The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

Veronica.

November 9, 2015 at 8:02 pm

Hey, Chris! I was in a long distance relationship, I met him back in Nov, 2014. Diff countries. We met on a study site talked a lot and eventually fell in love with each other and don’t know when we started dating. Everything was perfect but then at the end of may he would literally ignore me. He was working on his own website, so maybe i thought he needs his privacy, and when i asked him back in may if he’s not interested in me anymore i would leave. He said he really needs me, , then in june he would talk to me really rare. I asked him what sup and he was like *leave me alone* *this is bullshit* *fuck online dating* *this isn’t real* . my heart really broke, the person who i talked daily wanted me to leave him alone. And i had a lot of argument with him but later I was fine with it. We still talked but didn’t consider ourselves as dating. When I would ignore him he would text me saying how much he misses me. I mean It was like we were together, just not accepting it. Now recently, he told me how he found a girl and how he took her on a date and kissed, I mean.. I was so upset since i’m still in love with him. Even until now we talked daily until 2 days ago I had to stop this. I told him I really love him and he was like * go find yourself a bf, youd be fine*. this just upsets me. I told him to leave me alone, i’d be fine. We haven’t talked in 2 days. I really miss him. I’m dying inside. Tell me what to do? Thanks 🙂

Jessi

November 8, 2015 at 3:51 pm

Chris me and my actually husband have a very unhealthy toxic relationship he is always breaking up with me for any little reason I’m always begging him back all the time n he always gives in but we don’t even last a week n there he goes breaking up with me. Again this last time I told him i was actually talking to other guys he got very upset and broke up with me. He said it was really over and that he was done with me… Now he has been talking n going out with other woman.. I want my marriage so bad to work but this time I want him to look for me not me look for him.. And in this period of Nc I’m so afraid he will find someone else.. N I’m stuff with my hope

Layla

November 7, 2015 at 7:14 pm

Chris,
I met a guy online dating site. At first, I wasn’t really into him and he has 4 kids, which I had to consider if I wanted. I declined 2nd date but he kept pursuing me. He chased me and got me and I told that was one of the reasons he got me. I’m very attractive and I feel he is the jealous type. He might be an introvert but I can’t fully tell. He started to get lazy after sex so I broke up with him and told him that I didn’t know for sure if I wanted a relationship. The next day I had regrets but he went back online. After two weeks he took his profile down and I told him I would give a 100%. I tried but he kept pulling back, avoiding seeing me and so that would lead me to pull back and not trust and continue to see if he would make the first moves. We had great times out but argue through text. He is not a phone person. He then put his profile back up without telling me and gave me a lame excuse so I told him that I was done again. Be said that he simply gave up, never thought I was interested and was wishy washy and that things didn’t flow through text when we were apart so he lost interest. I tried to explain my behavior and let him know that I care about him but it didn’t bring us back together. I went back online too. It’s been this back and forth stay in contact and things go well but no dates, then blow up drama text with me being angry and saying mean things. In the meantime, he has been dealing with work and two empty rental homes, which I didn’t know about. When I offered to meet, he said he forgot and declined and so I told him it was fine and I would make plans with”someone else” and he immediately text back “someone else??”. I told him that I couldn’t wait around for him. He keeps bringing up how he was head over heels for me and wanted it to work and how I made him nervous and that he told everybody about me. I told him that I was head over heels. He still doesn’t want to work it out so I asked him to not contact me and he asked for a last time get together, which I told him “no’ if it was just for sex and not to talk about us. He told me to just forget it because he was attracted to me and would want to do things to me. I basically told him off and I called him a really bad name and told him “don’t be that guy” and that it was scary to hear his comments because I can’t tell if he’s joking. He said that this was all too much for him and he would leave me alone. I apologized for my mean name that I called him, which he said was extreme and told me to goodbye. My guy friend told me that my ex-boyfriend doesn’t trust my words, doesn’t think I’m sincere and I didn’t stroke his ego in the relationship when I should have. He suggested that I bring him a baked good and physically show him that I care and tell him that I was thinking about him. I did that a day ago. He smiled immensely when he gave me a hug. We kissed. He told me that I looked good and I told him I was sorry, missed him and was thinking about him. I left after only kissing briefly. His kid was home. I texted him that I was sorry about coming over unannounced and didn’t realize his son would be there. I rubbed his ego in the text and told him that I enjoyed kissing him and didn’t want to leave. His response was that I caught him off guard because he was taking a nap and that he appreciated the brownies. I haven’t said anything else. We both keep looking at each others online profiles the past few days. I’m entering NC. Should I do NC or try to do acts to show him I really do have feelings and it’s not just words? If he contacts me on his own, do I keep NC for this story when he previously didn’t think I cared? He keeps saying”I wished I had known” when I tell him that I did have feelings and just kept it hidden to protect myself. He said once that hopefully we would both find someone in the future that would make us head over heels again. I told him I agreed and to not contact me and that was when he asked for the last hook up meeting, which I said”no”. In the beginning, he told me that I was everything he was looking for. I guess I am confused on why he doesn’t want to work it out.

