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154 thoughts on “What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Actually Meant (Video)”

  1. Dimple

    December 8, 2015 at 6:26 am

    Hello Chris,

    I am so glad I found this website. It is a very good information. What if ex boyfriend said I have no feeling for you. it won’t work. I don’t see future of us. Do you think if I have change to get back my ex if he really mean to this.

    1. Chris Seiter

      December 8, 2015 at 2:12 pm

      Well, to verify that he means what he says you should try implementing the actions vs. words theory that I talk about in the video.

  2. Joanne

    December 8, 2015 at 4:21 am

    Hi Chris, My ex broke up with me about 2 month ago. He told me he don’t know why he have to end this relationship and he don’t if he feel lost or tired as we always fight for a past thing and he need to focus on his study. He also told me, he hope everything will back to ‘honeymoon’ stage again but he have to let me go and said he don’t want to wasted my time as I told him, i will wait for him no matter how long. After 2 weeks I request him to call me and he did, he told me he feel miserable and sad after broke up but he have to let me go. He blocked me in whatapps and telegram. It’s have been 3 week we NC each other. He is a stubborn person, no matter how he love me or miss me, he wont be the 1st to call me. What should I do? I want to get him back

    1. Joanne

      December 14, 2015 at 1:07 am

      Hi Chris, On the next day he knows that im going back to my hometown (actually my fligh is on yesterday ). He text me “Have a safe flight home. Have a good holiday”. And I reply him “thanks”. On that night I text him and ask him to guess what I saw in my hometown and he reply “?”. I send him a photo of magnum ice cream with white chocolate almond favour. This ice cream is our favorite. But he didn’t reply me. Do I send a wrong text?

    2. Joanne

      December 11, 2015 at 2:57 pm

      Thanks Chris for the reply. 2 days ago is end of my 30 days NC, I text him at FB “Hey, I just watch suit season 1. Its a nice how.I rmb u say harvey Specter is ur idol. hope all is well”. But no reply from him. Today I text him again to remind him that his parcel still with me and if he free we can meet to past the parcel for him. He reply and said “All right. Hope all is well to you too. I never reply him as I dont know what should I text back and I dont want make it worst since he reply my message. My question is, is it a good sign since he reply me? What he mean hope all is well to you too? What should I do or text for the next step? I hope you can help me. Thanks

    3. Chris Seiter

      December 11, 2015 at 7:05 pm

      Wait a week and try again. It sounds like he is still upset over the breakup.

      You need to prepare a really great text. Something that will make him laugh or feel good.

    4. Chris Seiter

      December 8, 2015 at 4:01 pm

      I don’t see a problem with contactin ghim first after NC.

  3. May

    December 8, 2015 at 1:40 am

    Dear Mr. Seiter,
    I am nearing the end of my NC period, and thanks to your advice and suggestions, I’ve really been able to focus.
    During my NC, I even managed to catch up on most of my school work: thanks to you and your advice!
    I really appreciate it.
    Before I go back into contact, I had a question.
    When my ex and I broke up, his reasons were, “We barely see each other anymore. We never have time to talk. It feels like I barely know you anymore. I can’t trust you anymore.”
    He said he couldn’t trust me anymore saying “How could I trust someone who made plans with another guy while they’re in a relationship?”
    What really happened was, my guy friend who had a crush on me asked to go out for coffee sometime, and I answered with a maybe since I didn’t wanna hurt his feelings. However, I worded it slightly wrong, and he thought that I was the one who had asked my guyfriend.
    I’ve read your articles on how to regain the ex’s trust, and it said cheating was the biggest sin in a relationship.
    Does the above story count as cheating, and what does my ex really want judging from his reasons of breaking up?
    And also do you have any suggestions on how to become emotionally close to my ex again when I barely see him at school?
    Thankyou so much.

  4. Zana

    December 7, 2015 at 8:20 pm

    I love your videos, I always look forward to them! I hope you keep them up, because they’re so fun to watch and are very informative.

    I commented on another post a few weeks ago and my question is in reference to this video… what if your ex says “we won’t be getting back together” after 3 months of not being together? Is his mind made up at this point?

