What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You On (The Phone, Facebook, WhatsApp, Etc)

2,569 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

Nichola

May 25, 2016 at 11:40 am

My ex bf has deleted the couple of pics of us and our messages on facebook but he has kept me as friend on there, does this mean he is completley over or do you have any insight what is going on in his male mind?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2016 at 12:00 pm

Hi Nichola,

how long were your relationship? why and when did you break up?

Adrienne

May 22, 2016 at 12:36 am

Sorry last post had lots of spelling confusion . my apologies again for such a long post.
I am in a situation that ties into many of your posts. I am a 34 and he is 32 we have professional lives and lots on our plate. We met while he was home on leave. The first night we spent 12 hrs on the beach talking. After that the next two weeks we tried to spend as much time as we could together. We had a honeymoon phase as we all do. During this time I had quite a but of festering baggage beginning. I had just lost a job to no fault if my own. I had started a new job that I was exhausted and unhappy with. I was still looking for better but working 18hrs a day. I was just trying to look for a new place so that I could move my Dad and my puppy to Hawaii and take care of them. Little did I know my plans would change. As our relationship grew in the two weeks we had he began asking about a long distance relationship. He is in the military moving to a new duty station and was going to deploy shortly after (among the three jobs i have i am also in the military so I understand all that) i told him I believe in them but they are a lot of work and a lot of communication. We agreed we were ready and willing to accept that. He was supportive with everything I had going on. And a few days after leaving due to a family emergency I found my self on a plane because if a family death. Using much of everything I had saved up I managed to be able to book a flight from Hawaii to Georgia so I could rent a car and put him in my schedule. He lives in Tennessee. And he even went out if his way to see me in Iowa just for one day. I fell hard for him. Our relationship took off. I got back to Hawaii with a tin in my plate and a different direction. We talked about a future together. We talked about moving sooner than later but u just had so much I need to finish here. So I thought it best to save some money, downsize, move in with roommates and catch up and get back on my feet first.

Due to him deploying he was going yo have some downtime but couldn’t take leave so he asked if I could fly to him instead. I had a ton going on, (job situation , car stuff i had an accident a few weeks earlier i had not been able to take care of a yet, money restraints from already dipping deep into my savings…. so rent, beubg sick,spending a lot of time off, and being a teacher with end of the year camping trip, end of year pics, class may day party, report cards ( not to mention my kiddos are special needs, so lots if paperwork)) well he booked me a flight that left in 10 days. During the 10 days i had a stomach flu 5 days if them and camp four days of them. I worked my butt off and somehow managed to pull through to make it on my flight. Upon finishing up camp I begin to have a massive head congestion that turned unto a flu…

Anyhow, so far We had a wonderful relationship heading down an awesome path… Or so I thought!

The next 10 days… A recap, sorry in advance that this is so long but this is what changed my relationship…

