How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Libby

August 13, 2013 at 1:18 pm

Hi,
I was with my boyfriend for over 2 years, well we met on a night out, exchanged phone numbers and text and spoke to each other every day for 6 months, getting to know each other and because I have a little boy which I think was a big deal to him and he wanted to make sure it would work i think. When we did start meeting it was amazin, we felt so comfortable with each other n we were so in love. He would be worried that I’d cheat on him coz he had a bad past with girls cheating and being nasty and he continually asked me not to hurt him. Deep down he knew I never would, he told me on many occasions I was the best girlfriend ever and knew how much I loved him as no one had ever been there for him like I am. But he would still get worried if I wore nice things when we’d go out sayin everybody was gonna look at me. Anyway everything was all good my son adored him, I adored him n he told me he loved me everyday n we were happy, we did have our rows and we did av a rough patch for a couple of months coz he was working nights n he became moody and he suggested breaking up so I could be happy and I said no and we got through it n were so in love again. Even he kept asking to have a baby with me last year n I said after our birthdays (April) jus to make sure we’re ok which he was upset about coz he thought I didn’t love him enough but I explained that I jus want us to be forever. Well our birthdays came april jus gone n we were so so happy he got me all engraved gifts each one with messages like ” Love you!! to my gorgeous girlfriend, hope you are the best girlfriend ever and i hope we get to spend many more birthdays with each other, love you with all my heart” “forever yours” a message in a bottle saying that he was glad to have met me, don’t kno how he could live without me now, wants to grow old with me and can’t wait to have everything with me and all other lovely stuff. I was so happy coz even though I’m 30 I have never ever felt like this before. At the end of may we had the biggest row and he left but over the next couple of days we still text and we told each other that we still loved each other and didn’t wanna be apart so we said we’d try again and yea we was both hurt so obviously we needed to work through it but end of June he told me he was feeling confused. Then slowly the texts n phonecalls got less and I kept telling him how important he is and how much I love him coz we was always open about our feelings but sometimes he’d answer and sometimes not but it was mainly to say that he was basically confused, dealing with he’s feelings and that he didn’t want to row anymore. Then about 3weeks ago we officially broke up, he came to get some stuff he left for all of about 2mins coz he’s friend was in the car and he said “whats the matter? I would stay for a bit but I can’t” to which I tried to say if you wanted to u would but I jus broke down n he left. That night he was cold telling me I need to get over my feelings, learn to forget, what we had was good but it went downhill. So the last time we text was last week but I’ve jus seen on Facebook that he’s changed he profile pic to him and a girl who’s friends with he’s friend which has absolutely crushed me as I now know that he was obviously talking to her through our confused stage because i see other stuff too and because its so quick while I ad to wait n she’s got kids also. I really would love to have him back I know I should hate him but I can’t. I don’t kno how u love someone then it’s gone. I really want to send a message to him to let him kno that I know about the girl and how hurt I am by what he’s done and then jus leave it for the NCR or jus ignore it? Do you think he’ll ever come back?

admin

August 14, 2013 at 2:18 am

That is the worst :(.

Feeling that feeling, feeling safe, secure and loved one day and then the next day to have it ripped from you completely. Gosh, I hate that.

I am going to be straight with you. I can’t tell you if he will come back or not. I am not a fortune teller so I can’t give you a legitimate answer.

I will say that you should just enter into NC and not mention how hurt you are to him. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

Tanya

August 13, 2013 at 7:05 am

I (26) was dating a guy (27) for around 6 months and everything was great except for timing. He just so happens to be going on a business trip for several months and being in a LDR is unrealistic to both of us. We parted ways several weeks ago and were very emotional & cried as we said our goodbyes. I know for a fact he doesn’t normally cry easily, nor do I. However, he seems to have been chatting up a new girl although he is leaving at the end of the month. I am confused because I still can’t seem to stop thinking about him. Has he already moved on? Am i simply being jealous and insecure just because I am not ready to date yet?

admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:49 am

Ouch, as a rule guys appear to move on quicker than women do. However, if you had as intense of a connection as you are describing I think the new girl won’t be able to live up to the standard you set.

