Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
What Is An Avoidants Biggest Fear?
What Does A Fearful Avoidant Need?
Post categories
Rheign
May 29, 2016 at 9:52 am
Hi. so me and my ex-boyfriend spend time for 1year and 3 months, then he broke up with me this thursday 3 days had passed. We had a closure the day after he broke up, we ended everything nicely but after i walked away from that place i cried with my bestfriend because it truly hurts me and it was so unexpected we were okay back then we just lost a little communication because i know he’s busy so i let him do his stuffs and later on i never knew he was acting cold already then we had this fight and of course i was shocked because he suddenly broke up with with a very simple reason that can still be solve and yet he doesnt want to try. I know he still love me a little i can feel it when he hold my hand and kissed and hugged me when we had our closure i just dont know why did he gave up that easily after all that has ever happened to us. The day after our closure i woke up really mad at him that i texted him that i want to meet up again just to burst all my madness at him and after that i’ll start moving on but he rejected my request so i just talked to a friend and she really helped me with my emotions so i no longer needed to talk to him i felt just fine already. Then the next day the sister of my ex boyfriend out my hopes up even my friends because they were surprised of what happened so they said maybe there still a chance so im doing this ‘No contact policy’ just before i read this article so it means a good first move for me but i dont think so i can do this for 30 days because school’s starting in June 13 if im going to avoid him in school i will look the loser and we had a deal that we can be friends. There’s one thing for sure that im going to do, i will bring ‘us’ back, when we had our closure he told me “if were meant to be destiny will bring us back” I want to be that ‘destiny’ he’s saying. I’m going to do it slowly, is it right? about the ‘no contact rule’ i cant do it in 30days because of school is it also alright?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2016 at 7:24 am
Hi Rheign,
you will do a limited contact. That means you don’t initiate a talk and be distant as much as possible but be polite if he approaches you. Only short and direct, don’t be engaging for a talk and continue to do the activities you started to heal and improve yourself even after no contact.
JET
May 28, 2016 at 10:24 am
Hi!
I just want your insight on this…
My ex bf broke up with me on April, I went NC for a month, then we got to hang out and talk after. I would initiate texting first, though he replies. We met up first at a coffee shop (he even sent me flirty messages after). I invited him too, to go to a friend’s party and an event (he did go to the event). After one week, we met up again (because I had to get my clothes from his place). We talked okay. Everything was okay. Only on our second meeting, he said that he made up his mind about the breakup, and it was unexpected. We fought almost all the time, jealousy… He had enough. Me, too. I didn’t want to fight anymore… But it turns out that he has other reasons, too…
Moreover, we saw each other at the event – we have the same group of friends. The whole night he’s was the one taking care of me. We went to a house party after, he was so clingy and everyone told me that he kept on staring at me. When the time came that we had to leave, we, along with out two guy friends went to my ex’s place. We stayed here. And we had sex. Everything was still ok. But I had to go home as I was getting confused as to why he acted that way. The next day, we texted. Everything was ok. We flirted – but in a sexual way. But I noticed that I was he one who’s always initiating texts first – but he still replies.
The day after, I went to meet up with him to get the HD (he was the one who said that I could borrow it). That night, I came from a hotel with my other friends – I told him that I’ll be with him late. He started asking what I was doing there, in short, he was acting jealous.
I went to his place, he said that we aren’t together. I can tell that he didn’t even want me to leave – I was suppose to, well, I was trying to see how he’ll react. Then we kissed. One thing led to another.. It’s like we didn’t break up. Like before. And then I slept there again. The day after that. He said that we both need space. He didn’t reply much anymore – only one-worded replies.
That night, I found out he didn’t go to work but instead, he was out with our friends at a club drinking. He was so drunk. I was also at the same club – I didn’t know he was there. I wish he wasn’t there… I didn’t came near them, but I’m sure that he saw me walking… I can see that he was looking at the side to where I was.
What he did that night, he missed some random girl. It was taking too long and I couldn’t stop myself so I went down and went to him. He saw me. Yet he didn’t stop kissing that random girl.
That same night, he went home. I followed him. I was drunk, too. We talked. He cried. I cried. He said he didn’t stop kissing that girl for me to see it, for me to move on. Then we were okay again. Only this time, I found out that he was going to back to France this August because his brother’s getting married. When I asked what he’ll be doing there he told me that he doesn’t know yet.
The last time we were together was last night. We still talked. Cried. He said we both need space. I don’t get that ‘space’. He’s already leaving. Again. He really wants me to move on now? I have no more chance in getting him back… At least not right now. Right?
I’m still studying. As for him, he wants to travel and do stuff. I understand though. But I don’t know what I should do right now? Because it’s like he’s been giving me mixed signals.
