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Dee
June 16, 2014 at 10:26 pm
My x-fiance and i broke up about a month ago(we were together 5 years) . He told me he didn’t love me anymore, etc… i moved out, etc… we were having fights almost daily afterwards, i found out he had been talking to someone behind my back, from a fight we had back in oct of 2013. when i talked to him now he said he misses me, and still loves me, and doesn’t know what he wants, but a few days ago he said he didnt love me anymore. i know hes hooking up and etc… I havent’t spoken to him at all for 3 days. What action should i take? should i just let it be and move on? or wait to see if he comes arounde?
Elisa
June 16, 2014 at 8:21 pm
My boyfriend is 49 and I am 50. We have been dating 7 months. He asked to marry me after a month of dating. I am smart, hardworking, I have a great job, home, car, career and he always tells me how beautiful I am. We live in different states, although it is only a 30 minute car ride. We were talking about marriage at the end of the year and we were currently looking for a house to purchase. The problem is he’s lied to me about small things and that makes me think that he may be lying about other things. He is very secretive when it comes to his cell phone. When I cannot reach him on the phone, I tend to blow up and drive to his house. Last night I couldn’t reach him and I was driving to his house when he called me. He said he was trying to reach me and he called as soon as he could. He said he is tired of dealing with my trust issues. I don’t feel like I can ask him questions without him getting angry. I think he is taking me for granted and although neither one of us broke it off, I don’t know where we stand right now. I sent him a good morning text message this morning and he said good morning also. I don’t know what to do to make this better. I started to hold my tongue to keep the peace but last night I jumped the gun. I really don’t want to lose him but I don’t know what to do.
admin
June 17, 2014 at 8:31 pm
Give him time right now. You two aren’t broken up yet so thats something.
Ronnie
June 16, 2014 at 7:26 am
Me and my boyfriend dated for just about a month but it seemed like a lifetime. we were literally inseparable since the night we met. together everyday and night. it was great. he told me it was love at first sight and we pretty much planned our lives together. I’ve never fallen for a guy so fast and I’m usually never in my emotions but something about him had me head over heels in love. I was graduating in about a week and we made so many plans. but then somehow his ex girl from a while back found out about us and started to blow him up with calls and texts. it was happening so much one day his phone stayed lit up, he never answered. and I never said anything because I didn’t want to sound like an annoying nagging insecure girlfriend. later that night he brought it up and insisted he was not interested in her and that’s why she was an ex.. he even called her and told her he has a gf and to not call anymore. I thought it was all good. she started to add me on all social media sites, I never accepted any.. all was well for a while then one day we had plans he wouldn’t come through all day. I gave him hours to contact me because i figured something had to be up because he always comes through. finally at the end of the night I was having car troubles and he still wouldn’t help. my friend ends up calling his ex girl and she said she was at his house. I panicked and lost control and confronted him. he acted clueless and that pretty much was the last time I talk to him. he wouldn’t give me anything. I stopped talking to him but then one day I text him and said I missed him. the ex girl replied. I’ve been heartbroken since and I don’t know what to do. she’s even gotten on his fb and uploaded pictures of the two together. it hurts to see but what hurts the most is I don’t understand how and why this happened. I don’t know what go do now? help?
admin
June 16, 2014 at 2:29 pm
How do you know the girl got on his Facebook? What if he did it?
Shana
June 15, 2014 at 5:48 pm
I have been with my ex boyfriend for 9 years. 7 years out of the 9 his Mom has been in our business. He never once put his foot down and say “Mom this is who I want to be with give my lady respect”
I know that I will never win that battle as she has said to me before “I am first in my son life you will forever be 2nd” How do I suppose to feel when I have been with him for years? Now he has made the choice t go back home to his Mom and speak to me as if his Mom is speaking for him. I truly believe that he has fallen out of love with me and it is very hurtful for me to move on.
admin
June 16, 2014 at 2:07 pm
Have you done NC on him?
Noemie
June 15, 2014 at 6:34 am
Hi there,
My story is heartbreaking – it’s nearly 10 months old this 18 June 2014.
