5 Powerful Methods To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Losing You

1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

Lu

March 25, 2014 at 5:56 am

Hi me and my boyfriend have just split this is the second time we’ve officially broke up what I’d really like to know is will the NC rule work again the first time we split I used it and after 7months we got back together this time round he lacked affection and he started treating me like one of the lads granted I started to become paranoid and a week ago we started arguin non stop again we had a massive bust up after a night out and I mean massive he’s told me he needs to pick between love and reality and so he’s walked again will this work again or is it time to just call it what it is and move on?

admin

March 25, 2014 at 4:46 pm

NC can definitely work again.
Pat

July 7, 2014 at 7:10 pm

My boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago. I was not expecting it even though I felt him distant. At one point when he hot back he told me I was too emotional and he couldn’t have that with his job. We were not breaking up he just wanted me to be aware of that. I think it’s because I was trying to figure out why he was distant and I tried to ask but he was not communicating very much and I tried to push by texting calling emailing. I wish I could of just backed away and waited for him to come around. We are in our 40’s divorced. With this man I had an incredible connection. Not only physically, emotionally and spiritually. We shared something very important when he hot back from tour so he told me one night we went out that I needed to tell my sister and talk about it because I was not like him who could just put things in a box. He went away for two months on an extended tour not a soldier but he’s up there. His job is private. I had no contact from him, but I waited for him. When he got back I was the first person he saw. He seemed a little distant and on several occasions I tried talking with him, he said it always takes him a while to acclimate back when he’s been gone. Before he left things were great we were spending every minute we could together. He told me once he loved me and because of the type of man he is I knew he meant it and would never say something like that unless he felt it. It wasn’t in the beginning and it wasn’t during the heat of the moment. He also said that when I was ready to introduce him to my kids he was ready. He knew I wouldn’t do that unless I knew he was going to stick around for the long haul. There’s a place we go to have fun we were always together and people saw us as a couple. There’s a woman there who I knew liked him but he always said he had nothing with her and he always told her he didn’t want a relationship with her. He said they were just friends. When he got back things became weird people started gossiping that he was seen there with another woman while I wasn’t there. That same night that woman who liked him was there and I told her he had always said he had nothing with her and they were just friends she said that he had told her I was delusional for saying he is my boyfriend. When I was walking to the bathroom I saw her text my boyfriend and he was responding so I texted him and asked him if he said I was delusional and also asked about him going with the other woman. He said he had never said I was delusional but than I asked why he was texting with that woman. He turned off his phone and stop communicating. I tried to call and I texted him the next day he replied and said he was busy working and he would talk with me when he got a chance. I waited didn’t hear from him. So I sent him several texts and said please let me know when we can talk, he said that he would talk to me when he got back to our state but not sooner. So I a waited for the day but he never called so I texted him and said I don’t want an explanation I just want to know how you feel about me and if you want to work with me on our relationship. Than I said unless you want to be with this woman who will settle for just the crumbs you throw at them. He replied a few hours later and broke up with me on text. He said he had no explanation because he did nothing wrong and that he didn’t want to be involved with me because of the drama even if I didn’t cause it. That our relationship had run it’s course. He told me not to contact him and if I saw him at place to just say hello. Well we texted back and forth I didn’t beg him not to leave but I wanted an explanation and all he was doing was defending himself. This woman that liked him was telling people he was her ex boyfriend and then her friend told me that if she was me she would not be with him and she was just protecting her friend. Didn’t say why. I knew for a fact he had gone with the other woman and not say anything to me. I’m just trying to understand things I read about post traumatic stress disorder and with his line of work it’s possible he has a slight form, but it’s just my theory. I just felt like he wanted me but also that he didn’t or was not sure. He distant himself. I texted him the day we broke up then the next day I told him that I was going to a concert with someone who invited me that was just for distraction but I felt guilty even though we were not together. Except the guy I was going was this man who had an interest in me. My boyfriend didn’t like this guy so he replied and said that that’s why he couldn’t be with me because I made stupid decisions and he couldn’t be with someone like that. Than at one point he emailed me and said the only reason he was breaking up with me was because he was going to be gone a lot for his job and did not want to deal with me. I couldn’t coexist with his job. I waited for him when he was gone and no contact, so it was not about his job. He knew I’d wait for him I didn’t have a problem. He also told me he wasn’t communicating with the woman who started all the rumors, but I went to the place on Thursday and he went with his best friend and wife, then later this woman arrived and she would not leave his sight. They danced I never saw him touch her or buy her a drink but he danced and talked with her. She was with him all night. His best friend and wife left he stayed behind. His best friend was very nice to me he liked me a lot and one time he told me I wish you had met him 20 years ago because you are a very nice lady and genuine. He seemed perplexed as to what was going on but he knew we had broken up. Before woman arrived I tried talking with him I held his hand and he held mine back but didn’t want to talk he said he had been transferred for his job and we small talked. Than later in night he was by bar and I tried to talk with him but he just kept saying go home would not talk but when I left the woman was waiting outside for him because as I drove around I saw him with her so I imagine they left together. I don’t understand this, I know that I pushed him for answers but I was trying to figure out why his behavior since he got back. He’s been back for a little over 2 months. He fits some of the signs of post traumatic stress disorder but it’s just me trying to analyze things. I’m a very attractive woman and smart and so is he. We complemented each other in so many ways. We always could talk about anything and we had a great time no matter what we did. This woman always saw us together how could she not know we were together, and assume anything she saw us come together and leave together. She I imagine has low self esteem because she chose not to believe me even though I showed her proof, she’s heavy and she’s always just with friends, I was told she tried to get together with someone which I saw her hanging out with. Shes always out so I imagine she has no kids. I can’t see him with someone like that as a girlfriend. I know I bought into the drama and it felt childish. I love this man with all my heart and I feel so sad that he’s behaving this way I want him back but how he used to be with me. I haven’t contacted him since that day. I said nothing about him going home with her even though my heart was breaking and was my assumption, he saw me see them when I drove by. Can you please comment on this situation, is it even possible that he can some day realize what he threw away? I’m trying so hard not to contact him. But it’s hard because I’m sad and want to tell him how much he’s hurting me and why his behavior if we had it all to have a second chance at real love. It’s so hard to find someone you can truly connect in every aspect, I had never felt like this for anyone. Please give me some comments and tell me how I can try to handle this. Is there even a remote chance, I truly believe he will see what he lost someday.
admin

