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95 thoughts on “Will I Ever Hear From My Ex Again?”

  1. Isha

    January 3, 2020 at 8:50 am

    My ex broke up with me last November. We have been together for 2 and a half years. And we are also in a long distance relationship. Although I always visit him every 2 months. The only problem that we always have is communication. Although everyday we message each other but what I was asking him was to video call me, We are just doing video call maybe 4x a month. But everyday the message is constant. At first I broke up with him because of that, we didn’t talk for a week then I realized I really love him. We decided to fix it and get back together, we told each other to be strong because we both love each other. After few days, I noticed he became cold. I was supposed to go to his country that time and he said before I go there we should talk via Facetime. Then that was the time he broke up with me, saying I deserve better. He realized I deserve someone who is always with me not like him that he is far away. I begged for him not to leave me. But still, he said no. I initiated NC for 37 days. After that I messaged him a funny thing, we started talking again. After few days, I told him how I still feel about the break up and greeted him a Happy New Year. But then still, he doesn’t want to get back. Saying the same thing, I deserve better. He still love me but he thinks the fight will still be there and it will happen again. I don’t know if I should move on. Or he will get back soon.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 5, 2020 at 1:00 am

      Hi Isha, do you think that is true, that the same issues are going to come up if you were to get back together. Is the distance going to change? Has your ex or even yourself made any changes to your lives so that you are more compatible? If this is the case then you need to spend some time making the adjustments you need to on your part in hope that is enough to get your ex wanting to make changes so that it does work for you both

  2. Lucy

    January 3, 2020 at 6:43 am

    Thanks Shaunna. Yeah, I feel like I’m working on my UG, but I still have de desire to be “unblocked” by him. I really hope it doesn’t turn into a 6 months time blocking.. even though we don’t talk to each other ever again, it´s like all I care about seeing is that he unblocks me.. I don’t know, sometimes it´s hard thinking about the possibility that he would never unblock me…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 6:49 am

      Think of it this way, while you are blocked he is still upset about the break up – still thinking about you. And when he unblocks you, he is thinking about you but not in a negative way anymore! It just takes time, and thats something we cant control all you can do is be prepared when you are unblocked

  3. Shayla K

    January 2, 2020 at 8:44 pm

    We were casually dating for about 4 months and then he suddenly told me he doesn’t feel it anymore and that I’m acting like we are in a serious relationship which we are not. It was really painful, I did a no contact for 90 days and he reached out, saying sorry, saying that he was selfish and reminiscing on the good times we had. He didn’t really say he wants to try again with me but we met the next day and he said sorry. I was acting really cold with him so I think I might scared him off even if he wanted to ask me to be back together. The way he acts is really confusing, he kisses my head and forehead, holds my hand etc. I left the day after that and he send me a text saying “thanks for the time I spend with him, even though he didn’t deserve it”. I’m not sure if I should text him now or go into no contact again? I would be open to try this out again but his behavior makes it hard to understand if he wants it too…

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 1:21 am

      Hey Shayla yes you need to go into No Contact

  4. Jezell

    January 2, 2020 at 10:01 am

    I ended things with my boyfriend over the past week as he was strangely acting distant after initially us having a wonderful relationship. This relationship lasted 5 months. I ended it by text saying I was confused what was going on and I clearly not what he was looking for and I was to step away. He later sent me a message confessing he was to get married last year but his fiancé jilted him (possibly cheated). I never knew about this story as this was the first time I heard about it. He said he wasn’t sure he was ready for a relationship and if it was any other time he wouldn’t have a reason not to be with me as he finds me amazing, funny and attractive. We both agreed not to cut contact as we had so much in common and got on. I sent him a message wishing him happy new year and said I want to stay in contact and one day have a round of golf together. He then messaged back saying he wants to stay in touch and happy new year but he wasn’t doing much for new year. I was stupid and messaged back saying I was here if he wanted to meet up for new year. No reply. I feel stupid now. Why did I message!? I should have left it.