But last 16 May he sent me a text saying he can’t face me to say that his parents talked to him and he had to choose between them and me and as I he has always been under their custody – he will be 27 soon though – they emotionally blackmailed him with stuff like parents efforts and sacrifice to bring him up etc and I was his elder and had two kids was not what the family will be expecting for the only son 🙁 – he mailed to say that if I really loved him to respect his decision and not try to communicate with him
I have been admitted to hospital one day after the sudden breakup and I phoned him one week afterwards and he picked the phone saying even if we will keep professional contacts as we both started a small part time design company, he added that nothing will be same again between us and not to expect him to reply to my mails and texts often – I was silent for a week then I saw him on viber and said hi and we chatted for 10 mins- the only question I never answered was ‘ how are you???’ And I even asked him not to ask this question anymore and he wrote ok – I just don’t know how to manage this situation as it’s one month I haven’t seen him
at all – i was thinking may be he is glad am always the one to say hi to him since the breakup and I just don’t know what to do… My life is a disaster – I can’t concentrate on my work – tried to go out with friends but still can’t make it – should I keep on saying hi and sending nice sentences and pictures for memories to him ??? I mean last time I clicked a picture of a parking where we used to meet and sent to him and he replied with a 🙂 I remember
Plse advise me am going through hell not knowing how to handle this situation- wherever I have gone on Internet , they ask to buy something and I can’t afford to buy anything – don’t even have a credit card
Thanks
Noemie
June 18, 2014 at 5:11 am
sniffff No one replied to my heartbreaking story …today is 10 months we go out together…and i had him on chat yesterday and he still doesnt want to meet up – i have some stuffs of his with me but he is always asking me to drop them with a friend but not ready to meet me…what should i do?
when i had him on chat yesterday i carried a very friendly attitude and he loved it i think but just wondering what i should do next…i dont want this friendly tune only but dont want to make him run away either…as i mentioned earlier in my story…everything was going on well between us except his folks were against the fact that their son was getting involved with an elder woman, ME and who has two little kids…
PLSE PLSE PLSE ADVISE…
thanks
admin
June 18, 2014 at 1:59 pm
Sorry, yesterday was crazy and I couldn’t get to everyone.
How much older are you than him?
lissa
June 13, 2014 at 3:01 pm
Me and my boyfriend was together 5 years and we have two kids together were both 23 years old. We’ve been broke up for 9mths. I’ll go ahead and admit that I was the one that messed up on severl occasions. That was only because i was scaredof being hurt by somebody again. Now since I had my second baby by him im actually ready to settle down, and get it right,but he is not. We broke up when I was five months pregnant,so I really couldn’t cut all ties with him, because of our kids. Around the time we broke up he was treatin me so rude and nasty. To the point that my hole family turned against him, and that’s when I found out he was talking to somebody else,but he deny it,but I kno is true. Its like everytime I find out he is talking to somebody,he just cut all ties with them,ve
admin
June 15, 2014 at 4:05 pm
You are both 23 years old now?
Barbara
June 13, 2014 at 1:35 am
My boyfriend & I started dating last year the 27th August, until this year the 7th of June.(9months & 10days). We were so inlove, he made me so comfortable & I talked to him about everything from my personal problems to the happiest moments. I felt his love. Most people thot our r.ship was a waste of time coz according to them, we are just too different. So we just got stronger each time people thot we’re breaking up. We would sometimes argue about small stuff like he ddnt come when he said he would or I ddnt answer my phone when I knew he said he was coming, but we’d get over it & move on. Some people adored the strong bond we shared. So I broke up with him twice last year during December , the 1st time I just texted “(His name) we done” So he called me & wanted to meet immediately, so met up, I told him that he was being distant & that’s why I broke uo with him, he apologised & we moved on, after a while(Still December) he got distant again, I dumped him on Xmas eve via whatsapp text, he ddnt reply until the nxt day when it was Xmas & I was sending all my whatsapp contacts a Merry Xmas msg, it felt so unatural sending to other people & nothing to him, so I txed him & told him how unatural it feels & how sorry I am about the break up, he then replyed “I love you alot hun & plz stop breaking up with me coz you hurt me) I promised I wouldn’t do it again bt he should also stop being distant. So we got over it & we continued loving each other. Until this year around mid-May, he was distant again, by distant I mean, not calling me much, not texting as he used to, coming to see me until I mension it. So I decided to break up with him, I sent him a whatsapp txt again. He ddnt respond to it & I kept saying to myself (dnt contact him). After a week, he talked to one of my friends & told my friend that I broke up with him & he ddnt even know what to say after reading the text, my friend said that he even said that he’d call me. So i was so Happy that it actually bothered him. So I told my friend to tell him that I miss him, she texted him & said “Barbara cant stop talking about you, she misses you” His reply was “Shame, she’ll be strong” Then my friend said “Yes, but talk to her” He replyed “Ohk, i will but not now” That’s where their convo ended. So I was so ready for him to talk to me, so next day after my friend told him I miss him, I decided to text him on whatsapp(yesterday morning) all I said was “I miss you” He didnt reply it until today. What do I do now? I do love him & i still want him back coz he was my bestfriend. Pleeeease help.
