Decoding Mixed Signals From Your Ex Boyfriend - Based On Real Life Scenarios

598 thoughts on “Decoding The Mixed Signals From Your Ex Boyfriend”

Anne

February 15, 2016 at 7:00 pm

My boyfriend broke up with my right around the holidays. I begged and pleaded with him before the breakup (when he was saying he wasn’t sure but thought maybe this was our only option since we were arguing a lot over petty things). Once he made his final decision I didn’t Beg, just accepted it for what it was. I started no contact a few days later but I would respond to him when he would reach out but kept the conversation as short as possible. Two weeks ago (a month after the breakup) we got together for dinner as we still have some money things shared together that needed to be figured out. He acted like he was so heartbroken that we were over. I reminded him that this could still be repaired but it needed work from both sides. A few days later I suggested a hang out, very casual. He told me he had a busy weekend planned but would let me know. Of course I didn’t hear from him and I never reached out to him afterwards. On valentines day, he texted me and wished me a happy valentines day and told me to look outside my door, he had left a gift with a card chocolate and cake.. I thanked him and he said he wanted me to know that he appreciates me. I asked him if he wanted to come over and have the cake with me to which he responded that he couldn’t but that we “will have many other cakes to share together”.. Im not really sure how to take his actions, I know for sure he wants to get back together but his pride is holding him back because he can’t hanfle us arguing. What steps should I be taking to make him see that we can fix things together and we don’t need to repeat the same mistakes from the past?

Anne

February 16, 2016 at 2:09 pm

And how long should I be doing that for? Before moving on to someone else or attempting some sort of effort to reconcile?
Because right now it does feel a little like I’m being strung along.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 17, 2016 at 7:53 am

Oh I can see he’s making an effort but give it another 2 weeks.. if you still feel like that.. decide whether to move on
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 8:19 am

Hi Anne,

Appreciate him but don’t push or reiterate to him to get back.. be open to listening and responding to his texts and calls

Teah

February 11, 2016 at 2:47 am

Hi, my ex boyfriend is giving me mixed signals. He broke up with 6 weeks ago and after the initial begging and pleading on my part for about 2 weeks, I then did no contact. I was able to stick to this for 2 weeks and then he texted me after 2 weeks to see how I was and asked if I had found someone else. I ignored this question and kept my replies short and polite. He left me for a girl he cheated on me with and she is pregnant. He is also now engaged to her after being pressured to by her family (it’s still embarrassing in our culture to be pregnant and un-wed) I shouldn’t have replied to his text but I did and he started saying he made a big mistake leaving me and he doesn’t know if he is going to marry this other girl. I didn’t tell him I want him back ( I do ) and kept my replies short. Our relationship was long distance (we are both in 2 different countries) and he knows I will be in his country next month. He is begging to see me and I told him it is not a good idea. I told him he needs to move on and concentrate on his upcoming wedding but he still wants to talk with me and is begging to meet me for lunch when I am there. I am so confused and don’t know what he wants. He told me he made a mistake leaving me, but hasn’t told me he wants me back and I haven’t told him I want him back either. The no contact period was so great for me coz it helped me to heal a lot and not feel so attached to him. Part of me hoped we still would get back together and I suppose I still do but I am so confused. My pride won’t let me tell him I want him back.
Jackie

February 10, 2016 at 4:55 pm

I’m curious to get some input from you. Almost 8 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. It was kind of ugly – he had misled me into thinking we were monogamous, when really he was sleeping around but claimed we had an open relationship. So I dumped him. by text, but invited him to talk, which we never did. He texted me a couple times to say he was sorry, and called me from his landline but didn’t say anything.

Last week, my ex-boyfriend PMed me on facebook the day before his open heart surgery, saying he missed our friendship, he thinks about me a lot, and was sorry for hurting me. I responded, saying I hoped the surgery went well. We then decided mutually it would be a good idea to talk over the phone – we live in different cities. No conversation yet, and we haven’t communicated since Sunday after messaging multiple times daily. I am curious about a number of things:

1. Did he contact me just out of guilt because he realized he could die on the table?
2. Did he ever intend to talk to me, or did he keep in contact because he was bored and act interested just to keep me responding?

