What Makes An Ex Boyfriend Change His Mind About The Breakup?

902 thoughts on “What Makes An Ex Boyfriend Change His Mind About The Breakup?”

Emma

July 14, 2014 at 12:14 am

That was a great post Chris! Oookay… This article I think struck me harder than your other post.. Why? Because it’s been 6 months since bf have left for someone that he meet while traveling for work.. He has kept in touch with me declaring a couple of months ago that he is still on over me and he misses us.. I’m not one for games-too old to play em! 🙂 I thought we had it great.. We were buliding and planning our life together.. I went thru the check list of “bad feelings” and i don’t know how to answer that.. I am not one for fighting.. Clingy is don’t think so.. When he was on tour support him and took care of his parents (they lived 15 min from us) .. I was sick with a cancer scare that I had to have 2 surgery ( I’m good today yay! ) so I was sick post surgery for a year.. I tried to be strong everyday and happy..some days I was feeling tired..but I was always happy to be with him!! I love him! He was holding my hand as we were driving day before he broke up with me.. I don’t know any more..we are in 35 days of nc.. The last I told him (text) that he is a missing piece out of my life as a lover and best friend and it’s hard getting over him..35 days ago I sent this..I ve bang my head on the wall for too long! You are right it’s his choice.. I don’t know know what else to do .. I’m 44 he is 39. His gf is 25.. I can’t compete with her!

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:28 pm

You can compete with her because most likely she isn’t as mature as you… Eventually that will wear on him.
Emma

July 16, 2014 at 2:17 am

I hope so! 🙂 But he isn’t making leaps and bounds to be with me.. Heart-wrenching .. Here I am heart full of love for him and my arms empty… Darn him! 🙂
admin

July 16, 2014 at 2:58 pm

Your arms are empty now… But change is inevitable and even if things don’t work out with him someone else twice as good would be happy to occupy your arms.

mima

July 13, 2014 at 10:01 pm

Well I wrote you a few times I know you are very busy but my ex which we would have been together for 2 months today well I spazzed badly on him on may 24th and a few weeks later like 4 weeks he said he just isnt willin to keep going in circles with me and said happy bday to me a few days before that and when I spazzed he blocked me on his phone I think im still blocked from his phone but he texts me from his pinger well today we kinda talked a bit and he told me he likes being with me but when were not together im kinda annoyig which I know I would get upset easily idk insecurities but today I asked if he would come see me andd he said yea we could be cool but nothing more than that we were good before knew one another since 2012 been talkin on and off we lived close in ny but I moved to ga and he still wanted me through the distance but I didnt want to we spent time wit one another last year and early this year he asked me to be with him again in may and we finally did the distance but he told me today i pushed him away I feel like there is no hope he stopped talking to me again im not sure if he is talkin from hurt or means it but I did support him and wanna give him whatever to make him happy I truly care about him

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:27 pm

So you are now long distance?
mima

July 14, 2014 at 6:58 pm

Yes but no longer together we talked yesterday via text and he told me we can be cool but anything more he isnt interested like idk what to thinj or feel I textd him again and he didnt respond idk of he really done or not he was textin me and sayin sorry wrong person he has done that 3 times never done that before but now im hurt because I feel he is gone but my mama thinks he will be back but hes in ny and im in ga is there even a shot anymore ? Any and all advice will help and I appreciate u all.
admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:01 pm

Wait, are you saying he fake texts you on purpose and blames it on the fact that he meant it for someone else?
mima

July 16, 2014 at 8:56 pm

Yes he just started that kinda hee did it 3 times but havent heard from jim in awhile he told me we can be cool but as far as anything else he isnt interested idk what to feel but deep down I feel its just a phase and he will be back idk I was willin to move back just because he wants to move down south but doesn’t wanna leave his son which is understandable… lol sorry but any advice will truly work cause its hard I try not to think about him I just want him to comeback and us to work this out…
mima

