The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Regan

April 12, 2014 at 8:48 pm

Okay I am super salty about my situation right now, I’ll give you the run down. And by the way yes I’m doge girl from the 2.0 guide so I’ve posted before. I’ll give you the full story this time.

THE BREAKUP: Basically where he’s at in his life right now he can’t be in a relationship is what he said. He has feelings for me but can’t act on them. While breaking up he said he was doing this so we could possibly get back together in the future and he hoped things would still work out for us. We had a trip planned together for next year and he said that might still happen.

So then I gave him space, possibly not enough but I did no contact for 2 weeks and then did the you’ll never believe what just happened text. Neutral leaning positive response. Cool. Then he texted me first a week later, positive conversation, I didn’t respond to the last text he sent. A few days later I pulled the doge stunt I told you about where I sent him the picture and he was like lol that’s funny it’s interesting bc (stuff about when he was a kid), I replied and then I sent him another one and he was like lol that’s pretty good. So obviously that wasn’t so great.

That was a few days ago and you said to wait a few days to try something else, so today I did this whole “guess where I am” thing. He was pretty neutral, then he turned slightly more positive, and I said I had to go for a while. I came back 2 hours later to the conversation and I was like I know so much about this place bc you showed it to me, I feel like an expert lol and he was like “as you should” and I said something about that being a really fun night and he didn’t answer

WHY WHY WHY come on I’m doing everything right this is the worst. What am I supposed to do, I used this guide to get a different guy back last semester 3 times I’m better than this.

What do I do, what’s happening, please help me this is so frustrating.

admin

April 13, 2014 at 4:40 pm

Super salty?

hahaha haven’t heard that one before.

Do you honestly buy his reason for a breakup?
Regan

April 13, 2014 at 6:31 pm

Lol it’s my new favorite catch phrase.

But honestly yeah I do believe him, his roommate said he hasn’t been on any dates or talked to any other girls and I know he was having serious issues with school, family and money. We were together for a while and we never even fought, and if he truly wanted it to be over forever I don’t think he’d put so much emphasis on getting back together.

For real though, what should I do? I mean his responses are always neutral leaning positive, never bad I just want to speed things up a bit bc I’m not a patient person. I’m gonna do another 1.5 week freeze out and then text him again, let him miss me a bit. But I mean should I first contact it up or do a good ole days type thing or..?

olivia14

April 12, 2014 at 4:59 am

Dear Chris, what could be the reason a guy would call his ex gf everyday atleast once or twice to check on her when he has a new gf and in love with her?

admin

April 12, 2014 at 4:28 pm

He still cares about waht the ex thinks and the ex can possibly be there for him in a way that the new girl cannot.
olivia14

April 14, 2014 at 7:39 pm

Is it possible for the girl to get his ex back in this situation?
admin

April 15, 2014 at 4:12 pm

Of course.

Alyssa

April 12, 2014 at 3:27 am

My ex boyfriend and I dated for almost a year. We fell in love really fast while he lived 3000 miles away from me (we were friends before he moved, and he came back to visit for a festival last summer and we hung out the whole time he was here, then kept in contact and started dating). He came to visit me a couple of times while he lived there and both times were perfect. He ended up moving back for me, and now we are broken up. He broke up with me because I was dishonest with him about stupid things that I should have told him the truth about, really stupid little things that I don’t know why I lied about. I don’t think I was completely ready for our relationship. I am 21 and he is 26. He’s had two serious relationships before me, and my only serious one was in high school. He says that he doesn’t want to talk to me and that he hates me. And he may be hanging out with another girl now, I am not sure. But he told me that he is leaving in a couple of weeks. So I don’t really have time for the no contact rule. Do you think that I can save this? We talked about getting married and having kids together… I don’t want to give up but I don’t know if even this will work for me.
Denise

