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317 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Stop Chasing Him?”

  1. Avatar

    Melanie

    January 22, 2020 at 7:24 pm

    Hi! My ex and I were friends for a year, after a year we began dating. We dated for 6 months. A month after our break up we got back together and then called it quits a few weeks later. We then just proceeded to hook up and talk every day as if we were dating. Recently I told him I cant do this anymore because its confusing. He agreed, he also told me that he needs time and space to figure out what he wants. I tried no contact but broke it 2 days later. I feel like I chase him and its pushing him away. Is it to late to start no contact now? What if I pushed him so hard that it won’t even work?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 7:34 pm

      Hey Melanie, it is not too late to start the no contact, but it is essential that you do not break it because it loses its effectiveness when you break it all the time.So stick with it and read more articles on this website to help you through the process especially one about being ungettable

  2. Avatar

    Nupur Pandey

    January 6, 2020 at 5:11 am

    Hey!
    Me & my ex broke up a month ago. We’ve been together for 6 long years now. The breakup was completely a shock to me. So i did all the begging, pleading, blowing up his phone for a long time. He said he loves me but doesn’t think we can work out together. He isn’t happy & can’t deal with a relationship right now. And said there’s no chance, his decision is final. Everytime i talked to him about this, he yells and says awful things.
    He used to be the sweetest & loved me so so much. We were so serious about each other.
    What should i do? Will no contact work?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 7, 2020 at 10:24 pm

      Yes No Contact will work but it is important that you stick to it!

  3. Avatar

    Katie

    January 1, 2020 at 6:50 pm

    Hi,

    My boyfriend and I of a year and a half have recently broken up. We have argued a lot over the last couple of months because I found out he’d been talking to other girls behind my back and it sent me into quite a deep depression which only got worse. The arguments were quite bad lasting for hours sometimes. Anyway, we’ve broken up and at first he said he needed space to decide what he wanted but I kept chasing him and he decided he doesn’t want me any more. He’s asked me to move out and will barely contact me. I’ve started the no contact period but I’m not convinced that it will work in this situation. He knows I’m getting help for my depression and that I’m going to work on myself and stop the arguments but he said it should have been done months ago, what can I do? Is it a lost cause? I love him and I just want to make it work.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 3, 2020 at 5:20 am

      Hey Katie so it sounds like you do need to spend this time working on yourself and taking the help to work through your depression. When you have done that you can reach out to your ex and see what happens but the most important part is that you get yourself strong. It is unfair that you are made to feel like this was your doing when your ex is the one who is speaking to other girls, and I am assuming the way you said this, it was not platonic friendship conversations. If you work on yourself and be the best version of yourself, even just better than how you are feeling now that is a huge goal, but do it for you, you deserve to be happy

  4. Avatar

    Amelia

    December 18, 2019 at 7:44 am

    Hi,

    I have been tlaking to a guy for 9 months hes a few years older than me. We do a lot of things together we hang out pretty often. We are sexual. He says we arent friends with benefits, but he doesnt want a relationship. He says im his girl. He still talks to other girls, which he tells me I have nothing to worry about or get upset over. We got into an argument a few days ago because I was telling him he has so many friends that are girls and this and that. It was my insecurities kicking in. Its been so long that we have been talking and I dont know what to do anymore. Im not sure if he is even worth it anymore. If he doesnt want a relationship but he texts and calls me all the time he is almost all the time initiating the conversations. Its been almost a week and I havent heard from him from the argument. I told him to have a nice life and I was done with him. It was out of anger. Can you please tell me what I should do.
    Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 22, 2019 at 5:05 pm

      Hi Amelia, so if you want this guy to be your boyfriend then you need to stop being his friends with benefits even though he isnt calling it that, it is what you are. Hes talking to other girls and you have nothing to worry about because… you’re not his girlfriend. So go into a no contact where you ignore him for a period of time if he does not chase you then he is showing that he is not going to commit to you without it being a case of having to show him you are the best girl for him that is around, read about the ungettable girl on this page, while also applying the being there method to your situation because you know he is talking to other girls. No Contact should be around 21-30 days if you can do enough work to show you are no long interested in being friends with benefits but want an official relationship with him

