I’ve compiled a list of the very best books to read after a breakup.
But I didn’t want to just vomit a bunch of books on the page for you, pat you on the shoulder and say, “here you go.”
Instead, I thought it would be prudent to divide the books up into two categories,
- The best books to read if you want to get over your ex
- The best books to read if you want to get your ex back
Let’s delve into the world of breakups.
Must-Read Books If You Want to Get Over Your Ex
Some breakup recovery books can feel dull and repetitive, often dispensing the same advice. But consider this:
The entire industry is dedicated to helping people recover from breakups. That in itself is amazing. The real challenge is to find the ones that truly work, just like these hidden gems!
Fun fact: The first book is about becoming the ‘main character’ version of yourself.
‘Ungettable’ by Chris Seiter
Reading this book is like cultivating two versions of yourself: one that could make your ex beg for you and another that only YOU could truly embody.
It is divided into three sections; mindset, self-improvement, and attraction.
The book can teach you how to regain control of your emotions, focus on your personal growth, and ultimately become irresistible – a version your ex cannot resist.
By focusing on personal growth and self-improvement, Seiter guides readers on how to turn their pain into power, emerging more robust and confident. Not only will you learn how to get over your ex, but you’ll also learn how to tap into your ex’s deepest desires and needs. You’ll discover the power of social proof, scarcity, and the fear of loss, and how to use these psychological triggers to your advantage.
Whether you’re trying to heal from a recent breakup or want to sharpen your dating skills, ‘Ungettable’ has insights for everyone. Why not give it a try and become the Ungettable version of yourself?
As Seiter writes in ‘Ungettable’:
“The journey of moving on begins when you realize your worth and choose to prioritize your happiness above all else.”
Calming the Emotional Storm by Sheri Van Dijk
An emotional storm? We’ve all been there. It’s challenging when intense emotions such as anger, grief, and worry take over, impairing our ability to think clearly.
‘Calming the Emotional Storm’ is a book designed to help you manage challenging emotions responsibly and calmly. It employs powerful skills from dialectical behavior therapy, a method that combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness practices.
You’ll learn to create a balanced life for everyday well-being, release unwanted worries and fears, embrace acceptance for yourself and others, and navigate problems without succumbing to your emotions.
If you find it difficult to comprehend, express, and process intense emotions, as most of us do, this book is for you!
As stated in ‘Calming the Emotional Storm’:
“By cultivating self-compassion and acceptance, you can heal from the pain of a breakup and emerge stronger than ever.”
“The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
Are you in search of inner peace? While not exclusively focused on overcoming a breakup, this book emphasizes mindfulness and living in the present moment. It guides you to release past regrets and future anxieties, enabling you to fully engage with the here and now.
By cultivating presence, you’ll foster greater self-awareness and uncover novel strategies to manage challenging emotions. Whether you’re grappling with heartbreak, stress, or any other hurdle, this book can offer a unique perspective and steer you towards a more serene, fulfilling life.
If you’re prepared to embrace the present moment, this book is certainly worth your consideration!
As Tolle emphasizes in “The Power of Now”:
“Develop profound awareness that the only real possession you have is the present moment. Shift your attention to prioritize the present as the central focus of your life.”
“It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken” by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
From its title, it’s easier to recognize that this book is about heartbreak.
However, with a healthy dose of humor, Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt provide practical advice on navigating the complicated emotions that come with the end of a relationship.
This book covers everything from dealing with the initial shock to learning to let go and move on. It’s perfect for those who want to heal and find happiness after a breakup.
Quote: “The best way to get over him is to be on with someone else… even if you aren’t ready.”
“The Art of Loving” by Erich Fromm
If you’re into more traditional and classic books that tackle psychology and love, visit this book!
It is a thought-provoking read that encourages us to rethink our attitudes toward love and relationships, and provides valuable insights on cultivating meaningful connections with ourselves and others.
It delves into the nature of love in all aspects, including brotherly, motherly, and erotic love. Fromm stated that love is an emotion that can be learned and developed over time. His book emphasizes the importance of self-love and self-awareness as a foundation for healthy relationships.
Quote: “Love is a decision, a judgment, and a promise. If love were only an emotion, then there’s no basis for the promise of forever.”
Jennifer Taitz – “How to Be Single and Happy”
I once struggled with the fear of being single again.
