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5,234 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

  1. Mandy

    April 22, 2020 at 7:26 pm

    My boyfriend and I met online and kicked it started. I guess the connection was easier because we’re from the same country before he moved to Europe and he had always admired me even though I didn’t know him as at then. Note: we were in the same middle school. We’ve been in a LDR for 6 months and he broke up with me 3 days ago. His excuse was that he’s now taking all his classes online and doesn’t get enough time for himself and since it’s abnormal for couples to go 5 days without talking to each other, he suggest we go our separate ways to avoid future trauma. I felt I was the one doing most of the checking ups and he wouldn’t text me till I did. Initially, we used to talk most of the time via text or video call. So I gave time to see if he would ever text me first which he didn’t…for 5 days. I texted him on the 6th day asking if everything was okay with him and unexpectedly, he gave me that reply. I do love him and wish I could win him back. I know he loves me too but is feeling bad for the fact that we can’t communicate much. I had plans of coming to see him during my summer vacation but I guess it won’t be possible since we’re not together now. Do I still use the NC rule?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      April 25, 2020 at 10:34 am

      Hi Mandy, yes you still need to use NC

  2. Nancy

    March 8, 2020 at 6:21 pm

    Hi, I was in a LDR for 2 years. We both loved each other and tried our best to make it work. We both come from different religious backgrounds and that’s why we didn’t tell our families about our relationship. Everything was going smooth. He was the one always making things work but this year he wasn’t giving me enough attention and one day I was so angry at him and asked if he wants this relationship or not, to which he replied “I don’t want this anymore” and after that we didn’t talk for 2 weeks and then yesterday, I texted because I sent him a gift but the address was wrong so I asked him to pick it up from the nearest distribution centre but he ignored my text. Finally after 10-12 desperate texts he responded saying “I will pick it up. Please don’t text me again” this sentence triggered and i tried Winning him back. I literally begged him to come back but he said he couldn’t do it anymore he said he needs to focus on other things and when I asked him what other things he didn’t give me a proper reply. Deep down, I feel he’s seeing someone. But its been 20 days JUST 20 DAYS. I am not sure if he has moved on. What should I do to get him back? We both were pretty serious about relationship. I was even planning to move to the same city he’s currently living in after my post graduation.

  3. Jo

    March 2, 2020 at 8:04 pm

    Hi, some advice needed for my breakup.
    I was in a relationship for my girlfriend for about 5years and we just break up 3 days ago. However is it a peaceful break up as we didn’t cheating or do anything extreme. My gf gave me the reason that she already have no feelings with me and can’t see the future with us as she is not planning to come and stay over with me. The reason for no feeling is that I neglected her and didn’t made the effort to listen to her or guide her during recent years due to my busy work schedule.
    After that break up we still talk normally as we really appreciate each other and want each other to have a better life. During the chats she also did initiate chats topic and text me to check I did wake up in the morning because usually I will text her if I wake up. However in the night when I want to try to call her , she will find ways to avoid or reject the calls but still drop me a good night message.
    I am not sure if I should stick with the no contact rule because the main reason for breakup is that I am neglecting her during the relationship.

    And also if you would suggest me to use the no contact rule how should I start it? Because I am already talking with her after the breakup already.

    Thank you in advance

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 7, 2020 at 10:14 am

      Hi Jo, so you need to go into a No Contact, you just start. Drop off the face off the earth and just go into No Contact for 30 days where you work on yourself. Your ex is going to be confused, maybe angry, maybe ask you why you are not talking to them but that is the point of NC let them be confused and worry that you are moving on. Don’t worry about making them angry, don’t worry about being rude.

  4. Grace

    February 29, 2020 at 5:29 pm

    My ex and I met when he was in my city for work. We were head over heels from the start, spent every day together for the few weeks he was there, and agreed to do distance when he went back to his city (thousands of miles away) until I could come visit him.

    The long distance relationship was everything a girl could ask for and more. We had trust, communication, planned a future together, I even met his family at Christmas and I adore them.

    When I went to stay with him for about a month, I realized he’s actually WAY more important than he originally let on. Meanwhile, in this city I got very sick, and had no friends or activities to attend while he was at work. He was my whole world. This led to extreme insecurity and communication issues on my part, as I was very in my own head 24/7. I wanted to disappear and barely even SPOKE, because although I was confident before, I suddenly felt I had nothing to offer this amazing man.