  5. Avatar

    Alessia

    December 17, 2019 at 5:34 am

    Hi,
    I have been talking to a guy for 9 months, we hang out are sexual talk almost everyday. Hes the one who most of the time initiates our conveesations or phone calls. Some times he goes days without talking to me. If I stay distant he will too. If I call him once he will call me 4/5 times. He still talks to other girls he tells me its nothing to worry about. I am very insecure and I always bother him about other girls. He says he doesnt want a relationship, but we do all the relationship things. One day he acts all loving and caring and the next he acts kind of cold. It seems like he likes me and wants me, but might be scared. The other day we got in a really big argument, I was bugging him about his friends that are girls. He got mad at me I told him I never wanted to speak to him again and I told him to have a nice life. Its been 4 days he hasnt talked to me yet. He usually never passes 3 days without talking to me. Im not sure what to do im scared that I screwed it up this time. What do I do?
    Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 22, 2019 at 10:41 am

      Hi Alessia, so if you want this guy to be your boyfriend, stop doing things that you should only do when youre in a relationship. I know people get involved sexually without a relationship but when you go to that before you are official it makes it harder to get to the point you want it to be. He’s told you, he does not want a relationship – then stop sleeping with. If you want to be with him then you need to show you are changing the dynamics of your relationship how you are setting boundaries, if you are just friends, then juts be friends. As for the insecurity, this is not going to stop if he becomes your boyfriend, its there inside you not him. So spend some time working on some self confidence and esteem so that you know who ever gets to be with you is going to know how great you are so no one else is going to get their attention

  6. Avatar

    Michele

    December 14, 2019 at 3:46 am

    Hi there,
    I started to see a guy and we both said we wanted to just have fun and nothing to serious, which I was happy about. But the more time I spent with him I could see instantly I really liked him and he was becoming a bit more open with me which he found very difficult because of nasty separation that was involving financial stress for him. We were spending more time together but only lasted 7 weeks but seemed much longer. Then he said he was getting worried and he was getting feelings and he said he knew and could see I had them too even though I never mentioned it once.
    Of course I was so upset because I was happy with how things were but I also realised that I did have feelings for him and I said that I think I was falling in love even in that short time.
    But he said he needed time on his own to sort out what was going on. We chatted a few times and he said he wasn’t doing great and wasn’t well mentally and was struggling. I tried to be there but he just kept pushing me away and basically told me to leave him alone. But the idiot I was I just kept trying to see if he was ok and I kept feeling about how I felt towards him because I missed him so much. I found it all really hard and upsetting.
    Then one day out of the blue he said he met someone else and went on a date and slept with her so when I heard that I was totally upset but then he said he lied about sleeping with her but did go on a date and he said he said all this for me to leave him alone.
    One day he agreed to see me so that I could just say bye and leave him to it and move on. As soon as I saw him the feelings were just there and then he said he met someone else who understands him and it’s more then just sex it’s sonwthinh that could be serious which hurt me so much. He said he would totally block me and I said that was fine. He said to me you don’t love me and I don’t know what I’m talking about. We did carry on texting and I slowly text him less for my own sake as he was just ignoring half the messages because I just felt so much rejection. Then recently I text him to see if he was ok and he messaged back and called me. Asking me have I missed him and that he was so sorry for how he behaved and was harsh and he missed me. And could we meet but I wasn’t available too. I felt so happy that I was taking to him again and hearing what he was saying. He asked me did I really mean what I said about loving him and I asked why it doesn’t matter now and he said it does I need to know so I said yes. And asked if I had met anyone else which I havnt.
    But then we argued and what he does is he goes quiet when I start trying to talk to him because he does find it hard and he even said to me you know I don’t talk. So after going mad and getting inpatient he blocked me. I’ve asked to meet him just once so that I can finally say bye and wish him well and move on. I’m so confused because I feel like I’m holding on not just because of how I feel but I do think there’s something there. I know it sounds stupid and i promise I’m not deluded. I can accept when a guy isn’t interested and walk away but with him it’s different. But how long can I carry on like this. I have no interest in meeting anyone at all because of the feelings I have and feel like they just aren’t going anywhere. I have tried to date others but I don’t enjoy and it’s always just one date because all I think about is him.
    I just need some advice please help!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 15, 2019 at 10:29 pm