Kann

November 7, 2015 at 1:05 pm

My husband and I separated in September. Since then, we have been on dates, talking on the phone, talking about rebuilding our relationship etc. Recently, I asked him where was he living, but he refused to tell me. I have had many questions that he refuses to answer. All the things that he has been doing leads me to believe he is cheating. He says he’s not, but I feel he is. In my experience when a man is so secretive, he is not up to anything good. He also basically told me that money means more to him than working on a marriage, and that marriage is not a priority for him. I was so hurt that I took the NC approach. If our marriage is not a priority for him, then why should it be a priority for me? This is day 3 of NC. Since the NC started, he has texted me, called my cell and my job, and he came to my apartment last night but I didn’t open the door. He sent me a text asking me to let him know if I no longer want to communicate with him so he can stop wasting his time. I didn’t respond. In the past when we had issues, he would implement NC and ignore me. The longest time his NC lasted was about 4 days. I’m sure that he doesn’t know what to think right now because this is my first time implementing NC with him. At this point, I’m using NC to get healing so I can move forward with a divorce! After all his lies, games and immaturity, I don’t even feel I want him back. I deserve so much more than what he is offering. In a perfect world, I would love to work on my marriage, but this man won’t change and he should see how it really feels to not have me in his life. I have cried a few times since NC, but I’m feeling free of the drama.

Marie

November 6, 2015 at 3:17 am

Thanks for posting this! Question: my ex and I broke up on his terms. We dated for a year then he relocated to another state and told me we are wasting our time because he is eventually planning to move back to his county to be with his family. He wants to remain friends but obviously that’s not what I want. Will this NC rule work for someone who has made up their mind about their future and stated that we are wasting our time? He said that he cares for me and my future and wants to see me happy and that I need to look for someone to have a future with.

Morg

November 5, 2015 at 2:06 pm

My situation is a little difference can you still help? Me and this guy were talking basically everyday for over a year seeing eavjother once a month bc we lived in different states I moved to his state for school and he would see me all the time and if he didn’t he would still be in touch not going more than2 days without hearing. Then he started to get werid like not answering back texts or texting me first and I would reply and he would never answer then started to say he would come by and then not show and not tell me why or even say sorry nothing I held strong until about 2 weeks into being ignored and ditched j told him when he texted ME first I said simply hey look indont mind if you can’t come by or hangout I know your busy( he just got a new job works 13 hours a day and has a kid) I said its just not okay with me being ignored its rude and disrespectful. The next day he calls me like nothing was said he said something about doing something for me and k said why so you can ignore me again? And he said ” ong what are we married ? This is why hate girls if I wanted to ignore you I wouldn’t call I’m busy j work sleep barely have time for gym anymore ” I accepted it but I also know that he was always busy and able to atleast say “my bad” or something after not showing up on several occasions after HE made the plans. So he says he’ll come by that night after a football game. Again doesn’t show phones off all night . I texted s few times casual just like hey let me know so I know what’s going on. Never hear next day comes don’t hear. The next day he texts what’s up I respond 20 min later and no reply. Don’t hear the next day. The following day I broke and said ” hey look I’m sorry for spazzing on you for not being around your not my boyfriend I just wouldn’t expect that from a close friend either it guess we’re just different like that no hard feelings see you around ” and it’s been 11 days and I haven’t heard . We’ve never gone this long and when we have he would tell me s reason for a while he was still invovled with his kids mother so if he needed disantce he would tell me or if he was mad at me he would tell me. I’m not sure what to do or why he isn’t talking to me at all. What do I do

