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576 thoughts on “What To Do If You Get The Dreaded No Response After No Contact”

  1. nancy

    October 17, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    Hi Chris my guy and had been dating from a couple of years. His parents never approved of this relation. But we still continued and recently his parents told they would walk out of the house if he married me. So he just called n told one morning that he can’t continue. I was shocked n freaked out and told him to never contact me again. He deleted all his accounts n also threw his number. So I had no way to contact him again. But after couple of days through his frenz I somehow got to talk to him..and convinced him..but I did a mistake of asking my aunt for help.. I had asked her to convince his parents but instead she threatened his dad and insulted my guy..my guy who was convinced after this call..he calls me a day later telling he needs time . I was crying a lot that time.. I told him I’m ready to give as much time he wants but will he marry me..? He din respond that well. He jus told he needs time . I told ok.. A day later I told him to take care of himself n I understand him wanting time for himself ..I won’t disturb him until then ..but he replied asking how was I .. I jus replied to it .. And then two days later he told his granny passed away..I jus asked about everyone in his and told him to take care.. He replied to it n told he would msg later.. But he never msgd after that.. He has a new number now … He din give it to any of our mutual frenz .. A week later o so.. I was still wondering where s he n y he din call.. I called his house..his mom yelled at me n cut the call.. So I came to know he’s in college …I din contact him still.. I waited for a month n sent him a letter telling it was not my mistake that my aunt told all those things but I’m really sorry for it ..I told him to be strong and told I’ll be waiting .. But he never replied .. .my friend through one of his frenz whom my guy doesn’t know tried gettjng his number from his colleague but he din give it coz my guy has told them not to give his number to anyone whom he doesnt know. So that friend went and met my guy directly and asked the number telling one of his frenz wanted his number .. My guy told him he can’t give his number to someone whom he doesnt know as he has some problems outside. I had told my friend not to do it. But still he went and asked .I started crying a lot that day.. Decided to meet him next week.. Plz help me Chris.. I’m out of options ..I don’t want to look desperate so I din contact after that letter.. Its been nearly a month after I sent that letter too.. Plz tell me as to what to do Chris..I’m clueless.. Really need your help.. He was a really good man and I love him a lot.. But he just doesnt have the courage to convince his parents .. And now since I have no way to contact him I dunno wat to do.. Plz help me before I do one more blunder.. Its urgent

    1. nancy

      October 19, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      hi chris thank you so much for the reply. Well i was planning to go and meet him in his college next week. i wanted to know should i ? o should i not?

    2. Chris Seiter

      October 18, 2015 at 11:30 pm

      But you are meeting him in person next week?

      Isn’t that a good thing?

    3. nancy

      October 17, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      i wrote on this site previous month too but din get a response. chris this guy really matters a lot to me.. plz help me with this.. just tell me should i go to his college and meet him ? its like in a different state and i’m from a different state. plz help me out with this..

    4. Chris Seiter

      October 18, 2015 at 4:36 pm

      Personally I think he should be coming to you, or at least meeting you half way. You shouldn’t be going out of your way for him. At the least you can act like your meeting a friend up near him and have him meet you out somewhere.

  2. Wondering what to say

    October 16, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    Hi Chris! Is this a good first contact text for an angry ex? I’m really afraid of getting no response if I don’t make it perfect!

    Hey! I just found out [new season] of [show we love] started this month. I wanted to make sure you knew cause we were looking forward to the new season! I can’t wait to see what happens to [character] O:

    OR THIS ONE

    Hey! I just found out [new season] of [show we love] started this month. I wanted to make sure you knew cause we were looking forward to the new season! Are you gonna watch the new ones? šŸ™‚

    1. Wondering what to say

      October 28, 2015 at 11:00 pm

      So I sent the text exactly as you re-wrote it (OMG I just found out new season of show we love already started – I completely forgot! Did you know?), and he didn’t respond. šŸ™ I’m guessing his lack of response wasn’t due to the text itself, since it seemed good, right? I was sure he would answer! Do you think he’s still angry at me 2 months after the breakup and after a solid 40-day NC?? For reference he hasn’t contacted me at all.

