The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Strategy That Works On Your Ex

6,803 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

Katie

April 4, 2015 at 8:16 pm

Hey Chris,

I left you a couple of comments on here around about 3 weeks back. I spoke of a close friend whom, showed interest in me towards the beginning of our communicating, though as time went on and I grew more attached, he pulled away and blocked me on all forms of communication, but email. After three weeks of NC and a few thought out messages telling him how great my life’s going for me lately, he got in contact with me today. Told me he’d like to speak again, but it will take some time for that to happen as it did before, “if ever”. Would the best thing to do in this situation is to continue NC and not to reply to his message at this point? He ended his message telling me that there was no need for me to reply to him. If I respect his wish and do not reply, this will be the first time I would have fully respected his wish and not replied when he’s contacted. Therefore, despite him asking me not to reply, he’ll no doubt be expecting a reply. Shall I change this by not responding to add value?
Marsha

April 4, 2015 at 11:38 am

I sm not sure how to react, please help. Me and my ex have been in LDR for 9 months. We had problems before caused mainly by me and the last fight took place when I refused quiting my job and followingmy ex. I didn’t know then that he was dating someone else behind my back too. I found out recently and went to his country to see him and spent 3 awesome days together remembering all the good times. He paid for our short vacation, was very attentive and cating and for a while I almost believed that he will decide to leave his new girlfriend, but in the end he did not….I returned home and he remeined home with his new girlfriend, although he is saying that he is confused and doesn’t really know whom to chose, but she lives there so it’s easier. He continued calling me every day and being very carring about me and my family, after all we had a 4 years relationship that was not always long distance. How should I react? Stop answering his calls or talk to him and ask him to mind his new life? I feel bad because I have part of the blame for the situation plus he is so nice to me still…. I want him back.
Cari

April 3, 2015 at 9:58 pm

Hello Chris,

My husband and I separated in mid-January And lived in separate households. We continued to see each other regularly and would even sleep together often. About two weeks ago he met a girl online and went on a date and ended up sleeping with her. He now stays the night at her house nearly every night and refuses to speak to me at all. We have two children and have to discuss them, but othe than that he won’t talk to me.

Because he practically lives with this girl should I keep trying? Should I just give up?
Cece

