What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Tells You He Never Loved You- And How To Get Him Back

189 thoughts on “If He Tells You That He Never Loved You Then Do This…”

Tiffany

March 10, 2016 at 8:31 pm

Hi Chris –

I was with my boyfriend for a year on and off. Each time we broke up it was at the 3-4 month mark on the spot (3x). When we got back together the last time it was all him. He told me he made a huge mistake letting me go an wanted me back and wanted to be with me. A few days ago was our latest breakup and it was full of tears. This was the first time I had seen him cry, but I have never seen such a manly man cry so hard and so sincerely. He told me (yelled it, rather) that he did not love me. He had never told me he did, so I asked him if he never felt it in the entire year. He said no, but his actions showed me otherwise – I never knew the breakups were coming. Everything was always so great. He was always so good to me, in every way. He cried because he said he didn’t think he did enough for me. We had an amazing relationship – never fought, could always talk things out, always had so much fun together and never got annoyed of each other. We both trusted each other and there were never any issues. He called all of this out during the break up. He said I am amazing in every way. Due to the unexpected nature of the breakup, I had a lot of questions. I asked him how I can better myself and be a better gf for someone in my future and he said there is nothing I can do – it would be impossible for me to be any better. He told me that while he cared so much about me and wanted it to work so badly, something just wasn’t there for him (so… he wasted a whole year?). I told him that guys do not cry like that over people they do not love. I didn’t believe him when he said that he didn’t love me. I get the feeling It’s an issue with commitment. He is afraid to open up. His gf from HS (we’re both 30) cheated on him and I am his first long-term relationship since. He over thinks everything and can’t seem to move past the 3-4 month hump. Do I believe what he said? That he did not love me? Is there hope for us or should I walk away?

Tiffany

March 11, 2016 at 1:05 pm

I know I need to give him space. The last time we broke up, he came back to me in 4 days. We have talked once or twice since we broke up, and both agree this is the hardest one yet. He said he was going to call me tonight and I am plan on talking with him just to clear up some lose ends. It’s hard to walk away from so easily and I feel like I have to fight, but also know that space is going to be the best move. This is my plan after tonight – to give him space. Do I do the 30 days no contact or still welcome him if he reaches out? So you think there is any chance for us?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2016 at 9:14 am

For me, since it’s been a couple of times now, you have to do nc to break the cycle of breaking up and then coming back together.. you have to tell him that you’re not like he’s past and he has to be fair to you.. that you need space bcause it has been emotionally draining for you
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2016 at 12:51 am

Hi Tiffany,

I think he needs to have space so he can think about what you said and have realizations

Jamie

January 30, 2016 at 12:58 am

Hey Chris
My boyfriend and I broke up with me about three months we were together for nearly three years, he thought I cheated on him, there was a face and a private part photo was sent of me, and I didn’t even know about it, and he found out and he didn’t believe it wansnt me, he saw wat he saw, consider we were together all the time even when after work always together and he also help my parents with some money for a bond when there moved into a new place but there is two side of the story, he said to me he doesn’t to be part of it ever again, yes he was yelling at me because of things happen and then he text me by saying that he had doesn’t want to part of this with me ever again, he also used to say he love me, but now he said he doesn’t have feelings for me because of what has happen, he also text me and said to me won’t you go and find someone else to have sex with, but he was yelling at me in person, now when he went to Adelaide he come back and said to his sister that he feel like he was chasing him self and now I herd that he going back to his country and when he comes back he going to be moving to the Gold Coast with his friend, we were living together but he move back to his mum place, I still love him and not sure if I included everything in this but unsure if he still love me or he just saying hat to hurt me

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2016 at 2:44 pm

Hi Jamie,

Was all of those said in just one conversation? Right after he saw the photo?
Jamie

January 30, 2016 at 1:02 am

I keep texting him nearly all the time hope I have pushing away more and more be user he doesn’t even speak to me now he also sound like he is abit jealous for some reason but when I keep text him he also said to leave him alone and doesn’t care anymore