      What do I do?
      1. How long do I wait before trying again?
      2. How can I have a better chance of getting him to respond at that point? I thought this text was pretty good, but is there something else I can try? Thank you!!

    2. Chris Seiter

      October 17, 2015 at 5:53 am

      Not a fan of either one…

      I would change it up to be like,

      OMG… I just found out [new season] of show we love is coming out… I completely forgot. Did you know?

  3. Elizabeth

    October 16, 2015 at 1:58 pm

    Hey Chris,

    I am struggling with a recent breakup (happened on Saturday, it’s been six days). We had been together for 2 years and we definitely moved in together too quickly. But, we had regular tiffs just like any other couple and we always handled them quickly and maturely. I came to find him packing a suitcase just saying he had to leave the relationship he wants freedom. He has shut off his emotions and says he doesn’t feel bad because he is choosing not to feel. Is that even a real thing or just an excuse because he doesn’t want to tell me that he really thinks it’s over. He is staying with his brother but we have been in contact through him coming over to get his stuff or me panicking because he won’t answer me and I go to his brother’s to see him. He still says he loves me and wants to wait a month and then see if we want to make it work. I am terrified of doing NC because I feel like he will just say “OK, cool! Finally she’s off my back I can do what I want.” I am heartbroken and he is going through with his everyday life like nothing is wrong. Any advice or approach?
    Thank you.

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 17, 2015 at 5:51 am

      Well, I think the problem might be the fact that you are on his back and he can’t breath. I say give him the time and revamp your image a bit so by the time you two do talk he will be blown away by how different you are.

  4. Jen

    October 14, 2015 at 9:43 pm

    Hey Chris!
    What does it mean when your ex responds to only some of your texts?
    So originally my NC ended about a month ago. The first contact was ignored, but he had been liking my social media posts (confusing!). Went back into NC for another week and tried again. It went perfectly.
    The first day, he was really happy to hear from me, I was ending conversations, he’d pick the conversation back up later in the same day, texted me all night (even told me he still loves me. He mentioned something about sex and when I told him he’d have to wait until I was ready, he said he’d wait), he even tried to set a meeting for the next day, but I had classes so we rescheduled for the weekend. During the first week we’re still having great positive conversations, everything is flowing nicely, he’s sending me kissy emojis, we spoke on the phone shortly about his new class. Like it’s too good to be true. The day we were supposed to meet, he had to take care of a few things, even FaceTimed me. He looked very happy to be talking to me. However we didn’t get to meet up because a hurricane was coming haha.
    The next week (last week), I totally messed things up by moving too fast. I was so eager that things had gone great the past week. I asked him what exactly it was we were doing (like to define our relationship as friends, talking, etc.). Totally made everything shift. We ended up speaking on the phone again to clear the issue up and he was just so unsure about everything. The only thing he didn’t seem to hesitate about was whether or not he loved me, which I guess is good but it’s confusing. He said he can’t emotionally handle a relationship right now (he’s been dealing with his friend’s suicide) and I get that. I kind of got emotional towards the end because I wanted to hear him tell me he loved me again. He did and he didn’t seem to have a problem saying it but I probably shouldn’t have done that. After that conversation, I’d txt him nice good morning texts (every 3 days, so twice that week) trying to be sensitive to the fact that he was still greiving by sending him positive energy and so he could know that there is someone that cares about him (he has abandonment issues) but this time he wasn’t replying. However, if I said something that was a question later that same day, he’d answer and respond positively for a while and then the conversation kind of dies after 10 msgs total.
    This week has been pretty much a continuation of that but yesterday I tried to take the power back. He’d ignored my morning txt but then later I asked a music question (we both have this analytical opinion of music). I tried to end the conversation saying I had class and added “I might txt u later. There’s something I want to tell u about. If not today then later this week.” (I actually was extremely busy yesterday). He kept responding when id say later or not now but I wouldn’t respond until like 2 hrs later because of my classes and I think it frustrated him. He even told me to make time which I thought was hilarious because he can’t make time to respond to some of my texts or text me first but he wants me to rearrange my schedule to tell him what it was I wanted to. Anyway, he was at work and I told him to txt me when he got home around 11pm because I had a lot of hw I needed to finish and we could talk then. He never texted back. So today, I ended up texting him the short version of what I had to say and he hasn’t responded to that either.
    I think I am making myself too available and now he feels like I’ll be here whenever he wants so he can ignore me. I’d been starting conversations with him every 3 days and I’m starting to think that was too frequent too soon.
    So, what does it mean when an ex ignores only some of your texts but then responds positively to others? And is it a good idea to go back into NC for about a week or two?
    Thanks so much!