Pls help…
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2016 at 1:09 pm
Hi Jet,
you mean he’s staying in France? or just there for the wedding? I agree that you need to stop seeing each ohter for now, so that both of you can properly move on and sort out your feelings and have a fresh restart
Nono
May 28, 2016 at 9:24 am
Hay,
I did every step in the book, things were great, untill the texting stage, where I set the date to meet up, and he was so excited about it. Then out of no where so said no I don’t want this anymore ( after he said yes to meet up) I got so angry and frustrated at him, after all I did everything right to this point. Now I am kinda lost and heart again. Should I go aging to no contact. Or what?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2016 at 12:44 pm
Hi Nono,
have you talked again after you got angry?
Hopeful
May 27, 2016 at 7:14 pm
Hi!
My Ex and I were dating for a year. It was both of our first serious relationships. I always doubted the relationship because he was the first person I was ever with. I thought maybe I could be happier with someone else. There was a lot of problems with the relationship, I always thought it was just him. I wanted to go on a break, but we ended up just breaking up. We didn’t talk for a week, during that week I realized It wasn’t just him, I realized that I was always pushing him to be someone who he wasn’t because I didn’t know what I wanted. I excepted him to do things that I didn’t even tell him I wanted. I would get upset for no reason. When I realized that, I called him and asked him to come over. I told him my realization and that I thought our relationship would be way better if he tried again. But he didn’t know if he wanted to get back together or not so I gave him sometime. We decided to stay friends since we have a lot of the same friends. I never held time to truly heal, I ended up saying a lot of stuff I regret saying how I still wanted him, and I was in love with him and crying in front of him. I was just hanging out with him a lot and I couldn’t handle it. We ended up telling me he didn’t want to be with me anymore, and he didn’t love me anymore but he still wanted me in his life and that he still did care about me a lot. I still love him, and I realize how happy he made me and how badly I just want the chance to be with him again. I’m starting the 30 day no contact rule today, but I’m afraid he will just think i’m angry with him, since we are friends still. I just feel like I’ve made so many mistakes with this break up because I had to see him all the time. I think it will be the best thing for me. If there is any hope for us? Or have I messed this up too much and just focus on being friends with him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2016 at 7:02 am
Hi Hopeful,
tell him you can’t manage to be friends right now.. and then restart count of no contact
sally
May 27, 2016 at 10:57 am
Hey,
I really am in need plz help me out my story strtd a month ago we had late night chats we shared our thoughts fell in love like really in love only thing we never met its not that we wr not familiar wid eachother personally he saw me quite many times goin home from shopping wid frends etc so 1 day back in the aftrnoon tym we had a argument actually it was started by me as i strtd feeling that he is not intrested in me so we had a terrible fight he called me names etc etc later in the day i felt that no i was wrong i shouldnt have tested him or confronted him lik tis as every guy is different may be what i feel as least intrested attitude might be normal in his case so i thought of apologizing nd i txtd him said srry but no he was not ready to listen and askd me to leave him alone whn i didnt stop him txting he blocked me nd later did unblock me he was lik i dont want to stay wid u now coming back to me i have put him to no contact its just been a day whn i have employed the no contact am i right on my path ? What should i do? Will i get him back?plz revert
sally
May 30, 2016 at 8:31 am
And we met through fb we had common friends and so we strtd chatting thn he used to lik my pictures ova Instagram that was when exactly I fell head to toe in love with him he once said that I was his crush his way of talking respecting people everything about him attracted me and a day arrived when he said love u nd I replied sain I do that was a month back.
sally
May 30, 2016 at 8:08 am
Our relationship 1 month ago and we had a fight on 25th of may 2016 and coming to my age m 21 and he is 23.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2016 at 3:26 pm
just let him cool off for now, once he talks to you, talk calmly to each other.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2016 at 5:59 am
Hi Sally,
ur fight started a montha ago or your relationship? how did you meet and how old are both of you?
Butterflies
May 27, 2016 at 10:44 am
Hi
I have previously bought this download and have read through it. Me and my boyfriend broke up end of January, and really didn’t cut contact at all. All along he had said he thought maybe in a few months we would get back together or at some point throughout the year and he just wanted some freedom (as our relationship did get quite intense and we both moved to a new city where he had friends and I didn’t, so I did rely on him abit) so I understood. We kept bickering since via text and he recently said that the chances of us getting back together in the near future are less likely if we just carry on arguing. This was about a week ago, where we decided to stop fighting. Since we have stopped he has now said he has thought about it a lot and wants me in his life and wants to build a friendship with me but can’t see us getting back together.
It feels like it has gone back to front because I would understand him saying this when we were fighting, but even when we were he ALWAYS said he saw us back together. Now we have made progress and stopped fighting, for him to turn around and say he can’t see it now, is it even worth me implying the no contact rule or is it already too late?
Many thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2016 at 5:57 am
Hi Buttefflies,
it’s not too late but tell him you need space before doing nc.. tell him you need to do it to heal so you can really be friends again
Emmy
May 26, 2016 at 8:51 am
i there!