J

December 28, 2015 at 6:06 am

Hi Chris!
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He broke up with me rather. He told me he never really loved me since the beginning of our relationship. I don’t want to believe him because he was able to show me he loved me during our relationship.
After reading this post, I realized that it can be the three out of the four reasons. This past few months, I could feel that he was not attracted to me anymore. We were living together for a year before we broke up. Maybe we reached the point where we were very comfortable with each other. Recently, we weren’t able to have that romantic date due to our busy schedules at work. We always see each other in PJs or sweatpants and sweaters.
The thing that our relationship got so boring can be the reason too. We started to neglect each other and our conversations are becoming more of a formal business-like meeting. We forgot how to have fun and laugh at jokes. I wanted to reach out but I never knew how. And because of these reasons, we were never able to meet our emotional/physical needs.
We just seemed to drift apart every second. I love him so much. When we broke up, he was so unsure about it, but his best friend encouraged him to do it. I knew he cared. For one week after our break up, he would bring me breakfast to my new place, or we would go out on a night stroll (without any physical contact) and we would just sit in silence, lost in our own thoughts. Sometimes, he would accidentally call me using the nickname he used to use during our honeymoon phase, and I did the same. It’s also my fault to let the break up happen. I was so angry, confused and unsure myself. I took him for granted. I wasn’t able to show him how much he means to me and how much I appreciated him. I admit I was acting so immaturely months before he called our relationship off. It became toxic. I became jealous and insecure. He was also at fault for not exerting any effort to communicate with me and for pushing me away when I make a move to fix our rocking relationship.

A month has past, we have no contact since then. He stopped sending me messages and he also blocked me on facebook. I also changed my phone number. He has now a new girlfriend. I heard she was his ex-gf (a long long time ago) when he was in 2nd year in the university. They broke up after a month. So, right now, they are back together and is now having an LDR. They started their communication through social media and only met once before going on an LDR. They will probably meet again after more than a year.

I want to have him back but he seemed so happy now. If he’s happy now with her, then I should just be happy for him but deep down, I am not happy about it.
Will I still be able to re-attract him and make him miss me? Will I be able to have him back considering the fact that his new gf is once his ex?

These days, I just spend my time on improving myself and my work. I live an active lifestyle, I eat good food, I exercise and play sports, and I have fun with my friends and family.
Cassie

November 30, 2015 at 7:18 pm

Hi. Me and my boyfriend recently split up. We were together for nearly a year this coming Christmas. We have been on and off, due to arguments, insecurity and jealousy mainly.
We have gotten to the point now where he has said he is done with me, he never loved me, he was just lying and that he never wants me back. I and a few of his family members still have a glint of hope. I adore this man, we made many life plans, we were engaged and even tried to start a family (upset followed as I miscarried a couple of times) – I admit I have bombarded him with emails, txts, any form of contact I have tried. For him to shut me down and say some pretty hurtful things.

Is there any way to try selvage my relationship. To get the love of my life back?

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 5:17 am

Men often say things they don’t mean when they are angry. Well let’s face it everyone does that.

Do no contact for 30 days. Try to reach out after that.

Kait

November 7, 2015 at 11:02 am

Hi Chris, I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasnt wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things arent the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesnt feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? Please help.

Sheila

January 14, 2016 at 6:58 am

I will give you a honest answer. You are humiliating yourself. Why women disrespect themselves so much because they refuse to face the reality? You are not listening to him. For him, the relationship is over. He is rejecting you again and again but you keep on begging. You are doing this because of your emotions, you cannot control yourself due to your emotions. I think the NC rule will not make him change his mind but giving him some space might help him to analyse things with a calm mind.