In 10 days we were suppose to have together i never would have imagined a more beautiful intimate and romantic time than all you had put together to surprise me with. The first night I fell in love with you all over again. I have no recollection of the incident after such a magical time, i promise with all my heart i don’t ever remember shutting you out. The next day you were so mean and cold, a side I had never seen before. I clammed up! I was scared of your anger, shocked at how mean you could be, my emotions were in a scramble. I waited because I was numb on the inside, I have never been able to not defend myself. I laid in bed that next day as you went to work. I began feeling like poop from the cold. I felt anger, resentment, confusion and frustration but instead if running away I chose to love you. I thought about everything I could and realized .   omg… I was trying to tell him something I never told anyone!!! We made amends that day with
squeezes holds and kisses then of course I forgave and it was washed away! The next few days were crummy and un productive. I felt a bit resentful from a slight selfishness that I would be stuck in the house so much. But i still understood you were the only one at work and you had a lot yo do. instead I focused on time to just be lazy and ways to spoil you and prepare meals for you and I was sick anyway. By day four i felt awful and I can see how crummy I would come off. I felt I let you down and I apologized alot. I did however enjoy our snuggle sessions and cooking, movie time, and just us bonding time. Grocery shopping was awesome and even our first holiday. I was so excited. I enjoyed it so much actually! I love making you feel good, and special, gazing in your eyes and knowing there was a sense of piece, I felt loved, and wanted like no other. I loved hearing you tell me you loved me. It made me get butterflies and feel like a kid. I was so
proud of us and all I wanted to do was make you happy and be in love forever. I never once had a doubt or fear of losing you. The fifth day was rocky, I was feeling better and you were beginning to catch the yucky bug. I had a great afternoon at lunch with my honey even though I wish there could have been more us time at lunch we had to focus on your Mothers day first. We worked through it me and you and we planned an amazing araingement together with a note from the both of us. That was the first time I had ever done that I felt so close to you . if you were in my heart you would think it was a bouncy ball over the fact there would be so many more times to come. I felt like that confirmed I was a part of your world and nothing could be more special. After lunch our relationship had a twist I wasn’t ready for. After a blah debate of feeling crappy and trying to figure out our next plan you chose taking care of me over all options we had. I wanted to
look good for you … I always do. I love all the compliments you tell Mr even when I say “you’d say I look good in anything” or (,when I crunch my nose and shake my head a little before saying thank you” i wanted to share with you, because you gave me your all. I wanted you to be a part of it since you were waiting on me. Something a man in my life had never been so sweet and caring to do. Its the reason I asked you for a color. I just never have been ok with red. When you picked pink I just thought you would go for a more sassy color. The first one was a little to dull. The second one came back only a tinge brighter. I don’t know why I snapped honestly I guess j just didn’t expect you to pick something out for me that you liked I was thinking more of what you know fits me… You knows the crazy sassy stuff. I didn’t realize at the time what I was doing. I guess maybe I too went defensive for no reason at all. I wasn’t mad, and after
thinking about it I did ask you for the color you liked so instead of that is what i got. But instead of not recognizing it and saying I was sorry I began giving you crap teasing that you were just going to have to deal with plain ole me. Maybe I was upset you said you were simple. Maybe I got offended because I thought you just grabbed the color in the first place so quickly that I felt you didn’t care and grabbed anything. Must have been that because that is how i felt about the glitter. Regardless it was stupid selfish reasons I could have been more watchful for and prevented. Looking back I think as I began teasing more to alleviate my own feelings I made you feel like I was mocking you or in many words talking down to you. I then of course in return got the defense side of you and I didn’t even see it coming. It was no intent of mine to make you upset or for things to get as heated as they did. Heck I didn’t realize I was doing anything more than
teasing you, I wasn’t mad or upset!! Clearly now I see my fault.
> > Such a stupid one too. After hashing it out in the parking lot we made up with kisses and squeezes and hugs and we decided to hit the town with a great evening skating, and then the bowling alley and bar. The night took shape and I felt like we made some awesome moments and I again fell in love! . We spent the whole night smiling laughing talking singing and happy. We came home and I again felt like there was no threat in our relationship. I was so happy and I couldn’t wait to make that one of our hidden gems! All I thought about was how fun it would be when you came back to share it again. Saturday we had our first make up sex and it was amazing. Each time I share an intimate moment with you it is never ever the same! Afterwards we finally got up and moving at 3pm but you felt like poop. We managed tondrive around and discuss stuff to do all of which it was too late for. I wish I would have sat back more and less on finding things because if I
had known it would be my last I would have wanted to hold your hand longer and smiled more and watch you do something you love. ( Driving fast down an open road with me beside you! It was nice! . Well when we stopped at the adult store I think I got upset but it wasn’t an argument I don’t think. I was upset you didn’t give me feedback and didn’t seem interested but We both discussed our feelings quite well at least I thought. I listened and you did too. 🙂 then off to dinner to meet your friend first time I had really Been showed off and really introduced . I felt pretty and honored , but sick. That night on the way home things seemed great we both went in to pee and I guess I felt like you were procrastinating after I had been tired of staying in i sassed you with what my intent to be unhurtful words of staying home to play with your gun and I think it was mistaken for me being mean or lashing out to you. I got defensive because that was not my
intent and I sat down to check on on ordering an uber but got side tracked with a facebook post. I shared it with you to alleviate tension and smooth things over when clearly I needed to just say I was sorry for coming off selfish that’s when you got on your phone and I lost it. I should have know you were already upset but I didn’t see it. Then I got done and instead of saying “Come on honey” I looked over and your on your phone and I got sassy again insinuating your phone was more important. Now looking back I lashed out defensively maybe from feeling like you weren’t up for going out and I didn’t want to be stuck at home. Your reaction was , Scarry and more isolated. I was terrified, I am sure it was a feeling much like you had the first evening or when I mentioned of going to the airport.   I didn’t mean for this night to happen I cracked I cant handle being shut off either. It scares me when your silent that’s why I am so demanding with
communication. I don’t know and that makes me fear everything. I am afraid your going to leave, your will want to find someone else, im letting you down, you name it it goes through my head. I’ve been emotionally abused in the past so maybe that is a psychological problem I need to work on that is triggered by anger of someone I love. Then when you shut down you become cold and show no emotion so i don’t understand , (well I didn’t, now it makes since) in my mind though before it would make me feel like I am nothing and again in important. Stupid I know but in the heat of emotion unless you realize your trigger you can’t just stop and think rational. And I felt anger, frustration, scared, confused. I even tried standing up to you. When it didn’t affect you i got so upset because i felt i was trying so hard to be strong, thats how come i threw my phone. I cracked. I’m sorry. It took a lot out of me that night i was numb, but the thing that kept me
going was my heart was burning and some how the feeling i had was not as intense as the amazing times we had made and all you mean to me. Beyond it all God led me to chose to love you. I think It was the comfort you gave me wrapping me up and holding me that sealed the deal. I’m sorry I didn’t go to bed with you but I needed time to think. The next morning we got up and hugged and kissed it out asked for apologies and forgave and washed our hears of it. I knew you didn’t want to hurt me I knew it couldn’t be intentional we just needed to figure it out together. We had hours of make up sex that was and mind blowing and then started our Sunday. Sunday I felt at ease I felt like our live was unstoppable I was so lucky to be in such a beautiful place and sharing it comfortably with the love of my life we talked and snuggled held hands played lol that’s the moments I love most that’s the ones that keep reminding me why I chose to love you so much. That
night was OUR night. After a mind blowing morning we were both sore and I wanted to put you in a bliss. I wanted to make you remember every day how great I make you feel. No duck duck just play. I wanted to see you tremble and shake as I put you in Ecstasy like never before. And i put you beyond that. The next morning I felt like your trophy at the gym! I felt like I made you proud. But when it came down the wire to leave again i felt i was rushed and i was stressing over my rent. I should have let you in but I’m so use to handling all this alone. I was trying to do checks and balances and come up with a plan. I was scared. You kept asking me things and I needed to just focus so I was short and crummy to you. I know you needed to leave I Dont know why I didn’t want to just wait until lunch. I guess irrationally I had a fight or flight and survival moment. I just knew you were going that direction already and I wanted to be less of a burden and I was
being rushed. As I was grabbing all my crap and getting organized looking back I saw your concern I saw you being a man and trying but I was worried you would be later and I didn’t want it to be my fault . stupid thought again because it made it worse ( why couldn’t have showed more appreciation, after all you are doing everything to make the situation better) I did thank you and apologized for acting the way i was. But I was using it as an excuse instead of just changing it and trying to explain did not help I’m not sure what happened in the car I was all over the place and still worrying and out of just short snappy comments I said I don’t need to write it down like you but really it was my tone because once again I meant nothing to the fact as to belittle or criticize you. I do agree looking back that was not what came out. Same as the airport which comes next. I do wish you would do something to tell me when I pop off before getting upset. Kinda
like the DB (douch bag) code I give you. But needless to say I am still at fault my actions started the misunderstood mess. After that I felt like I didn’t belong in your life mainly because I didn’t see the fight through the looking glass yet. I knew you were stressed and I was told by you I wanted another man! It hurt me I wanted nothing of the sort. I wasn’t even realizing my demand to come up with words I still didn’t get it I’m very sorry I came on so strong. I wasn’t listening Honey I heard you but that day without a doubt I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t fully understanding you. I wish we wouldn’t have had to talk then. I get it you can’t articulate at the drop of a dime. In my defense I hadn’t seen the big picture yet. I hadn’t researched how to change or understand your language yet. It had only been a few times . I hadn’t even thought that far into it yet. The walk did that. It made me think a lot I feel like I had every emotion imaginable and God
steered me to love. My anger was at myself, I had a little resentment a selfish moment where I cursed you a little for not taking any days off to spend with me when i was leaving the next day. I cried a lot because it seems like no matter the good I have in life there’s always an extra plate added its like I can’t get a break. When I am with you I felt like that didn’t happen you had all my other worries in life dissolved. I had no internet no access and last I told you was I’d contact you. I didn’t expect you to go out of your way and I thought you were mad and I wasn’t allowed to want you. As I headed out the gate all I was heading to was to find a McDonald’s to get WiFi which was clearly longer than I had thought . after hearing you went looking for me it was after your lunch. I felt stupid I just kept walking because I needed to get this done. When I got to Navy federal I felt complete like you would be proud of me in some way maybe comforting to
know I would always take care of things no matter how difficult the obstacle so if I needed to handle things while you were gone the reassurance would be my girl has got this. I continued home because I wasn’t sure when you would be free and we’ll I needed to just walk. When I seen you I wasn’t sad I was happy my knight came! I was ready to go home. Exhausted and tired but I felt complete. We didn’t need to talk about it it was over and we were ok. At least i thought. That night I thought we snuggled well. I wish I could have gave you an amazing duck duck session but I was exhausted. I was so happy and proud though to prep you enough things to make sure I was still there when I was gone. Then you helped me and as greatful as i was i was stressed, i think deep down i was sad to leave. We had a fall out that was over why or how you wear your boom gat baby I Dont care how you wear it and if you want to look like GI joe I should still support you. I
don’t think your mental it shouldn’t matter how you come off to others all that matters is us and I’m sorry I think I actually picked that fight. I had no valid point to say anything at all. But we got through it and still managed to love and snuggle and I was so sad about leaving and I should have talked to you but I was exhausted. Then we woke up early and I think I just didn’t want to leave I was so sad baby I wish I would have told you but again I was trying to be strong. I think that was the tension. And I think the argument happened because you felt I wasn’t listening. I just wasn’t under the impression there was no food I was under the impression there was no exits hence why I suggested side roads. I’m not sure where it blew up and not realizing the big picture yet i continued to address a pointless situation that backfired. I even had a chance for us to cool down and grab dunk in Doug nuts but I didn’t see it. I was hurt by nothing but reaction
to my stubbornness. After we got to the airport I felt distant and then one after another my hectic life throws me curve balls. I was trying to get my bags checked to spend time with you I was sad I was leaving sad I upset you and then lost my I’d losing the little time I had. Then i seen how much you were helping but I was so focused on being upset my thank you wasn’t sincere. You tell me I am patient but I think in times of stress you got me beat. It takes me minutes to be rational and to think of a plan, i have a mini panic fight or flight. You effortlessly take control. I’m envious of that. Once I had a new flight I was relieved and then you mentioned having to go and I think I just lost it. I crumbled…. nothing was going right. I didn’t think to see it as a tiny opportunity to just hold you. I began feeling empty because I selfishly wasn’t going to get your time. I will hold the pain of that day forever! I Dont regret much in life but I
regret that for sure. I was scared sad and mad I needed you and didn’t reach out . I was stupid and because of that i hurt you more than any fight ever could. I pushed you away because I felt empty and unwanted and in return you felt the same pain. I was scared i had no tine to say good bye and i knew it there were chances it could be the last. I guess either way i robbed myself. I lost the most important thing I have in my life. I didn’t see it baby but I now I see so much I could have done differently!

