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1,957 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

  1. Rachel

    October 1, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    I dated a guy for about a month and it moved very fast. Within a week of dating (6 “dates” in 8 days, he initiated all of it) he had already invited me for a long weekend to meet his parents 2 hours away (i had to decline due to previous plans). A year before this, i had been involved with a man for 1.5 years who turns out was lying about having cancer and ultimately a fiancé. I thought I had “healed” but turns out I hadn’t & I had a LOT of trust issues. This poor guy ended up paying for all of my ex’s mistakes. I told him one night I wasn’t really feeling that he was into me (looking back he was probably just tired) and after that he pulled away, but kept seeing me. Finally, I asked if he was still seeing other people and he told me he was and that he wasn’t ready for something so serious since he’s still new to dating after a 10 yr relationship (ended a year ago). I had a meltdown. I forced him to make a decision about us and he said if I was forcing him, then yes he was done. A few days later I tried to get him back and he said no, and I had another meltdown. I tried to explain my “needy” behavior by saying I was worried because my period was late & that’s why I had been so emotional a few days earlier. It wasn’t late, but I WAS worried I could be preggers because of a birth control mishap. Well, it ended up coming out that my period wasn’t late yet (I confessed when I had a moment of clarity, but all he saw was that I lied, NOT that there was a chance) and it became a huge mess. I tried a few times after that to fix things, but I kept making things worse. The last time we talked, he told me he doesn’t like being manipulated and lied to and he doesn’t hate me, he’s just tired of this and wants nothing to do with me. Understandable. That conversation didn’t exactly end well either. I finally went NC and I’m currently at 35 days. I know I have made every single possible mistake I could make and that my odds are beyond slim since we barely dated. I’ve gotten into counseling to work on my trust issues and I’m determined nothing like this will EVER happen again. I want to try to leave things on a positive note with this guy. But I’m not sure how to? Should I send a funny picture I found online to make him laugh to open up the lines of communication (its related to something we laughed about while dating) or should I just send a final apology apologizing for my break down? I don’t think it’s been enough time, so how long should I wait? Or should I even bother at all? We didn’t date very long, but there was something special about him.

    1. admin

      October 2, 2013 at 12:39 am

      I say only message him when YOU are ready and to me you don’t sound ready yet.

    2. Rachel

      October 1, 2013 at 3:15 pm

      I forgot to mention that before I pushed him away he was totally smitten with me. He introduced me to his friends the 2nd night I knew him and he tried to see me every chance he had. It came as a total shock that he was still seeing other people because every free chance he had, he was with me. Looking back, I think it was either his way of trying to keep things from moving too fast or that he had begun to distance himself and was starting to date other people. He said he wasn’t looking as actively as before, but he still was. Since my ex had had a fiance I didnt know about, I felt threatened by other girls (one of the things I’ve been working on in therapy :))

  2. Shelly

    October 1, 2013 at 8:00 am

    I have a new bf and my ex and I still talk everyday in friendly terms. When he let me know that he has a new gf and I replied ecstatically, he seemed to ignore me since then and become aloof.
    I don’t want to play this NC rule but I think I have no choice because he is now ignoring me. I am so devastated because even if I had a bf, we were still very close. Do you think I shouldn’t have been too ecstatic with my reply when he revealed he has a new gf? I just want to be happy for him because he deserves to be happy too.

    Now I missed him. What do you think I should do?

    1. admin

      October 2, 2013 at 12:22 am

      I think being ecastic is no problem at all. In fact, I think thats the best way.

  3. Kay

    October 1, 2013 at 4:21 am

    Sooo…I just sent you a comment before not realizing your old posts had some of my answers…I’m sure you get that a lot. I hate the fact that I did everything I wasn’t suppose to do. If it were any other guy, I would not have acted the way I did. I wish I wasn’t in love with him. However, along with what I said before, if your ex is starting to improve his life..such as, running, stopped smoking, going out more, hanging with friends more…is there still that chance he will come back when apparently he got too comfortable with me when we dated? Does that scare him thinking he doesn’t want to be with me again because he was unhappy with who he was when he was with me? Again, he has so many uncertainties with his life, is he scared to commit? I just hate the fact that he used distance as a reason to break up (2 hours away) to concentrate on going to grad school (which he has been trying to do forever) and me with trying to get a career. Later, he says that it wasn’t only distance, but also on how I handled the break up and how he saw another side of me. Hey, he didn’t handle it perfectly either…but I guess better than I did. I told him that I feel insulted and that I knew I acted crazy..I also told him that if he were to ever judge my character, judge me from the year and a half that we dated. Though the new girl is in the picture, do you think he would still try and text me with the no contact rule? I also like to mention that I think he is interested in this girl because she is more active and I don’t know if that is why he is improving his life…to impress this girl? To get distracted? I guess I should explain a bit about my personality…I am laid back, very optimistic, happy, have a corny sense of humor, and I always laugh. I personally know I am a good catch and could probably get most guys (I am not trying to be conceited…just trying to be honest). However, I don’t want anyone else…sure talking to a guy at a bar is exciting for just that moment…but my thoughts always go back to HIM…Should I move on completely and avoid any hope? I mean…he let me go…what would stop him from doing that again if we did get back together. Do you think he already got a taste of what the relationship was before, so why would he want to go back to that in the future?

    1. admin

      October 2, 2013 at 12:02 am

      Yes I do unfortunately. I wish more people were like you and would go read the posts rather than wait for me to tell them.

      WAs your relationship with him generally good? He may find that no one is as good as you in the future.

