By Chris Seiter

Updated on July 25th, 2018

Something huge is happening.

For the first time ever, in addition to recording the audio for a podcast episode for you we are going to be recording these podcast episodes on video and posting them to our YouTube channel.

Pretty cool, right?

Check it out,

Video Of Episode 51 (He Broke Into My House?!?)

I’m really curious to see what you think of us doing this!

Personally I had a blast and I am hoping that this is something that you enjoy as well because it’s something that I want to do a lot more of.

So, if you would be so kind to let me know what you think of the podcast video in the comments that would be greatly appreciated.

But I think I have gone on my little rant a little too long. Let’s talk about what’s happening in today’s episode,

A Recap Of The Situation (Anonymous)

This is a strange episode because the woman (who wanted to remain anonymous) who is featured in this episode of the podcast had a situation that I hadn’t ever encountered before and you know me, I love challenges.

Anyways, part of the problem was that she didn’t ask me for any specific advice on her situation.

I believe her exact words were,

“I just don’t know what to think…”

But when she was telling me about her situation she said something that gave me an idea on a topic that I know a ton of you want to hear about, commitment.

Here’s a quick recap of her situation,

  • They broke up because they wanted different things out of life
  • She wanted to get married and he doesn’t know what he wants
  • They dated for a year and then broke up
  • It was a friendly breakup (hugging, kissing, crying)
  • Claims that he broke into her house to get a hoody and sweatpants
  • She wasn’t home and he left a note for her
  • Doesn’t know what to think of this

Important Things I Talk About In This Episode

  • Why he broke in…
  • A fear of confrontation
  • What to do going forward
  • How to get a man to commit to you
  • Interdependence Theory
I Want My Ex Back
Do You Have A Chance?

Important Links Mentioned In This Episode

Transcript Of This Episode

As always I have the transcript for you in PDF format!

Download The Transcript For Episode 51 Here

(BONUS) What Is Interdependence Theory?

This is such an important concept that I feel it warranted it’s own bonus section. The interdependence theory will give you some extreme insight into why human beings commit or break commitments.

Interdependence Theory: We commit to partners because we are dependent on that partner.

There are a total three factors that you need to look at with commitment via the interdependence theory,

  1. Satisfaction- The individual receives benefits with few costs
  2. Alternatives- The individual can’t get their needs met elsewhere
  3. Investment- The individual has a high amount of resources devoted to the partner

In other words, these three factors are what people consider when they are determining whether or not they want to commit or stay committed in a relationship.

This might be handy to know especially if you are dealing with an ex.

Just sayin..

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8 thoughts on “EBR 051: He Broke Into Her House?!?”

  1. NISHA

    July 29, 2016 at 6:51 am

    My name is Nisha. I have a very long question. My Ex is one year younger than me. I don’t wish to tell that he is my ex because I need him. I don’t want him to be my ex. My family is a very strict family. As soon as they came to know about our love as all Indian parents they started restricting and forced me to get married to the guy they see. Without asking they just arrange everything but somehow I stop it each time. But still they do the same and now they are doing it by blackmailing that they will commit suicide. My boyfriend first he was strongly fighting against my family. But now as he still didn’t get a good job and didn’t complete his arrears in his degree he got a negative feel that he can’t keep me happy. I tried so much to make him to come out of that negative feel. But he ended up telling “you don’t want to face all these bad situations because of me, just marry the guy your parents sees and be happy, but please don’t tell me that you got married to someone else”. But he said he can’t see me with someone else. I don’t know what to do. As I was so strong he wantedly made a breakup. Still he cares for me and he wanted me. Recently my health was so bad and when he came to know that he was really worried and he called me asking everything. He became really very tensed that he was not near to take care of me. Even few days before he messaged me which was very surprising telling that please take of your health and be happy. I tried all my ways I can. But due to his negative feeling he is not accepting. But he still has the wish to marry me to live happily life long. I don’t know what to do. Next month is his birthday in this same date Aug 28. I wish to be with him for his birthday. Even he wished the same. But he is not expressing it. But I can understand what all he feels with the way he behaves. He wants to be happy as usual but he is not ready to accept it. He always feels that he will end up hurting me. I want him back and I wish to marry him with my parents acceptance. But my parents are also so strong against our love. As I am not changing my mind they tortured me so much and they even took me to psychiatrist to somehow change my mind. But they didn’t succeed. Even now they have seen a guy for me to get married. This time I don’t know how to stop this and how to make my boyfriend normal. Please help me. I want him back. I don’t want to get married to anyone else. I want to be happy with him. I want to keep him also happy. Please please help me. And is there any way to convince my parents. I tried speaking with my parents openly what I feel. But it is of no use. They are behaving as typical Indian parents only.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 29, 2016 at 5:09 pm

      Hi Nisha,

      nobody can help you if you don’t help yourself and be responsible for your own life.. You have to make a decision and face the consequences.. We cannot control what others think.. you’re the only one who will be happy or will suffer in whatever happens in your life..
      Make a decision and face the consequences.. no matter who you ask help from, you’re the only one who will get married, not the person who you’re asking help from…

      Either you will face being married to somebody you don’t love, or you decide to move out of your parent’s house, talk to them sincerely that you don’t want to get married and then give them time to understand and forgive you someday.. and then find what makes you happy independently.. A man, is only an addition to your life.. he’s not the total source of your happiness..

      because if you can’t live without somebody that means you don’t love them, you just need them to feel loved because you’re not giving it to yourself..

      Do not let other’s control your happiness.. do not depend all of your happiness to one thing or one person…

      forcing your ex to go back to you just makes him more convinced that you’re needy..

  2. Laura

    July 26, 2016 at 2:38 am

    I been thru the same thing kinda I was in a 13 year toxic relationship he cheated and got someone else pregnant I broke up with him to him to leave (we have kids) after threatening to give my key back by getting police involve when i left my home he broke into my home twice and took my belongings not the kids i dont kno what to think about his actions but the fact its making me angry…. any advice

    1. Chris Seiter

      July 26, 2016 at 4:56 pm

      Did you report the break in to police?