      Hi Michele, so even though you are blocked you still need to go into a no contact and work on some time to change your exes image of you! So work on becoming Ungettable so that you can be the best version of yourself and then from there you can attempt to re attract your ex taking things slowly and making sure that you end conversations first and get him curious in what you want to say using the texts that Chris suggests through the process and work up the value ladder

  7. Avatar

    Help me please

    December 6, 2019 at 2:23 am

    Hi,

    So my ex and I broke up 7 months ago, I technically ended our relationship (after being together 2 years) after he was neglecting me and just shutting me out. this was a month before i found out i was pregnant. When i did tell him i was pregnant he freaked out and our fights got worst and it seemed he completely shut me out, like when i would try and talk to him, beg him or anything he wouldnt say anything and just sit with a blank face as if he wasnt there. This is my first breakup and I didnt handle it well. for 5 months i was chasing after him, fighting with him as i felt he chose his new found friends over me, i was so hurt as i had been there for him and was easily thrown away for friends and not even long time friends! anyways so for 5 months i was chasing, begging and pleading, fighting non stop with him. we finally got to a point where he joined me for an appointment (after i decided to back off and give him space for 3 weeks) and we got to talking after the appointment where he told me there was no chance of us getting back together, he said he felt i didnt trust him and he cant trust me as well. after that maybe a week passed by where he texted my mother saying i was still messaging him (it was about the child) and he felt i was finding excuses to talk to him when he was trying to move on, i was making it hard for him. how could he already be wanting to move on? anyways i decided to commit to the no contact rule, it’s been a month and the only time i’ve seen him was to drop off paperwork from the hospital. I feel like there is absolutely no chance of getting him back, as if he’s already seen this ugly side of me during our fights for the 5 months and has his mind made up that he’s done with me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 10:54 pm

      Hey there, so you need to work on your emotional control as hard as that may be and you have to do something called limited no contact where you only speak about the child and arrange contact times etc. The rest of the time you need to appear like you are focusing on your own life and not on getting him back. Look up the Ungettable girl articles that Chris has done this will help you understand what I mean by doing your own thing for some time and then attempt to talk to your ex again after 45 days limited no contact

  8. Avatar

    Serah

    December 5, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    Hy.. We’re both in medical school and he seniors me with a year… At first he was just a friend… A very wonderful, kind and amazing friend… Then he started showing me he had feelings for me… He saw me as a very perfect person and he wanted me at all cost.. But the new academic session was about to start and we’ld have to focus in school… So I told him I was not ready for a relationship yet.. We decided to remain friends for the mean time but things went so fast and we just couldn’t be just friends… We started going out and doing all sorts of things… Then we were to resume school.. But since I was already used to everything we did together, I became so needy… I got angry whenever he didn’t come ND visit me after his IT in the hospital… I did all sort of things out of my neediness… Then he told me he needed some space… That he had to focus in school and he wants me to do the same… Then the same guy that saw me as a perfect creation and always wanted to have me now Just doesn’t want to see me anymore…Just this evening, I told him how much I love him, how sorry I’m for being needy and how I really want thing to work out between us during holidays bla bla bla… Guess what he replied… He said that it’s a totally normal thing to feel that way, that he understands since how I feel since he felt that way when he was with his ex and I should just try to forget about it and focus in school… I just couldn’t cry in front of him… But it really hurt me… I started remembering all the times he told me he’ll make sure things work out even when we’re in school that he just couldn’t imagine losing me… I just want him to feel that way again… I want him to see me as perfect again… I want him to tell me how beautiful and intelligent I am again… I’ll try the No Contact rule… I guess that’s the best thing to do… Infact I’ll not text him again even during holidays…I’m worth much more than having to chase a guy, when there are so many who want me… I’ll just let things unfold as they should… If he doesn’t text or call me anymore, then that is it… I’ll just try to not ever be the needy but ungettable girl… Thanks for reading.. And lest I forget, this is an amazing article.. Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 10:22 pm

      Hey Serah, thank you, Chris articles are amazing and so useful so make sure you do some more reading while you are on the website you’ll be surprised how useful they are. And as for your ex and the journey to maybe getting him back, the more you work on becoming Ungettable the better your chances will be but also following the program will give you, your best chance if that is what you want for yourself. Good Luck

