What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Kiran

October 24, 2016 at 4:40 am

I had a good relationship but then he started ignoring me now fighting for which just went thrs the NC period from 45 days now it took say 60 days he contacted me by now asked me to the him by in my life …but his fights not abuse were so tuff for me to forget if ever I asked him go he did he fights …I took him by but the distance is still there I might scared to go cos not love him lk before from I came out with get difficulties out of the pain but now I feel again he is not wanting me he talk s to me now says he cares etc but don’t text me often lk before only answer if I text what sold I do

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 7:59 pm

Hi kiran,

did you mean you already did 60 days of no contact? You went back together but you’re still in a long distance relationship? and now he’s ignoring you again? How long were together? How old are you both and why did you break up?

Jennifer

October 23, 2016 at 9:24 pm

My boyfriend of 6 months (2 months together + 4 months long distance) broke up with me in the beginning of September (a month ago) on good terms, no cheating etc. I recently started the no contact in the beginning of October in hopes of being able to reset the relationship. Nov 3 would mark 30 days of no contact, i’m just nervous because he moved on quickly from his last relationship (he was only 4 months between me and his has ex, although I don’t know the circumstances on his relationship with her), and don’t want him to do the same with me. Should I cut no contact to 21 days vs 30. He hasn’t tried to contact me at all during the no contact period, he is a pretty stubborn man after all so that expected.

Jennifer

October 26, 2016 at 12:56 am

I’ve been trying to improve my self confidence which is most likely the reason he dumped me (although that is not what he said). I became very clingy in the relationship and I was the one to approach him first so I have always been the one to peruse. I am hoping that in the 30 days he will come to pursue me. I have been focusing on school, and have been active on social media (facebook, and snapchat), taking pics with friends, and going out. I see him around campus, but I keep strict with the no contact , only acknowledging him by nodding, and smiling so he knows I’m thriving since the break up. I’m trying to show i’m independent and strong. Someone he wants to be with.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 2:29 pm

Hi Jennifer,

nope.. if you’re worried that you’re the rebound, then the more reason you should finish 30 days.. have you been active in improving yourself?

Sarah

October 22, 2016 at 2:20 pm

Hi!
He broke up with me 4 weeks ago in message. I became so desperate..I made the common mistakes. Soon after the break up we met accidentally in the street. He said that he still has feelings for me, but he met with someone ( I think she is a rebound) and he thinks that I’m not the girl he wants but he seemed to be so confused. After that we hugged each other, he was really nice..he said he needs 2 months without contact. I think that’s a lot of time what if he moves on? What should I do? wait untill he contacts me?

Sarah

October 28, 2016 at 7:49 am

The 30 days of NC are almost over. We met accidentally in a party yesterday and he avoided any eyecontact and pretended that I’m not there. Maybe the 2 months thing isn’t real, maybe he was just to coward to tell me that is over. I still want him back. His behaviour made me so desperate. what should I do? let him go and move on or talk to him?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 29, 2016 at 1:39 am

The decision of moving on or trying is yours. If you still want to try, initiate contact..
Sarah

October 23, 2016 at 6:18 pm

Thanks for the answer. 🙂
I’m doing the NC, it’s the third week.I’ve started to improve myself and have fun with my friends and I feel myself better but I still want him back. We have been together for a year. we broke up in June and then in September we got back together and we went on a vacation to make things right (everything was ok). he started to have this unstable behaviour soon after the vacation.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 23, 2016 at 5:05 pm

Hi Sarah,

nope..dont just wait..she can be a rebound or a grass is greener case but either way, it would be better to start the count for the no contact rule.. yes, he doesnt want to talk to you for two months but he probably doesnt expect you to move on and improve yourself…so do that during no contact..how long were you together?