Luckily, I read this inspiring book that empowers individuals with insights to help them embrace the joys of single life and discover happiness within themselves. Jennifer Taitz challenges the notion that happiness solely depends on being in a relationship.
Through evidence-based strategies, cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques, and relatable stories, this book encourages readers to embrace their independence, cultivate self-love, and create a fulfilling single life.
It explores self-discovery, self-care, building meaningful connections, and finding fulfillment in work and hobbies. With warmth and empathy, Taitz demonstrates that being single can be a transformative and empowering journey of self-growth.
Quote: “Being single is not a deficiency but an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and creating a life you truly love.”
“Breaking Up and Bouncing Back” by Samantha Burns
Samantha Burns, a relationship counselor, provides practical guidance in her book “Breaking Up and Bouncing Back.”
In fact, Chris Seiter, the founder of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Program, interviewed her about How to Survive a Soul-Crushing Breakup.
Speaking of the book, it is the ultimate guide for anyone going through a difficult breakup.
Burns helps readers navigate the emotional challenges of ending a relationship and empowers them to heal, rebuild their lives, and find happiness again. It provides a roadmap for transforming heartbreak into an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.
This is a must-read book if you want to do some serious inner work before jumping back into the dating pool. It’s like having a trusted friend by your side, guiding you through the highs and lows of post-breakup life.
Quote: “Sometimes, the most courageous thing we can do is to let go of what’s no longer serving us, even if it means temporarily embracing the pain of loss. In doing so, we create space for new beginnings and the possibility of finding something even more beautiful.”
“Tiny Beautiful Things” by Cheryl Strayed
Even the tiniest things can bring beauty to this world.
The book “Tiny Beautiful Things” brings together a collection of Cheryl Strayed’s most potent advice columns, providing a rare glimpse into the inner workings of one of our most beloved advice columnists.
With a compassionate and no-nonsense approach, Strayed delves headfirst into the deepest, darkest corners of the human experience, offering readers wisdom, comfort, and hope in equal measure.
From heart-wrenching tales of loss and betrayal to the everyday struggles of navigating relationships, work, and family, Strayed’s advice is always honest, heartfelt, and, above all, empathetic. With a sharp wit and a deep well of compassion, she offers readers a roadmap for navigating the complexities of the human heart, urging them to embrace the messiness of life and find beauty in even the tiniest moments of joy.
Quote: “Let yourself be gutted. Let it open you. Start there.”
“Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggins
This is the personal favorite self-help book of our founder, Chris. “Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggins is an inspiring memoir that chronicles the incredible journey of a man who transformed himself from a struggling, overweight young man into one of the toughest endurance athletes and military members in the world.
Throughout the memoir, Goggins emphasizes the importance of mental strength and perseverance, suggesting that adopting these qualities is essential for overcoming the hardships associated with a breakup. His book also provides readers with valuable advice and strategies that he utilized to surpass his limitations, offering practical applications for the readers.
Ultimately, this book has been instrumental in helping numerous individuals realize that many difficulties in life are far more severe than a breakup. It enables them to gain perspective and recognize that their situation may not be as dire as they initially believed.
Quote: “We are all great. Whether you think you’re dumb, fat, or have been bullied, we all have greatness. You have to find the courage. Hard work, discipline, and non-cognitive skills—hard work, dedication, sacrifice—will set you apart.”
“Getting Past Your Breakup” by Susan J. Elliott
Getting over your ex? You’ve got to claim this book title. “Getting Past Your Breakup” offers valuable insights, practical strategies, and empowering exercises to help you heal, grow, and find happiness again. It is designed to assist individuals in navigating the challenging process of recovering from a breakup.
Susan J. Elliott, a licensed therapist and experienced breakup coach, combines her professional expertise with personal anecdotes to create a relatable and supportive resource.
The book begins by addressing the initial stages of a breakup, acknowledging the pain, and providing guidance on understanding and accepting your emotions.
It then progresses through the healing journey, offering step-by-step advice on various aspects of recovery, such as building self-esteem, setting boundaries, and dealing with loneliness.
Elliott’s book emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and self-care, encouraging readers to focus on personal growth and rediscover their identities. Through this process, you will better understand your needs and learn how to establish a strong foundation.