My bf of 2 years and I lived together from September -December of last year, and then split up due to never seeing each other (complete opposite schedules) and some distance we were feeling, in hopes to work it out later. We did the whole thing wrong, in my opinion, as we continued to talk almost daily, see each other at least once a week, and then started going on dates mid February and became exclusive again start of March. At this time, he was going to be leaving for 2 months (back on weekends ) to complete a course. In hindsight, we should waited until after he got back. While we were going on dates, but not exclusive, he slept with another girl. I found out and it hit pretty hard, but wanted to work it out and we then became exclusive. I think I never fully got over it, so while he was gone and made friends with a girl at training, I became paranoid about her. I brought her up once or twice throughout his course, and he always said nothing was going on. I was also concerned because I knew they were going to be working at the same location together and seeing each other often. When he was finished his course the other week, I brought her up again and casually asked if he could show me their texts to ease my mind. He became very defensive and hid his phone. Eventually showing me a text or two from the day before, but acting quite shady while showing me. My thoughts got to me and that night and I snooped his phone (which I’m aware is wrong) because I was concerned about what he was hiding. I found pretty flirty texts between them and a text from her referring to a night where they had all drank and another classmate “didn’t know what happened” between the two of them. There was also a text from a male classmate the next morning saying “so how does the company ink write? :p” I was angry and hurt as I automatically assumed the worst and left to go back to my place that night. The next day he messaged asking where I was etc and I freaked out saying “we’re over”. There was some back and forth and I apologized for reading his texts, however, told him again about the behaviour I was concerned about. He seems very stuck on the fact that I looked at his phone and that he “did nothing wrong”. We left it for a couple days over a weekend and then touched base with each other and spoke about it when we were both less hurt and angry. He explained she was drunk that night and he had to carry her down some stairs or something, and the message from the friend was bugging him because the friend always poked at him saying the two of them would be good together. He adamantly stated they hadn’t slept together or anything. But seems very hurt that I looked at his phone. He keeps saying “you don’t trust me”, but I’d really like him to take responsibility for how he was acting which didn’t help with how I was feeling. We are talking in a couple days to go over options in person. (Ending it entirely, trying to work it out, or ending it with an open mind taking some time apart). So this isn’t necessarily a “get ex back” comment, but more of a how to handle this situation?
He has never cheated. I’ve never cheated. This is the first thing that seems kind of damming. I think trust could be restored but I’m not sure of the goings on about it. Looking for advice.
Emmy
May 30, 2016 at 7:20 am
He emailed but didn’t talk. He been on dating sites and already on one date. I stopped contact but then we were in the same bar last night. We didn’t speak and I was being chatted up by another man. He saw this and today he has text accusing me of sleeping with the man! Not true at all. I don’t even has his number. He said it hurt a bit. I have been to see him as the texts were getting silly. He said he will read my email I sent him again and is coming round to talk later this week. He will also think about us as he has blocked us out of his head.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 29, 2016 at 1:42 pm
HI Emmy,
how did your talk go? If you did talk, and you haven’t started the no contact, you should start now.
TC
May 25, 2016 at 1:07 pm
Hello,
I need some insight on what’s just happened. So me and my bf have been together for just about 6 years. We met in high school as sophomores and have pretty much been together ever since. We have broken up previously because of me having old trust issues and him feeling like he couldn’t communicate things like wanting to go out with friends for a night. We got back together after miraculously running into each other at a night club after 3 months of being broken up then a few days later coincidentally attending the same college. Fast forward a year and a half later, we became really close again, we even got matching tattoos a few days before the break up, anyways; it was a Saturday night and he tells me he is going to stay over his cousins place for the night and he ends up not texting back for a couple of hours and I begin to worry, I end up finding out he was never at his cousins. I call him later that night and after a while of pushing he confesses he went out to a bar with a buddy, and his reason for lying was to avoid conflict with me so of course I was upset and told him I was done with it and that I couldn’t take anymore of the stupid lying and he said he understood. 2 days pass with no communication and I couldn’t handle not knowing how he could just throw it all away so I end up going to his house this morning and we talk and cry for about 5 hours. This is where he tells me everything I said to him was right and that he knows he did something wrong. He explains to me that he still does all these childish things after 6 years because he hasn’t grown up much and it’s because he hasn’t been able to find who he is as a person since we’ve pretty much grown up together. He also has made the decision to enlist in the Air Force which he thinks will give him the opportunity to grow into the man he wants to be and it will help him find out what he wants to do as far as a career so I tell him I support him in that decision but he tells me he doesn’t want me to wait for him because I deserve to live my life and be able to do more for myself rather than waiting, he says he definitely isn’t going anywhere looking for love because I am his one true love and if he comes back and he’s turned into the man I need him to be and we are both willing then we can make it work again basically “if it’s meant to be, it will be”. He doesn’t want to lose contact with me because we have been such a big factor in each other’s lives and involved with each other family so he still wants to talk to each other and maybe meet for lunch or dinner once a week but we wouldn’t be involved in anything romantic or intimate. I feel empty even though we are still talking and I know he does too because he has admitted that it hurts but he really needs to do this for himself which I do understand but it doesn’t make it any easier. Any thoughts or comments?
