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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
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What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Anna
November 29, 2013 at 3:48 am
So my bf of a 1 1/2 broke up with me because he can’t forgive me for breaking up with him for some confusion (a stupid guy) more than a year ago, he takes it as cheating, even though it was not. We had a lot of plans for the future and stuff, most of the time I felt fantastic, and thought everything was fine, he did therapy for like 2 months, and said it just doesn’t work for him. But I made a little mistake again and that was all: He told me he was unhappy, and couldn’t forget what I did, and is tired of trying. He also broke up with me 2 times before for the same reason (we had broke up 2 times before for other reasons), but this time seems like he meant it. He says he still loves me, and care about me, but just don’t want to trust me anymore (I did everything I could to show him my love and that I was trustful).
After 3 weeks of almost NC, this week we hanged out at a bar, and everything was just perfect, we talked, we laughed a lot, he told me I looked pretty, and he initiated most of the physical contact, we played, touched and hugged a little more than two friends would (or so I think). And at the end of the night he told me he had a wonderful night. So I invited him to the movies in a week, but I don’t know if this is the right thing to do… perhaps he is just being nice to me, and that’s all…?? He says he loves me and doesn’t know when he will stop doing it. What does that means? I’m confused, a lot.
admin
November 30, 2013 at 4:16 am
Have you read any of the reattraction stuff on this site before?
Anna
November 30, 2013 at 5:29 am
Hi, thanks for answering.
Yes I did read some of the stuff. But he is so rigid and judge me a lot, and for him I’m always the one who fails. He clearly said to me that this cannot be fixed. He wants to move on because he doesn’t want to suffer unnecessarily and live in a hell like he says.
I think I’ll give your method a try.
If he says he “loves me” (he also says: love is not everything in a relationship, and I agree with him at some point, but I also believe that love is the main thing), maybe this situation is not completely hopeless even though he says it is.
admin
November 30, 2013 at 6:57 pm
Yes give the method a try. You have nothing to lose 🙂
Maya
November 29, 2013 at 1:14 am
Hey Chris I bought your ebook today! It never mentioned about being in NC for a long period of time (some people want their exes back after years!). Anyways, my ex has moved to another state and we haven’t been in contact for a year. Would texting out of the blue work in this case?
admin
November 29, 2013 at 7:22 pm
I created this page for that: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-guide-to-getting-him-back-after-a-year-or-more-apart/
Anon
November 28, 2013 at 7:34 pm
My ex GF broke up with 5 weeks ago unexpectedly (Her parents asked her “why?” when she told them). We had a few txts for the following 2 weeks, she got her stuff etc, no actual convers. I met up with her to get a key and some closure then started NC. She txt me 6 days into NC but I caved 4 days later and started a txt conver with her. Have since started NC again and on day 5.
My question is this, when we broke up and when we met up, she said we could still be friends, but you never know in 6 months or the future in terms of getting back together. We are on good terms and stuff now. 1.) What does she mean when she says that, and 2.) Do I have a chance of getting her back?
admin
November 29, 2013 at 2:03 am
Sorry about the breakup.
Have you been able to get through a full NC rule yet?
Anon
November 29, 2013 at 6:34 am
Thanks. No, I am currently on day 5 of 2nd time round. My Birthday is this weekend and i’m not sure how to react if she contacts me. What should I do if she does?
My next question is this, I’m going away for christmas and she was supposed to be coming with me, the second NC rule will take me past the start of that trip and I don’t get back till Jan 5th. I was thinking of maybe meeting her before I go, or should I keep No Contact until I get back in January?
admin
November 30, 2013 at 4:23 am
Hmm I would ignore if you are in NC.
I would also just do the initial 30 days.
Anon
November 30, 2013 at 4:45 pm
Oh ok, regarding the first 30 days, it will be December 23rd when the 30 days are up and i’ll be half way across the world then. Should I contact her before I go on the 19th December?
Anon
November 28, 2013 at 7:41 pm
I forgot to mention, when she broke up with me, she said she’s not feelings and the spark for me.
Ann
November 28, 2013 at 5:14 am
My boyfriend of 2 years has been a roller coaster ride. But all our good out weighs the bad. Nothing new to hear I bet. We talked about marriage and his family adores me because of the changes he has made in his life “because of my love for him”.