    My last relationship and my father were both physically and emotionally abusive, and for that reason I will also do anything to avoid conflict. I almost never open up about negative feelings, but my ex doesn’t know the extent of this. Now I’m back in my city and my life, and we had an amicable break up shortly after I got back because he said the spark faded. And it had, because I had lost my confidence.

    I know we could reignite it if I was given the opportunity. I’m a catch honestly, I just needed time to remind myself of that. It’s been 10 days NC, he hasn’t reached out, and he doesn’t have any social media. I intend to do the full 30 at LEAST. Any other advice? This is unfinished business.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 12, 2020 at 11:17 pm

      Hi Grace so thats good you are doing the No Contact and for 30 days and make sure that you work the Ungettable information in that time

  5. Briana

    February 7, 2020 at 3:07 pm

    Some advice would be super please. Am dating someone (5 months now) who lives approximately 13000 km away. We are aiming to see each other around four times this year. The concern is that he is not consistent with his communication. He does contact within 24 hours yet many times the contact is superfluous. In person he is fantastic but I’m starting to believe he beats by the drum of out of sight, out of mind.
    I don’t want to break up with him but how do I let him know that the minimal contact is unacceptable.
    Thanks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 7, 2020 at 9:36 pm

      Hey Briana, if that is the case I suggest you match his efforts in communication. If he comments how you are not available to him as much as you used to be match his excuses, or tell him you’ve been busy with friends etc. On that note, it is not essential for couple to speak all day every day even if they are long distance. Arranging skype calls for a catch up a few times a week along with some texts through the day would be the MAX I would expect from someone I was in a relationship with

  6. Kasie

    February 6, 2020 at 1:48 am

    I was with my boyfriend for 1.5 years before he moved states to pursue work. We had such a strong, positive relationship. Working really well with the distance- we did this for a whole year. I thkught it was going great and i knew there was no end date to when he would be coming home, but he knew I was willing to move once I finished my degree. He broke up with me last week (Wednesday), saying he couldn’t give to me what I give to him, he wasn’t happy, he didn’t feel the same. It’s not me it’s him etc etc. I am trying to implement the no contact rule, it’s been 4 days. I have a total gut feeling this isn’t it and that there is more going on then he is not happy with me. Which I can’t understand as we had the most healthiest, positive, happy relationship ever. Also the fact he said he potentially sees my in his future, he wants time and space alone. I’m totally heart broken as I believe he was my soul mate. And even now I’ve tried reflecting and asking myself what I want, which is him. This is the second time breaking up, he broke up with me 3 weeks prior out of the blue and all responses were “I don’t know. Im not sure. I’m confused.” As I believe he is the good one and worth fighting for. I think I’ve read every single article on here to help me. I am struggling so much, I took the quiz and got 80/100. How do I get through the 30 day’s goal of no contact when I’m scared he’s too proud or stubborn to admit he made a mistake. I am genuinely worried somethjng more is going on, he was so cold when I asked for some closure. I don’t know what to do. I am trying so hard to stay positive with positive affirmations and working on myself, but I know he is so worth the difficult time. Please help!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      February 7, 2020 at 9:18 pm

      Hey Kasie if there is something going on think of it this way. You can not control that. What you can control is how you deal with the situation and how you work to become Ungettable and make him realise your worth. 30 days of No Contact while following the Holy Trinity work is going to make it possible where you stay strong.