P.s. Sorry for the incorrect punctuation lol
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2016 at 4:04 am
Hi TC,
it’s ok.. You need to try no contact to try to make him miss you. You can say you need space right now and you’ll contact him when you’re ready. There would be no chance for him to regret if you’re always there.
Ally
May 24, 2016 at 6:16 pm
Hi!
My situation is awful. I got into a relationship with my best friend of two years. The difficulty here is that we were a long distance relationship. It started wonderful, all the sweet messages, talking on the phone for hours and tracking ticket prices, promising to see each other soon.
However, due to our responsibilities, we couldn’t see each other for six months. This is where he started moving away from me, I could sense he’s not as into it as he was before. Then the messages and calls got less frequent and I was constantly pointing out to him that he acts like he doesn’t care anymore. I was supposed to visit him in a month but he called me yesterday telling me that I was right, that he doesn’t want this relationship to last anymore and that we were better off as just friends. He said I can still come visit him as we planned but only as his bestie.
Of course I bursted into tears and begged him to reconsider, which only caused him to get harsh and irritated. I regret that very much now. Today I told him I don’t want to talk to him for some time and he got kinda upset with me, saying that he really meant for us to stay best friends and that he wants to keep in touch. I said I need time to get my head straight and finished the conversation.
I’m 23, dated guys before him, but I’ve never ever loved anybody like him. What do I do? How do I win him back? Is that even possible? Please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2016 at 7:32 am
Hi Ally,
at least you’ve kind of prepped him for you no contact process. Start to be active now in doing new things and improving yourself. Let’s hope he misses you and reconsiders what he said.
Stephanie
May 24, 2016 at 6:04 pm
Hey, I read the entire website and hoping I’ll have a chance at getting back my ex, however, he has a new girlfriend. We had been together through everything, we’ve gotten through a lot of ups and downs. We broke up a couple times in the past 7 years, those times were when we were in high school (we are well into our 20’s now). We have always found our way back to each other though. Me and him we’re still talking, and he told me that he would drop everything for me if I needed him. But then about a couple weeks ago he told me he had moved on, so I should too. This made my heart drop. I am so incredibly in love with him and imagining him with another makes me want to vomit. I freaked out (which I knew I shouldn’t do) and pretty much he told me that he was going to give her and him a chance, that he likes her, that he gets along with her. My heart is broken.
I just would do anything to be with him again, we we’re so great together, we understood each other, and we’ve made it so long together, all the time being so in love with each other. I can’t think that we were in love for so long only to not be meant for each other.
My question is, after the no-contact rule, how do I go about talking to him again? How do I remind him of how perfect we are together while also keeping in mind that he has a girlfriend who probably has fallen for him and he has fallen for her? I would never want him to cheat on her with me or disrespect her in anyway because I would not want that if I was in her shoes. I’m not that kind of person at all.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2016 at 7:24 am
Hi Stephanie,
You have to approach in a friendly way only. This post suits your situation: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)
Ana
May 24, 2016 at 8:53 am
I really need your advice. Me and my ex were dating for about 2 years and a half, we were extremely happy most of the time and did everything together, i got along well with his family and vice versa. As we have the same age (20), we started dating as we started college. Our courses were very similar, so besides having a lot of interests in common, college also became one. But he has always been kind of a workaholic, and slowly started to put college first than me, and it came to a point where I felt I wasn’t receiving the attention I deserved and I started noticing he was a bit distant. After talking to him about that several times, one day he said he felt like he couldnt give me what i deserved and it was because he didnt feel the same way about me as he did before and he was also unhappy and was having trouble dealing with my personality, so the best thing to do was to break up. We broke up 1 week ago, I’m still devastated and I feel like he is the love of my life and I can’t let him go, but everyone is saying that I should. When we broke up, he said he still wanted to be friends and talk bc he loved talking to me, and he worries about me and wants the best for me, but doesn’t see a romantic future in us. What should I do? Should I start NC and follow your steps of getting him back (I gained a little weight in our relationship so I can really focus on myself now and be my better version as well as working on my hard personality) or should just give up?
