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Post categories
Myah
January 19, 2017 at 8:46 pm
My boyfriend dated me for a year. We broke up once, got back together within four days, then broke up again after another month. He officially left me December 10 2016. Over Christmas break he asked to hang out so for a week I had sex with him and hung out with him. He went back to college after break and said he didn’t have feelings and didn’t wanna be with me even though he lead me on all Christmas break. I started not contact on dec 29. It’s been 21 days of no contact and he hasn’t attempted to contact me not even once. I infriended him on snapchat and Facebook and Instagram weeks ago. I really really love him. He’s being awful and stubborn. What do i do?! All of these stories I read online say that the ex has been giving in like within four days or two weeks and it’s been 21 days and he hasn’t even attempted to talk to me! I’ve lost all hope. I’m depressed and want him back what do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 21, 2017 at 1:33 pm
Hi Myah,
how much did you improve during nc? were you active in posting?
Lilly
January 18, 2017 at 12:35 pm
Hey , my ex broke up with me on Saturday . This is our second breakup . I started The NC period from Tuesday . He broke up with me due to trust issues . Im scared it wont work or hell forget about me and move on to another girl. Hes a very strong man and even in the first break up I was the one to confront him . What shall I do ?
lilly
January 20, 2017 at 6:45 am
Because till November i was still texting other guys but as soon as he told me i stopped . I had no interest in the other guys . All I wanted was him .
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 21, 2017 at 3:18 pm
you stopped texting other guys since November? but you didn’t have space? maybe that’s what he needs to be able to forgive and trust you
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 19, 2017 at 7:41 am
Hi Lilly,
why doesn’t he trust you?
Jasmine
January 17, 2017 at 10:55 am
I slept with my bestfriend on Dec 27 th 2016. We’ve known each other for 3 years. He initially liked me but I was in a relationship and I had to distance myself from him. Few months after I broke up with my bf he contacted me and we became really close. One night he confessed that he loved me but is tOo insecure and doesn’t trust me. Few weeks later he got a gf. I was so pissed that I told him to never call me again. He was so depressed and kept apologizing. He told me he still thinks we have a shot cuz it wasn’t working out with this girl. That was the last straw and I stopped all communications with him. He then contacTed me after 2 months. By then I was over him. We became friends again. Few months forward He said he wasn’t seeing the girl anymore because he couldnt trust her. One night we were drunk and slept with each other and cuddled and he stayed over. He called me twice after that but when I asked him if it meant anything he said he is confused and he doesn’t want a relationship. 2 weeks later he called and we talked normally as friends but I told him I couldnt do it cuz I wanted more. So I told him to give me space. it came as a shock to him and he tried to reason with me. Says he thinks about that night all the time and thats why he called. But he still wasn’t ready for a relationship so he agreed in the end to give me space. But he reminded me that I was the one who pushed him away in the beginning p.s I was in a relationship that time and would call me at odd hours and send me weird emotional msgs. I had to choice but to block him. I apologized to him and I thought we had gone past that. Anyway I’m in day 3 of nc and it sure isn’t easy.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 17, 2017 at 7:50 pm
Hi Jasmine,
stick to nc so you have a higher chance of not being the friend with benefit anymore
Thamy
January 15, 2017 at 11:34 pm
I was dating a guy for two months…we didnt went out a lot…but i really liked him,but i was so insecure i became a text gnat and scared him away is there anyway To have a second chance? He is ignoring me Now
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 16, 2017 at 6:14 pm
Hi Thamy,
are you going to do the no contact rule?
Jenika
January 12, 2017 at 3:14 pm
Hi, my ex boyfriend hasn’t contacted me after the NC period. I begged for him back within the first 2-3 days of breaking up and then initiated NC after saying I accept it. He said he was done with us and didn’t want to try anymore didn’t love me anymore and if our paths cross in the future maybe we could give ourselves a fresh start but no guarantee. I said in the future I want to give us a try definitely and I’m going to change then said my goodbyes. I read that if I’m the one that begged that he has to be the one that initiates contact. He unfriended me on Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram. I made my accounts public so he could see my progress but I doubt he would check since he’s on tinder again doing his own thing. Thing is he’s also stubborn and most likely won’t initiate contact. I’m scared that if I initiate contact I’ll look weak to him especially since I begged him to work things out. What do you think I should do? Extend NC? Give up? Contact him? I’m also concerned that I ended our last conversation saying that I’m basically determined to win him back in the future and wonder if what I said will ruin my chances.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 13, 2017 at 1:42 pm
Hi Jenika,
how long did you do nc and from looking at your posts, does it look like you’re moving on? Did you go out on dates?