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 16, 2015 at 3:01 am

      It probably means you aren’t being interesting enough to hold his attention in yoru conversations.

  5. Mandy

    October 12, 2015 at 4:47 pm

    I’m very impressed today. I did NC for 30…well 36 days. Sent “I have a confession to make”, got back “yeah…what’s that?” Sent a message that something I did with a friend reminded me of our first date blah blah….and no reply. I waited a week and sent a pic of my flat tire saying “I think I’m cursed” because our last time together was him helping me with a flat…. I got nothing in return. TWO WEEKS LATER… which is today…I text a positive memory that was also very funny and then asked” how are you?is everything working out positively for you? I hope so…”
    Secretly I don’t hope so because he let his ex wife back into his life and asked me to wait until he figured things out….well….I wasn’t going to wait around but I love the guy so…..HE ANSWERED and we talked a little bit. I ended it on a high note and though it feels like I want to just keep going I know I can’t. New plan is to wait two weeks and see about maybe meeting up in a casual way because he mentioned that he has called in “sick” and wondered what I was up to today….I didn’t meet up because I have to play it out….but I was beginning to doubt this system —I’m seeing it may have potential now. Very fascinating

  6. Dazo

    October 12, 2015 at 9:08 am

    Hi Chris,
    Well..I dated this guy for three months. He was nice and sweet. He called me beautiful and told me how much he loved me. I loved him too but for so many reasons I never wanted tosay it just yet. I was still getting to know him. Then I couldn’t resist him anymore. I finally told him what I felt. After sometime, one day he spoke to me in a manner I didn’t find appropriate in front of many people. Strangers to be precised. I found tat really rude and got so mad…I decided to cancel our date for that evening and go back home. I was so humiliated and blocked home from my contact. He didn’t reach out but on the fourth day I got his several missed calls. I unblocked him and talked to him. I was on my periods and had really bad moods. So our talk didn’t work out so well. Thenthree days later.he saw my whatsapp update. And he called to ask if all was well. I told him I wasn’t fine and he came over to my place. We had sex and I really regret that to this moment. This drifted us apart. He ignored me a better part after that. I was so mad and told him if that was all he wanted he would have just said it and even told him not talk to me ever again. And he just said it was fine.
    Some weeks later to this very day..I feel like I miss him do much. I feel like I really loved him. I want him back. I have used my friends to talk to him indirectly but his response is always rude. I have not stayed in contact for a while though in some cases we bumbed into each other. We would just say hi and that’s it. He didn’t send me a birthday message either. That’s how bad it is.
    I once texted him telling him that am sorry that even so things didn’t work out between us I would really love if we buried the hatchet and remain friends. He didn’t reply me back.
    Each day I cry hoping that he will text or call. He went completEly AWOL on me. I am scared of texting him at this moment. What if he doesn’t text back? What if he moved on already? It hurts me so much.
    The moments we shared about our dating time was when he was admitted at the hospital. I went to see him every day for close to two weeks. I liked it. I enjoyed his company. He looked week but happy with me around. I really love him. What more should I do. I have done everything mentioned in your forum but none seemed to work. Is there some chance still left?

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 13, 2015 at 12:13 am

      What have you done exactly.

      Give me the rundown.