OK now that that’s out yes I at first went into OMG, what is going in I’m sorry and trying to cinvience him to give us a chance. Then I sent him the above. Along with thus.

Fears I had…
> > I fear someone else will take my place when we were never given a second chance.
> > I fear I just lost the only man I ever wanted … Trusted… Believed in… Loved and would lay down my whole life for.
> > I fear I hurt you and let you down
> > I feared you were shutting me out
> > I feared you didn’t care as stupid as it sounds now.
> >
> > Forgiving…
> > I forgive the anger and mean actions you had. I know it was not your intent to hurt me it was the only way you knew how to react. That’s all I knew too. I am now working on forgiving myself. I am asking out of love and only by choice you forgive me someday too.
> >
> > Seeing my faults….
> > I see my faults I know I need to work on some things. We are not perfect people and God intended us to work out the kinks. I know I messed up I even annoyed you by trying to convince you we were worth a second chance. Even though I still believe in the love we had and I still fiercely live you and believe in us it not my place to convince you. Its my place to stand by you and respect your decisions no matter how much it hurts.
> >
> > What was going on in my life and yours…
> > This may not have played out in most of our fights but we have been both under a lot if stress together I did feel more relaxed with you I lost weight and I slept. My worries almost disappeared but I had a few times I got stressed. Especially Monday and Tuesday. In the midst of both we got a taste of all of each others emotions best of which showed in our   love, crazziness and most amazing and romantic times. In your kifevyiu had a lot going on.
> > You were the only one at work taking on everything plus if I know you right anticipating your return into my arms. From what you told me some days were hectic and this week didn’t get better with sine of the news you received. On top of things I’m not sure how you felt but if it was anywhere as crummy as I did as our deadline approached it was pain and sadness of leaving on top of how we both reacted to each other. On any other visit I’d say this would have been slightly easier to control or handle but this end of the trip just brought on stress.
> >
> > Loving you unconditionally..
> > Why don’t you want to chose love?
> > You say you had your longest relationship with someone who was mean and it lasted six months. How many have you turned away from that loved you as much as I did? l Tried to show you what love was how it feels to be unconditionally loved. I failed because we all are not perfect you see. I have issues and am not perfect either. But I hope if out of all this you see one thing the most. Love is a choice not a feeling! You chose to love when all else fails because you are courageous enough to want to. Because you cant think of any reason no matter how big or small to not spend life with someone you enjoy and that makes you a better person just by a look, their, touch, their words and even just a smile. That’s strength. I guess I am competitive when it comes to a relationship because I take so much pride in it and I work so hard to make it something that is so strong and true, even when that someone doesn’t know or understand or feel that love at all. I
made you feel wonderful there’s no doubt in my mind, I know you loved me because I never felt that before, it’s made me become crazy for sure. I love you differently every day and small moments make me remember why I fell in love with you. Shared adventures even if its a trip grocery shopping make me fall in love with you all over again.
> >
> > Lastly…
> > I want you to know I am sorry our vacation together wasn’t full of more good than bad. I’m sorry i wont be there to see you and hug you one last time before you leave or send you off excited to come home and I start our lives. I am sorry I let you down and I wont be there waiting when you come back like I promised.I want you to know I am proud of you, every thing you do, all your hard work, your an amazing man deserve the best, be as safe as you can, remember if you get scared look at the stars and remember the beach, I’ll be there looking too every bight to provide comfort.. I know its not much and you dont have to remember its me just look up and at least you won’t be alone. Hurry your butt back soon to make it through dive school and get the happiness you have worked so hard for
> >
> > If you have even gotten thus far thank you for giving me your time. Good bye my Love. I can’t promise you when my heart will finally let go of the hope I have that I will get a message or a phone call saying, “I am here baby, lets make this journey together.” I am sorry i sent you all those annoying messages trying to convince you to believe or feel when you had plenty on your plate. I respect you and i know you cant force feelings and I should never convince you in making such a personal choice to love. What I can do is promise I can show you what unconditional love is. That love exists, and I choose to stand by you, love you and respect your decision, and let you go even if it hurts! .

I thought after that I could do the No Contact rule. I started using a journal for a week and it was working until I cracked again yesterday and sent him a message. I sent it on email because clearly after blowing up his email and phone or two days straight I feel like I gained the title of an absolute psycho girlfriend. And i somehow feel not sad but sad. Like i failed our relationship , I have no closure, except he stated he wish it could work but we are always fighting. Yet we haven’t raised our voices, never cursing, no name calling just ridiculous argument fights. as I was blowing up his phone that he has no place in his heart for me only sadness and regret, he doesn’t miss my smell, voice, or touch and I needed to go find a man I was suppose to be with because he was not that man. But this was after a day of the actual me flying home/break up.

I have a feeling of ease and a sense of piece. I’m still going through with the move and packing up my things but I plan on living an hour from him and a job unfortunately where he will return to. I’m moving though for me. I get paid more, work less, can focus on me more and since then I have taken even more insight into relationship and attitude communication interests. I research and analyze a lot. So now that the pain subsided from the initial sting and u failed at no contact even though I’m pretty sure he gas blocked me from everything before he could see them. Though I’m not 100℅ sure email, text and I’m pretty sure Facebook too. I now write in a journal to keep me sane. I’ve been hit on by a good amount of guys, I pray ALOT maybe I’m terrified to be labeled psycho or crazy … But yet my heart screams get your MAN back!!!!!!!

Adrienne

June 12, 2016 at 10:54 am

Just a day past the 30day mark of break up … It’s still hard! I am blocked and he is deployed…. :-/ hoping he will find a will in his heart to contact me. If not we’ll 5months and one week before I may get lucky to hear from him!
Adrienne

May 28, 2016 at 6:16 pm

thanks for the reply I am regaining balance definitely but in doing so and learning this whole communication thing I find so many things that I think we can benefit from and I often find myself fighting the urges to share the knowledge with him. I have not had any contact with him since the day after I left which was of course the two days I’m sure I was labeled as a psycho for begging and trying to convince him arguments were ok and that it was a sign of disagreements and learning from each other. And that if we just stayed strong and believed we could be an amazing couple. Mind you these arguments were not shouting matches of anger with cursing or name calling, they were heated arguments of stubbornness and not listening or paying attention and admittance. Any how since the long email I posted one/two days past break-up. I only broke no contact to send him a copy of the journal entry a week ago that related to him deploying which I felt maybe he feared and that’s why he broke up and decided not to try. I have no idea what I am blocked on, I’m terrified to text him, email either he is not getting because he blocked me or I just have pushed so far to the side he just doesn’t care right now. So again with each day passing I think he is now deployed, I miss him millions, I am still working on my self and I struggle daily to write in s journal and pray instead of breaking Noo Contact!
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 26, 2016 at 9:25 am

Hi Adrienne,

it’s good that you’re journaling.Complete a 45 day nc since you were a gnat. Are you staying strong in no contact? Be sure to improve yourself and while in no contact and to focus on regaining balance in your life.