This past year our relationship has been on shaky grounds. We broke up in October and got back together in like a week to only break up again a week later. I tried to do he NC rule but I felt like I was playing mind games and that wasn’t me. He was a playboy before we got serious, at least I would like to think he was serious. He did cheat on me( no suprise) and he said he doesn’t want to hurt me and loves me but it’s best to go our separate ways. But he always comes back saying he can’t stop thinking of me and misses me. He is talking to “several ” girls because he told me when we last argued 2 days ago. Why does he tell me this knowing it would hurt me ( thought he said he didn’t want to hurt me) and then later come back to say he loves me and can’t live without me to only leave me agina? Could he just be playing games with me? He says now , he doesn’t think he’s ready for a relationship. For me to end the relationship I told him to just tell me he doesn’t love me and wants to be free dating. I only asked this of him because I would instantly give up completely and he knows that. But his reply is that he does love me but doesn’t think he could stop being with other women and needs to fix himself first before he’s in a relationship. I do love him and the hardest part is letting go. My fear of the NC rule because he is talking to other girls he will completely move on. I don’t know what to do because I do love him and want us back yet I find myself thinking its best to walk away no matter how much it hurts. I also think of him everyday and wish things were different. I’m so confused and emotionally drained. Do I do the NC for 30 or 45 days because of his past cheating? Another obsticle is we live 5 hrs apart, which makes it easy to not run into to him. So many questions are left unanswered.
Helpless and confused.
admin
November 28, 2013 at 5:58 am
30 days I think should be enough.
May I ask why you want him back?
Ann
November 29, 2013 at 12:32 am
For the most part of our relationship it was awesome. When ever we had an arguement we would get mad but eventually apologize to each other and not hold it against each other and go back to loving each other. We could be our true selves and not feel like We had to be someone “perfect”. And I do love him, I don’t know maybe it was all me and I was blind? This is what I am going through.
LoveLost
November 28, 2013 at 4:30 am
Hey Chris me again,
I’m day 5 into NC and my ex texted me today. He told me that my previous ex from about 3 years ago has been sending people pictures of us during sexual acts. Should I say something, or continue no contact? I’m scared this is really going to damage my chances of getting him back…
LoveLost
November 28, 2013 at 4:57 am
Too late, I failed.
karen
November 27, 2013 at 10:11 pm
I followed his instagram account again and liked a post. that is the only contact I had after NC. I did that on the 36th day. Is that considered a contact??
admin
November 28, 2013 at 5:24 am
No I think contacting him and having a small conversation counts.
karen
November 28, 2013 at 8:39 am
Thanks chris
karen
November 27, 2013 at 10:03 pm
Hi chris
With a stubborn ex what happens when u go a little longer with NC? Iam on my 40th day today and I dont feel like talking to him yet. I found out that he has been asking things about me from friends and that he still loves me but does not want to make a move because he fears that if we get back, we will still end up with how we are before. Also, he’s rebounding.
admin
November 28, 2013 at 5:29 am
Have you read my rebound page?
Kel
November 27, 2013 at 3:59 am
OK. I waited 28 days before I contacted him. We did talk and meet up after the nc time. He said he started seeing someone after he hadn’t heard from me in a few weeks he figured I was done. He is still with her now. So didn’t the 28 day wait just give him time to get out there and see what else was around? I hardly ever hear from him now. He’s too busy with the new woman.
admin
November 27, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Sorry to hear that. Just give it more time and try to maintin communication.
Abc
November 27, 2013 at 3:34 am
Hi Chris!
So my bf of 2 1/2 years broke up with me 2 1/2 months because we had been fighting alot and he said he had a gut feeling that we were not going to end up together and we are not compatible because he is going to grad school and I am going to medical school ( which we have not decided where yet) and doesnt see us getting back together. At first I was blinded sided by the break up so that night it happened I begged him not to do it. The i let 2 1/2 weeks go by and asked him to meet to figure out what happen and explained to him that i was sorry and I want to work on myself but would like another chance with him in few weeks/ months so i could fix the issues with myself ( my anxiety). But over the next 1 1/2 month we had maintained some contact due to getting my stuff back (cuz i was living with him till i could move into my new apt) and ski team trip information and he contacted me two weeks ago after there was an accident at my work but since i am trying to do the no contact rule and I am about 2 weeks in and i have noticed he has all of sudden be liking my facebook posts and I am kinda confused I have done nothing on his facebook and I am not going to. But I was wondering if you could explain if this reaching out or not and what do I do for the holidays coming up if he trys to contact me what do i do? And is there still hope?
admin
November 27, 2013 at 7:54 pm
If he reaches out you have to ignore him… simple as that.