You are being a little jealous but here is the thing, it is completely normal. He would be jealous if he saw you talking with another guy.
Tanya

August 16, 2013 at 1:01 am

wow, i really appreciate how you take the time to reply to all responses! anyway, although i know i may just be confused because this is a recent “breakup”, do you think it would be possible to reignite the sparks we had when he returns home from the business trip in 6 months? His best friends all genuinely like me and we hangout regularly. I’ve also already met his family several times. (these are also reasons why I am so confused as to why it seems he’s already moved on).
admin

August 16, 2013 at 3:18 am

As long as you establish contact with him and it goes will while he is away I think it is possible.

faith.

August 13, 2013 at 4:23 am

i love the advices uve given out here..i am going to try the nc rule and see whether al get him back.

admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:39 am

I love your comments! Good luck on the no contact rule.

nikkole

August 13, 2013 at 12:20 am

Hello. My name is Nikkole. I have been dating and living with my boyfriend for a year now. We have had our ups and Downs and he tells me that I was being a b*tch. He was always texting and talking to other girls. We ended up breaking up and I moved out. Around a week later we started talking and working things out. Come 3 days ago he told me he hates me and is now dating a girl who lives 18 hours away in Michigan. He constantly tells me how much he hates me and wants me to leave but I have no where else to go. We barley talk and he’s always on the phone with his new girlfriend and she’s always talking crap about me telling me that I’m physco and what not.

admin

August 13, 2013 at 3:24 am

He sounds like a jerk. Don’t get him back please. Let him wallow in his mistake of a life.

Molly

August 12, 2013 at 7:55 pm

I am sure you are bombarded by girls/women asking this all the time, but do you really believe that someone can get their ex back even if they are seeing someone else? I found your website today, and it was a great comfort to know that maybe there is hope. I spent the better part of my lunch break reading through all the things you had written. I was like “Wow”, maybe I’m not crazy after all. I recently went through a breakup with my fiance. We were together for two years and had many ups and downs, (he has physically left at least 3 other times) He would sometimes accuse me of wanting someone else, which was insane, because I was extremely faithful, to the point I offered my phone records and facebook password just to prove it. He wolud always refuse to look at them, he said he was afraid of what he would find. If I just looked at another man that passed me in the grocery store, he would ask me if I wanted his number. He even went so far as to say that I wanted my best friend who is a male.(We have been friends since grade school) Then on the 16th of last month we had an argument over something trivial and it just escalated. I didn’t ask him to leave, although he tried to get me to make the decision on whether or not he should stay or go. I told him of course I didn’t want him to go, but that it was not my choice. He left of his own accord.I tried a several times over a period of a week or so to talk and text him about us and if we could fix it, but most of the time he just told me “I don’t know what to tell you.” Then, shock of my life 16 days later, he started seeing someone. The day he told me was the worst of all I think. I needed someone to watch my 11 yr old (previous relationship), and seeing as how he had been in my son’s life for the past two years, I figured I would ask. He was my last resort. I called, I asked and he said he would need to think about it and text me to let me know. This was at 12:30, and I had to be at work at 5. I told him he didn’t have to show up until 4:30. At 12:50 he texted and said he was on his way. I was kind of surprised, but delighted and relieved. When he got there he came in wrapped his arms around me, kissed and hugged me, said he missed me and was very affectionate. Things even got intimate before I left for work. Before this meeting it had been well over a week since we had seen one another, and we hadn’t been really talking much. Well needless to say I was ecstatic, I was sure he was going to stay the night, and we would be able to spend some time together and talk about “us”. Boy was I wrong. When I got home (around 7) he asked if I had seen facebook, to which I said “no”. He then proceeded to tell me that he was in a relationship, I teared up but didn’t get angry or yell and beg. Now remember, 6 hours earlier we were intimate. I asked him what that was and he said what we had done meant nothing. He said I needed to go out, have fun, meet people, like he was doing (which is also weird because for our 2 yrs together he was extremely anti-social, I mean he would not even go to a sit-down restaurant. After he said all of that he left in tears, sobbing, gasping for breath tears. Also, when I say anti social, I mean he didn’t want to meet my friends, didn’t really want anyone to come to the house we shared, and never went anywhere alone.) He said he was going to live his life and I should to. He also told me that since he had begun talking to this girl that he had been out with her family, friends and was going all kinds of places he otherwise would have never went with me. This girl has always been “in the wings” so to speak, if we had trouble or fights, she is who he would turn to for comfort and acceptance. I don’t believe he ever physically cheated on me but he certainly has lead other girls on before. I have seen that myself. I would ask him about it and he would be sorry, delete all of them (the girls) from his phone and facebook, and even show me the “I don’t want to talk to you anymore” messages he would send them. I have tried a few times to talk to him, but he ignores my texts. It’s Little to no response most of the time. Something else that really bugs me about my situation, the girl he is with is the polar opposite of me. He always told me he liked me because I didn’t wear much makeup, or dye my hair, and was country classy. (lol) This girl wears tons of makeup, has flame red dyed hair (he hates dyed red hair, I was going to dye my hair the same color and he begged me not too) and is slightly less classy than I. I am so confused. I really love him, and he made us (me, my son, him) a family. I didn’t have a great childhood growing up, and family was not important. He gave us that feeling we had always wanted, a real family. I have given up trying to talk at this point….it’s only been a week and it is driving me insane. All my son and I want is for him to come home, we miss him and how he completed us. I feel like sometimes I need mental help because I have been a wreck since he left, and even a little more so since I found out he was seeing someone. I did everything I could for this guy. When I met him, he was depressed, didn’t have a license, or a car, lived with his parents, and never got to see his young daughter. (previous relationship) I felt like I was a positive influence on him. I helped him get a license, he moved in with me, he bought a car, he got somewhat happier, and I even helped him go through the court system to see his daughter. (he gets to see her every other friday now). So now I feel lost, like it was all in vain. I don’t want to move on from him because I love him so much, and I am afraid that I might miss out on something amazing. I have weighed the good and bad in my head and on paper and to me they are equal. So where do I go from here? I think you know what you’re talking about on your website and was hoping for some sound advice. I am going to attempt the 30 day NCR. I actually started 3 days ago, and boy is it hard. Like I said before, we just want him home. He means the world to us. Please help me if you can!! Thank you so much for this page!!

