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132 thoughts on ““Can I Text My Ex On His Birthday?” Let’s End This Discussion Right Now”

  1. Avatar

    Samira

    April 17, 2020 at 5:32 am

    Perfect:)
    Thank you❤

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 17, 2020 at 3:03 pm

      Thanks Samira 🙂

  2. Avatar

    Christina

    April 12, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    My ex and I were in an ldr for four months and in the last month, we decided to go on a break. I reached out after the break was over to try and talk things out, but he didn’t respond. I went into NC and it has been about two months. His birthday is coming up soon and I want to wish him well, except I’m not sure how he would react since he ghosted me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 17, 2020 at 10:03 pm

      Hi Christina, we do not suggest sending a birthday message if you are trying to get him back and following this program

  3. Avatar

    Teresa

    April 5, 2020 at 1:02 pm

    My ex and I broke up and we were in talking terms when suddenly he stopped talking to me because he found someone else who is a wife material and he thought I was too young and he didn’t love me. He didn’t wish me on my birthday. I was stupid that I reached out to him after a month and he was just giving me sympathy. I stopped talking to him. It’s been 3 months since he found someone else and a month since I reached out to him last .It’s birthday in 20 days. I think he has moved on way ahead and i am just still thinking about him. Should I wish him

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 10, 2020 at 12:26 am

      Hi Teresa no do not reach out unless you are trying to get him back

  4. Avatar

    Richard Burch

    April 4, 2020 at 10:15 pm

    My ex broke up with me in October. We tried to remaining friends for awhile. I still have feelings for her, she expressed she didn’t. I couldn’t stand seeing her with other guys, so I decided things have to change. We unfriended each other on all social media.We stopped talking on Thanksgiving, and she contacted me wishing a Merry Christmas. We haven’t spoken since then. Her birthday is on May 3rd. I’ve been debating whether to wish her happy birthday. I really love and care about this girl deeply. When we first broke up, I really did want to try and be friends, but it just hurt too much seeing her interested in other people. I figured maybe we just stop talking for awhile and try to be friends later when I don’t have those feelings for her. But when she contacted on Christmas, I suggested that we dont contact each other ever again at all. It hurt me doing that, and it probably hurt her too, but I thought it was best if I wanted to get her back eventually or just getting over her. I still haven’t lost feelings, but I’m ok with us being broken up and I’m ok with myself. I just can’t see myself without her in my life, for the rest of my life. That’s as a friend or girlfriend. I know the risk of wishing her a happy birthday and breaking no contact. I want her back as my girlfriend, but at the same time, I’d rather be friends and be in her life than never seeing or talking to her ever again. What do you think I should do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 9, 2020 at 10:44 pm

      Hi Richard, stick with the NC and do not reach out over the birthday, if you end up just being friends, or getting back together that is not going to be determined by you sending a birthday message, truthfully. It has more of an impact where she spends time wondering why you didnt reach out to her, which makes her think about you, which is the goal during NC

  5. Avatar

    Sam

    April 3, 2020 at 6:46 am

    My ex(dumper) birthday is on april 11. Should i great her. I feel I dont have an obligation to message her since she dumped me. She dont even reply on my last message last march 31. I mean what for? I mean yes I wish her a happy birthday, but I feel that it wont make me feel good afterwards..

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 3, 2020 at 4:26 pm

      No, do not send a birthday message

  6. Avatar

    Ameena

    April 1, 2020 at 10:44 am

    I forgot to wish my boyfriend and he is very angry with me what should I do ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 2, 2020 at 4:09 pm

      Hi Ameena, apologise and suggest you go out for a belated birthday celebration – this is giving that you are in a relationship and not broken up. If you were already broken up then just go about it as normal as you are not supposed to reach out on their Birthdays during a No Contact period 🙂

  7. Avatar

    marya

    March 12, 2020 at 4:42 pm

    hi! i ended things 2 month ago with him, one week after the break up was my birthday and he didn’t wish me happy birthday , 4 weeks after break up my grandfather died and he reached out for condolence and he was nice and kind, now 3 weeks after that and 3 weeks in no contact next week is his birthday should i wish him happy birthday? i know it makes him happy( also i want him back)

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 12, 2020 at 11:23 pm

      Hi Marya, so you do not reach out with a birthday message, you can get into the texting phase but make sure you understand the texting phase and the value chain. Read more articles so you understand how this process works better

  8. Avatar

    Unknown

    March 5, 2020 at 6:33 pm

    Hi there,
    I broke up with my boyfirebd and we had a long distant relationship for long period of time. However, We ended it in good manners. Actually I was the one who ended it. We haven’t spoke for a month now and his birthday is after 1 week. Should I text him with birthday wishes???