Tiffany
November 26, 2013 at 7:55 pm
So my ex left me this past Thursday. He moved out and took most of his things. He is the love of my life, the one I planned on marrying, the one I planned on having a family with, and I want him back. He says he still loves me, but says he needs to be able to support himself, before he can support someone else. But he did also say that he doesn’t know if we have a future together either. Which I find that very hard to believe since we have been through 8 years of so much together. But after reading this website, I have collectively gathered some part of me to try and focus on other goals in my life that I could change for myself and my life.
Today will be my 5th day of the NC rule and I’m really struggling to push through everyday and night. I have my friends and family that are keeping me busy too, so that I try not to think about it too much. But still, all I want deep inside is for him to come back to me.
I know it says to keep doing the NC rule for 30 days, which I plan on sticking to, but I’m worried he won’t contact me after the 30 days and it scares me. It scares me that he won’t try, it scares me to not know if he is missing me, and it scares me to even think that he might find someone else. He says he isn’t looking for a relationship with me or anyone, but I keep asking myself, should I trust that he won’t or not trust him since he couldn’t commit to being with me? I’m really trying to be strong, even though all I want to do is pick up the phone and call or drive over and see him. But all of this scares me and it hurts.
Another thing is that he ended up leaving some items at my house and says he can get them later. However, my mother thinks she should just drop them off, so that I don’t linger on the items he left behind. Would that be the smart thing for my mother to do for me? Will it hurt him by returning it, because thats not what I want to do, because I want him back in my life? Or should I just pack them away for now in the closet? I need your advice and guidance through this hard time, because I think I would have done the worst and would keep pushing him away if I didn’t read your website. Please help, I can’t imagine my future without him….
admin
November 27, 2013 at 7:13 pm
I think you can return his things. But wait a bit see if he reaches out about them.
Kamy
November 26, 2013 at 7:30 am
Hi Chris ! I was in a long distance relationship for 4 months with a man ( from another country). We did meet twice ( once in my country and the second time in his ) and it was a great match for both of us, from all points of view .This sunday he left me this message
” Hello, dear. As I have got to known you – you are open, straight forward and can sense a lot of things, hearing what’s not being said. This is extemely difficult for me. I like you a lot and I enjoyed the times we had together. But as you sense – I am not sure I can go on and explore “us” any further. I wish I could be honest and say it differently. I can`t really put my finger on any special things about us, but as long as I don`t invest so much in it as you, its difficult for me. I also must say that keeping up with all writing and answering on FB has been a challenge also. And on the way I guess that also tired me out a little. Feeling guilty when not answering in time and having bad conscious. You are a very “ON” person with lots of energy and able to show it and give it to others. I like you a lot and who knows what this could have developed into. Take care of your self, sweet girl. You have given me experiences and memories that will last and I wish you all the best Many kisses.” ..
I just have to say that i never asked him to answer on time or made a scene because of that .He felt that..So until now we had no dispute over anything .
I got into the NC since then ( it’s been only 1 day so far , but i am doing great ..reading all the materials you have posted )
My question is rather urgent .THIS thursady is his birthday . Should / can i wish him happy birthday ? or since in NC i should stay away from it . And from a man point of view what do you think about his decision . Do you think that i have any chance of getting him back ?
Thank you in advance for your answer 🙂
admin
November 26, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Have you read the LDR post yet?
Kamy
November 27, 2013 at 5:04 am
Yes I did, in fact i am reading everything you posted .It’s quite a lot to read and i am greatful for that because it keeps my mind busy 🙂 and teaching me a lot about men. I understood that the best way to handle this issue is not to say anything , because he’ll be shocked and then angry (maybe).But it will no considered rude? I am an UG (modest me ..hehe) but i tend to become too available when a man gets my heart . Any recommendations for that in your posts ? So far i didn’t find anything about this .Thank you
admin
November 27, 2013 at 8:09 pm
Hahah I love women who say they are the UG! I like that confidence.
