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649 thoughts on “This Is How You Should Contact Your Ex Boyfriend”

  1. Dianne

    October 4, 2016 at 8:22 am

    Hello, I need some advice.
    My boyfriend (now ex – find it weird to call him that) were together for almost a year when he suddenly broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We never really argue but we did have a bit of an upsetting moment the last time we were together in person. He thought deeply about our relationship for 2 days and then texted he needed to talk to me. Originally he was going to break up with me through text, but I asked to call him. So we broke up over the phone. His reasons were that he didn’t see a future for us, and didn’t want to drag it on or else it’ll hurt more to break up in the future. He also said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore and wants to focus back onto himself. While I begged for him to take me back (he insisted breaking up was the only way), I asked to see him one more time in person that weekend. He completely rejected the notion and said it wouldn’t do us any good.

    It has been a little over a week since I contacted him, but almost everyday for the past two weeks I’ve been thinking about asking him to come out one last time. I think I have now accepted that this relationship is over for the time being, but I have many things running through my mind that I keep repeating to myself as if I was talking to him.
    I want to see him one last time as (ex) lovers and say an official goodbye in person, because I’m unsure if I will ever be able to see him as a friend (I cannot bear to think/hear about him dating someone else after me). I want to hear the exact reasons why he didn’t see a future, explain to him how come I saw a future for us and tell him the unsaid words I have left for him. We come from different religions (i am not religious) and different cultural backgrounds, but in my mind I felt like we could’ve worked if we both tried. I also want to know if he thinks we can reconvene again in the future, possibly as lovers or simply as friends. I want him to know that I still care about him as a person and I don’t want to hate him or see him as an enemy.

    I’m not sure if I should still meet with him to say these things. I think it will help me get some ‘closure’ and allow me to move past the ‘what ifs’ and thinking up these conversation in my head. I also know it might reopen the wound I’m in the process of healing. Some friends tell me its a horrible idea, others say it’ll hurt but it’ll help. I’m not sure which to follow.. I am also not sure (if I do contact him to come out) if I should do this 3.5 weeks after the break up call (when I’m free, he may be busy) or 7.5 weeks after the break up call (when he and I should be both free).

    I apologize for the long story, but I am in such turmoil I don’t know what to do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 6, 2016 at 1:32 pm

      Hi Dianne,

      how will it help you if you meet him? If it is for moving on, then go ahead

  2. Airina

    September 24, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    Hello.Me and my ex broke up around 3 months ago.Today is my 21 day of NCR.ladies trust me whatever they wrote in this site is worth it.My boyfriend reaction during the NCR was the mid-caller reaction.And it was mindblowing how accurate what Chris said about he will contact me at the middle of NCR which was on the 5th day and 16th day.I was sceptical at the beginning to do Ncr coz i afraid that he will think less about me but it didnt happen!I’m still in my NCR which is 9 days more.Give it a try.We are lucky that theres a guy like Chris that are willing to give all the insight about men minds on break up!Wish me luck!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 25, 2016 at 7:45 am

      Thanks Airina! Good Luck!

  3. grace

    September 23, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Me and my boyfriend were together for about a year and promised each other the world to each other. Our connection was so strong and nothing stopped us from separating for a while especially since our families come from different cultures and religions. As time went by, we started having problems because of the family issue and he came to terms that it is risky to continue the relationship when we are unsure of the future. I have been doing no contact and it has been two weeks. He still had me on social media and everything. I even posted a few pictures of myself and sporting activities which I know he could see. Once I posted something about a concert that was near his place, he saw it and decided to unfollow me. He still has me on facebook, but I have no idea if that’ll last. He hasn’t reached out once to me since I started no contact. I don’t know what I should do.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 24, 2016 at 4:06 pm

      HI Grace,

      keep improving yourself. Do it for yourself to heal and to be more rational before initiating contact after 30 days of nc.