Eb
January 11, 2017 at 6:28 pm
My ex and I dated for 2 and a half months. The problem with him is that he is a big time blabbermouth and he is always trying to prove to the world that he never chased girls but they chase him. We were pretty happy in the relationship, but his blabbermouth nature was the major problem. He lives with his parents and brother and they are all pretty backward and narrow minded and want him to have an arranged marriage. They want him to stay away from me as much as he can. He used to tell them every tiny detail of our relationship, including our dates. They emotionally blackmailed him and forced him to break up with me. I don’t know what he told them about me, but they personally contacted me and told me to stop chasing him, while the truth is that I never chased him, the feelings were mutual and he initiated them.
What bothers me is that he told me he’s madly in love with me and wants to marry me and have kids and stuff but as soon as his parents told him to break up with me and look for an arranged marriage girl, he agreed and immediately moved on. He also started convincing me that I’ll find someone better and be happy without him. After the breakup I told him even my family disapproves of him. He never contacted me in 33 days and I have so many things i want to tell him. I don’t want to get back with him, I just want to make him realise his mistake, his cowardliness and his loser attitude. I want to talk to him and tell him that our breakup is entirely his fault.
Also, given his blabbermouth, boastful nature, I’m afraid he’s going to go around spreading rumours about me not only to his family but also to his friends, mutual friends, colleagues and other people. I don’t wanna be the topic of discussion.
Considering his boastful nature, if I try to initiate conversations with him, he might go around telling his family that I’m still chasing him. I sometimes miss the times we had. I hate the fact that I still love him and I’m hurting myself by doing all this. I cry over my helplessness and not being able to contact him. No one understands me and I have no friends to help me through this. I’m really stressed over this entire thing.
We’re not connected on social media and he never even bothered to send me a request after I removed him from my friend list. I don’t know what to do, please help.
Eb
January 22, 2017 at 10:58 am
Hi Amor,
Your advice that day really helped me out. I have been focussing on myself personally and professionally, being as productive as I can. But then, I still feel that I can’t stop my mind from hovering back at times. In the past couple of days, I found myself reading old chats of ours, listening to recordings of old conversations and whatsapp voice notes. I know he’s probably not even thinking of me right now, since he has not even once tried to get in touch with me after our breakup. But, despite trying so hard I keep getting back to those memories. The worst part is, I can’t delete his chats or recordings, because I don’t trust him. Incase he tries to accuse me of chasing after him or stalking him, these chats and call records are the only proofs of my innocence. Since I already told you what a trashy family background he comes from, it’s like his whole family is involved in our relationship. I don’t know what to do or say and I don’t know how to stop myself and resist the temptation. Every time I go through the conversations, I feel like talking to him and going back to the old times. What hurts the most, is that he doesn’t even care. It’s like all those lovely things he said and did during our relationship, was a big lie. It hurts me even more to think that he doesn’t care anymore and he’s moved on so fast. I want to move on too. I want to stop thinking about him too. Please help.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 23, 2017 at 12:38 pm
it’s a process..dont avoid thinking about him..when you do, jusy acknowledge the feeling and then go back to what you were doing at that time or write down what you feel
Eb
January 15, 2017 at 8:33 am
Thanks Amor!
It’s really helpful. I will try my best!
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 15, 2017 at 6:43 pm
you’re welcome! you can do it!
Eb
January 14, 2017 at 1:51 pm
I’m 21 and he’s 29. We broke up in December second week 2016
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 14, 2017 at 4:47 pm
if you just really want to make him regret and not get back with him, then improve yourself but dont talk to him.. just improve and be successful..
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 13, 2017 at 10:27 am
Hi Eb,
hoe old are you both? and when did yo7 break up?