Ann

October 21, 2016 at 7:11 am

Hi,
My BF broke up with me 4 months ago. Because we were on again/off again, I did about 7 weeks of NC. Towards the end of that period I caught him driving by my house, but he never contacted me. After NC I tried first contact text messages but didn’t really get anywhere. About 5 weeks ago I saw him sitting outside a coffee shop and when he saw me coming (he thought I hadn’t spotted him yet) he literally ran away and hid inside a nearby shop until I had gone by. I texted him to let him know I had seen that and to ask why he couldn’t even bring himself to say hello to me, and he replied that he has been going through a rough time, that as hard as it is for him not to talk to me it’s better for his life, and that he can’t have any contact with me because it “pulls at too many heart strings.” I did another 4 weeks of NC and then last week reached out with a friendly text, but again got no response. Should I give up? Even after 4 months of trying to take care of myself during NC I still miss him tremendously and want to see if we can works things out. Thanks so much.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 7:41 pm

Hi Ann,

yes, you should move on..

Alle

October 19, 2016 at 7:16 pm

I’m 33 days into a 45 day no contact rule, but im having trouble getting past feelings of hopelessness and like it can never work.

I was involved with a guy long distance, but things were really bad between us for a really long time.

We spoke a lot and were quite sexual with each other, but he kept refusing to call it a real relationship and i found him really distant.

We fought for 2 years, and pretty much all our fights were in some way about me wanting more than he did and him feeling pressured into it. As we fought he lost more and more interest and became more and more resentful. He often ended up very angry and frustrated…. he would yell at me but then always continued to talk to me anyway. No matter how mad he got we would always end up all flirty again.

However the fighting got to the point where he started refusing to see me in person… he said he associates me with drama and thinks us meeting will cause more drama. I haven’t seen him in person in months.

I finally initiated a 45 day no contact when, after a few weeks of refusing to see me and 2 years of fighting, he told me he “is starting to hate me” “doesn’t care anymore”, that i “never had him coz we were never really together”, that I “overestimate the level of intimacy between us”, that I make him really really angry and he is never going to see me again. This is the same guy who used to tell me any man would be stupid not to date me.

He did however also say that he has tried to make me feel cared for and feels it didn’t work… that surprised me.

I have muted our conversation on Facebook where we usually talk and haven’t checked if he has messaged me for 33 days.
In the past when i did this for a few days he would message me through other means and ask why I was ignoring him…. but not this time. But I went on a long trip and tried not to worry about it too much.

It will be time to contact him soon and im kind of dreading it. Our situation was so messy and toxic and went on for so long and I was so needy by the end of it that I just can’t get rid of the thought that there is no way he can ever be interested again. How do I get rid of that thought? I know it can sabotage my chances but it just won’t go away… How can I possibly have a chance when things were so bad for so long ? I feel panicky when I think of contacting him and don’t know how to relax about it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 21, 2016 at 3:49 pm

hi Alle,

are you improving yourself?
you should check this one:
EBR 060: “Dating Yourself” During No Contact With Veronica Grant

Aki

October 19, 2016 at 3:25 pm

Hi. my ex boyfriend broke up with me for the second time and i am now doing the 30 day NC. He broke up with me for the same reason. ( distance and he is not ready for a serious relationship ) he said he loves me but he must move forward. he is 21 years old and I am 27. I’m almost halfway done with the NC and he hasn’t contacted me yet. I’m wondering if there’s still a chance that he would want to get back with me even if he told me that he is not ready for a serious relationship? i am his first almost “serious” relationship. We’ve been together ( physically ) for 5 months and 4 months long distance relationship. Thanks in advance for the response

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 21, 2016 at 1:13 pm

Hi Aki,

why? how much do you see each other in a month?

Marie Ann

October 17, 2016 at 12:06 pm

Hi Chris

Its been 20 days and we have actually entered the breaking up phase the 6/7th time.
In this process was my birthday in which he did not make a point to wish me.
On loggin into his facebook profile he seems to have developed an interest into a new chick and
making solo travel plans.

What can i honestly expect?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 5:00 pm

Hi Marie Ann,

what did you meam that you are 20 days in? 20 days after the break up? because if it’s no contact, you have to restart the count.. it’s not allowed to like his posts during this, so logging into his account and checking it is not allowed too..

