Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

vicky

January 27, 2014 at 11:50 am

my guy had a lady that both famlies are aware off,but he asked me to give him some time to get rid of her.i love him desperately but i relised i should let them be.i made him soo angry when i broke up with him that he dont even answer my calls,it about three weeks now i have not set my eyes on him i still love him how do i get him back
Dani

January 24, 2014 at 7:10 am

Me and my ex met up almost four days ago, for the first time since we broke up which was a year ago exactly. He broke up with me and also initiated meeting up. I admit in the beginning, just after he broke up with me, I sent sooo many texts, tried calling him up etc etc. arghhh its so humiliating thinking about it!!

Anyway, our “date” thingy as friends was ok. We had fun, it was slightly awkward but it got a lot better as we re-discovered our similarities. So he hasn’t contacted me since then and I haven’t contacted him either, I don’t know what I should do/what’s happening. He told me I seemed different, (I didn’t laugh as much, was more distant and very secretive.) do you think he is disappoined by these changes? He was going on about how he had become a better person. Maybe I was “too quiet” for his brand new happy/positive outlook on life.

I think I really want to be friends because we used to be best friends and then if anything progresses, go with it. What is going on??

admin

January 24, 2014 at 6:28 pm

Describe what you mean by being “too quiet?”

anonymous

January 24, 2014 at 5:41 am

I still see my exboyfriend ard my work place occasionally. I’ll come up and say hi and tried to make small talk with him. If its just the both of us, He look like in a hurry to rush off somewhere seems not that interested to talk to me.
When with a small grp of our other colleagues, he’d ignore me. He does however stand beside, pretty close to me. He’d looked at me coldly (like i’m a nobody to him) but i’d catch him sneaking glances at me.
But he doesn make any physical contact. We have been texting casually. Mostly me asking him qns like how was his day etc. He’d give neutral replies. Its hard to hooked him in a convo.

I’ve asked him out for coffee after work and he’d decline.

Why is that so? Does that mean he has no more feelings towards me? Im so afraid if i’ve been friendzoned. 🙁

admin

January 24, 2014 at 6:25 pm

Wait, he declined to go out for Coffee? How did he decline you exactly?
anonymous

January 24, 2014 at 9:52 pm

He will just not reply my msg. Or he will say no. Or for example if i ask him out for coffee at 5pm, he will say he will confirm with me later. 5pm plus comes along, he’d text me saying he needs to rush off somewhere etc.

But if i ask him qns about other things like how was his day etc. He will reply me.
anonymous

January 25, 2014 at 12:56 am

last year end dec, our last proper meetup, he made lots of physical contact with me and even tried to kiss me. But during that meetup, he kept insisting that he’s not ready for commitment etc. The most recent meetup in early jan, he was tired from soccer. And we fought. Well, mainly its him insisting that i should date other men and not hope for him. That meetup, no physical contact.

After that meetup, i tried the friendzone tactic on him. Asking him his opinion on other men.

And thats it. I’ve tried asking him for lunch or coffee since the last meetup, every wk or whenever i’m free. He seems to want to take his time to consider until the very last min. Sometimes he gives a blunt no. Sometimes he’d say “eh i thought u have a new man?” Through text. Sometimes he asked me out and at the very last min, he’d cancel on me.

I dont understand how he went from hot (late dec) to cold (currently) its only been a mth. If i bumped into him at work, he will really stare at me. Like what i mentioned earlier.

Can u give me your insight on this? Why is he behaving as such. I’m really confused.
anonymous

January 24, 2014 at 10:15 pm

So does he no longer have feelings for me? If no, why does he stare long at me that way? What can i do to increase my chances of getting back with him?
anonymous

January 24, 2014 at 5:49 am

Once, i was crossing the road. And i saw him at the traffic light junction (he rides motorcycle) i ignore him and look away. But he seems to really stare at me and when i look at him, he’d hold his gaze for a few secs until i looked away. What does his body language says? He definitely recognised it was me, we werent that far away.
anonymous

January 24, 2014 at 6:08 am

And this particular body language is quite common actually. When i see him across the room at work. When we’re both ard different cliques of people. He’d stare long and hard at me. I’ll look at him and look away. Cause i get uncomfortable. if we locked eyes for so long. Hahaha. At times, my colleagues will point out to me that they notice him staring at me.