Berenice
January 9, 2017 at 5:01 pm
Hello,
I have been dating someone for almost a year now and it has been great. When we fell for each other everything happened so quickly and before we knew it we were doing everything together. Then I started to freak out because he hadn’t said “I love you” yet to me. We gave it about two more months and I still hadn’t heard it and when we talked about it he said he’s not sure if he’ll feel it. Now we’re on a 21 day break with absolutely no contact. He hasn’t tried reaching out to me. During our break I realized that I didn’t give him the space he needed and I think that’s why he doesn’t want to be together anymore. Should I give up completely?
Thanks,
Berenice
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 9, 2017 at 7:32 pm
Hi Berenice,
How much did you improve and change in the last 21 days? were you actively posting in social media?
Emily
January 8, 2017 at 8:32 pm
i am now using the no contact on my ex. we broke up 2 months ago. but during the break up we were talking as friends and i made it okay for him to think that we can work out as friends. I on the other hand i’m not okay with it, which is why im doing the no contact for 30 days. i started the no contact for one week, then he texted saying that the movie we were supposed to watch together is no longer available at the cinema, and that he was thinking to meet up either tuesday or wednesday. i didn’t reply. the next day he replies back saying you are not answering, is that a no? i replied 5 hours later saying, yes it is a no. he texted back saying alright, thanks for telling me. if you change your mind let me know. i didn’t reply back after that. I broke the no contact by replying to him by saying no. so i started the no contact all over and i am now on my 3rd day.
now my question is, is the process working?
and if i am viewing his snapchat stories, does it mean i’m breaking the no contact rule?
i haven’t been viewing his snaps lately, and i noticed he stopped viewing mine as well. what does it mean?
we were in a long distance relationship, he lives in texas and i in lebanon. he comes for a month during christmas and during summer.
he is now in lebanon for a month and will be traveling back in one week. after that i won’t see him till next christmas.
so i am just wondering if the no contact will work as well in my situation?
how should i handle the no contact in my situation?
Thank you so much for your time.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 8, 2017 at 11:19 pm
Hi Emily,
there’s no guarantee that it will work.. dont check his posts.. you dont have to restart count but focus now in improving yourself and be active in posting in social media..
marie
December 29, 2016 at 6:49 am
Hey, i dated this guy on and off for a year and then we hooked up and had deep feelings a few times a year later. i already know i messed up a year ago when we broke things off cause i stayed in contact with him cheated on a boyfriend with him and never ever shyed away on how much i loved him he took full advatage of it but two months ago he played me again had me thinking we could be something then stopped it i havent talked to him in two months…… i would reach out to him but over the past year i was the one to reach out and he will just think im still madly inlove with him;….. i was wondering if even if you ncr for 6 months or more your ex can still contact you…??
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 30, 2016 at 10:48 am
Hi Marie,
honestly, he might still will but probably just for a booty call because that’s how you were to him before. So, if you want a restart, don’t ever sleep with him unless you’re really official.
Jo
December 25, 2016 at 2:42 am
Hey there! Just completed day 14 of NC…it’s been extremely hard because of the holidays, but I’m a strong woman and I can make it the next 16 days! I actually think that was the problem in our relationship. I was too strong and bossy for my ex and he never had the courage to stop me. I repeatedly told him to stand up to me because I knew there were moments that I over stepped my mark.
The day after the breakup my ex blocked me on all forms of social media. I tried calling, texting, and emailing, but no response.
My question is…if I’m completely blocked, how should I try to make that first contact? Do I try to email or text again? Do I extend my time to the 45 day NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 2:25 pm
Hi Jo,
Check this:
EBR 002: What To Do If You Have No Way Of Talking To Your Ex
August Pearson
December 24, 2016 at 7:53 pm
He broke up with me on my birthday, because his mom suggested he needed to be single. He then dropped out of school and moved across the country the next day.
He had been struggling with schoolwork and mental health issues for a couple months, and I had been taking him to counselling, emailing profs for him, cooking for him, talking through it with him. I was really doing my best to help, we’d been together 2 years.
The whole birthday he was hysterical, he cried and clung to me, saying he didn’t want to do this because he still loves me very much, but he needs to heal and be on his own. I didn’t cry or beg, I was very respectful of his decision. As he left he said we will get back together in a month, I’ll see you then.
I never saw this coming. All of our friends are still shocked. He was always the more lovey/clingy one in our relationship.