Mary

August 24, 2015 at 9:06 am

Well, I was dumped about a month ago now (we were together for two years) and it was confusing, because he told me that he still had stong and real feelings for me, and that the didn’t really want to break up, but he was lost and felt like he could give me what I needed and deserved. I just let it go, thinking he was just having a crisis and felt like I wanted more commitment that he wasn’t ready to give. Maybe he felt like I wasn’t “the one” or…whatever. I was just confused because it came out of the blue and he was so convinced and broken up about it. I haven’t talked to him after that, but the confusion got worse when I heard that he had told our mutual friend two days after the breakup that this relationship didn’t make him happy. And I don’t really get it because when we were together, we had some reaaaaallly tough times, because he had lied to me about stuff and made some really hurtful things. I’m diagnosed as emotionally oversensitive, so it took me a long time to get over those things. And every time I was in a crisis and told him that I don’t know if we should stay together (I know such sayings are really bad, but I was getting some mixed signals, it seemed like he was not putting any effort in this relationship) or when I had any doubts, also told him that I’m afraid I don’t have anything to offer him, he always, ALWAYS said that he was happy when I was with him, that he never wanted to lose me and…well, just basically told me that he wants to be with me because he is happy with me. And now I feel like I was just fooled. I was coaxed into continuing this relationship, because he convinced me that his hurtful actions did not mean that he didn’t want to be with me, so I just swallowed the pain and tried to get over those things. I believed that if he really wanted to be with me, then it’s all gonna be okay, that it is worth trying and giving an effort. So I did, I gave him everything I had, all the love, all the forgiveness, all the care, because everytime we had a rougher time, he told me that he doesn’t want to give up on us, because I make him happy. And now it turns out that he just lied to me for all this time. Why would you convince someone to be in a relationship with you when you know you are not happy in it yourself? I feel used and incredibly stupid. I don’t know how to go on from this. I haven’t contacted him and I do not intend to, because I am so uttelry hurt and confused by this. I just feel that I am too stupid to ever be in a relationship and therefore just get hurt over and over again.

Carole

January 11, 2016 at 5:57 am

It’s better that you know now than to be in a relationship for 24 years then to be told that he never loved you in that way but that he came to care about you. Man I ran as fast as I could and never saw him again. That my friend is quite a blow. Don’t try to get someone back who knew of your disposition and then used it as a door out of the relationship. Do you really want a man that comes back out of pitty, both of you guys will be in a sort of jail and true happiness can never come out of that. Find your soul mate instead.

Sarah

July 9, 2015 at 11:52 pm

Hi! My ex-boyfriend and I broke up two days ago and this came as a complete shock to me. We had been together for almost 9 months and had had the most amazing time together. However, we were only together for 4 months before I started study abroad in Australia. We decided to stay together and although things were hard because we missed each other we were still as close as ever. We said we loved each other every day and he would send me sweet messages or cute animal pictures/videos for me to wake up to when I was asleep and he was awake. We would facetime for hours, even though that meant him staying up late into the night when he had class the next day. He even sent me a card for our 6 month that was incredibly sweet and said how much he missed me and how excited he was for our future. He ended up visiting me in Australia for our birthdays, and the trip was absolutely amazing. We did so many things and spent so much time together with no problems whatsoever. He also brought me two more cards, both incredibly sweet and talking about the years he thought we would spend together. I have never felt more loved or safe than I did with him, he knew me better than any other person and he was my best friend. He even spent all his money to do things with me, including going horseback riding with me on my birthday even though I knew he didn’t want to and that that would take the rest of his money. The last night he was there we tried to stay up all night so we could have as much time together as we could. The next day when I took him to the airport I could see tears in his eyes when he said goodbye and he immediately messaged me saying how much he loved me. After this trip his family moved out of the home he grew up in and although I tried to be there for him he started acting a little distant, but I wasn’t worried because I knew he was going through something. Things in his family became tense because his parents started having problems, both relationship-wise and with their health but he would only talk about it occasionally. A few days after the move he went out to California to coach and be a camp counselor at a sports camp. Things were fine for a while but not as lovey dovey and romantic as they used to be, but we still talked all the time and facetimed for hours at a time. I came home a week ago and things were still seemingly fine, although I was getting nervous about the fact that he was being less romantic. However, he still told me he loved me every day so I figured we had just finished the honeymoon stage. Two days ago he broke up with me, even though earlier in that day he had talked about this concert he wanted to go to with me, that he had invited me to the day before. The day we broke up we talked all day until I jokingly asked if he was getting bored with me (I had asked this question before with always good responses) and he said that he didn’t think so, all the while comforting me about my first day of work the next day. So I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he didn’t know, that it wasn’t black and white. I asked him what I could do and he said that he wasn’t sure, that he was in a weird mood and that he’d get past it. I told him that he was stressing me out but that I’d give him some space. Later that night he asked to facetime with me and broke up with me, even though we had been long distance for months and were finally about to be together again. I tried to convince him otherwise since we had worked so hard to maintain our relationship but he said that he didn’t see a future with us and that he didn’t love me anymore. He said that he’d been feeling this way for months but that he couldn’t break up with me while I was abroad. I asked him if he lied in the cards he wrote me and he said no, that he meant everything he said at the time (which was about a month ago) so he had to have lied about feeling this way for months. He was incredibly cold and distant, unlike anyway I had seen him before, didn’t say anything nice about the time we had together, didn’t say anything complimentary about me, wouldn’t look me in the eyes and said we couldn’t be friends – we had facetimed the day before and that is when he had invited me to a concert and to stay with him and his family. This all is made worse by the fact that last year my dad left my family and turned out to have been a cheating sociopath and my ex had always comforted me and promised me that he would never hurt me like that. I made him promise that if we broke up it would be something we both saw coming and something we had tried to resolve. He promised me that he would never just leave without any explanation. He also promised that there was no way we would break up as soon as I came back from study abroad.I know that he loved me, he flew across the world for me and spent all his money on me and was the sweetest and best guy I could ever imagine. We never faught, the only time we did was because he got upset with me for doing something dangerous and stupid and he freaked out at the idea of me not being in his life. His family and friends also liked me. I don’t understand and I am completely heartbroken. I haven’t talked to him since the day we broke up but I honestly can’t believe he hasn’t contacted me apologizing yet…this whole thing was so completely unlike him. Please help me, what do I do?
Nidhi