admin
June 15, 2014 at 3:53 pm
You shouldn’t have gotten your friend involved…
Barbara
August 19, 2014 at 2:26 pm
I manged to get him back and we’re celebrating our 1year anniversary this month on the 27th 🙂
Monica
June 6, 2014 at 2:29 pm
Ok so me and my bf of two years(we also have a baby together) have been apart for two months.we we’re fighting a lot cease I believed he was cheating because he made me feel as if there was someone else involved instead of just me. So we broke up and he’s moved to another state with his family. He has told me just to give him space and we will work it out that he wants too. But then the next he he says that I’ve aggravated him and he’s through. Which it is true I have blew his phone up since we’ve been apart trying to get answers and the truth. We’ll I know he seen hanging out and talking to other girls now weather he is tryin to get with them or not idk. I do know he has foole around with someone while we’ve been apart. He tells me he wants it to work then he says he doesn’t he says I’ve aggravated him so much to where he really is starting to not be with me. We have talked last night an everything was fine but then he started makin smart comments on my fb post basically jealousy and so I’ve done the wrong thing an blew him up again this morning because he pissed me off. So now he’s probably going to tell me he’s have me too many chances and that it’s over and he doesn’t want to talk to me. So what can I do to actually make him want me and our family again to miss me and want to work it out?? I realize there’s to much water under the bridge to just get back together I realize it’ll take time to make this work.. What do I need todo to make him change his mind or be more fond of wanting me back or is there any hope at all? Idk what’s going on.
Olivia
June 6, 2014 at 12:33 am
Hello Chris,
I was dating someone for almost 8 months. Our relationship got stronger and stronger over time (something completely new to me) and I don’t think that we could have been happier. We would talk about the future, we were always flirting, had an intimate life worth bragging about, laughing, having deep conversations/debates/discussions with one another, and connecting on so many levels. He would make sacrifices for me such as drive an hour and a half during a thunderstorm to pick me up from work in the middle of the night, because I had left my jacket home (I would of course seriously insist that he would not do such a thing, but he would anyway). One day after having spent one of the best days together I suddenly don’t hear from him, and this was worth worrying about because it was very unlike him. After two days pass I was about to call the hospitals to see if he had gotten home ok, but then i get an email from him saying he wants to meet me after work and that he hasn’t been feeling well. I should mention that we were practically living with one another, would not go longer than a day without seeing each other. I’m sorry for all this history, but I’m trying to make a point that when he sat down to break up with me, I was completely blindsided, and shocked. His reason was that he could not give me the life that I deserved. Apart from our happy times together the only thing he that would ever bother him is the fact that he lost his job early on in our relationship and unfortunately he did not enjoy what he was doing at all. He tried applying for jobs since then but he was unemployed for about 5 months. He said I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life, and I can’t include you in an uncertain future because you deserve better than that. Basically my question is: should i fight for him. I have done everything within my power to not contact him (it’s been about 3 days now), and I will continue to do so if it’s for the best. What do you suggest? Sorry for the long post, and thank you in advance for your advice!!!
admin
June 6, 2014 at 5:36 pm
Lets focus on what ended the relationship.
In your opinion…. what do you think the real reason for the breakup was?