July 8, 2014 at 2:06 pm

How old is this girl do you know?
Pat

July 9, 2014 at 6:16 am

She’s 43 a year younger than me. I don’t think she has kids, she hangs out with just a group of single people around her age. Seems to party a lot and is a teacher for young kids. Seems insecure to me was always the one to come say hi to him when I was around.
admin

July 9, 2014 at 2:28 pm

42 and still partying…. Thats a bit much huh?
Pat

July 16, 2014 at 12:04 am

I don’t know if she’s anything he acts like he’s not with her when I’m there but yet he came with her and this is the woman that has claimed he was her ex who he claims was never with her and was not attracted to her. This is the heavy woman with the rumors. I’m asking for your opinion. I wrote the previous texts to try to explain. The most I can think is that he’s probably sleeping with her if that but yes hanging out with her how much I don’t know. He almost ignores her when I’m there except when she talks to him. This is the woman who started the gossip with her friends at club. He breaks up with me and is still talking with her. I don’t really understand his behavior, so I’m asking for your opinion. I don’t think he would see her as a girlfriend but who knows after his behavior. I’m asking you if you think he’s doing this to fill my void or not to think of me, or if you think he broke up with me to be with her. Except I feel that if he truly cared about her that way he wouldn’t leave her dancing alone and like a fool. She’s the one that gets close to him, but this is what I’ve seen when I’m there, I don’t know what he’s like with her when I’m not there. I don’t know what to think, at times I feel like contacting him and asking him if he left me for her. Should I even think that I can still have hope to get back with him. Please try to read my other posts so you can give me your opinion. Thank you!
Pat

July 9, 2014 at 3:20 pm

Yes. I mean I go out but not party that way and I share custody w my kids so really times I went out was with him. My life doesn’t revolve around that.
Pat

July 16, 2014 at 4:32 pm

Hi Chris, I think I wasn’t clear this is the heavy woman that started the rumors.
Pat

July 9, 2014 at 6:55 am

After reading your stuff, I realize that I did seem needy and nagged. I tried to get through to him to try and figure out why he was distant. This is before break up. Before he left on tour he told me he was great full for having me in his life. It might seem a bit materialistic, but he loved how I dress because he always dressed nice. He told me that I was a genuine person, and loved the fact that I was practical and not moody. This woman is nothing like me, I know he liked the fact that we could relate because we come from the same ethnic background. Even Thursday she was there but he ignored her most of the time. She’s a year younger than me but I look young for my age, I’m in great shape because I exercise, I’m very intelligent work in the medical field, and I’m very attractive. I don’t have trouble meeting men. But I’m not someone who goes out with different people at the same time. I have a very traditional upbringing, and he liked that about me. I don’t sleep around. In fact with him he knew I wouldn’t be with him unless we were in a relationship. So we took things slow. Everything I’m describing she’s not. It’s hard to think of him with her, but he’s known her longer than me. He always said they were friends and not attracted to her at all.
Pat

July 9, 2014 at 3:18 pm

I should also say that after him and I met a few months into our relationship he said he wanted to slow things a bit. He felt I needed to fix stuff in my life, so I backed away. We still saw each other and we both said we wouldn’t see other people or there was an understanding with that. It only lasted about 2 months if that than he started coming around like before. We started getting closer and just doing things together as much as we could. He told me that him and I were in a relationship we were not just dating, but I know during that time he was hanging out with this woman more or talking with her. He always said that there was no in betweens with him he was either with me or married to me.
admin