I am aware he can’t predict how he will feel, recovering from such major surgery, and he is on heavy narcotics, but I’m afraid we’ll never get a chance to clear the air. Maybe it is obvious, but I still have feelings for him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 11:02 am

Open heart is a serious surgery… I don’t think you can get bored while waiting for it. But he must be nervouse. it’s a good chance he texted you because he’s afraid if something goes wrong, he can’t mend things

angela

February 7, 2016 at 8:52 pm

my ex boyfriend says he wants me to give him a second chance . the reason i left him is while i was living with him all things were wonderful for a while then all of a sudden he woulld be glued to his phone texting till early hrs of the morning and going out all day and most of the night this continued for several weeks and so i left after this some months later we became friends again i decided life was to short to argue to be honest i was lonely and missed him to plus i never understood what was going on . anyway we have been friends again now for about 8 months seeing each other most days going placing together and enjoying each others compay then he asked for a second chance im reluctant as recently found out he as been texting another woman if i ask questions he becomes defensive i dont know what to do and also the times spent together now have deminished he seems to put everyone and everything else first im so confused please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2016 at 6:21 am

HI Angela,

You’re confused because you want him back too but of course it has to be exclusive. Well, if he asks again, you have to him nicely, that you’ve heard rumors and since you don’t know they’re true or not, you’d prefer to be more secure and you’re not comfortable knowing he’s texting other girls. If he really wants to be back with you, he needs to prove that you are exclusive.
If he doesn’t make an effort after that, that means he’s not that serious.

Steph

February 7, 2016 at 2:50 am

Kakistos comes from Greek mythology but since you’re a Buffy addict I’ll assume you mean the vampire 🙂

Chris Seiter

February 8, 2016 at 6:50 pm

You got it Steph!

Unfortunately you weren’t the first person to guess it. Your actually about a year late. But maybe we can work something out for you:)
Steph

February 8, 2016 at 5:10 pm

Lol thank you
Steph

February 7, 2016 at 11:58 pm

If you’re wondering why I left that comment, Chris promised a free copy of his book to the first person to explained the Kakistos reference
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2016 at 9:29 am

🙂 I’ll remind him of it

Seemee

February 5, 2016 at 11:12 pm

My Long Distance boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me exactly 8 weeks ago (Dec 5th). He was not very clear in the last Whatsapp text – “Remember one thing in the world. I respect you more than my dreams and desires. Period.” So I in my mind read it as he would give in to my wishes (He had wanted to explore kinky sex and I freaked out). The next day, all was silent b/w us. Then the next day, I sent him my usual Good morning text and heard nothing back (since it was Whatsapp, I knew by the blue checks that he had read it immediately). I waited all day and then the next day I sent him a Bitmoji emoticon with a barrel full of heats and said my heart was in a million pieces. I followed it by a text saying that we should discuss things on merit and not walk away in answer, can we talk? and I called him twice during the day and he read the messages but did not answer the phone. So, I smacked my head and then understood that he had dumped me. I had read enough online by now, to know to start No Contact. Sure enough, Jan 19th, ie 6 weeks later, he sends me a text on whatsapp AND my regular Verizon text (so I think he wanted to make sure I get the message in case I had blocked him off on one or the other), saying: ” Congrats on your promotion. I hope I got the correct news. I hope all is going well with you. I wish you all the best in life”. (He knew I was waiting for my promotion, and he is on my Linkedin profile as a connection and probably saw the notification – I ended up removing him from my connections there after that). I waited 24 hrs and only replied back: “Thanks”. (I was tempted to ask him how he and his kids were, but I decided after reading about No Contact that I would keep it minimum, as he had not offerred to talk) Now it has been 18 days since I sent that. Was this a mixed message? Testing the waters? I don’t think I should contact him – he needs to know that I am an “ungettable girl” that he now has to work for – I never begged, or harrassed him or was rude to him after those last couple of polite texts requesting a conversation that he ignored. Why is he keeping an eye on my career when he has dumped me, and not offered to talk, which is what I had requested in my last text. Advise please.
Seemee