April 3, 2015 at 7:38 am

Hi
My BF broke up with me 7 months ago. totally out of the blue after 23 months together. I have 2 children from my marriage who adored him as did I. He’s ex forces and ex SF. He said he left the forces to find a family. He always said he couldnt have a family whilst in the forces. I adored that. He found me and we settled down quickly together after he told me he loved me first. I was determined not to say it first from previous experience. Everything was perfect and there was no arguing ever between us to suggest a break up was coming. I came home one night and he said he needed a change. I said a change is as good as anything as long as we’re in it with you and he didn’t say anything. My world came crashing down. He left that night. I couldn’t believe it. I gave him some space and it killed me. But we arranged to see each other to talk a week later. That afternoon he told me he loved me but wanted to get back into the forces. And couldn’t have a family back home waiting for him. He needed to have a clear head when he’s on ops. And having me and my kids pop into his head couldn’t happen. I told him I’d wait the 8 years til he’s decommissioned or that id follow him wherever he goes I go. I always said that to him. Anyway we chatted etc and we ended up making love. It was amazing. As always. Since then we have been doing the same every month or so. He comes round for tea and has stayed over a few nights too. But mainly he leaves. At first it hurt so badly when he left. But now I accept it. So in February I get a text from an unknown number I reply who’s that and I find out he’s been seeing another woman while he’s been sleeping with me. I find out lots of info from her and then ask him about her. He didn’t deny it. Just said it was a fling with her. I told him I wanted him and as we’re not together officially i Could deal with it. I’d been dating to keep myself occupied while my kids were at their dad’s on weekends when I had nothing to do. It was fun but I didn’t want them. I wanted my ex. I slept with one man once who was lovely and liked me but i didnt want a relationship I told him it wouldnt work. My ex said he didn’t mind that I may have been on dates etc. It was my choice. I didnt admit to seeing other men. I was scared incase he used it as an excuse to never see me again. I dont want anyine else. I digress. So after I find out about him and the other woman I leave him alone for a day or so but he looks after my websites for me so I had to contact him as I was trying to do it myself and got mixed up. We got chatting and after a couple of weeks we were back to sleeping with each other again. However this week I got upset when he didn’t reply to texts etc so i send him a text saying that I will be leaving him alone from now on etc. It was awful. I was in a mess and crying so much and was in so much pain. The day after I contacted him saying I can’t do it. He said do what. Btw he never replied to my text of don’t see me anymore. He’s so good at that and that hurts me. So we’ve chatted again and he’s been short and that’s annoyed me. But I’ve told him I will take whatever small part of him that I can get. I want him and I love him. I found your article yesterday and felt I needed to contact you. Do you think he will ever come back to me and my kids? Hes finding out soon if he gets back into the forces and Im worried if I do the NC rule of 30 days he won’t tell me. He’s off doing things with his mates and family this weekend. I’m am too. Oh I think I should say he defriended me on facebook in early Oct. I think when he statred seeing the other woman from what she said As to when they started seeing each other. I hate the fact he did that to me. All other lines of communication are open. We use whatspp And email ocaissionally. I deleted my fb account the 1st wkd we broke up cos I couldn’t bear to see him out and he saw me the day after and said someone’s blocked me. I said who? And genuinely was thinking one of my friends had blocked him and I named a few and he said no and looked at me and I said no no I didn’t I deleted my account but it’s back up now. I asked how he knew and he said he was looking for the pics of the kids on a hol we’d just taken a week before we broke up and he couldn’t find them. he knew I was back online after I showed him. I wouldn’t ever have deleted him and i told him that but he did it to me. I hate that he did it to me. I want to be able to see his page if anything happens to him in the forces as I want to be able to look back on things we did together. I wamt people to know who i was/am to him. I do have 2 other accounts that I use for my businesses and he set them up for me and he has defriended me on one of them. The other he never was a friend on there. But he hasn’t blocked me on either of these like he has on my personal account. I check up on him through the accounts. I cannot see much as he’s locked it down fairly tight. But I can see he’s still liked my business pages and my son’s charity page. All of which he set up. Why hasn’t he unliked the pages? Why has he just done my personal page. I can’t ask him cos he’ll know I’ve been stalking him. It’s bad I know but I can’t help it. yesterday was my last contact with him. I know he’ll not be in touch this weekend as he’s busy training and seeing family. Should I do the 30 day NC?? I just want to be officially with him. For him to be mine. He told me recently just to be his. I told him I would be. there’s so much more to tell but my thumbs are aching and I have to go to meet my friend for a run. I have been busy running which I did when I was with him anyway. I have joined charity groups to do volunteer work too Since we broke up. I’m trying to keep busy to improve myself. Not really to get him to notice but for myself. But i find myself thinking of him all of the spare time I have. I look forward to hearing from you.
molly

April 2, 2015 at 11:11 pm

So I’ve been reading all your pieces and your ebook. Love how you explain things! I’ve written before. My ex and I have a baby expected this June. And he has been up and down with his feelings. He has the initial ” my life is over ” reaction. A few weeks ago he began distancing from me completely. What made it really hard was that his family had no idea he was no longer communicating with me. They’ve been super suppotive of me this entire pregnancy. I finally implemented no contact on him after he basically completely pushed me away. I’ve kept no contact for 14 days. He did reach out on day 10. Saying he just wanted to know how me and the baby are doing and added that he really “hopes everything is OK.” I didn’t respond. His sister got a hold of me a little over aweek ago and told me that “she thinks” he ” just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone right now .. And has distanced because he doesn’t want to lead me on. But he just can’t keep his hands off me. ” after telling me that (which didn’t really make me feel better).. She let me know that he has severe anxiety disorder. That he is shower confused and doesn’t know what he wants, and that’s also why he’s distanced from me. She added that I should work on a friendship with him.. But try to be understanding and patient if he should decide after our baby is born that he does want to be with me… I told her after that that I am working on moving on and not having those feelings anymore for him.. She got upset that I said that… Than two days later. He contacted me after 10 days of no contact between us. I’m completely confused as of what I should do. I love him, but have no idea if he feels that way for me at all. I feel that his family is trying to keep me open to us getting together again in the future.. But even there, they’ve confused me. I’m on day 14 of no contact but don’t know if I should bother contacting until after the baby is born. I’ve stopped talking to his sister now too. I’ve read your piece on how to get your ec back when you’re pregnant.. But this situation is a little different as we did get back together once since finding out I’m pregnant.. And now its like he’s reverted back to freak out mode.. But worse. Any thoughts on how to handle his severe anxiety? And should I stretch no contact out further?

