all contact with his friend. I need some advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 5:17 am
Hi Alex,
He’s not clearly faultless though.. He’s the one who started talking to other girls. Do no contact, and rebuild your self esteem. Stop chasing and build a new life first before trying to reconnect.
Kaylee Hughes
March 28, 2016 at 2:05 am
Hey, my name is Kaylee. Well i cheated on my boyfriend, it’s going to sound stupid but.. i only did it because people were telling me he would cheat on me. I never meant to hurt him.. i love him. I might not ever stop. I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex Tyler.. me and Tyler were on an Off-On type of relationship before Ted came along. Before me and Ted have gotten involved me and Tyler were dating, Tyler loved me.. a lot. I was starting to loose feelings for him though because he lived a ways away, about an hour and a half and i could barely see him/ talk to him. It hurt me badly. Sooo.. i cheated on Tyler with Ted… it wasn’t really a get-together-have sex-kinda thing, it was like supposed to be a friendly get-together with him, sneak out type of thing. We hung outside, late at night, sneaking around was what we did tbh, well.. he hugged me because it was FREEZING outside, we talked for a while and then we made out, for a LONG time. I felt bad so 2 days later i broke up with Tyler. We didn’t talk for a while. Then Ted asked me out, and i said yes, i was so happy because i actually got to see Teddy a lot, at school and he lived near me, it felt like a better situation. Me and Ted stayed together. And me and Tyler started texting again, as nothing more than friends but Teddy didn’t like it, he asked me not to talk to Tyler, i listened to him for a while.. but then he got himself home-schooled and i didn’t get to see him at school. Then later he moved and the time changed, 3 hours back, where he was. So he didn’t reply to my messages as fast, when i woke up he was still in bed, because it was early in the A.M. And when i was getting ready for bed, it was 6 or so there, so he texted. He said he thought he’d be coming back in a month or 2 but he wasn’t positive. Then Tyler started calling me baby “for no apparent reason” well actually he said that he didn’t mean to but he had gotten used to it before. Me and Tyler seemed to talk more than me and Teddy and i guess that took my mind off of Teddy and i did a bad thing and cheated on Teddy with Tyler.. i felt bad but at the same time, each of them were filling my needs. Tyler didn’t know what was happening though. So i guess in the end i hurt both of them, sorta. Teddy broke up with me and Tyler stayed with me but i broke up with Tyler the other day because i really want Teddy back… i’m not sure how to do that though, give me some tips please :(.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 4:14 am
Hi Kaylee,
It would take time but I think it’s better if you take time off from both of them and focus on yourself. It looks like you’ve got low self esteem. Work on yourself first so, you won’t end up needing that from others.
Goldenarm
March 25, 2016 at 12:11 pm
I cheated on my bf and he wants me to move out. I have lived with my friends over a month now. I have no place to put my things in his apartment (a lot of furniture for example) as I have little money and he knows my miserable situation. How will I use the NC rule if he contacts me about my things?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2016 at 1:23 pm
Hi Golden Arm,
Actually the more important thing is to find a place for your things because no contact will not assure that he will get back with you, especially after a cheating incident. And then you have to sincerely apologize.. It will really take a long time because you will have to rebuild trust long after no contact and even when, if, you get back together. Do those things first before implementing no contact.. If he still contacts you for some other things during no contact, it’s okay just as long as you don’t talk about feelings or relatioships
Anne
March 20, 2016 at 10:45 pm
I cheated on my bf 2 yrs into the relationship, we decided to stay together after it and never fully dealt with it just covered over it. 4 yrs later he ended it saying he can’t deal with it. I started the NC and he text me the 1st day of NC but I ignored it. We share a dog so when he collected the dog on 3rd day of NC, he got out of car normally doesnt he was nice and apologized for stuff he did wrong in our relationship, he touched my face a few times and that he was thinking of me other day and was sad I didn’t text back, I explained I need space which he said he understood. He also mentioned that he is going out next wknd. Just wondering if these are signs he still has feelings for me and if I stick to NC will I have a chance of getting him back.
Anne
March 21, 2016 at 3:19 pm
Thank you, he hasn’t said he wants to work it out, it’s just his actions I am confused by. I feel he wants to give it another go but is afraid to admit it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 21, 2016 at 8:49 am
Hi Anne,
yes it is..if he says he truly wants to talk to work it out, it’s ok to break nc
Marc
March 17, 2016 at 8:46 pm
Me and my boyfriend were dating for almost three years (our anniversary is March 23rd, next week) and last december he discovered by himself that I cheated on him. I didnt actually physically cheated on him, I just kept a conversation (sexually, most of the times) with another guy via snapchat (and I dont know why or how the app saved the conversations). I COMPLETELLY regret it and I told him that millions of times. We tryed to talk about it but it didnt worked. So after a few weeks we talked again and he said it wouldnt work (again). Then after a month with no contact at all, I asked him out, he accepted, and said we could try again by going slowly. He wasnt the same, but I knew it would be like that at first. When we first started dating he was always really happy and proud about our friends support. And after we broke up, all of them took his side and made me a “monster”, telling him not to be with me, that I’m not worth the stress. So after a specific night that I complained about him not being the same and not giving me love, he said that he was still really confused, that maybe we were trying too soon, that he’s not ready and didnt know when he would be, but he was certain that it would take a lot of time, and (the worst) that maybe we were meant to be friends. He said he still loves me and cares about me but he just can’t be with me. I dont know if he just wants time, or if it’ll never work, and I dont know what to do. Its been a week since we last spoke.
