The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Melissa

September 4, 2013 at 3:19 pm

And sometimes i See that he is online and replaying to commented on YT but he Doesnt Write me back ;( What Should i do?

admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:27 am

For now don’t contact him, you are digging yourself in a deeper hole by doing that.

I would also like to point out that the NC rule is your friend here.

Bex

September 4, 2013 at 10:52 am

My boyfriend (who I lived with) broke up with me after 2.5 yrs.
I honestly didn’t really see it coming, we had had a massive argument but I did not see it as a deal breaker. He told me a lot of things like; I like socialising, whereas he likes to stay at home, we have drifted apart, ‘you have taken me for granted’ and that he loves me but doesn’t see a future with me anymore. He also now wants to move up north to be with his family again (something he has never really mentioned)

I do think there is more to it, but I also think whatever the problem is it is not another woman.

So I moved a lot of my stuff to my mum’s, I only saw him once. I emailed him apologising for everything I had done wrong (even though he took me for granted also).
I then texted him wishing ‘Happy Birthday’ and I have NC him since.

I still have to collect things from the flat we shared but I also want to use this time to really discuss why this happened after NC for 30 days.

Do you think once we’ve discussed this it will be easier for me to get him back or shall I just stick to the texting plan?

Thanks

B

admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:17 am

Maybe you can kind of do a hybrid plan of the texting I suggest above to kind of lead into talking with him about things…. come to think of it that is kind of what I suggest above.

Linnea

September 4, 2013 at 8:05 am

Hi Chris,

Great site. You are going straight to heaven.

So my situation is that I am a girl with ridiculously high (/impossible) standards, and I broke it off with someone I had just started dating based on a lifestyle choice of his that I was averse to at the time through no fault of his own – I just didn’t like it because it reminded me of an ex, and I guess I kind of made him pay for someone else’s mistake (I realize this now).

I am someone who honestly tries to break it off with men as peacefully as possible, so after I ended it with him and tickets to see his favorite comedian that I had previously purchased for him finally came in the mail, I sent them to him to indicate that a) I did like him (enough to buy him the tickets!) and b) it really just this one thing that I couldn’t get over, but I sincerely wish all the happiness in the world for him. He received the tickets recently and emailed me to say thank you, that it meant a lot to him, and then proceeded to ask how I was doing. I replied that he was welcome, and asked how he’s been as well. He never responded, which I get…why continue talking if it’s not going anywhere? Other than that, since I ended it, I haven’t reached out to him at all. In fact, since we met online, I already deleted his number because I figured we’d never talk again.

Now…we only talked/dated for about two months, and during that time we were both traveling and so busy that we didn’t even get to see each other much. I think we went on about four or five dates, and while I spent a couple nights with him, I didn’t actually do anything sexual with him since I was still undecided about what I wanted with him. We did text/email daily (and throughout the entire day) the entire time though, so after I ended it and we entered “NC”, it did feel kind of abrupt. Still, I wasn’t too torn up since I was the one who decided to end it, and I figured I was just missing the routine of us talking all the time.

Now that I’ve had some space to think about it (and time to reflect on my decision) I’m kind of wanting to see where the relationship could have gone, because I haven’t dated anyone so sweet/thoughtful/kind in years. In fact, he was even nice to me when I ended it – very understanding and accepting of my decision, which is part of what makes me rethink everything. Again, I deleted his number so I can’t do the texting reach-out…how do you recommend I initiate contact with him again, and how long should I do NC for now? Does his lack of follow-up indicate lack of interest? It’s been a few weeks (not really sure exactly how long) since I ended it, and a couple weeks since the last email.

Thanks in advance,

L

admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:14 am

Hahah well at least you are not like that woman that has like 72 qualities that a man has to have in order for her to date him.

If you think I am kidding I am not. She actually has a list and was featured on one of those talkshows. The list was absolutely ridiculous.

So, I read your comment and let me see if I have this right. You haven’t dated anyone in years and you want someone back who you dated a few years ago?

If that is the case I would read this article. Of course, you have another problem since you don’t have his number. Do you have his Facebook or any other way of contacting him?
L

September 5, 2013 at 12:28 am

Haha, no, let me try to explain it more concisely.

a) We dated for about two months recently.
b) I ended it 5-6 weeks ago.
c) He received the tickets two-ish weeks ago, emailed me thank you. I responded, no reply from him. No more contact from either party.
d) I am reconsidering due to the fact I haven’t dated anyone as kind/thoughtful as he is for a while (all the others in the past several years were jerks), but don’t have means of contacting him other than email. No Facebook. I could add him eventually I guess but that would seem weird and probably creepy.
e) Enter you, Hero of the Internet.
admin

September 6, 2013 at 1:36 am

I wish everyone wrote their comments like you just did. See, I can understand that perfectly and don’t have to spend 10 minutes getting through something.

Hahaha.