Oh and I downloaded the text your ex back pdf and I am beginning it tonight.

admin

August 13, 2013 at 3:18 am

Ah you downloaded TXB. It is a pretty good product and I learned a lot from it. However, it is kind of expensive that is my biggest issue with it. I am actually coming out with my own E-Book that I think is better than TXB (of course I am little biased) but I am going to make it a little more affordable for people than TXB so they don’t have to pay an arm and a leg just to get a quality product.

Lets see here, first off I think your bf maybe felt he wasn’t good enough for you. You see that a lot with guys who are worried about their gf’s cheating on them. It is one of those things where he thinks the girl is out of his league. I have the opposite reaction though, I would want to show my hot girlfriend off everywhere hahaha.

I can’t guarantee you anything b/c lets be honest here, we are dealing with an ex boyfriend and I can’t mind control him for you. However, I do believe if you think someone is worth it you will try everything before you throw in the towel!

What do you plan on doing to evolve during the NC?
Molly

August 13, 2013 at 3:45 am

I want to feel better first of all. This whole thing has literally made me sick, to the point of not eating well, losing weight and sleep. So I am going to try and be good to myself. Start eating better, and making sure I am healthy inside and out. I have alot of issues aside from him that need attention such as bills, finding a new, better paying job, and getting my son through the first 9 weeks of middle school. I also want to grow out of the somewhat weak person I have become. I let his insecurities about me being unfaithful bring me down. I want to correct that. I also hope to learn a little more about myself through the process of completing TXB. I can admit that maybe I wasn’t 100% there when I needed to be. I need to learn to communicate better. I know in my heart that was one of our downfalls. I don’t think that either one of us felt that we did enough of it when it mattered most. Thoughts?
admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:38 am

You know it is always tough being in a position like yours. However, I will say that I like your attitude and the way you are approaching things. I am proud of you (if that means anything!)
Molly