Marc
March 21, 2016 at 11:41 am
Yes, I know, but theres something about we cant just be friends, we try, but end up doing things just like we used to, as boyfriends. Like this weekend, we spent it together the whole time, and that happened because I gave him a cold shoulder on the last friday when we met at college. So I know that he freaks out with fear of losing me and runs back to me, but then, after we spend some time together, he starts to drift away…
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 21, 2016 at 12:18 pm
if he fears losing you that’s good..talk to him in the right time, be honest but calm with him about it and then tell him what you’re willing to do for the relationship
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 7:24 am
Hi Marc,
He doesn’t trust you yet.. That’s what needs to be built.. and attraction too. It takes time and effort from you to do that. That means you need to start out as friends yet and spend time together that can prove to him you won’t do that again
Emily
March 13, 2016 at 12:35 pm
So me and my boyfriend were dating for 5 months and then I cheated on him. I comepltleyly regret it and I told him that millions of times. We broke up after I told him what I had done and he took me back a week later to try and work things out. We were together for a month after that but his friends kept telling him to break up with me that I’m not worth the stress. So he did break up with me and told me he couldn’t get the thought of me and this guy out of his head. He said he still loves me and cares about me but he just can’t be with me. I don’t know if this means he’s done for good or if he wants time.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2016 at 6:11 am
Hi Emily,
it would really take time and a lot of effort on your part..so you have to be ready for a lot of patience to use… are you going to do the steps above?
justice
March 8, 2016 at 10:25 pm
I met my boyfriend in the fall semester of 2014, we were just class partners. We were not friends because he thought that I looked mean. He got a girlfriend that same semester and later broke up with her in January of 2015. He was really unhappy with and she was cheating on him with a boy that he knew. He got my number in April of 2015, and we began our friendship with no intentions of a relationship. However, in May 2015 we became extremely close friends, like best friends. We talked throughout the entire summer, almost every day until he had to leave for ROTC camp that was about a month. We probably talk once or twice a week during this month he was at camp. Our like for one another got stronger! We got back to school for the next semester and continued our close friendship. He continuously wanted to get in a relationship but I kept telling him no because we both got out of relationships at the same time and he had trust issues. He finally got past them and we got together in November of 2015. We never had a problem that would affect our relationship just things here and there. He recently began to get really busy in school and I went from spending time with him damn near every day to every other week. When I did spend time with him he just seemed agitated. I confronted him on it and he said that he was okay. The week before Valentine’s day he told me that he wanted to take a break and I respected his wishes. I asked him what kind of break it was and he said that if someone was to ask me if I had a boyfriend I would say yes. I had a problem with the break because he said that it has nothing to do with me he just needed time to figure himself out. I took it personal because he hung out with his friends all the time and never really communicated with me. For four weeks we had minimum contact and I did not hear him say I love you for those four weeks. Last Wednesday we watched a movie together and he told me that he loved me and that he was sorry for us not spending time together he is just so busy. Bottom line is that he never took time out of his day to see me but on his social media he would always be with his boys and I would see girls on his snaps. On Saturday I went out and got drunk and smoked a little. Next thing I know is that I am making out with a boy that was a friend. To tell the truth I was just feeling neglected and wanted to feel wanted. The next day I came back to school and told my boyfriend everything and he ended our relationship. The next day we talked some more and he basically told me that he was done with me and that he could never trust me again. I asked him if we could work on it and he said that he cannot honestly say that we will get back together. He said that we were now acquaintances and that he wanted me to hurt. He apologized for neglecting me but could not get past me being with another guy. He said that he does not just believed that we made out and that we did more. We didn’t. I really looked a mess as he could tell that I was crying all night and he said that it hurts him to look at me because of the way I look but he is hurt. I know that he loves me as much as I love him but I don’t think that I will ever earn his trust back. I cannot contact even though every bone in my body does and I haven’t contacted him since our last conversation. I walked into my dorm room today and he was coming out with my roommate. He talked to her to make sure that my story checked out, but he didn’t say anything to me. He said that he would be a fool to get back with me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 6:26 pm
Hi Justice
Truth will go out..so, don’t act guilty because you know you said the truth..forgive yourself.. let him be angry and all..he has been unfair by just leaving you hanging.. so, for now, focus on being silent.. less talk, less mistakes..