But yes. If you are too available you lose some of that luster.
Laura
November 26, 2013 at 6:09 am
HI,
My boyfriend of 5 years recently broke up with me (I’m 26, he’s 25), the background to this story goes like this; two months ago he chose an engagement ring and organised to propose on our 5th anniversary, he had a major freak out/cold feet and cheated on me one night when out with his mates (he was blind drunk, which is no excuse I know).
He told me about it and he wanted to fix our relationship (I wanted to too)and be with me, then he did complete 180 and decided he needed to be alone, that he didn’t know what he wanted in life and he needed to go out and become responsible and that he is currently “coasting through life” so he needs to work out what he wants.
We lived together (though since the split he has spent most nights at his friends place) so implementing the NC has been difficult especially whilst trying to divide all our belongings, I did however only contact him when he asked to talk about splitting assets etc.
He finally moved out the other day but still has some things in the house and still need to split our bank etc which I am hoping to do soon.
Would I be best to wait until everything in our life has been separated to start NC properly? as I said before the last couple weeks I have only contacted him when he asked to speak about our stuff apart from that I haven’t really text or called him.
If I start NC once all our stuff is split should I do 30days or 45days?
My last question is as its over Xmas/New year if he texts or calls to wish merry xmas etc do I ignore him or is it rude and should I reply back with a simple “merry xmas” ? We still get along very well the last text he sent me was ‘I will still see you, trust me I don’t want you to not be in my life” So am not sure if its rude to ignore him on xmas day?
Thank you.
admin
November 26, 2013 at 8:09 pm
30 days for sure.
Tyler D
November 26, 2013 at 3:13 am
Hey Chris, my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year exactly then a week later we got into a huge argument. I was extremely hurt and I told him it was over. Minutes later I thought it over and I truly didn’t mean a word of it. He was my first at basically everything and we did pretty much everything together. After the huge argument which occurred on a saturday night he didnt talk to me until the wednesday. While he wasnt talking to me I was highly emotionally and i sent messages emails phone calls everything. One day he called and asked could we meet and I said yes. When we met I had given him a later that I wrote saying how sorry I was and that I was in love with him. He read it and said he forgave me for everything but strangely enough I knew nothing would be the same. We were okay for a few days but I noticed that he wouldn’t text me unless I reached out to him. When he actually did reply he told me that yes he cared about me but he needed space and he does see him self with me in the future but not now. At that point in time I couldnt understand why he needed space so I could constantly text him log thought felt messages and emails and he would always say he slightly agrees or things like that. And it would honestly hurt my feeling. He wanted to be friends and I couldnt handle it so it eventually got to me and I told him we should exchange goodbyes. The next day I text him and asked could we talk and he read the message but didnt text back. After that I knew just to give hime his space. I found this website and I have been in no contact for 8 days now. I have been told he is now talking to a girl but I havent talk to him or looked at his Instagram. We have had alot of great time together but the problem was that we argued and he didnt like it also he told his friends a lot of this and that played at drastic part in why we arent together. I really love him and we often talked about marriage after college. I dont know if I should pursue trying to get him back or not. In my opinion our good time far out weighed the bad but idk if that argument was the last straw. What do you think I should do, do I even have a good chance?
admin
November 26, 2013 at 7:54 pm
I think its worth a shot yes..
Rose
November 25, 2013 at 7:13 pm
Hey Chris,
thanks for the website, really helpful!
My bf broke up with me last summer, I did NC, he contacted me a couple of times during that time, we stayed in very good speaking terms. He then left for the US for about 2 months (I live in Europe) and I did limited contact then (just texted him a couple of times and he initiated once as well as commented on my FB page). When he came back he accepted to go see a show I really wanted to see (he hates this kind of things but he said he just wanted to make me smile and was happy to spend time with me). He was extremely flirty, complimented me a lot, took me in his arms, kissed me on the forehead (?!) and things like that… We argued a tiny bit and he became extremely upset when I told him I wasn’t sure he actually wanted to stay in my life as friends.
