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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
Sarah
November 22, 2013 at 11:49 am
I was his first real girlfriend, when I do the NC rule will that just make him wonder why I haven’t contacted more since I was his first?
admin
November 22, 2013 at 8:11 pm
Yes but it will do a lot of other things like make him go crazy, make him miss you and let you get your emotions in check.
Sarah
November 23, 2013 at 12:25 pm
So odds are he will contact me because I’m doing that?
admin
November 23, 2013 at 8:35 pm
Can’t guarantee it but it will incresase your chances.
sandra
November 22, 2013 at 6:54 am
Hey my situation is lightly different. after we broke up i blocked him on Skype whatsapp and tango. then he blocked me on Facebook. but i made the mistake of calling him yesterday 7 days into the no contact (on the advice of my cousins). He told me he thinks about me everyday since we broke up. However he said that he doesn’t want to get back into a relationship because he is scared that he is going to mess it up.
We broke up because of an argument. However I feel its stupid to break up because of this. One of the things the site mentions is that i should work on my relationship with his mates. One of his close friends is an older goth a girl who doesn’t like me entirely. I feel that she is the main reason for why he doesn’t want to get back with me. Will the NC work in this case or am i wasting my time?
admin
November 22, 2013 at 7:55 pm
I can’t guarantee it will work but it will definitely improve your chances.
licia
November 22, 2013 at 5:27 am
I have issue doing the no contact rule. I’m feeling very hopeless.. I have been emotionally abused but finding myself still wanting to go back to him.
I could still remember in the relationship, during our fights, he would rolled his eyes when I tried apologizing or talking to him (even when i wasn’t at fault) .. he withold affection, left me crying alone and mentioned i’m not worth it, the relationship should end as it is more negative than positive and that I have been a “burden” to him.
much time, he would be angry for days.
i wanted to free myself from this emotional burden. We both broke up. Deep down I know I don’t want and can’t be back together with this man. It has been clear he doesn’t love me but my heart is aching and wanted to do otherwise.. 🙁
admin
November 22, 2013 at 7:45 pm
Let me ask you. In the long run do you think being with him is the best idea?
Reba
November 22, 2013 at 4:57 am
My bf and I were together for almost two years and were always breaking up and getting back together. At the end of September we broke up and all off October we still would hangout and occasionally hook up. At the beginning of November he told me he didn’t think we should hangout anymore but talking was okay. Well, that eventually led to him not wanted to talk anymore at all. Then for whatever reason I just couldn’t stop talking to him or thinking about him so yes, I turned into that crazy ex gf who wouldn’t stop texting him every few days. I know I never thought I’d be “that girl”. Then he messaged me and said he needs some space and time to think things through and I should do the same. Well, I still would try talking to him and sometimes I would get no response. Then one night I got a call from him saying he though a lot about what I said and wanted me to come over. I did..all he wanted was a sleepover buddy nothing more. Today, I texted him and pretty much pored my heart out and he told me he doesn’t feel the same about me anymore and I didn’t respect his wishes of not talking to him before. After reading this article I realized it’s going to be hard to do the 30 day challenge. but it seems like it’d what I have to do for myself at least. My only question is do you think my ex would even be willing to get back together during this time. Will this possibly work for us?
admin
November 22, 2013 at 7:44 pm
It depends. Does he view you as his ungettable girl?
lizzie
November 21, 2013 at 1:08 pm
Hi I dont know what to do. Me and my ex boyfriend brpke up about 2 year ago and we got back in contact this year which was (amazin) I really love him I always have I made some mistakes we both did and we spilt, We never heard from each until this year, He tells me he will always love me and cared deeply for me, we meet and its great and its like falling more in love this time iv learnt a great deal about myself too I want to shpw him what he needs to me but as soon as we are apart after spending days with eachother he becomes distand for a while I tell him how I feel but he isnt a sensitive people like me. he will contact me weeks later and it will be great again iv been so patient for him to get back together he tells me in the future But while we are together it amazin I dont understand It likei have to pick up all the piece again and again Do you think the nc will be good effect for me ???
admin
November 21, 2013 at 8:22 pm
It should! Just make sure you keep the focus on you and work on bettering yourself.
lizzie
November 22, 2013 at 1:49 pm
Thanks for ur advice over the year I have changed my aperience and feel and look better but lacking in confidence how to start all over again and to get him to express his feelings too. as we are also close friends x
Hailey
November 21, 2013 at 12:55 pm
I broke up with my bf 5days ago.I hav just started NC 3 days ago.
