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145 thoughts on “EBR 007: How To Make Him Regret Cheating”

  1. Aby

    October 16, 2015 at 11:48 am

    Chris, I think you write about what if you accused your boyfriend for cheating whilst he didn’t do anything and broke up with you because he was so mad of your trust issues…

    Thank youuuu

  2. trish

    May 22, 2015 at 4:08 am

    i hope you got my post…really needur hel…cox it might b too late

  3. trish

    May 22, 2015 at 4:06 am

    my boyfriend and i broke up three months ago because he cheated not just once but several times… we never had sex whiles we were dated ..i still want him back and i dont know why… he is on and off with me.. sometimes nice and other times not… he recently told me he still loves me but i doubt he still want me but i stil do.. i need help… coz its hard trying to forget him…

  4. Cece

    May 21, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I have been together with my bf for 7years. We started dating since high school and now both of us have graduated. He is 2 years older than me, he started working since a while and i ahve recently just graduated from my degree. We have been through many ups and downs and of course we grow old together. We both been to a long distance relationship during the university days and we make it through. I have seen him become someone successful from owning a car and house at own effort. We been through everything. We gt into the relationship seriously at the beginning of our relationship. We made promises not to leave each other and would gt marry someday. I gave him everything. Everything was great until one year ago he stop asking for sex, it was our weekly routine though. I thought he was stressed up so i didn’t confront him. He also avoiding intimacy with me although sometimes it seems like he purposely did that to intimidate me. Occasionally he still touch me intimately but no further than that. On and off he oftenly joke/ask me to move on. But he still cares me like how he used too. Recently, i am suspecting him seeing someone else which really makes me worry. I have become so clingy due to insecurity and i think i annoyed him..recently, whenever he is not working and he is not with me, he put his phone in flight mode so that i would not be able to reach him. I realise he did the same when he hang out with me too. Each time when he asked me to move on , i would ask if he really meant it and losing feelings towards me…he would then brush it off and talk about something else…it’s more like joke..or he was just saying it for fun.. i dont know if i am losing him.. But i can feel that he still love me. Perhaps, he is having difficulty to choose. Will he choose someone else over me? BY the way..i met his friends and family so i am sort of his official girlfriend and he even brought me to his new house to check out on the layout. What should i do to make him stay with me and stop finding the other girl? He is an attractive man which know how to flirt well.

    1. Cece

      July 21, 2015 at 6:42 pm

      I really need your help as thing got serious now… i need your help in assisting me to dissect my issue here. For the past two months since i first write to you..i have tried numerous trick in getting his attention and then i stop as i find them not helpful and dramatic.. so i stop the drama and try not to be clingy …eventually he would initiate to find me.. The thing here now is i think he is really cheating on me and he seems to be confuse of making choices. We have been less intimate action …but we still talks a lot..mostly he talks to me about all his daily happenings, major events, plans and sometimes seeking his advice for important decision…i am not surw if this is my advantage or the other girl have it too. Please help!!

    2. Cece

      July 20, 2015 at 3:27 am

      Chris, can u please help…it has been months waiting your reply to help

    3. Cece

      May 27, 2015 at 5:23 am

      I have got this mixed signals from him. Since we gt together 7 years ago..we message each other everyday day and night..until recently he is not that into messaging me..partly i think is because he is really busy and stress up with his job now. I tried to talk to him the other day and he said i need to grow up and be mature…i was wondering if this means i need to let go the relationship instead of keep asking whenever he asked me to move on. He is a guy that often likes to joke and intimidate me with all these thgs that i worry but somehow i have been taking it seriously after i suspecting him cheating. But, somehow he might not be cheating or perhaps he stop asking sex from me because he wanted to focus on his job so that we could have great future together? Although he is not really interested into messaging me now, but he still tells ne story about his work issues, money and future plans whenever he is in deep stress (currently).. is it appropriate for me to apply the NC rule? Because he needs my support now when he is stress up and need soneone to talk..if i apply the NC , would it makes him to find the other girl which he has been flirting with??i think she likes him but i am not sure bout him..but i knew he still has feelings with me