About 3 weeks later (we kept talking in the meantime but he was running hot and cold, one day he was absolutely adorable and another day almost ignoring me) I heard that he was moving back to the US (where he is originally from) in about a month… I freaked out and texted him, he was really sweet, flirtatious and we ended up seeing each other again that night, he stayed the night, he told me he had missed me a lot, kissed me thousand times and was super adorable. He told me we would definitely see each other before she leaves. He even brought me a little something that made him think of me. Anyway, he texted me something silly about a day later and he helped me with something the same week but then he went cold again, almost ignoring me or just acting distant…
I’m moving to the US too about 3 and a half month after him so I don’t know how to react anymore. I’m so sure he still has strong feelings for me, I can tell but I can also see that he is really conflicted and I feel like every time I initiate contact now he freaks out. I decided to go back to NC for one or two weeks but it’s kind of scary since he’s leaving next month, it’s day 5 now, what do you think I should do? Just so you know, I never directly told him I wanted to get back together or anything like that, he can see that but I don’t want to freak him out with too much emotional stuff since he hates it…My birthday is coming up in a few days too so maybe I should just wait and see if he texts me / comes to the party?
Thanks!!
admin
November 26, 2013 at 6:39 pm
I think your plan is a good one. Go into NC for a while.
Rose
November 25, 2013 at 7:24 pm
(and also, both times we saw each other he held my hand.. it means he still has feelings for me, right?)
admin
November 26, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Yes
anon
November 25, 2013 at 4:40 pm
Hey Chris, me again. I’m just over half way through now and I’m really starting to struggle! He text me at the beginning of last week asking if I was ready to talk yet and I didn’t reply due to no contact. I have no idea what he wanted to talk about but I can only imagine he wants me to pick my stuff up from his. I’m starting to feel like maybe I should have replied. I’ve recently discovered there’s a strong possibility he’s talking to another girl already. It also looks like he’s started a no contact duel with me now because the little things he did do have stopped. I think basically what I’m looking for is assurances that I’m doing the right thing. All of my friends and family say that NC is far too long, and I’m starting to believe that they may be right. What if I have waited too long and he has decided to just move on and forget about me? What do you think he wanted to talk about? So really my questions are:
Am I doing the right thing and can you point me to something that will make me see this?
What do you think he wanted to talk about?
What happens if he has started to talk to some other girl? Does this decrease my chances?
Do you think it’s possible he could just move on from me because of the length of NC and that by me refusing to be in contact with him has actually pushed him further away?
admin
November 25, 2013 at 8:50 pm
Possible but I think its very unlikely he will move away. I would say the opposite is more likely to happen.
Elina
November 25, 2013 at 4:56 am
Hi, what is the gurantee that he won’t decide to move in this 30 day period, after he has made some attempts to text, call during this 30 day? He could potentially think you are no longer invested in the relationship and decide to ‘mirror’ you or simply move on!?
admin
November 25, 2013 at 8:04 pm
It’s possible but it is actualy pretty unlikely
Anne SL
November 24, 2013 at 9:06 pm
What to do if he calls you before 30 days and keeps trying?
admin
November 25, 2013 at 7:20 pm
You have to ignore him…
serena
November 23, 2013 at 10:22 pm
So i did NC for 1 mo and a half and finally texted him. He told me he loved me and missed me but then ignored me again when we were supose to meet. I texted him last night and said you dont want to be wih me so delete my number goodbye. Is this savable or a lost cause?
Dan
November 25, 2013 at 7:18 pm
omg
You havent done NC properly. In fact you havent done it at all.
You have to let go of the fear. Realize that by associating with him you are only pushing him away. He needs to feel your absense amd since you gave in prematurly, your going to have to start from the beginning PLUS go past the level of NC you were at before. You literaly have to reject them once they do make contact, but do it in a way that makes you seem loving. (I need time to think about what I want, I want the best for both of us) or sumthin like that.
My girl ditch ed me for the whole summer, (She always ditches me and trys to replace our bond with other guys) so she started dating a guy from high school. And then after some time, finaly after NC for the whole time shr messages me saying sorry and saying all that. I immediatly told her to stop talking to me and that I was done. She kept going on. Now heres the kicker: aftrr her saying sry and telling me she was committed to me, (I EVEN GOT A JOB CLEANING CATTLE TRAILERS) I gave in. So the first couple days were good and normal. Then one night I goto her condo and things just didn’t seemright. I know her so well by now that I can detect the slightest things. So.. I hear the phone ring and I knew it was him. I tip toed upupstairs and as soon as she heard me she whispers imto the phone and quickly hangs up. I FREEEAKED. I told her she was supposed to not be talking to him. I had to pull teeth just to get her to admit they had sex (only after I found txts on her phone abi ut condoms) after she insisantly lied about “we didn’t do anything”.