Gina

May 21, 2016 at 3:32 am

Hi Chris! So I was just dumped from a nearly 6 year relationship. He said the realationship wasn’t ‘healthy’, that we fight too much, and that he didn’t have any more energy to put into it. A big issue we’d previously had troubles with was that he didn’t like the emotional dependence I had on him and that he felt pressure being the source of a lot of my happiness. The thing is, I was emotionally completely invested in him and am devastated now and want him back. I realize I have things to work on myself and will do my darndest to implement the NC rule (though it’s going to be extremely difficult). My main issue though, is he will me moving out of state within the next few months and I desperately feel the need to see him before he leaves, it feels like it might be my last chance to ever see him again in person.. Ever :/ Please, what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 25, 2016 at 1:51 pm

Hi Gina,

how few is it? if that’s the case, and if you build enough rapport, then that means you have to treat like a long distance relationship and that means if you don’t get back together before he leaves then you would have to build more rapport while he’s there

Maggie

May 15, 2016 at 4:37 pm

Hi, I went out with my ex boyfriend for only eight months, we are both studying a masters degree and I travel to my home place every weekend because I have a son in another state. I am a separated woman, I was married to a guy for seven years and after the separation I didn’t kick him our of the house, so every weekend I used to see him, and I kept my distance from him until a month ago and I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex husband for over a month. He caught me and I’m truly sorry, I feel devastated and awful for all the things I did. After the break up he blocked me from all social media and whatsapp, I didn’t try to contact him at all for the same reason I’m a mess emotionally and I don’t think he wants anything to do with me. He already had some trusting and jealousy issues, and I assumed after what I did I didn’t want to bother him with my feelings. A week passed and he sent me a message asking me why did I play with him like that, he sent a lot of messages that were somehow with a lot of anger, my replies were very accepting of the things I did and I didn’t try to tell him to let me into his life again, but he asked me to come to his place and have sex or just keep him company, he told me he has some mix feelings towards me, I went there and he was a little bit drunk, we had sex and and in the same week I ask him if I could go to his place for a hug and he treated me nicely and we had sex again. But then on thursday he sent me some messages telling me that i shouldn’t have my hopes high because we weren’t coming back and we weren’t having a relationship, I don’t know if I should just move on or at some point after I heal and he heals try to reach him? By the way he didn’t block me back from whatsapp, and another thing he did ask me why I did it, and also if I kick my ex husband from the house, that I hadn’t done when he asked me, but I have done it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2016 at 7:24 am

Hi Maggie,

If you want to try no contact first, that’s better.. It’s also good that you don’t live with your husband anymore because that’s a big step to get his trust back.. and don’t sleep with your current ex again.. YOu should check this post out too:
EBR 020- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated
Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 5:54 am

HI Jo,

Actually I think he’s moving on… for me you could have met just avoid a places that will end up with you two sleeping.. you can try to contact him again, ask why he called.. and then start from there.. but if he still with the other girl.. it’s really better if you move on.. but if he left the other girl.. then it’s ok to talk to him again.
Madison

April 27, 2016 at 8:13 pm

Hey after a year of being together and being engaged, my fiancé broke up with me. His mother said he still loves me and he told my
Mom that he still loves me…I am really mean to him, impatient, and stuff. But it’s not always been bad, we moved out of his parents house and got an apartment and everything. The one day he got the courage to tell me he needs a break or whatever and that he would still let me stay at home so I could have a home because I have no friends and barely any family and none I could stay with. At first I was calm but then I started freaking out, I really love this man to death and I know he loves me too it’s just that my anger towards him was taking a toll. I wasn’t always angry either just once in a while but when I was I was mean to him despite everything he has done for me. He saved me from homeless ness and brought me to his parents home as a stranger one year ago from May 3rd, 2016. We hit it off right away the first time he saw me he kissed me and we held hands. Intimacy came naturally a few days later. He saved my life and were the same age 19 and 20. He’s a very mature man and he IS NOT like most men, he cries and shows his feelings a lot and is compassionate. He loves animals and has a job with animals. He made everything seem ok and that we had made up after he told me he might want a break but then the next day I drive him to work in a shared car that he took with him and I got to his parents house to talk to his sister, and then I go hang out with him on his lunch break and we are pizza that he bought for us and after he kisses me and tells me that he loves me. That’s the last time I saw him. Then I go back to his parents house tell his sister what had happened the day before when he thought he might’ve wanted to take a break and a couple hours later he’s totally changed his mind and his sister tells me he doesn’t want to be with me and he’s at work and isn’t telling me his himself or anything which tells me it’s very hard for him to have had to do that. He was worried I would hurt myself because I always said that (wrong of me) or hurt him physically or whatever (which I would NEVER DO) anyways his sister and mom drives me to work at 10pm overnight shift and sister hugs me. They say they’ll be there for me in the morning to pick me up but then during my shift I kind of lost it telling the sister through text and him that I wanted to die and stuff so she called the ambulance on me. I might add he hadnt blocked me through phone or Facebook till I started pestering him. So then in the morning I get discharged from the hospital nobody is answering their phones and I live at least 45 minutes from the hospital. The mom and his sister had said everything would be okay and that I could still talk to his sister and his mom. Well that didn’t happen. His sister kept sending me messages like “leave my family alone” even though The mom was still okay with communicating with me so I think his sister was just angry. After all this HIS aunt answers and she lets me come stay for a few days till I can get a ride home. The mother of my fiancé tells me while I’m at the aunts house “I can drop some of your stuff off to you, and he wants to come over to talk to you, is that ok?” So I go home and she texts saying she couldn’t make it and that “he thought he was ready to talk to me but isn’t yet” verbatim, and so for the next 3 days she tells me she can’t make it with my stuff yet but on the 4th day she comes and we have a talk and she bring me some of my stuff. And she says like after I asked “if he wants to get back with me would you be opposed” (because he cares a lot about what his family thinks) and so his mom says “I would be supportive of him cause he’s my son, I’d be supportive of you both” and she says he stills loves me and that this is hard for him. (When I got out of the hospital I star 67’ed him cause he blocked me out of like the tenth phone call he answers and is like “stop calling me you can’t manipulate me anymore leave me and my family alone” then he texts my mom saying “she keeps messing me, we’re over, I can’t do this anymore, I still love her truly, but the relationship is poison” ) mind you we have sex like everyday so healthy, he respects me and my body doesn’t force me or pressure me loves me for me because I’m overweight he’s skinny and good looking and I’m kind of average, we told eachother everything at least I did I trusted him and belive he trusted me too. We laughed a lot just like a day before all this and we have a lot of inside jokes always always even the last time we saw eachother told eachother that we love eachother and kissed eachother affection Was not lacking. So then I’m blocked from Facebook, texting, and calling. At this point all I know is Facebook. Not email or snapchat I don’t know of I don’t want to try because I’m on a 30 day no contact. I haven’t contacted him now for like 4 to 5 days out of like 7 or 8 days of break up. I went into his Facebook and changed his password he went into mine and deactivated mine but I got back in and while I was in his Facebook I added myself back as a friend cause he had blocked me. So now today I’m blocked again. After like 2 or 3 days of positivity not contacting him and posting happy things and updates like me getting a job and taking care of the apartment by myself. I also think if I hadn’t of spAzzed out and sent to the hospital by his sister things mightve not turned out this bad. I do think though that it’s cause he needs his time and can’t be reminded of me. He took all his pictures of us off Facebook and all of our posts are still there. He took our cat and bearded dragon with him but he cares a lot of animals and they needed to be fed I wasn’t home for like 4 days and stuff but his mom said I’m not in a position to take care of a cat right now and we can talk when I’m able to take care of my car so it’s not like they took him away forever just till I get a steady income for a living breathing pet. Also he left some things at our house even though it was ransacked when I got home but not in a disrespectful way. He went through our drawers for clothes and he left gamers posters, gamers statues, books, some clothes even ones that he loved, almost all his underwear even though the bin had been ransacked through and his headphones he loved that are like high tech were on the floor… He hid our restraints under the bed if you know what I mean. He even left me his tv so I wouldn’t be even more lonely or something even though his sister has my tv… His friends say like “he doesn’t love you you won’t get back together” but his friends haven’t liked em since day one most of them and I belive they just say that because they’re assholes. His mom said to stay in contact with her and that she can communicate through the both of us,, but whenever I message her about things she doesn’t want to talk about like him she doesn’t respond. I just think I need to get better and show her and not talk to her for like a week. I got therapy the day after he was still talking to me (the day I for out of the hospital his aunt drove me) and a job and am planning on being independent (his mom said it was never his intention to abandon me or drop me with all the bills and that this month she knows he’ll pay his half but that she doesn’t know what his plans are for the future and that well “figure it out”) (his mom is the type of mom to not make her son do anything and that it’s his choice on whatever he does) (she let me move in the first day we met) the only thing is the family did like me but they didn’t support the marriage yet (they said we need meds therapy a steady job for me and stuff like that) so my fiancé and I are legally married but I put fiancé because when he was still talking to me he said he just wants to be engaged because he felt like he was pressured into the marriage because he felt like if he didn’t do it that I would hurt myself. Which I never said that… Anyways when we’re still talking the day before he totally ends things he tries putting my ring on my finger and says we can be engaged but I politely say we could just be boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever and we can bring the ring back because I don’t want him to feel pressured and he said he didn’t want to bring the ring back, that I could keep the ring and that he would feel more comfortable calling me girlfriend or fiancé and that I could still call him my husband. That night he let me suck his you know what but he’s not the type to use a girl, to pressure a girl or anything so I feel like he truly wanted it from me. He kept saying he was confused about what he wanted in the relationship. He said I scared him a lot when I freaked out and was trying to hurt myself and I was screaming he said that it scared him. I begged him and told him I could make it work and I feel like if I hadn’t of flipped out then and tried to reason with him too it wouldn’t have turned out to the point where he felt like he had to sneak around and tell his sister instead of me. I know he loves me deeply but the question is for my end did I ruin it and if I continue the no contact for 30 days then does anybody think I have hope for my relationship to continue I am independent now with a job closer to home and I will pay the bills myself and show him because I used to quit all my jobs and I wasn’t in therapy or on medication and I’ll keep my job and be on therapy and medication. My psychiatrist appointment is Monday. Our anniversary is Tuesday May 3rd… It’s going to be hard without him. I want to know does anybody think there’s a chance and if you could give me a detailed response. Also I don’t want anybody aaying just move on because we’ve been through so much, we are technically married… You know, and ps when we moved out of his parents house his grandma and sister moved in. There are only 3 bedrooms and no one is leaving anytime soon last time I checked and his friends aren’t interested in moving out one is going to college and they know he has a house of his own here with me. We never cheated and don’t believe in it and that I know for a fact. And divorce is hard but I don’t know about enullment? And he’s on the lease he knows what happens if he breaks his agreement. We have too much to lose… He doesn’t have a bed or bedroom there his bed and bedroom is here.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 6:45 am

