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335 thoughts on “The Ungettable Girl”

  1. Avatar


    November 2, 2016 at 12:02 pm

    Hi, I’m curious, does relationship period could be a benchmark of whether there is possibility of him coming back or reaching out first or not at all? So those who had been together for years could have higher chance of getting their ex back compared to those who’s been there in under one year?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 3, 2016 at 3:52 pm

      Hi Monica,

      yes, those who have been longer together have a higher chance of getting back together

  2. Avatar


    October 2, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    Hi, so I have been in a relationship for the past two years on and off with my boyfriend. It hasn’t been completely smooth sailing due to unfortunate circumstances like him cheating and then wanting me back. We got back together after the cheating situation however i made sure to do the no contact rule on him. We were together another 4 months until he decided to break up with me two weeks ago, saying that he didn’t know if he saw a future for us… How do i change his mind? We have spoke a little since the breakup but mostly just me trying to get across my feelings. I’m unsure what to do and how to do it. The end goal is to get him back and to keep him, i just don’t really know how to make this happen.

    Please Help!
    Thank you.

    1. Avatar


      October 10, 2016 at 7:57 pm

      I wasn’t clingy no. i had a lot of trust issues with him cheating. over the past week we have been talking great… he was messaging me and having really full conversations. Until Friday when he suddenly just started to ignore me. he then later text me saying he was going to block me on the saturday. Then on the saturday night he decided to unblock me and text me just to cause an argument. we have spoken today but not in a very nice way at all. it annoys me because one minute he says he wants to be friends and then the next he doesn’t care and he doesn’t want to be. should i do not contact on him?


    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      yes, I think you should

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 5, 2016 at 9:38 am

      Hi Holly,

      you cant force him to change his mind, especially if he already made a decision. You would like you’re contradicting what he wants.. the best you can do is to agree and to improve yourself.. aim being the ungettable girl.. were you clingy?

  3. Avatar


    September 14, 2016 at 1:09 am

    Hi Amor again,
    As I mentioned earlier, he texted me with about 10 texts included gtalk (hang out) for three days straight and told me he realized how I feel and said sorry. But he stopped contact me after he texted and called my mom. My mom already answered him that I am fine. But I just broke NC rule after 10 days since my ex boyfriend tried to make a plea to forgive him right after I read page 25 in Ex bf recovery pro.

    At result I got his positive texts included positive pics ( total 6) from him. But I broke the NC rule with 3 texts while he didn’t texting me back. But I don’t feel right since he only making me feel better and seems not thinking to make us go back to be relationship. Maybe cuz I texted him 4 texts straight right after NC to explain that I am sorry that I didn’t text him back because my head is still spinning. His last text is “All you said is that you’re head is still spinning. …. spinning from what?”

    I already know he is seeing another girl but I don’t know what is his situation now. So I am wondering should I stay in tide theory or NC?

    Thank you for have a time to listen me

    1. Avatar


      September 14, 2016 at 1:25 am

      I know texting him with 4 texts straight without his response is yacky which I didn’t follow tide theory.
      I and he have been together for 3 years and I broke him up and since I felt he is not passion with me. He have been begging me to go back to him for two month and I decided to get back to him but it was too late since he was starting date with a new girl but he dumped her after he realized she is crazy and a cheater. But he want to get back to me maybe after a year but can’t be guarantee.

      For now, I feel like I would like to tell him that “if you are still seeing a girl, it hurts my feeling. And would not like to talk to you for awhile or never.” But seems it s not right thing to tell him.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 17, 2016 at 11:19 am

      Oh ok.. I think it’s too early to expect him to ask to come back with you, especially if he has a new girlfriend.. I think he was just worried. For me, you should restart the no contact rule.