July 10, 2014 at 2:13 pm

How soon is a “few months?”
Pat

July 11, 2014 at 2:58 am

It was la little over a month and a half. We still saw each other and talked text but just not every day maybe every 2 days. It was during this time that he hung around this woman or talked I’m not sure. But she saw us at club and we were together. We’d still go out dancing. I sent him a similar text like the example you give because I felt that we ended ugly because of that Thursday. I started the no contact.
Pat

July 15, 2014 at 1:53 am

Hi I haven’t heard any comments from you, I haven’t contacted him since last Tuesday when I sent him that last text that you recommend if things ended in a bad note. I saw him this Saturday and he had arrived with this woman. He didn’t dance with her at all at least while I was there. But I was told he arrived with her. She was dancing and by his side but he hardly even looked at her. We barely said hello to each other. I just smiled and danced all night talked with my sister and her husband. I was dying inside, but it was nice that so many people were complementing me how beautiful I looked. Even strangers. I just have felt so down on myself, and I can’t even understand how he can act like this. Is he hanging out with this woman just to fill the void he feels from me not being there. I just can’t imagine him wanting this woman for anything other than sex or company. Even sex seems just so crazy with her because I didn’t think he would feel attraction that way, especially because we had a great intimate relationship. Not because of looks but because I really felt him and I had something really good and potential for being long term if not for always. People who knew we were a couple seem perplexed as to why he’s hanging out with this woman, after not even 3 weeks of being broken up.its hard not to contact at times because I just want to yell and ask him why are you with her and talking to her when she said so much that caused you and I to fight. Or ask him why didn’t you tell me you wanted to be with her if that’s the case. I’d really like your opinion please! Thank you! I will not contact because I don’t want to feel worse if he doesn’t respond.
admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:21 pm

You think she is a rebound?