  7. Sarah

    October 12, 2015 at 12:24 am

    Chris, I don’t know what to do. My ex boyfriend moved on with a girl that he met when we were together and when I confronted him about it 6 months after our breakup he said it’s because of losing trust in me over a misunderstanding we had when we were on a “break” in our relationship 3 months before we split for good. Chris, deep in my heart I don’t think he can have the relationship he had with this new girl that he had with me, but I’ve tried no contact, sending flirty texts, etc and he just gets confused and told me he’s sick of my “mind games”! Should I just be straight forward and tell him I still love him and I’m open to forgiveness and starting new? (he’s still with this girl, they’ve now been together for 7 months)

  8. Melissa

    October 11, 2015 at 4:26 am

    and what can i do if he blocked me after no contact?. Also, I couldn’t find your post about getting over your ex. best wishes!!!

  9. Lea

    October 10, 2015 at 2:11 am

    I’m not quite sure but I think I’m friendzoned. I did NC and after that things were quite good for a while but this week he doesn’t come online so often and I think he talks with me only because I always text fim first. Should I start NC of 30 days all over again? I’m very afraid that this time he will move on if I do that. Or should I not contact him for shorter period? Please Chris, respond to me, I’m becoming desperate.

    He was so in love with me, I was the prettiest and smartest girl he ever had and then I screwed up being clingy during his and mine tough period and he fell out of love. I would buy your book but I’m currently unemployed and in a very difficult position so if you could just answer me on this question- what should I do? I’ve read almost all of your articles including that about friendzone but I’m not sure if I should start new NC because I’ve already did one.

    He seems little depressed, after I moved out of his apartment he spent all month watching series and pretty much nothing else except going to work and he took some pictures with his pets (he did that just for me, not on Facebook) and he looks horrible, exhausted and sad. He seemed happy to hear from me and he seems happy now sometimes when we talk but he is not chasing me. I tried with texts “good memories” but that doesn’t work for him, he just changes the subject but I had some other mixed signals from him and I just don’t not if I should give up, start new NC or something else. Please, please, help me.

  10. niloo

    October 9, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    Hi i left soany comments none of them are even posted.any way didnt u explained all these 4 after nc text? Cuz i tried the intrestin or good memory text my ex wont answer me

  11. Kate

    October 8, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    A few weeks ago I wrote a very long comment and it was never posted (not sure how this works…). I have your book Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO which I’ve read all the way through and I’ve read every article on this website that applies to my situation, most several times. We had an extremely abrupt end to our relationship in a stupid fight, but then I was an extreme text gnat. I’m a few days away from the end of the 30 day NC period and he hasn’t contacted me at all. He keeps telling mutual friends to tell me to stop talking bad about one of his friends, but me and his friend don’t have a problem. I think he may have misunderstood but he has told a couple of our mutual friends to tell me to stop being rude. He seems angry (no direct contact though) so I’m afraid to text him at the end of the 30 day period. Twice after we broke up he said he wanted me back but that only lasted for a day. Should I extend the NC period? I really don’t want to mess up my chance and I don’t know if I should try to contact him since he’s angry. Thanks for your guides!

    1. Kate

      October 12, 2015 at 10:53 pm

      Is there a chance this will get responded to later on? I don’t want to make a mistake, but I understand if you can’t get to this since there are so many comments!

    2. Chris Seiter

      October 13, 2015 at 12:04 am

      Can you repost it for me?

  12. Tracy

    October 8, 2015 at 6:12 am

    Hi Chris, I am 24 and I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years about 2 weeks ago. He had relocated somewhere else for his studies and will only be back at the end of the year so this is sort of a short term LDR. We had 2 LDRs prior to this but both went okay.

    This time though, we’ve been having a lot of fights and arguments lately when one day he mentioned that the ‘distance was sobering’ and that he wanted out of the relationship because it was emotionally draining. He is a stubborn person and before reading your articles, I have been doing all the GNAT and ‘begging and crying’ which really hasn’t been solving anything and he has been extremely cold with his replies even when I try to start an interesting conversation with him. He also mentioned that it was ‘too late’ when I asked him to reconsider the relationship. I am really at a loss and I really don’t know if NC is going to work because of how stubborn he is.