admin

April 7, 2015 at 8:20 pm

Did you read my pregnancy article? I think that would help you a lot.

Ashley

April 2, 2015 at 3:39 am

I had been seeing this guy for about 2 months after about two wks we slept togather and he said we were fwb Because he wanted to take things slow. We continued to hang out normally at his place. I would cook or pick dinner and we just chill after I got off work and days I was not in college. He worked night so we would hang out till he left. He went to a bar and party last saturday and since than i haven’t head from him. Its bEen three days. I tried to text call but nothing. I stated NC and it’s just day 1. Will it work since we were just fWb. He seemed to care.

admin

April 3, 2015 at 12:00 am

You are trying to shed the FWB label.

Rebecca

March 30, 2015 at 7:14 pm

My ex boyfriend recently broke up with me, it’s been a few days and I’ve tried so hard to get him back. We were together over a year broke up then a month later we started dating again (for around 4 months). Now he wants nothing to do with me, he tells me to leave him alone and he doesn’t want to see me, I tried everything and I just think there’s no hope. If I try the no contact rule do you think he will come back? He is a massive PC gamer and seems to be playing that.. Will there be any chance he will end up coming back? The break up was sudden and had no explanation to it at all. I just need advice and I really don’t know what to do!
Melissa

March 30, 2015 at 2:27 am

Hi Chris,
My ex and I remained FWB for 6 months after our breakup. About 5 months into this, I noticed him expanding his social circle with women. I decided to do the same and accepted a date from a guy. The date never ended up happening, but long story short- I wound up telling my ex about the date. He seemed surprised and kept bringing the topic up over the days following. He became very irritated one day and was very firmly stating to me not tell him about my dating life, that he didn’t need to know, and that I should keep it on a need to know. He created an argument with me, swearing up and down he doesn’t care what I do, and a few days later said we could no longer be friends, deleted me on Facebook and and snapchat. he said a lot of hurtful things but I took the high road and responded as calmly as possible. It has now been about 10 days into the no contact. He has not contacted me. We have know each other for 2 years, and been through 2 breakups. We haven’t gone more than one day without talking to each other in two years through all of that, so this is very unusual. Should I give up hope and believe what he says about not wanting to be in my life? Should I continue the no contact and plan to contact him, or just plan on never talking to him again?

admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:14 pm

He seems jealous.

Yes I would continue it on him.

nyc

March 29, 2015 at 12:50 pm

Hi Chris,

What if after the NC of 30 days, and he asked why do i ignored him and he got angry because i didnt wish him for his birthday. what should i say?

admin

March 29, 2015 at 1:56 pm

Say you weren’t ready to talk to anyone at that time.
nyc

March 29, 2015 at 2:47 pm

what if he gets really mad that i did not wish him?
Val

April 8, 2015 at 3:08 am

He will have plenty of other people to wish him Happy Birthday. That alone does not change Someone’s mind about you. We are grown people, a child should be angry about there Birthday not being wished not an Adult. I hope this helps.