June 25, 2015 at 8:23 am

I dont know from where to start . Its 8 months back that my best frnd just had his breakup . He was a bit upset so i talked with him for hours on fb to make him feel good .
then one day he said to me that he likes me but i didnt react to it as he is a kind of guy i cant trust at one go especially at this. It continued for several months and then one day he proposed me . I denied (i liked him but wasnt sure of him) .
We started talking too much and then i started to like him more day by day. And i accepted his proposal but he said he doesnt want it . Then too everyday our chat ended with i love u .
Then one day he came to me and Said he want to breakup and then went away . I was shocked . Then i got To Know that he is saying to all of his friends that He got into that relation because i forced him .
what should i do ??
Kelly

June 21, 2015 at 5:46 pm

Hi Chris. I was with my ex about a year and a half. We are in our mid 30s and things progressed very quickly. I was his first serious relationship. I heard from many of his peers and friends that he talked about me all the time and they’ve never seen him be this way about another girl. For the most part, he was a great boyfriend-flowers, thoughtful texts, dates, trips, meeting families, wanting to move in together, etc. Periodically, we would get into big fights where he would say terrible things to me. “I dont love you” “I’m never going to marry you” “I want to breakup” They were usually around marriage as I was honest with him from the beginning that if he wanted to be exclusive I was looking to settle down and have a family (with the right person). The next day he would usually cry and tell me he didn’t mean what he said but that of course made me act even MORE insecure about if he was going to marry me. Eventually after a lot of back and forth (he would threaten to leave or act very ambivalent for about 2 months), I reluctantly decided to end our relationship and he seemed angry but didn’t fight me on it. He moved out quickly. I was crushed and he knew it. For the first month, I did tell him things like I missed him and he would send something nasty back like “Sorry, I don’t miss you and just want to move on.” I’ve heard very little from him and it’s been 4 months. I saw him once after about a month and he yelled and brought up a lot of resentment that he had seemingly been holding for a year and a half. I saw him another time more recently and he was fine but seemed totally detached and when we parted said “take care.” He told me he is very happy (which of course I want for him but it stung because I couldn’t help but think it indicated that he was happier without me). Since the breakup, he usually doesn’t respond to my messages (or waits several days to do so) although after the first month they aren’t emotionally charged or about getting back together. One day I was “the love of his life” our relationship was the “best time of his life” and the next “he never loved me” and I am “selfish” with my marriage timelines. It’s all so confusing. As I stated, we’ve been NC much of the breakup period. Is he still angry or does he simply not care about me anymore (or maybe he never did and was just infatuated)? He’s never told me to stop contacting him and I don’t think he has a new gf. I truly do love him but do I just need to let this one go?
Ashley

