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Post categories
Carol Hooper
October 14, 2020 at 6:27 pm
Chris,
I haven’t seen anyone ask you this question yet. I have dated my boyfriend for over 5 years. He suddenly broke up with me via email. I am in the No Contact phase and doing well. I am doing the 45 day No Contact option. His birthday is a few days AFTER the No Contact period. Should I extend my No Contact phase a few more days and let him wonder why I am not contacting him on his birthday?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 15, 2020 at 5:25 pm
Hi Carol, yes you extend your NC so that you pass his birthday, add an extra week of NC
Juli
October 6, 2020 at 8:22 pm
Hey, my just wished me a Happy Birthday, and he told me to take care as well. His birthday is coming up , should I wish him Happy birthday since he did to me ?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 7, 2020 at 11:39 am
Hi Juli, it really depends on what you want to achieve. If you are following the program and are in NC then no do not reach out. If you are not interested in getting your ex back then you can reach out
Helen
September 28, 2020 at 8:15 am
Hello! So I dated a guy for 3 months. The first month, we dated seriously and then later on in the dating he got scared and told me we aren’t official but only dating casually and so there were many times when we argued etc and he got cold on and off many times.
Anyway, we continued to date “casually” but everything we did was no less than dating officially. We met almost every day and called me every night and talked until we both fell asleep.
But about 2 weeks ago, he went from texting me, calling me and living with me for about 15 days, he turned very very cold suddenly. We had a lot of arguments and he hurt me at some point so I started the Nc rule and that made him go crazy. He called me non stop, texted me and asked for my forgiveness and then eventually showed up at my door the day without informing me just to cuddle with me.
We went up to my place and I asked him what he wanted from me, what exactly he wanted. I’m not sure if this scared him but he suddenly told me that I shouldn’t wait for him, he isn’t good for me cuz he has hurt me many times and as this became veru emotional for me to handle I cried of course, and surpeisingly he started crying too. A lot. Even after we went to bed, he cried again.
And I thought ok, he is staying with me. But the days after he was very short in his messages and then when I asked what was up he said that he thinks we should go back to where we were and that he doesn’t know if he likes me enough. I only sent one shirt text after this and no more. I didn’t beg or anything.
It has been 8 days since we talked. I haven’t sent him anything at all, even though yesterday was his birthday.
So just because he considered our relationship “casual” does it mean the NC rule won’t work? What should I do? Should I just talk to him and wish him a happy birthday or wait?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 12, 2020 at 9:31 am
Hey there, yes No Contact can still work but it means that you need to spend that time solely focusing on yourself to become the best version of yourself showing him what he has lost. Do not reach out on birthdays, you need to make sure that you do a solid 30 days No Contact
Confusedvirgo
September 22, 2020 at 8:32 pm
The ex and I had contact beginning in June in text with him saying he needed to evaluate things. There was no contact until I wished him a happy birthday via text end of July. He did not reply. No contact until he texted me end of September wishing me a happy birthday. I replied back with thank you. What is happening? Lol
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 25, 2020 at 8:57 pm
Hey there, it sounds as if he is being civil with you and sending birthday wishes as you did to him. If you want him back then you need to follow the program
Sophie
August 21, 2020 at 10:12 pm
My ex and I were together for 3 1/2 years. The last 8 months of the relationship were troubled with him not knowing what he wanted so we were off and on. He broke it off saying we weren’t compatible. This was 6 months ago & there has been no contact from either party. It is his birthday coming up should I reach out?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 5, 2020 at 7:46 pm
Hey Sophie while I get why you think birthday is a good reason to reach out, I would suggest that you dont do that as he would expect it and ignore your message. Or a generic thanks. Reach out with a text that Chris suggests in his articles
Kelli
July 12, 2020 at 4:50 pm
My ex’s birthday was recently and he messaged
Me at the end of that day and he was mad at me questioning me whether I ever cared for him cause I didn’t tell him happy birthday and he ended things with me ..
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
July 13, 2020 at 4:26 pm
Hi Kelli, Im sorry I’m confused, if you were together then why didn’t you wish him a Happy Birthday? Or were you already broken up?