    Do you think there is a way to get back together? I am extremely determined to have this work but seeing that he is such a stubborn person it seems to me that this is one-sided.

  13. Kate

    October 7, 2015 at 11:07 pm

    Hi!

    I finished the 30 day no contact and texted my ex. He didn’t try to talk to me at all during the no contact, so I used a variation of the “I have a confession to make.” Well I texted him and no response. Later I found out that he texted one of our mutual friends out of the blue after I texted him. He didn’t ask about me or say anything about me, but she thought it was weird. He send apparently a bunch of pictures. He seems to be avoiding me as well now because he is hardly on facebook (even though we are both big facebook users).
    My question to you is how long should I wait to try this tactic? And do you think this tactic will work in this situation?

  14. New Follower

    October 7, 2015 at 12:52 am

    I currently work with my ex. How would you go about doing no contact with someone you work with? We don’t talk or interact unless we have to, and when we do it’s kept brief. He broke up with me two weeks ago over a silly fight and has been extremely rude to me since. Right before he broke up with me I became a little frantic and was begging him to forgive me, but since we broke up I’ve been very nonchalant, seemingly unaffected by everything, from his point of view anyway.

    However, once we saw each other at work and he saw how I was reacting to everything, he went out with a girl who has tried to sleep with him before and that whom I dislike simply to upset me(he admitted it to a mutual friend), told me I was being crazy and that he hated me when I mailed him his stuff back, and just overall is being very stubborn and immature. Essentially he’s doing anything he can to get an emotion out of me without actually having to talk to me in person or over the phone(except for text). I also catch him looking at me all the time(particularly when I’m talking to other guys), he consistently flirts with the nearest girl when I walk by, and when I went out with a few friends after work one night, as soon as he walked in the next morning he went over to her and asked what we did. Friends have also remarked(and I have noticed) how constantly sad he looks, and he told a mutual friend that he would always care for me and was the most genuine person he’d ever met. About a week after we broke up I texted him saying that I was tired of feeling like he hated me and that I wanted to just be civil so we could hangout with mutual friends at the same time and reduce the awkwardness at work. His response was “fuck you.” I’m currently a week into NC with no contact from him, as expected. Do you think once he calms down that we’ll be able to mend things?

  15. Linn

    October 6, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    Hi Chris.
    My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We have lived together for 2,5 years now. He says he has “fallen out of love” and that something has changed in our relationship, but that he still loves me more than anything. I went to my parents for 3 days and when I got back he wanted us to get back together but it didn’t work out because he couldn’t shake the feeling of the breakup. Do you think I have ruined my chances because we got together too fast? I went through the phase where I cried and pleaded, then I pushed him away and then he came back to me, then we broke up again after a week.. After we broke up the last time we have had a friendly tone, but he keeps trying to hug me, as if he doesn’t know how to act around me now that we’re not together. Last night he started crying telling me how much he loved me and that he was scared, but that he just couldn’t try again in the state he’s in and that he needs to move out. He is now looking for a new appartment, and I wanted to know if my chances of getting him back dissapears if he moves out? I would imagine it would be difficult for him to admit he made a mistake if he has just gotten a new appartment? Please help me, I don’t know what to do.. I have read all of your articles but I haven’t found an article about a couple who lives together then moves to seperate appartment.
    I need your help. You are truly the only one who can help me now

  16. Jess

    October 6, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Hey Chris, I posted this under the deadly sins section but maybe itā€™s better to get a reply here under your new topicā€¦