April 12, 2014 at 12:37 am

My ex-boyfriend and I dated for 6 months. We ran into problems when I asked him for more time together. Because he has ADD, the entire issue was overwhelming for him, and as is common with people with ADD, over the course of two weeks, he became distant and then ran away dumping me via e-mail. I instituted “no contact” for two months until I sent him a “Happy Birthday” text to which he replied “Thank You”. My gay guy and married guy friends told me that it was clearly over. So, I did not continue with the other steps. It has now been 4.5 months since the break up and my ex has not contacted me. I sent him a “first contact text” two days ago and he did not respond. How long do I wait before texting him again? If he continues not to respond, how many texts should I send before I stop?
sara sen

April 11, 2014 at 8:26 pm

hey…my bf brokeup wid me 2months ago…he is saying that its all over forever…n he dnt luv me anymore n he is not intrstd anymore. can i use ur tricks on him to get him back? will it be applicable on him?
Brenda

April 11, 2014 at 8:21 pm

Please help!

My boyfriend & I of almost a year and a half broke up 3 weeks ago pretty much out of the blue. Just the week prior we we’re planning vacations and still saying I love yous. But then he came over saying “he doesn’t know if I’m the end all be all and he feels like be should know by now”. We left it at that but I texted him once that weekend asking to talk, he responded immediately and we agreed to meet that Tuesday. I basically explained that I realized I was a crummy girlfriend lately and I was taking out my personal issues on him and I was sorry and to give us a chance. He said while tearing up that he “really loves me & this was the hardest decision he’s had to make but he has a gut feeling something isn’t right and he doesn’t want to give it another chance”. This is the man I thought I’d marry. It took him a week to take our Facebook profile picture down but all my posts on his wall are still there & our photos are still in his albums & we’re still “friends” on Facebook. I haven’t talked to him since (now 17days), but I’m posting positive things that I’m doing out & about on my Facebook which he can see. This Easter is going to be the first holiday I wont spend with his family and I’m going to miss them as well as him… Should I use the holiday as my initial text & send him “hope you have a great Easter with your family, I remember really enjoying being there with them last year. Please tell your mom & dad happy Easter for me :)” ? I know it won’t be 30 days yet… I think it’s 27 & I also haven’t sent the “thinking of you” text yet. Any advice would help. I don’t want to screw up. Thanks.

admin

April 12, 2014 at 4:16 pm

I like the easter text. I think its solid.
Brenda

April 13, 2014 at 4:05 pm

Great, thank you. You don’t think it would make him feel irritated that I’m saying for him to tell his parents hello for me? From my situation above do you believe I have any chance getting him back?

Erin

April 11, 2014 at 6:48 pm

Chris you are wonderful!
I did the no contact rule, and it worked!
but I think I made a mistake.

I finished the whole 30 days and he didnt contact me at all. (I decided I was going to wait 35 so it didnt look like I was purposely waiting an exact month)
He ended up contacting me on day 32, saying he was so sad and missed me so much and he hasn’t cried like this in years. he said that we can’t be together right now, but hopefully we’ll end up together.
Anyway, I played it pretty cool. I didn’t get upset. I just said it was fine and I understood.
I assume he expected me to react differently cause he wouldn’t stop talking about it. At one point, he told me that he didnt want to abandon me like he did his father, and then told me how his father passed and blames himself (he was never ready to talk about it before)

I felt really bad and told him I was sorry for everything I’ve ever done. we didnt talk much longer, but he had to go to sleep and he was like ‘tell me you love me’ and I said ‘ you know I do’ and he said again ‘tell me you love me’
So I told him. And that’s the last I’ve heard from him in 4 days.
I’m afraid that I handled this wrong way. Like, thats exactly what he wanted to hear. He wanted to make me feel sorry for him, and he wanted to know that he was still wanted by me.
What do I do? Should I contact him, or does this mean I should wait another 30 days? (Ahh please no!)

Thanks again Chris!

admin

April 12, 2014 at 4:09 pm

Have you tried reaching out at all? During those 4 days.

Allison

April 11, 2014 at 5:27 pm

Hey Chris, my recent ex( who I’ve known for 5 years and had feelings for since) dated for 3 months and things were great but he recently broke up with me saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship 🙁 since we dated for a short time is the no contact still 30 days? Or can it be shorter?

admin

April 12, 2014 at 4:07 pm

Did he expand on the wasn’t ready for a relationship.