AK

November 3, 2015 at 3:04 pm

Hi my name is AK.
So me n my ex started dating 5 years ago when i was 15.we were going pretty great. Before i get to the story let me introduce us. Im from India and I’m a hindu by religion and he’s muslim. Out here there’s this huge problem on inter religion marriages so marriage has always been a big question mark ever since we started dating. If we had to get married we would have to hurt our families and run away together but we love our families so much that we dont think about marriage often. But sometimes he used to have this hit of conscience and say we need to breakuo we cant get married i love you but i cant hurt my parents n neither can you. We used to have an on again/ off again relationship. But we loved eachother so much that we couldn’t exactly breakup. So till our third year together we were going great (except for these small breakups in between). During our third year he got into college, and he became kind of different. He loved his new friends and all the attention and he said he didnt want a relation anymore. I was heartbroken n would constantly beg him n call him but there was no changing his mind. (Also id like to point out that he has NEVER thought of another woman.. All he wanted was to be single he didnt like anyone else during this period) and so for one whole year it was a sad time for me, as sometimes he would miss me so much and come back and we would date and after like 10 days BAM! Again with the breakup from him. Then finally we broke up for good as i couldn’t take anymore breakups. The next year i got into college and i met someone else and dated this new guy for about 4 months. During these 4 months, my ex got so sad and depressed that he was being replaced that he did evrything humanely possible to get me back. He would call, text tell me im too good for him, take me to places and shower me with love. But since i was dating this new guy, i wasn’t as intrested im him but i still did love him inside. After 4 months me n this new guy broke up (we broke up because of the topic that i couldn’t keep my ex out of my life cos he was that important to me) and i finally got back togethrr with my ex.
We were going great till like a week ago he says he wants to break up. He said he doesn’t find anything special about me(as he was still hurt from how i dated someone else) . i tried to make him understand that i did love him n the other one was just a mistake n people make mistakes. But he doesn’t get it. He says we can’t marry anyway what are we dating for and he claims i will change and find someone else the moment he leaves. I begged and became kind of a text gnat and he told me to give him space.
I want your help Chris! I tried the nc rule n today is the third day n till now hes not contacted me n im worried that if i do this for 30 days , will he just move on and forget about me? Please don’t tell me to move on since the chances are low about us getting married. All i know is that i want him back now because we both love eachother. Please tell me a solution. Im desperate to get him back. Thanks!!

Destiny

November 2, 2015 at 6:45 pm

Chris,
Just broke up with my bf. We had relationship issues in the beginning because he was texting other women inappropriately. He lied about it twice that i know of, he apologized both separate times. That was 7 months ago and I suppose I never sorted out the anger I felt towards it. He wants to fast forward to when we can put all of this behind us. I asked him to have patience (answer my questions, etc.). He got irritated. I broke up with him and told him I’m going on a date that same day. He then blocked me on facebook and his phone. He wouldn’t speak to me. How should I deal with this? I of course didn’t go on any date. I just wanted him to feel how I felt and why it isn’t easy for me.

Viktoria

November 2, 2015 at 8:47 am

Hi Chris,
I got mad at him after finding out he’s still in contact with his ex, I started NC for a week now, 1st 2 days he called a lot. I didn’t answer and reply to his messages. Trying not to open social media as if I didn’t receive his messages. Now he stopped calling, I’m worried that he might think I easily gave up on him. Will he still call? Should I break the NC & reply to his old message?

Ali

November 2, 2015 at 3:10 am

Hi Chris,

First, thanks for all the advice! My friend showed your site to me a few weeks ago, strangely right before my own breakup, and it’s been so helpful.

When my ex broke up with me, I was shocked but managed to play it cool with no hystrionics or tears. We talked about remaining friends, but I explained that when I’m out, I try to stay out, at least for a while, for self preservation. At that point he became pretty confused and kept insisting that I should let him know if I’d want to grab drinks and that if I wanted to invite him along to friends’ parties I should.

What I want to know is: does having a conversation about friendship post-break up make the No Contact phase stronger or weaker? Would it make an ex’s reactions stronger or weaker?

faique

November 1, 2015 at 5:52 pm

Hi
my boy friend breakup with me family issue … 2nd week of NC… will he come back ? He blocked me in facebook.. delete me from whatsap… i m in pain…

faique

November 1, 2015 at 5:48 pm

Hi
my boy friend breakup with me family issue … 2nd week of NC… will he come back ?