July 19, 2014 at 8:33 pm

I need any help right now the broke up happened in late may and now im fully tryin to do the no contact and he is being cruel kinda he told me also that he did like being with me but I got annoying when we weren’t together and he will come visit to chill but as far as anything else he said he isnt interested, isnt that self explanatory? I really want him back so bad but I feel I lost that opportunity
mima

July 23, 2014 at 12:14 pm

Alright I guess I should leave it alone

stage5clinger

July 13, 2014 at 9:01 pm

You should write an entire article on how to get your ex back if you were clingy. I never disrespected or cheated, I was just waaaay to clingy. Extremely embarrassed of how clingy I was. 1 month of NC was not enough for me. After going 3 months NC I am ready to text him again, but I feel like I got a lot to prove now.

– Do I got a shot if he is happier single than he was with me?

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:26 pm

Oh that is GREAT! I am going to write that one next.
Taryn

July 15, 2014 at 3:37 am

Yay! I need an article like that too. I was the needy/clingy girl. But not all the time. But I’d say I was needy enough lol…
I'm in limbo... :(

July 18, 2014 at 11:29 am

Taryn! do you mind if I take your email so we can chat? I’ve found your advice to be helpful and I’m not finding a lot of help elsewhere… 🙁 cheers!
Taryn

July 18, 2014 at 7:35 pm

Yeah that’s fine :]

Chris’s advice and new article coming up will help us both Hehe!

it’s [email protected]

Or

[email protected]
admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:21 pm

Working on it today Taryn! Hopefully done by the end of this week.
Taryn

July 15, 2014 at 7:32 pm

Awesome! Can’t wait to read it :]
stage5clinger

July 14, 2014 at 6:53 pm

THANK YOU!!!! YOU ARE THE MAN CHRIS!

shaden

July 13, 2014 at 3:58 pm

hi chris ! first and foremost id like to thank you for this amazing site . it made me think and have so many insights regarding the hall “ex boyfriend” thing .
I wanted to ask you a question , even though I don’t know how relevant it is – the hall post that you wrote actually describes me .. the way I feel , my fears and why logically I don’t want and im afraid to get into a relationship once again with my ex . Im sure he feels the same way too . but the thing is that somewhere deep down I still have feelings towards the guy – Im still attracted to him and I wish things could have gone better between us two. I feel confused and un balanced , It feels like we missed each other over stupid things . he really was what I wanted . I just met him at a wrong point in my life that led to fights and eventually a breakup.. we cared about each other and we really liked one another .. it was a 4 months old relationship when in total I knew him for something like 8 months . we broke up a month ago .
so actually my question for you Chris goes like that – how can I work things out with him when im also afraid from being disappointed , I mean .. how can I be the considered girlfriend when I feel the same way like him – still with some feelings but at the same time confused emotionally exhausted and afraid thinking it dose not worth the effort?

thanks in advance !

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:21 pm

Well, I suppose you have to ask yourself if you feel he is worth it or not. If you determine he is then do everything you can to try to get him back. That way, win or lose you can feel proud of the effort you put in.

Kuulei

July 13, 2014 at 2:37 pm

Great article!
My ex and I have been broken up for almost two years. We have established contact over the past year…exchanged gifts, complimented me on my appearance, greets me with hugs and kisses, and he has said he’s proud of me and respects the work I’ve been doing.
When we were together he would say that I was the best overall package in a girlfriend he ever had – smart, attractive, sexy, socially adept… But after over four years together he left me. I became needy, manipulative,jealous and unappreciative. We started fighting and he caught me snooping in his drawers. He befriended his ex and started seeing her again.
After these last few months I feel when we see each other that there is a chance to rekindle our relationship. Encounters go good for a while but then we get into disputes over various things…and I feel I lose ground again.
How can I use this article in my current situation?
Thanks much Chris!

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:15 pm

Is he with his ex???
Kuulei

July 19, 2014 at 9:47 pm

Yes.
Is my situation a lost cause?
admin

July 21, 2014 at 4:03 pm

I wouldn’t say that.

I would just say its more difficult.