Olivia
June 6, 2014 at 9:45 pm
I find it hard to believe that some of the things he would do for me he was doing just to fool me into thinking he cared about me. I don’t think that someone would go through all that trouble. So considering how well things were going I have no idea what else it could be other than what he told me (which I think is not a good enough reason – i’m willing to be there for him through thick and thin). However I have this nagging feeling in the bottom of my stomach that tells me there’s something else, some other reason he’s not telling me. Considering the fact that we were hardly ever part, (maybe 24-48 hours apart once a month at the most), I don’t think its likely that there was someone else.
Rituparna
June 4, 2014 at 8:22 am
Hi Chris, I am in love with a boy from past 2 years, we had sex several times, but the problem is we are from different religions and in our society that we live in its not possible to get married. so he always told me to be friends as we cant marry each other, and he also said that after marriage we will stop the physical intimacy parts but will remain as best of friends. he is really very caring, loving supporting that i always doubt that he also loves me but did not admit. Now his family have choosen a girl for him to marry, so he said me to maintain distance for few days and he stopped contacting me, i was very upset. suddenly i got an accident and he came to me after hearing the news, cares for me a lot, talked with me, hugged me, kissed me and told me that what he is doing for the sake of my happiness, bcause if we dont maintain a distance now it will hurt me more when he will get married to another girl. he told me to be normal and accept the reality. But the very next day he deleted me from his facebook, and when i asked him about that he told me that he has done it so that i can be lead a normal life very soon. and he requested me not to contact him or text him. i am so surprised, hurt and feeling insulted. but i felt his love at the day of accident. how can he change within one day? look i dont want to force him to be in a love relationship with me as he is going to be married, but I want friend back, we share a very very good relationship, and untill the day his marriage has been fixed we were very happy with each other, was no problem between us.
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:36 pm
When was the last time you saw him?
Bri
June 3, 2014 at 6:24 am
So this guy and I were dating for a couple weeks. And out of nowhere he was to leave (he’s in the military). He says he wants to be friends until I graduate (about a year) because he doesn’t want us to for some reason break up on bad terms long distance wise. He also says he doesn’t want to hurt me by not being there for me. I told him those were excuses and they weren’t good. We had been talking for a few months before we started dating. We really clicked, the connection was amazing. I’m opposed to being friends because I feel as though if he really liked me he would at least try the long distance thing before just breaking up. I believe if someone really wants to be with you they will but he says just because he wants to be friends doesn’t mean he doesn’t like me anymore. I’m confused because basically the only thing that has changed is the bf/gf title. I want him to wish he hadn’t decided to be just friends. Or whatever this is. *sigh* What should I do?
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:24 pm
Well, do you think you can be friends with him? Or will you always want something more?
Alex
May 27, 2014 at 4:19 pm
I have known him for over 10 years, we are both in our 20s and we have been pretty much glued to each other since the day we started going out. I was in a relationship with him for 5 years. At first it was a long distance relationship for about a year and then I moved to the same state he was living in. We never lived together, in part because neither of us wanted to until we finish school and be stable before doing so. I regularly stayed over his apartment, maybe 2-3 times of the week. This past week I wanted to see my BFF who’s having his first baby with his long time girlfriend and my boyfriend thought I was going to see him for other reasons. My boyfriend has always been jealous, but never like this. I got really mad because I felt he was trying to control my social life and we just stopped talking after that. He only sent me a text so I could pick up my things out of his apartment. When I did, I tried talking things out with him, but he was just cold with me. the only thing he said was that he still loved me, but just not in love with me. I don’t know what to do besides staying away. Knowing him and how stubborn he is he won’t contact me even if he wanted to.
admin
May 28, 2014 at 2:44 pm
10 years. So you guys are like high school sweethearts?