We hav dated for abt 10 months. We r both first dates in our lives. We both don’t know much how to handle a relationship. He was so good to me at first. He would do for me everything he could with what he knows.But i was so selfish,bad, rude n always finding problem n i wasn’t aure i love him or not. Later he also changed into a rude guy that i couldn’t believed. Our last 3 months was filled with fighting. He left me with the words ‘u destroyed my last 10 months n i don’t like anything in u now! do not disturb me anymore. i m fed up being in a relationship!’
now i regret so much n i want him back n make things right. he is the first boy in my life. i m sure i want him back although he changed.
but he is now becoming both ‘THE ANGRY GUY’ n ‘the clueless guy’
plus we hav important exm on coming february.he may b just focusing on it n forgetting me.
We r i the some batch of college that i may see him sometimes.
DO I STILL HAVE CHANCE?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 8:18 pm
Of course! Just keep on keeping on. You are going to make it.
Shannon
November 21, 2013 at 7:02 am
Hello Chris
I have read your website and I have found it all very interesting.
I was just wondering if you could please offer your advice on my current situation.
My boyfriend has been pulling back and I could sense that he may end it.
I am away at the moment, I have been for two weeks so far and will be for another two weeks. He hasn’t been talking to me much since I have been down here, but he has never been one for talking a lot so it was only a slight difference. I sent him a text 3 days ago and he replied late that night with a quick reply then another text saying that he wanted to come down on the weekend to get lunch and talk… This was 12.20 am Tuesday morning. Since this message was weird and I knew where it was heading I called him and we had the I don’t think we should be together talk and the I love you but I am not inlove with you conversation. He said that he was still going to come down Saturday because he didn’t want to talk over the phone. I didn’t cry on the phone and beg him to stay I just listened and told him how I felt. I haven’t contacted him since as I don’t want to seem desperate.
What I would like to ask is I want to be with him, I don’t however know how I should handle the weekend talk when he comes down. Should I tell him I want him to say, listen to him and acknowledge that changes would need to be made if we did stay together but if he says no respect his decision and don’t push it, then start the no contact phase or should I not push it and just when he is here and act as though I am ok with the decision? I don’t want to miss out on the opportunity that he may agree to try and fix things. We have been together 3 years in 11 days:( Also in case it makes a difference he is my first boyfriend and I am his first full on serious girlfriend. He also said on the phone that he wants to experience life. I don’t think he means sexual although he could…. I cant read his mind… but he has been going out with Uni friends a lot more lately, so I don’t know why he feels he cant do that if he is with me as I have never stopped him.
Any help would be very appreciated 🙂
Thank you 🙂
admin
November 21, 2013 at 7:48 pm
Have you done your NC rule yet?
Ashley
November 21, 2013 at 4:01 am
Hello Chris!
I’m really glad that I happened upon your site today. It has been really insightful, but I may have a bit of a dilemma that I hope you’ll be able to guide me through.
My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me almost a month ago after an awful fight. Since then, I have admittedly broken the NC rule — 4 days afterwards, I sent him a text attempting to reconcile. No response. A week after that, I followed up with a Facebook message that he pointedly refused to check. 2 weeks later, during a very emotionally heavy night, I called him, which as expected, went ignored. I sent him one final text that same week telling him that I would stop pestering him, and that although I was still in love with him, I would not continue talking to a wall, and I wouldn’t wait forever. In this spurt of post-breakup independence, I unfriended him on Facebook and blocked him on my other social media sites.
After reading a few of your posts, however, I realized that I may have put myself in a bad position.
Is there any way I can recover from the mistakes that I’ve made and somehow win him back?
I intend on implementing the NC rule at least until January, when the stress of our last year in high school calms down, and improving myself the ways that you have suggested.
However, how can I keep him within reach during this time? I fear that the more time passes, the more he will forget and move on. And since we are no longer friends on Facebook, he won’t know what I’ve been up to, or even that I exist! This has really been discouraging in my attempts to better myself.
What would you suggest that I do?
Thank you again for the wonderful advice!
admin
November 21, 2013 at 7:13 pm
I think you implementing NC is a really smart way to approach things.
However, try not to get discouraged by all the other stuff ok. Just focus on what you need to focus on.