  7. JJ

    January 18, 2020 at 11:53 pm

    He is not my ex. We met on a dating app. I’m 22 living on the East Coast and he’s 23 living in the Midwest. We’ve been talking for the past 4 months. The past 4 months have been amazing. We started off with a great connection and are so open and free with eachother. In our 3rd month of talking he made the spontaneous decision to book a flight to come meet me. We met eachother last month and spent a whole weekend together. That weekend brought us closer together and we admitted to liking each other and said that the chemistry was natural. At the airport he told me that we will see eachother again, he will come back and this isn’t the end.
    It’s been a month now and since the New Year started he’s been acting distant. He still texts me and sends me memes but he doesn’t flirt, doesn’t send snaps, and won’t facetime me unless I initiate it.
    Today we spoke on facetime and he said that he doesn’t want me to see him in a romantic way anymore and to not place these expectations anymore. His mind has changed and is reconsidering us. Despite being on the phone for over an hour it’s hard to understand his reasons for this change of heart. I asked if he likes someone else and he said that he doesn’t and isn’t in the space to commit himself to anyone. He feels the need to prioritize and work on himself and won’t be able to do that if he’s involved in a romantic relationship because he’ll prioritize that over himself. He said that he’s still been keeping contact because it’s easier to keep things light hearted and be friends than it is to be romantic.
    I asked if he still wanted to see me again and he said no because we’ll be in this cycle of building excitement, have a great weekend and then have it all drop when we go back home. It’s frustrating that he knows our feelings would spark in person and instead of pursuing it, he’s putting a lid over it. I’m even willing to fly to him but it’s still a no.
    For now we decided to give each other space and I guess start being friends? I have zero desire to be friends but I wish there was a way I could use friendship as a tool to bring us back on track. I feel so lost. I finally meet a guy who checks off all the boxes and it feels like he’s been ripped out of my life. What should I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 22, 2020 at 6:55 pm

      Hi JJ, so this is where you have been friendzoned, I am guessing because he does not want to deal with the long distance relationship and the hard times it comes with. If you want this guy to be interested in you then you need to increase your value in him, where you build up the quality your conversations you have with him rather than just how frequent they are. Posting that you are casually dating other guys and being on the dating apps is going to show him you are accepting his friendship and when you start getting to know other guys he is hopefully going to get jealous which will make him feel like he needs to act before you meet someone else.

  8. Tas

    January 14, 2020 at 1:09 pm

    hey ! thanks for this article, you gave me a bit of hope of getting my ex back even though it’s hopeless.

    Do you this would work? even though we broke up because of his parents not wanting us to be together. He listened to them, and he told me that I have to move on.

    Is this worth the try or not ?

    Thank you so much

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 16, 2020 at 9:14 pm

      Hi Taz, so you need to look at why his parents do not want you to be together? The fact that they did not want you to be together and he ended things that quickly shows how much influence they have on his life choices so if it something that can be changed, work on those things, if it can not then consider if its worth moving on as you are not going to be able to change those reasons, and you need someone who is going to stand up for themselves if their parents don’t want them to do something in their lives (this is basing it on the fact that you are grown adults not teenagers)

  9. Kennedy

    January 13, 2020 at 9:08 pm

    Hey, I dated this boy for a year before he moved three hours away for college. We had the best relationship and never fought until he moved away. We broke up mutually 2 months ago because he never had time for me between school and his extracurriculars and he thought it would be easier if we weren’t together. He insists on remaining friends and talks about possibly getting back together after this semester of school is over in the summer. I have begged him to get back together and to be with me these past two months, which I now know I shouldn’t have done. I saw him a couple of times over Christmas break and it was if we were old friends catching up, it was great. We still communicate on snapchat everyday but I want to know what I should do to get him back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      January 13, 2020 at 11:03 pm

      Hey Kennedy, I think if you want to get him back then you need to take some time to work on yourself, and consider if you are willing to and able to have a long distance relationship where you are not going to get much of his time as he is going to be studying, and partying with friends during college. Even if you are talking daily, you need to consider is this enough if you are in a relationship with someone? If yes then start following the program to re attract your ex

  10. Mathew Favour

    December 22, 2019 at 11:17 am

    My name is Favour I had a misunderstanding with my boyfriend over money issues and some other things .truth be told I told him some hurtful words like if can’t give me the money he promise then I will breakup I also went ahead to tell him that he can’t be reaping where he is not sowing
    I said a whole lot to him and after awhole lot he decided to breakup with me bcos i initiated it
    I really love my boyfriend a lot i just want him back please help me

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 22, 2019 at 5:58 pm

      Hi Favour you need to reach out after you no contact in a calm and friendly way so that your ex knows oyu are not angry anymore and hope that they are not angry either