It will be a month tomorrow. I have been doing NC successfully since the day of the breakup. But he has not contacted me and he has been posting daily about him partying lots and seeing other girls on social media. This does not reflect him saying he wants to get back together.
Please tell me what direction I should go in now. Thank you so much.
Katie
January 25, 2017 at 2:09 pm
My ex boyfriend experienced similar mental health issues and a “breakdown”. Is there any article which addresses what we should do in these situations?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 25, 2017 at 3:56 pm
not yet specifically I believe..I’ll forward this to Chris! Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 1:50 pm
Hi August,
how old are you both and how much did you improve during nc? were you actively posting in social media too?
A
December 23, 2016 at 10:47 pm
Hello,
My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me 2 days ago. He told me he is lost and needs time to figure himself out and being in a relationship isn’t feasible while he figures that out. He said he doesn’t love himself so he can’t take care or be in love anyone else right now. He told me I’m his best friend and the most important thing to him but he just isn’t sure he is in love with me. We’ve been together since I was 18 and he was 19. He told me he felt he missed a lot of his 20’s because of this. I asked if we could take a break and see how things go and he said he didn’t want to get my hopes up but did say we could re-evaluate things in a few weeks. About 12 hours after the breakup, he texted one of my friends to make sure that I had people to help me and support me through this. I know he cares a great deal about me and I am hoping all he will need is time and space to figure out what he needs. He has reached out to me through text message the day after the breakup saying he is having a hard time and that he wants to be there for me. He also said he wanted to see me in a few days. I told him that I was sorry he was having a hard time but I think right now we need our space. That is the last we have contacted each other. It has been about 36 hours since I sent that text message. We do live together but I packed some of my stuff and am temporarily staying with my parents. I hope to get back together with him but want to give him the time and space he needs to figure himself out. Should I pack all of my things now? Or wait it out and see what happens and if he contacts me? It would take me at least a day to get my things and I will be too busy to do so for at least another week. Any recommendations on anything else I can do during this NC period? Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 9:31 am
Hi A,
It’s ok to talk to him about your things that you need and about the dog, as long as it’s only about those things. So, that means no greeting him, no asking how he is, no small talk. If he does initiate when you meet, just reply politely short.
Anne
December 21, 2016 at 8:56 pm
Hi,
My boyfriend and I dated for 6 months before we broke up, we did long distance the entire time. How does long distance work with the no contact rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 25, 2016 at 11:20 am
Hi Anne,
check this one:
The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship
Jade
December 20, 2016 at 2:39 am
What do you do if he’s done a full block out and has not unblocked you after the NC period is up?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 20, 2016 at 11:18 pm
HI Jade,
Even if you bought our products, there’s no guarantee that you would get him back. And just to make it a little more clearer, if he called you crazy in the past, that means you make your world revolve around him which is not a healthy way to be in a relationship. And in your other comment, I think he said you could whatever you want because he felt he was being accused. Though for me, I would probably ask him in the same words, but not in the same way. I would do it in person to set the tone. But I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying the probable reason why he reacted that way. Stop chasing him. It’s not attractive. Aside from moving on, the better option is to do the no contact rule and really, genuinely change. Build a new routine and have your own life apart from him. I think you should do 45 days and if you’re still blocked after that, set a limit on until when you would observe if he unblocks you before moving on.
Alice
December 19, 2016 at 3:30 am
When my ex bf broke up with me I told him never to contact me again and he agreed we need to spend some time with no contact to get over each other . He is stubborn so I know he won’t contact me. I was planning on doing NC on him however in my second last text message I was a little nasty and he didn’t reply to that or my much nicer final message. I’m up to day 16 so half way through, won’t it be a little weird when I do contact him after 30 days being all “hey you will never guess what happened to me?!” Or whatever as if nothing has happened and those words were never said?
Alice
December 28, 2016 at 4:11 am
Hi,
He not only has me blocked on facebook but he has also deactivated his own facebook account (which has been deactivated since day 1 of NC, currently up to day 25).
I still have access to contact him via email and possibly SMS (I won’t know until I try to contact him if he has blocked me via SMS after my last nasty message).