Daisy Santana
November 20, 2013 at 11:36 pm
I was involved in a 4 month relationship ship one day we were lovey dovey and the next day I wake up to this cold text message that he wants to end it. I waited one day to respond. I called him a little distress..confused why he broke it off so sudden. He said he can only be friends…I was devastated…he was at work we couldnt talk much. This happened on Tuesday…yesterday. I blocked him on instagram and I blocked his cell number so he cannot text or call me. I feel sick to my stomach because I know he loves me. In the past I would cry and beg him but this time I’m acting strong even though I feel like I’m slowly dying inside. This is my first day of no contact. I hope it works. I want my baby back. Can someone please console me and tell me this nd works.
admin
November 21, 2013 at 6:45 pm
It works.
Have you seen the success section
Gwen
November 20, 2013 at 12:29 am
Hey Chris, me and my bf broke up in august because I was kind of wrong and believed lies from someone about him. We have had some contact in September and I have tried to act as if I was over him, but when he mentioned that he was talking to someone else I got a little and gave in. We have talked on & off untill last Saturday. I sent this poem of how I felt and he Asked did I right all it & how could I relate to it, but his cousin just grabbed the phone and started to chat which didn’t give him time to talk to me. He did tell me that it is a possibility that we can get back together in the future. We have been together for 14 months and I really consider him as my first love we currently go to different schools but we live nearly 15 minutes away. What do I do? He really isn’t the type that shows his feelings because he said he has been hurt in other relationships. Do I wait out for him? I’m stuck , will he find someone new & replace me permanently especially since we attend different schools now? I miss him a lot!
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:37 pm
What have you done so far? Any advice from this site?
Gwen
November 22, 2013 at 10:29 pm
I just started the NC rule.
Sarah
November 19, 2013 at 5:27 pm
Hi Chris,
Will keep it (kind of) short. My boyfriend dumped me a few days ago. Up until this point, I’ve found myself trying to talk to him pretty much every day. I don’t know why but I can’t stop. I’m feeling better today yet I couldn’t resist sending him a ‘hey :)’ text. I want to try NC but it’s getting started that’s scaring me. I want to work on being the best I can be, but I think I’ll end up sending him a text every day saying “oh look at what I’m doing now get back with me”. I really want to do this. I don’t understand why I can’t. I’ve even tried sending myself the texts that I want to send him, but not hearing from him is getting really difficult. I want to be back in control. Where can I start?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:08 pm
NC is really the best thing you can do at this point.
Sarah
November 20, 2013 at 8:33 pm
I started with NC again today. He said he’d text me today (which he did) and that we could talk (which we haven’t – so proud of myself already!). It sounds silly but I can see myself going through with it now.
However, the problem I see now is that we have mutual friends. We were both invited to a friend’s birthday party a while ago, and it’s in about 2 weeks. Should I avoid going?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 6:25 pm
No go and have fun..
Justine
November 19, 2013 at 5:04 pm
He asked for his hoodie back 4 days into NC. What do I do? Should I give it back to him in person and start NC all over again?
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:51 pm
Give it to him and no need to start over.
Jen
November 19, 2013 at 1:28 pm
Once you have completed 30 NC and you send THE text, how long should you reasonably expect to wait to receive a response?
Generally speaking, what’s the time frame for receiving a response – good or bad? Lol
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Good question. It varies situation to situation. Sometimes it can take minutes other times it could take days.
Jen
November 19, 2013 at 8:53 pm
Because I feel like my ex is trying to take the piss.
He has been tweeting all day, but hasn’t bothered to respond. What’s up with that?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:20 pm
He is giving you the brush off…
Jen
November 20, 2013 at 5:44 pm
That’s not good is it? 🙁
admin
November 21, 2013 at 5:34 pm
Whats not?
Jen
November 21, 2013 at 8:21 pm
The brush off 🙁
Jen
November 20, 2013 at 12:54 pm
Update!
Hey Chris,
So I thought I’d give you an update on the before launching into current events.
I broke up with my ex about a month ago and he cited his previous relationship as the reason why he couldn’t really give me his all. Things went downhill and I ended up messaging his ex, trying to find out if there was anything between them. She never responded, but obviously told him and he lost it. Told me to delete his number and everything. I text him/emailed him quite a few times after and he never responded. But, I said that I gave up trying to fight for us basically.
I did NC for 30 days. I knew that I couldn’t launch into ‘hey, are you okay, remember old times?’ because I knew that he would think it was random. So, I messaged him yesterday and basically said that ‘I know a lot had happened… I didn’t know what happened next or where we went from here, but I’d like to still be in your life. Miss you and our connection. How’s the football team?’ – He never responded. Instead, he was on Twitter like nothing happened.