August 14, 2013 at 11:26 am

Thanks, it does mean something!! I have learned a lot already in completing the questions in the first few modules of txb. I was really out of touch thanks to social media. I really think I need a detox from it!! When you say position like mine do you mean the single mom angle? My story is so similar to Libby’s above. The beginning was almost the same, the texting, the being careful not to involve my son to quickly, the amazing feeling of feeling safe and secure, him telling me I was the best gf he has ever had and that no one had ever treated him this good. Do you think age has anything to do with it? He just turned 24 and I will be 32 this year. I have always thought that age was just a number, but then again, I have always been attracted to younger men. I don’t know why. I really want him to talk to me again, do you think eventually he will? I feel like if something stressful happens with the new girl, he will turn to me, because I am the last familiar thing he knew. That has been the case in the past. If he ever left and was gone for any length of time, he would get stressed doing whatever he was doing and then come back. I have always said people are creatures of habit, once you do something a certain way for so long you are not likely to change. His track record has proven it the last few times he left. Do you think that all of his changing for her is because it’s new, fresh and exciting? I know I ask a lot of questions, but in a way it’s a comfort to me to have a different perspective. Thank you Chris!! If I get to annoying, just tell me to stop! Haha
admin

August 15, 2013 at 3:03 am

Molly the problem with me is that I don’t tell anyone to stop hahaha.

You aren’t annoying me at all though. And yes I was talking about the single mom angle. Actually, I don’t know why but the most beautiful women I have met in my life were all single moms. Just a fun fact about me.

Some men use relationships like they are using a drug. They always want the freshness and newness to it. I think maybe your ex is doing that a little bit which is why he is changing for her. I am so happy you are getting something out of TXB.
Molly

August 12, 2013 at 8:00 pm

I didn’t mean to put the part in there about the sobbing gasping for breath tears, I was thinking of the day he left. He did that the day he left on the 16th, not the day he told me of the new relationship. He was actually sort of cold to me after he told me of the new relationship. Sometimes I can’t control my thoughts and my fingers on the keyboard. Sorry, I just didn’t want you to be confused!!!
admin

August 13, 2013 at 3:19 am

I got it no worries haha!

Fred

August 12, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Do you think he will get in contact with me

admin

August 13, 2013 at 3:09 am

I am not sure but I think eventually you two will talk!

mag

August 12, 2013 at 2:53 pm

Hi,
my boyfriend broke up with me after nine months of relationship full of love and harmony. He was fantasising about marriage and kids with me, telling me that I was the love of his life.
He was about to move in with me. We also had the date for that. So I was shocked as the very same day he told me he is not feeling like to move in with me. I suggested to take a couple of days break, allowing both of us think it over. We kept contact only via emails but it was not intense at all. We both acted kind and loving in the emails but he didn’t even respond to my last one. So after 5 days of getting no response I called him and suggested that we should meet. He agreed immediately.
When we met and I looked at him, for me it was obvious that he was about to finish our relationship. So I started the talk and told him, that based on the last days I can accept his decision if he wants to move on. I thanked him the 9 beautiful months. He started to cry and told me he fell out of love with me in the last weeks of our relationship and can not go on with me. He was gentle and loving during the breakup and he cried a lot about being such a fool of loosing me. I didn’t cry, I was kind of comforting him. He told me that he didn’t want to see any other girl for a long time because I was his one and only and now he messed it up. He even told me that he is going to go see a therapist (which I really think would be good for him). When he walked me to my car, he was kept on hugging me and couldn’t let me go…
So after this “romantic” breakup, I met him next week for collecting my stuff from his apartment. Until then I found out from foursquare that he might be seeing someone new since our breakup. When I went to his place to collect my stuff I asked him to make things clear for me so that I can move on easier. He told me he dated a girl he knew from long ago but it’s nothing serious. He didn’t want to talk more about it and I didn’t want to ask.
Once again we had a tearful, loving embrace when he walked me to my car.
In the next week we had skype conversations but not about us or the girl, only about how I was or he was doing. He was nice with me.
Then he disappeared for a week – later I found out he was on vacation. Since then we only met once at a party where he was working but the girl was not present. This was the first time that he acted rather cool and distant with me. He didn’t mention the girl at all.
After this I found out from his friends that he presented them this new girl only couple of days after our breakup and he was on romantic vacation with her only after 3 weeks. They were shocked cause everybody assumed we were pretty much in love. Not to mention that the girl seemed to them rather clingy, not pretty and several years older than him.
After all this I couldn’t resist and unfriended him on facebook. And I wrote an email to him about why I did that and how I felt (hurt) because of his new relationship looking suddenly pretty serious. I didn’t criticise the girl at all. I ended my e-mail with nice words about how I appreciated him being my loving partner for nine months and that I would always remember him with good memories.
He replied that he understands that I unfriended him. And he promised not to contact me either.
Simple, correct answer, no emotions. Since then I also heard that she is about to move in with him and for that he just repainted his apartment.