  11. Ezzah

    December 11, 2019 at 5:17 am

    Before I had to forcefully move countries he’s always told me that he won’t give up until I say so but now a 2 months into the LDR he says that he can’t get over the fact that I left and he can’t do this anymore. He said he will post my things and message me when everything is sorted with my uni accommodation that I left immediately. He has already blocked removed me from Snapchat, changed his relationship status on Facebook to single and not talking to me. Since he stopped talking to me I haven’t messaged him back last we talked was the final try where I begged and asked him to call me back because we couldn’t finish the conversation and he hasn’t called me back. I have this feeling that after he sorts my place out there and mails me my stuff he will break all the contact block me from wherever it’s left. Once thing would like to add he haven’t changed his whatsapp profile picture of us but I assume he haven’t noticed that’s why. What should I do now? We never had a big fight or break up and were always happy when I was there and together until one day he decided that he can’t get over the fact I left. Should I still move forward with the no contact rule or maybe shorten the time period? Or should I do something else? Please help me I’m losing patience and fear I might show him that I’m desperate to get him back and annoy the heck out of him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 15, 2019 at 5:51 pm

      Hi Ezzah so you nede to do a full no contact where you do not speak to him for a solid 30 days minimum, no replying to messages or anything. You have broken up and you need to give him the chance to miss you and consider how he feels. And then from there you can start reaching out as a friend / treating him as someone new who you are trying to attract. Look up Chris posts about the texting phase so that you fully understand it before the end of your no contact

  12. Ezzah

    December 9, 2019 at 4:42 am

    What if in this whole situation it is not possible to visit him at any stage because of some other issues? And being able to meet him actually depends on being us together for a certain period of time (ie 3 years). What do you recommend in this situation.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 9, 2019 at 7:04 pm

      Hey Ezzah, so when you are in a long distance relationship the end goal is supposed to be about you not being, long distance. So if there is no chance of you ever being together then you are going to have to be worth the 3 year wait. Now in that time you can work on being Ungettable so that your ex feels you are going to be worth that wait. So consider the long term plans before focusing solely on getting your ex back

  13. Annie

    December 6, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 5 days ago. Long distance for about 7 months. Soul mate material. We never fought, had great communication, attraction& support of one another. From the same home town. Spent a handful of weekends together, met his family. Everything was perfect. Out of nowhere he broke it off saying there was no end goal. He didn’t ever want to move home and would never ask me to move with him. But everything besides that was so perfect? Cut off all communication texting calls & social media. I’m heart broken. Do I have a chance

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      December 6, 2019 at 5:14 pm

      Hey Annie, so following the program and read all the long distance information you can on this website to help you along the way. Following the program properly will give you your best chance of getting him back

  14. Josie

    November 20, 2019 at 11:24 am

    Hi there,

    Big fan of your website and articles! And right now I wanted to give this comment section a try haha.
    Almost 3 months ago my ex and I broke up, due to his starting career as a medical specialist which is of course very time consuming and the pressure to perform is high. I’ve been devastated ever since.
    We met oversees and it was so to say love at first sight.. after we both were back in Europe he immediately booked a flight (1hour flight) to come and see me and to figure out if it really was Love. Well it was and so our relationship started. Both head over heels! We can talk about everything, have the same values and we come from similar background. It just all clicked, was easy. He told me I was the first woman in his life that he would marry and that feeling was completely mutual. We were fantasizing about our future together and met eachothers families quite soon. We saw eachother about every 3 weeks so that’s quite often i’d say. But then he started working in a academical hospital and didn’t know What hit him. I could feel him being stressed but never could I imagine him breaking up with me after a month in his job.. over FaceTime. I decided to go there and talk, because i was not going to let the Love of my life to walk away like that. That was the bravest and hardest and best thing I ever did, because we talked and cried and laughed and loved that last weekend. Told him I Understood his situation and that I would take a step back for him to sort it out and get used to his new life and the pressure that comes with it. He made a rational decision so he told me, and still loved me, but needed to be on his own for awhile. Couldn’t handle the intensity of a LDR with it. Also he thinks it is too much for me to leave everything behind just to move to him (What if you don’t find a job here, What about your friends and your loving family). But he cannot decide that for me!!
    After that we spoke over text for like two more weeks, and after we both went into NC so it seemed. I was at an absolute low point and started therapy. He reached out to me once in a while and I did too. But not very long intense conversations or anything. Last week was his birthday and we talked on the phone for over an hour. Super fun and nice but again no emotional talk or hints at a meetup… I’m back at NC right now and would Love to know How I can get him to meet me in his city without me looking desperate. I’m afraid if I don’t take matters into my own hands, he will not step over his pride or depressing thoughts about us not working out and that he will forever be the dream man that ‘could have been’ for me.

    Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 23, 2019 at 10:03 pm

      Hey there, so your best chance is following the program where you also do some reading on how to do this when in a long distance relationship. Where you are willing to move to him which is great, you also need him to want you to go there too. Giving him a full No Contact where you do not speak or respond to him for 30 days is going to be an important part of your process

  15. Shant

    November 18, 2019 at 5:16 am

    He broke up with me and for a while before the break up he was distant and we had a huge argument and one or two the week after the breakup.this is both our first relationship and We both messed up in the relationship he was a stonewaller and I was a needy person. So before I went into no contact we agreed to FaceTime on thanksgiving.He also assured me that he wouldn’t be using that time for females but for himself which I trust bc he’s never been the flirty type. So I guess I shouldnt ask him bc that would only anger him?t has been 27 days no contact so far. For background we were in a long distance relationship for almost 2 1/2 years. So how would I build up in this situation being that we are supposed to FaceTime each other not text? Should I text him before thanksgiving? Also we were following each other on ig and he was watching my stories for the first week and a half then all of a sudden he unfollowed me. I never showed I was sad, I was showing I was having a great time without him actually. In the past, he Used to unfollowed me on ig or block me on other social media bc he said he was angry. Maybe he unfollowed me to get a rise out of me or bc he couldn’t understand how I’m doing so great without him? I didn’t unfollow him back bc I’m trying to make it look like I didn’t notice, even though it hurts. Instead I just deleted my Instagram app so I didn’t have the urge to see what he’s doing. However since he did that this past week my nervousness has from the first week of no contact had come back so sometimes it feels like I am going backwards. I honestly have spent a ton of tine with my friends and family got a new hairstyle and am trying so hard, but whenever I’m alone I think about him still which sucks. I’m glad I’m going over 30 days, more like 38, bc for some reason I still miss him so much. Also He lives in Alabama and I live in California. I have family in Georgia and he was there with me at their house last year. I am actually spending time in Georgia the week before Christmas so that would be the nearest time to see him. But that’s only a month after thanksgiving and I’m sure getting him back will take some time? Before I go to Georgia do u think that I should mention it to him that I will be around his area or no? Also the article mentions building the relationship through the phone but how often should u contact them after no contact . 3 days-week or more? Sorry for the long rant wanted to get all my concerns out now.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 23, 2019 at 12:25 pm

      Hey Shant, so no I wouldn’t send a thanksgiving message, also avoid birthdays and other holidays if they fall around your No Contact period. If you are going to be in his area the impact of posting that you are in his town and DID NOT reach out to him will affect him more. Making him wonder why you didnt and was anyone else with you and thats why you didnt ask to see him. Complete the No Contact and work on becoming Ungettable and then when you do reach out at the end of your 30 days (it is getting close to Christmas at this point so be mindful on what day you reach out) and just attempt to have a short positive conversation not about your relationship or the past. Just as friends and build it up gradually from there

  16. Sara

    November 16, 2019 at 6:28 pm

    Hi
    What if my ex online boyfriend doesn’t text me at all during these 30 days of applying NC rule because I told him I didn’t wanna talk to him anymore?
    Should I be waiting for him to text first?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 18, 2019 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Sara so it does not matter if your ex reaches out or not during your NC what DOES matter is you not talking to them for 30 days and working on yourself in that time. Then you reach out on day 31 with a nice friendly text to start a short conversation.