Quote: “Healing doesn’t usually mean that the damage never existed. It’s just that the damage no longer controls our lives.”
Best Books to Read If You Want Your Ex-Back
Let’s switch gears now and focus on books that could help you navigate the complex landscape of relationships and increase your chances of winning back your ex.
After all, “Love is sweeter the second time around.”
And to begin with, the first book is proven and tested by many.
“The Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Program” by Chris Seiter
One of the most successful programs and books that have helped hundreds of couples get back together.
In “The Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Program,” relationship expert Chris Seiter provides a comprehensive guide for anyone yearning to win back their ex.
With a blend of practical advice and emotional support, Seiter equips readers with proven strategies to navigate the complexities of relationships. From understanding the psychology of breakups to crafting effective communication techniques, this book offers a roadmap to rekindle lost love and foster personal growth.
By roadmap, I mean this program offers a lot.
You will not only raise the chances of getting your ex back but also become a different person. Seiter’s engaging writing style and relatable anecdotes make this a must-read for anyone longing to reignite the spark with their ex.
Quote: “No one knows what the future holds, and if you fail to act, there will be no alteration. Seize control and assert your authority over your future. The possibility of a second chance awaits.”
“Attached” by Amir Levine
This is one of the best books exploring the science behind adult attachment styles and their impact on romantic relationships.
Through captivating research and real-life examples, Levine uncovers attachment dynamics and offers invaluable insights into discovering attachment styles. This book will help you identify patterns, navigate attachment challenges, and create healthier and more fulfilling connections.
Quote: “Love is not a game of chance. It is a dance of connection, intimacy, and vulnerability. Understanding the dance steps will lead to a more harmonious and loving relationship with your ex.”
“Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss
In “Never Split the Difference,” former FBI negotiator Chris Voss shares powerful negotiation techniques that can be applied to winning back your ex.
Voss’s gripping stories from high-stakes hostage negotiations provide practical lessons on effective communication, emotional intelligence, and persuasive techniques. This book will help you navigate tricky conversations with your ex and ultimately negotiate a reconciliation.
Quote: “Great negotiation is not about defeating your opponent; it’s about creating an environment where everyone wins. Understanding your ex’s needs and finding common ground can pave the way for a mutual resolution and a renewed relationship.”
“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman
The book “The Five Love Languages” is a classic relationship guide exploring how people give and receive love.
You can learn how to communicate and express your love effectively by identifying your ex’s primary love language.
This insightful book provides practical tips on reconnecting emotionally and reigniting the passion you once shared, helping you build a stronger foundation for a renewed relationship.
Quote: “Love is not measured by the quantity of words spoken but by the quality of actions taken. Discovering your ex’s love language will give you the key to their heart.”
“Inspire His Desire” by Chris Seiter
You must have noticed that I’ve listed many of Chris’s books. This is his website after all.
But it’s more than that, his books are excellent, proven, and at the peak of success.
“Inspire His Desire” is a guide designed to help women understand the psychological triggers that ignite desire and attraction in men.
By exploring the male psyche and providing actionable advice, this book equips you with the knowledge to reignite the passion and captivate your ex’s heart again. Seiter’s friendly and relatable examples make this an engaging read for those seeking to revive their relationship.
Quote: “The path to reigniting desire begins with self-discovery. Unleash your authentic self, embrace your passions, and become the irresistible force that attracts your ex back into your arms.”
Knowledge is essential when going through a tough breakup, so finding solace and learning from different perspectives is a good step towards moving on. These books can provide comfort and guidance:
- “Ungettable” by Chris Seiter
- “Calming The Emotional Storm” by Sheri Van Dijk
- “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle
- “It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken” by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
- “The Art of Loving” by Erich Fromm
- “How to Be Single and Happy” by Jennifer Taitz
- “Breaking Up and Bouncing Back” by Samantha Burns
- “Tiny Beautiful Things” by Cheryl Strayed
- “Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggins
- “Getting Past Your Breakup” by Susan J. Elliott
And, of course, the bonus! It isn’t efficient to get back together with your ex when you’re broken and a mess. You’re not a doormat. However, if you decide that getting back with your ex is the best choice for you, these books can be valuable tools:
- “The Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Program” by Chris Seiter
- “Attached” by Amir Levine
- “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss
- “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman
- “Inspire His Desire” by Chris Seiter