Angel

October 15, 2016 at 10:40 pm

He contacted me half way through I replied but not how I usually would..he replied then I messaged bk..then I got no reply bk??! anyway it’s now day 33..not heard anything since..I’m confused

Angel

October 18, 2016 at 6:36 pm

Update..he turned up at my house yesterday..just to show me something..i didn’t chat long said I had to go as I was busy…I used to chase or make effort but not anymore!
Angel

October 16, 2016 at 9:13 pm

I don’t understand why someone who isn’t interested would wait two weeks to then ignore again..if they really don’t care why would someone waste their time just to see if u reply!
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 12:07 pm

sometimes to know if you’re still interested.. if you’re still the same as before.. if you were always the one chasing before, it could be to check if you would still answer whenever he initiates
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 9:03 pm

I understand.. but you still replied.. So, that means you have to restart the count a day after that reply.. You heard nothing because it really looks like it was just a test to see if you would reply..

Aarie

October 15, 2016 at 4:19 pm

Hi Amor,

I am about half way done with my NC. I am doing the 30 day one, but am even considering the 45 day one to see if I really want my ex back.

I do have a question. Recently, my ex sent me a message saying how he hoped I was happy and was able to find someone to truly make me happy. Then he went on to say how he never wanted this and how he was sorry things had to happen this way.

I was the one to break up with him btw. I broke up with him because I felt like he was cheating on me. Not to mention I also felt like he wasn’t ready to grow up. So it was just a collection of things that had been building and when I thought he had been cheating on me, that’s when I called it quits. I got tired of trying to “motivate” him in life.

It kind of felt like a guilt card he was trying to play with me. We were living together, and I kicked him out essentially.

What should I do in this situation? Should I just continue with the NC or is this a baby crying for attention metaphorically speaking?

Aarie

October 23, 2016 at 10:08 pm

ok Amor,

Once the NC period is over, in my case should I contact him or should I wait for him to contact me as a means of that he’s changed? I don’t want to contact him and then make myself seem as though I am chasing him after I initiated the NC rule so he could essentially grow up. He’s either changed or I walk away is correct, but how would I implement this after the NC rule is over?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 2:34 pm

oh.. I thought you’re moving on.. pretty much give yourself a timeline on until when you would wait.. if you don’t see that he has really changed, then move on
Aarie

October 20, 2016 at 8:43 pm

You are correct.

So what should I do?

Should I do anything different?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 3:41 pm

Nope, you just have to remind yourself on what your standards are and that you cant force people to change.. That’s why you did the right thing.. because it’s either he change or you walk away
Aarie

October 17, 2016 at 8:04 pm

I’m 22, and he is 30.

He hasn’t contacted me since then.

He still has my number, but decided to contact me via a fb message saying how he’s sorry things turned out the way they did and it wasn’t what he wanted. Then he went on to say how he hoped I had a happy life and found someone to make me happy as he was struggling himself financially and that he was trying to get his life together.

Of course I didn’t respond because it sounded downright pitiful and sappy. Like a child crying for attention essentially.

What would you do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 10:24 am

I wouldn’t respond too! He has to stand up on his own
Aarie

October 16, 2016 at 7:03 pm

I’m 22, and he is 30.

He hasn’t contacted me since then.

He still has my number, but decided to contact me via a fb message saying how he’s sorry things turned out the way they did and it wasn’t what he wanted. Then he went on to say how he hoped I had a happy life and found someone to make me happy as he was struggling himself financially and that he was trying to get his life together.

Of course I didn’t respond because it sounded downright pitiful and sappy. Like a child crying for attention essentially.

What would you do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 6:26 pm

Hi Aarie,

You’re not his mom.. If he’s crying for attention and he’s way of getting it is being lazy, I think you did the right choice of breaking up with him.. How old are you both?