  17. Aisling

    November 14, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    I was with my boyfriend for 3 years in lreland, when he decided he wanted to go to Canada. I was not surprised as he always expressed his interest in travel. I am unable to work in Canada so he decided he’d go for 9 months. After 8 months he broke up with me in August, he didnt know if he’d be happy to come home and it led to many arguments. I was devastated. He said he just needed space to think as he still saw his future with me. I had already booked flights to visit him in October prior to the break up so I still went with two of my friends. When I visited him we had the best week, there was a lot of tears because he didnt want to loose me. He said we were practically back together and he just needed to make a commitment to a date to come home. He said the week I was with him was the happiest he had been since he left home and he had been lonely without me. Two weeks after I came home he decided he was done with the relationship and he didnt see a future with me anymore. I had pressured him for answer about whether ws were back together or not. Again I was devastated, worse this time then the first. I reallt thought we were gonna get back toegther. I offered to move over but he said no as he thought I would be unhappy as Im a home bird.He blocked me on all social media. After a week I emailed him and asked could we talk. He said he didnt want to talk just yet. I am now on day 7 of no contact.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 15, 2019 at 12:05 am

      Hi Aisling, it sounds as if your going to have to read up aobut how to get an ex back who is long distance and doing so learn about how to be Ungettable too. Giving him some space is going to be hard but you can 100% do the work that is needed. Maybe consider going travelling yourself (not to Canada) and show him you are more than just a home girl and are willing to visit the world

  18. Raay

    November 14, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    Hi Chris,
    Just two days ago my ex broke up with me, and I feel miserable. Background: I’m from Canada and my ex-boyfriend is from New Zealand. We met at a virtual game where you can meet new people and hang out in the game. It was on December 3, 2018 that we started dating. We met 3 weeks before dating. At first we decided that our relationship stays in the game, but months later we realized that we loved each other outside of the game and we chose to text and call outside of the game. Step by step we gotten more serious, we fell in love with each other(Well the day he met me, he fell in love with me already). He is such a good man, he treats me really good. I even decided to go see him next year in April. We loved each so much. He even said “The only way that you’ll lose me is if you’re unhappy with me”. I was indeed very happy with him. We had arguments but we overcome it and still stayed together. In September of this year he found an engineering job, so he work mornings until the evenings. Of course our time zone is completely different, he did not have much time for me which I completely understand, but he some how managed to find a time to call and text me. Later throughout the month, he started to feel stressed and getting lacks of sleep. Hes been going through alot, and I had to be there for him and support him, but with my selfish ways, i was getting a bit angry because he didnt had time for me, when I know hes going through some rough times. I started to swallow my selfishness and accept that he has no time for me and that I got to wait for him whenever he is free. We started to have more arguments because of me. He kept apologizing and i would just get annoyed, but after I realized what my action is doing, I calmed down and accept his apology and i even apologized to him for being rude towards him. The following month which is October, he was going through some rough times again, and of course im there to support him and give encouragement. I myself was going through a difficult time, where my anger takes out on people. I started to feel insecure about myself, and I never spoke my mind about it to him. He would always ask me “whats wrong” but i kept pushing him away by saying “nothing”, “dont worry about it”, “just leave me alone”. Until this day I regretted for saying those things. November came by… 2 days ago in the afternoon (for him is the morning in New Zealand), we were doing fine, we would say “i love you” and i told him “have fun at work”. 3 hours later, i started to feel insecure. So i asked him a question “have you ever thought about breaking up with me” and he said no and he asked me why. I told him that im not worthy, and he kept saying that I am. It was a back and forth thing which lead to an argument, he kept giving me encouraging words but i didnt accept it so we stopped talking. At that moment i post a Instagram story saying “just when people are there for you… i guess i was wrong”. So from there he saw it and he decided to break up with me. Of course I couldnt accept it, so i kept telling him to not leave me, i kept begging him. I was crying so much that I kept begging him to stay. I even asked him why now, we’ve been together for 11 months and that he promised me not to leave me. Its like he changed, he got colder towards me no matter how i plead him to stay with me. He said “ I’m sorry, it’s over I just can’t do this right now I don’t have the time or energy my stress levels have skyrocketed and I barely sleep anymore I love you but i cant”. He said he still loves me like how he first met me, but he cant be with me anymore. I was so confused and I don’t understand at all. I wanted more reasons why cant do it anymore. He want use to remain friends, which is fine.. but its hard for me because being friends with the person you love, hurts. I felt broken, I lost the most important person in my life. I love him so much and I wish we’re together. So I came to this site to find a solution. I want him back, but when I saw the NC rule, I decided to do it. Its really tempting to text him, but to get him back with no failure, i got to do the NC rule. I also need space to heal myself and get my life together. Thank you for this article, because I really need this and I’m trying my hardest not to feel miserable.