So I told her that it was me or him and she got mad at me but finaly caved in. So I try to beleive her. He kept trying to txt her and I warned him in a very manly way to back off from my wife and family. (oh yea, 3 years ago she ditched me in another relashionship and had a baby with some chump thatdhe doesnt even talk to n e more) He krpt txting and she kept responding. I got.upset and told her if u keep responding to his t xts hes gonna keep txting you. I said its either me or him. And I was about to leave her place when she started crying and asking me not to go. She promised me. And even through the next few days she kept reassuring me that I could trust her.
So a few days later she tells.me shes going to a bar with her friend to see her friends bf’s band play. But the friend she was going with is responsible for breaking us up in the past. They went shopping for a dress . I get hone from work and she shows me this little skimpy dress that she was intending to wear. I said why would u wear that? it made me jealous
I also said that I didn’t like her hanging out with her girlfriend because of what alwayd happens. She always convinces my love to turn against me. And she kept reassuring me. So the bar night came and we made plans to hang out wen she was done. Well. 9pm goes by. 10 p m goes by, 11, 12, 1am I txt her “are you okay?” she said “yea great lol”. I left it at that. then 2:15 am and I tell her that I’m falling asleep. I didn’t hear from her until 1pm the next day.
Yadda yadda and she starts lecturing me on how I am being controlling and that she should be able to hang out with whoever she wants. sh e actually said I was controlling. I could tell she was talkingg about our relashionship to her friends. none of them know me yet have an opinion of what I should and shouldnt do. So a day later she te lls me that her ex has been txting her again. I said I’m done, she got.mad and said shes allowed to have friends! (even though I agree and want her to have friends) but I thought she wouldve cared about how I felt and not associated with ppl that destroy our relashionship by reflecting back her doubts and convincing her of things that aren’t true.
So the last night I was with her I started crying and telling her I cant be with her if shes going to txt him and flirt and goto bars with her eveil friend. She actually got offended and let me walk out the door. The next night I walked 5km to her place and stood in front of her door and told her I don’t trust her and how I felt so hurt. she insisted that I allow her to be friiends with whoever she wants and closed the door on my face. The next day was my 27th b day and she wrote me a hurtful.msg in the morning and just let.me rot at home in pain and agony, on my bday!! didn’t hear one word from her and everytime I hear a car I would run to the window. We havent talked since I left 4 days ago. Its as if she gets upset with me and then tries to replace our bond with someone else. idk wat to do. maybe we can help eachother by talking about this stuff on here? what do u think?
admin
November 24, 2013 at 7:09 pm
How did you text him?
serena
November 24, 2013 at 7:56 pm
When we were going to meet up I told him I just want him to be happy and I love him. He also told me he’s been angry and that I have pushed him away. I don’t know how to get him to open up again.
admin
November 25, 2013 at 7:11 pm
Open up how?
LoveLost
November 23, 2013 at 6:40 am
Hey Chris,
My boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me 3 days ago. This was his first ever relationship. We had some shaky spots in the past few months and he expressed his struggles with wanting to go and and explore new people and experiences, having just started college and not wanting to be tied down. This made me start to feel insecure about myself, and fearful that I might lose him. I began going through his phone periodically, which I KNOW is wrong and wish I had never done it at this point, but every time I found a conversation with someone new or someone we had agreed should be avoided. About a month or two ago I got fed up with feeling like I was on the back burner (even though he was giving me ample attention emotionally and physically, I just had consuming thoughts in the back of my mind that he was going to leave me for someone else.) I began blocking numbers from his phone and deleting people from his facebook account. Once he found out, he was very upset and talked about breaking up so he could go out and explore. We agreed to take a break from each other, but not to see other people, so that we could decide if we were willing to make this work. The break only lasted a day and he was at my apartment when I got home from work. I asked him, “Is this what you decide? To be with me?” he said, “I’m here aren’t I?” and he proceeded to book my flight to go along with his family to Florida in March. I went with him and his family last year and we had been waiting for the prices to go down before we booked my ticket this year. Things got better after that and we had about 3 weeks of happiness where everything seemed to be fine. Then I found out from a friend that he had a recent profile on a dating app on his phone. My insecurity struck again. I tried to snoop in his phone, but he changed his password. When I finally saw him enter his new password one day, I went through his messages while he was sleeping and found more flirty conversations with a number with no name listed. In the following days I snooped deeper, looking at facebook messages, and blocking more people. Finally 3 days ago after I left for work he saw I blocked someone who he had been talking to the night before. He said via text, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
I begged him to stay and give me one more chance and said I would do anything to make it work. He said he had made his decision and given us enough chances and he’s ready to be done.