  5. Lucy

    January 1, 2020 at 8:17 pm

    It’s been 54 days since the guy I was dating has blocked me and hasn’t unblocked since then. It’s a ‘hard block’ from what I have learned on your entries about this, he has no social media and we have no friends in common. All I tried doing was ‘changing’ my WA picture every now and then, just to kept something new going on, although I honestly think he hasn’t sneaked to see them (as I’m blocked). I really fantasize about him texting me to know how I’m doing but I think that the scenario I’m describing is not very encouraging, right?. Many thanks for your advice.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 4:36 am

      Hi Lucy, it feels like you’re stuck but as long as you are doing the work to become Ungettable while being blocked you can’t lose. Working on yourself to be the best version of yourself is always going to benefit you, however I would say if he has not unblocked you after 6 months then it is unlikely he is going to unblock you. You should try dating when you are ready to do so, not to find someone new but to live your life while blocked by your ex

  6. Claire

    December 31, 2019 at 3:32 pm

    I left a comment here a few days ago but I’m not sure if it was read.
    I’ve downloaded the EBR E-Book but would appreciate some advice.
    My boyfriend and I were dating for 2.5 years and lived together for 2 years, very happily and without fight or arguments.

    Back on December 3rd he broke things off with me on the phone, said we were on different paths and that he didn’t want to end up our friends who recently called off the wedding because the groom felt the bride wasn’t on the same page as him. For a week I was totally catatonic, I went home to my parents’ home and he reached out once to say he had taken his things as he did not want to hurt me.

    Multiple members of his family reached out to express their shock. His mum in particular was really shocked as she said he only ever spoke highly and adoringly of me. She had no clue it was coming and in the aftermath, when she asked him why, he just kept saying he was ‘in a weird place’.

    He has a history of depressive bouts, his mum warned me about this. I had seen it myself that he would be perfectly fine and then just snap. Burst out crying, he wouldn’t be able to articulate what was wrong but we would always work through it together.
    Years before he met me, he had a long term girlfriend who didn’t treat him great, they argued loads, and she broke up with him before getting back with him only to break up again. Similarly, he was six months away from completing a degree and suddenly dropped out because he felt pressure. Again, he had a high paying job and felt there was too much pressure so he quit and took a low paying job. Recently, I have been helping him with interviews and he has moved up significantly in his roles and he has gone back to college, something he was nervous about not being able to do.

    We met up on the 10th and discussed things. My ex was sobbing crying, saying he had so much love for me, that our relationship was so good, there were no secret complaints, no one else. He said he just felt like he snapped on the 3rd and he felt that the week in between then he had felt that it was just to do it now as he didn’t feel we were on the same page.
    I admit, I want to buy a house and get engaged. Whenever we spoke about engagement he said he would do it when he had the money for a ring. On the house front, he felt that it wasn’t something he wanted. I was indifferent as I can always buy one on my own and let him pay rent. I felt like we were on the same page about these things but they had only ever been discussed in a casual manner. Nothing serious. Surprisingly, he said he wanted kids and felt I didn’t. I’m only 26 and have definitely made some comments about not wanting them, however, I don’t know how I’ll feel down the line when I’m in a better situation career wise. I was shocked as he never gave me the impression he wanted them.
    I admitted that these things weren’t deal breakers, neither the engagement or house. Similarly, I was flattered that he would even want kids with me. Nonetheless, he kept saying -through tears- that he had to do it now. That there was someone better out there for me.
    Since then, we haven’t spoken. I have initiated no contact successfully and am 21 days in. He has not reached out since but I feel he is being mindful that it is Christmas, I’m also trying to let him clear his head. I have to be honest, he was so adoring of me, a greater partner, and all-round wonderful guy, I don’t have a single complaint about him. He always seemed to feel the same which is what shocks me the most. Both our families and friends always mentioned how head over heels he was about me. However, he is stubborn and has been known to double down on decisions.