Email will be fine. We have to make an exception in your case. From there you can grab his number and Facebook when the time comes (when it won’t seem creepy.)

For another two weeks don’t contact him. After that time period is up you can begin a plan. I recommend checking out Ex BF PRO for that. We might have to alter some things but you can just bug me and get the answer.
L

September 6, 2013 at 7:13 am

Sounds great. Thanks!

Melissa

September 4, 2013 at 5:19 am

So tommorow is his birthday.I don’t have any gifts for him.I will just wish him a nice day and so on.I though maybe i should let him wait all day?Meaning i will write him in the evening so he wonders why didn’t i write him already,no?But i’m afraid he doesn’t have me on his mind at all:(

admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:05 am

Yea this is probably the best way to do it imo.

Lenni

September 3, 2013 at 11:05 pm

My ex and I dated for about 4 months before he started to pull away. I thought that if I kept in touch with him, he would change his mind and come back to me. If I initiated, which was almost always, he would reply – text, phone, email. We also met in person a few times, again, I initiated. He seemed like the same old guy. The second last time we saw each other he tried hard to get me into bed. No, I didn’t. I told him he hurt me by trying to make things sexual when we rarely saw each other. We talked and texted a bit for a few weeks, initiated by me, then we saw each other again. All seemed well, then he gave a very passionate kiss and hug when we had to leave. Foolishly, I took this as a positive sign that he wanted to see me. I texted him a few times and although he responded and was polite, his responses were very short but he never tried to contact me. That was three weeks ago. Five days ago, I had enough. I sent a text saying I really liked him but wasn’t getting what I wanted from him and was moving on. I wished him happiness. The next day, I made two mistakes. First I left him a voice message saying I was sorry I texted and that it was the wrong way for him to hear that message but the message was the same. Then, after a few drinks (I know, you don’t have to say it) I texted again, saying I knew he had moved on, but I loved him and wished we could talk. I haven’t heard from him.
So, now I’ve found your page and realized where I have made mistakes and where I am justifying, ie. If he really wanted to see me, he would make an effort to contact me. I feel very guilty and stupid about the text but am glad to have found you and the no contact suggestion. I feel like I have done both something I should have done a long time ago and moved on then and also thrown away one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Do I sound crazy because I sure feel like it?
I am going to do the no contact. I know he may be hurt too, but he needs to bring something to the table. I don’t know how I will feel in 30 or more days and think that we all really need to be honest with ourselves about the reasons for the break-up and learn how to move forward from there.

admin

September 4, 2013 at 2:49 am

You sound like you have a really good plan going forward to me 🙂
Lenni

September 4, 2013 at 4:55 pm

Thank you. I’ll be honest, it hurts like hell to have made the decision to walk away and deal with the feelings of guilt about not being fair to him. I keep reminding myself that if he wanted to be with me, he would have made more effort. It’s hard to be in love with somebody who doesn’t / can’t / won’t be with you.
admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:33 am

Sadly, I know…

Cassandra

September 3, 2013 at 3:46 pm

I need some advice. My boyfriend of almost 6 years just broke up with me. We have been in an off and on relationship but it has never been this serious. Its usually a one or two day thing then we’re back together. I am the one who is sort of responisble because im not a problem solver and just sweep everything under the rug. But this time he cheated on me with another girl. And now he wants to go after her. His reason for breaking up with me is because he doesnt know what he wants and cant love me the way he wants to. He says its not fair for me that he is having thoughts of other girls. He says he loves me and care for me but he is afraid that it will happen again if we stay together and even though it hurts he needs to take this road on his own. Then im hearing from his cousin that he is saying hes never going to get back with me and going to go for this other girl. I am so hurt.. 6 years down the drain? I still want him back though.. We are so good, happy, and comfortable together i cant be like that with just anyone only him. What should i do to try to win him back? Im trying the NC and today is day 2 but im losing hope and i feel like he doesnt care about me anymore nor think of me..

admin

September 4, 2013 at 2:18 am

Deep breath!

You are on the right track. Keep doing NC. If you need anything I will be here.

I would also check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO as that could give you some inspiration. Oh, and the success section of this site.

Joyce

September 2, 2013 at 10:18 pm

Wish I had read this before. I also wish I wasn’t so easily wound up about things… No contact for a month, I texted him how I missed him. Got a good response, he missed me too. He even checked out my activity online by checking out my nickname… also been checking whatsapp and skype to see if I texted him. I got too eager and wanted to see if we could meet up. Ended up in a fight and now we’re done completely. He signed up for a dating site and I got upset and a little angry as well about it.