  4. Emma-louise Wills

    September 18, 2016 at 11:20 pm

    I was with my Ex boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I genuinely love him so much he was my first proper relationship and the first person I’ve ever actually truly been in love with, our relationship was amazing we were like best friends and did everything together, so back in march I did something really stupid that basically caused our split I didn’t cheat btw we were play fighting and I accidentally hit him and he said he couldn’t get over it saying I hurt him emotionally and scared him for life. We split up in the April and it was hard at first we barley spoke but after a while we started talking a lot more and we used to meet up every now and then for a few drinks and a chat and each one ended the same way with him telling me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship I learned to except that, so in July we were really close and I suggested that we start seeing each other exclusively between us and he agreed we went out a lot going for walks and a few drinks every week we would do something I made the stupid mistake of sleeping with him. I was genuinely happy thinking I was getting somewhere we would flirt have chemistry and even have a good bye kiss at the end of the night… so that broke down he told me he kissed someone else after a night out and he was drunk and doesn’t remember. We met up and talked it over and he told me again that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship and that he didn’t love me anymore I was heartbroken but none the less we kept taking. A few days ago I went on a date with someone else and realised that it didn’t feel right I was still in love with my ex and would do anything to make us work. We met up on Tuesday and I told him everything and he came back and told me that he’s seeing someone else and he’s not sure if it’s gonna go anywhere.. safe to say I was heartbroken again. So I didn’t speak to him for a few days then Saturday night I got a text message from him telling me that he’s gonna give it a go with this girl and see where it goes and told me that he thinks it’s best if me and him don’t talk for a while because his new relationship is still fresh and we both need time to sort our heads out…
    I don’t know what to do now.. is no contact for 30 days a good idea right now? I love him so much I can’t just let him walk out of my life after everything we have gone through.. please help!

    1. Emma-louise Wills

      September 20, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      I haven’t spoken to him since Sunday morning, he text me saying it’s best if we stop talking for a bit while it’s still fresh with this new girl, so I haven’t text him. He’s deleted me off everything but Instagram and whatsapp and he’s already told this girl he loves her after a week.. I just don’t know what to do he was telling me he can’t lose me out of his life and he still loves me but he’s telling this other girl that he loves her. What do I do I’m so confused.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 22, 2016 at 6:46 pm

      For me, you should really do no contact

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 20, 2016 at 7:42 pm

      HI Emma,

      yeah but if you keep talking to him wouldn’t he think you’re trying to get him back when he said he already didn’t want that?

  5. AnonK

    September 17, 2016 at 4:10 am

    My ex and I broke up a little over a month ago. We were together for 3 years and he treated me wonderfully. We did a lot of traveling together and we have fantastic memories. The problem is, he has always been weird about commitment. It took him 4 months to acknowledge we were a couple (even though I had met his parents and all his friends… we were exclusive). It took him nearly 2 years to say that he loved me… Although I was the first girl he had said it to. In fact, he would compliment me constantly and even told my best friend that I am the best he will ever have. We would talk about the future sometimes, but then he would get pessimistic and say that he thinks he needs to work on himself and that this is his time to be selfish in life. He’s 25. The big problem is, is that he travels a lot for work and the time apart was starting to get to me and our relationship. He asked me if he was making the biggest mistake of his life when we broke up. He cried, and said maybe in the future… I went immediately into NC. So we haven’t talked in a month and one week. He hasn’t tried to contact me at all. Although last week he went to a concert and sent me snapchat of our old song being played. I didn’t answer it. Should I even try to contact him? He hasn’t reached out to me at all except for that one time. Why hasn’t he bothered to reach out??

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 19, 2016 at 10:56 am

      Hi AnonK,

      I think you should initiate contact, so that you build rapport.. maybe he was respecting your space but the text he sent was an indication that he wants reconnect,.so reconnect

  6. Jeanette

    September 16, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    I need some advice please. This guy left me 4 his abusive ex. 2nd time they broke up this year. She tried to kill him and peppered spray him. Charges were filed. They were apart 3 months. He told me 2 leave him alone and blocked me on everything. This was less than a month they were together this time. They broke up. He put he was single on his fb profile and unblocked me on everything. He hasn’t said anything. I went ahead and sent him a friends request on Facebook. I also think he unblocked my number. I called him and told him on voicemail finally how I felt about him and that I would care for his son too since he is a part of him. I told him he didn’t have to do this alone. He’s a single dad now. I told him if I didn’t hear from him that I had my answer and I will always be there for him as a friend and that no matter what happens I wish him the best. That was the day before yesterday. He hasn’t said anything. He hasn’t accepted or declined my friends request either. That is the last and only thing I’m sending him.
    Why would he unblock me but not say anything? Do you have any insight on my situation? Thanks.