Chloe

March 28, 2015 at 9:50 pm

My ex and I broke it off after 10 months together. He was the pursuer in the beginning when I was still seeing other people, wrote me a love letter, and I decided to commit. He called every day, and at first I found that annoying. I then settled into realizing there was real love there, and to feel worthy of it, vulnerable to it, and accept it. He would talk about traveling with me, moving with me in a years time, etc. He was solid in his love for me. After a few months he got really busy with work, and just stopped doing the calling and texting. He couldn’t set aside a date night, couldn’t every make plans with me, and just said things like “sorry but Im way to busy and I can’t give you that.” It then became a matter of me dealing with his silence and begging for answers, only to be told maybe he wasn’t as ready as he thought, after I finally let my guard down. Since the breakup (which started seeming like a possibility In January, but actually occurred at the end of February) he has said he still loves me but doesn’t know what that love means, needs to focus on himself, is too busy etc. He also took an impromptu trip and decided he might move to the city he visited and doesn’t think he can see me in his travels anymore. He does call and text but very rarely, and I have definitely been the one doing most of the contacting. We have slept together, hugged, kissed, and theres a lot of feeling there for both of us still. It has been off and on but with no guarantee of commitment on his end, and no clarity. He says he doesn’t want to give me hope (although the nights with him give me hope even if its false hope.) I have read many of your posts and listen to your podcast. I guess I am asking if it is too late to successfully implement no contact now, and wondering if it will be less effective. We have had mini no contact periods but I was always the first to cave. I need that reassurance that its still worth doing. Thank you for all your insights!

Chloe

March 30, 2015 at 1:50 pm

He also said he would be okay with us going back to “dating.” So, he as agreed to hang out here and there and turn back the clock to before the commitment. To me this seems unnatural and gives him everything he wants without having to put in any effort. The most complicated part is we have so many mutual friends. I have been keeping busy and working out, being social etc… but its impossible not to run into him if I don’t want to totally alienate all my friends (they have been so helpful and crucial to me keeping busy and not staying in all the time.) You have a post about situations where the no contact rule needs to be adapted. In this case, my biggest fear is needing to cut off all my social ties in order to avoid him. Is it possible that a heavily overlapping social circle is another situation where NC can be adapted but still implemented?
Kaeren

April 1, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Would love to hear a response to Chloe’s question – I’m in a similar predicament except I work with my ex (he’s the boss) so there has to be contact
admin

April 2, 2015 at 11:43 pm

I cover it here,

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-handle-every-situation-during-the-no-contact-rule/
Chloe

April 4, 2015 at 5:33 pm

You have a pretty straightforward approach to many of the situations in the link above (Bdays, living together etc.) and I’m sure it can get very repetitive to be asked the same things. Im glad you made a page to redirect to when you get those questions. I read all of it, and I can definitely take away a lot of the advice and apply it to my situation even though it’s not specifically covered there. I do feel like it would be helpful to many people to add the whole mutual friends and social circle issue- as Im sure its very common and also very complex. For example, I could run into my ex at a live music show (we have the same tastes in music and friends, bound to happen) and use your advice to keep it short and simple but not rude.. to look good and show that Im having a good time etc. However, when it comes down to it some of my best friends want to remain friends with both of us, invite us to things separately but also occasionally invite both and not worry, it gets hard. You mentioned being social and getting out and about and having fun, moving on without moving on and all that. To avoid him completely or even to simply not have the intention of seeing him is to avoid fun events and gatherings and alienate my friends. Believe me I have considered it. But I want to continue to enjoy my friendships with my favorite people. He is friends with everyone in this small city- and is very involved in the community as well- which is also hard. I think this is it’s own issue and Im curious if you have any experience with discussing it with some of the other ladies on here. Thanks Chris!