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 9, 2020 at 8:32 pm

      Hey there, if you do not want your ex back then you can send a message, if you want him back then no do not reach out for the first time for his birthday

  9. Avatar

    Armah

    February 19, 2020 at 10:46 pm

    Have dated my guy for 4 years now , he broked up with me just last year November just because he thinks am not a wife material but next month is his birthday should I wish him happy birthday for him to know how much I care or I shouldn’t and there is NC too.
    Please I need your opinion

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 20, 2020 at 10:52 pm

      Hey there no do not wish him a happy birthday stick to NC

  10. Avatar

    Noemi

    December 11, 2019 at 11:50 pm

    Hello the father of my 2 month child broke up with me 6 days ago I have contact him but he just keeps telling me that he doesn’t want to talk to me to keep it only about the child, tomorrow is he’s bday I only have one day of no contact , today but I’m thinking if I should or shouldn’t message him just wishing him a happy birthday, he mentioned that he was going to contact me to see he’s child on that day . What should I do ? Should I just ignore he’s bday completely or just say happy birthday.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 15, 2019 at 6:56 pm

      Hi Noemi, so you should allow your ex the space so that he has time to miss you and just allow him access to your child when you have both agreed to it. I am hoping that you didnt reach out to him on his birthday so that he can see that you are giving him the space that he said he wants from you

  11. Avatar

    yash

    November 24, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    Hi
    So my boyfriend stopped speaking to me like two months ago. There was a whole misunderstanding that happened. He ended up telling me to stay away from him despite doing nothing to him. I don’t even know what we are at the moment. I deleted his number but he still has mine. It was his birthday two days ago but I didn’t wish him. Im not even sure if he cares that i didn’t wish him. What should I do? I really miss and love him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 24, 2019 at 6:15 pm

      It sounds like you are broken up so I would start reading the information and prepare yourself to reach out to get some sort of friendly conversation started with your ex agian

  12. Avatar

    Natasa

    November 11, 2019 at 10:46 pm

    Hello !me and my boyfriend were together for almost 4 years ..he broke up with me 3 and a half months ago ,we did not contact for a month or so and after that i contacted him several times in order to get back together but he told me that he didn’t want to get back together or be in a relationship generally , because he got tired .A week ago was my birthday and he texted me happy birthday..now his birthday is coming up in 3 days ,should i text him or not ?

  13. Avatar

    Lover

    November 4, 2019 at 4:59 pm

    Today is my ex’s birthday. We broke up one week after sharing a really wonderful 4 year anniversary together. We’ve never been on-off or experienced anything like this before. There was no big fight or bickering leading up to it. Just a ton of sadness and dissatisfaction with life/the future on his end. I could tell he needed some space to work on himself and his burnout/depression (pertaining to his professional life, somewhat of an early 20s end of college crisis). I never tried to fix him nor do I take it personally that he needed to break up. I supported him until he was strong enough to be honest with himself – at which point I told him I was proud of him for breaking up and doing something about how he’s been feeling. If you love someone you let them go… I really love him.

    I have maintained no contact since the moment he walked out because I think space is best. I truthfully have no idea what the future has in store for us and I’m starting to make peace with that. I never begged before or after the break-up. He reached out two weeks after he ended things (he probably just missed me) to catch up and I respectfully declined because that felt wrong… if he wants time and I think he needs it… it’s better to do the hard thing and say no to his efforts. Also, I need to heal first. It has been a little over three weeks of no contact.