February 5, 2016 at 11:02 pm

My Long Distance boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me exactly 8 weeks ago (Dec 5th). He was not very clear in the last Whatsapp text – “Remember one thing in the world. I respect you more than my dreams and desires. Period.” So I in my mind read it as he would give in to my wishes (He had wanted to explore kinky sex and I freaked out). The next day, all was silent b/w us. Then the next day, I sent him my usual Good morning text and heard nothing back (since it was Whatsapp, I knew by the blue checks that he had read it immediately). I waited all day and then the next day I sent him a Bitmoji emoticon with a barrel full of heats and said my heart was in a million pieces. I followed it by a text saying that we should discuss things on merit and not walk away in answer, can we talk? and I called him twice during the day and he read the messages but did not answer the phone. So, I smacked my head and then understood that he had dumped me. I had read enough online by now, to know to start No Contact. Sure enough, Jan 19th, ie 6 weeks later, he sends me a text on whatsapp AND my regular Verizon text (so I think he wanted to make sure I get the message in case I had blocked him off on one or the other), saying: ” Congrats on your promotion. I hope I got the correct news. I hope all is going well with you. I wish you all the best in life”. (He knew I was waiting for my promotion, and he is on my Linkedin profile as a connection and probably saw the notification – I ended up removing him from my connections there after that). I waited 24 hrs and only replied back:”Thanks”. Now it has been 18 days since I sent that. Was this a mixed message? Testing the waters? I don’t think I should contact him – he needs to know that I am an “ungettable girl” that he now has to work for – I never begged, harrassed him after those last couple of polite texts requesting a conversation that he ignored. Why keep an eye on my career when you have dumped me, and no offer to talk, which is what I had requested in my last text. Advise please.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 6, 2016 at 1:04 pm

Hi Seemee,
Yeah it looks like he’s testing the waters. You’re no longer in no contact period now right?

SB

January 30, 2016 at 7:20 pm

Hi
I could really use some help to decode this mixed signal given by my ex where there another girl X who is studying with him (and i think he cheated on me with her and that’s why broke up, but i’m not sure) and we are currently in 2 different continents for the past whole year:
“I like her, but i’m not making a move on her.
I don’t like her as much as i liked you.
I like her cause she is a party animal but i’m not gonna ask her out or go out with her.
I don’t like her the love way and you won’t be replaced.
I was always there when she needed me and she was there when i needed her.
But we spend hours with each other every day. I teach her how to play the guitar and she is teaching me spanish.”

He said all this and broke up with me the very same moment and never messaged after that.
Please help

SB

January 31, 2016 at 6:06 pm

He even deleted all our pictures that were saved in a shared folder on google drive and they were the only copy of them. I just feel that he doesn’t need me anymore.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2016 at 9:53 am

well, You can text him at the 31st day. Right after the 30 day nc period but if you’re not comfortable yet, it’s OK to extend.
SB

January 31, 2016 at 6:00 pm

Our only mode of communication is whatsapp messaging and to be honest, we hadn’t spoken properly for 3 weeks so i was extra careful and sweet during this conversation. And after breaking up and during the nc i have received only 1 mail and no other message or mail from him. I don’t know what i should do. Should i wait a little longer after the 30 day period or text him 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2016 at 4:25 am

What if he was telling the truth, Could it be that he broke up because he felt annoyed?

WTH

January 17, 2016 at 12:07 am

I’ll try to make this short:
-26 days post break up, nc from day 1
-few days in he liked a fb pic
-couple days before 3 week mark sends “hope all is well” text, I respond “I’m great, thank you” he send one more and I never respond.
-4 days later he texts again saying he misses our friendship, maybe we weren’t meant be to be, etc. I responded short but polite 1-1 for a few messages and dropped out. And hour later he came back for more convo I dropped out again after a few messages.
-next morning I get a “good morning” I waited a couple hours and responded the same back. He comes back with “can I take you to the movies soon?” And every time I dropped out for a good amount of time he’d come up with something else to talk about or to update me on what’s going on with him.
-I finally agreed to a movie for tonight and last night he was all over fb checking into different bars (he hardly ever posts and never checks in places) as if to make me jealous. I signed out until this afternoon and he deleted them at some point.