    1. Jeanette E Huston

      November 2, 2016 at 5:57 pm

      I contacted my ex after he broke up with his girlfriend and unblocked me on everything who I was friends for 2 years prior to our thing. He never replied back. So I waited two months and he and his gf tried to work things out again but now she is dating other people. So I contacted him again and told him I always valued our friendship and would like to put everything behind us. That I thought he was a cool person and miss talking to him. I told him if he didn t want anything to do with me or anything then just deny my friends request and I will respect it. I told him I has class and would not go crazy or be mean but that I would just rather know if he just didn t want anything at all. I also told him no matter what that he was a good person, dad, and friend and would always want the best for him. We he hasn t said anything and hasn t accepted or denied my friends request. Why doesn t he just deny it. I was nice polite and our split wasn t really huge or anything. Thanks for the input.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 3, 2016 at 5:41 pm

      Oh no.. that’s chasing.. Actually it’s even good that he didn’t reply.. although it’s making you hope but right now, it’s so obvious that you’re trying to make your way in. He’s probably still thinking about what to do or what just happened between him and the other girl. But for me, if you really want a chance, stop chasing. Stop trying to be friend for now, because you’ll either be friendzoned or he’ll use you as friends with benefits.

    3. Emma-louise Wills

      September 20, 2016 at 10:05 pm

      I’m not talking to him I haven’t spoke since Sunday morning, he told me he loves me but he wants to work on his new relationship with his new girlfriend, he’s been with her a week and he’s already told her he loves her? He told me last Tuesday he still loves me and then tells a girl he barely knows that he loves her? I don’t know what to do anymore.

    4. Jeanette

      September 19, 2016 at 8:36 pm

      What happened was we were kind of seeing each other during that 3 months. Then we had a disagreement. I came back a week later to talk to him then he acted angry and told me he was back with his ex. He blocked me on everything right away. I thought he was just mad and not really back with her because he acted like he wanted nothing to do with her when talking to me. So I called and texted apologizing. Which was stupid. I admit it. Then I found out they were really back together and stopped. Went no contact. In less than a month they were broke up and he unblocked me from everything. So I left that last voicemail a week ago I mentioned in my fist post. I sent a friend request. It was been sitting in pending. I don’t understand why unblock me on everything, keep my request pending, and not say anything or respond? I would rather him just reject my friend request then keep it pending. At least that is straight forward.

      I haven’t contacted him since and I’m not going to. Any thoughts?

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 21, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      I think it shows that he’s not angry but he doesnt want you to expect that he’s going to get back with you..and I think you should do 45 days

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 19, 2016 at 6:14 am

      Hi Jeanette,

      How long were you together? and did you mean, while you were together, he also tried to get back with her? Or he broke up with you first and then you chased him while he is chasing his ex?

  7. Zoe

    September 15, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    I am ending my no contact period in two weeks. I am going to do my first contact via text. What should I text first? I’m a bit confused. Should I make it like the magic letter saying that I am ok with the breakup and mention something optimistic that I did during no contact period or should I just mention interesting things that made me remind of our happy times to him?

    1. Zoe

      September 18, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      I think that maybe if I mention sth like I am okay with the breakup will make him put his guard down a little maybe? since he unfollowed me on all social media( i don’t know the reason), and he was the one who said he wanted to break up.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 20, 2016 at 4:02 pm

      it can help putting his guard down.. Just be careful on how you deliver it..that you don’t sound like you’re just trying to make him believe it

    3. Zoe

      September 18, 2016 at 4:54 pm

      Okay. So in the first text I should first mention a topic he likes. Got it! But should I also mention that I am ok with the breakup and am already moving on doing sth positive in my life as well? It’s probably bad question but what is the difference between the magic letter and the first text, since they are both the first contact with my ex after the NC period? Thanks!

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 18, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      HI Zoe,

      try a topic that he always loves talking about..

  8. Brenda

    September 15, 2016 at 5:30 am

    How can i tell my ex boyfriend that i still love him without being scared to tell him throgh later or text message help me please post comment 2016

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 17, 2016 at 2:39 pm

      Hi Brenda,

      When and why did you break up?

