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120 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Miss You During No Contact”

  1. Avatar

    P. B

    July 31, 2018 at 10:39 am

    Thank you Chris!
    The problem is that everytime I did NC happened the same: he texted (usually on day 30, I don’t know why) more affectionate, I started to build rapport and when he was closer he backed again. I feel he is always restraining himself to get attached to me and then he takes a step and after that…he chages and become distant. I use to be nice but not affectionate, I don’t react to his plans too much, just like “oh, not bad, could be funny” because I don’t want to scare him and still…
    I need to become his priority, his crush. I need him to stop holding himself back. I don’t know if that’s the distance (hates LDR) or what… And I am afraid this time he doesn’t text. He always did even if it took a month and even a month and a half once (and he texted to tell me that he was thinking about me and wanted me to know). But if he met another girl, if he has a crush on another girl I can’t get his attention. I am in the second week of NC but when the day 30 comes I don’t want to text him, he “rejected” me last time backing of from things he proposed and I can’t initiate. I need him to miss me but until now the circle repeated itself and now I am afraid he moved on for good

  2. Avatar


    July 31, 2018 at 10:24 am

    its around 7 weeks with no contact , as i told i unblock him few days ago from Instagram . and he received a message that i wrote before blocking him it was saying that i worry about him but he never feel and that i also really hate him now ,he answered me with a long message yesterday saying that he gave me his all and now its in the past and he dont care if i hate him or not and he just wish me to find happiness and he wish for everyone in his past and asked me to go and live my life . because its pointless to try anything with me because what we have done is only fighting .and i gave him only bad vibe
    i answered also with a sort of long message firstly i said that i have sent that last time we fight and i dont know why he is answering now .. then i said other things
    then his messages get shorter
    then i asked why he came back to whatsapp .if he needed to tell me something

    he said its for someone else i told him so u was lying to me and he change peole as he change his clothes .
    he said its a male friend and new

    i asked few stuff and his answers was short
    at the end i told him i need to go to buy some things and let him enjoy with his new friend
    he just simply said ” you too ”

    please just tell me from your experience does he really care inside and he dont show it ? or from his acts looks like he have nothing for me ?
    should i leave and save my dignity ?
    iam thinkig to just send him a message telling ” sure i will .. find new people as it was easy as did
    till u see what u missed “

  3. Avatar


    July 30, 2018 at 10:22 pm

    Hello! So during the breakup he said he doesn’t think that I am the one and he can see himself getting married to me but divorcing years after. He also said that he loves me, cares for me (not as a friend) and relies on me a lot more than I think. We both said I love you and that we will miss each other (he said he would miss me more) and he said that we just need to grow. (I made the comment that I wanted to grow together but he didn’t really want to do that with me since he had more life and dating experience) this was then I guess a mutual break up (idk) and we stopped talking. I missed him so much and after about 4 days or so I accidentally waved at him on Fb messenger (it was seriously an accident, trust me) I deleted it right after hoping it didn’t go through and all looked good. Hours later he says, “please do not message me at all in the immediate future.” I told him I didn’t, he mentioned the wave, then I told him that I was sorry it made him uncomfortable but he didn’t need to be rude or give an attitude and should have just ignored it. Why did he act that way? and immediate future sounded harsh. How long would that imply?
    ** most of this relationship was LD but we broke up a few days before I moved back and we had ups and downs and breaks throughout it** I am just confused. Thank you!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 31, 2018 at 12:42 am

      Hello Renee!

      So it looks like you would benefit by having a comprehensive ex recovery plan. There are a lot of moving pieces when trying to get an ex back. You have been dealing with some rude behavior, but know that people are rarely on their best behavior when the relationship is waffling. Go to my home page and check out some of the ebooks that will help you with a blueprint on how to move forward!

  4. Avatar


    July 30, 2018 at 6:59 pm

    hello ,
    i have text before asking what should i do . it has been 7 weeks with no contract( 9th of june) just in 20 of june i contact with his friend to make sure he is fine .
    and he messaged me telling me ” to stop and just leave like you said ”
    and i ignored him
    he never messaged back .
    just close to my birthday date he activated his whatsapp again ( he was telling me he was using this app to contact with me only ) but i dont feel he really care or he came for me
    few days ago i have unblocked him on Instagram
    today i liked one of his photos by mistake and unlike it again i dont know if he got the notification
    should i send him something like ” so you back again on whatsapp ? ” iam sure he will reply whatever i send but i dont feel ok sending the first message
    or should i wait more with no contact ? but im scared because our relation wasnt so strong . he was telling me iam all he have .. but we have been talking 4 months only with a LDR and we was arguing from time to time and he was always having problem making first step easily
    or it seems something hopeless and he did not care from beggining? because theres no sign that he care

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 31, 2018 at 12:46 am

      Hi Hana!

      It depends on how long you have been in No Contact. Better to grow attraction in subtle ways for the whole period of NC, then use my program steps to advance to texting and all the other things you should be doing. Have you picked up my eBook? It will really help you.