Maddy

November 1, 2015 at 2:35 am

Hi..Please help.. I was dating a guy for 2 years..We had known each other since we were aprox 9..always friends. We found each other again..and our relationship was amazing..We talked marriage..said “forever”..he said I was his 1st gf he was also best friends with and actually liked hanging out with..We told each other we were soul mates..We moved in together..and had a baby in May. I have had issues w drugs..and he knew this. I got back into them..and it ruined me. He was/is no Angel and although he doesn’t do what got me in trouble..He does go out and drink often. When we 1st got together, he told me the main reason he had issues with his ex was because she never wanted to go out or wanted to let him. Also, his ex before that became really lazy and just laid on his couch all day while he worked.. Wellll..I promised him I would never become or do any of these things…and I did..but was also INCREDIBLY jealous..Of Facebook a lot, and pretty much any girl he talked to. When I got pregnant, I got help for my drug abuse, and am to this day…but I also became very depressed.. I also got into fights w his mom who was extremely controlling once I had the baby, and although he defended me the whole time because he saw what she was doing and agreed..not now. My boyfriend and I were fighting A LOT and he started going out to bars after work, leaving me home with baby. I got really upset, and went to my mom’s. Before this, we had talked and were going to try counseling together. After he came home at 7 am..I had it.Also, there was a wedding we were invited to which I didn’t attend because I did not want to leave baby yet at 4 months..He was angry as was his mom. I wrote a post on FB about how crazy it was being judged for being a concerned mother..and got 50 supportive comments. We have gotten in huge fights before and I have came to my mom’s and then things were better, and I would go back to our place. Not now..Now he’s done with me..He’s most definitely the “angry” guy.. So much so..Idk what to do. I kept posting things..and he kept getting angrier, so blocked me. I have been a mess… At first he said he just needed time and space..and told our mutual friends he wanted to work things out..but he’s hot and cold and it changes everyday..I have been at my mom’s 1 month now..When I 1st was going to “his” apt..what he calls it now bc he pays the bills..I quit my job when I got pregnant bc he said to and he would take care of us…he would hug me..kiss me..say he loved me..still always calls me “baby” and when I asked why. He just said bc he was used to it.. I admit I begged at first..cried..for him to take me back..promised I would change..bc I am most definitely changing..and everyday was different..One day..he would say “I believe in u” next “I can’t trust u and cannot b with u”. I am seriously a mess.. I started the No Contact..which is hard with a baby..and he did respond..He thought I was seeing someone, and when I didn’t respond to his mssg asking if I was..he flipped out. When I went to pick up our baby and was late bc I had a Drs appt..he was sooo mean..screaming..He coukd never be with me bc of things like this..I’m so irresponsible and selfish.. Soo many other things. His friend is staying there at our place now, and he packed up one of my closets and also now wants to “meet” to drop off and pick up baby and when mad said he didn’t want me in house. We had talked about him packing up some of the decorations..which he did, but not my closets..so hard and hurtful.. He has sent me mssgs that he misses me and I am “hot” and gets jealous and asks me where I’m going and who with when I drop our baby off..but is sooo mean for the most part.I would NEVER take this from a guy..except I feel I pushed him here..I was kind of terrible and was extremely selfish and jealous and controlling..I’ve apologized profusely..and it does no good…No matter what I do or say..It’s not good enough..When I try and remind him of a good memory..he will say “that was 1 month of 2 and a half yrs” and just focuses on alll the horrible things. I don’t know what to do anymore..Before he blew up about me being late he had said if we ever did get back together, it would be a long time or else this would all happen again. I agree..but it’s so hard dealing with this everyday..He just won’t see that I am working so hard to change..and it hurts so bad he’s moving me out..He’s always been pretty ruthless when mad..we both kind of are..but then we get over it..Not this time.. I was trying no contact..did 2 days..then last night he messaged me at 2 am about something important he KNEW I had to respond to..Today I sent him pictures of our baby dressed up for Halloween..and it started a war bc all he says is how terrible I am..I said “let me know when you have anything positive to say” and Idk what else to do..He hates me it seems..I want another chance to show him how amazing I can be..how do I get it?? He’s full of so much anger..and I truly do not think anything I did was THAT bad..He’s very prideful, and I think he’s mostly mad I publicly made him look bad..and his mom..on FB..I apologized like I said..and to his mom..yet still not good enough..I just do not know what else to do..Pleasseee Help!!!