Oh well. We learn…

admin

September 3, 2013 at 3:20 am

Well, you do your best and that is all anyone can ask for!
Joyvke

September 3, 2013 at 2:42 pm

I suppose. During this period I’ve really tried to appeal to him on every way. The attraction has always been there, we always had fun. He just felt he couldn’t be bothered with a relation anymore. I guess he just wants to move to greener pastures. In the meantime I signed up on dating sites as well. Going to work on myself and all. Who knows he will realize what he’s letting go. We’ll see. Great site though and really enjoyable reading :). The fight was more due to him stating he didn’t wanted to meet up in a months time due to one of us maybe meeting someone else, then turned out he signed on a dating site – that really hurt..
admin

September 4, 2013 at 2:14 am

So, where are you at. Have you give up on trying to get him back?

Just wondering b/c if you have then I have a post I am writing that might be really helpful to you.
Joyvke

September 6, 2013 at 10:32 am

Nah I realized I don’t need that book anymore, not right now anyway ;). Found out some information about him that kind of made me realize I was just holding on to straws in the time we were trying. A friend found his profile which is full with lies. I wanted to do things he never felt like doing, now he does. He was always sleeping. Also according to him the relation ended in October, but we only broke it off like 2 months ago completely. So a liar is definitely not worth my time and aggravation.
So maybe in the future there is a guy I can actually use the book on, but for now ditching the ex for good :).
admin

September 7, 2013 at 1:49 am

Good for you!

I am glad you know now and have some clarity!
Joyvke

September 5, 2013 at 8:24 pm

I have indeed read that one, I’ve read all of the site so far :).
admin

September 6, 2013 at 2:27 am

Have you picked up the E-Book. You will get a lot out of that as well.

Also, I have a very interesting post planned for tomorrow.
Joyvke

September 4, 2013 at 10:54 pm

For the moment I think it’s best he experiences other woman, as I was his first in everything. Relation, kissing etc. As much as it pains me. I don’t think he will come back after he’s moved to greener pastures. I think he feels he needs to experience it, even though he won’t admit it. It was an LDR as well which makes it a bit tougher as well. Will keep checking the site as you made me curious now :).

ps: are you single? Haha I kid :). Thanks again for taking the time to respond!
admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:44 am

Have you read the LDR post?

P.S. I am!

Lyza

September 2, 2013 at 2:54 pm

My ex and i were togther for over 4 years. Just a month ago, things went cold. We had trust issues during the 2nd year of relationship. He texted with other girls And i still cant forget what he did. And i keep on taking things back even a month before we broke up. A month ago, he said that his patience went to its limit because of my complains. He doesnt have time for me amymore but he would hang out wih his friends everyday. And he even didnt had a plan on taking me out for dinner during our monthsary. All his time were spent with his friends. And he began to treat me cold. Then one day, he didnt see me on our usual saturday bondin because he said he felt dizzy. I started to notice all his excuses…to makes things short, he wants to break up wih because he doesnt want to see me hurt because of the changes in his attitude in dealing with me. But he wants us to be friends. I agreed on that. I asked him if there is still a chance for us give this relatiomship a 2nd chance, he said he is not sure. So i searched on the net onhow to recover back my ex. I read alot of aricles in the web and i saw this “no contact” stuff. So i gave it a try. And i was afraid if staying as his friend will notmake him miss me and eventually blow my chance to bring us back.3 days ago i texted him in a friendly manner that i wannt to move on and to stop our friendshipbecause it has no where to go but just to hurt me. He agreed and respected my decision.. and after that i was not able to respond on his text. 🙁 i know it was a risky decision but istll have high hopesthat this NC will be a success. Today is the 4th day of NC. 🙁 did i made the right decision? Please help me.

admin

September 3, 2013 at 3:09 am

I think you made the right decision. You might also want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. I think that could help you a lot.

What are you doing to evolve during your NC?
Lyza

September 3, 2013 at 3:44 am

I followed your advice. I hang out with my friends a lot than usual, shopping, going to the gym and focused more on my work. But there are still times i terribly miss him 🙁
admin

September 3, 2013 at 5:55 pm

I actually have a new post coming out that may help give you a few extra ideas. It won’t relate to your question perfectly b/c it is aimed more towards women who just don’t want their ex back and just want to move on. However, there are some good ideas in there for NC.

You are doing great so far.

Oh, you might also want to check out the PRO system on this site. It will help you out a lot.
Lyza

September 3, 2013 at 6:07 am

And one thing more, when i told him that i’ll he moving on, he asked me if he can still text or call me. And i said no he cant. Im worried that he will be hesitant to text or call me during the no contact period. And maybe it will draw him away from me. Should i be worried? Pls help me 🙁
admin

September 3, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Yea, you shouldn’t have done that…

Oh well, You will be contacting him after the NC period so no harm done.

Jim

September 2, 2013 at 2:32 pm

Thank you for putting this guide up. Really appreciate it.

I (I am a boy) broke up with my boyfriend 4 months ago. We didn’t have conflicts but I told him we were like roommates instead of lovers (we have been living together for 4 years).