    2. Kay

      October 2, 2013 at 11:17 pm

      I thought so. I mean..I think that’s the problem with me. I am too nice. At that time, I thought the relationship was great and I know he was happy also. However, I think when he reflected back on the relationship, he realized he probably didn’t like who he was (the getting too comfortable part). I think this is also why he is interested in this girl (apparently…he was set up thinking he wasn’t going to be interested in this girl, and he told me he ended getting interested). She plays for a college sports team and is quiet and nice. I told him that’s why…he’s probably trying to take a break from my loud mouth. haha Also, I told him specifically to tell everyone that he broke up with me (because everyone will tell him he’s an idiot haha), such as the people I used to work with/where he works still. I found out he told everyone it was mutual and Idk…he has been deceitful about this new girl and it’s just out of his character. He did tell me about a family issue that is pretty serious and I told him I would still be here to talk to him. I always message him on FB and for the past 4 days, I haven’t tried, which is pretty odd for us not talking. Then, yesterday, he found out about one of my family member’s health issue and told me if I needed to talk to him, to text him and he didn’t know if that was even an option anymore. I told him with the new girl in the picture, it changes everything. He then told me to forget about that and that if I needed him to talk, then I needed him to talk. I don’t know what his mindset is at. Obviously, he does care, but he must know that if he is talking to this girl, there is a huge chance that he will lose me. So now…I’m thinking as difficult as it may be…maybe I should let him go…:/

    3. admin

      October 3, 2013 at 2:05 am

      I have kind of the same issue (being too nice.) So, I can definitely understand where you are coming from.

      I think in the end you should always do what’s best for your own well being.

    4. Kay

      October 6, 2013 at 11:45 pm

      So..
      I have another question. haha
      I know he notices my status on FB. I put that I was going out of town. He messaged me telling me he hopes that I have fun. Of course, I should ignore him and do the NC rule. However, I just can’t make myself ignore him. I guess for us…I feel it’s difficult to completely stop talking. It would be completely weird for us. I mean it’s also strange because it’s almost as if he doesn’t want to just say bye at the end of the conversation…he has to put talk to you later. My friend did send a picture of her and him (which..I did not need to see at all) of him without a curly q mustache (yes, in a college town…he gets a lot of ladies with that). I told him how she sent me that and he said it was weird without his mustache. I told him no, it made me missed him haha (I know that’s a big no based on your other blog post). However, he put a smiley face and told me even with out the mustache?! and the conversation was just casual “us”. I think he’s been messaging me because I haven’t tried contacting him for Idk…a week or so? Again, this is peculiar, considering we used to talk every day. Is this the NC effect in full force? Should I still completely ignore him? I know I won’t try contacting him first…I miss him, but I don’t have that urge to because of all the things that had happened. When he does talk to me, it does make me happy..oyyy!

    5. admin

      October 7, 2013 at 12:48 am

      Yup that is the NC effect haha.

      Keep ignoring him until your contact period is over.

    6. Kay

      October 4, 2013 at 5:43 am

      DAA BOMMMB,
      Thanks again! It always helps me to vent out things, especially typing my thoughts. Though some days are easier than others, I know I need to stick to thinking about the positives. He WILL miss me and he WILL regret it. Sometimes we have to look at the positives. I’ve been given a second chance. I have not been single in about 5 years (going from a three year, straight to a two year relationship). Time to focus on me and my career. If he comes back, he comes back. If he doesn’t, then his lost…:/

      Talk to you later, maybe? I’m sure I’ll need your advice one of these days.

      -Ahhh Snap (my new name)

    7. admin

      October 4, 2013 at 10:04 pm

      Whenever you need to vent feel free to come here haha.

      I enjoy talking to you.

      AHHHH SNAP…

    8. Kay

      October 3, 2013 at 5:09 pm

      Thanks Chris!
      Yous daa bommb! I’m usually the rational type and this is the first time I went crazy. I’m usually the advice giver, telling others they are idiots. haha I guess I knew what I should do, but I just didn’t want to listen to myself or others, really. I think with me…when it reaches a point, I get annoyed and I just want to block out everything and move on. With this new girl, I think it made me a bit disgusted and turn me off of him a bit.

    9. admin

      October 4, 2013 at 1:02 am

      I wish I could change my name to DAA BOMMB!

      Hey no need to explain it to me. Trust me I get it 🙂

  4. Becca

    September 30, 2013 at 9:24 pm

    So my no contact ended and when i reached out to him the first time it wen well then the second time I texted got a neutral response and then I replied to what he said then he didn’t respond to what i wrote. I reached out again last week and he did not reply to what I wrote when he normally at least will say something. Does it mean something that he ignored it? or maybe it was what I wrote to him that has got him thinking and feeling something for me. Thoughts?

    1. admin

      October 1, 2013 at 1:49 am

      Yes, it means that he is clearly still angry at you.

    2. Becca

      October 2, 2013 at 12:32 am

      why would he be angry at me? when he is the one who dumped me out of no where and felt there wasn’t a connection anymore. I don’t think i did anything wrong. Our relationship felt right and we never had fights because we worked together.

    3. admin

      October 3, 2013 at 12:08 am

      Sometimes men like to paint themselves as the victims.

    4. Becca

      October 3, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      Sorry but that is stupid that they do that! when especially i’m the one that got most hurt here by being dumped by the person I was and still am in love with and who loves me.

    5. admin

      October 4, 2013 at 12:48 am

      I didn’t say it was smart.

      In fact it is completely stupid and unfair and yet I kind of do the same thing which is why I know it :/.