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    June 23, 2016 at 12:23 am

    I can’t believe I’m posting anything here, but as you can tell, I think I’m living in some sort of alternate reality. Its so weird and surreal the last two months. Long story short, I first met my partner years ago. At the time, I was doing well professionally (office manager with a long time employer) and my spare time I was an competitive athlete (and successful at that). Basically, an “ungettable girl”. I met my future partner and we had started dating and it began intensely. Year later, we were living together. A couple years after that, we moved to his hometown. I had to look for new work and well, this was a new, smaller town and I knew no one; while my partner had contacts and knew everyone. Roles were switched. He became the breadwinner. All the while, I started to feel small and…awkward. And we started to drift. All through this, we were adopting “kids” (animals) and they were our kids (I love them dearly and miss them terribly). There were some good times…but the last year, I’ve been plagued with headaches/migraines and whatever stress related crap from trying to become successful and he, with the one working car, going to work and being away 10-12 hours a day and when he did come home, doing so drunk. He would also make me feel like the most unattractive and most ungainly person in ANY room. He developed “crushes” with female co-workers, often gushing about their interests (which were similar to mine). He would also complain about my not “contributing” (I would, when I could), and it was hurtful because I was all aware of it and WANT to contribute. The sex became less and less frequent and the kisses goodbye and the little “I love yous” became infrequent and then, stopped.
    The breakup happened a couple of months ago, suddenly. But not “so” suddenly, as I had been in a massive depressed state, knowing that this all was just…not right. I wished this was a truly interdependent relationship – knew it could, since at one time, was. His drinking was taking over as was his need to impress others. This was not the guy I first met years ago; but then, neither was I the same gal. I had become this co-dependent “thing” that I no longer recognized and what I saw, I didn’t like. We were both growing frustrated and unhappy. And we had stopped talking to each other. So, one day, it all came to a head and while he announced “the end”, we both walked away. I moved out and have been staying at a friend’s house. I no longer am starting my day with a headache or migraine. I feel healthy. I cut off my hair took it back to its awesome shortness (that is similar to how I had when I first met my partner – it was he who wanted me to grow out my hair and I’ve always disliked it). I’m getting back in shape, dropped several pounds and will be working at my old gym, too. And my business is STILL growing. I do miss him. I miss our “kids” like crazy (and that makes me cry myself to sleep every night). At first he was so angry. And I didn’t know about NC, so I’d still text or try to call. He wouldn’t respond. Now, I’ve been doing a partial NC due to needing to get permission to go out to the house to see the “kids”. But I planned for a specific day/time so that I no longer need to text him. He was civil this last time, too. However this, I LIKE that I’m going back to my old self. I like becoming how I once was, self-reliant. I don’t want to move back into the house. But I miss him – the old him. I miss hanging out with him and the “kids”. I miss all of that. BTW, this relationship is 12 years long. Thats the gist of my story.

    1. Avatar


      July 4, 2016 at 3:52 am

      Hi, Amor:

      At this point, I am comfortable with the idea of continuing on my own way. Its scary since I’ve not been single in so long, but my support network has been amazing and I’m looking forward to some adventures. If we ever reconciled? First off, I wouldn’t move back into that house. Secondly, my business would be fine. Because from now on, boundaries will be laid and set in stone and never again will I put up with as much of the crap I’ve put up with before. My former self is back. I’ve been back at training and feel GREAT. I’ve initiated NC and as much as its destroying me inside, I’ve not gone back out to the house to see the fur/feather kids. Its been over a week since the last time he texted me. I’m just gonna focus on me now, thank you very much.

    2. Avatar


      June 23, 2016 at 12:45 am

      Let me add a couple of things: He was always ultra secretive about finances to the point we almost lost the house due to his not paying the mortgage for a few months. I helped save it by using up ALL of my retirement. And he would often, hold off from paying compliments or kudos to my successes. He is the one who (and I should say it this way), I allowed to stop me from training (my first love is being physically active), calling it only a “hobby”. That training and physical activity had let me to become a reference model for artists (who need a fit, muscular [but feminine] female). And I’m doing that, again (which I’m excited about), btw. Its just that for so long, he was my partner “in crime”. But the last time I saw him, he looked paunchy, older, puffy/red faced. Know its due to all the alcohol but not sure if some of that is due to him being depressed, lately, too.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 27, 2016 at 11:35 am

      Hi Surreal,

      at first I thought the relationship was a short one, so I was surprised to know it span to 12 years.. so, if ever you get back together what happens to you and your business?