I’m actually in a good place, I’m not trying to get him back, I wasn’t bothered by the bars, more so confused on why he’s trying to make me jealous and where all the texts and such are coming from when he says differently.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2016 at 4:50 am

Hi WTH,
You’re doing great on your ways with him, definitely got you reconnected again. In regards of why he tries to make you jealous, sometimes it’s a way to know how you will react to that.

Tori

December 29, 2015 at 6:55 pm

Hi!

Thank you for this website, I absolutely love it, wish I found it sooner. I was dating this guy for a few months, he was always more serious and committing more than I was and then he ended it. He lives 4 hours away which although manageable, for starting a relationship it was difficult for 2 people getting out of bad relationships and extremely busy lives. He went back and forth for a few days and made it extremely clear that he wasn’t using the distance as a cop out. We got into a fight about it because I didn’t believe him, he said it was getting too difficult but he still likes me and it just isn’t fair for either of us right now especially with no foundation. He said he can’t be friends because he needs time but then also said he needs time to think about everything. We talked several times in the days following and he continued to go back and forth about everything. In the weeks and months following, talking became less frequent and then he asked me to breakfast because he was going to be in town for the day. It went great, but we didn’t mention anything about the relationship. He was ecstatic to find out I was no longer going to be moving to Boston like we had been discussing before the break-up and he cleared the air that he would be moving up near where I live in May. After breakfast went well I felt like I could talk to him again, he became shorter than he was before breakfast. After two attempts to make small talk I gave him 5 weeks of zero contact. I texted him today a picture of his doppleganger and tried to make a few jokes with him, he soon got short and I ended the conversation like you suggest. The mixed messages are just really getting confusing and with him moving towards me in less than 5 months and with him never really closing the door I am not sure where it leaves us or what I should be doing. Sending out an SOS to the experts!

Thank you!
marie

December 10, 2015 at 5:07 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago because we had a big fight the day before because he thought i was being jealous which was notmally the case. Any ways the next day he said he wanted to talk face to face just because he wanted to se my face and so he left me i tried to explain everything but he wouldnt listen he wasnt himself. So we broke up. Yesterday we started talking because he knows im willing to fix my mistakes but he said he still loves me a lot and misses me because we used to spend every day together. So i said we should give it one last chance to fix everything because he is worth fighting for but he didnt sound very convinced because he wanted me to feel comfortable but the thing is i feel comfortable when i am with him. So he ended up saying that his decision was final and blocked me on everything. But he knows i have his stuff but he still hasnt asked for it back. What can i do is it worth it to keep fighting or should i let him go.
kate

November 11, 2015 at 8:54 am

Hi Chris i really hope you can help me. I will try to keep it short im so confused

Me and my ex broke up just over 2 months ago. We have a baby together. He was great until a couple of months near the end of our relationship when he kept going out drinking alot and after multiple chats and me going to my parents it got too much and i asked him to leave thinking he would realise what he had. We were ok after the break up at first then had 2 major arguments and he said he didnt think we could move on from what had happened. We was ok for a couple of weeks then he started asking me to go for coffee or into town with him and our baby and even stayed late one night after the baby was in bed and ordered chinese. Couple of days later he told me he was seeing someone hadnt been going on for long. Turns out it was a booty call. I gave him the rest of his stuff that week and for 2 or 3 weeks he changed was a complete idiot we was arguing and just attacking each other verbally. I wasnt happy that he always smelt of booze when he picked our child up and would spend his time with him sitting in a pub drinking. He broke down after one time and spoke to his sister (id already voiced my concerns to his mum as hes had alot to deal with in the past and uses alcohol to block it out) since then (just over a week) hes started being how he was at the beginning of the break up again. Mucks about with me jokes around. I said i was going out this weekend and he asked me 3 times where i was going then tried to convince me to go to his work place as he works in a club. Wy is he so bothered? He told my son whos 9months old so wouldnt understand whatever guy mummy is with u call d***head. When i contact him about our son hes started to just randomly chat about rubbish really like hes trying to keep a conversation going and the other day stayed over an hour after our son was in bed made himself some food and was laying on the sofa watching a film i had on. He didnt stay till the end of the film and his flat mate was at home so werent like it was for company so why stay? I dont know if hes rethinking after his chat with his sister or if hes just wanting to make things easier. He saw me in town with my mum said hello and that was it as he was with his brother and a friend it felt really awkward why be different when were out? We went shopping the day before together so people could of seen us. What does he want? Thanks in advance for any help