  5. Grace

    September 30, 2013 at 2:37 am

    Hello,

    I started internet dating almost 7 Mon t vs ago and met a man who completely swept me off my feet. He was the first to ask for exclusivity, first to introduce me to his parents and give me a key to his house. I would say I t moved rather quickly but I totally fell in love. He was married and had a bad divorce in which his ex wife requested the divorce, no matter how much he tried and went to counseling she didn’t want to salvage the relationship. He mentioned that this was a hard time in his life but that I was the complete opposite of her and even brought up marriage. Within the last month he distanced himself from me and expressed that he was not being the affectionate partner that he needed to be for me and didn’t know why. I left town for the week and refrained from contacting him, only responding when he initiated. Within a few days he text me asking if I would be ok with us exploring the dating scene again. I was devastated…essentially he broke it off in a text and I requested h s call. When he did, he stated the typical ” it’s not you it’s me, I thought 2 years would be enough for me to move forward with complete confidence from my failed marriage, obviously I’m not there yet…I’m not the person and the lover I should be.” I said that it was unfortunate because I could have ed made him a happy man and he said “sweet babe u did”. Within a few hours I found him back on the dating site we met saying “searching for a relationship” … I’m crushed and want him back so badly… any advice?

    1. admin

      October 1, 2013 at 1:52 am

      Have you implemented the NC rule?

  6. Alyson Erbach

    September 28, 2013 at 1:15 am

    hey Chris
    so I have just had a break up and let me tell you, it is really stressful for me. my story goes like this, so we were together and we were perfect, a really great couple, a few fights here an there but we always managed to work through them.
    the one day we were suppose to hang out, I was at a college to watch my sister cheer. when we came home I was so excited to see him and then out of the blue he says we need to talk, he comes over and we talked and he said he needed a break for two weeks. I was a wreck. (still am) but the point is, he wouldn’t text me or anything and a week later I try to contact him and he just sai we are done. he never gave me a chance to fix anything and he just dropped me out of thin air. the next day I find out that he is already talking and liking another girl. we dated for 8 months and were perfect and out of the blue just wants to break up. I knew there was another girl but he said there wasnt. he was crazy about me and I was super crazy about him. you dot just break up with someone that you care about and love that much. I didn’t understand it. I was heart broken. I wanted to try and talk to him about it but he just doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.
    I’ve read through your blogs and I’ve seen about the whole no contact rule and I really wish I would of saw that earlier! and I was wondering maybe like you say his is a rebound girl? I’m really hoping! I never cheated on him or anything just a few little argument here and there. I tried to contact him after the break up and things just didn’t work. always hoping that he will realize it in a month or two. I really really miss him an I’ve been a absolute wreck. I haven’t done anything at all for awhile but my friends are here to give me support. he’s only 16 and I’m 18 you’re probably thinking why go so young for a guy? but I was 17 most of he time in the relationship. I would do anything to have him back. we were perfect in everyway. I’m hoping that he’ll realize that when he starts feeling lonely. then he might think about us? I don’t know hah!
    I was the first girl to be introduced to his father and step mother. he said that his dad thinks that he has changed through the time we’ve been dating. I
    feel that they had a very high expectation of me. I am quite new to relationships. he was my first time, first love and longest relationship. I really would do anything to get him back. if there is anything you want to tell me or refer to me to, be my guest! I’ll do anything! thanks again for reading!
    -Aly

    1. admin

      September 28, 2013 at 3:41 am

      Well, I can’t recommend my E-Book Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO enough (hint hint.)

      All kidding aside have you tried the NC rule yet?

    2. Alyson Erbach

      September 28, 2013 at 8:19 pm

      I just started the no contact rule, I started September 27th so yesturday!! but I’ll have to see how it plays out. he is talking with this other girl already and it just makes me lose hope. so maybe I I put this no contact rule into high drive, it’ll work!! I’ll come back to you in 30 days to get some more advice haha!!

    3. admin

      September 30, 2013 at 12:18 am

      I am always around 🙂

  7. Kay

    September 27, 2013 at 2:46 pm

    Hi,

    Thanks a lot for the article as I’ve found it to be very helpful and a big eye opener.

    I was dating this guy for about 4 months, things of coarse were great. He’s a personal trainer and a club promoter on the side. Him and I actually met in the gym. He also travels a few times a year to Miami to host his events and I went with him once. In the beginning I didn’t think much of what he did but knew that it would require a great deal of trust from me to deal with what he does in the long run. As my feelings started to grow for him, which I think might’ve been too soon, I started to feel uneasy when he went to his events and always wondered why he never invited me to the ones he hosted locally. He also wanted to keep our relationship on the “DL” at the gym where he worked. It made things very awkward because there were people who suspected we were dating and his manager who was jealous because I had rejected him when he had asked me out. His manager kept giving him a hard time at work until he finally fired him. I’m feeling so guilty because im thinking it’s because of me. Because when he broke up with me he told me that we should’ve nevet dated and that it was because of me that his manager kept acting up towards him and that I was too insecure to deal with what he does for a living because I started questioning him too much and I’m probably not right for him.. In the beginning this guy was so into me and he did warn me a few times throughout the relationship that I was being too much and to try to relax because I was pushing him away I heared him but I guess I didn’t LISTEN and was so blind.