  5. Avatar


    June 5, 2016 at 10:32 pm

    I dated my ex for 3 years. We were happy together I would say until he cheated on me last year. We never really broke contact and we’re still sexually involved but didn’t get back together until 3 months later. However, I had hard time trusting him again. I always thought something was going on which led him to break up with me. He said that I’m “drama”. After we broke up I didn’t contact him but he contacted me asking if I could still do bf and gf things together … We continued to talk and do normal things but neve got back together. I started thinking he was leading me on because every time I’d ask if we’d get back together he’d be like yeah. However, recently found out he’s been playing two other girls and “dating” one of them in another state. He told me that he still had feelings for me, cared about me, and will always be there for me but it left me so confused. After I found all of that out I had enough and went into NC rule, it’s only been 2 weeks and he reached out once out of nowhere sending laughing emojis. I didn’t respond back, cause I think he just wanted attention. I’m so confused, I miss him and idk what I should do. He says the main reason for us breaking up was because I’m drama. Do I still have a chance or should I just move on ?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 5:47 am

      Hi Confused,

      do you trust him now? Coz if you don’t, it’s better to stay separated until he gets your trust back.

  6. Avatar

    Anon Phil

    June 5, 2016 at 7:30 am

    Hi just wondering when would you think the Ungettable Girl E-book will be available solely on its own. Thank you!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 11, 2016 at 1:22 pm

      sorry for the late reply.. if you bump into him just smile.. if he initiates a convo be polite but answer shortly direct on what he said.. I’m not sure if it will be available on it’s own but you’ll learn a lot from the other books with it..so, it’s worth your buy

  7. Avatar


    May 25, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    I’ve been in no contact with my ex for 10 days now. He’s contacted once on day 3 with a ‘sorry’ message that wasn’t a leading message. I made all the mistakes as soon as we broke up and the last message I sent said message me if you ever want to talk. But then I read about no contact and am sticking to it. The problem I have is a mutual friend out of the blue has started messaging me so I just kept it brief explaining that we’d broke up and when it was and said I didn’t want to talk about it. I then went on to talk about all the fun things I’m doing right now like organising a holiday etc, I don’t know if this friend is messaging me because he has asked them to find out how I am so I don’t know if I’m handling it correctly. Also a family member of his has just added me on facebook and I would have thought he would have told them about the split so I’m concerned with what the motive is there and how to handle it if they contact me. Hope you can help.

    1. Avatar


      June 8, 2016 at 11:38 pm

      Thank you so much for getting back to me! 🙂 I’m on day 22 of no contact and I haven’t heard anything else & made the mistake of looking at his profile. I thought one time can’t hurt but I was wrong. He appears to have been out having loads of fun with friends in all different places, nothing bad just him looking incredibly happy, and I’m left feeling that he’s actually much happier being single and maybe I should have responded to that last message. He had mentioned to me that he had wanted to live the single life before we got together (we met when we were both in relationships) but that he loved me so much. Now I’m thinking he’s living the life he really wanted because my ignoring him.

    2. Avatar


      May 29, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      He messaged me again saying he’s sorry, he loves and and misses me. I’ve ignored it even though it was heartbreaking to. The reason he broke up with me is because he feels his head is messed up and he’s got issues and baggage to deal with and he can’t give me what I deserve and isn’t ready and doesn’t know when he ever will be. I’m also a mom and my child grew to know him as Daddy. He lives an hour and a half away and missed a couple of weekends when he was supposed to come up because he went out with friends and said he missed them (he’d just moved back to his home town when we got together) and the last weekend he missed was when he ended it as he felt so bad about letting me down again . Am I right to go NC when he’s emotionally unstable? Do I even have any chance of us getting back together? Is it harder when someone has emotional problems?

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 31, 2016 at 12:14 pm

      If he is serious about changing, it’s ok to break nc.. but if not, let him have space so he can think

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 27, 2016 at 1:01 pm

      Hi Cindy,

      you handled it right. He might be using them to get through to you so, don’t talk too much to them. Only go about your improvements and what they themselves have been up to, but don’t disclose feelings or relationship plans.

  8. Avatar

    Miss O.

    May 3, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    Is there any way to get just the ungettable girl e-book? I’ve looked everywhere on the site but only see it as a package deal with the recovery pro program

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 4, 2016 at 2:28 pm

      HI Miss O,

      I”m sorry it’s only available with the package for now.