Christina

October 10, 2016 at 11:04 pm

Hi,

Thank you in advance for the advise. My boyfriend broke up with me 1.5 months ago, I did NC for 1 month (it just ended). Yesterday I bumped into him with some mutual friends and I had to say hi to him. He ran away and acted a little hostile after I said hello and I was acting super happy and excited to see my friends (also I was with another guy he doesn’t know). He completely ignored me during the event however his friends told me he was really awkward and tense. Afterwards, I found out he asked two of our mutual friends about me, out of curiosity I think. It’s not the first time I hear he asks about me however he won’t ask me himself, just through friends in common. So… do you think NC worked even though he hasn’t messaged me? I don’t even know if it’s worth it to make the first step if he was the one to break up with me in the first place, he just gave up. I’m unsure because I still have feelings for him. Any insight?

Christina

October 13, 2016 at 5:36 pm

He told me he lost interest in getting to know me because I was too aloof, or disconnected from the relationship. This is because I have my own personal issues with commitment and serious relationships, I told him that but he was too tired of waiting for me to open up. At the end I tried to do it but it was kind of too late and after that I started NC. I didn’t beg per se but I did cry and got things off my chest.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2016 at 8:51 pm

If you’re schoolmates or there’s another chance of you bumping into him, guage it.. check if he has a different reaction.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 4:08 pm

Hi Christina,

looks like he’s shy with you.. why did you break up?

Vanshiika

October 9, 2016 at 9:02 am

I am in quite a difficult situation and no one else is able to help me because they do not know what to do. My close friend and my Ex boyfriend are now closer than ever after he dumped me two months ago after 12 months together. I’ve been chasing after him for two months after break up and he lost his interest and love for me because I was super annoying and causing drama for him. i just heard that he asked my close friend to the movies yesterday and I am very upset. Its been 2 months (60 days) and I was wondering if there is even a chance of getting him back? Should I still proceed with the 30 days NC rule?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2016 at 2:57 pm

Hi,

There’s less chance because right now, either they’re in the honeymoon period or about to enter it and you have chased him.. So, you need to do at least 45 days and just really focus in healing and improving yourself.. and check the video below too on how to approach him after the no contact when he has a girlfriend.

What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

Violet

October 8, 2016 at 2:04 pm

I think my first message didn’t paste. I need some advice, my boyfriend and I were together for almost five years. The last year of our relationship changed when his mom passed away. It felt like since his moms passing we started to be more distant, we would barely have sex, like one a month or every two to three months. It got to a point it felt like we were just room mates but for the most part I felt like we still had fun together. In the middle of July I notice he was acting different and started talking about moving out of my house to move into a friends house. I didn’t pay much attention but then there were a few nights when he didn’t come home till late or he said he was running errands late at night. I went through his phone one morning and saw he had saved photos of a girl. When I asked him about it he said it was some girl that was flirting with him but I called him out said this was more than friends since one photo had this girl in the bath tub showing her legs. He said he wasn’t happy and he didn’t like pets and living with me and my family was a mistake. He said he never physically cheated on me with this girl. We broke up July 16 ( that morning) and I was devastated. I also need to mention a few months before this happened I was talking to a guy friend and we exchanged photos (sexting ) and since then I’ve felt guilty and wasn’t sure how to tell my then boyfriend. But then all of this happened and we are not together ( and no my ex does not know about my friend and I sexting). I made a promise I would do the 30 day NC but after a full month of NC I didn’t feel ready to talk to him. I wanted and needed more time. About two weeks ago my ex sent me a package containing a journal with his writing inside. The letter contained how sorry he was and how his soul aches every day with the pain he caused me and how everything I did for him was out of love and everything he did was for his own selfish reasons. In the letter he also says he still can’t understand how he could betray and deceit someone he cared and loved. He also wrote that he hopes my family and I (including my pets) are doing well. He also through in a memory from when we were together and said how he laughed all day when thinking of that memory. I’m not sure how to take this journal, apart of me feels there is still something there and apart of me feels this is his way to move past what he did. I texted him thanking him for the journal and his kind words and him making this effort shows how kind and loving of a man he is., I also threw in an inside joke that we knew. I told him I’d always be here for him and that I was also going great. He responded saying he was glad to hear I was well and that he was well and that my joke made him laugh. He also said he is always there for me and to give a back scratch to my pets for him and to tell them it’s from him. Both of our texts had smiley faces and a couple days after that text I sent him another text reminding him of a memory we shared. He replied saying that memory made him smile and that I made his night that night of the memory because I made his night more bearable. Again both of our texts he smiley faces and I feel we both responded in a positive way. But he also took a few hours to reply and he didn’t leave the text open for conversation, I ended by saying that was a good night we spent together and I was heading out to meet up with friends. I’m worried that he has either moved on or feels he can move on now since we are on good terms. I still love him and want him back. How often should I text him? Does it matter if he takes awhile to text me back? Im pretty sure he is either seeing or in a relationship with the girl I found on his phone. Im pretty sure this is gigs. I just don’t know how forward I should be and how often I should text him. Should I also be worried if he doesn’t text me first?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 9, 2016 at 4:20 pm