    I have committed many many sins since my ex and I broke up. Huge text ngat, showed up at his house to try and talk several times, begged, told him I loved him, etc, etc. I do love him. I want to get him back, He has resisted my attempts however he has almost come around a few times. He getā€™s really angry when i show up at his house and says things like itā€™s over, there is no chance, at firstā€¦ but he will calm down and he always says one or two things that make me think there isā€¦. like I do like you but i hate when you do this, and i already regret this (when i was leaving and said you are going to regret this), and he will sometimes kiss me, always hugs meā€¦.sometimes i feel like when i leave he wants to give it another change but he is the ultimate stubborn guy (which he admitted). This has been going on for 5 1/2 months. And when we first met, i think he did see me as the ungettable girl, but since have been needy and gnattyā€¦.the last time i saw him was Labour Day weekend (when i showed up) ā€¦ he has not spoken to me sinceā€¦ I have been a text gnat sinceā€¦ he always does this, silence for a few weeks when heā€™s mad ā€“ i know this sounds ridiculous and childish, on both partsā€¦but I know for me itā€™s because i love him and i feel like he deep down he has feelings for me and is conflicted (he is going through a really hard time)ā€¦ I really want this man back, I just donā€™t know if no contact after this long will work ? I did try it once throughout this, got to day 27 and texted that i missed him. He texted me back the next day but then, I immediately went into letā€™s work this out, and then he went silent againā€¦. do you think I still have a shot at all or should I just give up? I donā€™t know how to get through to himā€¦.we broke up over a few silly not important argumentsā€¦ I donā€™t know if he is making excuses at this point or if there is still a chanceā€¦.. HELP
    Also when I left on Labour Day, I said goodbye then, take care, and he got mad and said why do you always have to say things like that and leave things negativeā€¦. I flat out asked him if it was over and he said -Iā€™m not talking about this right nowā€ and when I told him why I was upset with him during the relationship, it was like he was trying to tell me that he wanted the same things I did it was just bad timingā€¦he also is using how much he is working as an excuse (54 hour weeks/ 6 days a week) and when i went to leave he also said, i wonā€™t be working these hours forever ā€“ soooooooo confused šŸ™ ā€“ Do you think I still have chance and if you do, what should my gameplan be, will no contact be effective at this point? Part of me thinks yes because I havenā€™t really given him a chance to really miss me and really think heā€™s lost meā€¦I have read all of your articles over and overā€¦ I need you Chris!!!

  17. Rebecca

    October 6, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    I’ve been reading Ex Boyfriend Recovery since before I started NC. I’ve signed up for, read, etc. all the information I can get my hands on. But sadly none of it has worked so far. I have completed NC, but what worried me was when I read through everything he fit into the “clueless” guy category and I feared this may not work on him. He, himself, wanted to stop talking to me (aka No Contact) but he couldn’t do it until I did it. He blocked out of every way of his life or anyway he could think of and then after the no contact, I contacted him the only way I knew how and I got “no response.” I made sure it was interesting, that it caught his attention and that he should have responded to. This has been extremely difficult and hard to predict even with using all of the information I was given. I’m unsure where to even go from here as all of my options seem to be gone without me doing anything wrong. (However, I did wrong before I read all of this but since then I have followed everything to the T.) I just feel like nothing has been going my way no matter what I try. I feel like giving up would be the best option since he seems to fit the not normal standards of guys on here. The 1% that don’t normally happen. My stories pretty long so I won’t post it all here. But I am really unsure what to do at this point.

  18. april joy

    October 6, 2015 at 8:54 am

    I really need advice. I only saw my ex for an hour (that was last April) since over a year ago. We had a long distance relationship. We didn’t have any communication due to his police training since May 2015. Suddenly, 3 days ago, he texted me that its over and that he can’t feel any love for me anymore. I admit I begged, and said I love and miss him. We’ve been together for almost five years. He denies third party. Is it still possible to get him back? I really love him. Could NC still work in my situation?

  19. Cherie

    October 6, 2015 at 3:59 am

    I’ve been reading the posts on here for a while now, even before I needed the help. I always thought it was amazing how many women it’s helped, especially with such (seemingly) simple tactics! I know you’re supposed to send a voice mail, but I wouldn’t be able to gather my thoughts clearly enough to leave a message that way; this is my last cry for help on the subject. Dramatic, I know… but it’s the truth. I’ll try to be as short as possible:

    My ex and I broke up 5-6 years ago. I was the one who did the deed, and it was very cruelly. We were 19 at the time and had been dating four years. There was no lost love, I simply couldn’t handle the issues that came with our relationship; but I also couldn’t bring myself to leave him without a crutch, so I latched onto someone else and left. We still kept in contact for a while, but then ended it after maybe a year.