  9. Avatar


    April 27, 2016 at 8:50 pm

    Like one of the other girls, who commented here, I would love to have the Ungettable Girl e-book, but I simply don’t need the entire Ex-back Package. Please, consider putting a package together for girls who believe self-improvement is more important than getting an ex back.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 6:52 am

      Thanks for the suggestion Elena..I’ll forward this to Chris!

  10. Avatar


    April 26, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    So, my ex and I dated for a year and half and we broke up 10 months ago. He moved away 8 months ago, but we’ve kept in contact randomly here and there. We broke up because he said he wasn’t ready for what I wanted. I’m 25 and a single mom and he’s 28 with no kids. He adores my daughter and treated her as though she was truly his. He just told me yesterday he is coming in town next month, specifically to see me, for a week. My daughter leaves for the summer a week before he gets here so I don’t have to worry about that side of it. I have no idea what to do, or how I should be towards him. I need serious advice.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 27, 2016 at 8:11 am

      Hi Ashley,

      just have fun.. create memories that would make him want to be with you more.. but don’t sleep with him..

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    April 25, 2016 at 7:19 pm

    So I am 42 have 2 children. My tummy will never be Kims. Its full of stretch marks and paunchy. My ex loves my tits, my ass etc. He said I had ana amazing body. But I think he thinks I am not enough to impress his buddies with. So I guess I am ruined for life and should just pack it in as I am no longer loveable. Nice.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 27, 2016 at 6:07 am

      Hi Michelle,

      you have to stop that to yourself because how you treat yourself will how most people will treat you.

  12. Avatar


    March 30, 2016 at 3:51 am

    Hi Chris,
    You are every girl’s best guy friend. I was in a relationship with my bf for 6 years and thanks to extensive reading and analysis of your website and your virtual support of course, I am finally over him. It took me 3 months to realise but without an expert like you, I might still be crying over him. I won’t get into details of why he dumped me. But I still need your help. I want to become the ungettable girl again. I don’t want your entire ebr pro but just the ungettable girl ebook. I am tired of sending mails to you as they keep getting bounced. So this is the only way I can communicate with you now.
    Thanks again.
    And girls, either to get him back or to get over him or if you are in between, Chris Seiter is your man!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 3, 2016 at 7:18 am

      Thanks Ankita!

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    February 22, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    Hi Chris, stumbled across your site and it’s quite interesting the things you are saying.
    I have been in a relationship for 5 and half years it has now ended because I chose not to want to gave another child.I already have a daughter of 17 from a previous marriage, I am 42 and my ex is 39.
    He had said that even if I didn’t want kids he wanted to be with me.But he left a week and a half ago.We had a very instable relationship always triggering eachothers old wounds and stuff but we worked through a lot with therapy but we just couldnt make it work..still I really miss him even though I do feel less stressed.My mind is going crazy thinking of him with sime young beautiful girl who can have lots of kids with him..do you see or hear any kind of space for us to get back together?he was always so in love with me but a lot of all talk and not bringing us to the next level kind of thing..ok well writing to you from Holland and purchasing your ebook along with a few other girlfriends of mine!!thanks!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Hi Fiona,

      if he really wanted kids, then that would be a situation but if he’s really fine without having kids, then you can try nc and maybe space and a kind of reset is all you need.. though I can’t guarantee that it will surely work for you.. at least you can try or talk to him first… if the talk doesn’t work… Do nc

  14. Avatar


    February 14, 2016 at 12:00 am

    Hey Chris! I`ve been given this UG a lot of taught.
    First I did not taught I was one, but then I remebered a couple of guys for whom I most definetly am, an UG.
    And then …the “scary” thing came up…Dont mean to sound like a b**** but, for them… I kinda am.
    So I guess mi QUESTION is: Are we supposed to fake it? Is that even possible when you are actually atracted to whom you are trying to come out as UG?
    Thank you!
    Sorry for my weird writting

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 14, 2016 at 6:35 am

      Hi Pb,
      It’s better if you really work on being the ungettable girl.. Because that way, you will value yourself more.. Yes, it’s possible to be attracted to a guy while being the UG, it will just mean you know you’re boundaried

  15. Avatar


    January 4, 2016 at 11:54 am


    My boyfriend and i recently broke up. Two weeks ago.
    He still wants to be friends and says he likes me and find me attractive, but he needs some space.
    I asked him if he does not want to call it a break instead of a break up. He said no, I need space.