I text him again this morning, basically saying that, ‘I know you feel like I’m probably dodging the elephant in the room, but I thought it was too soon to talk about it. I gathered that we would talk about it eventually, but just at a more appropriate time. I apologised for going behind his back and basically not giving him the opportunity to express himself.
He replied saying ‘This olive branch that you’re extending is mature of you but I think It’s best if we keep to no contact.’
I haven’t responded.
I feel a little defeated now. What should I do?
Sent from my iPhone
admin
November 20, 2013 at 6:02 pm
🙁
Give him space I guess for now. Time will pass this over..
Jen
November 20, 2013 at 6:21 pm
Well, I now think I’m ready to move on.
admin
November 21, 2013 at 5:54 pm
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-over-your-ex-boyfriend/
tina
November 19, 2013 at 11:26 am
Hello Chris! I need your advice again. We broke up around 5 months ago and he got in a rebound relationship only 3 weeks after our breakup. We had NC since August, then late September he started reaching out to me. We went out a few times in the past month. When he started contacting me, I was already in a much better place (new work situation, better fitness, socializing and even dating). So I was feeling very high the whole past month.
He was telling me about issues with his rebound girl and he was generally not happy. I was really high and wanted to support him. We had nice dates, and also spent two nights together. But of course my mistake is that I gave in too much too soon.
So then, last week he broke me the great news: “he likes hanging around with me and everything, and feels good around me, but he really can not be doing this because he feels bad for his rebound – with whom he wants to give it another go”.
So I told him OK, go and do your thing. But in the hour that followed I became a bit more emotional physically and we separated form our last meeting saying good luck to each other and “maybe in different timing or situations, we’ll se…”
And then I went into NC of course. (No other way to go).
My question is: do you think I should send him a NC message? Something simple, just to tell him that it’s better if he does not call me.
Because I am thinking he is left with the impression that I still have the hots for him, and that it’s OK to call me “sometime” if he feels like it. I’d like the opportunity to turn the table.
Or is it that real NC should imply that I just do not care to make any more assumptions of what he thinks, and just leave it there?
admin
November 19, 2013 at 7:19 pm
No just go right into NC no warnings.
ashley
November 19, 2013 at 2:26 am
Hi I have a question about something that i am going through. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and he broke up with me saying that I didnt care enough for him and that didnt feel loved , to be honest he was sort of verbally abusive in the relationship but i also said things to him that hurt him. he broke up with me 2 months ago . the first month I applied the no contact rule and i noticed that at work i got these private calls and as soon as i picked up and said my name they would hang up , this is definetely something that he would have done because he done it before in the relationship. but then after a month i texted him and he replied by blaming me and saying mean things and said that i should move on and that he didnt want to be with me. but i couldnt just let go so i texted him each week trying to reason with him that i love him and that sometimes partners say things to one another that hurts but they dont mean it and it doesnt mean that they dont love each other. but again he replied with mean comments and saying that he doesnt want to be with me and that i should move on . I was wondering what should i do at this point? i noticed one thing as well that after a week a no contact i still get private calls at work. if you can tell me what i should do i would appreciate it .
admin
November 19, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Stay in NC if you are doing it. Umm have you read the E-Book or the get him back guide yet?
ashley
November 19, 2013 at 11:20 pm
well i did not read the e-book but i read how to get him back guide. at this point I dont know what to do . everyday i am becoming worse. so you think i should continue no contact?
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:33 pm
Have you hit 30 days yet?
ashley
November 21, 2013 at 4:32 am
i believe not maybe like 20 days . is it too late to start the 30 days ? because it has been 2 months that we are broken up?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 7:14 pm
No way.. never toolate.
Shirley
November 18, 2013 at 5:48 pm
Hi Chris,
My ex boyfriend and I broke up about two and half months ago. We still kept in touch, but of course, fighting a lot as well. He told me he couldn’t focus on the relationship right now, and he had other stuff he needed to focus on, such as business and school. He had mentioned that he saw the future of us, but since we had been arguing so much, he felt hopeless. He is a fitness instructor, and i used to go to his classes. My question is: Does the 30 day NC rule still work even though we breakup two and months ago? Should I still go to his class? Is it still possible to get him back after he started feeling hopeless? Thanks!
admin
November 19, 2013 at 5:31 pm
Of course it does!
Shirley
November 18, 2013 at 5:51 pm
Oh, I forgot to mention. I was also used to help him a lot on his business, should I continue doing so? Thanks!
admin
November 19, 2013 at 5:33 pm
Only if your job absolutely requires it.
