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Post categories
Hurt
October 26, 2017 at 1:33 pm
My ex bf broke up with me 3 months ago for being too needy and controlling. We work in the same office and it was really hard to see him everyday, I cried and begged him for a couple of weeks and then tried to keep my distance. After a couple more weeks I managed to go no contact for a month. He did not seem to care at all and has been acting really happy around the office. I initiated contact again and we have started messaging daily. He has been acting really distant but always replies, sometimes after hours (one time 22 hours). I have asked him if we can meet up and talk so I can get some closure to move on as it seems like he really isn’t interested and he said yeah but he is busy and doesn’t want things to be emotional. Since we began talking he has started flirting loudly with a new girl at the office, they laugh and giggle loudly all day long, they pass each other silly drawings while giggling and go for lunch. We started talking a lot and we have even noticed we have been doing some of the same things around the same time which is weird. But sometimes he lies and says he has fallen asleep when he doesn’t reply for hours but I know it isn’t true, he has done this about 4 times. We were having a long texting conversation which has spanned across 2 days, he didn’t reply to me last night but got back to me first thing (claiming he fell asleep at 730pm). So I replied and since then he hasn’t responded but has been messing around at work. He has been flirting with the girl really loudly again and has been throwing things at her and laughing. I walked past and looked at him and he looked back. He still has not replied to my texts and is clearly not busy at all but continuing to flirt with this girl he isn’t working just having a giggling conversation with her. Its really upsetting me, he knows I know he isn’t busy and that I can hear him giggling. Is he trying to make me jealous or show me he doesn’t care?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 29, 2017 at 11:14 am
HI Hurt,
maybe, just keep being indifferent and keep putting more time in your own activities, especially the ones that improve yourself.
W
October 7, 2017 at 5:32 pm
Hi , it’s been 3 days and he have yet to initiate. I initiated a text and told him that if he would wanna talk things out again tmr. At first he told me that he don’t think so because he has something going on. Later then i ask him if he could swap his appointment because i would really like to spend the day with him. He then told me he might need to go out at 3. I asked him again until what time and he answered me maybe he have to go out latest by 5. And i asked him if he could change his appointment to the other day again and he asked me if how long im gonna take if im going over. I told him i would like to spend a whole day with him but if he really have to go out then nvm it’s ok. He ended up telling me he have to go out at night and other than that he’s ok with it. He has been changing his time from 3 to 5 and to night. Does it really mean anything? If a guy doesn’t want anything to do with you he wouldn’t have actually agreed on meeting up to talk abt it right?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 8, 2017 at 8:59 pm
Hi W,
When your ex is being distant, don’t ask for a date.. That means there’s not enough rapport… But since you already talked, it’s clear that he has or is moving on and he can see you’re chasing him.. So, it’s either you do one last nc of 45 days, slowly rebuild rapport after it while you continue having your own life or just move on..
If you’re doing nc, approach it like he had moved on. That way you’re not going to ask or demand for time or to take you back.. You’re going to try to make him attracted to you, like you would do to a stranger that you’re interested with…
sarah
October 3, 2017 at 4:01 pm
Hi I have committed the cardinal sin – I facebooked my exes girlfriend to tell her we had been initmate they had both been very cruel posting things on facebook and I had asked him to give me respect and dignity. We were together 3.5 years and I moved cities and jobs and moved in with him – he dumped me by text my son came over with me and now has moved back to our original town leaving me alone without family and friends. She is from his workplace and they got together in around 4-6 weeks after we split which is questionable! Anyway last week I now know they split up and this week rekindled and went to a lodge which was mine and his thing he is bringin the relationship to the same status as ours once was. He has major attachment issues too! I am not this way inclined but enough was enough and I had lost everything I was angry he played mind games for 3.5 years and still continued to do so up until yesterday with whats app! I realise I will continue with NC I love him and I don’t know why apart from the “addiction thing” last time we were intimate was 4 weeks ago. I want him back I have developed my relational skills but he has these issues which are unhealthy but I did have a relationship I desire back. They have now been together 3 months when he told her as he confessed before the messages hit her do you think they will part#?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 3, 2017 at 10:05 pm
Hi Sarah
Even if they do, that doesn’t mean he’s changed for the better..