June 17, 2015 at 12:36 pm

I just recently had a break up. like two weeks ago. we had been together for 8 months and I was practically living with him for the last month. everything seemed good we were making near and distant future plans. He has been laid off since we became official and I have been supporting him find a new job in his field and tried to not push the issue and stress him out. we broke up once before after 2 months and we ended up deciding o give it a second chance. I felt blind sided when I came home and he told me he didn’t see himself marrying me and he didn’t love me and I had to leave that night. I fought with him and cried and said I couldn’t understand. he told me I was beautiful and amazing and someone would make me happy but he didn’t want to drag on a relationship he couldn’t see a future with. His family is shocked because they loved me and thought I was perfect for him. He also told me he had gotten rejections from for jobs that day and he felt like he was losing his best friend, he cared about me, but I was just a friend. He needed a month of no contact because it hurt him seeing me and talking to me and being reminded of us. he said that sometimes when we were together he need space from me and that wasn’t a good sign of I planned to eventually officially move in because he couldn’t just ask me to leave for a day to give him space. I keep going over it in my mind and it just doesn’t add up. I am experiencing that so upset I feel like I could die depression and I’ve never been so heartbroken. I need to know what the heck happened and if all his reasons were a lie and he did love me and just doesn’t realize it.
Julie

May 1, 2015 at 4:10 am

My ex and I were together for 6 years. I was so stupid. Right from the start he was lying to me, fights and manipulation from day one. A few months in he told he he loved his ex, that she was such a big part of his life that he would always be in love with her. A few fights and heartbreak and we stayed together, only for me to discover three years later that he was sleeping around. He begged me to stay and because I thought he was the one, I did and tried to work through it. Six years of lying and cheating and abuse by him and it destroyed me. His ex finally messaged him again and he told her that she was and will always be his reason for breathing. It’s finally over, he never loved me at all, he was just waiting for her to come back to him. I feel so used and betrayed, but above all, so stupid.
Marissa

April 7, 2015 at 5:56 am

My ex boyfriend and I dated for 2years, and then he moved to Australia. After he moved we tried a long term relationship for about 2 months, and it was going great (or so I thought) we stopped talked for 3 days when he went away on camp and had no wifi, then when he got back from camp he told me he stopped loving me after he moved to Australia. It broke my heart
Kelly

March 13, 2015 at 7:23 pm

I was in a relationship for almost 10 years and my ex say the same words “I never loved you” at the beginning I was so confused, angry and cry so much. We got on a big fight, he told me he needed to find himself and I begg him to stay with me but the more begging I did the more cruel he got. It’s being almost a year, I’m still very broken down and devastated, he is on a new relationship. I call him off and on and ask him why he did not loved me but he tells me that I need to get professional. Help m

Sunshine in the Rain

June 26, 2015 at 5:41 pm

8 Years, similar story and outcome. I asked why couldn’t he have told me year 1???? He says he was always telling me. I’m heartbroken too.
admin

March 15, 2015 at 4:17 pm

Read my latest article. I really dive in to what he is thinking when he says those words

Kay

March 8, 2015 at 7:19 am

my ex boyfriend of 7 mos LDR told me he thought I was what he wanted and one day told me he didn’t love me anymore. 3 days before that things were great. we are not together for 5 months now and he tells people its because I wanted more out of thr relationship and he’s not heading on that direction AND I’m a bit crazy! (im 5 years older 23 and 28) I don’t understand why? we would have nonserious talks about the future but he was not straightforward that he didn’t want commitments so I just build plans etc. But im easy I just wanted for our LDR to work out while we’re away from each other. thats not even the reason he gave me when he broke up with me.. I get upset due to our LDR but not him at times but we never really fight.. its so painful to know that he thinks im crazy when he told me I am one of the greatest person he has ever met and will always have a place in his heart. apparently he doesn’t want to date anybody as he is very busy with his career which includes travelling a lot. I actually haven’t moved on coz I believe he is a good person but perhaps I don’t know him that much yet..
myrissa

February 24, 2015 at 11:14 pm

What if he said that his heart wasn’t in it? I feel like it’s the same as telling me that he never really loved me, but am I wrong? I don’t know how to feel because in one breath he’s telling me what an amazing person I am and that he really cares about me and in another he’s telling me that he tried to make it work but his heart was never in it. We have been together for nearly a year and are living together. I just don’t understand why we would’ve done all this to build a life together if he was never really in it. I have forgiven him for a lot of things he has done to me throughout our relationship and I have never done anything disloyal or disrespectful to him. He told me himself that I don’t deserve this. I am just so confused. Do I just move out and move on? I love him and his daughter with all my heart and I don’t want it to be over. It isn’t just something simple that I can just delete his number. It’s a life we have built together. What am I supposed to do?

admin

February 25, 2015 at 9:27 pm

Well, I wouldn’t put yourself in a homeless situation like moving out unless you knew for sure you had a place to stay.