Priyanshi

October 31, 2015 at 6:39 am

hey..!!
its about 1 month he didn’t messaged me only “good night” and “good morning”…i seriously want him back but i don’t know he love me or not..i can’t without him..!! i want him back but how to get know that he love me or not..:(

Victoria

October 30, 2015 at 3:28 am

I feel like I may have a very bizarre situation. My ex & I had been together for about 2 years (couple short lived breakups during the first year), and lived together the past year. He broke up with me two weeks ago … over something I thought was just the normal hiccup, we move on, realize it was nothing and everything is fine. But he surprised me by breaking up with me and his reasons being some that I know were lies.. but delivered to me in a very mean, hurtful way. But he asked me to move out, and i did over the course of 4 days which during that week, it seemed we were reconnecting and perhaps just some space would be the key to revitalizing our relationship. He never asked for my key back, didnt seem annoyed or mad if I stopped by to grab things here and there and after a few days he seemed to like me stopping by. And we even made a plan to spend time together a week later. But then things took a turn for the worst and we had a huge a fight that night we had been hanging out. There is a good age gap between us, me being 25 and him 38, and after the fight, I was so distraught I went to my dad’s house and he saw some of the things my ex had texted me after the fight, my dad called him and said some words to him, but ultimately said not to contact me again and i would not contact him as well…. Now, i am almost positive my ex has blocked my number, and I have him blocked him on facebook. He deleted all my friends from his facebook as well. So it’s been two weeks since the initial break up, but a week since the absolute no contact… Despite how horrifying the last night we saw each other and talked to each other, I do know everything was misplaced anger… so when the 30 days are up… should I send an email or unblock him on fb and msg him? I have the understanding it may not ever be a relationship again, but honestly… he was my best friend and I do care about him and would like to not have this awful thing between is forever.. What do you suggest is the best time and method or reaching out to my ex?

Ursula

October 28, 2015 at 10:24 am

Hey Chris, I was wondering if you could help me here:
He broke up with me because he was ‘craving for freedom’ (Yes, I was clingy… He felt trapped – my mistake) but he loves me (according to what he said). After we broke up I agreed on staying friends but quickly realised it will drive me insane so i said in this case it would be better for me to vanish from his life. He had a huge panic attack then and cried a lot (clearly didn’t want to let me out of his life) I said my goodbye but then the pain was terrible and I called him asap asking to stay friends. He agreed (although I know he was tempted not to – his pride and stuff after I rejected his request to remain friends). Then for two days I was texting him, hoping to actually get his attention but he was hardly replying. Yes, I am aware of the amount of mistakes I did here. We had an argument because he promised me a skype call that day but then said his ‘plans changed’ and I was so pissed I said something like ‘I’m sorry but I have a feeling you are doing this intentionally’. he said that was mean and was obviously annoyed with me. I apologized, agreed that shouldn’t have said that. I was at the peak of desperation so I simply texted him ‘I am sorry for being a bad partner and even worse friend’. He didn’t reply and I applied the NC ever since. It’s day 3 atm, He didn’t try to reach me so far (I understand he needs to have some rest from me).
In general our relationship was happy and VERY passionate. He was calling me the love of his life even after we broke up and the only reason we split was because, as he said, he is afraid that he won’t be able to do something because he is in a relationship. In that case: when I know we were a good couple but I had this pathetic and miserable behavior and I know he is still somewhat annoyed with what I said and how I acted: What do you thing are the chances of him missing me if I’ll make it through NC, but I know he may not text me in the meantime at all because of his pride? (Note: NC – So far it’s going good, I am staying busy).

Dar

October 28, 2015 at 3:48 am

Hi Chris,
I have to start by saying how helpful your website has been in helping me deal with my break up. In fact when I feel stressed or upset I open your page, red an article and I feel calm. So thank you!
Here is my story. My ex bf and I were together for 10 years. 4 months ago I knew we were headed for trouble and 2 months ago he broke it off. We were approaching our 10 year anniversary and I mad the mistake most girls make and old him that I expected a ring because it was time. I think the main reason for the break up was the pressure of this and as the anniversay day approached he became more and more distant. On the day of he aced like it was a normal day and we had nothign to celebrate or talk about. Obviously that upset me and we began to fight. Eventually he dumped me saying that he wouldnt marry me because i am fat ( i am normal and have been the same for the past 7 years) , that he was never proud to be with me which is why he kept me away from his family ( redflag i know) and finally he said that he couldnt give me what i want and he no longer loves me. Now obviously he crushed me and I had all kids of meltdowns. He old me he wanted to be friends and we would see each other one in a while during the 1st month but each time it mad me feel worse and i said enough. I booked a vacation and started the NC and before i left he text me to see if I wanted to see him and i didnt reply. While on my trip i resisted the urge to txt him Happy Birthday and he didnt message me anymore. When i got back i caed and txt him happy bday. He responded very positively and kept saying how happy he was to her from me and that he really doesnt mid tlaking to me so i should keep in touch. After that we met for coffee and it was clear to me that he won. He wanted to be friends but said he didnt see us together and that he is at peace now. That was hard for me to her and I feel like im back to day 1 of our break up. I started the NC again but I really dont know if I can win him back baed on things he said. He wasnt proud of me for 10 years?? He doesnt love me?He is happier without me? He keeps saying im great and all but he needs to figure out his life and i dont bring out the best in him. Am I hopeless?? what shoudl i do?