Aliana

July 13, 2014 at 10:30 am

Hi Chris! Please, please answer me, Im desperate and don’t know what else to do.
My ex broke up with me over 1 year ago because of LDR-problems, but soon after the break up he had several girlfriends and ONS. While we have been together he was a big flirt too, but I dont know if he cheated on me. We tried to be friends, but for me it didn’t work, so I started to read all your articles and did nc for over 2 months. But it didn’t work- I still miss him like crazy and can’t let him go.I contacted him after those 2 months, he didn’t reply (I guess he is angry, because I didn’t answer him for 2 months, he tried to talk to me 3 times during nc).

Then I saw that he is talking to a woman again, where we had serious arguements about and agreed, that he won’t talk to her anymore. But he didn’t keep his promise.

Do you see anychance or should I delete him completely out my life? Im feeling horrible and have no idea what to do anymore.

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:11 pm

What makes you think he cheated?
Aliana

July 14, 2014 at 7:01 pm

Well, it was a LDR and he made lots of new female friends during this time,, he went out a lot and was flirting via social media (He doessn’t know that I know), one of those girls contacted me and told me. But I don’t know if more than that happened.

After the break up we had a long talk and he said he feels sorry and he blocked all those girls and seemed to be very nice again. But now it is all the same. Dont you think it is completely unrespectful to me?
admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:02 pm

He specifically went out on dates with the girls?
Aliana

July 15, 2014 at 9:12 pm

Hard to tell as he would never tell me about it… Mostly he went out with a group of people or his best male friend. I don’t know about real dates for sure, but his Facebook and Twitter was flooded with likes, comments and (party-)photos.

But the biggest problem for me is, that I made it very clear, that he should cut contact to a special girl (He knows that she was or is interested in him), this drama (lots of discussions, jealousy etc.) made me feel very upset earlier, but he seemed to understand me and blocked her everywhere. But now they talk again. For me it seems like he wouldn’t care about my feelings at all?
admin

July 16, 2014 at 2:55 pm

Ya, a good man would have shut that girl down immediately.
Aliana

July 17, 2014 at 8:05 pm

That’s what I thought… Well, thanks a lot Chris. Your articles really helped me, not to get him back, but to see a bit more clear. Since we broke up he had a few new girlfriends, but always contacted me and other exes and female friends again to flirt or get attention. Maybe that is all what he wants, attention. It is still breaking my heart to see that he doesn’t care at all anymore, but maybe never did in the first place…
admin

July 18, 2014 at 4:00 pm

Well, I am so glad that you got something out of the articles!!!
Aliana

July 17, 2014 at 8:26 pm

And: I think he is quite manipulative. After he broke up with another girl he told me how great our relationship was and that he wants me back etc., then I saw that he was flirting with a lot of other girls at the same time and I started nc. After I didn’t reply to his messages he got angry or annoyed or whatever pretty quick and now he is ignoring my first message after nc. He already moved on to the next girl, but is still flirting around (not with me anymore).
admin

July 18, 2014 at 4:00 pm

Manipulative… maybe.

Self serving…. definitely.

Lacy

July 13, 2014 at 10:13 am

So I did plenty of reading through almost every topic you’ve written that I felt necessary in getting my boyfriend back, but somehow I feel like he just hates me too much to change his mind about wanting me back.

On the day he dumped me, which was about 5 days ago, he tweeted “It’s finally come to an end.”

I only just saw this today… I started NC about 3 days ago, and I was doing so well and I even built a little confidence… but then when I saw the tweet it reminded me of how hard things were for us. I feel like he was waiting for me to F**k up so that the break would be easier for him to pull off.

Does he hate me too much now because of what I have done and what we had been going through before I seriously F**ked up? Do I even stand a chance…?

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:09 pm

What makes you think he hates you specifically?

Jenny

July 13, 2014 at 5:43 am

How should we proceed if we are still in the NC but about to be in the attraction building stage and we are moving away soon across the country???

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Maybe shorten the NC and start buildring attraction asap.

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902 thoughts on “What Makes An Ex Boyfriend Change His Mind About The Breakup?”