    We were together for 6.5 years and we broke up almost 5 months ago, I’ve been in NC since he said this and I was in NC in the first month of our break up. Break up was totally out of the blue and he hasn’t given me a reason for it.

    Hope I can get some insight with this! Thank you in advance.

    1. Zana

      December 8, 2015 at 7:21 pm

      He texted on and off with a few inside jokes, he added me back on instagram – to have a nose around my pics I think. But this was all before he said “we won’t be getting back together”. I don’t really know what to make of his actions – he’s hard to read and he kinda acted like nothing was wrong when he was messaging me with funny pics etc. He was usually the one to start a conversation, but he would then reply with one word answers to my replies to him.

      I never cheated on him or anything like that to cause the break up, I feel very lost with this one. I’ve been in NC for over a month now, since he said that. We don’t have each other on social media anymore again either. Feel very helpless here.

    2. Chris Seiter

      December 8, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      I am glad to hear that.

      Well what have his actions said?

  5. Alli (Can't Lose Hope)

    December 7, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    Hi Chris!

    I have one more question, sorry to keep asking! So I completed my 30 day no contact successfully, reached out asking how things were going with a new startup company he was working on right when we broke up, and got (what I think) is a positive response. He said “Hey Al, everything is good. I hope you’re doing well too.” (Al is my nickname, so that was sweet of him).

    My question is, I have furniture at his place, and keys to his house, and he hasn’t asked for the key back or mentioned getting the furniture at all…these are all good signs, right? That perhaps he still doesn’t know what he wants? When he broke up with me he said “he was sure this was his final decision” but somehow I don’t believe that.

    1. Alli (Can't Lose Hope)

      December 8, 2015 at 3:00 pm

      Well, I haven’t asked for them back and he hasn’t asked either, but my no contact is over.
      I don’t want to ask for them in case he still hasn’t made up his mind about things being final, I assumed HE would ask for the key back if he was sure he didn’t want me to have it.

    2. Chris Seiter

      December 8, 2015 at 2:17 pm

      Thats worth breaking no contact for… those things by the way.

  6. Ursula

    December 7, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    Hey Chris,
    You probably don’t remember but I left a comment already when I was on the day 16 of my NC and I *self-fived* myself, I didn’t say anything specific about my situation although something interesting occured.
    So after a break up I became a texting GNAT and made few mistakes like being desperate that pushed my ex further away, essentially because of that he started to ignore me (I already understand his point).
    After that I applied the NC rule and kept it for 31 days now (today included). He didn’t try to reach me at all. I wanted to text my ex today although I found out that he all of sudden blocked me on instagram (We’re not friends on fb since the breakup, I needed space from the green dot next to his name). Now this is extremely surprising since he didn’t do that for the entire month of not talking so something must have pushed him to do that.
    I already have few scenarios where the worst case is him finding another gf and trying to hide it from me, although nothing new appeared in his photos (Yes, I checked from my friend’s account #stalker), and the best case scenario is him visiting my instagram account, seeing the incredible amount of fun I had and weight I lost (6 kg, yay <3) and getting a huge rage because of how well I am doing without him (the contrast of how miserable I was when he broke up with me) because that's how awesome I am. NOTE: Girls need ego boosts too ;).
    Now the idea that also crossed my mind is that he was maybe trying to provoke me. I am honestly not sure if he would be into such mind games, but who knows… Anyway, he blocked me on the day 30 of complete NC and I think that if I texted him now even though my NC is technically finished he would think that it was the block that made me text him, that would make him realise I was checking his instagram and that he has advantage over him. I do not want to give him that satisfaction as well as make him think I lost control. So far I decided to make my NC slightly longer (45 days). First of all to make him miss me slightly more (if the best case scenario is true), Second of all, not to give him the satisfaction of provoking me to text him and I don't want to give him the feeling that he has control and somehow the block affected my balance.
    At least the fact he blocked me gives me a sign that he's not entirely indifferent towards me.
    What do you think about it, Chris? Would you do anything differently in my case?
    Any word of advice for a girl that feels as if she was having a mind/strategy battle with her ex? 😀

    PS. I am afraid that the new Star Wars movie will be poor. I am a huge fan of the series so I am simply afraid it will be as disappointing as the Hobbit was for me. In comparison to the Lord of The Rings movie, of course. Thoughts on that?