Hi Madison,

with everything that happened and with the way he acted now, it means he really took time before doing any of this and it looks he’s fed up.. if you really want him back 30 days is not enough. It’s a start but you won’t fool anybody that you changed totally after 30 days.. he may see it but of course he knows he has to give it time to see if you really changed and not just doing it to get him back.. and actually, when you know you can live without him, that it’s ok if he really wants to move on even though it hurts, that mean you really are independent and not just wanting a relationship out of attention and affections. love yourself first.. if you were able to meet at the worse state in your life, what more when you’re doing better.. take it slow.. nothing good comes in rushed manner.. if you really love him let him have time for himself to heal and for you to grow first.. If you really love him, you would give the best you

Glyn

April 27, 2016 at 8:27 am

I discovered that my ex was a lying, cheating assclown and i broke up with him (Picture Beyonce -irreplacable style). It was an ugly break up as he started sending threats and harrassing messages. Eventually, i showed him hard evidence of his cheating ways and he backed off.

It was through the breakup that i discovered the real him. Cant belive that I could have fallen for an asshole like him.

I’ve now gone on full block out mode and will never ever speak to him again. Ladies, why would you ever go back to a relationship you weren’t happy in? Life is short and you should find a man who will love you as you deserve to be loved.
Val

April 15, 2016 at 3:54 pm

My ex broke up with me six weeks ago now, and I’ve done a horrible job at no contact. I had never been in love with anyone the way I loved him, and no one had ever broken up with me before. The longest I went was ten days. Some context: after he broke up with me I went to see my sexually abusive father for answers, and of course told him where I was going for safety reasons. Well seeing him was a horrible idea as he just took advantage of me showing up at his house, and I wound up being hospitalized for three days during which my ex was really nice on day one, and then his tone got more angry the next two days. The last time he texted me I was on my way home, but when I said I had gotten back he ghosted me completely. I was so confused because I thought he cared about me and at least loved me as a friend. I then got suicidal because of what I was going through, and haven’t really been able to process what happened with my dad nor what happened with my ex because my mind keeps jumping back and forth between the two so I’m in a constant battle with myself. I tried NC and kept breaking it once a week for five weeks, during which time I had convinced myself I was better and sent him a really long message explaining everything, which he ignored as well. Then on Saturday/Sunday I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to stay with another ex so that he could protect me from myself, but instead I wound up more suicidal and texted him about it (but I tried to make it clear it wasn’t because he wouldn’t take me back, just because of what was going on with my father. I did bring up the fact that he was ignoring me and how upsetting it was, and how angry I had been when I discovered he had joined tinder just three days after we broke up), he proceeded to block me on Facebook and his phone on Sunday. Am I to far gone now to every get him to talk to me again? I don’t even think I would want him back, I just wanted someone to talk to.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 4:10 am

Hi Val,

You should go to therapy and focus on you first.. Think about this way, it’s not love if you’re not complete and you’re getting it from somebody else.. You have to be complete first so the person who will come along is an addition to your life and you know that you really love him and it’s not out of emotional necessity.