kate

November 11, 2015 at 8:57 am

Also when we argued he kept bringing up about me kicking him out and i need to move on because he has. He still has stuff in his name registered at my house and isnt in a rush to sort it

Kait

November 10, 2015 at 3:52 pm

Hi Chris, I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasn’t wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me 3 days after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things aren’t the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesn’t feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? I did the NC rule once before and it got him back and about two weeks later he said he missed me, but do you think it’ll work a second time? Please help, I really don’t know what to do!
LOST

November 5, 2015 at 12:41 am

Hi Chris,

So… my ex boyfriend is giving me a LOT of mixed signals. We started hanging out a couple of times over the past 3 weeks.
I followed your advice and I did the 1 month no contact. Tried contacting him got no response until a week later.
Week 1:
He wanted to meet up to study together and we did twice that week. He was nice and flirty and whenever past stuff about our relationship was brought up, it was nothing but fun/good memories together. Then the weekend came and he invited me over to study and watch walking dead together. He was flirty, pinched my butt at one point… but nothing too much.
Week 2
Then we studied together again once the next week. We had made plans on that same weekend to hang out to go out together on Halloween and the time I wanted to leave changed because my friends weren’t ready. After 20 min drive to my side of town he decided he wanted to go back home and wait for the 2 hours until the event started that we were going to … after 2 hours I asked if he was still coming and he texted “Raincheck on dancing”. We had also made plans to go to church together the next day and he made it sound as if I was no longer invited and that if I went he’d just “see me there”. Then Sunday morning he texted me and said “Raincheck on church” <—- which is weird to say anyways because he had "uninvited me" the night before.

Then Monday night I invited him to go dancing with me. He came. We had so much fun. I made him laugh until his sides hurt, he held my hand, pumped my gas, paid for the parking garage ticket, and at one point he was like let's go back to my place and we can dance some more there. He even said that he was pretty sure there was another thing going on on Wednesday and that he wanted to go again.

Well tonight after I texted to ask if he was still coming, he texted me and said "cant make it tonight … behind today"…

I texted him and said, "I have some news I want to share with you/ get your opinion on! (: and asked if he still had time to meet up for a little." Even if he didn't have time to go dancing.

He said, "I have to fly out to D.C. and pack still tonight. Can call you tomorrow morning."

I told him he didn't have to call… we can just talk some other time…

So in your article you're saying he doesn't think he has the potential to "re-fall in love with me again"? based upon these actions…. Because we had so much fun the night we hung out… and then he pulls back… I am just so confused…

What would you suggest I do? I see your suggestion about becoming an "ungettable girl" but I feel that's the reason why he agreed to go dancing with me in the first place…!? So I really don't know what to do…. ??? Please help. I know you can't know anything for "CERTAIN"… but any advice would be so appreciated. It's hard hanging out with him and having such a great time and then he turns distant on me ….?
(Please don't answer asking a question as I see you have done before…)
Jbear