I was thinking, after 30 days NC maybe I should send him an invitation to use Instagram (he doesn’t use it) to his email which could spark his interest to look at my public Instagram profile? I would probably have to do that OR and SMS though because both would probably be too much.
Or should I just go with the traditional sms to start with?
We were together 2 years and the last few months were awful, both of us breaking up with the other one a few times over. In the end he made the call to end it for good.
I only have 5 days of NC to go (and omg it’s gone so quickly). I’m getting nervous and I’m not entirely sure enough time has passed, should I keep going with NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 30, 2016 at 3:34 am
it would be better to send an sms..becaue it’s weird to send an instagram invitation all of a sudden..if you’re in blocked in sms also, what about other social media? Snapchat? whatsapp? if there is no other way, use email
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 22, 2016 at 10:04 am
Hi Alice,
if you are active in your life and also active in posting, he will think you’re starting to move on and when what you said before, it was all just out of anger..
Amber
December 16, 2016 at 1:43 pm
My ex just called me after months of no contact (apart form literally just emailing about bills). I didn’t answer. I don’t intend to message him back or anything as I’m scared what it was about or if was an accident. And i figured if it’s really important he’ll try again or send me a message. But what do I do if he happens to ever call again? Do I answer?
Amber
December 19, 2016 at 12:40 pm
hi, I was in long term no contact. I meant we both didn’t contact each other for months. I’ve been doing no contact for enough time basically. But I don’t wish to initiate any contact. I tried that after two months of no contact from when he broke up with me and he messaged back but then the conversation died out so that was it. Then I did 4 more months of no contact (apart form I had to reply to his question of bills) and now I have a missed called from him just totally out of the blue. I’m hoping he will call me again as I’m curious to find out why he’d call me. I considered calling him just to find out if he is okay but I don’t want to call him. Especially as he might not answer and then I’d feel stupid.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 22, 2016 at 11:44 am
I think it’s just normal that you would ask why he called..if he doesn’t reply, that’s ok..
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 19, 2016 at 5:22 am
Hi Amber,
are you in a long term nc?
Dawn
December 15, 2016 at 11:45 pm
It seems most of your advice is for the 20/30 somethings. What about us older folks? My ex has not contacted me at day 23 and if his history or patterns are any indication, he never will. He runs every time from any conflict, how is this no contact rule suppose to help me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 17, 2016 at 1:04 pm
Hi Dawn,
Most of the readers are young but the no contact rule is more if it’s applicable with the situation, sometimes regardless the age.. In your case, how long were you together? Hoe much did you improve during nc?
Dionne
December 15, 2016 at 3:08 pm
Hi, my ex and I were together for 4months and some change….he broke it off going on two weeks ago. Do you recommend the 21day or the 30day NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 16, 2016 at 3:24 pm
Hi Dionne,
yeah, start the 21 day count after this
Kikka
December 15, 2016 at 3:28 am
Hi Amour,
for a relationship that lasted 2 months and half, would you suggest the 30 or 21 days NC?
Thank you!
Kikka
December 15, 2016 at 2:45 pm
we broke up 24 days ago for no real reason… I think he just got cold feet…. never contacted him since then.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 16, 2016 at 3:21 pm
Hi kikka,
if you want, do it like the tide theory above.Slowly build up until the rest day.. Like if you texted 2 today, do 3-4 today.. If not, rest today and then try again tomorrow, try the 50-50 way..but the downside to that is that it’s hard to build momentum because the talking is not done everyday
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 15, 2016 at 11:19 am
Hi Kikka
most of the time it’s 21 but it also depends on how long you’ve broken up, why broke up, if you chased or keept talking after the breakup
Sophie
December 14, 2016 at 10:34 am
Hey,
I initiated NC 22nd October and my ex then contacted me on the 24th November!! However he told me he’s met someone else and I’ve heard he’s taking her out on dates etc so in my eyes he’s moved on during the NC period.
Whenever he sees my friends, he asks how I am and they tell him to leave me alone.
Since he contacted me on the 24th November I have not heard anything however I’ve become quite stubborn myself and do not want to message him especially if he’s seeing someone else now.
I don’t really know what to do, is there even a chance?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 15, 2016 at 2:43 am
Hi Sophie,
decide first. Do you really want to try or not? If yes,
check this:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)