  9. Amy

    September 9, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    Hi Amor,
    My boyfriend broke up with me 6 weeks ago after dating for 11 months, he said the reason was “it’s easier to do it now then later” and “he doesn’t love me anymore”.
    There were a couple of factors that contributed to the break up. 1) we had just reunited after spending 3 months apart (I was overseas). 2) I felt we weren’t moving forward as he refused to talk about the future at all. 3) he started acting flakey, not turning up when he said he would and texting me until HOURS later.
    The last time I saw him I wanted to discuss the situation; he told me he loved me and everything would be okay, but he was too tired and wanted to stop talking about it. But he hadn’t give me anything and it turned into a fight. And then he broke up with me.
    I was so upset, I 100% felt responsible for pushing him too hard. I text him and he replied just saying sorry constantly. He was on dating sites 7 days later; and I text him getting very upset. I felt so stupid and deleted him off social media. We didn’t talk for a week and he casually asked how I was. I begged for him to take me back and when he said no, I told him to leave me alone and block me.
    We have not had contact since. It has now been 3.5 weeks. I don’t have any intention of messaging him yet because I assume I would still be blocked. Do you think this is reversible?
    I have spent the past 3 weeks taking up new hobbies, exercising, working on my self esteem and trying to be a better (less needy) person.
    Our break up isn’t the end of the world. But I love him a lot and I would really like to make it right. We had an amazing connection the first time we met, I never had doubts, no seconding guessing until I returned home. I know I should have been understanding – I feel I jumped the gun on the commitment thing. But I don’t know how to tell him that. Please help me 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 10, 2016 at 11:41 am

      Hi Amy,
      tell it through your actions. Live life as if you’ve moved on and maintain the routine you started now once you talk to him again. He has to see that you have your own life so that he wouldn’t think you’re going to rush him again.

  10. Rev

    September 7, 2016 at 8:49 am

    Hi Amor, Thanks for ut comments.I think i should better forget him,he would hv played with me. My frnds also suggested me d same but i thought to consult here also

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 8, 2016 at 8:30 am

      Yeah, I agree. Moving on is the better choice.

  11. Rev

    September 1, 2016 at 6:11 am

    Well,me and my bf were in relationship frm apr2015.but problem strtd when he moved to other state telling official purpose..for first month he dint respond to my msg and call properly.so when he came to shift his belongings frm my state,i told him dat i dint like his behavior.so once he again moved i intentionally dint reply to one of his normal msg(just to check if he ask me to reply or not).but he dint ask.then finally i contacted him in may 2016..i started with hi,hello..but then i expressed my feelings dat i missed him and luv him..he asked me y i dint contact for these 6 month,wt i was dng these days..then he said its long time..so many things got channged in these 6months and now he s not interested in me.he said v can b friends but he s not interested.i just replied him politely and told no problem,but i cant b just a frnd…he said he s not a gud guy and i will find someone gud..i replied to him saying sure,m a gud person and i will definitely get a gud guy..after dat i just told him d things which i liked in our relationship,to which he dint reply..after few days to this i sent him a msg,to which he dint reply.i felt bad and blocked him on watsapp,deleted him frm fb..then again from june till this August no contact.but yesterday again i msged him on watsapp,but he dint reply anything..pls suggest et should i do?

    1. Rev

      September 2, 2016 at 6:48 am

      Pls let me know if u still hv any query, bcas it will b gud to make my story clear and since story s somewhat big so m afraid dat if i able to make my story clear or not.
      “In short” from December2015, 2 times v had “no contact” ..one was frm dec-may and next from july-august..and during 2nd no contact i even unfriended him on fb and blocked him on watsapp. But at present i hv unblocked him on watsapp and sent him 2msgs also,to which he dint reply.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 2, 2016 at 4:08 pm

      For now, it’s pretty clear.. I have to be honest, it’s less likely that you would get him back that way.. First you ghosted him.. and then even if you texted him about other things before asking him if he’s still interested in you, there wasn’t enough rapport and attraction built. It was too soon.
      You’re chasing him now, and he knows it.