Hi,

if he’s in a relationship, it’s just normal that he would take time to reply or reply less.. dont use a memory text again.. use a more natural topic.. text him again, after 3-5 days.. and then continue being active with yourself.. that if he sees your posts and compares you to the new girl, he would see you’re better.

Lola

October 7, 2016 at 12:03 am

Hi,
I really need some advice, I’ve read your articles from your site and have followed your advise on NC. But I’m not sure what to do at this point. When my ex and I were together (almost 5 years) his mom passed away, since her passing our relationship has not been the same. Almost no sex and at times get like we were just roommates. We both knew we weren’t communicating with each other but still didn’t say anything about our relationship. In the middle of July I notice he was acting different, he was planning on moving out of my house to live with a friend and then I found some photos of another girl in his phone. I asked what was going on and he said he wasn’t happy and it was just someone flirting with him. Long story short we broke up and started the NC rule, after 30 days of NC he never reached out to me but I didn’t feel ready to reach out to him since I did the same thing as him ( talked to another guy on my phone and had a couple photos). I felt that I needed more time for my emotions and to better myself. Last week I received a package from him containing a journal with his handwriting inside, it said how sorry he was and he couldn’t understand how he could betray and deceive someone he loved and cared for. He even threw in some inside jokes and said he hoped I was doing well and that I don’t even want to hear from him. I was confused with his letter because apart of me feels he still loves me but another part of me feels he is writing this letter so he can move on from his guilt. I texted him thanking him for the journal and told him he was a loving caring man and that I am always here for him. He replied saying he is happy that I’m doing well and that he is always there for me. Both of our texts had smiley faces, not sure if that matters. I texted him again a couple days latter reminding him of a memory we shared and he responded laughing saying it was a good memory and how I made his night during that memory. I replied laughing as well and ended it saying I was meeting up with friends and left it at that. I’m worried that I’ve waited too long to save our relationship, I’m not sure what to do since its been 2 1/2 months before we started talking again. I think he is with the girl he left me for and he is moving on. I haven’t texted him since granted its only been a day. Am I too late or should I keep it slow and just text him every few days? I just don’t want to feel like I’m chasing him. I love him and I want to be with him again. Can I please get some help?

Lola

October 7, 2016 at 4:04 pm

I also forgot to mention when my ex replies, he seems positive and happy and it feels as though we are feeling the same good memories together. But as I was saying it feels like it’s just me texting him, when he replies it’s positive response with smiley faces but his responds don’t seem open ended. It’s like he replies but he doesn’t ask how I’m doing or any follow up questions to keep the conversation going.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 9, 2016 at 4:20 pm

Hi,

if he’s in a relationship, it’s just normal that he would take time to reply or reply less.. dont use a memory text again.. use a more natural topic.. text him again, after 3-5 days.. and then continue being active with yourself.. that if he sees your posts and compares you to the new girl, he would see you’re better.