OBS: in 1 month ill be going home which is very far from here and will only return on september for next college year. if I do NC, should it be until september?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2016 at 6:35 am
HI Ana,
yes, do nc but you don’t have to do it until september, that just means you have to build rapport while you’re far away. Treat it like a long distance relationship
Corinna
May 24, 2016 at 4:58 am
Help! My boyfriend broke up with me completely out of the blue a month and two weeks ago. We had dated for almost 4 years, and he was my everything and my best friend. I am asking for help because I didn’t know about the no contact rule and completely went crazy with the texts and calls and emails. He says he can’t handle it anymore now (he had said to try space and being friends and then maybe) but now says he is completely done because I didn’t give him his space and that was selfish and controlling of me. Is it possible for the no contact rule to work after a month of tons of emails and calls??? I am completely devastated by this as we had planned on getting married soon. Last I saw him (I made the grave mistake of driving to his house to surprise him), he yelled and told me to leave and never come back (because I didn’t give him his space and he was done)…..
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2016 at 4:27 am
HI Corinna,
Take a chance. The only good thing I see, is that no contact will be really a different approach from what you did. He might see you’re changing but of course your actions during no contact should be inline with not contacting him. Show him you’re building a new life by being busy on other things that has nothing to do with him.
oh no
May 23, 2016 at 11:22 am
I have an ex girlfriend of two years and five months. We broke up and weeks later she has someone new. It has been almost two months now and they are still together, but I started contacting her again via fb messenger and told her that if I may have 1% or less chance of winning her back, I’d still take it. Now she told me, she does not love me anymore and she brags her someone new to be more handsome than me, sweeter, more understanding, and “a lot more”. She also said she has done things that she has not done when we are still together. Then she blocks me on her messenger. lolz. I do not know if it is normal to feel that despite all those bragging, I still feel I still occupy a space in her heart. or may be not, i don’t know, please enlighten me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 26, 2016 at 6:28 pm
Hi Oh no,
try active no contact as a last move.. improve yourself but don’t caption your posts that you’re doing it for her.. Just show you’re moving on.. so that you would have a chance of starting as friends when she sees you have moved on
lauren
May 22, 2016 at 10:37 pm
My ex and I were together for 4 years and broke up in January. I initiated the break up as I didn’t want to move to his hometown and we weren’t getting on. We owned a flat together and I moved out.
After about 2 months we started to hang out for a about a month and one day out of the blue he put a stop to it all, saying that there were too many differences. Upon reflection I concluded that we weren’t getting on because I wasn’t communicating with him and realised that I did want to move to his hometown with him.
I begged him for a second try saying everything was my fault that I would change and move to his hometown; he said he’d think about it. After 7 days of NC he called to say that he couldn’t do it as things didn’t feel right. I said ok and as I was upset said to sell the flat. Five days later he text to ask was I prepared to do everything I said. At the point I wasn’t sure what I wanted so I replied saying I meant what I said, but I was confused and upset. He replied saying the same. I said that we needed time to think and reflect over it all, which he agreed with. Four days later he emailed me asking me to get on with the flat sale whilst he went on holiday. I replied that we’d deal with it when he returns. When he returned he email again about the flat sale and I said that we needed to talk in person about the flat the week after next, which he agreed to. Today is day 29 of NC and I have realised that I want him back for certain. How should I handle this situation? I feel I need to address with him the issues of our relationship, otherwise he will be frustrated if I try first contact message. Also, I don’t want to sell the flat as I feel it means that it’s definitely over between us. Also, he is very sensitive. Please help.
Melissa
May 26, 2016 at 10:41 am
He emailed me on Monday about starting the process of selling the flat. I replied to say that my mum wasn’t well at all and that she is my priority and I am focussing on her for the time being and that I would be in touch re the flat. He replied to say that he was sorry to hear that and that he would manage the flat sale whilst I care for my mum, I’ve not responded. I feel like I have lost him and he really isn’t interested in me anymore. What should I do? BTW I have been active in improving myself for the last few months. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 29, 2016 at 1:51 pm
That’s good that you’re improving. On a positive note, at least he’s supportive about your situation. When you start talking again, keep in mind that’s it’s a restart. Let’s say he has moved on and now, the agenda is to attract him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 8:36 pm
Hi,
have you talked again about the flat? If you’re in no contact now, be active in improving yourself because that’s very important. If you haven’t done that, you have to start over count.