Rebecca
June 12, 2020 at 5:09 pm
My boyfriend of 3 years just broke up, last month. We have spoken a bit the last 4 weeks and he knows that I want things to work with him, he says he wants to as well but if we get back together right now it won’t work cause we both need to fix things and improve on ourselves (which is very true). Ive spoken time him a bit since the break up and spoke to him a few days ago and he basically said he does want to be together at some point, but needs to get things together. (if it’s meant to be it will) we caught up at one point as friends last week just to catch up about life. His birthday is in a few days, genuinely don’t know if I should say anything or if that will make it worse?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 12, 2020 at 8:53 pm
Hi Rebecca if you are in regular contact then you can send a birthday message. However if you want him back, and want to follow this program you need to complete a No Contact
Blueice
June 11, 2020 at 8:06 am
Can I text my ex on his birthday
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 11, 2020 at 1:24 pm
No, do not send texts on Birthdays
Ruchi Pawar
May 24, 2020 at 12:47 pm
I was insanely in love with this man. It started as casual relationship for 6 months but there was this insane chemistry between us. However we both got very sick and we had several arguments because in the end, more I was in love, more I needed him. More he was in love, more relaxed he was. He will make me wait whole day and sometimes more than a day to reply. I knew he was intensely attracted to me though. He decided to go on a break because we were running in circles arguing on same topic again. He stopped replying me 2 months ago. I didn’t message him either. I had to reach out after a month because my phone got hacked and I had to warn everyone including him. He did reply but I said I was upset about how he pretended that we never existed. He didn’t reply of course. Now its his birthday soon. I know I still love him and may be want him back one day. Its been 2 months of almost NC. Should I wish him? I don’t know if he ever will reach out because of his pride. But I know I want him back one day when I am at a more confident and better position.
Alice
May 21, 2020 at 1:18 am
Hi,
I broke up with my EX 3 months ago, and after a month of no contact she reached out to me asking me if we aren’t friends anymore. So I was being polite and said no. After that, sometimes she would reply to my Instagram Stories and sometime I would do the same… It’s her birthday tomorrow, should I send her a birthday wish?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 29, 2020 at 10:48 pm
Hi Alice, I would advise not to send birthday wishes. I would suggest that if you want you ex back that you start following the information in the articles and complete a No Contact from the last conversation you had and then the texting phase
Jennifer
May 17, 2020 at 9:22 am
This makes sense, my ex forgot my birthday, so why should I text him on his,? i ask myself. Plus we stop talking and is being 30 days, at this point idk what to do, I feel I lost him. Our situation is really complicated at this point cause we were together for 3 years, and now we live in different countries, we were talking almost every day, he refused to be in a relationship again saying he is really hurt and mentally he can’t cope again to the idea of coming back together. I did so much for this guy that I will need a huge space here to explain it, as we were talking I felt getting into a friendly zone with him and I told him this, we argued and I stopped texting, obviously he did too. We lost got marry but I rejected it cause he wanted me to sing a prenup, plus I was living with him and my visa in that country was expiring so I left the country and move to another one, got my job and I have my life back, but without him. This is so hard it aches my heart everyday. Idk what should I do or for how long keeping the non contact rule
I will appreciate some help please
Thank you
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 21, 2020 at 12:13 am
Hi there Jennifer, you need to start the program, first step is working on your Holy Trinity and completing your No Contact
unknown
April 23, 2020 at 8:04 am
My EX left me before 5 months without giving me any reason, I didn’t contact her for 2 months from break up, that’s the last time we chat (so I didn’t contact her before 3 months until now).
Her birthday after few days, should I send her HBD?
*My birthday was 22 after break up, she didn’t send me any thing.
Maybe she forget me but I still love her so much and I crying every day!
I’m really rolling in my pain & don’t know what should I do!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 25, 2020 at 11:30 am
Hey there no we do not suggest that you reach out on an exes Birthday
Jennifer
April 23, 2020 at 5:47 am
Hey,
my boyfriend didn’t introduce me to his friends & family and so I had the feeling he is not sure about if he wants to be with me or not. I walked away for no contact and said he should get back to me once he took the time to think about and make a decision.
4 weeks later out of the blue I just got a „happy Easter“ message – without any questions. I didn’t responded to this.
Was that right? Should I still be waiting? It now passed 1,5 weeks since then.