AJ

October 6, 2016 at 2:11 am

Hi! I recently broke up wit my boyfriend of two years about 3 weeks ago. We had a pre-booked vacation scheduled two weeks after we broke up and because we were on good terms we still went. He was really great on vacation even doing romantic things it was like we had never broken up and seemed to try to win me back, talked a lot about the future however when got back from vacation he said he felt that we still needed space. I’ve started the NC at the beginning of this week but it’s killing me. I removed him from social media to help me stay strong because he kept liking my posts. Some friends of mine have said they didn’t stop taking to their exes after a break up and I’m wondering if should contact him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 4:42 pm

Hi Aj,

nope.. focus in improving yourself.. if you keep talking to him now, you’ll more probably end up being friendzoned.. be active in posting in social media.. even if you removed him, he can still check it through a different account.

Amanda

October 4, 2016 at 11:57 pm

My ex and I had dated for 3 months he was over the moon about me we talked every day we hung out a lot went on fancy dates things were great he just bought a house and had talked about me putting stuff at his place things were great. Im 21 and he is 24. Im still in school and he is a high school teacher. Out of no where (actual no where two days before he was still fun and flirty and having good conversations all day long) he said he has had a lot on his mind and his brain is going a million miles a minute and I had to pull it out of him but he said he wasn’t sure he was ready for a relationship. When I asked him why because i was confused because he was the one making future plans he said he wasn’t sure it was partly him being scared and partly a gut feeling he said it has nothing to do with me and he still likes me but he doesn’t want to keep going if he’s not sure if he’s ready because he doesnt want to lead me on. He says he still likes me and he thinks I’m a sweetheart and deserve everything in a relationship. We agreed to keep in contact and stay close. The next day I started the no contact process. its been 2 weeks and he hasn’t reached out to me after a week he also blocked me on Facebook which was strange because i hadn’t posted anything on fb since the break up. I am confused as to why he switched into not being ready when he was the one making plans? I don’t know why he would have blocked me on fb when we don’t really use it? And concerned he said we would stay close and be friends and he hasn’t tried to reach out to me yet. Im staying strong on the no contact process but still very confused.

Amanda

October 5, 2016 at 12:08 am

Also the day we broke things off I went to get a few things from his place that I needed and when we talked he started to cry. We ended very calmly and no arguing just a lot of confusion. I feel like if he didn’t like me and was trying to just break things off without hurting me he wouldn’t have told me he still liked me and he also wouldn’t have cried when I saw him. I feel like he just would have said he wasn’t ready and left it at that if he wasn’t into me but was trying to be nice.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 8:26 am

Hi Amanda,

you said he just bought a house, so maybe he wants to feel being single first before settling down.. you have to be active in social media and have you been improving yourself?

Olivia

October 4, 2016 at 4:27 pm

Hi I’m Olivia
So pretty much after months of going back and forth and not giving eachother space, which resulted in lots of fights, after the breakup he said that we just don’t work together and all that nonsense. I know it wasn’t working because I was too pushy and we just didn’t give eachother the time we needed. Since then I decided to actually go through with the no contact rule, fully. I’ve been focusing on myself my studies and getting in shape and honestly feel so much better. However, he’s in a group chat with me and our group of friends. He constantly tries to talk to me through there trying to get me to respond and talk to him. I’m not sure if this is good news or him just trying to be friendly. Thank you for your help!

Olivia

October 21, 2016 at 1:07 pm

I mentioned to him asking why he reached out to me if he was just gonna be sweet for a couple of days and then get bored of me, I realize I probably shouldn’t have done this but I couldn’t handle the uncertainty. Pretty much he said he was really sorry that he was just so busy and that he tried to message me as much as he could and that he was gonna fix it, what does this even mean? Weve been talking a bit more but he’s still not as flirty and sweet as he was before. I’m seeing him tonight, I don’t know what I should do. I’m not sure if he wants to fix things between us
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 9:20 pm