Barb

March 28, 2015 at 9:17 pm

I was dating this guy for about 2 months. We had been talking for 7 months before he decided he wanted it to go somewhere. Just some background, he has been in long term relationships that led to marriage proposals but they declined and he’s now kinda a recluse when it comes to dating. He works a lot and focuses on himself. He’s a little selfish as well. I am way above him education and status wise but we have a strong connection and I never cared about status anyway. So I’ve brought up where the relationship was going a couple of times and have been needy on occasion. Mostly, it’s a reaction to him not communicating with me. He would not respond to texts or phone calls for 1-2 days, which annoyed me. Whenever I brought this up he would say it annoyed him. Anyway, I went out of town for work and then drove back to see him but he was very busy. He refused to make time to see me. So I went to his work to see him. Things seemed fine. Then I went back to my city of work and texted him that I was sorry for bugging him so much. He texted back that he was sick of us having the same discussion about this…I’m guessing he meant the conversation of us not connecting as much as I would like. Anyway, I took that as a break up text and stopped contacting him altogether. Is this an appropriate context for NC? Or should I confirm that we are indeed broken up first? By the way, he never wanted to confirm that we were together…he said it stressed him out. He only said we were exclusively seeing each other and he wanted to keep it that way. Thanks!!

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:12 pm

Yes it is an appropriate context!
Barb

March 29, 2015 at 11:40 pm

So if his last text to me said he was sick of the conversation about our relationship and that he didn’t want or need it…then that doesn’t mean it’s over? Or it does? I’m just wondering because what’s the point of NC if we’re not broken up? And if we are indeed broken up, then someone who is sick of the stress of the relationship wouldn’t ever want to get back with me right?

Jay

March 27, 2015 at 12:40 am

So I left an earlier comment (no rush to reply!), but my birthday is coming up in April. I just started the no contact rule, but from how it ended between us, I feel like it might have a good chance at working out again. He had told me that he needed some alone time, but that I was one of the best people to walk into his life and he didn’t know what was wrong with him.

In case you haven’t read my comment, we’ve been dating for 4 months and it was great up until i wanted to spend more time with him. He plays video games a lot (like i mean a lot!!) and i was completely cool about it. I like video games too, but i just wanted to spend more time with him since we only go one day a week to see each other since our schedules were so busy.

Long story kinda short, he cut it off with me saying that he couldn’t balance it out and it wasn’t fair to me; that i would be better off without him. It could be that he was too afraid to break it off with me, but i feel like maybe he just doesn’t know what he wants. I want to try to get him back since we did have a really good dynamic with each other, but i dont know what to do if he wishes me a happy birthday. Does the no contact rule still apply or should i reply back with a simple thank you and then proceed with no contact?

admin

March 29, 2015 at 3:04 pm

Unfortuanately you will have to ignore him…

Zenyth

March 24, 2015 at 3:28 pm

My ex and I broke up a little over 3 weeks ago. Right after we broke up I started the NC portion, three days into which he contacted me asking how I was doing. It took me 2 days to respond on because I didn’t know if I should break it or not to answer his question. In a bit of frustration I responded saying that I was doing well and thanked him for asking. The day after I thought I would text him and let him know that with everything that had happened, that while I enjoyed hearing from him I was just not in a place where I felt comfortable and that I would get back with him when I was. Of course he blew up at me just a bit and before you know it I was at his place crying and telling him that I wanted him back. Fast forward just a bit I was asked for my hand by my former-ex and I almost said yes but his horrible temper is cause for question. Ended up texting my ex, who I have been in constant contact with about the whole thing. He told me that he had found someone new but mentioned that he still thinks about me and reminisces about our happy memories. We made a pact that if neither of our current situations worked out, that we would explore being together again, on the stipulation that we can learn to trust eachother again. Having that conversation gave me the strength to again begin NC but with a stronger and different mindset. Now here is my dilemna. We work right down the street from eachother and on any given day there is a high chance of him driving by me while I am walking to work. It has happened several times before and happened today. What should I be doing?

admin

March 31, 2015 at 6:46 pm

Continue to ignore him but if he approaches you be nice but a little short with him.

Mimi

March 23, 2015 at 12:57 pm

Hi Chris,

I moved out on my bf of 3 years in Jan for soul searching reasons. We agreed to stay together but after my move out he became distant and said that the move was a slap in his face and he didn’t know how to handle it any more. He ended up ending things with my at the end of Jan sayign he needed space and time to cool off bc his anxiety was through the roof.