I say if you really think you can work things out long term then stay in it and work through it.
myrissa

February 26, 2015 at 12:16 am

I would love to work things out. But he said he doesn’t want to make things work anymore.

Liv

February 22, 2015 at 10:16 pm

My ex and I dated for 3 months. It all happened too fast with us, but I’m having a hard time believing that he never loved me. After 3 months broken up, he’s hurt again about someone else from his past and I still love him, then he told me today, “I wish I was in love with you, but I never loved you.”, but when we were together he was like super needy and sweet, it wasn’t like I was fooling myself or “creating” this feeling in my head. Could it be that he just wanted to hurt me by saying that?

admin

February 23, 2015 at 9:29 pm

Were his actions indicative of someone who was in love?

That’s how you can tell.
Liv

February 28, 2015 at 3:49 pm

Yes! They were! Every single one of them would tell me he really was in love with me. I’ve always been afraid of falling in love and with him I lost my fears because I actuallu believed it. He told me he was just fooling HIMSELF into believing he was in love with me.
And now he kinda hates me, because I still love him. He told me he will never love me and he wants a gf but not me, that everything I do bothers him. Does that make sense?

Anonymous

February 12, 2015 at 4:37 am

I feel like my ex’s story matches up a lot with your story. Although I am in a very happy and healthy relationship with a man I love, I sometimes do catch myself wondering if I made up the feelings in my head.

So my question is, did you ever come clean with this girl? Or is she til this day thinking you never actually did love her?

admin

February 16, 2015 at 10:06 pm

I lost context here…

What story was this exactly?

Haha.
Anonymous

February 22, 2015 at 3:47 am

The one you mentioned in this post! How you were in high school and bitter and angry towards your ex and she tried to be nice to you and you denied any of her efforts. Did you ever let her know somewhere down the line how you really felt?
admin

February 22, 2015 at 5:23 pm

I actually did!

Of course, I was too emotional and ruined my chances.
Anonymous

February 25, 2015 at 3:45 pm

How exactly did that go down? Was it recently after the break up or a long time after? And how did she react?

I am just so curious because it’s rare that you hear a guy actually admit this stuff, forget on a public forum.

Need some advice

January 7, 2015 at 6:46 am

Need some advice,
My ex and I dated for 2.5 years and we broke up. That was back in 2008. I was still in love with him and we were in and on and off relationship for a long time. Every time he tried to talk to another girl online, when it didn’t work out, he came back to me and we started the relationship again. This went on for more than 5 years. During these times, we would go to lots of trips together and he would buy me lots of stuffs like a pearl necklace set. He would also get jealous if guys checked me out. Four months ago, he told me he is planning to see someone else and we ended our relationship after that. He told me, it happened too fast and he was sorry for the things he did and promised me that he would never do that to me again and really “treasured the 12 years that we been best friends and dating”. He said he would want to make it up to me. I was still angry at him and told him to give me some space and do not text me until I told him to. For the past three months I had no contact with him. He also didn’t contact me during the 3 months of NC. After the NC was over, I was invited to a Christmas gathering with some mutual friends of ours. I went and I saw him there. However, we both didn’t talk to each other I was not able to make the move to talk to him because I was shy and did not know what to say to him. During the dinner, he mentioned to all of us that he is still seeing the girl.
Later on that night, we went to our friend’s house. I gave everyone a Christmas card, including him. That night I had to leave early, so before I left, everyone stood up and gave me a hug except him. He just sat there with his hands in his pockets and said “Merry Christmas” and did not acknowledge me when I said “bye everyone”. I was hurt by his behaviour and wondered why I spent 12 years in being friends and even date and love this guy. I found out from a mutual friend that my ex was not feeling well that day. On Christmas Eve, I sent him a message and wished him “Merry Christmas” and saying that I forgive him for the things that he has done and also apologized for the things that I have done and need some more space so I can move on from the past before we can be friends again. He never replied to that message.
My question is I do miss him as a friend and would like to ask him to meet up to see how he is doing and listen to his side of the story about this whole thing before I make my conclusion of not seeing him ever again. Because He was always there for me when I needed someone there for me.
And is this a rebound.. they are still dating after 4 months and he started things with her before he ended with me, and he also apologized to me before about 4 months ago and said it happened so fast