    During the Christmas period, he has been really quiet on social media. The two most recent things he posted were him doing his favorite sport with a special piece of equipment I gave him in the middle of the picture. Secondly, he posted a picture of one of our favorite movies to his Instagram story. It is a super old movie and we have a lot of history about it so he obviously made an effort to put it on.
    I’m so confused on what to do next or if there is hope. It’s just such a strange situation and so sudden.
    Any help would be welcomed.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 6:06 am

      Hey Clare, so you need to do the No Contact and read the Pro cover to cover! And over again while you formulate your plan! Prepare for all outcomes, make sure you understand the work that is needed to be done during No Contact to become Ungettable, plan your texts ahead of time so that you are ready for all possible responses form your ex. Using social media to show your progress and leave your ex feeling like they are on the outside looking in on your amazing new life without them

  7. Laura

    December 31, 2019 at 9:49 am

    If he is changing his entire life, i.e work place, living arrangements etc all since ending things with me after hes had a bad year with both myself and his personal life will he come back if he associates me with that bad time? He says he cares but is done because things got so bad, we both said and did things.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 5:55 am

      Hi Laura I can see where you would think that, but if you had a happy relationship and created positive memories then he will think of those times when he is settled and start to remember how good things were

  8. KT

    December 30, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    I am so confused. After my ex contacted me during Christmas after NC he has only responded back to my text. His text messages are short. Why would he reached out to me after 6 months but don’t maintain contact with me? I was so happy to hear from him again but I don’t know what this all means. Does he want me back or not? I don’t know if I have a chance of getting him back. I thought by him reaching out that he wanted to reconcile . But he is not saying anything to me to make me think that.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 4:54 am

      Hi KT if it was a generic holiday message then it would more likely be a politeness reply. What did your first text say that he replied to?

  9. JayJay

    December 29, 2019 at 9:58 pm

    Love reading all the articles and tips! Amazing how we still happen to mess up after reading all the information 🙂

    After seeing each other for 3+ months, my “ex” told me he wanted to start talking to me less. He had been pulling away the last month, and I knew this was because I had been putting off making the relationship official, but I was now feeling ready to commit (karma right?). A few weeks later I got upset after realizing what he meant, and we had our first fight where he told me angrily he didn’t want to date me. After an awkward few days, we began chatting again, but I’ve definitely been in the friend zone and I felt like I was doing all the initiating and reaching out. I asked a few times over a few months if I would ever get a second chance, and he was pretty nonchalant with his answer about not knowing the future, let’s just hang out and see, who knows etc. that he loves hanging and chatting with me, and thinks it’s possible to do that still (so basically friend zone, wants to keep me but not date me).

    We hung out/talked frequently, and he never talked to me about relationships, but I knew he was occasionally looking at dating sites, talking with some girls, but also had reached out to his ex whom he had broken up with twice in the past. The following month they re-blocked each other on social media and I saw a message of him saying he f***ked up and asking her to contact him back.

    I decided I wasn’t being valued, and started no contact. After he reached out I politely messaged saying I was taking time to myself, which he took well. After two weeks we had some good contact again, and it seemed to be going well, but I went over after being invited on a whim to make food with him and his family. He said he’d message the next day to make plans, but never did, so I just restarted no contact, thinking that you know what, if he is interested he will reach out. Two days later I noted that he deleted a birthday photo he had of me on social media, even though it’s been almost 4 months since we have just been “friends” and not seeing each other. Coincidentally (?) his ex and him re-followed each other later that week on social media. It’s hard for me not to see that as more than just a coincidence.

    In some ways I feel like we had a brief period of no contact, broke that and restarted good contact with each other. And now that I’ve restarted NC again (it’s been three fresh weeks), I feel like that first messed up no contact was maybe a mistake and maybe he’s just seeing a reflection of my indecisiveness I had when we were seeing each other.