Aniko

March 24, 2014 at 7:33 pm

Hi Chris,

My situation is a bit different from the other stories i read in the comments, unfortunately that’s why I can’t even talk about it with my friends, because a lot of them don’t get it, they take my boyfriend as a normal guy.
So, my boyfriend since his childhood is hypochondriac, and he was diagnosed with anxiety, and maybe If i’m right, he takes antidepressant since 2 years.
He only warned me about this fact, – that he takes these pills – when we were going out for 1-2 months. But he said, that he has control over himself, and he’s about tapering off! Slowly the act of the first few dates, i recognized, that he isn’t that strong guy he wants to look like. In fact.. he cried a lot, really a lot, and was extra-sensitive sometimes.
In our relationship a special point is that we got fallen in love with each other after nearly breaking up for 3-4 times! These hard moments made us believe, we want the other one for good! In most cases i was the one who initiated the ‘we should keep on’-idea, and he was always glad to hear it from me, firstly he always acted like strong and unconvincable, but then cried of the relief, that we are keeping on. But it was always my mistake, at that time i couldn’t really trust him, and i showed him my true feelings only at the breakups. Then our relationship flourished, we were extremely happy with each other. He did everything to me every day he proved his love for me, i did it too.
So we were going out for 15 months , and since one and a half week, we are finally over.
Why? We two had hard times in our lives. In september, I’ve taken up a new 2-year-course while my university (i’m a student, 21 ; he’s 27, and working) ; and he’s also started one (but lasted for 2 months) while his work. Slowly we totally left our friends, and became best friends with each other. As December came by, i sometimes felt really bad about missing my friends, i often felt lonely while being at my boyfriend’s place. I nearly lived with him, he often begged me to move to him, but i did not want to because of my school. So he turned to be very sensitive and convinced, that i don’t love him anymore, and i don’t feel myself good with him. But it was only a winter-depression, a huge amount of stress i’ve had. And he thought that he’s not good enough. And as January came by, he got sick – and when he gets sick, he gets really anxious. He did not care about his antidepressants, and his other medications. And one weekend he increased his dose of antidepressant without asking his doctor ! At that time i did not know what i know now, that antidepressanst often have an influence on relationships. Whoever takes it can fall out of love in a day.
And that’s exactly what has happened 🙁 From day 1 to day 2, at first he proved he never want to let me go, he loves me the best in this world. Then next day he drives to me, and says he never loved me, he just acted like that, he does not want this relationship. Nobody, even his mother did not get it why did he say these things. (He lives in the same panel house with his mother, but not in the same flat, so she knew things). And what was strange, that when i spoke to him, i convinced him, that it is not true what he says! I told him we should keep on, and that i will help him in his hardships. And since January for 3 months that game was happening all the time. For a week we were fine, and WHENEVER i wasn’t smiling he came again with the sentence ‘Nono we should break up, i am not i love’.
When he was normal, he often said to me, that i should slap him in the face when he turns crazy and say illogical things. No, i did not do that. I always said nice things to convince him from the past and for the future what would happen if we keep on.
But it was humiliating for me. That he never really fought for me. And after a time, i got tired. When i got tired in the first few times, he begged me to keep on, because he needs me, he does not want to lose me ! but as February came by, whenever he saw me being tired, he always offered the wonderful idea of breaking up .
On the 8th of march he turned crazy again because of me saying ‘you are so silent, why?’. We were planning a holiday week, and even our summer holiday. And he again said HE’S NOT IN LOVE, what should he say? He said even when he was looking like he’s in love, he was NOT! WHY DON’T I GET IT. And the next moment he brought me home, and aked for my keys. I didn’t want to convince him anymore. I left him without a word. He said he goes home to collect my things. After only ONE HOUR he called me on phone, and cried, that he can’t collect my things, he doesn’t want to leave me, he misses me, this relationship is the most precious in his life, we should meet up now. I said it’s not a good idea, so he offered a 2-week break. He even admitted that his antidepressants might be a reason for his bad months. Only a week was over the break, he called me cheerfully and said, that he’s fine (without me), so he collected my things and will get to me in 20 mins……………..
When i came to the door while crying so loudly i saw that his face was red too of crying.
He even wanted to hug me, but i ignored it. He said he’s sorry for the painful things he did, he wants to keep the contact if we both have moved on………
NOT A WORD about ‘sorry i want to cure myself before the reconciliation’..
I didn’t beg, didn’t say a word.. And since that day i followed the no contact rule, yesterday was an exception.
He has never been that active on facebook.. he deleted ALL the pics of us (100 photos at least), he even went to his facebook wall and deleted everything what was connected to me.. he liked photos of girls he knows i was jeleous about, he posted a lot of blog posts, wanted to show me, show everyone, that he’s fine, and he is the most released person in the world. Nobody got this. Because nobody knew about his depression, only me and his mother.. He talks to noone about his feelings. I know he’s now having a psycho therapy – it was my suggestion during February..
I didn’t do anything on my facebook. I disappeared for him for a week. We have NEVER spent a day without getting in contact with each other! So it was extra hard for me not getting in any contact. But i knew that he will feel terrible about letting me go. I knew he made himself believe that i was the reason for his illness, and he has to experience life without me.. And then i finally got a facebook message YESTERDAY. after only a week !
The message however was not that positive. It was about feeling sorry about NOT GETTING IN CONTACT WITH ME, and DELETING of our pics, he had to do it because he felt awful when he looked at them… (Which is hilarious due to i did not show him any sadness about it) He wrote that he is totally sorry for causing me a lot of pain, it hurts him a lot. And that we should talk soon, as he wants to be friends, but not now, because it would harm the wounds…………. Also he said he knows my friends will take care of me, and admitted (again, like we had a conversation before…) that we had wonderful times together (then why did he break???).
He also wrote that he WANTED TO HAVE A BETTER CLOSURE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, but circumstances made it impossible…….. (like he was thinking of the closure for months, like he was never begging to keep on when i got tired of him…)
Also he wrote, that if i want to talk, he’s absolutely fine with it, if it HELPS ME (to forget him? haha), so i should contact him, if i want to talk, because it’s a minimum after me helping him a lot……
He also complained me how a strong woman i am, and how few people are there with such an ambition i have………….
I freaked out. At first i thought it’s a sign for a REAL closure. But when i showed it to my mom, she bursted into loud laugh. She said HE IS TOTALLY MANIPULATING ME.
He got used to me begging for keeping things on, but now i disappeared and he can’t get it.
But he is not that brave to write ‘i miss you’, instead, he writes awfully hurtful things to freak me out, to get the phone to my hands and call him to meet.
After an hour, i answered him only ‘thank you, have good evening you too’. I bet he was shocked when he got that answer 🙂
What do you think Chris, was my mom true? Is he really manipulating me?
I am continuing the NC, and hope to have him saying ‘i want you back ‘.

admin

March 25, 2014 at 4:36 pm

Yup, I think your mom may be right.