    A day before his bday for some reason I thought he had a party planned and wasn’t planning on telling me and when I confronted him he said he wasn’t then I started just crying and got way too emotional which really shocked him, he didn’t even know what to say or how to react so he finally asked me for space. WHICH I never gave him. I kept txting, txting, txting, drunk called him… But barely called him much. But txt ALOT for almost two weeks. After the 1st week of txting he said it was over, over txt, because I couldn’t even give him space. I even sent him 2 long emails. And was devastated about how he could break up with me through txt that I demanded he show me respect and talk to me in person and break up with me in my face because I was tired of the txting back and forth. I finally decided to show up at his place because I felt so disrespected. Which I know was wrong but I never went to beg for him back I just wanted respect abd then finally some closure because I had a lot of questions. Luckily he wasn’t home but his landlord saw me and told him and he was furious! I understand it was wrong and I never did anything like that ever in my life before and I’m super disappointed in myself as I made myself look crazy, desperate and probably destroyed every chance I’ve had of him taking me back. Finally took a chance and sent him one final txt asking “how do I clean up the mess I made” and he called me telling me calmly that what I’m doing needs to stop and then he asked me where I was, I’m assuming to make sure im not gonna pop up at his place again, which that’s something I would NEVER EVER do again. And he also left off by saying that he wants to be alone right now and by doing what im doing is turning him off more and more then we both told eachother to take care and that was that. I feel horrible abd hate how I reacted towards this whole situation. I’ve been reading a lot of self help books because I was in a really bad relatiomship before him n I feel like I might’ve carried a lot of baggage over that I know contributed to the relationship messing up and me being so paranoid of losing him. I even think I grew so much feelings for him too soon. I just miss him too much righ now but I haven’t contacted him in 4 days now and that’s good because I was txting him for 2 weeks straight! I’m so ashamed of myself because that behavior is not like me. I never felt so weak like this.

    My question is after what you have seen here do you think this guy could ever take me back after my reaction and looking so crazy? I’m definitely gonna follow your NC rule for 30 days to attempt reaching out to him again. But the thought of being rejected again terrifies me.I’m old fashioned and have a lot of pride. I don’t believe in chasing a guy. But I know I chased him away and I wanna fix it this and win him back. He was really good to me and was really into me and I really like him alot and miss him so much.

    1. admin

      September 28, 2013 at 3:07 am

      Well, I have some advice for you. Work to make sure that if you get rejected again it won’t affect you so much. I am not saying that you will get rejected (don’t take it the wrong way.) But your statement of “being rejected terrifies me.” tells me that you may have some work to do in acheiving a:

      I want him back but I don’t need him back type of a mindset.

    2. Kay

      September 28, 2013 at 4:14 am

      Thank you! And yes! I’m definitely aware of the fact that I have a lot of work to do on me for sure… But as a guy would you ever consider after a woman does what I did?

    3. admin

      September 29, 2013 at 11:26 pm

      I think everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves another chance.

  8. Kat

    September 24, 2013 at 9:24 pm

    Chris,
    My bf and I had been together for 3 years and we had lived together. We have a 10 year age difference, I being older. Things started getting rough for us and we were fighting a lot. We decided that he would get a place on his own but remain together. Things went further down hill after he left and we broke up the following week. We agreed to be friends and he was going to focus on him. He sees a future for us but it just can’t be now. Things have gone up and down until he finally admitted to confiding in another girl and she was helping him by being a friend. I made mistakes but told him he needs to explore and figure out what he wants. He does not want to lose contact with me and feels that if we remain friends while he figures things out we will be good. We had both agreed to see other people and now he is in a relationship 5 weeks after moving out. I do not contact him however he has been contacting me mostly everyday. He couldn’t last 1/2 day with me not responding before showing up to my house. I am good not contacting him but I know he will contact me and to avoid him freaking out again do I only respond to him? Obviously I will remain positive and keep emotions out of the response but I know he will continue to contact me. If he does go days then I can carry on with the NC. My main question is during this time do I only respond if he reaches out?

    Thank you for your help!

    1. admin

      September 25, 2013 at 1:23 am

      No you actually aren’t supposed to respond at all.

  9. Lola

    September 23, 2013 at 11:12 pm

    Hello,

    My “ex-boyfriend” and I (I use that term lightly because we were never officially) were on and off for about a year. We fought every now and then and we would stop talking for a while and I would always end up crawling back to him and we would just pick up where we left off. Towards the end of our relationship things were awesome, we were the best we had ever been. Although in the back of my mind I could never get rid of the thought that he hadn’t made me his official girlfriend. When I brought it up we ended up getting into a blow out fight because he said he was not going to put the boyfriend girlfriend label on us because his parents went through a harsh divorce and didn’t want to go through that. And me being the stubborn person I am got really upset and told him I don’t think things could work because I have been waiting a year for this and he’s still not ready to commit. At first he told me that he tries really hard to be everything for me and doesn’t want me to leave him. So I stuck around for a little but could not help but bring up that subject again and I was pretty forceful about it. Finally he told me we need time apart. After a couple weeks I texted him to see where his head was at (I was pretty desperate and sad, it showed when I texted him) and he said he wanted to take me to dinner to talk. We went and ended up kissing a lot, and had a great dinner with casual conversation. At the end of the date on the way home, I finally sparked the conversation and said I wanted to work things out if he did, and his response was “I don’t think so, I don’t see a chance for us anymore. Lets be friends.” Which was pretty much a slap in the face. Heres the catch, we work together, see eachother five days a week. And its hard. Since that night, I have kept the NC rule outside of work for about a month now. Its pretty inevitable that I have to talk to him at work, it’s impossible not to. One of our mutual friends said that he claimed this was his final decision and he doesn’t think he will change his mind. Although, some days at work he will hug and constantly touch me, and always want my attention by talking to me a lot and other days he won’t say two words to me. I’m really confused on what to do from here on out…..

    1. admin

      September 24, 2013 at 3:03 am

      Looks like you need to work on getting him to feel something for you again. romantic feelings I mean.

      You can pick up my E-Book for that or you can just read some of the posts on the site.