Until I found out that they went together on vacation, I was hoping that he might come back to me. But now I am confused. I still love him and now I started the NC rule as well.
What do you think: is it just a rebound or am I making a fool of myself?

admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:43 am

Wow, he is going to move in with a girl that fast after dating her?

Do you think he cheated on you during the relationship?

I think the NC is worth a try if you really want him back but I think with what he did to you he doesn’t deserve you back.
mag

August 15, 2013 at 12:17 am

Thanks for your answer!

well, I don’t think he has cheated on me because he spent plenty of time with me even in the last couple of weeks of our relationship. even if we spent a day separated, he called several times a day and we had also long, lovely talks in the evenings via skype. he acted like and also told me he missed me.
besides he always gave me full access to his devices (smartphone and laptop), although I never searched his messages or anything like that.
I would rather think he started to see this girl right after I suggested him to have a break to think things over. i know him: he is desperate to have someone to connect to and talk to when he has a problem – and since I made myself not available, and since I was the problem, he had to run and find someone else…

I’m not sure if they will move in together this soon, it might be just a gossip, but I know from a friend that he repainted his apartment and the girl spends lot of time at his place.

anyway, I think you are right that he doesn’t really deserve me. it’s just hard to accept for me that it’s all over. I’ll keep the NC on until it lasts, that’s for sure. it will help healing my heart and hopefully I can move on after all. but if I decide to give him another chance and he won’t contact me (which I assume), should I use TXB?
admin

August 15, 2013 at 3:48 am

TXB… I will be honest with you. If you are patient and can wait about 1 or 1 and a half weeks you can buy my ebook which will be cheaper and way better than TXB. I know I went into promotion mode there but honestly I am so proud of this thing and it will save you money!
marie

August 13, 2013 at 10:27 am

Ok so I went out with a boy from I was 18 until I was 23. We went travelling together and rarely fell out. We had a lovely relationship and never fell out. I broke up with him, almost on a whim. I was back at college and was really stressed with exams and felt I was neglecting him but the exams were more important. He deserved better.

A few days later he asked me back. I said no I didnt feel a spark. I didnt want to deal with it with exams coming up.

About a month later I went out and seen him. I thought “ive been so stupid”. I decided I was going to speak to him the next day and ask him back. Later that night he was with a girl. I text him the next day to say I was hurt. He apologised. We kept in touch on and off for the next two years.

During this time I dated a boy on and off. It was a very rocky relationship. I kept thinking of my ex. I always just thought we would get back together. From feb or March this year we got back in contact quite regularly. He contacted me one night to say he hadnt felt anything for anyone since we broke up. Could he come and visit. I said the boy I was dating wouldn’t be happy. He apologised and we continued to stay in touch. Shortly after the boy I was dating and I finished things completly. I didn’t tell my ex as I didnt want him to think things hadnt worked out and I had just went running back.

I wrote out a message a few times explaining I still had feelings but never sent it. I had an exam coming up and though ill wait until after my exam as ill be too distracted. (Silly exams)

The day after the exam he changed his relationship in fb to in a relationship. The following day I decided I had nothing to lose so text him and told him I still had feelings for him but understood he had a gf. I just wanted him to know. he said he was shocked but with this other girl. A couple of times that week he text me just asking how I was.

That weekend he went on a stag do and got drunk. He text me and said he still loved me and would always be there etc. But he had gf. The next day he text again to say he had been drunk and ignore his messages.

For a couple of weeks he kept in contact and was a little flirty but often reserved.

The gf went to a family wedding with him. (It is a long distance relationship). After this he said we had to cut all contact. Even with the distance they were determined to make it work. I was heart broken. I sent some desperate messages. Which obv pushed him away more.

He told me not to contact him. After a few weeks a mutual friend invited us both to the same party. I text him and said if he wanted to go I wouldn’t go but it was silly that we had been able to stay friends now we couldn’t talk at all.

About a week later he replyed and said he didn’t see what the issue was. We had just drifted. I said Thankyou for yourmessage but telling someone never to contact then again wasnt just drifting apart.

A few weeks later he text me to apologise for being harsh in what he had said and just ignoring me. I replyed and thanked him for his apology. I mentioned the boy I had been dating had been a really good friend to me. My ex replyed and said he didn’t want to know me and that he was going to leave me alone.