Have you read my guide on what happens when a guy uses you?
Aniko

April 14, 2014 at 8:01 pm

Thank you for replying. I read your article about using me, but everytime when i rethink the relationship we had, it turns out how many things he did for me. Really. And i realized during the past month how many mistakes i made.
But now what i built up in 1 month it totally crashed in a minute. I am so devastated and tired now. I can’t figure out how can so much love we shared just turn into nothing?
I did NC, and he kept trying to hurt me. He liked photos of girls he knew i was jelaous, he was writing blog and all the social network he’s on, he showed to EVERYBODY how relieved he is now! Every day he deleted something about us, like he knew i am checking it.
He even invited me to a dating site he registered on (after 1,5 week) “by accident”. Every day he added new and new (girl) friends on facebook. Funny fact, that they are not his friends anymore..
All these things made me think these are just mindgames. It’s impossible that his feelings towards me after sharing so many great memories he is able to do that… but why i he acting like that? Because i am not calling him like i used to do?
One day he liked a photo “if you love her you let her go, if she loves you she will come back”. I was thinking on it, because he never likes such quotes.. What is strange a fake facebook added me as a friend. He was the first who came to my mind, that he wants to check my fb, because he doesn’t understand why he can’t know about me anything. But i dind’t confirm the request, and few days later it was deleted. And also, i don’t know why, he blocked some posts from me! They didn’t make any sense.
Because my boyfriend is the type who is extremely hurt if they are ignored, i initiated contact after 2,5 weeks because of his nameday, he thanked, and that’s it.
I waited 1 week, i initiated contact again. I wrote a nice message what beautiful places i saw, he should go there and make some photos. This was the first time that he asked me, how i was!
And i wrote what i was feeling at that moment. I was calm and happy to write him.
He wrote hooow happy he is that i’m happy and fine! – it seemed to me he wasn’t really happy about that. He excepted me to beg him and cry on the phone..
Everything was fine. I felt better in the past week, i planned to make some more contact and then call him to meet up. BUT a huge mistake i made a few days after the break up, and it made impossible to implement the plan. I wrote our common friends twice, when i panicked and felt terrible. How fool i was i believed that they keep their promise to not tell him i wrote them. And they met up yesterday.. and they told everything ! EXCEPT the last message we had, in which i told them i am feeling better…..
So i initiated a contact today, another friendly not pushy message. And my ex wrote an immensely hurtful message. That we shouldn’t keep contact, he heard how messed up i am, and i am stalking his facebook ! So he thinks the best is that he will block some stuff from me, he doesn’t want to hurt me… He wrote again he would be happy to be friends in the future if we both moved on, but “there is a chance this will happen and of course maybe won’t happen”. YOU SEE? He acts like i was never a thing in his life! Like he is not having any feelings towards me. However i started to feel myself better, and that was my facebook telling too !!!!
So i wrote him that i am sorry for making the mistake IN THE PAST for telling about my pain to our common friends. And that if it’s true what he wants, then be it. If he wants to talk, he can contact me..

He wrote me immediately. Again, assuming i am lying about my betterfeeling! “Ooo don’t be sorry, i am not mad at you, it’s totally obvious that you ARE feeling terrible about the break up. I am happy you see that way, you will see it will be easier for you too! So have a good time in your life until we speak again!”

Am i crazy when i see again only manipulative words? Is anybody able to NOT HAVING any feelings for a partner whom with they slept all night, and with they spoke to all day and night?
Will he change his mind ever? 🙁
admin

April 15, 2014 at 4:14 pm

He sounds really resentful and angry.

Grace

March 24, 2014 at 4:18 am

I’ve agreed to the NC rule with my ex. But he still messages me on Facebook at times. So far, I’ve read all of them but not responded back. If he continues to do so, should I “read” his messages where it will be seen to his Facebook chat as “read” (but he’s not getting any reply from me) or should I not read his texts at all? Thank you
Sabrina

March 23, 2014 at 11:19 am

Hello Chris! Congratulation on your new girl she’s so beautiful! (Saw it on your Facebook).

Still following your guides in self-improvement and becoming the “ungettable girl” 🙂 haven’t contact him because of his GF it is really hard to communicate with my ex knowing his GF likes to lurk, (for the love of God, give him some privacy! Lol). Im in touch with his mom (she treats me like her own and daughter in law) .
She told me that my ex is still asking about me and his GF is controlling him not to resign from the company (where she also works) – before my ex and I separated, he wanted to resign and work for his dad’s company, i totally supported him back then, because he wanted to be a medical representative. But right now she is controlling him not to submit his resignation letter. ALSO i remembered my exbf told me that when he resign, he will no longer see that woman 🙂

admin

March 23, 2014 at 5:13 pm

Thank you!

She is something… something very special.

Hmm… sounds like her controlling nature may be her undoing in the long run.
sabrina

March 24, 2014 at 3:28 am

You are welcome 🙂 im soo happy for you! I hope you will still continue writing your guides.

This happened just today, my exbf contact one of our common friend in college. He said that my ex said “hi how you (insert friend name), are you with sabrina last march 13?” March 13 was the date of my Facebook status were i tagged our friend. Its funny to think, he cannot see my posts because i have my profile on private. Unless he used his little brother account and saw my status or his mom told him that our college friend and i are talking :).
I heard that his GF is bad mouthing him on Facebook, posting a status “if you cant love me etc” and inserting his picture down below. What a rude thing to do!
admin

March 24, 2014 at 6:01 pm

Ya… sounds like their relationship is getting rocky.

And writing these guides is literally my job. I can’t stop. EX BF REC is my baby. I want this thing to grow HUGGGEE!
Sabrina

March 25, 2014 at 7:43 am

Thank you Chris im a fan! Good thing i found your site after a week of my begging phase last 5 months. Your guides help me to cope with my breakup Just finished reading your facebook guide. Im pimping up my profile just incase he will stalk again 😉 thank you x regards to your lovely lady!
admin

March 25, 2014 at 4:47 pm

Thanks for the kind words.

I hope you get everything you want. I really do. Keep up the good work.