After the break up he really wanted me back but I told him not to overreact and that time will heal the wounds etc. After one month I went to his house to get some stuff back and we kissed. I went to his house 2 more times and during the last visit we didn’t kiss at all.

Now he has another boyfriend. During the phonecall he said he still can’t get over with me and is still thinking of me, but he choosed the new guy over me. I told him before I knew he has another boyfriend that I wanna solve our problems but it seems he is not interested in that anymore.

Do you think I still have a second chance? I stopped checking his facebook and such. 6 days ago I talked to him for the last time by sending his a short message on whatsapp. I told him that a series that he used to watch was gonna air soon so he better watch it. But he said that things are different now and that he doesnt watch tv anymore. I ended it by saying “me too, I dont even watch my fav series anymore”.

What to do no? Thanks a lot.

admin

September 3, 2013 at 3:05 am

Hi Jim!

Have you tried NC yet?
Jim

September 3, 2013 at 6:37 pm

Today he suddenly liked one of my pictures on Facebook. It was a picture from last week so I knew he was watching my timeline. What to do? Do I have to wait for another 3 weeks before sending him a message? I am just a bit afraid that after 3 weeks he and his new boyfriend will have a better relationship!

I am not sure how long they are officially together now. Maybe 1 or 1,5 months.

Please help me, thanks.
admin

September 4, 2013 at 2:28 am

Yup, just leave it be and still wait the amount of time you have left.

Have you read the rebound page?
Jim

September 3, 2013 at 7:13 am

It’s been 4 months now but the last time I sent an app to him was last Tuesday. So I have to wait for another 3 weeks?

I did find a new place to stay and got myself a make over and such already 🙂
admin

September 3, 2013 at 6:29 pm

Yup! and good job on the make over 🙂

TheTic

September 2, 2013 at 11:42 am

Hi, Just read through this and SO wish I had seen this in time. Wish I could have remained calm and implemented these steps. I dumped my boyfriend very hastily and in a fit of tears and anger through text but later realised he hadn’t cheated on me. I basically tried to get him back too soon and had a couple of good chances to get him back but then ruined them by going on about what I saw and the ‘cheating’. I know he loves me and wants to be with me but fears it’ll never be the same and is not sure if he can trust me after dumping him. Haven’t been in touch in nearly 4 weeks. We had a conversation and he didn’t respond to my last text so I didn’t bother trying again. Didn’t want to hassle him. I know he is going through so big issues and told me that he has a lot on his mind and said he wasn’t brushing me off.

However, right now it feels like that unfortunately. But no contact is the best thing I’ve done and wish I had done it before instead of trying to convince him too early to get back together. :/

Nessa

September 5, 2013 at 4:29 pm

Hi TheTic, I’m going through the same… My ex was head over heals for me and I got cold… now it’s been 4weeks NC and I’m hoping for the best 🙂 But at the same time I’m taking really good care of me, travelling with my friends and family, shopping, doing my nails and hair and working out alot! Hope it’ll do to trick! 😉
admin

September 3, 2013 at 3:01 am

Yea, a common story I hear too often unfortunately (reading this page too late.) Nevertheless, you are on the right rack with NC!
TheTic

September 3, 2013 at 5:31 am

Would you say it’s best if I continue to not contact him even if he doesn’t contact me? I’m thinking if I do, I’d be hassling a man who doesn’t want to be contacted! But it’s hard to know coz I dumped him. It’ll be 4 weeks on Wednesday x
admin

September 3, 2013 at 6:13 pm

I say only contact him when YOU feel the time is right. No one knows your situation better than you.
TheTic

September 4, 2013 at 8:02 am

That’s true. I went with that. I really felt this was the right time and turns out it was.
admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:09 am

🙂
TheTic

September 3, 2013 at 12:21 am

Any advice? I’m feeling down and have a gut instinct he’s just not going to come back despite him being head over heels for me. It’s such a unique situation 🙁
admin

September 3, 2013 at 3:22 am

Yes, don’t focus on that stuff. Think really positively and focus on yourself a lot.

Melissa

September 2, 2013 at 9:26 am

So i will wait 3-5 days, okay. He answered me yesterday then and we had a lil converstaion and i think it was quite positiv?I don’t know:
He:you’re always forgiven in every ways, and I truely appriciate your appologies.
Me: I’m glad! Are you still hating on me?….
He: I am not hating on you at all, I am just taking a time out for your concern.
It’s okay , at least there’s something to learn from mistakes.
Me: Uhghh I should go, tennis match >< Bye!
He:Good luck then.Bye =3

Yeeah there was something i needed to apologise,was it wrong?

admin

September 3, 2013 at 2:57 am

Nope sounds ok to me!

Ash

September 1, 2013 at 8:54 am

Im loving ur website…most of things were there at the back of my head but ur explanations actually make me feel more confident n infact a sense if relief….great work!

Btw its NC day 20..he hasnt contacted me yet but it doesn matter some how feel things ll fall in place!