So no contact is since 5 weeks now…,
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 25, 2020 at 11:31 am
Hey Jennifer, yes you were right not to answer the happy Easter message. As you have been in NC for 5 weeks now I would suggest that you start thinking of sending a text that Chris suggests from his articles though
Christina
April 21, 2020 at 10:57 pm
Hi, thank you for your suggestion! Just following up, you don’t think it’s appropriate to wish happy birthday even though it’s been 2 months of NC? How long should NC be and does my situation differ because he ghosted me?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 25, 2020 at 11:58 am
Hey Christina, no we do not suggest to reach out with a birthday message. Your NC should be 30 days of you working on your Holy Trinity before reaching out
SARIKA RAI
April 19, 2020 at 12:41 pm
Hello there……!
My boyfriend and I we didn’t broke up it’s just happened by circumstances and all of sudden he’d told me that I deserve better, he doesn’t worth of my tears and he can’t spare time for me he’s not brave enough to stand by me. Sometimes he used to message me on WhatsApp but I couldn’t stop myself to response his message but now I’m no contact rule tho he will message I’m not calling him and his birthday is near and I’m anxious , confuse and at the same time excited also so please suggest me should I wish him happy birthday
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 25, 2020 at 12:47 pm
Hi Sarika, no you should not send a birthday message unless you were back to talking on a regular basis.
Samira
April 17, 2020 at 5:32 am
Perfect:)
Thank you❤
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 17, 2020 at 3:03 pm
Thanks Samira 🙂
Christina
April 12, 2020 at 8:40 pm
My ex and I were in an ldr for four months and in the last month, we decided to go on a break. I reached out after the break was over to try and talk things out, but he didn’t respond. I went into NC and it has been about two months. His birthday is coming up soon and I want to wish him well, except I’m not sure how he would react since he ghosted me.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 17, 2020 at 10:03 pm
Hi Christina, we do not suggest sending a birthday message if you are trying to get him back and following this program
Teresa
April 5, 2020 at 1:02 pm
My ex and I broke up and we were in talking terms when suddenly he stopped talking to me because he found someone else who is a wife material and he thought I was too young and he didn’t love me. He didn’t wish me on my birthday. I was stupid that I reached out to him after a month and he was just giving me sympathy. I stopped talking to him. It’s been 3 months since he found someone else and a month since I reached out to him last .It’s birthday in 20 days. I think he has moved on way ahead and i am just still thinking about him. Should I wish him
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 10, 2020 at 12:26 am
Hi Teresa no do not reach out unless you are trying to get him back
Richard Burch
April 4, 2020 at 10:15 pm
My ex broke up with me in October. We tried to remaining friends for awhile. I still have feelings for her, she expressed she didn’t. I couldn’t stand seeing her with other guys, so I decided things have to change. We unfriended each other on all social media.We stopped talking on Thanksgiving, and she contacted me wishing a Merry Christmas. We haven’t spoken since then. Her birthday is on May 3rd. I’ve been debating whether to wish her happy birthday. I really love and care about this girl deeply. When we first broke up, I really did want to try and be friends, but it just hurt too much seeing her interested in other people. I figured maybe we just stop talking for awhile and try to be friends later when I don’t have those feelings for her. But when she contacted on Christmas, I suggested that we dont contact each other ever again at all. It hurt me doing that, and it probably hurt her too, but I thought it was best if I wanted to get her back eventually or just getting over her. I still haven’t lost feelings, but I’m ok with us being broken up and I’m ok with myself. I just can’t see myself without her in my life, for the rest of my life. That’s as a friend or girlfriend. I know the risk of wishing her a happy birthday and breaking no contact. I want her back as my girlfriend, but at the same time, I’d rather be friends and be in her life than never seeing or talking to her ever again. What do you think I should do?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 9, 2020 at 10:44 pm
Hi Richard, stick with the NC and do not reach out over the birthday, if you end up just being friends, or getting back together that is not going to be determined by you sending a birthday message, truthfully. It has more of an impact where she spends time wondering why you didnt reach out to her, which makes her think about you, which is the goal during NC
Sam
April 3, 2020 at 6:46 am
My ex(dumper) birthday is on april 11. Should i great her. I feel I dont have an obligation to message her since she dumped me. She dont even reply on my last message last march 31. I mean what for? I mean yes I wish her a happy birthday, but I feel that it wont make me feel good afterwards..
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 3, 2020 at 4:26 pm
No, do not send a birthday message