      I think you need to take it slow.. Right now, if you keep messaging him, I think it would be worse. I think you need to restart nc but it’s not going to be a normal nc. You have to do it longer, because you’ve tried to be silent since june and he still didn’t reply.. This time, maybe another 3 or 6 months and then just really be active in trying to move on. Have your own life, your own routine, meet new people and make new friends. He has to think that you’ve moved on so that later on he would be willing to start as friends again..

      And then when you message him, take it slow. Build rapport first through texts,and then calls and then meet ups.. Don’t chase.

    3. Rev

      September 2, 2016 at 4:03 am

      Amor, it wasnt the first msg to ask him to come back. After 5 and half months, i just started msg by saying hi, how r u etc. And asked d same thing for 1more day ..so in one week, i msged him 2 times asking abt his and his family..and then 3rd time I said dat i luv him and if he s interested in me…..

    4. Rev

      September 2, 2016 at 3:58 am

      Hi Amor, U understood correctly.. we dint talk abt breakup, v stopped msgng and callng..and finally after 5 and half months arnd i msged him askng if he s still interested in me..to which he replied dat he s not interested and I will get someone better than him..

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 1, 2016 at 2:21 pm

      Hi Rev,

      so there was no break up? You ghosted him 6 months ago and then went straight to asking him to come back on the first message after 6 months? Was your latest message like that also?

  12. Sophie

    August 26, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    So I broke up with my boyfriend of two years a few weeks ago I have been applying the no contact rule and its extremely tough. We were conversing about marriage and he ended things by saying ‘something is missing ‘.A few friends have said maybe he left me because he has gone back to his ex whom he was with for around a decade but hasnt been in contact with her during our relationship. Shall I wait around for him or is he still not over his ex?

    1. Jane

      September 17, 2016 at 8:57 am

      Not worth it. While you’re waiting on him, he’s moving on with his life, pushed you off to the side, and has made new priorities in his life. Do you really want to waste your time and energy on someone who does not even care about you the same way you care about him?

  13. Hope

    July 19, 2016 at 8:40 am

    I’m in a long distance relationship, the break up was pretty bad with me crying and begging, then we’ve started to talk again like friends, but he said that he just didn’t feel the same anymore. After letting him down for so long I’ve felt that it’s a good thing that I’ve at least managed to reestablish some positive contact so that he can have better memories of me before I do NC. I’ve started NC a week ago and it’s by far the hardest thing I’ve done in my life so far. He texted me a couple times, but then posted something on facebook that indicated moving on. I do think I just need to wait and reset things to how they were before, but the problem is that he’s always had abandonment issues and I don’t want to reassure him, that I’m not trustworthy and that he can’t depend on me. Should I keep NC? Please help

    1. Jane

      September 17, 2016 at 9:03 am

      Do not wait on him. When someone leaves, they usually want to leave because they dont like the relationship anymore. You should focus on yourself, find your own happiness, and learn to live a life without him. Since he left, he has to be the one to make the effort to take you back. You can do all these advices of trying to win yor ex back, it may work, but know that it might not work as well…..leaving you feeling abandon all over again. Take it from my experience.

    2. Hope

      July 19, 2016 at 1:14 pm

      Also he’s asked me if I’ll be ignoring him forever, should I even reply to him and say that I just need time for myself?

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 21, 2016 at 8:08 am

      Hi Hope,

      he’s going to be confused because you didn’t do nc right away..I think it’s better if you talk to him first and tell him you need time for yourself and once you’re ready, you’ll reach out again.. just don’t tell for how long you will do nc

  14. Marie

    July 16, 2016 at 12:47 am

    Yes, he wants to be friends with benefits and now I am doing nc. Do you think I have chance to be with him ? Because he said “never getting back together ‘
    ” but he also said “I am afraid of you become a mature woman and I meet you one day, I must be falling in love with you again “

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 16, 2016 at 5:07 pm

      I think you have a chance.. he mostly like just said never because of what he felt at that time