Probably u should also write a section on what to do once u get back to ur boyfriend !!

A few places i laughed so much coz i know i did such things and now t seems so funny!!!!

admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:17 am

Hi Ash!

I think I will do that in the future (write a “what to do after you get your ex back”)

Alice

September 1, 2013 at 5:25 am

Hey Chris,
Thanks for writing this guide-it really is thorough and makes a lot of sense. I am writing because I am wondering if there is any hope for me and my ex getting back together. We dated for 2 years and were very close friends for a year before that. He was amazing in the beginning. We had the best time together and really complimented eachother well. Then around month 7 I found out he was in contact with an ex of his and it really shook my confidence. He promised nothing happened an I do beleive him because they weren’t in the same state but the conversation between them said some things you do not tell a girl when you are with someone else. After that I became angry alot and pretty needy. As this continued I felt him pulling away- not including me in things or wanting to be with me or make any time for me at all eventually. I broke up with him in June because I couldn’t take it anymore that he was always putting me last. We’ve stayed in contact through the summer either thinking abt working on things or having major major fights. iit seemed like even though i was the one that initiated the break up he was the one saying he needed space and not wanting to try to work on things. 2 weeks ago he sent 2 dozen roses to me at work for my birthday. Then I left for vacation 5 days later and we got in a fight before I left and he didnt say bye. On the 5th day of my vaca I freaked out and emailed him and called a bunch of times demanding an answer for why he hasn’t tried to get in touch with me and how he could be so selfish. He ignored me and then said after 2 days that its over forever and to never contact him again. Does he mean this is it for good? I know he said that but he sent me flowers just 2 weeks ago. I would love to take some time and for us to get back to where we used to be when we were great but maybe his behavior all this time just means he fell out of love a long time ago. I know i called to much and acted way to desperate the last few months and i majorly regret that now and hope he wasnt pushed to his breaking point. is there hope?

admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:09 am

Wow those are some serious mixed signals.

Sending you flowers and then all of a sudden “never talk to me again.”

I think your best bet is to go into NC. He seems to be emotionally all over the place right now. I think there is hope though.
Alice

September 3, 2013 at 2:04 am

That makes sense. What if he doesn’t try to get in touch with me after no contact or ignores me when I do text in a month or two? Do I just accept that it’s over?
admin

September 3, 2013 at 3:25 am

No, there are things you can do.

I would try everything before you throw the towel in. At least you can sleep at night knowing you tried your best.
Alice

September 9, 2013 at 12:04 pm

He stopped following me on instagram this weekend and deleted all the pictures he had of me on there and then unfriended me on facebook. Why is he doing this? I don’t understand what happened that he all the sudden told me to never contact him again and is deleting any connection to me whatsoever.
admin

September 9, 2013 at 7:54 pm

Just stay strong. They are just pictures.
Alice

September 1, 2013 at 5:29 am

Oh I also forgot to mention he still has a ton of my clothes. Any time I ask when I can get my stuff back he completely ignores me. Does that mean he never wants to speak to me again to the point he doesn’t intend on giving me my things back?
admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:10 am

Total d*ck move to not give your clothes back. You are entitled to them.

How much do your clothes mean to you? If they mean a lot I would say you do need to get them back.

Janet

August 31, 2013 at 11:50 pm

My bf recently (2 days ago) broke up with me after a two month relationship. It wasn’t long, I know, but it was maybe the best two months of my life. Everything was going really well up until the last week. He said he needed to figure some things out, do some soul-searching, and just basically wasn’t ready to commit to a relationship (although he was the initiator in the beginning and asked me to be his gf within the first few weeks). I respect his decision, but I’m not ready to give him up. When he first broke up with me, I was pretty weepy and probably a little pathetic. It was just a shock to me. Anyways, he texted me the next day to see if I was “feeling any better” and I haven’t responded. My first question– I have things at his house that I’d like back. Will it mess up NC if I ask for it back? Second, he greatly stressed wanting to remain friends and hang out/get drinks, which I don’t think is a great idea, but we have so many mutual friends and run in such a small circle, that seeing him around is inevitable. What do I do in these situations during the NC period?

admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:48 am

No, actually you are allowed to break NC to get your things.

Oh, and you might want to check out ex bf recovery pro if you want more detailed instructions on how to get him back.

If you run into him in person be polite, respectiful, beautiful and very happy.

melissa

August 31, 2013 at 6:34 pm

so after my NC we talked again,we sortet out some stuff and hesaid :Everyone deserves a second chance.you too butitis too early.And when o said okay,he answered with “Ichanged so forget it” What do i do now?

admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:42 am

I think you made a small mistake. You immediately talked to him about your relationship. You didn’t butter him up or recreate attraction at all.
Melissa

September 1, 2013 at 6:37 am

Ughhhhh i know but when i Wrote him,he answered me very Ncely.but i kinda Remakes that he didnt forgave me because dring NC,Lots of sh*t was going around and he Thinks i Said something hateful about him.He Said he changed to which i replayed it is normal,i Wonder why and he responded with :what is it for you? I kinda didnt get the question and asked what he means and then he didnt respond.What Should i do now?Creat attraction?
admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:16 am

Wait some time before you try texting him again. I would say a good 3-5 days.