admin

January 19, 2015 at 2:58 pm

Well, have you read my rebound page?

That might help you to determine.

Ria

July 11, 2014 at 2:54 pm

From what I know,he doesn’t make much from his job and he doesn’t ask for money from anyone.I don’t beleive he will steal the money,yet he seems like he’s not doing much efford to return them.I’m very much afraid he doesn’t wish to see me,so he waits until he has all the amount.I thought also because of his gf but that doesn’t make much sense,right?unless he has some sort of ‘plan’ in his mind?I don’t know,that’s why I need a man to tell me..
Also I need to say that my friend beleives he’s lying about the gf.But yesterday I tried to text him ‘May I ask you sth?’,he replied in less than 5 min. and after another 5 again saying ‘tell me now cause I’m with my gf and I don’t want any misunderstandings!’I was shocked,didn’t reply anything, yet about 35min later I checked on fb and saw him on Chat from cell.I waited and at night I send him a text saying I didn’t want to disturb earlier and that sth happened that scared me,so I wanted to say some things.I thanked him for the support he gave me last summer,I apologized if I crossed the line some times and said I’m glad we know each other.He didn’t reply..
so could you answer these: a)do you think I did well texting that?
b)do you think there’s a gf indeed and
c)so what about the money issue above?is there a plan or what??

admin

July 14, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Well, you are entitled to your money…
Ria

July 18, 2014 at 6:23 pm

yes but how can I use that to my advantage??I can’t really talk to him..I only try to post photos of me on fb and trying to seem like having fun but is it enough??
admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:11 pm

It might be enough yes. Even if he doesn’t seem like he is having an external reaction the internal reaction may be there.
Ria

July 21, 2014 at 10:10 pm

I hope so.. Do you think romantic posts would do more good or harm?? And thank you!!!
admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:31 pm

It depends on how integrated into the conversation he is.
Ria

July 23, 2014 at 12:43 pm

we don’t talk..after he told me he was with his gf I don’t know what else to say..I have nothing left to do.that’s why i ask what posts would ”help” me change his mind??

Ria

June 30, 2014 at 2:35 pm

hi! I’d really love your advice cause I feel in my case there’s not much I can do..
As I said before I met my ex on fb one year ago.We used to go in the same school but didn’t know each other in person,though I always had a crush on him.Our last year I had tried to add him again,he accepted me and showed interest but I was too coward to meet him when I had the chance,the he closed his fb and I had forgotten him till last year when I found his NEW PROFILE and decided to add him.Once again,he accepted, he showed interest again,we exchanged phone numbers soon and ever since we talked and texted every day for 3 months.He was working in another city so we only met in last september when he came here for his sister’s wedding.We even have arranged to go to Rome together and he had more than once talked me about marriage!A saw him about 5 times but after 2 weeks or so he started being strange,probably because he has family issues, and I admit I was so terrified I put him a lot of pressure..He left again at some point and since then we talked,then he stopped answering and the same again.He returned here to stay,but again didn’t say anything about us.When I had lost every hope I found your site, I decide to do NC,it worked,he messaged me once, I didn’t answer, then after 30 days I tried my First text,it went very good!after 3 days he texted me First and so I followed your plan.2 weeks later about xmas,he implied he wanted to see me,and during NEW years eve we were texting each other all the time.He even said he was looking forward to our trip and he liked me etc..After that at some times he again was cold and hot at times,we met once at end of january, at his House where he introduced to his family as his ‘girlfriend’.I tried to talk to him about what is going to happen between us and he kind of didn’t answer.Ever since he was kind neutral and when the time of the trip came, we didn’t go cause he couldn’t leave his job while he said that we can’t be together and we wont be!I didn’t talk to him about 40 days after that.meanwhile he had closed his FB.I tried text him he didn’t reply 2 times.In the third text he started asking me things on his own.For a while we talked,he was friendly,then he never wished me on my birthday,he didn’t reply when I wished him on his.Again I tried after a while talk to him,he was possitive,then he wouldn’t answer again!meanwhile he owes me the Money for the trip which I asked and he said he has some difficulties and a girlfriend!I asked him for how long and he said 2 months..I told him I also have a bf and that I’d like to remain friends..but I’m tottaly lost! please help!Considering all the above what should do?I’m afraid he doesn’t wish to talk to me so should I wait for him or do something?? please I need some kind of plan/advice..