I didn’t understand why someone would apologise and do the same thing. My friend suggested it because I mentioned the boy I had dated.

I hadnt replyed to his message. So I wrote outa big long message saying I didn’t understand y he said sorry and then was mean. I said a friend suggested because I mentioned the other boy.

I told him if that was why he didn’t neef to be annoyed. The boy and I had a terrible relationship but had become good friends. We know our relationship wouldn’t work.

I also said he is the only man ive ever loved and the happiest times of my life were with him. I know we are over. He with new girl. But I wanted things left on good note. He just said ok its ended on a good note.

That night he text me again to say I wasn’t happy and I left him for this other boy. That it hadn’t worked and I went running back. This wasnt true. My ex and I broke up in November and I went on my first date with this boy in feb.

I just wrote back and said I didn’t want a conversation as I have exams coming up (I know I know) But this wasnt true. I just said good night.

Now what? I have thought about my ex every day for the past 2.5 yrs. Constantly for the past 6 months. I was able to close off and focus on exams when we broke up. I can’t now. Im def going to fail these exams coming up. I dint even care. Id give up all my exams to have him back.

Should I leave him to be happy with new girl? Hope it runs its course saying that it long distance? Hope it doesn’t work?

Im finding it really difficult to move on.

I think he still has feelings for me. That why he says we can’t be in contact. I think even if he didnt have gf I hurt him too much. He too proud to come back.

I always just thought things would work out. Im scared if I leave him completly he will be happy with new girl. Go off and marry her.

He already told me he would never love her the way he loved me but he wanted that because if she hurt him it wouldn’t be as bad as when I hurt him.

Is it better that I just leave him and let him be happy with his new (not so strong) love?!

Ill get by like. Time heals and so on. It just really hurts now…
admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:56 am

Wow, you have a lot of questions there. I want to answer them all but I don’t think I can.

Let me just say this, what is your ultimate goal? Do you want him back, do you want to get over him?
marie

August 15, 2013 at 2:38 am

I don’t know? Nc first? Then what?
admin

August 16, 2013 at 1:46 am

Hahaha then you are supposed to text him. Arggg… I need to get that ebook out soon b/c all the answers are in there and I can just point to it and say “read it and you will know what to do exactly!”
marie

August 14, 2013 at 9:32 pm

Ideally I want him back. I have loved him for 8 year’s. We were friends before this. So I miss his friendship too. If I really have to ill try very hard to get over him. But I don’t want to! I just want him back.

Oh additionally FYI: I just seen him today for first time in about three months. We were both walking into Church at the same time. I kept my head down and pretended I didn’t see him. He purposely went in a different, less convenient door 🙁
admin

August 15, 2013 at 3:41 am

Hahaha it is just an awkward situation. The fact that it is awkward means deep down he has feelings for you.
marie

August 14, 2013 at 5:41 am

Ideally I want him back. I have loved him for 8 year’s. We were friends before this. So I miss his friendship too. If I really have to ill try very hard to get over him. But I don’t want to! I just want him back.
admin

August 15, 2013 at 2:34 am

Ok, then lets do our best to get him back. What is your plan going forward?

Penny

August 12, 2013 at 2:15 pm

I was seeing my boyfriend for two and a half years. He is very insecure as a person, a lot of family troubles which he tries to block out….and seems to be very good at emotionally detaching from situations. He opened up to me and we were best friends. I helped him through surgery, did my best for his (step) family, helped his grandad and was in our relationship for the long term. We were very happy, in love – well from what he had said and also from my side.

The weekend before he broke up with me we went away for a trip which we laughed all the way through, were very touchy feely and just relaxed as always in each others company. He wasn’t feeling well so I looked after him, made dinner and we sat watched tv, holding hands, cuddling and chatting.

He was to go to a wedding two days later, a friend of his at football – partners weren’t invited as it was low key and I wished him a fab time and said I’d catch up with all his news the next again day.

I called him the afternoon after the wedding, he didn’t pick up…then I texted about 3 hours later, just saying hey, hope you had a fab time and something about popping upto the supermarket. To which I got the shock of my life getting a text dumping me…with no reason at all and the end line saying ‘best wishes for the future’. Felt like a piece of dirt.