But he just seems so cold towards me sometimes. Not replying my msgs. I’ve not turned into a text gnat. Usually if i send him another msg after a few hrs, he’d reply eventually. I dont know what is going on in his head. Is he no longer interested in me? 🙁

Jess

January 24, 2014 at 5:09 am

The guy I was dating for 4 months has been a lil distant lately with less texts and delayed responses and less hanging out. Today he called and told me that he wants a break (indefinite basically) because he’s too stressed at work and not happy with how things in his life and career are. He’s told me he has to focus on himself and be selfish for now because he’s not ready to have a relationship he can’t put his all into and our dating was leading to that (albeit with a few bumps). He said he still cares/wants to keep in touch and maybe in the future we can reconnect. He’s told me things that he doesnt share with other people so I don’t understand why he wouldnt want me around to help him through his career issues now, but he insists he wants to do it alone. why- is this a guy thing? Also, His birthday is soon. Should I txt him happy birthday? Do I have to do NC for a month if I want him back?

admin

January 24, 2014 at 6:24 pm

Usually you do have to do NC. However, the final decision is ulitmately up to you.

T'Niya

January 23, 2014 at 5:19 pm

So I grew up with my ex around our neighborhood and he was in jail for 4 years while I went away to College. When he came back I gave him some encouraging words about starting his life over and going for his dreams and goals. A year later he decided he wanted to date me and we ended up going steady. Three girls came into the picture telling me how he moves around fast and how he’s not a good guy but I ignored it until he started to change on me. The things he did to get me he was no longer doing for me anymore. He started to treat me as if he didn’t care whether I left or not. This past weekend on the 11th he told me he was sick and didn’t want to see me because he wanted his mom to take care of him. Some people came in and were cleaning out he apartment building “he claimed” so they went to his grandmother house and he ended up at the club that Saturday night and didn’t come in until 5 in the morning which was why he wasn’t picking up my calls and i knew nothing of it. I don’t care if he goes to the club i just wish he would have told me so the next day i wouldn’t have been wondering why he wasn’t picking up for me but he told me he didn’t want to see me because he was sick but apparently not sick enough to miss a night out with his brothers at the club. I ended up falling asleep early that night and decided to call him that morning before I went to work, no answer …. then i waited until i got off work … still no answer. then i called when i got home from work … still no answer. So i got furious and said I’m not calling anymore! I can’t go through this again! It’s over! because in the past i got these same signs from other men and didn’t want to go through the pain again. Even after i texted him “it’s over” he still never contacted me. My intuition told me something happened that Saturday night. He could have told me he was going to the club but he didn’t. So i posted a Facebook status claiming my breakthrough and how there were signs showing i didn’t need that in my life in the first place it just took me a while to find them. So THAT’S when he decided to contact me, three days after the incident all because of a facebook status. We talked and then he turned the situation on me saying that because i said it was over then it was over. I was heart broken because i really didn’t want it to be over it was out of anger and i thought he was done with me because he wasn’t picking up. Then after that Tuesday i talked to him that Wed. and he told me the same thing, how he wasn’t going to get over the fact of me saying it was over … after he decided to lie to me. I didn’t find out he went to the club until the Tuesday he called to argue with me and he went Saturday. So now I’m wishing I never said it was over and what i said on Facebook might have been over the top but i just want to know if i try again will he ever come back to me? Or should i just not talk to him anymore and just let it be. Will he ever try to be with me again? What should i do? Since Wed. he’s been ignoring my text (yes i am guilty) he’s been ignoring my calls and doesn’t want anything to do with me. What should I do to get him back? Through all of this I still want him back. From the beginning I’ve had altercations (not arguments) on FB with women over him and how he did them bogus because I was in the picture and all of them say that he moves fast and that he’s a liar but i still want him. What should I do?
Haley

January 23, 2014 at 6:43 am

I’m not one to normally do this…ever but me and my ex were in a long distance relationship over a year ago. We ended up growing apart and breaking up because of the whole distance thing and arguing. We, we ended up getting back together last September. We had both grown quite a bit and it was going so good. We went to Mexico together in November and made plans for me to move up North with him before Thanksgiving. Well, I came back home after the trip and things were fine but then he starte going out all the time and one night he lied about it. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him cause I do, I really don’t know why I got so upset but I did. I think it was more so that I just wanted to be there with him. He continuously reassured me that I was the girl he loved and everything would work out but after that night he kept partying and drinking(it was his vacation time from work). The fighting just became worse and I became needy for his attention. Called an texted constantly nagging him. We broke up, I broke it off with him. We tried to work it out multiple times in December but didn’t work. Well now it’s January and I decided to not contact him for a week. I sent him a text after that week telling him I missed him and I hoped he was ok. Hours later he called 3 times then texted multiple times. I was busy so I didn’t answer or respond until the next morning. He texted me that morning and said, “I called you” and I replied and told him “I saw where he had called.” He replied with a “whatever” then continued ignoring me. Today he sent a text saying he loves me. Now I know this should be good news or whatever but it just really pissed me off. Just 2 weeks ago he had told me he didn’t love me and now he does? I know he cares but I’m just tired of the never ending games and I’m tired if the whole ignoring me thing. I care about Hume a lot so please give me some kind of advice on this. Like I said, I’m not one to normally do this but I’m at a loss.
emma