Read the 2.0 version of this article for your other question.

Joy

April 11, 2014 at 3:03 am

I broke NC after 1 week. He replied almost immediately, and it seems less “cold” than when we are on the verge of breaking up. The reason we broke up is because he lost feelings & prioritize his career. I admit i “pushed him away” by taking him for granted. He seems friendly to me and i ended the conv because he replied 1 word (which is typical of him). Is he just being nice or does miss me?
CC

April 11, 2014 at 1:23 am

So I tried the no contact rule but it is literally impossible because we have classes right next to each other everyday and have the same walking routes so I see him and we end up talking while walking to our next classes. Also, this guy says he still loves me more than a friend and even kissed me the other day and said that he thinks it will all work itself out when he’s not under so much pressure. Now this probably seems good, but then after all that, now he’s acting like I don’t even matter and I feel like I’m obsessing whether or not he’ll hook up with another girl or whatever. I’m just so confused about what to think or do because it’s been this pattern for about two weeks. He’ll do and say one thing and then treat me like his last priority when he used to be literally infatuated with me. Do I believe him that he still loves me as much he says he still does? And also , this guy is not a game player and has always been very open and honest with me.. I don’t know what to think and the confusion is killing me.

CC

April 11, 2014 at 1:25 am

PS We dated for 1 1/2 years
CC

April 11, 2014 at 1:37 am

Oh! And HES been the one to contact me and say how bad he needs me in his life and how he doesn’t want to loose me, all that, but won’t even consider talking about getting back together right now? He’s going through some changes so I understand he might be stressed , but this I just don’t get .

Lacey

April 10, 2014 at 10:00 pm

Hey Chris. My ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago, saying that he doesn’t see us together in the future & that we should just be friends. It was very hard at first but not once did I blow up his phone or beg him to come back. Being around him was super awkward at work. We couldn’t say anything other than hi. As time passed however and I began to heal, he began to warm up to me again slowly but surely. We went from ignoring each other to texting and talking on the phone. Last week I had to ask him for some help at work and before he showed up he offered to buy me something to drink at the gas station. Then when he came, he complimented my hair, brought up funny memories from our old relationship and wanted to take me to lunch, which I agreed to. I’m guessing he just wants to stay friends like he proposed 2 months ago, right?
mariya

April 10, 2014 at 11:41 am

Hello Chris

Hope you’re well. I know its slightly away from the main subject but I had to mention I am really impressed as to the very insightful and informative resource you have produced. I have struggled with relationships with the opposite sex due to a bad break up in my early 20s. I did come across the resource due to a break up but it helped me just focus and reallign my thinking on my approach in relationships. So thank you.

I have never had a problem with finding someone but I never connected with anyone until I met him. We have been on and off for about 18months. He was married, wife cheated a few times and left him. He hasnt got over it. He has three children. .
The main reasons we do split is because he feels he cant commit to me. I can do better. He becomes overwhelmed when he has problems with his family including ex, children, work n shuts me off. He has difficulties expressing himself so is difficult to read. Im not sure if to give up on him. I am not sure if he has been stringing me along or it is based on an insecurity.

What do u think it is coming from a male mind and also what would you suggest is the best course of action next. I am ready to move on if I need to
Michelle

April 10, 2014 at 4:09 am

So a guy a casually hung out with which almost turned into something got messed up so many times. Twice actually and partly both of our faults a year later I finally got him to come around and rooms chance but felt he wanted something just causal so I said that and said I don’t think this will work. I know he was angry yes Ignored my attempts to text and when I saw him out one night I noticed to late but could tell he still has feelings but is really hurt. I am going to do no contact. Which will be good cause my grandma and cousin recently passed away. And he knows all this. I apologized to him and still nothing so I want to wait. But because I know he wants me to just say what I want it’s hard because I want him to say what he wants. My question is what can I do to get him to hopefully come around? I know it’s best to give it a lot of time. Thanks

admin

April 11, 2014 at 3:40 am

Were the two of you ever officially dating though?

Holly

April 9, 2014 at 6:36 pm

Chris,
How do I get a date with you?