  15. Princess

    July 15, 2016 at 5:23 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. I’ve done no contact since. He broke up with me because he said he was not as happy as me in the relationship and didnt want to be in a relationship or be responsible for another persons feelings. We’ve broken up once before about 9 months ago for pretty much the same reason but after 1.5 months wanted me back. Our feelings for each other have remained the same, no one was angry with the other and we both still liked and cared about each other the same. We became temporary long distance for two months which was hard on the relationship and he has two more months until he is back home. He told me he will text me when he is back home and thinks we should go no contact to make it easier for the both of us. He is the type of guy who does not know what hes feeling but just feels he needs to act upon it. Do you think he will want me back and how do I forgive him for breaking my trust twice? Will this become a cycle and does no contact still apply while long distance and when we both already agreed to no contact? Maybe he is scared he will feel to emotionally invested in the relationship because I told him I love him and he said he didnt feel the same way yet.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 15, 2016 at 7:11 pm

      HI Princess,

      I think you should click and read this first: The complete guide to getting an ex boyfriend back in a long distance relationship

  16. EBR Team Member: Amor

    July 15, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    Hi Marie,

    basically he either wants to friendzoned you or be friends with benefits with you… that’s good, you should do active nc

  17. Kiki

    July 9, 2016 at 4:13 am

    I did the no contact rule. About a week before my completion on my no contact rule. My ex actually liked a photo of us from my old post in social media, also liked a link that I shared getting my attention. Upon completion of my no contact rule 30days, I posted a photo that got his attention and he actually direct message me. I didn’t reply to his question as I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. It’s been a month from the day he texted me. Ever since he texted me, without me replying to him. He has yet to make any other move for e.g. Liking my photos or texting me. I’ve been missing him lately, desperately wanting to reply to the message he sent me a month ago, but somehow felt it’s kinda rude to reply this late. What should I do? I really miss him and want him to know about this.

    1. Kiki

      July 10, 2016 at 11:23 pm

      Dear Amor,

      I’m not sure if he asked my friend to check on me, that’s probably me just overthinking about it. Could be just casually asking me why did me and my ex broke up. It’s a relief to have you nodding for me to wait for my bday, I was worried that might just be too long to wait. One more thing that I need your advice with, I’ve been checking out his social sites often lately and liking his post. Should I stop doing this? I’m not sure if this is a good thing, because I remember the last time he liked my post it actually made me feel good about it knowing that he’s still checking out on me. Just worry if I constantly like his post, it might just boost his ego and feel like he’s winning.. This is so hard when I have zero idea on how he is doing right now. I’m sorry that I have endless question for you Amor, I don’t have anyone to talk to and I’m glad you could help me.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 12, 2016 at 8:18 am

      it’s alright to ask! well, it’s better to stop liking his post

    3. Kiki

      July 10, 2016 at 9:09 am

      Dear Amor,

      Additional to my replied msg to you. Recently, I was asked by a mutual friend of ours on our breakup. I feel strange that my friend just contacted me randomly and ask me about my relationship, wondering why won’t you ask him about this instead? Also, we kept our breakup pretty much to ourselves, instead of switching our relationship status to single we chose to just blank it out plus we still remain all of our photos together on social media. I might be overthinking about this, wondering what lead my friend to question me about my love life. I really wanna know how is he doing right now, I mean honestly speaking just wanna know if he still talks about me to see if there’s any chance of us getting back together. My question is, should I ask around his friend on how he is doing? or is there any other better ways for me to do this?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 10, 2016 at 8:48 pm

      if he asked your friend, then you asked that friend about him, it will reach him.. it’s ok to wait until you’re bday but if he doesn’t greet you, it’s ok to initiate a text message..

    5. Kiki

      July 10, 2016 at 8:59 am

      Dear Amor,

      Thank you so much for replying to my problem. He didn’t delete any of our photos in his social media page, same does me. I was thinking if I should just wait till my birthday to see if he wishes me (that will be end of next month) and I’ll start a conversation. I was afraid to reply to his message, worrying it will end up badly. As days goes by I just leave it without replying to him. Every time when I was bout to reply to his msg, all those hurtful memories will hit me badly and it just hold me back completely. We are both each other’s first love, and its really tough for me to go through this..

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      Hi Kiki,

      why didn’t you reply back when you’re nc was done that day? anyways..just initiate a different topic..