Thanks so much for your dedication for helping women:)

D

stephanie

October 25, 2015 at 1:00 pm

Hello I am just curious would this stuff work on a guy I’ve only dated for a few months . He decided that we live different lifestyles ” I like you alot but we can’t be together “. Basically we dated for 2 months everything was great and we really liked each other . Then one day he said he couldn’t do it cause he already had so much stress on his plate with work. I have a 4 year old who he loved to see but he is scared about being step dad he wants his “own family” although he still talks to me everyday and says he misses me and that it will be hard when we stop talking. So this is how the Convo went yesterday he texted me saying we have to stop talking , he said “I know I keep coming back cause I really like you but I will end up hurting you” I just responded “ok” he said it’s sucks and it’s going to be really hard not to talk to me . I responded with “yeah.” He then asked me what I really think about this while situation

So I said this : I have wanted to sit you down in person for so long and tell you this but always chicken out cause I’m afraid to cry in front of you , I guess over text will have to do . When you’re in a relationship it doesn’t matter what’s going on around you. You could have loved ben as your own and Ben would have loved you like a dad.. so you didn’t make him but you would have raised him with your mentality , your beliefs. And as for kids of your own you still would have had them . Plus a boy that you would have been proud to say , his dad wasn’t around so I stepped in . As for us having different lives , we could have grown together. I would have never asked you to give up ur beliefs or religion . Parenting styles are always different but also something you work on together I have already learned so much from you . It’s also balance it’s team work. Sure we would probably have disagreements but who doesn’t . You work through them . I have been wanting to say this for a month now and I hate that I had to do it over text . And this is probably coming out all wrong but wtv

He then responded :
I know I kinda agree. I never said I didn’t think I couldn’t love him. U saw I was good with him. And it means a lot to me u said all that it’s nice to know you were willing to do all that with me. It’s just a lot for me. The religion thing, court, I hated the drinking, I live far, the step dad thing, dealing with his dad, it’s a LOT to handle
And with my family. They wouldn’t approve. They don’t agree with the life style. Like there is so much I just never wanted to make it complicated.

I didn’t respond because I actually didn’t even know what to say. And 30 min after he texted me again saying “you there ? ”

I said yeah I just don’t know what to respond

I asked so we’re never gunna be together he said no I’ve made up my mind I like you were just to different.

But I can’t help but think he didn’t give me much of a chance so is it possible to change his mind or do I walk away

Lola

October 23, 2015 at 10:04 am

Hey Chris, We were LDR and overall in a relationship of one year. To cut the story short I failed NC after 4 days. He bombarded me via whatsapp, text, mail. I gave in, replied back, called and (STUPID ME) begged him to come back. Next day he got suspicious and jealous there was sb else. He realized I am coming back home (not because of him) he begged to come and see me within a month (once I come back to my country). I gave in, replied, agreed. After that I decided I’d rather cut my fingers off then text again and break NC. So here I am 11 days NC fingers still alive with no sign of life of his. Did I ruin it with my previous NC breach? Will 30 days be enough? Or even eternity wouldn’t be enough in this case? Plus I have to say whatever you write here makes perfect sense and regardless of my final outcome thanks for supporting all the naive women like me 😀

Jess

October 21, 2015 at 12:59 pm

Chris,

I am unfortunately not perfect and it is something that drove my relationship to a breaking point. I don’t know whether to classify my ex as an angry guy, clueless guy or stubborn guy. I am a bit of a drama queen at times, especially that time of the month and I do not handle stress very well. I am also the type of person who wouldn’t necessarily share all of what’s going on in my life when it comes to my emotional state. We still live together. It’s been 4 days since we broke up and I’m pretty much going crazy. I know he had enough of how things were. He is living in a foreign country, no steady jobs etc. I have a pretty intense life and see him only in the evenings. He felt duty bound to be at home when in actual fact he was missing having the liberty to go out with friends without upsetting me or talking to me. Since this happened I have stopped talking to him but it’s not that easy as we live together. So the NC here is very tricky. I don’t know what I can do to try and win him back or make him change his mind. His friend said he highly doubts he will. I guess I’m the clueless one…

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