sweety

April 14, 2016 at 10:58 pm

Hi,
I have read alot of stuff in this website and its pretty interesting and gave a little hope that I can still get back the one I love.
My story is little different and complicated. I came to another country leaving beind my parents and property in my home country to study. After coming here, I have met this guy. Recently I got to know from mutual friends that this guy likes me before he met me by seeing me in facebook. However he approached me as if he dont know me. At first he gave me time and tried to get my attention but I am not a girl who falls for any guy. I am 23 and till now I had only one boy friend. we used to hangout as friends and one night he took me to a peaceful place where there is no one and told everything about him like his past relationships and also his family problems. Then he cried infront of me about his father’s demise. Then I started thinking about him and liked the way he is acting responsible to his family. So I told him that i like him and I am interested in him. He said he likes me too but he cant let me be serious about him becoz he have greater responsibilities to take care of his family. But i said its ok and we hanged out and we kissed and we were happy till some point. But he used to neglect my texts and reply to my text after a very long time. When i ask he says he is busy studying but he replies to others and his phone is always with him. He didnt want anyone to know about our relationship coz he thought his friends would think bad about him or me if he gets another girlfriend right after his breakup with his ex. I used to get really desperate becoz he dont used to ping me back or meet me even thrice a week even though he is my neighbour. All the time he used to say that he dont want me to take everything serious becoz he might hurt me at the end but again he used to meet me and kiss me and behave like he likes me from heart. I really didnt know what his true intentions are so I told him that i wanna take him serious. Then he suddenly stopped replying. Then i went crazy and i kept texting him atleast twice a day. Then finally i showed up at his house to ask him whats wrong. He said he cant talk to me if i take things serious. Then i said i will not disturb him again but then he said he needs time to be normal and make things right. I said fine and didnt talk to him and apologized for my behavior. He finally pinged me he would meet me and sort things out. But here is the twist ! the next day he suddenly said he dont want to meet me. The reason he said is that he heard from some of his friends that I told them that he is cheating me by just using me and that i shared his family problems to others. I never said that he cheated me but i told all this story to two people and it went to him in a wrong way. I pleaded him not to do this and really begged him by saying that its not my mistake. He said i irritate him and he hates me and asked me to stay away from him. I said ok and asked him to block me so that i wont disturb him. He really did block me in watsapp and facebook. I know he is in depression and he is not in his right mind to trust anyone now. I didnt ping him back on phone after he blocked me. The only social site that he can see me is instagram.But i really want him back because i really love him so much. what can I do ?

sweety

April 15, 2016 at 7:54 pm

Hi,
I am waiting for your reply. I forgot to mention that we were together only for 2 months and Its already been two weeks he blocked me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 1:30 am

Hi Sweety,

I think he was clear with his intentions.. He just wants a relationship with no strings attached.. He repeatedly said he doesn’t want a serious relationship but I understand that you fell for him because of his actions.. But that’s the thing.. girls take it emotionally, guys sometimes don’t, just like in your case. You have to move on..if a guy says he is not serious, better avoid him when you’re starting to fall.

Charlotte

April 11, 2016 at 2:54 am

Hey my ex and I have been split for around 6 weeks now, I have done the usual bugging him constantly and yesterday he got really angry and said I’m pushing him to the point he will block me, and so he did on whatsapp…I’m not sure if he has blocked me on his actual phone as I have not tried to call it text him to find out, I then unfriended him on Facebook as I do not really want to see anything that is going on as I will not be making contact now he has blocked me on what’s app. My question is without knowing if he has blocked me on his phone and I have unfriended him on Facebook, do you think a period of NC will make a difference now as I have ‘pushed’ him to block me? Thanks

Charlotte

April 15, 2016 at 6:43 am

Hi Amor

Sorry me again, so he unblocked me but has made no effort to contact etc, I’m a little confused as to why he may unblock but make no means of communication, the last things he said were to leave him alone, all the messages were too much and it was embarrassing, which only leads me to question why he would unblock as surly he doesn’t want me to contact based on what he said? Some have said maybe he just doesn’t care about me anymore to keep me blocked so I am going to continue with Nc I just feel that at the end if that’s the case and haven’t heard from him should I still make contact as Chris suggests?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 2:13 am

More likely because there’s no need to unblock you because you’re not bothering him anymore.. if you want to contact him.. you really have to appear that you are moving on, so when you try, you will just look being friendly.
Charlotte

April 13, 2016 at 9:29 am

Oh ok I see what you mean… Well day 3 of being blocked on what’s app and he unblocked me! He hasn’t messaged me and I’m continuining with NC so let’s see what happens. I am hoping he has unblocked me and it hasn’t happened by mistake haha although I’m not sure if that can happen on what’s app!
Charlotte

April 11, 2016 at 2:31 pm

Hi Amor

Thanks for your reply although I’m a little confused, what do you mean by, don’t just not contact him and post it? He is still following me on instagram and hasn’t blocked me from Facebook yet so I’m hoping this is the positive in a negative situation
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 13, 2016 at 6:23 am

sorry! I meant don’t just not contact him and do nothing..be productive and post your activities in social media
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 11, 2016 at 12:31 pm

Hi Charlotte,

well it’s the better choice unless you want to move on..if you’re going to do nc that means you have to put him aside and focus in regaining balance in your life and healing.. to be more emotionally stable.. don’t just not contact him.. and post it.. even though you unfriended him, that doesn’t mean there’s no chance that he won’t check it out

Em

April 10, 2016 at 5:26 am

Hi, my ex and I were in a LDR for 7 months and we adored each other. We only ever had minor disagreements and were trying to make plans to be together long term. About a month ago, he began to get really serious about commitment etc, was quite jealous of other males in my life (which I had reassured him about constantly) and I got really fed up and told him I felt he was suffocating me a little bit and I was uncomfortable. He took it really hard, was really hurt and rejected and said he wanted space so I gave him that. Initially I was relieved, until a week or so in he started blocking me little by little. There was no response to my messages but he would answer my calls and say he was angry i was not giving him ‘space’. I said thats fine but why are you blocking me etc and he said it was hurting him to see me online.
I guess I became clingy and started to panic, because this went on for 2 more weeks and I tried my best to give him space but it was very painful. In the end we worked it out after an intense conversation and things seemed okay for a few days, almost back to normal. He was a little bit distant and not entirely himself, but he was still very loving as he had been and we even talked about him moving here.
That all changed when the next afternoon after not hearing from him I messaged him. He left me on seen and did not respond for over a day. During that time I got worried and spam called him, thinking something bad had happened. He called me early the next morning and got really defensive when I questioned his whereabouts, he told me he was sleeping. We talked about where things were going with us relationship wise and after that phonecall he never spoke to me again for another day. When I did call eventually he didn’t answer so I used another number and he answered straight away but was very blunt and cold. I left him alone but the next day I realised he had started blocking me from everything again. I called him continuously in a rage but he wouldnt answer. Then I got messages telling me i was obsessive and creepy and to leave him alone, he was blocking deleting me and moving. Then he did just that. That was 7 days ago and I did not contact him again so I will do 23 more days no contact. Is that long enough? And is there a chance for us? He never said we are over, I don’t love you or anything. He just acted like I was a stalker or something and then basically has ghosted me. I know he is struggling with depression too.

Em

April 10, 2016 at 5:31 am

I need to add it is a full blackout too, it seems really extreme. There are a few ways I could still contact him after NC though so Im not too worried at this stage
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2016 at 10:53 am

If it’s like that, be sure to be active in no contact.. Have your own life, build a new routine and make new friends, have a new hobby.. That’s the purpose of nc, to be focused on yourself first. Do that first, since you’re also fully blocked. Set him aside for 30 days before trying to contact him if he ever unblocks you.

Confused

April 4, 2016 at 7:32 pm

Well here is my story I was with him for 6 years and recently broke up 4 months ago. We were talking up until a month a half ago which is when he blocked me and told me we’d evaluate everything in half a year. I then initiated my no contact rule and he then started texting a week ago which was over a month of no contact and he wanted to apologize. He told me when he blocked me that he loved me, but there was no feelings there anymore. We have been texting for a few days now… I’m more concerned if I should text him back even though sometimes the texts take awhile. The strange thing is that he started talking to me again, but I’m still blocked. I would like to be with him again, is there any chance?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 5, 2016 at 7:57 am

Hi Confused,

you can try to rebuild attraction through texts and then calls, and if it could progress to a meet up.. if not then at least you know you trued

CHRISTINE

April 4, 2016 at 12:16 am

Yeah I’m still waiting … Because it is the only choice as you said .
But what do you think ? I mean what will happen , will he unblock me and talk to me again???