Linny

August 31, 2013 at 7:32 am

Hey Chris! First off I want to thank you for all the hard work you put into this and the time you take to listen to us girls whine and bitch about our girly problems. Im sure its hard being THE guy all the girls come crying to but at least you know we appreciate you 🙂

Anyways, I have a question…so I purchased the Text Your Ex program you suggested and I completed NC and sent two ATB text with both getting really positive responses. When we first broke up I deleted him from Instagram and took off all our pics from there and took him off my newsfeed in Facebook so I dont have this constant reminded of him. Ive been really good about not stalking him online and such and did everything you and the program suggested like doll myself up and get fit and date. ok to the point… so after I sent him the ATBs I think it made me think of me? which is a good things right? so my girlfriend told me he recently took off all my pics off his instagram the same day I sent him the 2nd ATB. I felt like by me sending him an ATB it got him to notice me and notice the fact that all the pics are gone from my instagram and I think he took his pics off out of spite. Excuse my language but….it really f*cks with my head when he still has all of our pictures up on his FB and responding to my ATBs positively? I have pics of us still up on my FB but like you suggested, only keep the ones where were next to each other in happy memories but not PDA ones. So what do you make of this? By him deleting my pics after responding to my texts in a positive manner, how should I read this situation?

Thank you again by the way 🙂

admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:17 am

Honestly, I think you read it perfectly. He probably doesn’t want to feel like the weird ex boyfriend who hasn’t taken his pictures down yet. You are still pretty early in the process so I wouldn’t let this derail your progress, especially since you got positive responses.

Tell you what, if you email me I can give you a 50% discount on Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO if you are interested. (only because you buttered me up 😉 .) If you aren’t interested no hard feelings. I will always be here to listen and offer my two cents.

Anna

August 31, 2013 at 5:54 am

Hey, I am currently a junior in hs and my ex is a senior. We went out for almost 2.5 years and he was my first bf and first love. We had a really innocent, as well as a strong and loving relationship. Right from when we started talking we bonded…and he is the first guy to ever come into my life and understand me so well. He told me he loved me every single day and he was the sweetest and kindest guy I’ve ever known. On the other hand, Im not good at expressing my feelings because I’ve never had to do it before…I’m a more outgoing and blunt person, and I am also unaware of things. After some time we started to get into arguments over dumb things that we couldn’t help…but we always made up within 2-3 days max. We were completely committed to eachother and promised eachother that no matter what we’d overcome the obstacles and not give up as long as we still love eachother. He is a really jealous and sensitive type of guy. And sometimes I get really annoyed because I have alot of guy friends and I’m also a hothead which leads to more arguements. He’d sometimes be upset that I couldn’t go out often since I’m from a typical strict asian family. Nonetheless we never have up and always had a strong bond. Two weeks ago, I called a break because I haven’t felt sparks in awhile and also we haven’t talked much lately due to my busy schedules. And even though he texted me, I sort of ignored him…and on the first day of school I wanted to approach him and start fresh but I had no confidence…same with the second day…so when I came home, I texted him that night. And he told me he wanted to break up seriously… I was heartbroken. He said for the past few days he felt from my eyes and actions that I didn’t care anymore. And that he was tired of always being to one to try to come to me and fix things…even when I tried to tell him how I truly feel and that I didn’t mean it like that, he gave up.. He told me it was killing him cus he still loved me and cared for me, but he thought it’d be better in the long run, and it’d make me happier too. But right at that moment I realized that I hadn’t even noticed when he hurt and I never put my all into our relationship…he told me he wanted to stay friends. But when I asked him how he’d feel it I dated someone else after, he said he’d be upset and wouldn’t have a reason to talk to me… I’m so confused. He said there’s a part of him who wanted to get back but then he knew it couldn’t happen, and that he won’t go back. Because nothing will change. We would just get along for some time then start to clash again. He cried when we broke up and I felt like dying while we hugged… I know we’re still young but I hate giving up halfway. I was wondering if your advices can help in this case…

admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:12 am

You might want to try a shortened NC Rule of 2 weeks. I only say that because at your age boys tend to be a little bit more emotional and less in control and you might be able to shock him into coming back.
Anna

August 31, 2013 at 1:14 pm

Our memories are too precious to just let go… It hasn’t even been a week yet but I’m already suffering. I couldn’t eat, sleep, and all I can do is cry. When I see him in the hallways, he would give a small smile and a small wave… And I’d loo away. It hurt too much to see that. He was always the one who clung onto me and was the one who would never leave me no matter what…now that this happened I couldn’t believe how he can just push aside our years of love and memories…
admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:26 am

I understand how you feel. Like nothing you had together meant anything. Well, I am pretty sure it did for him.