What happened when you met?
Olivia

October 16, 2016 at 8:08 pm

He’s not even being distant just indifferent, it makes no sense because he was being overly sweet a couple days ago
Olivia

October 16, 2016 at 2:10 pm

He’s starting to be really dry the past three days, not mean just less attentive. Before he would always ask how my day was and say sweet things and now he’s being different, what am I supposed to do is this even normal? I fee like I’m going backwards.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 7:16 pm

Has it only been a week or less than two weeks? I think it’s too early to expect that rapport has built.. if he’s being distant, lay low from initiating. Don’t be too available..
Olivia

October 15, 2016 at 5:52 pm

He was being a little distant yesterday since he had homecoming and today was talking about how much fun he had, I’m trying not to overthink it and just remain calm, it’s normal for him to get a bit comfortable and stop trying as hard?
Olivia

October 14, 2016 at 5:26 pm

He had told me before that he was making sure he’d never hurt me again, I know he cares about me I don’t doubt it, he was the one that wanted to get back in my life so I’m trying not to come off too strong. He has mentioned our past relationships many times and some minor problems we had ( playing it off as a joke) but whenever the convo steers to an actual talk about our relationship he changes direction. I feel he might be testing me since before I was very over emotional and a bit too much, is it possible he is trying to see if things really have changed ? I’m trying to just be calm and collected and not asking for everything all at once, it’s only been a week since he reached out again
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 15, 2016 at 3:11 am

yep.. more probably, that is what he’s doing…
Olivia

October 13, 2016 at 11:01 pm

Recently weve been texting, with both of us initiating conversation. He’s being a little nice talking about how I was really good to him and calling me pretty etc. he’s also mentioned hanging out in the future. However, he has a tendency to be indecisive and this was something I had felt hopeless sometimes so I’m trying not to get too excited.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2016 at 2:22 pm

yuo, that’s right.. dont expect much..let him nake his plan concrete first
Olivia

October 9, 2016 at 3:38 pm

Hi!
I had actually already done the no contact rule and he contacted me on day 30 saying that he doesn’t want things to be weird between us and that he wanted me to attend an event he and our friends will be at. I told him I’d be there and that everything is fine however he kept on trying to make conversation with me. I don’t really know if this just means him trying to get back or him being friendly.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 9, 2016 at 3:49 pm

if he’s being friendly that’s good.. it’s ok to start out as friends.. that’s how it should be and then y9u slowly build rapport and attraction from there
Olivia

October 6, 2016 at 10:03 pm

Yesterday the 30 days were up actually and he contacted me saying that he wants things to be okay with us and for me to attend a performance he’s in ( we used to do theatre together and a show is coming up where all of our friends are in as well) and to go to dinner with them after. I said I’d go and he kept on trying to make conversation. I’m just hoping this isn’t just him trying to make peace and be friendly id like actual progress
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2016 at 8:45 pm

HI Olivia,

it’s good news.. Just stay strong in no contact.. how long have you been in no contact?

Jenna

October 3, 2016 at 9:25 am

Hi my ex and I broke up back in May and we were supposed to move in with eachother. We were dating for 2.5 years. We got in a fight and he text me maybe it wasn’t a good idea to move in together and he has the same sense of hopelessness as in his divorce. I think he was scared but I freaked out and we broke up. He was still texting me and throughout the summer we hung out went on dates talked all the time but I was being a text gnat and getting in arguments about everything that went wrong. He eventually snapped said he was done and never getting back together again. I did it all wrong begged.. cried. Its day 19 of no contact. He met with my step dad for wings and a beer (they were close) he told him that we need to not talk for 3 or 4 weeks But we were never moving ahead from here and that I’d be happy for 2 months but I’d get unhappy again. I miss him and wish we just moved in together. Does this mean it’s hopeless or he just need 30 to 45 days to start to miss me? He is always going out with friends. We also deleted each other on social media… he even deleted our pictures together. He is ridiculously stubborn… it was an issue when we dated. Help idk what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 10:05 pm