  18. Liz

    June 28, 2016 at 9:40 am

    So i did no contact, only I then did something stupid and went from 0-60, i sent him a few texts which he only responded a few times and then got panicked and impatient and arranged for us to meet up a week later as i needed to give him his stuff back and told him i was moving on. Whilst i was with him he looked really sad and wouldnt look at me unless he thought i wasnt looking, i asked him if he wanted to take me home and he said no and at the end of it i felt like he still liked me… only i panicked and instead of leaving him with a good feeling I tried the back handed compliment, only what i really did was insulted how he looked! i also got worked up before seeing him and he saw me almost cry a few times, i tried to stay positive but i looked a mess and he was worried i hadn’t been eating. I saw him from a distance a few days later and i think hes taken it to heart what i had said as hes now shaved off his beard. Ive messaged him a few times since and hes not replied once but has seen the messaged, hes also not checking my snapchat stories anymore.

    he broke up with me because of a few little reasons and i think he was feeling lost in himself, hes still talking about running away to a different country to “find himself” and i told him that i didnt think it worked that was and he needs to work on himself everyday rather then continuously running away (this is not the first time hes run away when things have got hard but it is the first time hes left me, im someone who likes to just talk things out where as he hates even the idea of talking.

    have i completely messed this up? what can I do?

    1. Liz

      June 29, 2016 at 9:45 pm

      how long for?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 1, 2016 at 11:07 am

      I think 21 days is enough..

    3. Liz

      June 28, 2016 at 9:52 am

      I also bought up the past relationship as i had unanswered questions and so did he, he seems angry around me even though he says ive done nothing wrong, or frustrated or something. He said he wasnt ready to meet with me but hes glad he had because it has cleared things up (like me not throwing him away) He’d got his beard done before meeting me so he looked nice for me and all i did was insult him about it, i feel so horrible about it and when i saw he had shaved it off i messaged him and said he looked good either way but he hasnt replied

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      Hi Liz…

      you have to restart nc

    5. Liz

      June 28, 2016 at 9:42 am

      I think all ive done is reassured him that im not ok without him and i havent just thrown him away, even though he was the one to leave me, he told me he was upset because he thought i had just got rid of him

  19. RR

    June 26, 2016 at 10:17 am

    Me and my ex broke up official 4 days ago… he said he e isnt ready to be in a relationship, and that he feels thats its not his time for something like that. I miss him a lot but i need to leave space in order for him to miss me or something like that… I love him so much and I want to get him back. Right now I feel like NC is the best way to do it. Its not like he doesnt care when I was at his place and said that it has to be over cuz i cannot wait for him to feel ready. When I was getting out of the falt he didnt wanted to let me go by closing the door. I started telling him about all the beautiful things together… before that he said he needs space cuz i kinda was to clingy … no one cheated or something like that.. he just said that he isnt ready right now for the moment for a relationship which doesn’t mean that he isnt going to be ready for one in the future… he said I hope ill call you.

  20. sara

    June 26, 2016 at 3:40 am

    hey chris! my boyfriend a I broke up 2 months ago, and we stayed friends after the break up, when i did all the effort to stay close to him but he didnt seem to care, he kinda wanted my attention and to see my reactions about his acts. i was his first girlfriend we were so close and comfortable with each other, we have too many things in common and we cared about each other, but we used to argue a lot and i was the one who always used to start but then i realised that i was wrong, i said sorry and fixed myself but he didnt put any effort for this and always blamed me and said that i didnt change. after a while i gave him space and we were supposed to go together to prom even after we broke up, but few hours before prom he texted me saying that he isnt going with me anymore and asked another girl who just met her to go with her to prom, and she is really desperate cause she never had a boyfriend before, so she is trying her best now to make me feel bad whenever i see them together in the hallways, i rejected all my dates just waiting for him to come ,he is going to university now and i cant see him anymore, i havent talked to him since prom, a month ago, i even cut all my connections with our mutual friends and he blocked me on social media, he even keeps posting pictures of his new gf and like he looks proud pf her, even though i was really good for him, i begged him and tried my hardest and i was tired and looked pale because of him, but now i moved on, is best friend was my sister’s ex and he calls me and asks about me but i dont tell him much cause i know he tells him everything , but now i know nothing about my ex. but i still want him back and want him to regret that he did all that to me and broke my heart, what should i do in this case?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 28, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      HI Sara,

      are you in active no contact now?

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