Alana

August 31, 2013 at 3:18 am

My husband left back in feb, we r now completely devorced, he has a new gf , and all i have done is hurt, begged, and pleaded, he left cuz we fought alot and for a small other dumb reasons..we were together over six years, two boys together, and he keepz.saying he wont come back because i fixed the small things to late and he sayz he doesnt love me anymore 🙁 what do u thimk my chances are by doing this ? I feel he iz very annoyed by the fact i am in love with him and still wanna fix things.. Also we switched days with our kids two weeks ago n he didnt stick to the deal but.now he wants them one day this weekend, i told him no and now he is so mad at me.. Should i have saix yes ?

admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:11 am

I think you should read this page.

Also, I plan on writing a long in-depth post for how to get your ex husband back in the future but I am knocking out a few other things first.

For now, I would try a limited contact plan if I was you. Oh, you also might want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.
Alana

September 1, 2013 at 6:37 am

I just wanted to know if you thought i had a chance to have him return ? And if i should switch days?
admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:14 am

Yes there is always a chance. BUT that doesn’t mean you will succeed.
Alana

August 31, 2013 at 8:54 am

Sorry about all the bad typing lol, its my phone..
admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:13 am

Oh, no problem. I figured.

So, how can I help you?

anon

August 30, 2013 at 8:11 pm

So there’s this a guy that I dated two years ago. Not for long… Four/five months straight max. We’d hang out intermittently (nothing physical but you could tell there was still an attraction and the conversations were occasionally emotionally charged). He called it quits because he said he was ready to find a wife and settle down, because I am five years younger I hesitantly agreed to let him go because I wasn’t sure what else to do. The break up was weird in that he kept saying he didn’t want me but then would kiss and hold me like his life depended on it? It was very confusing for me.
The idea of him marrying someone else since I wasn’t ready literally was driving me crazy so I just up and moved on a whim. In hindsight this obviously wasn’t the smartest thing to do. We kept in contact every few months (he would check in and occasionally see if we could meet up when he was in my city). I had started seeing someone else who turned out to just be a rebound, he didn’t know about him until recently. Doesn’t really matter though because that ended…! Anyway, I just moved back so we’re living in the same city again. He’s still not married and from what friends tell me it sounds like he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I ran into him two months ago with a girl that looked similar to me and it didn’t go over well (we both were VERY flustered by the run in). I implemented NC for the last month and a half.
So having heard some of my situation – his birthday is coming up. I was wondering if I should shoot him a short email wishing him a “happy bd and hoping all is well” type thing. Or is this a bad idea for trying to rekindle this relationship? Should I wait a few more months to see if he comes to me or we run into each other again? I finally feel like I’m ready to settle down and start a life with him if that’s what he wanted. It’s hard to say what he wanted though… Your advice would be very much appreciated!

admin

August 31, 2013 at 2:23 am

I think you should wait a few weeks and then contact him. I wouldn’t contact him on his birthday because he isn’t going to be in a mood to talk about your relationship.
anon

August 31, 2013 at 12:02 am

**The intermittent hanging out was post break up over the last two years just to clarify. I just realized that was very unclear. We saw each other regularly (every few nights/days or daily) while we were together.

Lily

August 30, 2013 at 3:56 pm

my ex was crying his eyes out when he broke up with me. He kept saying he felt like a dick, and apologising for it. he said he didnt want to hurt me. he tried going out the night of with his friends and had to come home as “he wasn’t in the mood to stay out”. He also took a half day off work the next day. We agreed to meet in a month after the breakup, and that text was very diplomatic, understanding and friendly to him and he agreed to meet me. Our texts since have been quite… friendly, and slightly apologetic ( sorry i cant come out cant afford it, which for both of us is more truth than avoiding seeing each other) What does all this tell u? I’m using this time away from him to fix myself and gain confidence. It seems like a full month of NC wouldn’t be a good idea?

admin

August 31, 2013 at 2:20 am

Have you already met up in person like you planned to? Maybe you could do a test run of NC for a couple of weeks.
Lily

August 31, 2013 at 9:15 am

not yet. I asked him to meet sometime mid september and he said “i guess so yeah”. I think i will do no contact for a couple of weeks now until i see him again
Lily

September 7, 2013 at 5:41 pm

Its proper awkward as he only has twitter which means i cant apply the fb information to get him back! He keeps posting tweets that make me want to talk to him or invite him out to places. We had a quick friendly chat about tv- me stating that programmes i never watched with him were actually quite good. He’s sitting at home on his own rather than being out, but i dont know if thats reason enough to ask him to come out? he hasn’t made any effort to contact me at all since it happened and its been nearly a month now.
Lily

September 18, 2013 at 1:55 pm

Hi chris! I met him by accident on the metro and he set a date for us to go back out again next week. Should I start trying to discuss getting back together or making a move showing im interested in him?
admin

September 19, 2013 at 1:57 am

Sweet!