Ella
May 22, 2016 at 9:28 pm
First of all, i am an African and i am from Africa. When i got a new job, my boss developed feelings for me. I shared an office with him so i guess it was easy to. He complimented me all the time,from what i wore to my hairstyles. He was flirting with me for a while but he told me he really liked me after the first month. I didnt have feelings for him so i just kept ignoring his protests. He begged me to give him a chance and that he would prove to me he was worth it. Even then, i told him i couldnt date him, because he was my boss. I thought he would give up but he didnt. It reached a point where i could see he was hurting because of me. He was nolonger happy, he told me his feelings for me were so strong that he was falling in love with me. He said i had changed him a lot, and i could see that he had. He started respecting his other enployees and started treating them better. He would stay after work and we would just talk. As time went on, i developed feelings for him too, because i could see that he was a good man with a very beautiful heart. I loved how he cared for the helpless and needy and how he always tried to help whichever way he could. When i agreed to date him, i was at the company for 6 more weeks and left. I didnt leave because of him, i had personal reasons. He wasnt okay with it but i promised i would find someone good to replace me. After i left the company it became a bit tough because he wasnt always on his phone so communication became hard. I would only here from him like late in the night after work. He always left work at around 9pm. I understood that he was a busy man but it wasnt easy. I missed him, and around that same time he became really busy i never even saw him. But we would talk every night. He always talked about dinner but it never happened and i became impatient. About 2 weeks after i had left, i finally met him at his home. It was our first night together intimately. He was very happy to see me, he was hugging me every after 3 seconds and telling me how much he missed me. He explained all that happened since i was gone and why he seemed so busy. We made out but we didn’t have sex because he knew i was a virgin and he didn’t want to rush it. Everything seemed fine to me but after that night, everything changed. The next day i sent him a good morning text and he didn’t reply. Then later i sent him a text asking if i had done something wrong and he replied with a simple “no.” Then i asked him why he was ignoring me and he said he was “just busy.” At this point i knew something was up. I didn’t hear from him again until later at around 6pm when the girl who had replaced me told me he was taking her for dinner as an appreciation for her good work. I was really mad at this point. I sent him a text saying “i see you have time to take yo employees for dinner but u dont have time to text your supposed girlfriend good morning or good night.” He didn’t reply but he called the girl asking her what she had told me. The next day early in the morning he replied and it read “first of all it is none of your business. And this lady deserved it because she is really good at her job but even if you ask her how i treat her, she will tell you there’s nothing special. But i dont care now because you lied to me that u are a virgin yet you aren’t now i also lost the trust. You talk to me with no respect and i hate it. You always doubt me and i don’t care anymore because i no longer trust you. Don’t reply please i already have a lot to do i Dont want a headache” i tried to reply but he saw i was typing and he said he was going to block me which he did. I was so confused because just the previous night he had told me how much he loved me and couldn’t live without me and made me promise to never cheat on him. He had told me he loved my kisses and everything about me. I was really confused what had actually happened to us and where he got the idea from that i had lied about my virginity. I sent him a text that he refused to reply. I thought he had maybe blocked my number too and i was afraid to call because i know him very well to know he wouldn’t pick. The girl at work told me he wasn’t himself after our argument.That he was so pissed he wasn’t talking to her and he was just shouting at every one for no reason. So after like 2 days, i sent him a letter explaining myself and told him i missed him. He replied through text (I know it sounds bad but its actually okay here in my country to break up over a text) and told me every since i came into his life it has been constant headaches and that he was tired of everything. He told me he wanted to be alone and that he was no longer interested in dating anyone. He said i should find someone else and that i am not a bad girl but I’ve just caused him too many headaches yet he already has a lot of stress in his life. But he wasn’t happy even before i came in the picture. He was always stressed with work since he owns the company, he was always working. How could he say i was the cause of his unhappiness. Anyway i told him its fine and never heard from him again. Problem is a few days back, i was trying to send a friend a text and i sent it to him instead. It wasn’t much it just read “hmm, human beings are funny.” Later he replied, “so you are funny.” That’s when i realised i had sent to the wrong number. I wanted to die but instead i replied, “sorry that text was for someone else. I didn’t realise i had sent to the wrong number until now. I think am just tired.” I haven’t heard from him but i miss him Sooo much. I don’t know if i should even be thinking of trying to Win him back or if there’s any chance we could get back together because i really want him back. What should i do? Also should i be trying to get him back or would it be a mistake? He still hasn’t unblocked me on his Whatsapp
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 26, 2016 at 11:36 am
HI Ella,
he sounds like a player. It looks like he was supposed to do the same things he did to you to the new girl but then you two are texting so he stopped because he’s easily busted. Try to contact the girl before to confirm if he’s like that too. But honestly, for me you should move on.