I tried calling to which he didn’t answer, I then texted saying I really needed to speak with him and that it was unfair to send me a text after all we had been through. Eventually after pleading he came round 4 days later, for all of 10 mins. I asked him questions like – is there someone else..no, are you still ‘in’ love with me…yes, do you still find me attractive…yes. He said he didn’t want anything long term…after two and a half years I found that a bit strange. He then said we had no commitment…which I found hurtful considering the fact I would have done anything for him and also he would have done anything for me…I think he meant materialistically.

He left, I was upset, confused and to be honest down right hurt. 3 weeks later I see on social media he is ‘off to meet the parent’ hashtag under the thumb – he quoted…so i was raging to find out there was someone else and he just hadn’t told me. He met her at the wedding and I found out that she went to Uni with him a few years back.

This was all 5 months ago, ive had no contact – I saw him on the bus and was civil with him, but he didn’t know I knew about his new girl. Anyway I changed my profile pic a couple of weeks ago to a photo of me and my male cousin, (my boyf never met him as he lives abroad) before you know it straight after I changed my profile pic he’s got his new pic up there with this new girl…he obviously thinks i’ve moved on. I find it all quite sickening to be honest, especially at the way the break up was done. I always said if he fell out of love with me or found someone else just to tell me the truth as I have been lied to before and its so much more hurtful. I’m not sure why im writing this. Do you think he wants her meantime as its new and he doesn’t feel he has to commit? I want him back because he was the love of my life but I know in my heart I deserve better than for someone to end things like that. Anyone had anything like this before or can offer any advice?

admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:41 am

Well, the two pictures changing the same time aren’t a coincidence so he is definitely keeping his eye on you. The question I have is why he was afraid to put the pic up with his new girl and why did it take him this long if he was dating her for a while? I think there may be something to that.

He probably has feelings for you still somewhere inside but you need more than just feelings to get him back I am afraid.
Penny

August 13, 2013 at 5:53 am

Thank you for your reply. So because the NC has been for so long now, what do you think the best next step would be? I should probably mention he is 26 and I am 31 so I have left him as I thought he may think the grass is greener in the hope that it fizzles out after a while…maybe not though hey.
admin

August 14, 2013 at 1:43 am

I think you should work on connecting with him now. You have already waited long enough so why not try to get on good terms with him again.

Ayshath

August 12, 2013 at 9:32 am

Hi,
my ex and i broke up 2 years back. actually i broke up with him for falling on to some other guy. when he came to know that i was in a relationship, he tried in all the ways to get back with me.i couldn’t control my love for him, so i end up my current relation with the new guy and tried to get back with him. it’s almost a year since he has been trying but i asked him to give me some time to get over with the situation. but as days passed he didn’t understood my condition and eventually he started to be aggressive,he started to come to my home and shout in front of my parents and this lead to my parents not wanting me to be in a relationship with him. Still i loved him so much and so did he. i wanted him more day by day. it was almost a year since we were trying to get back.and after talking for a long time, one day he agreed to give me space to get everything back on track. we stopped talking, no messages nothing. gradually i set everything back with my family and they agreed. it took only two months for me to solve this problems. when i asked him to get back with our relationship, he said it’s TOO LATE! and said that he has moved on in his life. also said that he can’t anything good with me and don’t want to hurt me. also said that past is haunting him, so he’s afraid that it might repeat again. i begged him and promised that i won’t hurt him and that i’ll give my maximum to make him happy and make him forget the past. and assured him that i’ll love him with no limits… but still he says NO and says to live a happy life and not to waste my life for him… i’m heartbroken and hopeless… will he ever come back to me? i miss him so much and need him more than anything.. please help me

admin

August 13, 2013 at 2:32 am

Ok, I am worried that he may be perceiving you as desperate. Also, I know you said you two stopped talking but have you ever tried doing a NC for 30 days and then starting up again?

gerry

August 12, 2013 at 12:27 am

hi I was i 19 yrs relationship going so well .. few mths ago he told me an kids an family we split up a wk later it meet someone younger then him … is this a rebound .. Wat is my chances getting him bk .

admin

August 12, 2013 at 3:00 am

You were with someone for 19 years?

Wow, yea it could be a rebound.

Cookie Page

August 11, 2013 at 9:46 pm

Love this

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:49 am

Love you!