Have you read my new post? https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-making-your-ex-boyfriend-love-you-again/.

You can get some ideas about how to handle the interaction.
Lily

September 15, 2013 at 3:21 pm

Hey Chris
its been nearly a week since we met up and we’ve had a couple of chats since. But tbh I dont know what to talk to him about? And I saw your recommendation of making a list of memories for the ‘becoming the ungettable girl’ part, but my brain is literally mush, I can’t remember 20 things. Yet I still want to talk to him and be his friend. I’m not officially meeting him for a couple of weeks, any ideas for what to do inbetween this?
admin

September 16, 2013 at 4:12 am

I am actually glad someone read that far down that page hahahha.

The list of memories thing would be nice. They don’t have to be big things. They can be small.
Lily

September 12, 2013 at 5:32 pm

Yes if you want to 🙂 although i will update you soon if the situation goes any further 🙂
admin

September 13, 2013 at 3:59 am

Keep me updated for sure!
Lily

September 11, 2013 at 6:44 am

Thank you so much! My work during the NC actually worked, we met up last night and it went really well. I scheduled for just food but we stayed out for over 5 hours!! we were laughing and joking like we used to. He also showed a couple of “possessive” traits; ( a mate of mine tried to ask me out on a date and he said you’re way too good for him) and admitted he’d missed hanging out with me. I paid for most of it, and on the way home he said he would take me out to pay me back for it at the end of the month… This is good that he initiated the 2nd meet,right?
He also hugged me goodbye then sent a followup text just as i got home saying he had a good time and put an X on the end of the text ( something he doesnt do when he texts and only started doing that when we were first getting to know each other) pleaasee do a post on what to do after the first meet-up! So happy thanks to your advice!!
admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:08 am

That is FANTASTIC!

Do you mind if I put your story in the success section to show people NC can work?
Lily

September 9, 2013 at 11:29 pm

ooh thank u! Im meeting him tomorrow but we’ve stated that it is as friends. Will reinitiating the NO CONTACT rule after we meet give me a better chance? Ooh thank u, from next week i might be able to get hold of the book! But yes a post on the ungettable girl will be greatly appreciated, I’ve done all the steps u said- focus on me, lose weight, change my look and sorting out my own life.
On saturday his friend sent me a text from my ex’s phone and he told me it was not him that sent it and he wanted to make that clear. Then after discussion we agreed to meet as friends and I told him i didnt want what we had back, it obviously didnt work ( but didnt mention if i was open to trying again) was this a good idea?
admin

September 11, 2013 at 1:32 am

The post is coming up. It is going to be strictly about how to reattract him!

I would say don’t do the NC rule after you meet him unless the situation gets really really bad and you are forced to step away for a while.
Lily

September 8, 2013 at 7:11 pm

I can’t buy the book right now 🙁 What do you mean by ungettable girl?
admin

September 9, 2013 at 6:28 pm

I have a post coming out pretty soon that will describe it in detail!

If the book is out of your price range just email me and I will MAKE it in your price range 🙂
Lily

September 8, 2013 at 9:34 am

It’s official we’re meeting tomorrow and i’m in the friendzone. AHH! i checked your friendzone page, any more hints and tips? Is trying to be the girl he fell for a good way to get out of the friendzone?
admin

September 8, 2013 at 4:47 pm

That darn friend zone. Aggrivating isn’t it?

I would say become the ungettable girl. I haven’t done a post on that but I talk about it extensively in EBR PRO.
admin

September 8, 2013 at 12:03 am

Hmm… you need to find a way to get his number I think.
admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:17 am

Yea, that sounds like a solid plan!
Lily

September 12, 2013 at 6:55 am

yeah u can. I will update you if anything more comes from it.
admin

September 13, 2013 at 3:41 am

Definitely keep me updated.

Also, I saw that you purchased the E-Book. You have no idea what that means to me.
Lily

September 6, 2013 at 7:00 pm

Okay i get that now 🙂 but we agreed to meet up after the month is up. where do i slot in the slow approach of the texts etc?
admin

September 7, 2013 at 2:00 am

You want it all to seem natural. So, probably start really really soon.
Lily

September 5, 2013 at 8:37 am

I know you rate this no contact but for me it just feels like he’s slipping away even more. My no contact ends next weekend and he has only spoken to me if i spoke to him first. what does this mean? Are there anyways to convnce a stubborn person to listen to your point of view without them feeling like you’re trying to control them?
admin

September 6, 2013 at 2:02 am

Yea, you give them space and then when you do contact them you take things very lightly. Don’t try to get everything at once. Hang in there I know it’s tough.I am here if you need to vent.

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