    Obviously I have no choice but to continue NC, but I can’t help but wonder if that original NC was perfect, and that I should have just ignored the deletion of my photo and continued chatting and rebuilding connection instead of restarting a NC. Maybe him and his ex are chatting/working something out, but obviously I’ve been working on me for the better, and I also have to remember that they dated twice briefly and also broke up twice. But I also just feel that may be within his personality too.

    Support, encouragement, thoughts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 6:32 am

      Hi Jay your attitude and outlook is positive so well done you! and You’re right theyve tried twice and broken up twice, so unless they are working on themselves to be different people to make their relationship compatible they are going to end again. In that time you are working on yourself, and hopefully making it known to his sphere of influence so that he can see how awesome you are and eventually reach out to you because youve caught his attention. Read about the being there method if you want to get him back and he does end up in a relationship at least then you know what steps to take next. That information is on this website too

  10. KT

    December 27, 2019 at 2:14 pm

    Me ex reach out to me over Christmas after 6 months of no contact. We dated for 3 years. He was in a rebound relationship after the breakup. He sent me a text saying it’s been a long time and he wanted to check up on me to see how I am doing. It was so out of the blue. I wasn’t sure if I would ever him from him again. What should I do? Should I ask him if he’s still with the rebound and why he’s thinking of me? Is this a good sign he’s contacting me. I still love him and always wanted to get back together.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 30, 2019 at 2:55 pm

      Hi KT it is a good sign hes thinking of you and that he wants to be civil if anything. If you want him back then use this as your window to start communication but do not ask about the other woman. Act as if she does not exist. He will mention her if he is with her still or if they are broken up he will eventually throw that information in subtly as he can so you know he is single.

  11. Elaine

    December 27, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My boyfriend broke up with me on the 3rd of December, very suddenly. We have been together 2.5 years and have never had a fight, our relationship has always been very steady and we have always supported each other. He said we were on different paths in terms of houses, marriage, and kids. We met up a week later to sit down but he had clearly doubled down on his decision. He said he didn’t want a house or marriage but does want kids, he said he felt like I wanted the first two but not the second two. I said they weren’t dealbreakers and I am happy to have kids. We have never really had a discussion about these things in a serious manner so I was quite shocked. Particularly because even the week before he was picking me up from work, telling me how much he loved me, and making lots of plans for 2020 (trips to London and concerts etc). He just kept saying he felt there was a pressure, not just from me but in general. He was crying very hard and was saying he didn’t want to do this but felt like he must. He kept telling me there was someone better out there for me than him and that he hadn’t intended to do this. He said he loved me but not to wait for him. After our sit down, I initiated N/C immediately and am 17 days in. His mum dropped some of his things off at work and said he wasn’t going great. She was very shocked by it all, she was upset because he always spoked so highly of me and in an adoring manner. I have tried to focus on myself and my work. I have kept my posting on social media very light and general. He watched my stories on social media for most of the time but he hasn’t in the last few days, I’m assuming he’s muted me rather than unfollowing. He has posted a few times but not in his usual manner. He posted himself rock climbing this morning with the chalk bag I got him.

    He has a history, as his mum puts it, as falling at the last hurdle. Panicking when things get hard, dropping out of a course six months before, quitting a high paying job when he felt there was pressure. He had a long term gf before and was on the verge of proposing when she broke up with him. He had started a new degree recently and moved up in his job, things I had always supported but never pushed on them. He also had a tendency of feeling a little down in himself, maybe once a month or so but he would just say his mind got the of him. His mum had also warned me he tended to have these bouts of sadness.

    I have downloaded your book but am wondering if there is hope?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 1:04 am

      Hi Elaine, so it is good that you have the book so that you can read this during your No Contact and work on yourself during that time (read about the ungettable girl) and apply this to your lifestyle. Make sure you understand the texting phase before you reach out and plan your texts ahead of the end of your no contact

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