Hi Jenna,

it’s human nature for him to miss you but that doesnt mean that doing just no contact for a certain amount of days will make him come back, especially if he thinks you’re clingy and needy.. that means, for you to have a higher chance, you have to genuinely change and have your own life

Victoria

October 2, 2016 at 4:00 pm

I was with a wonderful man who had just gotten out of a 15 year marriage from hell. She controlled him, wouldn’t let him do anything, go out, made him feel guilty if he did. They have 2 young kids together and he pretty much raised them.
We met after they had been separated for 7 months. We started off and it was wonderful went away together after 4 months and had the best trip ever. We realized we were more and more compatible with each passing day.
After 5 months he began to freak out. He had met my daughter but we were holding off on me meeting his girls as wanted divorce finalized. He talked to a friend and he told him things will get easier once kids meet and not running around trying to please everyone.
I had to constantly reassure him I wasn’t his ex, he could have a life and I wouldn’t be upset.
Then last week he was just done. He was becoming more and more selfish. Not considering me at all. Almost abusing his power of freedom, testing me? It was to the point where we talked about meeting his girls and the pressure was on as he told my daughter soon. I realized soon wasn’t going to happen so got mad as you can’t lead my kid on. He doesn’t want his ex to ruin how things are to be inflexible with kids and schedule, he doesn’t want her to make her parents less accommodating as he does rely on them for help with pick ups. He just finally said he had everything in his life in order but not himself and just wanted to be alone. He told me I could call or text whenever and he would always be there for me but needs this if he is ever going to feel happy and make someone else happy. I 100% agreed as was a long horrible marriage and need to find himself yet I am heart broken we talked about the future all the time, granted not the eminent future but we both love each other and have never felt this before for both of us.
It has been almost a week and he hasn’t reached out at all. I want to respect his alone time but I miss him and I want him to know I am here. With his warped sense of how women are he may think that I am mad and will just avoid as that is more baggage.
I get the if he is into you he would have contacted you by now…
I don’t know what to do…
I don’t know if can wait and do the NC rule with the thought of him thinking I am mad like his ex in back of his head. I just want to send simple funny text not initiate a lets talk and get back together as he needs this but to let him know I am here!
Help!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 11:01 am

Hi Victoria,

how are you now? did you send the text? I think you need to have a talk first of what would really happen in the relationship

Rebecca

October 1, 2016 at 10:46 pm

Hey!
So my ex and I broke up in June 2016. We never went more than 2 weeks without talking over the summer. But I have finally finished the no contact for 30 days. He never reached out to me. So I texted first. Bringing up a mutual interest and asking him how he’s been doing. With no response back. It’s been 5 days since I sent that text. What should I do…? It’s been months since we broke up…do I even have a chance left…?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 6:26 pm

Hi Rebecca,

how did you do during no contact? Did you improve yourself and are you still improving yourself? Wait a week before trying again.

Elaine

September 28, 2016 at 7:44 pm

My situation is weird and I’m not sure if NC will work for me. According to him we were only ever friends or fwb I guess. But I guess the signals were pretty mixed as he talked about getting married and having children but would spin it as joking. He was always very jealous but in a cute way. He would text me 100 times a day. We honestly had very little sex. He is very shy and awkward and I’m the first girl he has ever been with. He was very well aware that I was in love with him and would tease me about it just to get me to say it. I guess I kind of let him have all the control. Right before he broke up with me two things happened. He was told by mutual friends that I was sleeping with someone else. It wasn’t true. He claimed he believed me but told other people he didn’t. The second thing that happened was he was told that my ex-husband wants to fight with him over me and he was scared about it. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago and his reasoning was that we are just friends and he didn’t want to have sex or lead me on anymore or get beat up by my ex husband who is pretty crazy. He has continued to talk to me but has been very cold and distant but he also got into three separate arguments with a friend of his for talking to me accusing him of trying to hook up with me. Could it be he did feel something and NC might work or should I just let it go.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 2:20 pm

Hi Elaine,

Hmm.. wait.. Were you really officially together or not?

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