January 21, 2014 at 9:37 pm

i haven’t been in contact with my ex of three years. its been three months can i still get him back??

admin

January 22, 2014 at 5:39 pm

Ok, tell me your reasoning why you want him back?

elisha

January 21, 2014 at 6:00 am

My ex and I had long distance relationship for 6 months. During that time we argued alot mostly due to my insecurities and not being able to be with him the way I would if he lived closer. At the beginning he would pretty much beg me not to end things when I got fed up and even cried on a few occasions. The last argument he stated he was fed up with the break up to make up stuff and we weren’t going to work. So few days ago I told him fine i will delete his number and not text. He in the past would have put up some fight about that but this time it was like it okay if you email me from time to time. So we were back emailing like normal and I figured since it was my idea to stop texting that he wouldn’t mind me texting again. I text and no response. Yet he’d respond to emails. So today I emailed him a final kiss off and he said I don’t mind you emailing but not trying to keep the texting going anymore. I’m just confused now. We vowed to always stay in each other life no matter who ended it. When he’d cry in the beginning stages I always comforted him it’d be alright but now he knows this is killing me and still feels like I will get over it. How can you say you love someone and cut them from your life like that so easily. I honestly don’t even think he is the least bit sad about losing me. The fight we had to day confirms that. So I wondering do you think he’ll ever want to be in my life again in any capacity? He said he is just fed up with my arguing and negativity and never seeing anything he does as right. Totally blaming me for the entire demise.
daniella

January 20, 2014 at 12:29 am

Im in a Nc rule period, and he doesnt text me as well, is there a chance of getting back together?

admin

January 20, 2014 at 7:11 pm

Sure there is. Remember, this can take time.
daniella

January 21, 2014 at 9:37 pm

Today, my ex’s bestfriend whom the only guy who used to be with us when we hang out, messaged me asking how is it going between me and my ex,, I told him we didnt talk anymore since the break up, and he seemed to be surprised about that.
I’m wondering could it be my ex who pushed him to talk to me? Or guys dont do that?
Abi Jaiy

January 29, 2014 at 7:12 am

Why would your ex tells a guy to message you that? Please girl. Keep doing the NC rule youre thinking too much about him doing this and that. Keep yourself busy.

Gege

January 19, 2014 at 11:37 pm

Hi,

So my ex and I have broken up in June and told me to not contact him anymore. Later in November, he contacted me first by wishing me a Happy Birthday. After that, I have been trying to contact him but have been getting short replies like okay. or nice. After that I have been asking him how he was last week and he never responded back since then. I’ve waited more than 30 days, but should I wait again? What should I do? I know his birthday is coming up this coming week, should I or should I not wish him a happy birthday?

admin

January 20, 2014 at 7:10 pm

I wouldn’t

Gemma

January 19, 2014 at 8:15 pm

My bf and I were together about 6 months. When we spent time together it was great and we spent a lot of time together. However, he started working crazy hours and 7 days a week. I started seeing less of him and he would not call or text to see how I was. I had several conversations about this as I said it made me feel insecure about us and he promised that he would make more effort. This lasted a few days. I gave him several opportunities to walk away from the relationship but to end it amicably. He said he didn’t want that. It is rather confusing because I am more than happy to support him in his career and accept that due to him being shattered and the nature of his work that he gets in and sleeps and gets up and works etc etc therefore I am happy with seeing him 1-2 times a week. All I asked was for him to contact me. Anyway, he worked away and didn’t contact me for days. I ended it saying I wasn’t asking much and he obviously can’t give that. When he came back, I text and said I would like to be friends. He is ignoring me totally.. I don’t want to split but being together was upsetting as I need a little bit more security- last relationship was with father of my children 8 years ago and I was cheated on and lied to . I f I look at the situation as an outsider, it would seem that he wasn’t interested but why not just walk away? He’s not v experienced in relationships having only had one before and no real role models for how to behave in one. There is a 10 yr age gap he’s 22 and I’m 32. Any advice how to claw back a friendship as we can’t avoid seeing each other on weekends at his 2nd job? Also, was I unreasonable?
Kate

January 19, 2014 at 4:40 pm

If he is using no contact on you can you still get him back?