Annie
May 21, 2016 at 7:09 pm
Hi, everyone. My name is Annie and me and my ex (we’ll call him Andy) have been broken up for a little over 3 years now. I have tried to move on multiple times but every time he hurts me I keep falling back into the trap with him. We broke up in November of 2013 after dating for almost a year prior. The reason why we broke up is because I sent a text message to another guy (we’ll call him Brian) saying that I wanted to hook up with him. It was the beginning of October when Andy started furthering himself from me, I was the selfish one. Andy was a year older than me at the time and was preparing to take his final SAT, the test that could make or break where he goes to college. Being an immature sixteen year old, insecure girl who was not receiving attention from her boyfriend was almost impossible for me. So I told Brian that I wanted to hook up with him. Brian then screen shotted this text message and sent it to Andy’s best friend (we’ll call him Ryan). Ryan sent the screenshot to Andy and Andy called me with questions. At the time I was dumb and too young to comprehend how stupid I had been for doing this but I didn’t want Andy finding out about the messages so I denied it. Andy knew right there that I had lied. I had already lost him. Andy put us on a “break” which meant that he was unsure of what he wanted because I’m sure he knew that we were both still in love. He lead me on this “break” for another five weeks until he finally came to my house in person and broke up with me to my face, after me begging him that, that a break up in person was what I deserved. It was the saddest moment of my life watching the guy I loved hysterically cry in front of me and tell me that all of this was over, everything we had worked so hard to achieve in our relationship was finished. And I had done this to myself. It had been me this entire time. I ruined us, the guy who I thought was my best friend and my: everything. I didn’t follow the no contact rule and I texted him numerous times a day begging for him back, texting him inside jokes and sending him old memories of ours. He would occasionally reply by saying “its over, you ruined it” or sometimes just wouldn’t reply. His best friend, (we’ll call him AJ) went so far as to indirectly calling me a psycho ex-girlfriend on Twitter and getting many people to favorite his tweet. I became depressed; this was the lowest part of my life. I had thoughts of ending my life, I lost so much weight and because I was so young I felt none of my friends could relate to what I was going threw. About a month went by and I was getting nowhere closer to being with Andy. I came up with the idea of befriending AJ’s ex girlfriend. AJ’s ex girlfriend (we’ll call her Alexis) and I would go out to parties together, get drunk and hang out clearly showing both AJ and Andy that we were “done” with them. Until one night I drank too much was taken advantage of in her basement by a boy. I was so upset because this had been the first boy I had been with since Andy. I confessed to Alexis about this and she promised she would never tell anyone. Alexis, who I thought was my friend, began sleeping with AJ again and told Andy that I had willingly slept with the boy in Alexis’ basement, when that was the complete opposite of what had actually happened. Andy texted me saying that any chance of us ever getting back together was done. And after that we did not speak for an entire year and 3 months until January of 2015 I texted him asking if he wanted to catch up and meet for coffee. He willingly agreed by saying it would be nice to see each other. We got coffee at 11am and were there until almost 5pm, just talking to one another. It felt as though no time has past between each other. I was a senior in high school at this time and he was a freshman in college. We kept in contact for the time being and slept together for the first time in over a year when he came home from school in April. Andy acted very odd after that and we didn’t speak as much as before sleeping together once again. I asked him to my senior prom and he agreed to be my date. We went to prom together and he was probably the worst date ever. He didn’t really dance and was on his phone most of the time. He came to the after prom at my friend’s beach house. I tried kissing him after consuming a lot of alcohol and he didn’t seem interested. I told him I felt I was forcing him and he told me he didn’t want to be anything with me but friends. Andy was going to stay the night but I said to him, “I’m either your girlfriend or nothing at all.” He left my after prom and left me crying in the street after driving away. I didn’t talk to him again until this February, a drunk phone call (me calling him). We were on the phone for three hours and I don’t remember a minute of the call. I texted him the next day and we began talking again. He and I both were in relationships that did not work out and we were both newly single. We both said we never loved our boyfriend or girlfriend. Andy then invited me to his formal for his fraternity, drove an hour and a half both ways to pick me up and drive me back to his school. The night consisted of us getting dressed up and going to a hookah bar. We were kissing and dancing with each other the whole night, it was perfect. Again, like no time had passed with each other. We slept together for the first time in over a year that night. He drove me back the next morning, and we discussed that we would talk about our status when we returned home for summer vacation from school. I have not seen him since coming home from school but we have established that we are going to be friends who have “casual sex”. I feel as though right now I have Andy exactly how I want him. I need this summer to help him fall in love with me again unless he is already in love with me. I’m very sorry if this story is long and complicated but being with Andy would mean the world to me. If you could help me, it would mean the world. Or any advice that you could give me at all would be amazing. Please, help Andy be mine again.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 26, 2016 at 7:44 am
Hi Annie,
right now you’re friends with benefits.. You should read Chris’ advice here:
EBR 018: I Hooked Up With My Ex… Now What?
C
May 21, 2016 at 3:46 am
Hi.