  10. joanne

    September 23, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    I believe the no contact rule 30 days will work for some but different circumstances could fail for eg.if the ex has moved interstate and no contact rule comes in place he could meet someone else and you would not know and in that that 30 day period damage could be done,he may think you have moved on by no contact!

  11. Babycakes

    September 23, 2013 at 3:41 am

    So I broke up with my ex because he was liking a girls picture on Instagram and I went off on him telling him stuff he said it was better for us to brake up and well the next day when I got off work I was like well I’m sorry I over reacted lets just keep it as friends and see what happens later on and he was like yeah I like that idea and I was like do you still love me and he was like I do so I didn’t reply this was a Monday we didn’t txt all week and he txt me during the weekend to go with him to the mall so idid and once I got home I was like I miss holding his hand or kissing him good bye and I told him I miss us I miss holding your hand kissing you let’s try it one more time and he txt me saying that he had a lot going on I kept asking and asking he got mad and said no the feeling ain’t there and I was like okay? You told me on Monday that you love me now your telling me the feeling ain’t there I didn’t reply I didn’t talk to him got some days and I had some personal problem going on idk who to talk to so I txt him and he called me right away and talked and helped me out the next week I accidentally left the car keys inside my car and I was like grate the only one I know that knows how to do that is him so I asked him do you know if anther car with the same brand of mine can open mine there was a car exactly like mine parked there and he was like no why and I was like because I left the keys inside my car and he was like no worries were are you at I was he was 45 mins away an he was like oh idc I’ll go help you and when he went over he looked mad he left once he opened it and I sent him a txt saying thank you then we didn’t talk for a week I txt him happy bday since it was his bday a week later and he said thanks and had a conversation got a bit then we stopped I got in a car accident and he found out and and he was like how are you and I was like good it’s just the car and he was like idc about the at I care about youlets hang out I want to see how you are so we hanged out and he was like OMG I miss you I miss you so much he was just giving me and hugging me and was like I miss your kisses your hugs I miss you and I stained quiet and he was like but idk if i want a gf right now I’m going through some stuff so I was like oh same here.. And he was like oh so were just friends and I was like I guess and he was like I love you and I didn’t say anything and he continued to say it and he was like you don’t love me anymore and I didn’t say anything his eyes got kinda watery and I was yeah so he hugged me then too me home txt then went to sleep he txt me the next day and the next day just normal as friends and then something was wrong with his car and he was like I’m going to sleep I don’t want to talk to anybody right now I’m mad so I didn’t txt the next day was my bday he didn’t txt me at all from there I went out with some friend and had fun the next day I ended up in the hospital because while I was with a fiend I fainted my fiend she freaked out and took me there and she accidentally snap chatted him and he txt me right away saying what was wrong we talks then he was like oh ima go see you tomorrow when your home and he talked for he the next day we talked and then I said I’m sorry but I’m just wondering what happened with you you changed (he was always afraid of loosing me) and ident him a “”love cover letter” he ignored me and didn’t go visit me that day I haven’t txt him got over 3 weeks almost 4 Already I’m doing the Nc rule and he keeps shap chatting me but I don’t respond I’m just like why does he keep snap chatting me why doesn’t he just msg me. It’s just something about him that I want to make things work out we had an awesome connection I’m just like what happened did all this problems change him or what’s going on will we get back together does he just need some Space for now does he miss me like I do

    1. admin

      September 24, 2013 at 2:20 am

      The fact that he is constantly snap chatting you should tell you that he does still miss you hahaha.

    2. Babycakes

      September 24, 2013 at 5:45 am

      What do you think I should do txt him or just wait for him to actually send me a txt msg or a call not a snap chat

    3. admin

      September 25, 2013 at 12:35 am

      After 30 days Text him exactly like I suggest in Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

    4. Babycakes

      October 6, 2013 at 2:24 am

      I did that and we were txt for a while and he said he wanted to come over later on the week and then the next day he was like let’s go for a walk so I said okay we went for a walk and I didn’t want to bring us in the conversation and I used his phone to take pictures of some deer that we saw since my camera doesn’t take good pictures at night an once I got home I txt him send me the pics and he didn’t reply this was on Monday he finally txt me back on wensday saying sort I been busy with school and workand I said it’s okay thanks he didn’t reply back so since it was late at night I was like good night and I got on my fb and saw that he was online earlier i was like his busy but had time to get on his Facebook and he hasn’t txt me since them idk if I should txt him or wait for him

    5. admin

      October 6, 2013 at 11:52 pm

      I vote text him. But wait a few days before you do so.

  12. Aly

    September 19, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    Hey Chris!

    I have been trying out this nc rule.. Its only been 4 days but i am curious as to why he hasn’t asked me to come get my stuff. We were together for 4 years and we just bought two lizards together but he hasn’t text me about anything.. Right after he dumped me i of course begged for him to think about this and he didn’t even want to meet me in person and that “his mind was made up” this is the 4th time we’ve broken up now.. each time its the same. Should I continue not messaging him? And what if he messages me about getting my things, am I able to break the nc rule then?

    Thanks 🙂

    1. joanne

      September 23, 2013 at 2:09 pm

      Ally I would give it 2 weeks its only early days and maybe he hasn’t got his stuff because his still thinking what he wants if you pressure him
      it will turn him away,at least he knows he has an option,if u care leave it for a couple of weeks

    2. admin

      September 20, 2013 at 7:01 pm

      Yes, you are allowed to break NC to get your things.

      As for why he hasn’t contacted you maybe he is just to hurt to talk to you.