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 2:11 pm

Honestly I’m not sure because most actually take 3 weeks, I’ve seen 3 months so the healthier choice is to make set a limit for yourself

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 5:03 am

HI Christine,

Sorry for the late reply.. Yes, you really have to wait. It’s the only choice. Let’s say you write a letter, wouldn’t you appear desperate if you do that? Give yourself a timeline until when you could wait before you try to move on.
faith07

April 2, 2016 at 9:43 pm

Hi,

I broke up with my ex bf a year and 3 months ago after 7 years of LDR due to family emotional pressure. During this break up period my ex bf approached me many times asking how I feel however I never opened up and told him that I still love him. About 3 months back he called me to inform that he has been seeing another girl and it has been around 8 to 9 months now. Since I have not got over him I begged him to come back to me however he mentioned that he is still broken by the fact that I left him and is still unable to get over it. Since then we have been talking to each other without the knowledge of his current girlfriend. He says he still loves me however he does not want to break up with his gf without any reason and hurt her. He also says that he has the faith that we might end up being together and asked me to have the hope. I am really confused and unable to understand why is he not willing to break up with his gf when he still loves me? Can you please shed some light on this?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 7:58 am

Hi Faith,

sorry for the late reply.. it looks like he’s being safe.. talk to him calmly.. Tell him that you understand him but you also need to be fair to yourself..If he can’t leave his current gf where would that leave you? Give yourself time until when you would wait but after that move on

Miranda

April 2, 2016 at 6:27 pm

Hey there,
I’ve been following this blog for awhile now. And before asking a question, I usually try to look for the answer myself first. There are a couple of things I’d like to ask.

First off, I have had a chronic illness for all of my life and I’m 100% independent when it comes to taking care of myself. However, when my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me he said I was looking for sympathy (I’m not) and going through “a rough patch.” I’m not reliant on him for anything other than emotional support. I can see how maybe me skyping him more often to the end, would’ve driven him nuts, but it was only after he blew off my birthday and then two weeks straight after he promised to see me. I’m doing pretty fine right now, but I have to admit I miss getting to talk to him after a long day of hospital visits. Aside from feeling better and becoming positive and independent, do you have any advice for people trying to get back their exes when one person (me) has a chronic illness?

Also, I religiously followed the no contact rule. After completing it, I decided to reach out to him through Skype in a short reminiscing message. This morning it appears that he unfriended (NOT blocked) me on Skype. This means I have the option to resend the friend request. He hasn’t blocked me anywhere else. Neither of us have contacted each other for the NC. Should I wait about a week to resend a Skype request?

Miranda

April 4, 2016 at 6:36 pm

But my first move was sending a short Skype message. The result was that he unfriended me the next day. I’ve already made the first move. I’m asking if I should wait before I try to resend it?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 5, 2016 at 7:32 am

Oh okay.. sorry I misunderstood.. nope.. wait a week or two, but if you can through text or other form of messaging that’s better
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 7:06 am

it’s ok to send the requeat now as a first move

R

April 2, 2016 at 12:43 pm

Hi. My ex and I were together on and off for two and a half years, one of those years was long distance. We were planning on moving in together this summer, so things were pretty serious. We have been broken up for about a month now. He broke up with me because I had gotten drunk one night with my friend (who is also a girl) and told her I wanted to have sex with her, and he saw that as cheating, even though I’m not bisexual and nothing happened. I was just drunk and saying stupid stuff. He tried forgiving me for it, but he couldn’t and eventually broke up with me. We kept in touch for about a week after the break-up, but mostly fought, and then he blocked me on Facebook. I found out later he had met another girl 4 days after the break up and they have been seeing each other since then. I also found out that while we were together, he had invited two girls over to his place after a night out, which he never told me about or mentioned to me. I was drunk when I found out so I texted him saying I hate him and I want him to die. He responded by saying he never wanted to talk to me again, then he blocked me on his phone too. We haven’t talked since then, the only place he hasn’t blocked me is Instagram, I think because he wants me to see that he’s doing well. I have a tumblr which he usually checks pretty often (I have a program that shows who’s been on it), but he hasn’t even looked at it for 3 weeks (since he blocked me). I’ve run into him twice since he blocked me, but he has ignored me and walked away (I didn’t try to talk to him either times).
I feel like he’s serious about moving on, especially since he is not even checking up on me anymore. It hurts and I am still in shock that this is happening. He has broken up with me and blocked me many times before but we’ve never before went this long without talking and he’s never before started dating anyone else. What can I do? Do I just wait for him to unblock me and realize he’s made a mistake or should I move on and realize he’s not coming back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 6:02 am

Hi R,

it looks he just used that reason to break uo.. For me you should move on. It’s not good that he has done this a lot and has been lying to you

Siv

April 2, 2016 at 11:06 am

Hi I wanted to share a story which may be different for your readers – I had a girl come into my place to help me out with cleaning . I was formal with her and used to get her stuff when I travel . Slowly we became romantically involved , she was married and was in a unhappy marriage and would use me as an emotional support . Once when she gave me her phone to install an app , u saw a photo of her with another guy who was not her Husband and they were kissing . When I told her she said it wasn’t serious and it was over …. I got back to her then I saw a few missed calls coming from a guy … When I asked her about it she told it was from the same guy … I presumed it was ok since she told me it was … But I was very jealous since I began to have very strong feelings for her and I really wanted her to be a part of my life . Then she told she was leaving to her home country and will not be back . 3 Mths later I come to hear that she is back when I called her she said she didn’t consider me a bf just a friend . I surfed through her fb list and found out the guy who used to call her was not the same guy whom she posted pics with but her Brother in law . I was angry and told her I had found things about her and she blocked me on WhatsApp phone and Facebook …. I am devastated… I wanted to hurt her and was dating others when one day I saw her when I was with my Friend … I could see her jealous and when I texted her she replied never to text her again … I am giving her the no contact and it’s been over a week … Do u think it will work for a person like her ????

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 5:39 am

Hi Siv,

for me no, because it looks like she’s been dating a lot of guys even while married. You can’t trust that type of person

Diane

March 29, 2016 at 12:48 pm

Hello!

(Before starting I want to say I love this page as it’s super helpful and well designed (I’m a web developer) and I really need a reply as soon as possible to my issue.)