Since then for the entire month of Feb and part of March, I showed up at the house we lived in and cried, sent him emails, drunk dialed once, etc. etc. I hit rock bottom a week ago when I showed up at the house thinking he was “cheating” on me during this limbo only to have him tell me he had someone house sitting. We hugged each other and told each other we loved each other. He was confused why I was going so crazy.

I decided I needed time to cool of and get my emotions in check. I left to visit family out of state and am with them now for 2 weeks. I texted him from the airport and he called and said he never stopped loving or caring about me and that he thought me moving out would be a step back but that we would get back together and we haven’t – part of it is because he keeps having anxiety every time he thinks about me and our last year together where i was pushing engagement/kids/selling house, etc. which I now realize I was wrong to do so.

We left it off at let’s touch base when I get back – he’s texted me once since to see if I landed safely to which I said I did thank you. And I’ve gone dark since.

It’s really hard, because it’s been what feels to me like forever since he ended things with me at the end of Jan and I’m confused as to why he hasn’t found time to try to mend things between us if he says he loves me. I’m thinking it’s the anxiety and the fact that I have been so pushy these last few months.

Do you think NC will still work in this case…?
Lisa

March 23, 2015 at 12:41 pm

Hi Chris and all the ladies.
I just wanna share my experience with this NO CONTACT RULE and how it works for me, but first let me share my story.
My boyfriend (yep I win him back ) and I has been good friends even before we started dating. I could tell him everything even the most embarrassing stuffs and vice versa. We got other friends that we never like though but we move way past that and respect our friends. It’s been years that we stayed best of friends. Well, the more we talked the more we get close and to cut the story short, we became a couple.
At first, I was really hesitant because I know everything will going to change. There are lots of factors to consider and one of them is me having a child already. He loves my kid (more than me ) btw, or so he says. Anyway, it was never been a problem at the beginning of the relationship. So, he convinced me to give it a shot and I agreed. The first few months were really amazing. Imagine having a boyfriend and a best friend in one. I really couldn’t ask for more.
But like any other relationship, we did experience downfall and it’s really hard. He started to get sad that he’s not the father of my kid, he’s time is consumed with video games, series that we started to talk less and less. My mistake was that, I didn’t tell him that it wasn’t okay. I was like, “yeah, it’s okay”, “I understand”. I guess I’m avoiding arguments. I didn’t know he thinks differently, it was like he felt I changed because it was okay for me, not to talk to him that much, said he was just testing me. That really made me angry coz I’m not a testing ground. That was the start of the on and off of our relationship. He always dumped me and I always plead to get back to me. I never did break up with him even once coz if I said it, it would be final. And then one day, I got tired of his sh*ts and finally got the courage to break up with him. I was decided that time even though I really love him a lot. He never even argues. He said okay and that he wanted to stay friend. I didn’t do the NC rule at first. I mean, if he texted me, like “what’s up”, I replied really late and said NM (nothing much). I was also thinking deeply whether I still want him in my life, was thinking what makes me happier, with or without him. And I feel so empty without him. I feel like an autopilot, clinging to our memories and cried everyday. I was so tempted to text him and tell him how I feel but I READ what Chris have written here everyday. The “I don’t care about him” became my mantra. It wasn’t true but it really makes me feel better. I busied myself, get a new job, everything to take my mind off him. He texted me, saying “I miss you” but I just simply ignore. Mind you, it was very hard that sometimes I wanna give up and tell him I miss him too. He even sent me songs that we used to listen together! And yes, it’s so true, when you ignore them, they will lost, especially in my case that we used to text a lot even if we meet every day.
He snaps at this point, so one time, I was with a friend (he doesn’t like him), when we were a couple, he doesn’t even want me to talk to him. So yeah, I was having coffee with this friend. It wasn’t my intention to get him jealous, I just wanna reconnect with friends whom I stopped talking just coz he doesn’t want to. I didn’t even know we were gonna see him. It was like 28 days of NC. After a few hours, he called me. I used to ignore his calls too but ugh, it’s almost 30 so I did answer. Oh man, he was so mad, told me he saw us having a “date”, and that I was insulting him coz I went out with his enemy, that I backstabbed him, that I don’t respect him. Oh well, he’s not the only one who snapped. I did too, I was so mad! Told him, it’s not his business anymore he shouldn’t care coz I really don’t give a damn if he’s gonna be seeing someone else. Oh well, in the end he admitted that he was jealous and apologize. It’s the first time he cried over our relationship. He told me he wants us back. But I really don’t want an on and off thing again. We became friends again, and realized what went wrong with the relationship and take things slow. Now, we are a couple again, but unlike before, we feel secure and have time for each other now.
Thank You Chris!