🙂

admin

April 10, 2014 at 1:20 am

You’ll have to fight my girlfriend in a cage match. Beware though, she’s a biter.

No no no, just kidding.

Sara M

April 9, 2014 at 2:14 pm

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years, and were incredibly happy throughout that time, and completely in love. Despite differences in religion, background, and age (he’s a 3 years younger), we were very much in love, deeply involved with each other’s families and friends, and had been talking about getting married, raising a family, and sharing a life together.

We went to a wedding of my family friend about 5 months ago, during which he was asked by random friends of my parents about what he did for a living, and when he was going to propose (blunt/rude, I know). I could tell that the entire experience was somewhat overwhelming for him, with how intense and status-focused our community is, our culture, etc.

Well about a month after that, I could tell something was wrong and a few days before the holidays, he broke up with me: said he feared he was wasting my time if he wasn’t ready to get married, and loved me too much to do that; and that all he could focus on right now, was getting his business off the ground, and he was worried that if he said no to travel abroad, that he would miss his opportunity to make something of himself. He wanted the freedom to travel abroad freely to pursue his career, which he worried was not in line with what I want/deserve. I tried to reassure him that I accept him just the way he is, and that his passion for what he does (he is so good by the way) was one of the reasons I loved him so much. But he was completely shut down at that point, and I couldn’t reach him.

I did not hear from him until a month later when he started texting me (this was before I knew about NC and during that month, I emailed him 2x, but otherwise left him alone – devastation does not even describe how I felt).

After texting over a few weeks, we met up, and had this wonderful dinner that lasted 10 hours. We talked, we cried, we made out, and he apologized for shutting down, and that he was so sorry for putting me and us through his period of uncertainty. We both agreed that we love each other very much, were committed to making this work long-term, but that we (especially him) needed to work on ourselves a bit so that this would never happen again.

Well, after that, I was so hopeful at first. We texted a bit for a few weeks, but to be honest, I became frustrated that there were no further efforts on his part to meet up again. He would take days to respond to texts, and I just got tired of living my life waiting to see if and when he would contact me. I reached out one more time in early March to see if he wanted to grab drinks, and he never responded.

Its been a month now since our last contact. I exercise everyday, and am in the best shape of my life. I have been traveling, spending time with girlfriends, and working on myself to become that “ungettable girl” again. We have many close mutual friends, so I know that he has been traveling continuously with work, and has been spending the majority of his free time with his family. I think about him every single day, miss and love him so much, and hope that he is doing ok, and that one day, we will find our way back to each other and be happy again.

Other than patience, is there anything else I should be doing?

admin

April 10, 2014 at 2:12 am

Hmm…

Maybe try going on a date with someone else just for fun?

It seems like you are doing everything right at this point.

Suzanne

April 9, 2014 at 8:03 am

Please help,I don’t know what to do…..,

Was seeing my ex for about 18 months, we had a few silly break ups in the time but it was down to poor conmunication rather than anything else.

We had a massive fight 3 weeks ago and he ended things and said that he never wanted me to contact him again, he has blocked my number so I can’t ring or text him. my ex has issues from His childhood and constantly fears rejection and if he thinks I’m not happy then he will end things because he things that’s what I am going to do so he wants to get in first. That isn’t the case, I love this guy and want to be with him. What should I do? I’m going into hospital next week and he hasn’t even bothered to wish me luck. Does he really not care anymore?

admin

April 10, 2014 at 2:09 am

He cares… he is probably too stubborn to set his ego aside though.
Suzanne

April 10, 2014 at 9:02 am

I’ve already done the no contact for almost 3 weeks and it’s been really hard :-(. How should I contact him after the 1 month as he has blocked by number?????
Suzanne

April 12, 2014 at 9:37 am

HELP!!!!!! I gave in to the no contact rule and emailed him 2 days ago and obviously he didn’t reply :-(( gutted doesn’t come close to how I feel, and have now found out this guy who likes me facebooked my ex telling him what a jerk he was for dumping me and that he was more than happy to step into his shoes. My ex is extremely jealous and I think this other guy had ruined any chance of us ever getting back together……, what can I do????
Suzanne