  5. Avatar

    P. B

    July 30, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    I am in NC but it’s not my first one. A year and a half since break up, we were in a LDR but we lived kinda near, now he lives across the country. I tried to build rapport and each time he was feeling comfortable, he got distant. At first I chased a bit, never gnating but initiating conversations, proposing to meet… It didn’t work. In one sincere conversation he told me he didn’t want complications in his life. About meeting in person, he told me “sure, one day but not now (a year after the break up). And when I want, you may not want anymore, I’d have to live with that”. Another NC and he texted. We entered in a loop: building rapport, he got closer, he proposed things to do together by distance and just after saying, before it happened, he backed again. I didn’t initiate, I waited. Now I’m in one of that kinda NC but I’m afraid he never come back. Three weeks ago we was proposing facetiming and saying he was happy, two days after saying it he said that better not now. Everytime he came back to texting I was nice but not affectionate, I was cool and kinda distant, like “whatever” even if I was hurt, because I didn’t want to scare him off. But he scared himself. Also I am afraid he may have met another girl. I don’t know what to do. Two weeks since he told got distant and even didn’t answer to my last text (I was responding to a question he had made). I’m not initiating, obviously, buy I’m afraid he never text again and date another girl. My friends say that he always texts again and this is one of that times he give a step towards me and then ten steps back. But I don’t know how to break that circle and how to make him miss me (of course I’m following this article but since it wasn’t the first time and we spent a month without talking other times) and I am.afraid he met another girl… I don’t know if it will be enough

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 31, 2018 at 12:49 am

      Hi P.B.!

      So there is a lot going on here. A bit of off and on, with him getting distant again. The way to break the cycle is to employ No Contact. You cannot live in fear as you can’t control what he chooses to do. But you can work on your self recovery needs and advance your ex recovery program. Go to my home page of this site and tap into some of the tools and resources.

  6. Avatar


    July 29, 2018 at 7:09 pm

    Hi Chris thanks for your reply. I was going through the resources: I find it confusing from last year, no idea why. I will try and work it out. The thing is: I feel like he hates me and just doesn’t want to know. I’ve tried to do no contact but I always break it after a week or so. I have no idea what to do now as I heard no contact becomes less effective. I only have WhatsApp and Instagram. He’s blocked me on both now. So how do I attract him if he’s blocked me from everywhere and how long should I do no contact for again?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 29, 2018 at 10:36 pm

      Your welcome Tina!

      The NC period is different for every situation. It can range 14 to 45 days. 21 days is fairly common. But one can modify it as well if you ex makes notable efforts to reach out in a positive way. But for you to heal and build value, such that he notices (and most guys will be keeping on their ex) you need to complete the entire NC period. So I have all the tools here from which you can choose to help you come up with your ex recovery plan so you know what to do and when and why!

  7. Avatar


    July 29, 2018 at 10:46 am

    Hi Chris please help me. Basically I was in a friends with benefits kind of relationship with someone from March til May. It kinda got serious and I got pregnant. Anyway had termination and in May we had an argument, I bombarded him with messages and he basically told me he hated me and blocked me on WhatsApp. After that, we met up twice after that, I think he’s seen me around a couple of times too, he blocked me on phone too, and told me he has a gf. He said he feels guilty for cheating but then called me a few days later to tell me that he saw me around and what I was doing. Last night I accidentally sent him a friend request on Instagram. He’s blocked me now. Argh I feel stupid. What do I do now because I read your article on blocking and I don’t think he will ever block me? What the hell its wrong with him? What do I do? I’m blocked everywhere

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 29, 2018 at 3:55 pm

      Hi Tina!

      Sometimes guys can be cruel and say and do mean things. Fear sometimes drives this behavior. Hopefully that is it and he is not just a bad guy. You should go visit my website home page and check into all the resources I make available to people to help them with their situation. You need to have a game plan to better your chances and I have written books and have done webinars all about that. Being blocked is not the end of things. That can change back. But healing and doing things to better recovery is your first priority.

  8. Avatar


    July 28, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    So how will exposing myself on social media make him miss me am I not suppose to be scarce?
    I feel like he will think I’m trying to get him to notice Me….he thinks I won’t ever get over him guess he is right.Or how long before I start this social media posting?

    I am pregnant…so I also can’t be all and about because it’s humiliating for me to be dumped and pregnant with my third child and no marriage.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      July 29, 2018 at 1:37 am

      Hi Evedney!

      That is how attraction works…using it in a subtle way coupled with scarcity.

  9. Avatar


    July 28, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    I’m really really scared that I won’t be able to get him back and that he’s moved on. I get the feeling that the reason he broke up with me was because I kept doubting if he loved me or if I loved him. He told me a week after the break up that he wants to stay friends, that he doesn’t love me anymore and can’t have a relationship with me. I’ve tried the no contact rule, but it hasn’t really been working very well… I get the feeling that he was way sadder right after we broke up… in between he seemed happier, now he seems sad again. A friend told me he looks sad all the time. I’ve noticed him staring a lot more when I ignore him completely, but also does things that make it seem absolutely hopeless (giving me my stuff back, telling a friend he really doesn’t want a relationship). Do I still have a chance at getting him back? I truly believe he loves me (even if he’s trying to convince himself of otherwise), but I think I spammed him so much and made him feel really awful during the last three months of our 10 month relationship.

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