  5. Anonymous

    April 6, 2015 at 10:37 pm

    Hi Chris,

    How are you? I love your website and it was so helpful for me because I’ve used the NC rule before. Here’s the thing, I recently had found out that my boyfriend or ex was “apparently” dating another girl for a month. We’ve been arguing so much and at times I was wrong for causing and starting the arguments with him. I found this out because I went through his phone and I had a little feeling something was going on. I’ve contacted the female and that’s when she told me they were dating/seeing each other and what not. They did not have sex, she confirmed it. However, when I confronted to him, he told me how they were not dating repeatedly, they only went out for a drink, and they did not kiss but they were only texting and how he needed somebody to vent. He told me how he wanted attention and how I was not giving him any because we’ve been arguing. He did tell me about her but nothing in particular to this and she did confront to me how she knew him for a while just that they always lost contact and what not. However, she told me how he never mentioned he was in a relationship. We’ve been together for 2 years; and I’m so in-love with him and we’ve been through so much; it’s crazy. I’m just hurt and upset. Last time, I left him because of a lie he had told me and I forgave him and gave us another chance. I just need your opinion and advice for this.

  6. Lauren

    March 9, 2015 at 7:25 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My boyfriend and I were together for 7 years. he recently broke up with me because of fighting/differences and said he didn’t want things to end but they had to because our relationship was in a bad place, rather than work things through. We have been together for a long time and also did 4 years long distance so I can understand if he was “tired” in a way. I am very confused as well as he at times says he does really feel the relationship is over. He has always talked about a future with me kids, marriage and is very protective of me, he also said I was his dream girl. I have read your exboyfriend recovery pro guide and love it! I feel he takes me for granted and doesn’t feel he is ever going to loose me. At the moment neither of us are seeing other people and both are just focusing on our careers. I did a full 30 days no contact (it was the hardest things I have done) he contacted me throughout with small talk and admitted he missed me more than ever but I still haven’t had him make the effort to get me back. What should I do? should I friend zone him and start dating other guys? I don’t want o be taken for granted and want to be chased like he once did. I am calm and confident every time we talk now, I have been working out 5 days a week and dyed my hair for a visual change. What should I do next? What should I do make him recommit?

    Thanks, Lauren

    1. admin

      March 13, 2015 at 4:16 pm

      Did he actually cheat on you though?

    2. Lauren

      March 15, 2015 at 4:55 pm

      no there has been no cheating

    3. Lauren

      March 9, 2015 at 7:30 pm

      ** he doesn’t feel the relationship is over.

      also.. He also says that he feels he needs to ignore me at times as he doesn’t trust himself to talk to me or see me. I usually only reply if he texts me.

  7. katherine taylor

    March 1, 2015 at 12:56 am

    (sorry i posted in the wrong blog, please ignore the comment i posted in ep10. this was meant to be in this episode. i had two tabs on. sorry)
    hi chris! i listened to this podcast and it has been very helpful. however i am having a hard time tweaking the game plan for my situation. my boyfriend and i had our “honeymoon stage” where it was all sweet and heavenly in our relationship. after a while, he turned cold and this made me panic and worried because i was not sure if i said or did anything wrong. then eventually i caught him seeing this girl after a few months of him being cold. he told me he wanted to help this girl with her problems as she is someone with a lot of issues and has low self confidence. this is a little insulting because i was trying to be (and honestly, i was) the “ungettable girl” material and i am not someone to play “damsel.” however, i still stroke his ego and make him feel wanted. his actions could be described as hot and cold as well. when i had a serious talk about this with him, he told me he wanted time off about us but he says he still wanted us: just some time off. he did not tell me that the reason was this girl, but i feel that it is because he wants to try or have a go at her (not sexually but romantically.) just like sweaty betty(and i share the exact same sentiments as her with my boyfriend) i am not sure if i want to take him back, but i want to see some effort on his part and some remorse because at the moment, he thinks he is doing nothing wrong. and when we come back, i am worried that i might be his “fallback” in case things do not work out with this girl. what can you say about this, chris? and what advice can you give for tweaking my gameplan given the detail of “helping this girl with her problems out”?