  9. Avatar

    Hope

    December 4, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    I’ve been seeing this guy since lastyear 2018 around October. Everything was going well, the last festive season he was so consistent, little did I know he wasn’t over his ex (whom he dated for 6years on and off several times). I’ve been there for him, supportive, motivating and encouraging. In everything he was going through I was there to stick by him but every chance he would get he would just drop me just like that for his ex which when it wouldn’t work out with her he would come back to me of which has began to be exhausting. I continued being there for him irrespective. A month ago I told him how I felt and what I wanted (me being his woman) and he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Some few days ago we got into an argument which didn’t end well, he told me hurtful words which I never expected he would. since the day we fought I haven’t spoken to him even though I want to because I miss him, there’s certain things I don’t understand till today. So I decided I won’t talk to him especially for the way he treated me. So I don’t know what to do in this situation 🙁

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 4, 2019 at 10:42 pm

      Hey Hope so youre doing the right thing not talking to him for some time and you may find that you wont get an apology for some time. If you decide you want to get him back you will need to follow the process and make sure you read plenty.

  10. Avatar

    Hope

    November 26, 2019 at 11:47 am

    I have been trying for
    3 months to get
    Back with him since I broke up with him. Found a couple of
    Messages in his phone to other women. I begged and wanted to work things out he didn’t but wanted me around called all the time wanted me with him but told me he was emotionally unavailable he didn’t want
    To
    Be with anyone. I stared the no contact rule
    6 days ago he wrote me yesterday over a tablet he has of
    Mine and wanted me email
    Password and I wasn’t going to give it to him he said I’m sure you found someone new and I’m happy doe you you need to be free from me. Once I didn’t give him what he wanted he called me a bitch and blocked me later he text he was really sorry he was exhausted and sleep deprived I didn’t text
    Him back now I have always been there for him never not answered a text but now I’m not
    Doing anything.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 26, 2019 at 6:49 pm

      Hi Hope, so have you completed a full no contact? IF not then you need to do this first to give your ex some time away from you but also you need to learn how to show some self respect, the way he spoke to you and then apologised and used being tired as an excuse is not acceptable, he is not 3 years old. If you still want him back then you need to start the program from day one of No Contact stick with it and follow the program. Reading plenty on this website to help you along the way

  11. Avatar

    JC

    November 18, 2019 at 5:19 pm

    Hi,

    So my boyfriend of 5 years recently broke up with me nearly 2 months ago now. throughout our relationship we had our pitty arguments like everyone else has. We was currently saving to buy a house in the new year and to start a family. Which we bothered talked about and he especially was looking forward to this as well. One mornings he basically said he had enough, he didn’t want to fight for our relationship because he thought we had tried and tried in the past for (me) to ‘change’ which by that he just says my attitude. However no one is prefect. Throughout our whole relationship even to the very end he used to tell me every day he loves me kisses me cuddled me just like a normal relationship. From day 1 of the break up I tried to ring and get him to speak to me to sort things out I even tried going round face to face to see him wrote him a letter, however he blocked me but I kept finding my way to speak to him as I needed answers as to way he said all the things he wanted for our future to now doesn’t want anymore. This is what is has been like for the past 6weeks and each time I speak to him hes just horrible and tell me to ‘move on’ and that he doesn’t want to see or speak to me. however, I have asked him over the phone if he still loves me and he says yes and ask him how he can get over it so quickly but he says he isn’t. but I can’t get my head around if he still loves me and isn’t over me why doesn’t he want to speak to me does it mean he doesn’t miss me and not bothered. How he can throw 5 years away like that. Throughout his time I have heard of someone of our mutual friends that he felt pressured which I think he meant about the house next year. I just don’t know what to do I miss and love him I just want to be able to talk to him and sort things out but he won’t.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 23, 2019 at 12:49 pm

      Hi JC, so based on what you have said, you need to start and follow a full No Contact where you do not reach out or speak to your ex at all, and also ignore anything if he reaches out to you too. During which time you need to work on becoming Ungettable so that you can be the best version of yourself ready for when your ex does speak to you again. Following this process is going to give you, your best chance of success if you read the materials and follow the advice properly.