  13. Rachel

    September 17, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    I’ve definitely broken the no contact rule MANY times and he definitely sees me as being crazy at this point. I tried ti ignore him for a week and then eventually messaged him saying something like “I’m starting to see things more clearly and that I should think about what i truly want”..but then ended up saying some crazy-ish things again

    I guess my question is…is there a good way to END your text messages before your truly ignore him for 30 days or whatever? Is it good for him to still think you love him before you ignore him, or better to leave it as more of an “f-you” response?

    1. admin

      September 18, 2013 at 3:06 am

      It is not good to leave things on F-You. If that is how you left things though I would maybe try one last conversation to patch things up and then enter NC.

    2. Rachel

      September 17, 2013 at 10:30 pm

      Note that the reason we broke up is because I moved across the country. We had stayed in really close touch for a few months but then he recently said I was just contacting him way too much and eventually my intensity freaked him out and he said he didnt want to talk anymore at all.

    3. admin

      September 18, 2013 at 3:08 am

      Well, that has happened to me and it is a turnoff honestly. But that means you know exactly what to do. BE the opposite of that.

  14. lost girl

    September 16, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    hey chris so as i read ur site and im hoping your advice would work for me, before i go on i would like to add my ex and i come from the africa yet live in different places but study in turkey at the same university where we met,right now we on summer break and back in our country, u said to be the ‘ungettable’ girl, to my ex i was that, i acted unintrested and he did things to get my attention ,i caved in and so we dated and it was nice unfortunately it went downhill and we mutually broke up ,i still had feelings for him though and i know he did aswell , i jus want to say after the break up he had a rebound girl which i wasn happy bout at all eventhough he told me that it was casual i still was upset and when he was with her he never took his eyes off me and being the emotional ,hurt and confused girl i did the stupidest thing…i kept texting him saying that i hated him and never wanting be with him and so forth and a few days later apologising saying i know we broke up and he isnt a jerk ,and from your site i realised i looked desperate and pathetic I’m ashamed to say this but it got to a point where he told me to please stop talking to him and he’s tired of me telling him that i hate him and then apologising and i haven’t spoken to him since then ,this happened when we left for our summer break in june, so i have had NC with him at all for almost 3 months , and ive been spending more time on myself and stuff , i want him to want me the way he did before , im following ur NC rule ,but what bugs me is that i looked desperate and pathetic and i would like to know if his view can change and if so, how ? we both going back to study in less than a month, and i would like to have him back , i know it won’t happen in a day or month , but the circumstances that i am in , isit possible or should i give up ?

    1. admin

      September 17, 2013 at 1:46 am

  15. Becca

    September 16, 2013 at 1:33 am

    Need advice: I found out my ex went to greenbay for a football game one he had asked me to go with him because his friend from grad school had tickets and she was going to give them to us to go. He said it was up to me at the time and has said that he wasn’t going to go with out me. I said no because the tickets were too much money for me at the time so he said to not worry about it and we weren’t going to go. Then a couple weeks after this conversation we broke up. Then today I find out that he went up there anyways to the game and she also went. Does this mean something like he did it to prove a point or did he just really want to go? Its like he wanted me to know it seems like. I don’t know.

    1. admin

      September 16, 2013 at 5:27 am

      If I had tickets I would have went even though I live in texas haha.

      So, I vote that he just really wanted to go.