Pixie
November 17, 2013 at 9:37 pm
Hey so my ex texted me this week remarking on something I said from a previous convo (the first real one) after going nc for over 30days. I responded to him the next day it was pretty late when he texted me and I thought he should wait.
He then remarked that he would know about his next job the next week. I decided to be positive and say well hopefully it’s a good one! I’m heading out for drinks now ttyl (as a way to end the conversation) he wrote back “I just got back from drinks! #contrast” I didn’t respond and haven’t heard anything since. That was Thursday. Was this the right move? He still hasn’t really asked to hang out
admin
November 18, 2013 at 5:57 pm
Perfect move now its time for you to open up a nother convo but this time make it go just a bit deeper.
Kristen
November 17, 2013 at 8:25 pm
I completed 30 days of NC and then followed your guides after NC to reestablish contact. It seemed to be going well, and he was initiating contact on his own and sending me positive signs. After a few weeks, I asked him to hang out/get together. He said “no”. I then went back into NC. 4-5 days letter I get a REALLY long and emotional text from him. He said he is “angry with me”. He also said he “loves me so much”. He said me misses me. He said he was very depressed and not doing well. 1. Is it possible for a guy to still be in love with a girl but not want her back? 2. What are your thoughts on this situation? 3. What do you recommend?
admin
November 18, 2013 at 5:45 pm
1. Yes.. but its a really weird situation.
2. I think its worth a try but there are no guarantees.
3. NC is still smartest here you are very early.
Kristen
November 20, 2013 at 12:50 am
Okay, so he just sent me a text saying that he is “fearful that if we give it another chance that some things won’t change, but he misses my nurturing and is hurting badly”. Could it possibly be that this is movement towards getting back together? Is he going to give me another chance? Holy crap. Your program is totally working. I am so scared! I don’t wanna eff this up, Chris.
admin
November 20, 2013 at 5:36 pm
I think its a really good sign…
em
November 17, 2013 at 7:21 pm
for those trying to get through NC, some helpful advise i read:
“Let it cool down and they will remember the good things, because nobody wants to remember the bad things and that is whats healing is for, you won’t heal the good memories in life. They won’t forget those ever.”
i’m in permanent NC. i did a lot, to all i was ignored fiercely and i refuse to lose my dignity further. i found out he’s dating another girl and it caused me so much mental pain i had to go to the hospital for evaluation. if he wants me, he can come and try again. if he realizes my worth, he’ll do something. if he broke up with me, he can be the one to try and patch it up. i ended on a good note for myself, sent a nice letter about my reflections and how i hope one day we can talk again but it’s his decision. weeks, months, years down the line if he really loved me and still does he’ll do something. i already put myself out there.
don’t fake move on.
i went on dates, i distracted myself, tried to better myself, but i was doing it for him. NOT FOR ME.
it’s hard, but i was trying throughout all my NC and it wasn’t real. only when i found out he was already in a new relationship did it hit me not that there isnt any hope, but i have to give up trying and let it happen naturally. i also realized there’s a lot of maturing on his part he has to do if i’d ever want to be with him again.
admin
November 18, 2013 at 5:35 pm
Permanant NC? You won’t even contact him?
Caitlin
November 16, 2013 at 2:39 pm
Hi Chris,
My ex-bf and I broke up for about 5 months because I was too possessive, and we didn’t contact for about 4months as I need some time away from him to move on. However, about 3 weeks ago, I bumped into him and he said hi but I ignored it. After he text me asking how was I and initiate to meet and catch up. I went and gave him cold replies and left after 20mins. After, we have been texting almost every day or alternate days. He would ask how was my day or I would find excuses or reason asking him some stuff. During the first few days after we’re back contacting, he would update me about his day and his family, ask me out, reminiscing the past about the holiday trips we went, sending me our past photos we took when on holiday, telling me that we can go holiday again together and even said it was a fun trips (we quarrel/fight during the trips). We had physical touch (touching of faces) more than a normal friend when we’re out. But recently, I couldn’t control myself not texting him or talking to him. And I kinda find his replies quite cold towards me (either he is busy working or I’m thinking too much). But from time to time, he would reply as soon as possible. I’m not sure what does he wants. Maybe he just want to be friends? But I don’t think I’m ready to accept him as a normal friend. I don’t know what to do now. Either we start over again, or we go on NC.
admin
November 16, 2013 at 11:10 pm
I am thinking NC!
Caitlin
November 17, 2013 at 11:12 am
Or should I confront him or what he wants to contact me back and ask him to stay away if he doesn’t want to get back?
admin
November 17, 2013 at 8:50 pm
confrontation usually never works out.