  12. Avatar

    Anne

    November 3, 2019 at 6:02 am

    Hi so I was in a relationship with this guy since September 2018. Everything was going well, it was perfect like any other honeymoon phase. In late April, we got into a big fight and that was when he broke up with me. He said he was tired of the frequent fights, and that he acknowledges that I’m perfect, that I’m pretty, smart, kindest blah blah blah but he just couldn’t bring himself to want me that way for some reason he does not know. I was so desperate that time and he still hits me up. We were both so confused. After 1 month of on and off, I decided to go cold turkey on him, fixed unresolved problems and told him that I’ll be away until my feelings are gone. He didn’t quite liked the idea and asked to be together again.

    We were together again for five months until Nov 1. I had anxiety last Oct 31 so I had to go to their house at 11PM and I think that set him off. The next day, he won’t talk to me so I was crying to him about how I don’t feel appreciated anymore and why is he okay while I’m literally hurting. All he ever says is stop and I could feel the annoyance in his voice so I dropped the call out of frustration and he never called again so I did the next day. And that’s when he finally broke up with me, he said we were too young, that he wanted to be free and his tired. He said he still loves me and is going to miss me but we should end it there.

    My last message to him was I asked if I was a good person to him and that did I ever made him feel better in which he responded always. We’re gonna see each other in Wednesday to return our stuff. He seems to be so sure of his decision and want nothing to do with me, will no contact work for me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 4:51 pm

      Hi Anne, so yes it will work but you need to do the work properly, make sure you read up on what No Contact is and what you need to do to make it successful and use the information in this website to help you through the process and make sure you take it step

  13. Avatar

    Angelica

    November 2, 2019 at 3:31 am

    Hi,

    I met this guy during summer through a friend and this guy ran a summer baseball program which was great for my son. He spoked to me about the high school where he coaches— my son needed a school so it worked great for us. We starting talking more and more, and soon enough he was coming over— he texted me non-stop everyday, and always wanted to see me. Gave me all 9-yards of being into me.
    Problems started when he began making plans to stop by but would cancel or simply not bring them up. Soon enough the text became sporadic and the response of me wanting more of a relationship was an issue.
    His texting has now become almost non-existent, will the NC rule still apply? Does this mean not answering a single text I receive from him?

    Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 2, 2019 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Angelica yes NC can work and yes you ignore all his messages for 30 days. Then you can reply as a friend

  14. Avatar

    Hannah

    October 23, 2019 at 4:26 am

    Hi,
    So my ex boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago. He broke up with me. We were only together for a few months, from the end of 2018. It was truly something special, something i believe is rare within people. It was an instant natural connection, we were comfortable with one another, it was easy going and we had great sexual chemistry. It was so mutual and it felt like we both loved one another equally.

    Then, his dad died who lives in england. we both live in australia, but he lives here because he got a woman pregnant while he was travelling so he is here permantly now.
    So, he went off to england and when he left he pretty much broke up with me. It was abrupt, he found out and then jumped on a plane 2 days later. He said it was because he didnt know when we was coming back and that he wasnt sure how all of this was going to effect him.
    I was upset, obviously and i became ‘needy’. I was messaging him a lot of telling him how much i loved him and blah blah blah, sending long messages.
    I didnt want to lose this man.
    He came back 3 months later and we started seeing eachother again but he was greiving and he just wasnt the same, but our connection wasnt lost. It was still there. He use to say he just couldnt give me what i needed and that he just wasnt happy (feeling depressed)

    Since then, he has been up and down with me and now a few months down the line we arent together. But have still been talking from time to time and even having sex very rarely. I can tell what we have is still there.
    Ive done the NC rule previously, and it worked but then i stopped and it all went to shit again.

    This man tells me that he wont ever be able to get back to how he use to be, and he would say its because of everything thats happened.
    But as i reflect on my behaviour towards him over the last few months and while he was in england im starting to believe its my behaviour, not the excuse of external factors(his dad and his general life).
    Also, he seems much better and happier with life. It doesnt appear to me that he is a depressed sack that just wants to sit on the couch, like he use to be when he first came back to Aus.

    I love this guy and i know that what we have is still there. I was so perfect in his eyes before all of this, I’ve never been treated better.
    Is their potential in this to get him back? Im going to implment the NC from today, again. to see how that goes. But I honestly just want this man to chase me again and to see me how he first saw me, what do i do next after a substantial amount of time has passed from the NC?