Ida tolvanen

March 23, 2014 at 12:40 am

I dated my boyfriend for a year. I met him in highschool and he is 17 and im 19 now. After a year he completely left me and 3 days later for another girl. I lost all contact, and since I work with him, I changed my schedule. He came running back 2 months later and we started talking again and picked up dating like nothing hapoened. I have a personal problem with dumping him when he pisses me off, so I had received some bad news and I took it out on him. He stopped speaking to me and I finally got him to listen. I met him one day 2 weeks after that wholr thing and he said he had found someone else AGAIN. He wanted to still be friends and said I can comr vent to him still and I said no I will let him be. He then 2 days later made plans with me, stood me up and I sent him a closure text. We havnt spoken since which is about 2 weeks now.
I work with him and see him maybe twice a week at work
What should I do to mske him regret leaving me again and ultimately have him crawling back?

admin

March 23, 2014 at 4:56 pm

Are you two seperated?

I mean, him in HS and you in college?

Anonymous

March 20, 2014 at 2:41 am

Okay so my boyfriend and I dated for 8 and a half months and I thought things were going great. I loved him a lot. I saw myself having a future with him an we even talked about that a lot. He would say he loved me all the time but it was a long distance relationship. He broke up with me about 2 and a half months ago and he told me at the time that his parents made him. Then about 3 weeks ago he told me that he broke up with me because he didn’t love me anymore. I want him back and I understand things I did wrong that could’ve upset him and I am changing lint you said. What do I do now though? We haven’t talked and it’s his birthday tomorrow.
Martha rojaaas

March 18, 2014 at 8:32 am

Hey Chris! If you scroll down you might remember my whole break up drama lol it’s been 2 months of being single and to be honest I got
Tired of being treated like nothing by my now ex bf so I’ve noticed that your advice does work when you apply the NC they eventually talk to you after at least 20 days !! The thing for me is that my ex told me
Last time (about 3 weeks ago) that we don’t stand a chance anymore so here I was next day after that just focusing on continuing my life, I have some of his friends on my Facebook and they always tell me I look so happy,even if I’m not completely happy I didn’t message my ex bf so we didn’t talk for at least 2 weeks and then he messaged me again just to send me a photo of this character I like and since I hadn’t text him (cuz I only text if he does first) he told me “Hope you have a good day. Sorry for lag. Haven’t really text anyone these days” …I said “no problem ” he saw my message but didn’t reply … My question is if he doesn’t want to be my bf again why does he keep telling me he only wants me to be happy ,then goes away then messages again like days later? And when we text he keeps it all akward ? As for me my feelings have faded but I just do t know why he’s like that? Yea he’s always been immature and never made his mind but if he doesn’t want to be my bf and acts akward as a friend.. What does he want? Can it be that he regrets leaving me?
Nata

March 12, 2014 at 6:25 am

Hi Chris, it’s 12 days since my NC from the last break up with my ex. He hasn’t contacted me in any way. There is so much I want to talk about with him, it’s hard to go with 30 days rule. But I know he may need longer time, as before the last break up I annoyed him big time with calls, Texts, visited him at his work even (but we were talking still after saying good bye to each other). This is the longest time off we had. It’s so hard!! Should I wait more or should I really move on? The main reason for our break was not trusting and not direct communication with each Other (character differences we both an see but we love each other and feel great amount of passion). I so need some advise, don’t know what right in my case!!! Thanks and hope to get reply at this this time 😉

Luna

March 13, 2014 at 4:15 pm

Sorry, I’m just a fellow heartbroken girl, but I wanted to reply because my situation is very similar – we had broken up once before, I was desperate to get him back and annoyed him constantly, this time we haven’t talked in two weeks and he acts like he’s happy without me and doesn’t care…also our reasons for the break-up are similar to yours. Honestly I would say wait the 30 days as hard as it is because any chance that exists, you don’t want to extinguish. It took 8 months the first time for me…
Nata

March 15, 2014 at 10:17 pm

Thanks for the reply 🙂 it’s really hard, but I am trying my best. I wish I would have found this site before messing things up. Good luck everyone …
Malin

March 20, 2014 at 8:55 am

I was doing just the same! I promise you, give it 30 days of NC, and both you and him will be having it much better 🙂 I contacted him after 30 days, and he was answering in just two minutes. Remember, after 30 days NC, you will NOT talk about your relationship. Let the conversation be short, and give it a week for the next time 🙂
Nata

March 21, 2014 at 6:49 pm

Hi everyone. Bad part is that on the 18th day of my NC I texted him 🙁 we talked on the phone a little but he seemed not that willing to keep the conversation so the next day I went into NC again. I think I am. It gonna contact him anymore. If he really wants he will..for the last 2 months I tried to try it again, he stopped wanting it! I do miss him a lot, but I have no other choice at this moment. Good luck everyone ))