    Recently, maybe a couple of months ago, he contacted me again. I didn’t get my hopes up, I didn’t want to expect anything, though I was clearly hoping for reconciliation and some kind of friendship no matter how slight. It was fine for a while, good enough that we decided to meet up. By the end of it he’d cried, kissed my hand, and told me he wanted me to take him from her (I forgot to mention he started dating a friend of mine not long after we broke up, they’re still together). I didn’t acknowledge that, I couldn’t, I didn’t know what was going on in their relationship and assumed he was just reaching out for comfort and our memories. I felt like I was right, since not long after that he pushed back hard and we simply chatted/played games for a good while. Then he started up again, telling me he missed me, my touch etc. I took a dive and expressed my feelings… nothing was returned, not directly.

    Finally, today, I called him on it; I told him how I felt and that he needed to stop saying things like that to me if he didn’t mean them. He told me there was too much going on in his life right then to think about it; that right now I wasn’t even anything much. That I was a friend now, and that was it until we met up again. I said alright to that… then not even a half hour later he began diving in on his sex drive (he and his current aren’t very intimate he says, along with multiple other minor issues he’s expressed), how easily he could attract this girl he works with, and how he got her number on facebook. After that I told him he either still really hated me, or felt something very spiteful towards me. (“That’s not true. I’ll stop bringing it up.”) I told him that when we were together, before I ended it, I put heart and soul into making him happy, and that I know he remembers it. I told him that hadn’t changed, but I wouldn’t give anything to someone who considers me nothing. That when he figures himself out and decides on what he wants, when he stops looking at me the way he looks at all these other girls, I’d be the best damn friend he’s ever had.

    He got angry with me then: Okay. That’s fine. You just want friendship.
    “I want more than that, you don’t.”
    He: Of course not. I told you a long time ago I wouldn’t do anything stupid.
    “But you have been. Never mind, it doesn’t matter, I said what I had to say.”
    He: No it doesn’t matter
    “Why are you angry?”
    He: Because it’s 11:30 and we’re still on this shit.
    “Okay. I’ll see you later then I hope.”
    He: Whatever. I’m here when you want to talk.

    I thought I understood what he was feeling, but after he started talking about another girl… almost as soon as I expressed my feelings, I just couldn’t believe he was doing anything more than stringing me along for his own ego or something similar. I still want to be with him, very, very much. So I thought I’d start today with your no contact rule, and I won’t have a problem with it after tonight. I won’t make myself someone’s puppet… but am I right about that? Or do I have a chance with him?

    Well…. that was much longer than I meant it to be. Still… I know you’re very busy, so I won’t hold my breath for a reply, but I’d certainly love one if you have the time. Either way, thank you for this site. Even if there are things you know in your head, it helps to read/hear them from someone else.

  20. Sarah

    October 6, 2015 at 1:42 am

    we broke up over text with him telling me to please stop contacting him as we don’t get along and there’s no point dragging things out further. A few more back and forths then he said he was sorry to be so tough on me but I never miss being tough on him and he wouldn’t reply further or read or listen to any of my messages. I’m now almost week3 of NC. It seems hopeless. After buying your system I’ve done NC on him before and we got back in contact . But he’s having a lot of issues in his life and is not good about contacting or seeing me. Which is constantly an issue for me and causes lots of fights. I should add that more often than not when I see him we don’t have sex so that’s not why he sees me when he does. I’m currently working on a 45 day NC and will decide whether to contact him when I get to the end of it. Last NC I did I got to 5 weeks before contacting him. Didn’t hear from him at all that whole time, but got an immediate and positive response when I contacted him. Maybe I should just give up.

    1. Sarah

      October 11, 2015 at 12:58 am

      I’m just really apprehensive about contacting someone who told me not to and who said he won’t respond or even read my messages. Is it hopeless? Is 45 days NC the right move?

    2. Chris Seiter

      October 6, 2015 at 3:53 am

      I wouldn’t give up just yet.

      Leave no stone unturned and then you can give up.

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