    Cheers <3

    1. Ursula

      December 8, 2015 at 3:24 pm

      Hey, actually, nevermind.
      I initiated contact today with a friendly text message and he blocked me on fb right after he received the message.
      Well if this is how he treats people he claimed to ‘love’ even during the break up then I guess I do not need such person in my life.
      Year long NC applied from now on.

      Well I am very excited about the new Star Wars too, although after The Hobbit I learned to manage my expectations, I’d rather leave the theatre positively surprised than disappointed 🙂

    2. Chris Seiter

      December 7, 2015 at 3:34 pm

      No way… I think its going to be AWESOME (Star Wars)

      Though I agree that the hobbit sucked.

      Whats your reasoning behind the 45 days again?

  7. Lost

    December 7, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I just want to say that I have bought your ex Boyfriend recovery pro and also the texting bible 🙂 I find it very insightful, thank you so much!

    I cheated on my ex Boyfriend a few months back, and I really want him back. It has been almost 2 months since our breakup, and he still hates me. I have done the NC rule for 21 days. My friends (they had been cheated on before) told me the best way to get him back is to show care and concern. However the no contact rule seems to do the complete opposite as he became more cold and it seemed to make him more adamant about not taking me back.

    His birthday is coming and I have since gone into an NC again, not sure how many days I should this time. It would be day 15 of NC on his birthday. In this case of cheating, should I wish him on his birthday? He told me he had wanted nothing more to do with me and not to contact him anymore. He is always telling me not to text him anymore and to stop replying, maybe because I have been annoying. His actions do seem to match his words, as he really did not contact me during NC. I’m afraid that not wishing him would all the more make him feel like I really don’t care.

    Please help!

    1. Lost

      December 8, 2015 at 10:58 pm

      Yes I have prepared a couple of messages that I think may hit him with strong emotions. However, it is really difficult to find a memory purely about fun as you mentioned not to move to a romance memory too soon. His love language is in physical touches, thus I feel that the purely fun dates may not be as impactful when I reminisce with him through texts. Can I recall a memory that is mixed fun with romance?

      Also, will it matter if I use a memory before the cheating occured like such as the start of our relationship (our first date, all the firsts we did together) versus a memory after the cheating?

    2. Lost

      December 7, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Thank you for your reply Chris!

      He is somewhat similar to you, he does not think that he is able to forgive such betrayal. I would like to show him that I am capable of change, but he says they are all just words and he doesn’t believe me anymore. I have tried telling him to wait and let me prove it to him, swearing off clubs and alcohol, wanting to show him my messages on my phone and letting him know where I am until the trust is gained back, but he said he does not want that and would rather find someone else.

      Any advice you could give on how I should go about getting him back?

    3. Chris Seiter

      December 8, 2015 at 4:03 pm

      Do you have a good first text prepared?

    4. Chris Seiter

      December 7, 2015 at 3:35 pm

      Thanks for the puchases!

      Nope no wish of a happy birthday.

  8. U

    December 7, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    He just unblocked me awhile ago and gave me another chance. But I don’t know what to do to repair our relationship. Trying to get him to make an effort to repair our relationship is totally out of the question as I just barely got him to give me another chance. It all depends on me now. He doesn’t like it when I text him constantly so I plan on texting him only a few times a day. However, I don’t know what to text him in order to hopefully connect with him on an emotional level again. It seems whenever I try texting him about something interesting, I would receive replies like “oh” or “ah i see” or “ok”. I think anything “interesting” I text him just comes off as me trying too hard which made me avoid doing so and instead tried texting him just normal questions like “what are you doing?” I’m scared if I keep asking him these normal everyday questions, he’ll get bored and there wil be no attraction between us. What do you think I should say to make a conversation with him that will catch his interest but not come off as trying too hard?