The first two days after the breakup were the hardest so far, day 2 being the worst. In the time we were together there was only one other day (the day were took our “break”) that we didn’t say anything to each other. That night he updated his facebook status, “Day two was even harder than day one. I’m scared to see what tomorrow brings.” I thought I saw a glimmer of hope: he misses me, he regrets breaking up with me. Today on day 3 I snapped and asked to talk to him in person. He agreed to meet me after work. I told him I realized what I had done wrong. I told him rather than start where we left off, I’d like to start a new relationship where we focus on making time to spend with our friends and not just each other, where we give each other space to have our own individual lives outside of our relationship, and maybe be friends with other couples and have that kind of support group behind us. I said I don’t expect him to want this right away, but if it’s something he’s interested in down the road that I would like to try. I got silence in return and when asked if he had anything to say he said, “I’ll admit that the last 3 days have been hard, but I think I’ve made my decision pretty clear (that he’s ready to be done), but I think I’ve been happier the past few days than I have been, as long as I don’t think about it.” I said he can’t just not think about it forever, we were a big part in each other’s lives for a long time. He said, “And it’s only been 3 days.” I feel like I screwed everything up, I should have just waited until the NC time was up but I thought I saw a chance to get him back. I really didn’t want to go through the holidays without him. I let my desperation get the best of me. Do you think I still have a chance, or did I make a big mistake?
admin
November 23, 2013 at 8:10 pm
Sure you do but you may need to go back into NC.
LoveLost
November 23, 2013 at 6:47 am
And I don’t know what to do about our Florida trip since the tickets are non-refundable. I feel like I can’t just let my expensive ticket go to waste, but I can’t sit next to him on a plane for hours if we’re not together anymore…
I want more than anything to get him back. He is the love of my life and I know he’s the one I’m meant to be with, if only he could get this need to explore other options out of his system.
I’m having a hard time thinking about taking him back if he sleeps around with other people since I was his first, and his innocence is part of what I loved about him, but if that’s what it takes for him to realize that he had something good all along should I let that happen?
admin
November 23, 2013 at 8:12 pm
Do you have a friend you can take if things don’t work out?
LoveLost
November 24, 2013 at 2:46 am
I only have my ticket, he and his family have the rest. Even if I did bring a friend my seat is right next to his. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that. I plan on implementing NCR and giving myself an emotional and physical makeover during that time.
admin
November 24, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Thats perfect! Don’t forget to be social too though.
Ella
November 22, 2013 at 8:15 pm
My BF told me he needed a break and I didnt understand what that meant. So we took a break and he kept calling and texting wanting to spend time with me and I allowed him to do so. After about 2 weeks or so of being with him on his terms I started showing affection and he rejected me but had no problem making me a booty call. I then told him that I couldn’t handle this and we were done. Deleted him from social sites at all. It has been about 4 days and now he is calling to ask me questions he could have gone other sources to find the answer. I answered his voice mail via text and proceeded to tell him that he agreed that we cut ties he needed time and space and now he has it. I cant be his friend there are too many emotions involved especially when he keeps telling me he loves me and sees a future but he just needs a break. Will this NCR still work?
admin
November 23, 2013 at 7:00 pm
Sure it will! 30 days is going to be tough though.
Ella
November 23, 2013 at 8:06 pm
Yeah I think it will be a tough 30 days too… He did not respond to that text… Which I didn’t find to be odd but we will see…
What I find difficult is we have no mutual friends and now no contact… 30 days… And today only makes day 2
admin
November 24, 2013 at 6:45 pm
Well hang in there… its not going to get any easier but I know you can do it.