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:50 pm

Super glad that you got your ex boyfriend back!

I am really happy to hear this.

Shaba

March 23, 2015 at 3:55 am

I’ve been with this person for about 7-8 months now and we were doing good. We are both girls.. It was all new to both of us, it was extremely hard for me because my work is Christian and they’re always talking about how wrong it is. My family new her family knew it was just my work could not know. I kinda didn’t show my love as much as I should have it was because I was scared about my work Nd stuff. Anyways 3 days before we really broke up she started being distant and saying she would stay at her house so we need space and what not.. Mind you she sleeps at my house every single night, that already made my mind wonder.. She did that for a few days and one night she gave in and said she would stay over.. Her alarm on her phone went off so I wrnt to turn it off learned she changed her password and her phone was blown up for the night spend at my house so I asked her about it she finly came out and said it was her ex. She said they been talking for a few days and he filled her mind and been making her think, mind you he left when she was pregnant and then she lost her baby in an accident and then never check on her of she was ok? Anyways so I forgave her a day later and she ended up staying the night again for a couple days.. Then she asked to be together again, it was going fine I started actually showing her my full love for her cuz I knew how much I didn’t wanna lose her. Then the very next day after she asked to be together again she texts me at work saying that he texted her saying he was arriving in town that night and if he could pick her up,, I begged and begged for her to not and that she just asked me Lastnight, she told me she had too and she can’teave him stranded.. Then she says she doesn’t know about us And that she didn’t know he really would be back in town and that she needs to do this for her son (that she lost).. She says she needs closure. Says she loves me and sees a future with me but needs to do this. I said ok and didn’t talk to her for 2 days she contacted me saying she loves me.. Then the next day she says she sorry for everything.. Then she texts saying if I’m really gonna ignore her forever.. Well that day on my lunch I went to see her to drop off whatever of hers that I had.. She cried when she saw me and told me if I’m gonna ignore her forever and that she loves me and misses me.. Says that I look happy. She asked for a hug and I did. I left then that night I texted her a bit and I asked if she gonna be with him and she says no she doesn’t see that. And that she sees me and her being together in the future but she need to do this. Then the rest of that night I didn’t hear from her..thenthe next day I still didn’t hear anything. So I went to her work on my lunch again and said I tried texting she says her phone went off and that she can only recieve incoming calls. Ask if she was still coming to my sisters party she says she still too emotional.. I asked if she would pick me up from the bar and we can hang out if she doesn’t come she says she would like too but then she says she suppose to go with her dad somewhere. She had to get back to work and told me to call when she gets off cuz she only has incoming calls.. So I did and she tells me that she isn’t gonna come with us and that she can’t pick me up. I asked if I could come by so I can get my daughters car seat and she said that won’t be a good idea cuz he her ex that she been texting and went to pick up was on his way to pick up his shoes he left in the car. But when I went to her work her car wasn’t that earlier thT day so in my head I’m thinking he had it. So he was already there and that’s why she was also rushing me off phone.. So I got super upset and went in my house and packed up all I could of her. The promise ring she gave me the letter that came with it my valentines earings and knecklace and had my sister drive me there and drop it off. Arrive and honked horn.. She came out we got out I went up and gave her it and asked if I could get the seat in her car she went in the house to get the keys!!..also her keys never had menchies spoons hanging on it but it did when she brought it out.. Came back out and said to take it back the jewelery and I said it’s not mine she says it is and to take it I grab then seat and walked away.. As I walked away she started crying and I drove away.. Haven’t heard from her since. Her phone is off so that could be why? Or she just don’t care? Or she is actually with him and don’t want me to get hurt? What do I do? What’s the best thing to do?