    1. U

      December 9, 2015 at 1:12 pm

      I don’t wanna do the no contact rule ? He’s drifted away far enough. He was so determined when he broke up with me, I’m scared if I do the no contact rule on him, he’ll move on and date someone else ? The no contact rule only works if he can see that I’ve become the ungettable girl. However, we finished college already so there’s no way we’d meet unless he wanted to meet me. To make things worse, he blocked me on the only communication means we had, telegram. What do I do?

    2. U

      December 9, 2015 at 11:57 am

      He blocked me again. He said he couldn’t take it anymore and then said goodbye. ? What do I do?

    3. U

      December 8, 2015 at 4:33 pm

      I can’t help but get all anxious when he doesn’t reply. Sometimes he would even have “seen” the text I sent him but doesn’t reply. So I would send him a second text. Then he would go online but doesn’t even look at my text. Then he goes offline. Do you think that maybe my anxiety is unreasonable and that I should just wait until he replies? I just can’t help but panic when he sees my text but doesn’t reply.

    4. U

      December 8, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      I would very much appreciate that. Thank-you! I hope you could explain everything there in regards to texting as I can’t buy your book due to the complicated buying process involving credit cards. I’m just 18 and using my parents’ credit card for that cause pains me. Hope you understand. Not in anyway am I saying your book is not worth it btw.

    5. U

      December 7, 2015 at 4:05 pm

      Do you have any examples of texts that are engaging?

    6. Chris Seiter

      December 8, 2015 at 2:14 pm

      I am actually making a video on text messaging next and will cover that there.

    7. Chris Seiter

      December 7, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      Start off slow but with something really engaging. Lets work on a text for you to send.

  9. U

    December 7, 2015 at 7:50 am

    Hey Chris,
    Its me again. My boyfriend blocked me on telegram after I got all emotional asking for his affirmation that he won’t leave me. What do I do if he doesn’t unblock me? Its the only social network we can communicate through because his phone is damaged. He uses telegram from his laptop. Do you think he would unblock me? ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      December 7, 2015 at 3:40 pm

      Have you read my article on getting an ex to unblock you?

  10. U

    December 7, 2015 at 4:13 am

    Hey Chris,
    My boyfriend blocked me after I pleaded to him not to leave me. What do I do? I feel like this time he’s going to block me for good because he’s blocked me before and then unblocked me so I don’t think he’ll unblock me again because this isn’t the first time. Hence the whole I’m angry at her, I’m going to block her, this doesn’t feel as good and I kind of miss her thing might not apply anymore. His phone is broken so he communicates through telegram only on his laptop. He blocked me on telegram so now theres no way we can communicate at all. Please help me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      December 7, 2015 at 3:44 pm

  11. Worried

    December 7, 2015 at 2:47 am

    Hi Chris, I would like to start off my thanking you. What you are doing is amazing. My ex boyfriend and I broke up on Oct 19 2015. We were a long distance relationship and he just moved to a new school this year. When breaking up he said that he was lonely and we would fight a lot (it was like once a month about communication issues). I texted him once or twice till about a month later when I asked him what is going on between us because he had me thinking that in December we would see each other again. He responded that No he doesn’t believe there is a chance and he wants what is best for me. He said that he knows what he wants and he isn’t and can’t be the one for me. He informed me that there is someone he is interested in and has gone on dates with. Fast forward a couple days later I texted him a question and he responded asking how I was doing and if I hated him for what happened. So off and on I would text him and he would always respond. I put up stories on snap chat and he always looks at them. I just found your website and have been on nc for 12 days. I’m wondering what are my chances here? I’m not sure if he actually meant what he said or the girl is just a rebound. I tend to be a hopeful person and a fighter when I want something but if the chances look pretty bad I want to know. There is a possibility of my having an internship about 30 minutes away from him and so I would be staying on his campus this summer. Thank you very much.

    1. Worried

      December 14, 2015 at 2:58 am

      Oh I forgot to ask. I should do 30 days of nc instead of 21 correct?

    2. Chris Seiter

      December 7, 2015 at 3:44 pm

      You are very welcome.

      You have a good chance in my opinion!

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