Monica

August 11, 2013 at 6:09 pm

my ex bf and i broke up 3yrs ago i will call him (B1) and while we were dating we cheated on each other,we lied, our communication was very poor…now during our break up we kept our distance. i got into a relationship for a 1 1/2 and he got into a relationship this year for 5 months now…before i broke up with recent ex bf i will call him (B2) i cheated on him with B1,we both cheated on our partners. i felt guilty and broke off our relationship and told him about the kiss….NOW B1 has some serious issues with his gf and he told me he wants to leave her but not because of me…he told me he wants me back in his life and i told him i want him back in my life too…so i told him to stay single for a while to see if he will still feel the same way about me but i want him back like now we both want a serious relationship this time, we dont want to rush things but also i am afraid that HISTORY might repeat its self…should i take him back NOW or should i WAIT? i hope im making sense…

i do the NCR cause i dont want to bother him and look desperate he is the one who contacts me…..i dont want to snatch him away from his girlfriend i feel like it won’t work for me…its not right….i hope i make sense….please help

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:41 am

Yea, you are right to not want to seem desperate and let HIM come to the decision to break up with his new gf.

As for history not repeating itself, the two of you need to do a better job of communicating and confront the issues you had in your first relationship.

Emma

August 11, 2013 at 4:35 pm

Too long to post, may I email?

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:35 am

Absolutely!

Fred

August 11, 2013 at 4:18 pm

What I cannot understand is that he emailed me last week has a new woman and its great .asking me to be his friend . And he would hate it if he never heard from me again.And he thought the world of me and too please please keep in touch with him. I have done the n c rule it’s been 7 days
Why if things are great with new woman does he want to be my friend
I want a life with him . I’m hurting badly
Please help

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:37 am

He cares for you and is scared to lose you.

Angi

August 11, 2013 at 3:08 pm

I wrote on here last week. I done NC twice before everytime he got distantly interested again, would come round mine and stuff. I changed my hair, that is when he got interested last. But now he has a new love interest. I am unsure what my next steps should be now?
Thank you for any help

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:32 am

Have you completed your NC again yet? If he has a new love interest then you are kind of in a holding pattern for a while.

Miniie

August 11, 2013 at 10:24 am

I still love my ex but last week we had a dispute when i asked him if he has a new gf ! he was angry
from that, we didn’t talk anymore ! it’s already one week
and i removed him on facebook !
i really want him back :/ what to do ? plz help

admin

August 12, 2013 at 2:26 am

I would say take a deep breath and don’t act on impulse. Implement a NC rule and read this site a lot cause I cover a ton of situations that you can implement.

Marina

August 11, 2013 at 1:15 am

Hi! I just wanted to say I think it’s amazing that you help people out so much. So I have a long complicated story like everyone else. Do you have an email I can contact you at? Thank you!

admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:29 am

Yes, that is a LOOOONG story hahahahahhahaha. 3,770 words. There are posts on this site that aren’t that long WELL DONE!

Fred

August 10, 2013 at 4:29 pm

Hi
How long should you keep up the no contact rule
I haven’t seen him since beginning of may when I pleaded with him to be with me. I have continued approx every nine days to start again and be with me. But he continually never answered my questions only replied saying I was bad news and accusing me of being with other men. I never and deep down he knew this. But he always replied instantly when I sent email. It was like he was waiting for them !
I love this man deeply just want a commited life with him
Please help
Fred

admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:18 am

30 days

Fred

August 10, 2013 at 9:44 am

Hello
Do you think he will contact me again

admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:07 am

I think you two will talk again, of that I am confident.

Emily

August 10, 2013 at 6:20 am

Hello. I have been reading this a few times but I feel like I should ask a question. Me and my boyfriend broke up a little over a month ago. He told me we are not so intimate and told me that he wanted to stay friends with me. While moving my stuff, I found a letter he wrote to one of his ex. He didn’t send it to her but he wrote a bunch of his feelings and all the good times he had with her and how he misses her. And I feel like that is the reason why he broke up with me. Oh well! we have (sadly) been texting each other pretty much every day(it’s not a long conversation though) and I’m planing to use the NCR. Will he still talk to me after a month if I suddenly don’t talk to him? and do you think I have a chance getting him back?

admin

August 11, 2013 at 3:03 am

You have a chance but like I tell everyone. That doesn’t mean you are guaranteed to get him back.

You two will talk after NC eventually. I wouldn’t worry too much about it to be honest.

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