  16. Sara

    September 13, 2013 at 12:08 am

    I broke up with my ex last November. We were together for two years and even though we really loved each other our relationship had many problems. He was extremely jealous and possessive. Two years before we started dating I had had a one night stand with a guy that my boyfriend completely disapproved of. Shortly after we started dating he kept bringing up how I had been with that guy and how much it bothered him that the girl he loved so much could have ever been with a guy like that. He even broke up with me several times because he just “couldn’t take it.” I always begged him to take me back while at the same time I didn’t understand why it was a big problem, considering it happened two years earlier and I was no longer in touch with that guy. I began resenting my boyfriend for making me feel like I was dirty and disgusting but I loved him so much that I tried to make the relationship work. My boyfriend would also go through my phone and he was upset when I wore certain outfits such as a short skirt or a bikini. One time he accused me of cheating on him with one of my best guy friends simply because I had deleted some text messages from that guy out of my phone because I knew my boyfriend went through my phone and I also knew that he would misinterpret the messages if he saw them even though they were just me asking my friend to hang out. Little did I know that he had already seen the messages and then went back into my phone and saw that I deleted them. I had to bring him my friends cell phone to reassure him that all of the text messages between us were harmless. He broke up with me that time too but I did everything I could to prove that my friend was just a friend and he took me back. After the first year of our relationship I realized how many sacrifices I was making to make this relationship work. I had no friends, no self-esteem, and I wasn’t myself anymore. From then on everything changed. I gained control of the relationship and he realized that if he didn’t change he would lose me. He finally began to change but I was over it. I made some new friends but I didn’t invite him out because I was afraid that he would embarrass me. He is an antisocial guy and whenever I had invited him out in the past he didn’t enjoy himself and barely spoke to anyone. Eventually I started a new job and I met a guy that was everything my boyfriend wasn’t; outgoing, funny, didn’t care what a girl wore when she went out. I fell for this guy and I dumped my boyfriend. My boyfriend was devastated. He tried everything to get me back. He called me every day, he emailed me a love letter, texted me, brought me gifts. I remained cold. I still responded to his calls and texts because I still loved him but then one day we met up a month after out break up and got in a huge fight. He accused me of cheating on him, yelled insults at me and I stormed off. This was the last time I saw him. After that he sent a couple more e-mails and then we didn’t speak for a while. I finally texted him in April and he texted me back a few days later. We had a friendly conversation and I suggested we meet up some time but he said that his new girlfriend would not be ok with that. I asked if I knew her and he said I did but he wouldn’t tell me who it was. He did tell me he missed me however. One month later I saw on his facebook that the girl he is now dating is my ex best friend whom he had also been friends with in the past. I freaked out and texted him. I said mean things about her but I didn’t insult him. Eventually the conversation ended somewhat friendly. At that time I did not yet want my ex back so I just kept on living my life. However in the past few weeks I have started really missing my boyfriend to the point of where it is unbearable. Things with my new guy are not going that well and I miss the closeness me and my ex had. I miss how he looked at me and how much he loved me. I sent him a text saying that I felt bad about our last conversation and asked how he was doing. No response. Later that night I sent him another text saying that I understood that he wasn’t responding because he is a loyal boyfriend and I know his current gf is not okay with us seeing each other considering our past. I also asked if the facebook messages he sent me in the past were still valid. In those he had said that he would always fight for me and I could always call him. Stupid to bring those up I know now but some wine will do that to you. I also said I really wanted to see him. Still no response. A couple of days later I sent one final text saying that I was sorry for texting him and that he is clearly happy now so that makes me happy for him. I said that I am sorry for everything and that if he can ever hang out in the future he should let me know. He didn’t respond to that one either. Then the other day I drove past his work on the bus on my way to work and I saw him outside for the first time in 9 months. He didn’t see me. I felt all of the old feelings coming back and now all I want is to be back with him. I know I sound crazy given some of the things he did to me but I know that towards the end of our relationship he had changed towards the better but I was just too over it to see it back then. The girl he is dating now (my ex best friend) is everything that he claims not to like in a girl; she wears tiny outfits, has many guy friends, he always said he did not find her physically attractive, she is an ex drug addict. I don’t understand how he is ok with all of this when he wasn’t in the past and I couldn’t have any guy friends when I was with him. She is the second girl he has dated since our break up. He had one other relationship that lasted a couple of months. Basically when I dumped him he went out trying to desperately find a new girl immediately. I am now wondering why he is with my ex best friend when she is so opposite of everything he wants in a girl and if this could be a rebound or if he actually really likes her. I want to know why he isn’t responding to me. I don’t know how to see him and have him see me without going past his old work and looking like a creepy stalker. I think that if he saw me his feelings for me would maybe come back. Sometimes since our break up he would take a few days to respond but the first text that I sent this time was almost a week ago and I don’t think he is going to respond this time. I know you are going to think this guy is not good for me but like I said he has changed and I know I made many mistakes too. Overall he really was a good guy who was just really insecure. What can I do now to get him back? I have never felt like this about anyone and I know he has not either. He told me this many times and anyone could see it. Please help me.

    1. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 4:18 am

      Your right, I do think this guy is not good for you hahaha.

      Nevertheless, I am not here to judge. Have you started your NC period yet?

    2. Sara

      September 13, 2013 at 7:52 pm

      We havent spoken since May and a week ago was the first time since then that I tried to initiate contact. But he still hasnt responded.

    3. admin

      September 15, 2013 at 12:55 am

      Ok, well then I want you to wait two weeks and reach out again. You need to make sure your text is very interseting.

    4. Sara

      September 15, 2013 at 2:54 am

      what would be an example of something very interesting that would make him want to respond?

    5. admin

      September 16, 2013 at 3:43 am

      You might want to check out the texting examples on this site I have a few good ones. BUT if you really want the best ones you will have to get the E-Book for them.

  17. Serenity

    September 12, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    Hi chris. So im in a bit of a crisis here… Me and my ex were together for 1.5yrs, he broke it off 3x before but always came back within a week or so. Hes showing some signs of fleeing whenever we hit a mostly financial bump (at least the last 2 times). All times i started ‘the talk’ cuz i felt things were going downhill and i wanted to talk about it before we eventually broke up.. Which he used as ‘ok fine lets break up then, i dont think we fit that well together’. So anyway this time he again moved out and we had a pre-set date a few days later which we both wanted to follow up on (honestly it was just a movie thing we do regularly but ok). Soooo i ended up sleeping with him again and the next morning he tells me hes still rly sure about the breakup, that he doesnt think our personalities match even tho hes been the one always trying to convince me we are a match made in heaven personality wise and that he thinks its best if we have nc for awhile since we dont seem to be able to trust eachother etc. A few days later i find more of his stuff and some paperwork and documents so i txted him to send me his new address (i know the streetname bur not sure which # . I do know which house it is btw so if i wanted to pass by his house i could anyway) so i can mail his stuff. This has been almost a week ago and nothing… Now what do i do? Still nc and wait if hes gonna reply like eventually?

    1. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 4:04 am

      Is his stuff really important?

      If it is I would break NC and give it to him. If not, then he doesn’t deserve your presence right now haha.

    2. Serenity

      September 13, 2013 at 4:45 am

      Its his drivers license lol.. So idk why hes so bloody stubborn about not replying to me

    3. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 6:07 pm

      Wow, what an idiot (no offense.)

      I would give it to him because that is important.

    4. Serenity

      September 14, 2013 at 5:28 pm

      Well he got in touch with me today and wants to come over for dinner next week.. So i said that thats fine, just not sure where to go from there

    5. admin

      September 15, 2013 at 1:45 am

      Well, now would be a good time to lay some cards on the table!

    6. Serenity

      September 13, 2013 at 5:30 am

      Also its HIS important stuff and i already reached out to him once to no avail.. Shouldnt he be the one worried about his stuff now? Since well.. Its not mine. I dont get what he tries to accomplish with this to be honest

  18. Nicole

    September 12, 2013 at 6:55 am

    It will be a month tomorrow of NC. My bf broke up with me after I found out he was cheating for 3 years on and off. He had no intention of telling me about it or breaking up with me…but then broke up with me after this came out…He blocked me from everything including cellphone but not facebook.
    He just took me on a big bday vacay right before I was hit with the news from the cheater herself.
    Why did he block me and break up with me if he had no intention of doing so before?