    Thanks for readin

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 24, 2019 at 9:31 pm

      Hi Hannah, so yes do the NC again and this time stick with it to a full 30 days and appear through social media to be living your life and even have the potential casual date here and there too. And DO NOT HAVE SEX with him if he is not your boyfriend. I know it is easy when you have feelings but if you are giving him all of you before he needs to earn “boyfriend privileges” he isn’t going to give you what you want

  15. Avatar

    Del

    October 10, 2019 at 4:57 am

    I have been reading this website for some time already. I and my ex were in a relationship for two years. We seldom fight or argue since he is the submissive type. Everything started when I felt bad and confused with my ex for ghosting me for two weeks without explanation (I’m pretty sure he is not cheating or any, its just that I could describe him as a confused man with unidentified direction, he’s done it before but in shorter number of days) so I asked space for my boyfriend I did not specify for how long but it lasted for 30 days to be exact before I reached out to him (At that time, I had no idea there was such thing as NC). For those days I was away, I spent time travelling and hanging out with my friends. I posted in social media of the things I’ve been busy with. One day,I asked him to see me and during that encounter, he told me that he thought we’ve already broken up. He told me he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Pushing me away. I begged him not to leave me. After two weeks, I asked him to see me again if he thinks he is ready to discuss matters. I made sure that I looked and smell good. I’ve brought a positive mood throughout. During that meet up, I gave my explanation and apology. He told me he made up his mind not to pursue the relationship because “We’re too different, the things we want are also different and I do not see any future with it.” I did maintain my composure during that moment even if it hurts so much inside and made it seem that I will be okay with whatever his decision would be. For him that was closure, but to me, it wasn’t because there were a lot of things weren’t explained, including his reason. I did not ask for an explanation because it would seem that I am kind of begging once again. I was so hurt that my mom messaged him about the pain I am in. So he sent me an inspirational text pic. I asked him how is he but did not reply. Deep inside I would still want to fight for our relationship. Any thought and advice what should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 12, 2019 at 8:40 am

      Hi Del, so you need to ask yourself are you compatible, as he said you want different things… such as? Children? Marriage? Career goals?

      If you want to rebuild your connection you need to change your efforts to get him back, just to get him to talk to you and building up the frequency of the conversations you have over weeks, and get to a stage where you are talking daily and flirting again etc. If he thinks you have nothing in common make sure you’re doing things that you know he’s interested in

  16. Avatar

    Cate Scott

    October 5, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    Hi Chris. I broke up with my boyfriend about 8 months ago. We’ve been in contact and talking, and I told him I loved him and wanted him back, I just needed time because I found out I was pregnant with his baby. And recently, he’s been seeing a new girl. And he said he wants to give her a chance and that he loves me. But he’s not in love with me anymore. We did fight and argue a lot after we broke up and during the relationship, but things did get a lot better. But I’ve tried no contact, but he always tries to talk to me everyday. And I had to live to Texas and he had to move to New Jersey. And he told me recently he feels that our story will continue one day and that he feels i’ll be his future wife one day. But he seems to really like the girl. He said they are not dating, they are talking but they hangout a lot and she’s posting him all the time with her. But when I say I love him he usually says it back. I really want him back and to have a family with him, and the baby is due next month. He even asks me if I’m jealous sometimes and he always watches my stories and replies to them and calls me beautiful and he says things like, “that’s one of the reasons I love you.” We has a rough break up and split, but I would really like to make this work. How do I fix this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 5, 2019 at 8:18 pm

      Hi Cate, so you’ve been talking to your ex and building a connection you are goign to have to move to meeting in romantic settings and flirting with your ex and then see how he responds to this. I would increase the flirting gradually and meet up for drinks or meals slowly too. You need to work yourself up the value chain again where he wants to be with you. You need to be the better woman out of you both too. So make sure you work on being the Ungettable girl.