admin

January 19, 2014 at 5:49 pm

Yup

Sarah

January 19, 2014 at 10:09 am

Hi Chris,

Your advise is needed…I met this guy at work and we had amazing banter. We went out on a date and had an amazing time. It was cool for a few days after, then it all turned weird. I noticed the change on my last day at work, which was about 5days after our date. He did apologise after a week of no communication when I called. He said he was a bit scared off by my approach (I did babble on via text) and he was flying out early so could speak. I think on my last day I really wanted to tie in a second date before i left. Anyway during his time away I had written a text to send him when he arrives but didn’t need to send it as he contacted me on his return. So we exchanged a few texts and as I had moved to a different job still in the same area we said he said he’ll try and meet up but didn’t follow through. I did however send a ‘x’ in the middle of the werk and got no response. Theses were the kind exchange we were having in the beginning. Anyway he hasn’t communicated since then, and again ive texts explaining he has an impression of me and in me trying to change it I’ve been digging a bigger hole….anyway still no contact. I am so embarrassed as im alot older than him and have never been through a process like this. And I am not an unattractive woman so really baffled. As he’s acted like I’ve said lets start a relationship. Truth be known I want him as a sex buddy and Iif anything developed so be it. But truelly were cool..

Do you think he’ll contact?
he cheated and now he's ignoring me!

January 19, 2014 at 2:16 am

i catches him flirting with another women, i left him. he started to send me desperate msgs and beg me to answer him. i ignored him for only 1 day before i felt sorry for him and started to text him. He told me he wants to keep contact with me, it’s better than nothing! suddenly he ignored me now for 2 days. and i am so irritate that i started to send him a lot of msgs! what to do????

admin

January 20, 2014 at 12:43 am

Is all he did flirt with someone else?

Kerry

January 17, 2014 at 5:23 pm

Hi Chris

My situation is a strange one, after an absolutely wonderful relationship my ex broke up with me very unexpectedly because of health issues that he was experiencing. He felt that it was in my best interests for me to move on and not be ‘tied down’ to his issues. Do you think there is a chance that I could change his mind? His illness doesn’t bother me at all, and I feel like I can deal with whatever it may bring…your feedback is so greatly appreciated!

admin

January 20, 2014 at 12:14 am

Have you explained that his illness doesn’t bother you?
Kerry

January 22, 2014 at 8:48 am

Repeatedly when we had the breakup talk. He felt like I was looking after him more than he was taking care of me. So this is something that I would need to work on. I’m almost finished the NC period and still haven’t heard from him. I guess what I need to know is if I still have a chance to get him back even if he feels that the breakup is in MY best interests?

Lori

January 17, 2014 at 2:28 pm

My ex and I were together for 23 years, we have two grown children. He left just before Christmas without telling me. Since then I’ve been a mess. I’ve done the texting thing too much. He finally told me stop texting and calling that he’ll call me. I’m a mess over this, I’ve been with him since I was 16. I’m devastated and he’s living life. Please if you have any advice I’ll take it.

admin

January 20, 2014 at 12:12 am

23 YEARS

PROPS TO YOU!

I know things kind of suck right now but my goodness that is a long time.

Well, I usually recommend the no contact rule. Do you have any insight into why he left all of a sudden?

nicole

January 16, 2014 at 10:53 pm

So I am so distraught, things just ended with this amazing guy. We only dated for about a month, but it felt like we connected on every level and like he was the one. He had been chasing me to go out with him for about 8 months before I actually agreed to meet up with him in a random happenstance. We had SO much in common and it felt so natural. After about 2 weeks, he started becoming more distant and he said he was really busy at work for the next few months. I know I probably came on too strong and was thinking of how it felt so great and he seemed really into it up to a couple weeks ago. Then I told him we should just stop seeing each other since he was so busy — but I didn’t really want it to be the case. His last text was It’s Over, I guess my only question is do you think if I do the NC for 30+ days and try to contact him, he will get back to me?

admin

January 20, 2014 at 7:07 pm

I can’t gurantee success 100 percent but I think it can really help you.

ledya

January 16, 2014 at 3:24 pm

forgot to mention each time I was asking him if he is moving on after two or three days of ignoring me, he calls me back and say stop this nonosence, if I’m pulling out I promise I will tell you.
is he applying the NC Rule on me?
im getting crazy about this unjustifiable behaviour!