    1. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 3:40 am

      Maybe he is ashamed or scared that you might rip him a new one (which you have every right to.)

    2. Nicole

      September 13, 2013 at 6:18 am

      He told the girl he cheated on and off with that he wouldnt leave me for her. But after this came out he ended things. He said he has deep rooted issues and told people he wishes he met me later in life. What dies that mean?

    3. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 6:18 pm

      It means he is a total jerk and you probably shouldn’t want him back.

    4. Nicole

      September 15, 2013 at 5:35 am

      Do all guys cheat at 24? Was it my fault for being faithful and wanting to be in a monogamous relationship with him? Do you think he misses me at all?….we spent 5 yrs of our lives together…

    5. admin

      September 16, 2013 at 3:55 am

      I am 24 and have never cheated on anyone before.

      AND I don’t plan on it ever.

    6. Nicole

      September 12, 2013 at 6:56 am

      Do you think he will come back to me?

    7. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 3:42 am

      I wish I could give you a correct answer but the truth is I don’t know. All I can say is that doing the things on this site and in the E-Book will improve your chances!

  19. E

    September 10, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    Hi Chris…

    So I met the love of my life when we were both 19. We were best friends and I feel like he is the best and only man for me. We dated on and off for 4 years, (he is about to turn 25). We were engaged at one point and there is no denying how much I know we loved each other. Unfortunately, I think we were too immature to properly handle our feelings for one another. We drank and fought a lot but we were so passionate we always ended up getting back together the next day. But one day I suspected him of cheating on me (because a girl left a note on his car, and he had cheated in the past) so I broke up w him and left him for a boy I just met. He begged and pleaded and even threatened suicide and went as far as physically assaulting my new bf but I wouldnt take him back. I was mad at him for cheating on me and I had someone there to keep me from being lonely, so why would I right? Wrong, because I should have taken time alone and figured out my real feelings. After almost a year w my new bf, I broke down and tried reaching out to the one that got away but when he found out I was still w the replacement bf at that time he cut me off and told me he had a new gf himself anyway. So I broke up w the replacement boyfriend and tried again, but all he would do was see my physically and for physical reasons only if you know what I mean and made that 100 percent clear. It hurt me but I thought if I could be around him he would fall back in love w me. He didnt. After about 6 months of the physical love only deal we had going on I broke down and cried and told him to leave her and he told me he couldnt see me anymore. I have not contacted him in almost a year but I still love him and know he is the only one for me and vice versa. It hurts me to think of him without me, and it hurts me to think of another woman in my place. During all of our fighting he blocked my phone numer, email, facebook… everything. and I dont know where he lives because he has moved in w his old lady. (did i mention his old lady is his 37 year old boss and sugar mama)? I know this is a lot of information to soak in but I am so lost. I moved out of the city we lived in together that he now lives w his old lady and I think he would be very surprised to see how I have turned my life around and grown, but I dont know how I would ever get the opportunity to show him… I’ve done the NC rule (even if by default) for almost a year… except one time I tried messaging him from my friends facebook and he didnt respond just blocked her. I was going to write a note on a birthday card and send it to his address where we used to live together w his mother… but idk im out of ideas. I know he isnt in love w this lady I have seen the things he says to his friends about her. PLEASE HELP.

    E

    1. admin

      September 11, 2013 at 2:30 am

      Do you have his number?

      I think the smartest approach would be to text him the correct way.

    2. E

      September 11, 2013 at 7:38 pm

      he changed his phone number and blocked his facebook/email the last time we had an argument, almost a year ago… i could easily get his number from a mutual friend but i wanted to respect him so I have done the no-contact rule ever since.

    3. admin

      September 12, 2013 at 3:44 am

      Wow, so you are in the dark here. Well, don’t text him out of nowhere that might be creepy. You need to find a way to get in contact with him without it seeming creepy.

    4. E

      September 12, 2013 at 2:25 pm

      I have no idea how 🙁
      my friends tell me when he breaks up with his old lady he will seek me out… so I just wait.

    5. admin

      September 13, 2013 at 3:51 am

      Your friend may be right.

  20. Becca

    September 10, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    My ex broke up with me because he said he wasn’t sure if he felt a connection to me anymore are that there was a spark. I have been in NC for 3 1/2 weeks but he has also not contacted me either what does that mean? I was his longest relationship of almost 9 months and we were starting to talk about a future then he broke up with me out of the blue. I knew we had some off moments but most couples do and though everything was fine because of how he was normally acting with me. Also, we have known each other for years and finally took our friendship to more. Even his best friends think he made a mistake and are trying to reason with him. Any advice on my issue as I am still so confused as to what happened.

    1. admin

      September 11, 2013 at 2:27 am

      It means he is probably reallly stubborn.

      Try not to sweat it you are going to contact him after your 30 days are up anyways.

    2. Becca

      September 11, 2013 at 5:23 pm

      Thanks! I just really want him back and hope he realizes that he made a mistake.

    3. admin

      September 12, 2013 at 3:30 am

      If he doesn’t realize it make him regret it!

      That’s the attitude I would have.

    4. Becca

      September 11, 2013 at 11:34 pm

      Trying to understand the male mind, What does it mean when he is not sure if there is a connection anymore/spark and that the relationship felt flat on his end? To me it is not a real reason to break up when we loved each other.

    5. admin

      September 12, 2013 at 4:02 am

      I would say it means you aren’t giving him something he needs when he knows you are capable or thinks you were capable.

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