Felice

March 11, 2014 at 10:55 pm

hi. so i just broke up with my boyfriend 5 days ago. the reason to why we broke up was because he thought that no matter what he does he will always make me cry. and he’s tired. the next day after the break up i ask him if he wants to be back with me. then he said he can’t. but i kept on begging him and was so desperate and i told him that i couldn’t live without him and i don’t want to be with anyone else but him. then he convinced me that i’m gonna find someone better than him. i cried so bad. then today, i ask his friends if my ex had told them about his feelings to me. then his friend told me that my ex said he doesn’t love me anymore. and i also found out that when we were dating, he used to lie a lot. like, he doesn’t want to chat me so he said the was playing football but in fact, he was lazy. i was hurt. he could have just told me the truth. but after i found all of at, i started to hate him, i want him to regret leaving me but i’ve ruined the NC by contacting him that day after the break up begging him to get back with me. and its hard to do NC because he’s my classmate. what am i supposed to do? please help.. should i ignore him when he talks to me? or how?
Luna

March 11, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Hi Chris. I had posted about a week ago about my ex who broke up with me the night before Valentine’s Day. I’ve been in NC for about two weeks, except two days ago we were both at a mutual friend’s party. It was awkward for me and we didn’t talk directly, we acknowledged each other’s presence and were both in the same conversations a few times.

I am trying very hard to follow NC and focus on improving myself, because my negativity was the source of our problems and why he broke it off. Our friends are telling me to give it time and for him to see that I’ve been improving but how is he supposed to see that I am improving and for him to think I’m ok? We have each other on Facebook still and I made a post about making changes to better myself and reconnect with people and he liked the status so I know he sees my activity on there. Also I can inevitably see us being in the same room if only for having so many mutual friends and events. Is it harmful to the NC if that keeps happening?

Luna

March 13, 2014 at 4:59 pm

Sorry to keep posting so much but a detail I feel is crucial is that next weekend we may be in the same hotel room together with a handful of friends for an event. I can’t really back out of the event nor do I think I should because I don’t want him or my friends thinking I am just going to mope and walk away from the situation with my tail between my legs. But I am concerned whether I should try to stay in another room (to be less awkward) but at the same time I was going to split the cost of the stay. Now that I look at it, it’s only been a week and a half since I texted him, so I haven’t even been in NC long enough. I’m so torn…

Dani

March 11, 2014 at 12:31 pm

Hey so I didn’t find your website until after i already messed up a lot. We basically broke up and I begged and begged for another chance and we got back together for a few days then broke up on bad terms. The first time he would still text me he was nice and he was hurting too. The second time he was so mad that it was on the phone and he is done with me and I haven’t seen him since.

He feels as though he as already has given me an chance even though he really didn’t. I have been in NC for a few weeks without hearing anything from him. Should i still go for it?

Also he has to stay at school all summer so should i wait to initiate contact until then? because I’m pretty sure he will be feeling lonely then.
Cory rodriguez

March 10, 2014 at 9:06 am

Im in a relationship of almost 5 yrs that has been on and off this is a hassle and i need help it seems me and my ex are never going to be good i hate how he always treats me like if im not important to him whenever we are in bad terms can anyone help me out with this relationship i literally lost hope on us
Nata

March 10, 2014 at 2:26 am

Hi Chris, I am ok my 10th day of NC rule. It’s getting harder and harder. Few weeks ago, my bf”s ex girlfriend wrote a status about me on fb(as I sent her a nasty message before that). I asked my Es if he read that,he said no, also he sweared at his mom name that he didn’t approve and didn’t read that status until I told him to. To be honest, it was hard to believe, as they are close friends 😛 until now it hurts me so bad every time I remember that. That’s something I can’t get over with that he could do that to me with her together. I so wanna text him that I am almost sure he knew about it, but let it be there for hours so I could read too, I badly can help doing it 🙁 but it eats me inside … What should I do ?
caty

March 9, 2014 at 5:27 pm

my boyfriend and i have been together for 19 months , he broke up with me yesterday. i have been struggling with anorexia nervosa for about 9 months andi have been in recovery for a month. my ex has been amazingly supportive and understanding through the whole journey. two weeks ago he voiced concerns over the relationship saying that he wasn’t sure where it was going because i had changed , due to the eating disorder. he says he loves me and cares for me and that he is still 100% there for me but isn’t sure he is in love with me an that he doesn’t want to hurt me or keep the relationship going in a false hope. he did admit how ever he does still think he could eaily fall back in love with me. i am totally in love with him and well on the way to being fully recovered , he has already texted me to ask if i am coping but i’m going to follow your NC plan … please help me p.s. when we talked about ending the relationship when he first mentioned it we both ended up in floods of tears and he was holding me close and pleading with me not to end it … this was two days before he ended it , i am sure we are still in love with each other
Tinkerbell