  19. Missy

    November 9, 2019 at 10:39 am

    Hi Chris I met this guy on a tour in overseas. I’m from Australia and he’s from Canada. During the last couple of days before our tour ends and before I’m due to fly back to Australia, I started realising that I have feeling for this guy and he felt the same way too. We started texting as I added him on FB the last couple of days and were smitten. When I came back to Australia we were still communicating daily. But 2 weeks after I came back, I think the idea and reality of LDR started sinking in and I got terrified and broke it off with him first of all, I never had LDR and secondly I didn’t know how to handle it because I am not a texter or a phone person as I’d prefer to meet with the person face to face and physical touch is important to me. But as few days go by, I really miss this guy and it’s doing my head in. So I said that I wanted to give this a try because I really like him. Not because I’m lonely but because I do see a future with him. Then one month later, again it was me who broke it off with him. Because I felt that I would be expecting a lot from him once i get too attached. He wanted to come and visit and I was excited when he suggested about it. But I knew I would be sad the moment he leave. I don’t know if I can bare that. I also seen friends who tried LDR but didn’t succeed. I also know that it takes a lot of effort, commitment and one has to make sacrifice or compromises. I don’t know if we would end up resentijng each other when we moved to finally live together and things doesn’t work out. I barely gave him and our LDR a chance to progress further. But I love this guy. And the thought of approaching him again yet feeling unsure of how to overcome my fear of LDR, being apart and not being there for special occasion and esp when he’s feeling unwell, I feel helpless. I want to care for him and be there. I just wish he’s here things would be so easy…. I don’t know what to do as my heart and mind is always in constant disagreement.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 9, 2019 at 3:22 pm

      Hi Missy, so this situation is tough but only YOU can decide if you are prepared to do a LDR, where the eventual out come either you move to Canada, or he comes to Australia to you. This is such a future conversation that it would make it difficult to have that conversation with him so soon, yet your fears are already there after a short time. If you decide you want to go for it with the LDR I can advise you further if you choose to move on there is an article about how to do that on the website. There a plenty about how to work a LDR break up too if you feel you want more information

  20. Patti

    November 8, 2019 at 10:59 am

    I met my ex on a dating site. He was the first and only guy I talked to on this site. We started talking on the phone and talked for about 4 hours every night for a week and then we both traveled to meet eachother half way for a weekend. Things went great and we continued talking for hours every night. He hadn’t had a serious relationship for 10 years because he said he didn’t want to settle; that he wanted to feel “butterflies”. Well he said he felt those with me, something he had never felt before. Two weeks later I traveled to his place for the weekend and met all his friends and I fit right in and we had a blast. He said he was so impressed. We continued on the phone same as before and he would talk about how in so many months I would move to where he was. A month later I visited him again. He was supposed to come see me but his friend got married and didn’t want to miss it. This time things went great again except for the fact that I slipped out the word “love” and he didn’t exactly say it back. He said he was afraid of getting hurt. I let it go and didn’t think much of it. Two days after I went home I got fired from my job and was really emotional on the phone. Two days later is when he stopped calling me. He would text good morning and maybe one small text a day if even that. I stressed that I needed to hear his voice every day but that just put more distance between us. I became a wreck and after writing him a very long text telling him how I felt and then making a couple of comments via text about him not calling ever I decided I couldn’t take it any more and texted him that I wanted more, that I couldn’t be with someone that couldn’t make time for me. I told him to call me if and when he decided he wanted a relationship that worked towards a future together. He did not reply. Less than a week later I texted him that I needed closure, that I just wanted to know what happened then I would leave him alone… still no reply. I de-friended him on FB because it was just too painful just seeing his name. It has now only been 2 days.
    -Patti

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 8, 2019 at 9:16 pm

      Hi Patti so I suggest reactivating your Facebook to use to post how you’re living life and not sitting at home crying over him as he expects. Just dont use it to look at what hes doing just use it to your advantage. You need to complete a full 30 day No Contact and in that time focus on healing and becoming the Ungettable girl

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