    1. admin

      March 1, 2015 at 6:51 pm

      No problem Katherine…

      I did just approve that one though.

  8. Ji Eun

    February 25, 2015 at 9:26 am

    I have a question…

    If I become more TRUSTING, CARING, LOVING, and UNDERSTANDING to my boyfriend…..will it make him change his habit of flirting with other girls? What exactly should I do to stop him from flirting and looking around?

    1. admin

      February 25, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      No guarantee it will…

      What kind of flirting are we dealing with here?

    2. Ji Eun

      February 26, 2015 at 1:00 am

      When he is with his guy friends they go find some girls to flirt with. And also, on facebook he is chatting with bunch of girls and he is showing interest in them. He is very sweet to them…I don’t understand why. But he keeps on telling me that he loves me even if he’s flirting with other girls. He says he doesn’t take them seriously.

      So what should I do now?

    3. admin

      March 1, 2015 at 5:54 pm

      Has he ever phsycally cheated though?

    4. Hannah

      March 2, 2015 at 3:29 pm

      Physical? You mean like sex? I don’t think so… We still have great sex and he is not showing signs that he’s doing it with others. I’m a little confident about that.

      But he’s very sweet to other girls, and it hurts me. So what’s supposed to be my next step to stop him from flirting?

    5. admin

      March 2, 2015 at 10:13 pm

      Yes sex was what I was implying but I didn’t want to offend you or anything like that.

      I would have talk with him about it.

      Be very calm in your talk with him of course and just outline your fears. Be straight up with him.

    6. Han

      March 3, 2015 at 1:24 pm

      What if he says he still wants me in his life but doesn’t want to stop flirting with other girls…? Should I break up with him then?

    7. admin

      March 3, 2015 at 10:14 pm

      Umm… if I was in your position I would.

      But I am not saying you have to I am just telling you what I would do if I was in your shoes.

  9. Kristin

    February 24, 2015 at 6:59 pm

    Hi I need help my situation is my ex boyfriend has girlfriend. It has been 7 months since the breakup. We were on and off for 4 years each other’s first . He use to say even when we broke up ( for like 2 weeks) that when we got our stuff together he always thought it could work. Now he is with another girl he for a month went on one date and they are a couple she has me this friends and his mother. Apparently it is effortless with her. Something he didn’t have with me he could tell her everything. They have been together a month. She apparently is ok with him being friends with his ex because she has exes as friends and actually lives with one. He said that is something I was always jealous and stuff and because I was shocked and it’s not too soon he doesn’t know if we can be friends now. I then kept saying I m ok with it I’m relieved etc it’s all a
    Mess pleas please help. I learned from my mistakes he just hasn’t seen it. Time this girlfriend and time multiple break ups are not on my side my parents hate him my friends and they never want me to talk to him again please just please HELP!!!

    1. admin

      February 24, 2015 at 9:58 pm

      I believe you left me a voicemail.

      I will try to answer it as soon as I can!

    2. Kristin

      February 25, 2015 at 6:36 pm

      Please I really need a game plan and I need to know can I work with this? Last night he had a b day party and everyone was there and I wasn’t and they liked her…I feel like I’m losing him my friends everything please help me! I have anxiety I really really need your help.

    3. Kristin

      February 24, 2015 at 10:20 pm

      Thanks Chris

      It is truly a mess…and idk I m doing your program and text ex back. I have done nc with him before he doesn’t seem to care when I do …but after the nc I didn’t follow the program at all…I was so stupid …now I fear with the on and off situation and how I had made so many mistakes jn the relationship I have no chance…especially with this new girl…I’m afraid she will replace me ….I’m really scared and feel nuts…

    4. Kristin

      February 24, 2015 at 10:21 pm

      I feel like I have so many odds against me can you help me? Btw the new girlfriend of his lives with her ex

    5. admin

      February 25, 2015 at 9:22 pm

      Well, if the new girlfriend lives with her ex he isn’t going to like that at all…

      Thats going to be a catalyst for fights.

    6. Kristin

      February 25, 2015 at 10:34 pm

      I really know if I should even try? I know I haven’t do e the right things again sorry I just really really need your help please if you can please let me know if I hope. I really want to keep trying but it all seems hopeless so please let me know please

    7. admin

      March 1, 2015 at 5:54 pm

      Only if you really want him back you should.