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    Teresa

    September 24, 2019 at 12:29 pm

    I’ve been dating this guy for few weeks, everything was going great until I started being needy. I know that it freaked him out and I realized what I have done. I apologized for my behavior especially being so early on dating and he accepted my apology and said he hopes everything goes smoothly between us from now on. However, he’s still acting distant. He doesn’t text me as much, doesn’t call anymore, and sometimes doesn’t even replied to my texts at all. No more good mornings and good night texts. I noticed the shift in him. I just don’t understand why would he mentioned that he hopes for things to get better between us if he’s going to be acting distant towards me? I have been sort of keeping my distant but after reading this I think I might just not reach out to him at all. I’m just afraid he will forget about me especially being so early on dating.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 26, 2019 at 9:04 pm

      Hi Teresa, what he may be doing is pulling back because you’re too available to him. So yes I do suggest pulling back and letting him chase you again.

  18. Avatar

    Ashley Medeiros

    September 17, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years, we have been arguing for the past 2 month consistently .. I am ready for marriage and kids with him he is 4 years young then me but he has always said that he sees a future with me that he wants kids and marriage just were both not financially ready He is a very blunt type of guy and always said if he wasn;’t up for our relationship that he wouldn’t keep me around.. He has always been a boyfriend who likes his space and I like to be around a lot often. the last 3 weeks hes started to pull away and has started saying that he isn’t sure of our future that we’re always arguing about spending time together … he has been making time for me but its been 2 hours here and 2 hours there and conversation through text is horrible. hes texting me like a friend would. He claims he is trying but that its hard and that he never expected for us to be in this situation Through out these past couple of weeks he kept saying that he didn’t want to let me go because he was scared of regretting his decision … . Last week I kind of had enough of it so I asked to see him, he replied 7 hours later saying he might have some time for me.. I panicked and called him and (he actually answered his phone which he hasn’t been) asked if he still loved me he freaked out saying that he just told me that he did a couple of days ago I expressed that I am worried because I feel like hes giving up and he said that I was pushing him away and for me to leave him alone. .. That was 6 days ago he hasn’t messaged me since … I have tried to contact him he hasn’t responded … So 4 days ago I sent him a text message breaking up with him in the text I basically expressed that he is treating my feelings and our future as a joke and that I deserved better, he never responded to that at all. I miss him and I want him in my life … what should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 18, 2019 at 11:28 am

      Hi Ashley, even though you broke up with him and want him back. the fact hes ignoring your messages I would NC him for 30 days and work on yourself in that time. Try to work out why the arguments kept happening (on your part) and work on those things. The NC may be what he needs to miss you enough to want to work on things properly

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    Marie

    September 3, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, it was an impulse decision on his part, and he suffers from depression. We had been together for 11 months. He was going through one of his low points and he was distancing himself from everyone and only wanted to do things alone. 

    A member of his circle of influence convinced him that if he didn’t want to do things with me that he didn’t want to be with me in the long run. The next day he broke up with me impulsively and said he plans on moving (2 hours away)next year when his lease is up and didn’t see me being the girl for him since he was going to move.Our relationship had been great, all smiles and laughs and only two fights, so I don’t understand.

    I immediately started no contact after he returned my things, it’s been 12 days. When we said goodbye he said “If you ever need anything or need to talk, i’ll be around for the next few months.” Since this was an impulse decision, is there a chance he’ll regret it?
    Besides no contact I have been active doing fun things: kayaking (something he got me into), going to barbecues and firework shows and posted on facebook to show these things (but not excessively posting). I didn’t post anything about the breakup and I have been working out twice a day since. I’ve also been socializing with some new gentlemen (not posting about this on social media), just to help with the “moving on without moving on” task.

  20. Avatar

    Lei

    August 29, 2019 at 10:38 am

    My ex and I were together for almost 9 years. We’ve been together since we were 16. I was her first girl. Everything was magical. We lived together for 6 years, until I had to go for a 3-month business travel away from home and when I came back he was already seeing another girl, in short he cheated on me with his officemate. When I discovered it, I asked him if he loves me, he said that he don’t know but he is sure that he loves the other woman. It was so devastating. He chose the girl over me and is still seeing her after we broke up last June 2019. Though he said that they ended what they have, and that he wanted to stay single, I can see that he is trying to win the other girl back and totally ignore me. He even moved to a place near the girl’s place. I attempted to do No contact however I broke the rule. I have been chasing him for more than 2 months now. Help me please. Will he still come back even if he is already in love with the other woman?

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