March 8, 2014 at 9:32 pm

Hey!
So,my ex left me too. We were dating for 5 months. And everything was perfect. He was someone i could imagine my life with, we were talking about kids and getting married… Than we had a little fight but we talk it through. And after that fight he told me, that he knows he is going to regret his entire life if something happens and we slit up. So… we solved our problem and were back happy again. But than, just after a week i get a text out of the blue. And it was saying: it’s not going anymore as it should. we better end. i’m sorry but you are too good for me. I know i should tell you this to your face but i can’t. Sorry again for everything.
I was shocked. I called him and he didn’t answer. He did reply to my text when i asked him to meet me and tell me to my face. Yet he didn’t want it.
I’m really confused. I still don’t know what was it, that made him do that. You have any idea?
Well so i try to convince him that day to meet me but when i saw we are not coming anywhere with our texting, i stopped. I haven’t called or texted him since. So, i’m in NC 🙂 For a week and half. And i’m doing pretty fine. I’m going out with friends, all dressed up and i’m sharing it on FB. I hope i’m doing all right? I really want him to regret it, like he told me a week before after he left me… What do you think happend with us and do you think he’s going to change his mind?

admin

March 10, 2014 at 5:24 pm

You are doing fantastic.

Seriously, I am proud of you.

jemimah

March 8, 2014 at 7:59 pm

so yesterday my LDR boyfriend broke up with me over a text using his friend’s phone because he said his phone couldn’t send texts..smh. Anyways, i ignored the text and have been focusing on me.. its been 24 hours since the incidence..However, here is the thing: He called me today. (mind you, he hasn’t called in a month). In fact, he stopped calling for a month prior to this and when I called him instead, he sounded cold, rude, aloof etc and when I got mad at him, he blamed me for the situation and used the opportunity to break up with me..Normally, i would scream and shout and cry but after he broke up with me over a text, i didn’t respond and I didn’t respond to his phone call either. Am I on the right track?? Yay? Nay?

admin

March 10, 2014 at 5:18 pm

Wow… using his friends phone? What a coward.

NC definitely is what I would recommend.

Sally

March 8, 2014 at 5:00 pm

Thank u so much for your articles! I will be purchasing your book. However quick question. If a guy gives u another chance and within a week he seems like hes becoming disinterested again by texting hours later or even no reply. What do I do? No contact again until he contacts me first? Weve not spoken on the phone yet because he doesnt like talking on the phone and we havent met up yet. Its been a week
Thank u again for your articles.
lisa s

March 7, 2014 at 11:01 pm

Question, was my guy being honest when he said he doesnt have time to be in a relationship now, to give it the time it needs or is that just a line to not hurt my feelings? He has a lot of guilt (according to him) for being an absent dad and is being pressured by ex to get more involved. Just need honest opinion if he is even worth it. Thanks! Love your blogs!

admin

March 8, 2014 at 7:08 pm

I am going to call BS on him.

Catherine

March 7, 2014 at 8:11 pm

Hi Chris,
I’m in the no contact for 30 days stage (going on 2+ weeks). It’s hard but I am surprising myself. Issue is: He stops by 1-2 times/week after he texts to let me know he’s on his way but doesn’t wait for my reply 🙂 because I don’t reply. We were together for 7 yrs and the last 4 we lived together. His stuff is still in my house. He was going to move it to storage till he found a bigger place (currently living in a studio he owns). I offered he could leave it for now. It’s like he never left, clothes, toiletries, you name it. I’m also his real estate agent (he buys investment property about 1-2 times/year). He texted me 4 times about property yesterday. I’m do respond as quick as I normally would (sometimes hours). I’m to the point (1 sentence), no fluff, no advice, etc. Any contact we’ve had was because he called, he stopped by, he texted (I don’t answser) or emailed me (sometimes I answer and ensure I stay on subject. What else can I do? I’m definately in no way catering to him like I used to. He was ALWAYS #1 and came before EVERYONE else, no matter where I was or what I was doing. Not now, he broke up with me and I’m on the 30 day no contact. What else can I do? It’s hard in this case to ignore him, I could use the $$ 🙂 But, he is definately not getting the usual special VIP treatment at all on any level from me. Advice? Or should I just keep doint what I am doing?
Catherine

admin

March 8, 2014 at 7:05 pm

Right now just be patient. I think you are doing the right thing.

Demi

March 7, 2014 at 8:07 pm

Hi my boyfriend and I liked each other for a very long time before we even got together he said he wanted to ask me out at the right time and we got together shortly after New Years and then well together for almost 3 months and he dumped me he said that he doesn’t have time for the emotional relationship commitment right now and he’d like to work it out in the future, I texted him 3 days after we broke up talked “regularly” and he brought up our break up he mentioned in there do what ever you need to move On I don’t want you dwelling on this Your an amazing girl and all the stuff you expect to hear we talked for like 30 min and he stopped replying but I haven’t talked to him since and by me doing that he is a very social guy just with anybody he’s natrually sweet and talks to almost anyone new you meet but if I make it seem like I can be happy without him and not text him and use your technique could there be a chance he’ll want me back and there could be an “us” again I’m all for hard I just want to make sure this is the plan I should do

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