I’ve been in a relationship with my ex for 3.5 years. Before that, we were really close friends for 3 years more or less. I am 25 and he is 26. We were arguing about some small problems 3 weeks ago, and the next day he said he want to break up. However, there is really not exact reason why he decide on it. I can’t accept his decision and said i don’t want to break up, because i think the problem still can be solved. And he asked about what if we take a break for 2 weeks, and we agree on that. But during this break, he gave a hot and cold response. I came to her sis’s wedding during our 1st week of break up and he wanted us to act normal. Then back to the hot and cold response again. After those 2 weeks as we agreed on, he asked to meet up and his decision is still the same, he want to break up. he said it’s his feeling and he couldn’t give the reason why. He just wanna be free because his life is full with obligations and other people’s wish – not his. Now it has been almost 2 weeks since the official breakup. I’ve tried the NC for the first week but failed. He said he hope we can stay friends like we used to. But I said I don’t know.. Right now it’s hard for me and after all of this it’s harder. And he asked if we can try, and let’s meet for a coffee after all of this is settled down. Like about a month from now. But I just answered I don’t know. Everything seems hopeless now when he said he wants to be free and yea he’s happy. I don’t know whether the NC will work on us. I don’t even have the confidence if we could get back together. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 25, 2016 at 2:05 pm
Hi C,
do nc for yourself.. so that you can be more emotionally stable
Wondering
May 19, 2016 at 8:50 pm
Would like to ask whether the Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO is a one time or monthly payment? So I can arrange it with my bank, otherwise they may automatically rule it as fraudulent payment if it were a monthly payment basis. Really interested in purchasing!
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 10:20 pm
Hi Wondering,
I’m going to check with Chris, but I think it’s a one time payment. I’ll get back to you as soon as he answers. Or you can email this too: [email protected]
Desiré
May 18, 2016 at 4:45 am
I feel kind of embarrassed by posting on but I’m not quite sure how to handle my emotions. My boyfriend and I were together for a little more than 5 and a half years. Things have been negative in our relationship since last September but we kept trying to power through it. Well, he broke up with me around the middle of April but 2 weeks later, we got back together. During that week we got back together, he didn’t want to discuss any issues in an adult manner – as he always does, he likes to avoid our problems. Which I hate because it always causes us to re-hash the same things.. (To put things in perspective, we’re both 21.)
A week ago, he broke up with me a 2nd time (over an EXTREMELY petty argument I might add) and said that FOR SURE we would never be getting back together. He said he is “already moved on from me” & casually mentioned that there was “an attractive girl at work I might start talking to.” I thought he was bluffing but I caught wind that he is actively trying to pursue this person… and it’s only been a week..
I have started no contact and have been for a week. He deleted me off all social media but all our pictures are still up together. All of my friends (and even his coworkers that are mutual friends) are telling me he’s an asshole and it’s a bad idea to get back together since he had cheated on me in the relationship before.
I’m genuinely weighing the pros and cons, because whereas I am a smart girl, my emotions are messing me up in the head and I can’t stop thinking about how he’s moving on so quickly? I can admit it’s probably not the best idea to get back together.
But the reason why I’m posting is: how can I be hurt and grieving and he is outwardly expressing as if he’s happy to be single? Obviously I can’t include every detail about us and I apologize for this comment being as long as it is. I want to know what’s going through his head. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 3:12 pm
Hi Desire,
it depends, either he has long started moving on or hs’s using the girl as reboung
Anja
May 18, 2016 at 1:09 am
My boyfriend and I are still together though I can very well sense that he’s somewhat losing his interest in me already and has been seeing someone else recently (one of his ex-girlfriends, I’m very sure of that. I sometimes secretly scan his phone and read their exchange of sweet messages and see in his call history their 2-3-minute long conversations twice or thrice a day.) I love him. He always tells me he loves me, too. I just think I shouldn’t believe him anymore. One time, he was too sleepy to read a text message he just received and asked me to read it for him. It was from her ex saying “When are you coming here?” I read that to him anyway, loud and clear… Clear? Was the way I read the message the clear one or was it the jealousy/pain that was behind my loud voice? I don’t know.
He abruptly got up from bed, asked me his phone and avoided my gaze. “What was that?” I asked him in a small voice. “Let’s not talk about it,” was his reply. So I knew then that he’s not giving me the right to ask the things I’m curious, jealous, suspicious about. And I love him too much to not just get along. I don’t want to leave him. I can’t. I don’t want to try to make him jealous either. He might just bite it, throw me out and be with his ex.
Do we still have a chance? Does my love for him still stand a chance? However, the little things he does make me want to cling to him still. Like when he’s faraway and calls me up and tells me he missed me. (I’m sure he’s with his ex during some of those days he’s away. It might make you hate me but I love the idea of him thinking of me even if he was with his ex.) Sometimes when we’re together, out of the blue he just tells me he loves me and I that I should believe him. (I’m still convincing myself though to believe his words.) We still make love but not as often as before. The only compensation I get is that he always starts it. On the other hand, I always initiate a kiss… the one that does not make us end up in bed. It’s a casual kiss when I feel like doing it… Be it in the middle of the day, or right when he just come home from work, or when we’re about to sleep. During those times I kiss him, he responds still as eagerly as before.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I want him to miss me, like me and love me the way he did before I had suspicions about his ex. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 1:59 pm
Hi Anja,
Start to love yourself first.. He’ll only respect you the way you want to be respected.. start with exercising the musts in your life so you gain more confidence and independence