    I think a short message might be a good idea just to reinforce that there are no hard feelings but I don’t want to seem like I’m looking to start a conversation with him or win him back. I have no intention of being with him (especially in his current state) or anyone else for a while. I just need more time alone to do my own thing. What would you do? Wish him happy birthday or stick to silent support from afar?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 6:50 pm

      Hi L, I love how composed and emotionally strong you are! That’s some real self respect and control there. So if you are set on not getting back with him until he is in a better place and working on himself, then you can reach out as a friend but you put yourself in a friendzone for the future. We do recommend that you do not send a birthday message during the No Contact. So, I would complete a 30 day NC just to give you both the space for now and then reach out as a friend when it is over

  14. Avatar

    Lola

    October 24, 2019 at 5:25 pm

    Quick question my no contact end this Saturday and my ex birthday is next week Saturday should i go ahead and contact him or wait a few days after his birthday?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 24, 2019 at 8:36 pm

      Reach out with a hook text when your No Contact ends but avoid reaching out on his actual birthday – I would maybe reach out a second time a couple of days later

  15. Avatar

    Elaine

    October 9, 2019 at 3:45 am

    My birthday was last month and he texted me something along the lines of “happy birthday. I hope you have fun and stay safe”,

    His birthday is coming up in about a week and I am attempting NC now after 3months of begging & pleading(I know….) Will it be okay for me to wish him a quick happy birthday? I’m not expecting him to respond with a text that will constitute us in getting back together right away but I didnt want to NOT acknowledge his birthday. Please advise.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 9, 2019 at 8:23 pm

      Elaine, if you’re in NC do not reach out to him over his birthday if you want him back. Stay silent

  16. Avatar

    Steph

    October 5, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    Hi. On day 21 of NC. I’m the one who told him I was given them some space. Tomorrow is his bday should I continue with NC or send a simple HBD text?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 6, 2019 at 2:36 pm

      Under no circumstances do you message him happy birthday during NC 🙂 Continue your No Contact to the end without any reaching out

  17. Avatar

    Keily

    September 7, 2019 at 9:07 am

    I have broke up with my BF myself shall I wish him happy birthday if I have admitted a mistake breaking up with his and want him back? He is in NC with me now. Any opinions?

    1. Shaunna

      Shaunna

      September 12, 2019 at 10:07 pm

      Hey Keily, if he is NC you and it has been less than 30 days since you reached out then NO don’t send the text. Let there be a 30 day period before you reach out to him again and send a text that is suggested through the materials here. Something interesting and that will get his attention 🙂

  18. Avatar

    MB

    June 19, 2019 at 3:18 pm

    I kind of regret saying Happy Birthday. We were friends after a break up, then 3 years long distance and then 2 months living together and it was terrible. He threatened to leave 3 times after arguing and the third threat I threw my hands up in the air and he left. I did the usual crying and pleading. He didn’t seem that interested in me, but made a little effort and ultimately moved back in two weeks later. I was shocked after he moved back in lock, stock, and barrel and paid hardly any attention to me, and said he was only going to stay with me for three day weekends (Fri Sat Sun). I thought it was very rude not to discuss that before moving in, but I tried to distract myself and give it some thought. When he said he was going back to his place a day early on Sunday, I confronted him and ultimately broke up with him. I told him why, that I wasn’t mad, that it wasn’t his fault and that I was sorry. I knew it hurt him even though he lost his attraction for me and I had every reason to get myself out of the situation. Well, on the 14th day of no contact he showed up at my door unexpectedly to get his mail that he didn’t need. I think he was surprised that I was being nice and unemotional and not talking about “us”. He left the truck running, so to signal that it would be a very short visit, and it was short, but not bad. So I had no intention of wishing him Happy Birthday on day 17, but I was torn because of the “visit” and such a short time since breaking up. Was it more cruel to do or not not do? I debated and then put myself out there with no expectations. Afterward (it’s only been an 48 minutes), no response. I was mostly afraid he had changed his number, but it seems the text went through. I will be hurt if he doesn’t say thanks, but I knew this lol. If he doesn’t respond, that is a response! And yes it has set me back for a minute.

  19. Avatar

    Sia

    April 23, 2019 at 6:22 am

    Hi, my ex boyfriend broke up with me in February and I reached out in March. But haven’t reached out since. Thursday is his birthday but I feel like he would get upset. Do I still wish him a happy birthday from the kindness of my heart or just stop texting completely

  20. Avatar

    Afrah

    April 15, 2019 at 10:31 am

    I was in a relationship for 3 years. We had a lot of fights but we always made up eventually. Things were good the past few months but all of a sudden out of the blue he wanted to break up and said that he wants to focus on his career. Later I got to know he went through some rejection. I am trying to give him space but it’s his birthday tomorrow. Do you think I should leave a voice message just to stir up his emotions? He even unfriended me from every social media.

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