Lucy
October 2, 2017 at 5:22 am
Great Article! I think a few reasons apply to my situation. Our breakup was drawn out and emotional, although mostly respectful. It was super hard on both of us. He had made up his mind to break things off, but we talked things through and he walked away confused, needing time to process. In the end he stuck with his decision, but I did not react well. I just broke the silence after 35 days of no contact. I’m second guessing that the message may not have been casual enough. He did reply but it was very polite and void of any emotion. I replied mirroring his response and ended the conversation…which he replied to. I guess I don’t know how to proceed? Give him some space? But how long? How do I get the power back? He seems to have it atm.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 2, 2017 at 9:28 pm
Initiate again after 2-3 days
W
October 1, 2017 at 2:11 am
Half and abit . His responses are very neutral , but he did respond to every text of mine , even with an ‘ok’ or ‘idk’, something like that. I followed the tide theory for the first two days and then i ended the convo by saying ‘i’ve an appointment going on, chat next time’ . And he replied with an ‘ok’. I went to chat with him 3 days later. And till the day before his responses are getting a lil better but not till positive. Until yesterday, his response became cold again like the first day i started to approach him. And he even bluetick me and not opening my mesaage. He usually wont act like this. He’ll usually reply me with an ok at times, or at times he’ll just bluetick me when he doesnt have anything to reply.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 2, 2017 at 11:57 am
You have to use better topics, ones that are more interesting for him and it’s too early give gifts if you’re not building up rapport.. Focus and be more active in your life.. And in posting..in a way that when he sees your posts he would think you’re just being friendly because clearly, you have a more interesting life than him, which could help make him regret not having you
w
September 30, 2017 at 5:49 am
Hi, my ex seems open up a lil to me already for a few days after talking to him after NC. But I suddenly feel that he is distancing and closing up himself again. What does this mean. What should i do. We broke up for 4 months already.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 30, 2017 at 10:01 pm
Hi W,
Are you following the tide theory in texting?
Amy
September 29, 2017 at 7:42 am
I told u in the other posts what happened and how we had a mini spat! And now I don’t think he will text me although we were going really good with each other but he got angry with me out of nowhere so now what should I do?
Amy
October 2, 2017 at 3:02 pm
Should I do a mini NC and start again or what? Please reply?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 2, 2017 at 7:39 pm
Yup, maybe a week or two
Amy
October 1, 2017 at 3:22 pm
I have already checked this one out and it doesn’t give much clues as it’s all about chemicals and all!
I don’t know if I should text him or wait for him to text me or apologize etc? Just give me a clue as to what should I do now about this fight?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 30, 2017 at 6:39 pm
It did affect your chances.. Check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Wants Nothing To Do With Me
Kim
September 28, 2017 at 8:01 pm
Why would my ex become distant after he tells me he is interested in talking about starting our relationship again. He emailed me that and told me that the last time we spoke. He told me to think on it and let him know? He knows I have started dating again. He has started dating again. He said he thinks about me on the dates. So if he really wants to be with me, why would he not try talking to me after that conversation?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 29, 2017 at 12:33 am
He said you should think about it because you were unsure, so, he’s probably waiting for you to initiate.. if you want to give him a chance, lay out your conditions.
Amy
September 27, 2017 at 4:15 pm
Thank God, you published this article!
I have a similar situation with my ex! We are in the rapport building stages, and one day we are the best of friends, he compliments me and we have a great time together talking and then the next day he will be distant and then not text me for 2 or more days and then start again!
It does get really frustrating when u go make a lot of progress and then he becomes distant for several days!
Can anything be done except waiting it out?
Amy
October 1, 2017 at 3:24 pm
Please tell me what should I do about this fight? What should I do next? I read the article but didn’t give me much clues!
Should I text him or wait for him and I know he won’t text me after this!
I don’t know what to do!
Amy
September 29, 2017 at 7:40 am
Amor
We fought and now we aren’t talking ! Should I still wait it out in the hopes that he will text me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 30, 2017 at 6:39 pm
It did affect your chances.. Check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Wants Nothing To Do With Me
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2017 at 11:19 pm
if he’s being distant; nagging him, being angry and fighting with him will push him further away. Waiting it out and being active in your own life is the better option and what you should do now..