    So days passed by and we still communicate online. Now he asked me if I can have dinner with him this wednesday?
    What do I do? I want to see him, but I also want him to chase me and want me back.
    I responded with ‘euhm, I’ll think about it’

    Do I already go on this date or is it to early?


    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2016 at 9:50 am

      Hi Mel,

      For me why not go and assess how he wants to go with your relationship and try the push pull method while you’re there.

  16. Avatar


    December 28, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I think that it is wonderful that you are trying to help women get their ex boyfriends back. However, I find this article rather disturbing. I think this is article gives bad advice for 5 reasons:

    1. Telling women to base their value on their attractiveness to men does not lead to a happy life or healthy relationships

    2. Propagating pernicious beauty standards that lead women to not value their natural born beauty has serious consequences. We’re all born different and that’s what’s beautiful. Telling women to look like Kim Kardashian is really missing the point of trying to empower women to be better.

    3. Fetishization; it’s okay to admit that men and women have/want fantasies, but they are fantasies and we all have to acknowledge them as such. Telling women to look and be like Barbie (surround yourself with people and act this way, and look this way) is just setting people up for misery. Why not tell people: “Hey do you.” If a man/woman does not love you for who you are, then hell with it! you guys were not meant to be, you can find someone better for yourself. At the end of the day, a relationship is built on loving each other for who you really are, not some fantasy UG whatever.

    4. If a guy is rating you on a points system– RUN. Run far, far away.

    5. Change for yourself. Don’t change to attract guys/girls. If you love yourself and think you’re beautiful, men/women will come. So do you. If you’re happy with yourself, other people will be happy with you too. So don’t worry about UGs and points and popularity. (If a guy/girl really cares about all that then he/she’s probably not someone you want to be with anyways.) Love yourself for who you are.

    Chris you have a loud voice in this community, so I hope that you will start promoting self-acceptance and self-empowerment instead of this weird points system and male fantasy. You can help make healthy, important changes in people’s lives.

    Best wishes.

    1. Avatar


      February 4, 2016 at 6:42 am

      Thanks for posting this, T. My thoughts exactly! While I have found some good advice here, this article left a bad taste in my mouth, so to speak.

      I hope the author realizes that reading these things can have a huge impact on a woman’s self-worth. Creating a dialogue where women feel like they must compare themselves to celebrities, or derive their sense of worth from looks at all is incredibly damaging. We see all the time that celebrities like Kim K bow under the pressure of this and submit to surgery.

      Of course your appearance matters to a degree. I look and feel better when I’m staying healthy and wearing clothes that flatter me. But not all guys are shallow enough to rate me on a points system. Male friends I’ve talked to about this think it’s incredibly immature to go around arbitrarily scoring someone, and usually stems from a guys own insecurities.

      This is for all the women out there (and probably young girls) reading this who, in the back of their minds, had the same thought.

  17. Avatar


    November 4, 2015 at 10:56 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I left you two comments about a week or two ago regarding my ex, and never heard back from you (I understand if you’re busy with the baby, congrats btw). Its been two weeks of NC with my ex and he hasn’t tried to contact me at all, he’s even fixed things with his new girlfriend and they are continuing to pursue a relationship together. I’ve decided to give up on my ex, my life is better without him (which, if you’ve read my comment about our 9 year history together, you probably knew that already). My question has to do with becoming an ungettable girl… There is someone new I would like to attract, but he has flat out told me he would never date someone older than him, and I am older than him. But he always goes out of his way to talk to me and check up on me, and he has been trying to make sure I stay strong and stay away from my ex. Is it possible an ungettable girl can make a man change his ideas about things like age limits?