November 4, 2015 at 4:45 pm

Hi Chris,

Your website is so helpful! I keep coming back to it for reassurance as I go through an insane situation. I’ve been having a very on again, off again relationship with a man I met about 4 months ago. At the beginning, he made it clear he wasn’t seeing anyone else (nor was I) and he talked as though we were in a relationship. We ended up having a fight early on and breaking up, but we never stopped being in contact. The longest we’ve gone without communicating either in person or via text or social media is five days. After a month of not seeing each other in person, we finally got back together. My problem is this…he is very unclear about how he feels. We had one date back in June and he relentlessly chased me until we finally started seeing each other in September. When I ask him to tell me what he wants or how he feels, he disappears for a few days and then starts texting me out of the blue or commenting on everything I do on social media but not addressing the question of what he wants. He never makes direct plans with me but will hint about when he’s free, and if I take the bait, he’ll invite me over. I guarantee this man is NOT a player. He really isn’t dating anyone else. He’s a very talented musician and is confident about his career, but as a person, he suffers from low self-esteem. Whenever I compliment him, he clams up. I’m definitely a “heart on my sleeve” kind of girl, so I told him I was falling for him and need clarity. His answer was to ask me to play a duo gig with him. That’s kind of a big deal for him since he doesn’t usually work with anyone other than his own band, and we’ve never worked together before. Last night, he and I commented back and forth on my Facebook status for over an hour, and he made me laugh which he knows I love. He has expressed being incredibly nervous around me, but I feel like now that we’ve been seeing each other and have been intimate, he should relax. Help!
Heather

October 11, 2015 at 2:29 pm

Dear Chris,
Loved your article, thank you! My boyfriend broke up with me because I went in the extra bedroom to sleep because of his snoring. I had done it one time before and he had warned me not to do it again and to just wake him up. But when I kept waking him up I started feeling bad about it and I could not get sleep myself. So, I went to the other bed. When he woke and I was not in bed he blew up and left. He text me the next it was over between us. And when I tried texting him back to make amends he called me a stalker and blocked my number? I only wanted to explain and was not stalking him. Had I really broken such a bad relationship rule??

Thank you.

Chris Seiter

October 13, 2015 at 12:06 am

Thanks.

What was in that text that made him call you a stalker?

Savannah

October 11, 2015 at 7:03 am

So my ex is also my baby daddy he pulled the whole maybe I’m the future well get back together and is now dating a girl but has already cheated on her once with me and whenever me and him
Hang out he finds the easiest ways to touch my mostly by messing around and hitting me I’m just so confused on if I should completely friend zone him or not ???!!!!!
Madeline

October 7, 2015 at 1:31 am

Also- The ex and I dated six years ago, when I was 22 and he was 28. We lived in the same city, our hometown. It was amicable but he’s been a little jealous of my bf’s. I got married two years later and soon had my twins. I’m now 28, he’s 34.

Thanks Chris!
Madeline

October 7, 2015 at 12:39 am

Hey Chris! I started reading this site in Fall 2013 during a devastating breakup (nice to know you’ve found your pretty wife since then- good karma!) in which I was feeling very lost. Since then, that ex is basically a stalker and I’m beyond healed! Thanks!

So, an ex and I had a long distance thing that wasn’t yet exclusive (that was my decision, I hate ldr’s). He’s my favorite ex, my dream guy. So he started up a casual relationship with a pretty girl where he lives (NYC, I’m in Cinci) but I told him I love him and his relationship ended within two weeks. I’m still not sure who dumped who but I know it involved jealousy on her part….

I was hurt by the info (I was only vaguely aware he was dating at all) but he definitely felt more guilty for hurting me…. Publicly even. So, for months he kept hinting to me his feelings but I ignored him, started up a thing with an old high school pal who’s now an Ivy League med student. Now my ex is telling me (rather than hinting) publicly and privately that he wants to marry me, stepfather my two kids. I’m confused but he’s a very nice person so I kinda believe him. Ivy-HS guy is pissed but I love the ex in question.

Is he playing with me? He’s very religious, always been sweet and available to me, and we’ve never had sex. It’s been six months since his breakup.

Two years and two broken hearts! Help me out, Chris!

Chris Seiter

October 11, 2015 at 7:15 am

The site has had an overhaul too.

I hesitate to say he is playing you. I think he just doesn’t know what he wants at this stage.

C

October 3, 2015 at 4:40 am

what do i do if he doesn’t want a relationship now, but “who knows what will happen, now im not ready at this point in time” and wants to be friends. but friends do not flirt or act keen.

I think some girl likes him and has been getting close with him again as a friend… but yeah i feel threaten.. they were friends before and he didn’t ask her out because he wasn’t interested. so why now right? not sure… it’s a worry.

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