So I’m in a really bad situation. I’ve been talking to this guy for three years, we were never official but it was quite clear that at the start we were into each other – although with time it showed that I was more interested with him rather than he was with me. At the start it was completely perfect – we’d text each other multiple times per day, he clearly was showing great interest in me, he appeared different than all the other guys I have ever known in my life, it just “clicked” immensely, we were practically almost there to be a couple. But as months went by, we had known each other for nearly 1.5 year at the time, I was starting to get ridiculously jealous whenever he would shower some other girl with attention and affection while he would completely forget that I even existed. He would sometimes apologize for that, sometimes redirect speech to what I did wrong (lashing out in jealousy, and I understand him for that,), and in most cases we would resolve this (mostly with my initiative because I hated distance between us) but as it turns out, it was never completely permanent. The fact that I was completely infatuated with him then actually in love with him because we had an amazing emotional connection made me wish for “something more” than just occasional kisses, hearing about the things he’d normally not tell anyone… I wanted to be his woman. I wanted to be his only woman, the queen. And as he used to tell me, there was a point in our relationship where I was number 1 to him… but we never got to that point I wanted. Sometimes it felt like I was forcing him to do certain things but he still went around with them.
Where I left… So. We had our first really huge fight in late 2014, where he said that if I don’t overcome my trust issues (he lied/boasted to people he slept with someone else, go figure) and my jealousy, I’m out of the picture. I begged, pleaded, dragged some of our mutuals into this, tortured myself physically (yeah, it was that bad), he still ended up blocking me on Whatsapp and on Twitter. I backed off for some weeks, can’t remember how many exactly but by the very end of the year I convinced him to give it a shot as I’ve changed to a certain extend. He was hesitant but got persuaded. Two months after that, it wasn’t that good – we would still occasionally argue as to why we never spend time with each other as I would imply that he always finds time for others and never for me. And for some months after that, the better period came – we were actually holding it in together, he’d still make me jealous but it wasn’t as dramatic. Then. He got introduced to some girl by his best friend. They ended up dating, I mean actually in a relationship, it didn’t last long (got cheated, manipulated, all the bad things) but it was quite unbearable for me even if I had told him I’m fine being friends for the time being. After that he seemed like a completely changed man and I was extremely happy for that, for about three months it was the closest to perfect as it was in a year. He would still sometimes get annoyed with my excess affection but he actually understood why I felt that way. But then he got overwhelmed with work, his dog died, he became distant, mostly with me as I had noticed. I tried to get through to him, show him that I was there for him but he kept pushing me away, sometimes we’d talk nicely, sometimes we didn’t. In late last autumn he had stated we clearly “never even matched up in the first place and it was all somewhat forced at times”, which I thought was complete BS at the time. He was set to leave for his studies abroad for half a year before we had come to an honest closure and hiatus of our relation-friend-whatever-ship. It was the hardest thing for me at the time, I wasn’t always successful (I ended up contacting him telling him how bloody awful he was for crushing over random people, having parties with his friends back home and never considering maybe I wanted to be part of it too), he would respond and leave it at that saying I gotta sort myself out. For about 6 weeks, I went all NC on him (minus the deleting him off social media part) and I can’t tell if that worked out or not but kind of recently we started talking again – I told him I was so over him, seeing other guys, getting into a bit of relationships like he would. He wasn’t pleased hearing that. (He might have been jealous but didn’t want to show that to me as I overanalyze every detail.) But we quickly found easy topics to talk about, he was actually kind of happy to talk to me, and he talked about what was going on with him, how good he’s doing and that he’d come back home for Easter. And there I thought, “this may or may not be a good shot”, so I thought, “screw it” and I asked him whether he’d want a Skype chat or to meet up for a coffee or lunch, he, after ignoring for some hours, indicated he wanted neither and the meet up for lunch thing was “I’m not ready for that yet”. Before that, I did try to invite him to come with me to a concert of our fav band in summer but in a bit of a rude tone like “if you don’t come with me, then you can screw yourself, and don’t try to be nice with me as I won’t”. And right now, as I’m writing this, that was literally the top third stupidest thing I ever said in my entire life and no wonder it ended up with (….just a few more sentences…). Well, two days later he said he was going to the same concert with some other girl’s friends. Wasn’t that a huge “go f*** yourself”? I thought it was and I was clearly upset. He thought I was going jealous over him having friends, talking to girls but in reality I detested the distance between us, that he didn’t want me around. Some of his last messages to me were “friendship cannot be forced and I don’t care about a specific time limit, once I feel like you’ve moved on genuinely, I will show up and the faster you do it, the faster it’ll happen, it’s not a prison”. Was he right? Yes. Did I want to admit that entirely? Yes and no. I understood his point but I didn’t want to wait for a year to see him again. It hurt enough not seeing him for three months.
Here comes the part where I dug my grave – I told him straight up what I thought of him, how cruel and inconsiderate he is in a rude tone and that all he cares about is himself, his “perfect friends” and the random girls on Tinder/Twitter. He ignored everything, I got even angrier and for two days I was like that. My last message to him was “Go ahead and offend me, may at least something be mutual between us”. And. He blocked me. Not just on Facebook but on every single platform we had contacted before, including my phone number. I was shocked, crushed. I tried contacting him through Twitter to find out he blocked me after that. He didn’t even said anything prior that. His actual last message was “Read our older chats. That is all.” two days before. I tried emailing him after cooling off (after an hour) and God (or just him) knows if he actually read the emails and didn’t send them all to spam, it’s impossible to tell. I know this whole situation is bad, I feel devastated as it’s still only roughly two days after it had happened but I need to know if there’s any hope of him actually at least unblocking me? I know I basically screwed it up big time and he thought I didn’t make any progress even if I was seeing the shrink he recommended because I got a full block. Hell, I deserved it, I was a retard. But I don’t want to think it’s over for good. I have feelings for him, but they are mostly only friendly as I’d never date a guy who finds girls he’ll never even meet perfect. Maybe, if he understood how bad I felt, I’d go for it but right now I want to keep it friendly, have him in my life, be in his. Would I cope with his rebounds and girlfriends? I’d find a way. I’d rather have him around even if it still stings than not have him around anymore and find myself depressed because of that.
I’ve talked to some friends even my mother. My friends for the most part said to give him time and see if he comes around, if he doesn’t, wait it out and apologize, show him I’ve seen the error of my ways and find a way to contact him. My mom, after hearing the full story and realizing how similar he is to my dad, said he’ll definitely come around as for some reason it’s destined. Thought she was just kidding me to make me feel better. But the best advice I got was to just keep focused on myself. Which I think is true but the uncertainty of me ever seeing him again (we live in the same small town but still) kills me inside. One moment I smile and think, “oh he’ll miss me eventually” but the other I cry like a baby, can’t sleep at night, thank God I don’t try to intentionally kill myself anymore, and think “If he did that, it means it’s over for good, I definitely lost him forever.”. This internal conflicts butchers me. I know I myself will be fine eventually, don’t know how he’s handling it but he will too. But the thought of us never being friends, nor speaking to each other… it tortures me. I’d be fine, really fine, knowing it’s just temporary but there’s some sort of block in my brain saying “What if it’s not? If he went all the way with this, it might be the end.” I’m actually quite a busy girl, I have uni, some projects to do, I have friends (not as close as him but still do) and I cannot bring myself to either of these things mentally.

I want to know if he’ll come around on his own after that and if possible, how long could it take?

TL;DR I got myself fully blocked by my intermittent boyfriend/close friend by being an all around jealous and clingy b**** of three years after a series of events. What are my chances of some sort of reconciliation in the future?

Again, thank you for your time, it means a lot.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 5:59 am

HI Diane,

it depends, sometimes after 3 weeks of being silent they unblock but some take three months. For now, focus on you first, try to prepare yourself if ever he doesn’t want to get back.

angie

March 25, 2016 at 9:02 am

hi. me and my exboyfriend (3years together) broke up 3 months ago so that was on january. he have a lot of excuses like he want to focus on his career, and his not ready. then after a month he stalk me on facebook and saw some pictures that made him jealous and mad i guess cause its a picture of me and a guy friend. then we didnt talk for like a month. i contact him and beg to talk to me so i end up going to his place then. then you know what happens next we did the thing. after that he told me the same thing again that he dont want relationship yet and want to focus on his career and saying that he dont trust me anymore because of the picture. so he thinks that there’s something between me and my friend which is not true. and that picture is group picture. i dont know know whats happening with him. i dont know if he just want to make me feel guilty or what. now he block me on messenger and ufriended me on facebook by the way he is a seafarer. he’ll be back after 6 months. dont know what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2016 at 12:43 pm

HI Angie,

I hate to say it but you appeared too easy for him when you slept together. And maybe he’s just making that picture as an excuse to cut loose with you..

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