April 9, 2014 at 1:16 pm

Any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated, I’m totally confused and don’t know what to do

Maaike

April 8, 2014 at 3:27 pm

Hello, my boyfriend just broke up with me this Sunday. From the beginning he was like ”you are the one for me, we have so much in common, we want to have the same future, I will love you forever” and so on. But he is someone who really likes going away with his friends and who likes to have his peace at home when he’s on his pc listening to music, for example. He was often saying like (he’s in the same school and class like me,so that makes it more difficult,yeah we are both 16 years old) i wanna spend more time with friends at school, and with you in the weekends. He was like this since like the 4th month we were dating (we were together for 6 months and some days) he also has autism, this probably has something to do with it as well. So this Sunday, he told me he didnt have feelings for me anymore for almost a month and that we are so different from each other, that he cant talk to me seriously, but in the beginning he said we have alot in common and its true, and while Ive always been giving him advice from how he can keep up with his friends and stuff, so actually his arguments for breaking up are pretty invalid…I really want to convince him to come back to me and make him fall in love again, I wanna do everything for it…i think we are meant to be together but he just doesn’t realize it… what should i do?

Maaike

April 10, 2014 at 10:43 am

I’m getting totally depressed of this, any help is very welcome..
Evelynn

April 12, 2014 at 5:04 am

I’m using the no contact rule. how about tying it too.? if he is worth it then he will hopefullly come back.

Mini

April 8, 2014 at 1:04 pm

Hi!

So me and my ex broke up about a month ago. We’ve been just friends and he’s been going out with one of his exes from Sweden so it’s a long distance relationship. I’ve told him I’m not going to talk to him for a month. Bad mistake. And I’m not sure what to do! Should I start the NCR now or later? And plus, after he Easter holidays, I’ll have to see him at school all the time. So, shall I start the NCR or later?
Zee

April 8, 2014 at 6:16 am

Hi.
Me and my boyfriend broke up in 2012 but we continue seeing each other because he wanted me back. In 2013 I fell pregnant with my new boyfriend’s baby. When I told him that I’m pregnant he said he doesn’t want to talk to me again and we should not contact each other anymore.I text him twice but no response from him, I guess he really meant no contact anymore and he said he can’t be friends with me. Getting pregnant really hurt him a lot because he really wanted us to get back together get married and start a family. On my side, I wanted him back too but I was stupid enough to let him go and I was confused thinking I’m inlove with the new guy. I know now its way to late to have him back because now I have a baby. He really hate the guy so there is no way he can accept the baby. My baby is four months now. I don’t know what to do because I think there is no hope now. He doesn’t even know that I want him back. Maybe he has moved on with his life and I should do the same. He really loved me and he was a perfect boyfriend. I miss him everyday… We started dating in 2004 and broke up in 2012. This thing is killing me inside knowing that I choose the wrong guy and even have a baby with him. Is there anything I can do regarding this matter.
sophie

April 8, 2014 at 3:05 am

Hi,
i was dating this guy for two months he is so perfect then he had to leave to work to another country, the country i live is not really his homeland either coz that reason we had to break up, and we didnt contact for 1 year and half, then he had a few chance to back to the country to work , and he told me he probabably made some mistake that he misses me he couldnt make a committment now , he said things to make me blieve he wants to back together, we meet a couple of time enjoyed time together, bt after the last time he back to another country he didnt really talk to me at all, i gave him the deadline to let me know what he really thinks, he didnt respond, then i waited another month i was desperate and i send him a lot of messeng, a few calls, next day he wrote a email and told me that he doesnt want to be together right now ( maybe i pushed a little maybe he just doesnt know where he gonna live in the future bt i can wait bt i guess he doesnt want me to wait for him ). i still belive he will come back in the country now,he menetioned he would have chance to work in the country again after six month, i have deleted all our contact, what should i do now? i was thinking about to visit the country he works a few months later.i think he is geninue just i made too much mistake coz i didnt know how to handle the situation and i was showing too much affection towards him which turned him off, plz give me some tips.