I’m in no contact for about 3 weeks

ritwika bose

January 17, 2014 at 4:31 am

HI.I want to say same is my condition.when am ignoring him he is sending me taunting text that why don’t I text him.whereas he doesn’t text me on own except tauntng txts.when I ask him can we patch up he ignores the texts.m confusd.will he come back?

ledya

January 16, 2014 at 3:05 pm

pleaaaaaaaase help
hi chris

I have a strange story you may want to hear.I was in love with a guy 15yrs older ( i’m 38)he’s married but wasn’t happy in his marriage( as he claimed)we’ve been dating for about one year once a month as we live in different countries.
but we’ve been talking every day and texting. About three months ago I started to sense something wrong.
he dissapeared for a couple of days, ignore my sms and calls, sometimes not even pay them back and I started to chase him instead of making him chase me.
when I asked him several times if he wanna move on he denied that completely and said it didn’t even cross his mind. I admit that that we had lot’s of argumennts about me being so jealous, and indeed i wasn’t like that at the begging of the relation, cuz I used to trust him but as we got used to each other he started to talk about women who flirt with him and he flirts with them, and he said it’s only comments I only love you & want you.
one month ago he dissapeared and I turned into Gnat asking him if he’s moving on or what’s going on in his mind, he didn’t reply me .
after one week of this incident I decided not to contact him to save my dignity. he didn’t show up since then and I don’t know really what is going on? is he a player and was cheating on me all the time and when got bored left? doesn’t he have the courage to say it’s over?

I really don’t know what to do, very confused.
can I have your opinion ? can I still have him back as he was assuring me everytime that he adores me ? by the way he’s sooooooooo narcisstic

admin

January 16, 2014 at 6:15 pm

I think there is a chance but right now it seems you are putting way too much focus on him and not enough on yourself.
ledya

January 17, 2014 at 10:46 am

but why do you think he disappeared without even informing me he wanna walk away? this is not fair, I feel disrespect!

Lisa

January 12, 2014 at 11:30 pm

Was in a relationship with a guy that I met through one of my friends for about 4 months. he is 30 and I am 25. It got serious really fast, we spent most nights together and he was really great at including me in activities with his friends. I was the his first “real” gf..we went to one of his relatives weddings together, met eachothers parents, the whole deal. One big issue in our relationship was that I would take out my stress at work on him, by sending him mean texts or starting fights to get reassurance. So I guess it was work stress combined with insecurity about the relationship (I had a really bad relationship previously, and didn’t want to get hurt again). Anyways, I finally send the text that broke the camels back by saying “I can’t believe you would rather be out drinking with your friends than hanging out with your potential future parent in laws” (my parents were visiting, but he already had plans with his friends)…obviously I know this text, after only 4 months of dating, is totally out of line..but like i said, I would say things that I didn’t actually mean in order to get reassurance. I know it was ridiculous, and I apologized a TON for it but the next day, after we went to brunch with my family, when they left he broke up with me! He literally carried all my clothes and things from his car and gave them back..he said that it was over, and i have some serious issues i need to work on. he said he hopes i learn from this and hes sure I’ll find the right guy for me. He said he couldnt deal with my insecurity and he wasnt sure if we would ever get back together…that was about 2 MONTHS ago..and sadly I pulled the crazy ex gf card many times texting him apologizing, telling him i loved him and i think we could work it out, just being super sweet…but all i ever got was silence. in the past 2 months, i left him alone for 9 days bc he said “just give me space” and then I kept bugging him and didnt get an answer until he said “its been over, you need to deal with this. theres nothing else to explain”…obviously it looks like i should just count my losses and move on…but everything from the relationship still haunts me and i still feel like we were meant to be together. I told him if he told me he didnt love me any more i would leave him alone for good…but still no response. Anyways, at this point, i told him like 5 days ago that im still there for him but im not going to “grovel” anymore. Ive said everything I had to say and that I would let him figure stuff out for himself while i heal, alone. of course no response. I am doing okay not talking to him…but I still feel like we should be together. I realize that i was his first real serious gf and it moved really fast, which makes me feel like he was just overwhelmed with it all and we could be together again once things settle back down and he sees that im not stalking him or nuts. When we were in the relationship, one of the main problems was that he would get mad at me when i would be mad at him, so i would get even madder. also that he would ignore me when he knew i was upset with him. So thats making me think that this silence is all bc hes hurt, and he wants to teach me a lesson on managing my emotions by myself, before we could be together again. If thats the case, then i think ive made it very clear to him in my texts and what not that I know my flaws and am working on them and would never get mad at him for reassurance again. I feel like we were great together, just overwhelming, and we could totally work it out. But whats your opinion? Since its been almost 2 months of him not talking to me, im kind of worried…idk if its worth still hanging on to..even if im not texting him now, i still feel dedicated.

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1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”