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:36 pm

Have you read my other site,

Ex Girlfriend Recovery?

Jason

March 22, 2015 at 6:22 pm

Hi, I really like the sound of this technique however im not sure whether it is right to use in my situation. I would really appreciate it if you could give some advice on helping me get back with my ex.

My ex broke up with me a few days ago as she felt I wasnt showing the affectiom she wanted and I wasnt starting conversations which made her feel uncomfortable. We had been going on 5 months and near the end of the relationship I started to take it for granted and thought she was overreacting. However, one day she decided enough was enough and she didnt want to be in yhis relationship anymore no matter what I said. I accepted that what she was saying was right and only when I lost her is when I realised how much I really liked her and didnt want it to end. I attempted to explain that I had so many feelings for her and I was silly for not showing her and that I wanto make it right but she didnt believe any of it. She was really cold and bitter when ending the relationship which caught me by surprise but I believe she still cares and knows I was hurt by it. Since the day that happened I havent contacted her as I understand she dosent want to talk to me right now. I wanted to know whether I should continue using this no contact rule and whether you truly believe this would be a positive step in getting us back together

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:03 pm

I think its right for your situation.

Though you are on the wrong site.

You should head over to Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

Katy

March 22, 2015 at 3:59 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about two months ago because I didn’t feel like I was a priority in his life. He accepted it and I regretted it. It was a pretty messy break up. I did everything you shouldn’t do. Begged, pleaded, argued, fought etc. We started to do this “dating” thing to see how it would go but just last week i realized he doesn’t want to be with me right not and he’s really just being nice. I have started the NC rule about 8 days ago. not just to try and get him back but it’s also my way of dealing with this whole thing. Is it too late to start the NC rule? Do I still have a chance of getting him back? He’s texted me once in these 8 days, I didn’t text back and I don’t think he’ll try again. We broke up once before for 3 months and we didn’t talk for a whole month while he was in Ecuador and as soon as he got back he go in touch with me. How do you know if it’s really over or not? I just can’t see myself with anyone else. It’s been really hard.
Adeline

March 22, 2015 at 1:37 pm

Hi Chris, I finally finished my 30 days NC. I just texted my ex after and his reply was friendly. During the 30 days, he did not contact me at all. He’s currently overseas on a school trip for 3 months and we broke up in the midst of it. Is this normal? Or have I been friendzoned and he’s moving on already? What should I do next?

Appreciate your help and reply.

admin

March 22, 2015 at 5:56 pm

You got a reply that is a good sign.

Now, you just need to text him in the right way.
Adeline

March 24, 2015 at 12:48 pm

Thanks for your reply Chris! Your website is really useful and have many great tips to follow!

He did reply with a lot of smiley emoticons during our text. And he also worried for my safety and asked me to take good care of myself. Does that mean that he might want things to work out again? Or am I taking this in the wrong aspect where he would want to just remain friends?

AAYRA

March 22, 2015 at 8:25 am

i had a love affair in college, in 1992. But the amn got married to another girl though he knew i loved him, now, 1n 2014, i met him again, we talked and talked over phone, both of us are maried and have kids, his is 2 nd marriage . w e met in a hotel , spent 5 hours of beautiful time, had sex, and left, he kissed me and said he loved me more. but after that day, he is avoiding me, not answering my calls, once he took the phone and talked as if nothing happened . what should i do now

admin

March 22, 2015 at 5:45 pm

Is he still married?

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