admin

July 3, 2014 at 12:36 am

Wait do you really have a boyfriend?
Ria

July 3, 2014 at 2:09 pm

no,just a flirt, I don’t know why I said that..maybe because I felt he would be relactant to talk to me.do you think it was wrong?? and may ask your opinion on sth that bugs me a lot??please..
admin

July 7, 2014 at 5:40 pm

The sth that bugs you a lot?
Ria

July 7, 2014 at 5:56 pm

a lot actually..a)he says he has difficulties with the money and had said months ago that he would give them to me in 2 doses.By now he should have at least 1/3 of them!for sure!why he doesn’t give the Money if he doesn’t want any connection with me?and how he’s on dates with his gf if he has financial problems??
b)it happened and I saw him on his bike the other day and he has gain weight..also he doesn’t shave his head anymore.And in general I see he doesn’t post anything on fb and when he does is not sth ‘happy’.Do you think this is good or bad?you think men gain weight when they’re happy or sad??
admin

July 8, 2014 at 1:59 pm

Could he be dishonest with you about the money issues?
Ria

July 9, 2014 at 1:26 pm

from what I know,he doesn’t make much from his job and he doesn’t ask for Money from anyone.I don’t beleive he will steal the Money,yet he seems like he’s not doing much efford.I’m very much afraid he doesn’t wish to see me,so he waits until he has all the amount.I thought also because of his gf but that doesn’t make much sense,right?unless he has some sort of ‘plan’ in his mind?I don’t know,that’s why I need a man to tell me..
Also I need to say that my friend beleives he’s lying about the gf.But yesterday I tried to text him ‘May I ask you sth?’,he replied in less than 5 min. and after another 5 again saying ‘tell me now cause I’m with my gf and I don’t want any misunderstandings!’I was shocked,didn’t reply anything, yet about 35min later I checked on fb and saw him on Chat from cell.I waited and at night I send him a text saying I didn’t want to disturb earlier and that sth happened that scared me,so I wanted to say some things.I thanked him for the support he gave me last summer,I apologized if I crossed the line some times and said I’m glad we know each other.He didn’t reply..
so could you answer these: a)do you think I did well texting that?
b)do you think there’s a gf indeed and
c)so what about the money issue above?is there a plan or what??
Ria

July 10, 2014 at 1:14 pm

from what I know,he doesn’t make much from his job and he doesn’t ask for Money from anyone.I don’t beleive he will steal the Money,yet he seems like he’s not doing much efford.I’m very much afraid he doesn’t wish to see me,so he waits until he has all the amount.I thought also because of his gf but that doesn’t make much sense,right?unless he has some sort of ‘plan’ in his mind?I don’t know,that’s why I need a man to tell me..
Also I need to say that my friend beleives he’s lying about the gf.But yesterday I tried to text him ‘May I ask you sth?’,he replied in less than 5 min. and after another 5 again saying ‘tell me now cause I’m with my gf and I don’t want any misunderstandings!’I was shocked,didn’t reply anything, yet about 35min later I checked on fb and saw him on Chat from cell.I waited and at night I send him a text saying I didn’t want to disturb earlier and that sth happened that scared me,so I wanted to say some things.I thanked him for the support he gave me last summer,I apologized if I crossed the line some times and said I’m glad we know each other.He didn’t reply..
so could you answer these: a)do you think I did well texting that?
b)do you think there’s a gf indeed and
c)so what about the money issue above?is there a plan or what??

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