  18. Avatar

    Broken hearted

    October 12, 2015 at 6:42 am

    Hi Chris, I want my ex back, and I wanted your advice. I never cheated on him or anything and 9 years ago ( our relationship lasted for 9 years) he use to put me on a pedestal, and was an amazing boyfriend that did anything for me. He did a lot for me, and I may have taken him for granted ( that was years ago) because I felt like h would always be there. Thinks got bad at least 5 years in he cheated on me by making out with this girl, and completely hit it from me. That was 5 years in and after he had went cold and distant. He begged for me back and promised change, and that he would never go distant on me ( eg shut down ignore my calls ) and that we would talk about are problems, and he will build my trust. He’s efforts seem genuine. But it got to the point where he was telling me to let go of the past. Sometimes I just wanted him to help me and be there and reassure me, but it seemed like he wanted me to let it go and just trust him. He given me everything, his bills, his phone account and evern something to track him. But I couldn’t trust him, and would shut down. I do feel like I could forgive him. Chris he shut down on me again, and were friends for a while, eventually we got back together and promised a better future. At this point I would test him to see if he is all in. He would say stuff like I have now I’m never letting you go again. but one day after about a year it felt like he just gave up. I’m rather confused. He started saying he loves me like a sister and that I’m like a business partner when before he told be he wanted to be with me.? This is a 9 year relationship ( no sex before marriage) we did flirt and did other stuff, and were actually discussing marriage. He wanted to get engaged this year, and now its like he suddenly changed his mind? Saying he isn’t ready to get married till 35? and now are lifestile are different ? I am on nc for about three months he called me once saying he cared but I can text if I want, but I don’t have to if I don’t want to. That was the last I heard from him. After 9 years ? seven days later he is dating someone on Plenty of Fish. II love this guy deeply, but I feel so betrayed, ive been in the hospital by his side when he went for surgery and really would have taken care of him if he was a vegetable.

    1. Avatar

      Broken hearted

      October 12, 2015 at 6:56 am

      I believe I was once this perfect girl in his eyes, and he wanted no one else. Now I feel like that has shifted. Ever since the brake up, I have been focusing on me and was able to rediscover certain aspects of myself, and became more independent and was able to face many of my fears, I am even on the verge of feeling like I can let the past go and forgive him for his mistakes, When we broke up this time I had said may be we shouldn’t to together out of frustration, he said he still wanted to be together, but later I felt like he was breaking up with me. Three days later that’s when he is saying we are on different wavelengths, and he sees me as a sister … yet he didn’t mind flirting with me.. like he would sayone last kiss etc.. and I wouldn’t kiss him. Any clue one what happened to our 9 years ?? and why he would just shift gears and give up? Do you think it’s fixable?

  19. Avatar


    August 12, 2015 at 2:17 am

    It is with most discomfort, that I relate to you that I had full respect in you until… this post. I’ve heard term “ungettable” before, but does it not imply that the guy “wishes” to be forever empty-handed? But also for the girl — why should she be empty-handed? What king of a crazy idiocy of of “love” this is? In my mind I’m “ungettalbe” cause I don’t want the guy. Period. What’s the purpose of pretending of being ‘ungettable’, just to feed the man’s ego when he ‘gets you’? Makes 0 sense. Sorry.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 19, 2015 at 3:59 pm

      I’m sorry you feel that way, The main purpose of this article is to inspire women to be the best version of themselves not to feed the man’s ego. When women become the best versions of themselves, they become more confident and attract men more easily.

  20. Avatar


    July 22, 2015 at 7:24 am

    Hi Chris,

    I royally messed up it seems. I ran into my ex after NC for 2-3 months. We were intimate and I continued being intimate with him for a month and half. I was the one who broke things off, I even admittedly cheated on him. I think he used me but he’s not the type to intentionally do so, regardless I thought things were going well because we were intimate and loving but he said he wasn’t ready to forgive me…but he was ready to sleep with me. I did all the “wrong” things. I complimented him, I answered every call/text and all in the name of not wanting to play games. We’ve always had an honest, forthright relationship. It was all very confusing and he even made a special trip to come see me when I went out of town. Though when it was his turn to be out of town he ended up sleeping with someone and therefore ending it with me. I said goodbye with dignity, saying that I didn’t want contact and such. I am very distraught by the whole situation.

    This person gave him what he called, “finally the perspective he was looking for on what a healthy relationship looks like”. He knew this woman for 7 days–I don’t buy it. I think, and correct me if I’m wrong, that I boosted his ego and at his first chance he slept with someone else.

    When I ran into him after NC I was happy, I was in a good place. Now I’m a mess and I feel like am imbecile. Is there any chance in salvaging this? I planned on not contacting him for 6 months to a year or more. We both need a break but I’m worried I did irreparable damage when I could have gotten him back.

    Help! I’d love your thoughts.

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