    8. Kristin

      March 2, 2015 at 4:50 am

      Is it too late to try to get him back 6 months after our 4 year on and off relationship ended and he’s has a new girlfriend of a month?

    9. Kristin

      March 2, 2015 at 9:44 pm

      I’m not sure how I screwed up I just I think I sounded needy and desperate but my main concern is

      How long should I do nc?

      Do I have a chance?

      Is he in a rebound relationship ( we were together 4 years broken up 6 months and he just started dating her a mint ago)?

      How can I get personal game plan?

      Does he really not care?

      What can I do?

    10. Kristin

      March 3, 2015 at 3:15 am

      Also I kinda started agreeing with him about moving on and stuff becauseI want him in my life but he doesn’t seem to care less saying if it happens it happen. He is not trying yet not pushing me away…but apparently his new relationship is effortless did I my chances?

      I had gotten the text your ex back program and I followed the nc but I didn’t use the text I would text every so often how he was and then later I would ask constantly do be friends what do you think that did?

      He kept saying we will never ever get back together ( when I met him that Friday) I said you don’t have to keep saying that he said he feels like he has to…and he is so happy what can I do?

      Does he mean this?

      He did say that he doesn’t miss me he misses the times we had what does that mean?

      I cannot believe he can toss 4 years away and not care for me. I guess I wasn’t his first love and I guess I dont hold a special place

    11. admin

      March 3, 2015 at 9:55 pm

      Well you didn’t really follow the text your ex back program really closely if you kept breaking NC…

    12. Kristin

      March 2, 2015 at 9:45 pm

      Since we were on and off for 4 years and this is our longest breakup does this make it worse?

      How can I get him back?

    13. admin

      March 3, 2015 at 9:37 pm

      No it doesn’t make it worse.

      It just makes it the longest one so far.

      History kind of is on your side.

    14. admin

      March 2, 2015 at 9:43 pm

      No, its not going to be as easy as it would after the breakup though I will tell you that.

    15. Kristin

      March 3, 2015 at 10:10 pm

      But he keeps saying we are we are done never will happen so that’s very bad isn’t it?

      What do I do?

      I didn’t break nc he just seemed resistance this time to my contact after 30 days
      So how long should I do nc?

      What should I do after now that he has a girlfriend?

    16. Kristin

      March 1, 2015 at 6:04 pm

      Also this girl is 20 yrs old and he is 25 I’m 26 he said she is more mature then me and he just wants to move on.but he got me a Christmas gift to be friends. I need a game plan help. Since our breakup I have my own apartment new car and better job but this girl is better then me. Friends say he doesn’t want to see that I have changed.Does he really hate me? Does he really want to move on? Did he? What can I do to get him back?

    17. Kristin

      March 1, 2015 at 7:04 pm

      Please help answer those questions
      See above I need help

    18. admin

      March 2, 2015 at 9:19 pm

      Can you help me out and just ask the questions!

    19. Kristin

      March 1, 2015 at 9:23 pm

      I need a game a plan based in my situation

      Do I have a chance?

      Is this relationship a rebound ( we were together 4 years and it’s been 6 months since this breakup they have been together a month and after one date he introduced her to his family and friends they both each got out of a 4 yr relationship he hasn’t made this relationship FB official yet) ?

      We were on and off does that ruin my chances?

      How much nc should I do? I’ve done 30 before but after that I screw up with the texts but I would contact him after that and he would barely respond saying it was difficult for him to talk to me so he might expect now.
      Will it still work and how long should I do?

      Does he really mean he doesn’t care?

      Has he really moved on?
      He said he felt like he had to keep telling me we will never get back together

      He said he doesn’t miss me but misses our times together what does that mean?

      Do I have a shot?

      What can I do?

      He seemed so receptive in November but then December he got cold then I talked to him again in February and he said he wanted me in his life once we can both handle being friends then 2 weeks later I met him and he was so cold and he kept saying he wanted to move on and we will never get back together and how he can tell this new girl anything ( they we’re friends before abit) what do you think can I turn this around?

      I bought your e book but I’m not sure how long nc I should do and what texts to do I feel hopeless can you please please help me?

    20. admin

      March 2, 2015 at 9:27 pm

      Hmm… How did you screw up?

      Tell me the texts you used exactly?

    21. Kristin

      March 1, 2015 at 6:00 pm

      I do but I’ want him should I do 30 days or more? I’ve done 30 days of nc but screw up after. He said that when he told me about his new girl mutual friends say they think he is in a dark place not a huge fan of the girl. They think he doesn’t want to see I’ve grown up and they don’t get why he thinks they would ditch me they want to meet whoever I date if it get serious. How long of nc should I do? Is this new girl a rebound? It’s been 6 months since our breakup we were on and off for 4 years. Does the in and off make it worse? What should I do? Do I have a shot? Please answer thanks!

    22. Kristin

      February 25, 2015 at 9:32 pm

      Do I have a chance? Can you do a segment on on and off relationships? This is actually our first long term break up . He said be was fine with it …that unlike me she is jealous and stuff easy going I wish I can get him back and my family hates him can you help? Even if I have to pay for private coaching

    23. Kristin

      February 25, 2015 at 9:35 pm

      He said he doesn’t love me at all and now he knows it will never happen sorry I’m blowing up your news feed thing…is there hope can I do this? Our off and on was like 4 weeks max before and it was like 4 times. Now he seems so cold and he said this new girl is great . I’m panicking does he really not care like he saids he does.. It hurts him being with someone else

    24. admin

      March 1, 2015 at 5:53 pm

      When did he say that?

      When men say that its usually from a place of anger.

  10. Shannon

    February 24, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Okay awesome! Thanks so much!

    1. admin

      February 24, 2015 at 9:54 pm

      You are very welcome!

  11. Jess

    February 24, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Hi Chris
    I left a vm & sent an email about my situation.

    I hope you can help with this situation.
    You podcasts are great. It great self motivation also.

    Thank you chris

    1. Jess

      February 24, 2015 at 11:46 pm

      Sorry bout that
      It didn’t look like my first one went thru so I left a very brief reply again
      Lol…sorry about that
      I’m not always the most computer savy. Lol

    2. admin

      February 24, 2015 at 9:50 pm

      Again, I got it!


  12. Jess

    February 24, 2015 at 5:00 am

    Hi Chris

    I left you a voice message giving a very very brief summary of situation. I felt I wasn’t helping by giving you just a quick 90 sec low down to you so I emailed you a rather long and detailed email. Lol. I don’t think I signed my name to the email but when you read and hear my situation you’ll know they are meant to go together.
    Your podcasts are, if nothing else, great motivational casts. I’m not listening to them just cause of wanting my ex back but also to self help also. And when you hear my message you’ll understand better why that’s the case.
    I just wanted to say thank you for doing your blog and the podcasts
    Thank you

    1. admin

      February 24, 2015 at 9:43 pm

      I got your message and I plan on doing something with it this week some time. Maybe thursday!

    2. Jess

      February 24, 2015 at 11:43 pm

      Thanks Chris

      Any insight would be awesome

      Your help is much appreciated
      And your very motivational in a natural way

      Thank you

    3. admin

      February 25, 2015 at 9:25 pm

      Thanks Jess,

      I think I am going to do your question tomorrow.

    4. Jess

      February 26, 2015 at 12:00 am

      Thank you

  13. Shannon

    February 23, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    Hi Chris! I left a voicemail to you but maybe it was kind of unclear. My ex is in the army and just a month ago he told me he wanted to be with me and see me and when he was home for the weekend he didn’t see me. He told me that he needs to move on with his life and stuff like that. I’ve done no contact and I have texted him. He hasnt gotten back because he’s in the field and can’t use his phone. I think he’s scared to be with me because he’s going to be deployed in July. How can I get past that resistance without coming off desperate?

    1. admin

      February 23, 2015 at 8:38 pm

      Hi Shannon!

      I got your voice mail and have it saved to the computer.

      Hopefully I will be able to get it to the podcast sometime this week!

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