Alex
May 29, 2014 at 1:32 am
Something like that. Our families know each other from way back. We met as kids but began to like each other while I was in High school at another state. He’s very depressive and although that may be one reason for the break up I’m still confused because he didn’t give me a reason for it.
admin
May 31, 2014 at 3:31 pm
Usually if an ex contacts you while he is in a relationship it is because you are on his mind. It could also mean that the new girl isn’t measuring up to the standard you set.
dominique
May 27, 2014 at 6:41 am
i have been having long distance relationship with an old school friend we’re both in our 40’s and were really even talking about plans for the future. howwever he recently announced we needed a break we were both stressd with external things – me with divorce which is going through right now i have going through lots of confusion with it also sadness as kids involved i made a mistake and slept with husband several months ago somehow my partner just knew and i had to come clean i completely regretted it and hated myself for hurting him. since then i think he thinks my soon to be ex husband and i are going to get bk together it doesnt help i find it hard to show my feelings towards him he has mentioned he feels no spark from me its a bit hard when im depressed and over tired from beinh single mum i love him deeply just didnt realise how much til he sugested a break .. ive asked him outright if its over but he just keeps saying work through your divorce and well see what happens .. told me he wasnt prepared to be dumped after hed been there for that i needed to sort myself out. the last thing he said to me was i know how i feel about you but i dont know how i feel about us .. ive done the usual undignified begging calls and text hes benn patient and kind butdoesnt want to meet and wants space im absolutely gutted do you think the non contact could help?scared hell think ive hooked with my husband as thats what he thought few weeks ago when my phone died .. is it doing this to protect himself? if so why didnt the begging needy calls work? how can i show him he is my world? i hope and pray i still have a chance. thank you
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:16 pm
Make sure you read the long distance relationship guide first,
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
Victoria
May 26, 2014 at 1:09 pm
My ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago now. We dated for 5 months, and I thought it was a great relationship. About 3-4 weeks before the breakup, he even told me to get a job in his area and that I could live with him. So I did get a job, and was going to move in about a week before the breakup. It came out of nowhere. He bought us concert tickets 2 days before he dumped me, and later said he did that because he wasn’t sure he wanted to breakup at the time. How could he have made such a big decision in 2 days? The reason he gave for the breakup was that he just wasn’t feeling it anymore. He said I was perfect and that I did nothing wrong. It’s killing me. I want him back so badly. What can I do to get him to want me back?
Also, he cried while he was breaking up with me, and was saying that he didn’t want to hurt me. Is that normal? For him to cry?
I went to his house to get my things a little over a week after the breakup. He was nice, but when I talked about just taking a break, he said he was sticking to his guns on this. We haven’t spoken at all since then.
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:36 pm
Has he ever cried before?
Victoria
May 27, 2014 at 7:02 pm
Never in front of me
Victoria
May 27, 2014 at 7:09 pm
Also, one of his best friends is newly single. I think his friend may have encouraged him to be single too.
jane
May 26, 2014 at 2:24 am
Hi. I need some help. My boyfriend for 2 years broke up with me 4 1/2 months ago. He said that he was tired of being in a long distance relationship. That he wanted to be with someone that he can be with physically. In our past relationship i know that he was deeply in love with me. I was so shocked and dont know what to do and beg him to come back to me. We still communicate after our breakup and i can still saw he wanted to talk to me until a month later we can only talk for atleast once a week and a few months later we can rarely talk with each other. And this April-May If i dont initiate to talk with him he will not find his way ti talk to me. And i can feel sometimes that he doesnt want to talk to me or not interested? He become angry when I bring up the past memories or our past relarionship. And sometimes in our past talk we do have some arguments because i cant give up my love for him and talk about our past breakup. After 4 1/2 months of breakup is it still possible to get him back even we cannot see each other? Will NC rule works to make him miss me? I think he doesnt care for me either:(
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:27 pm
Let me ask you this. Was there ever a plan in place to et closer together?
Ally
May 26, 2014 at 1:18 am
My bf amd I have been together for 4 yrs been living together for 3 yrs I Hage been a way fro a few days I am babysitting my grandson for 1 wk so he came home before I left fro work went out of gos way to being me done money said bye love u kissed me amd said yeah on a wk that he txt me all night and all day the next day. But the second day I said do u misse he said he hasn’t had time to think about me he has been busy he has his sons this wkend I said welk I have been busy too but I miss u so them he asked me when I was coming home he knws when I am I asked him do u miss me again he said we need this break and I said what he said he is confused so I txt well when you are done being confused u knw how to gey ahold of me ! It has been 24 hrs and I haven’t heard from him amd I haven’t contacted him at all . I am going crazy because I want to txt him to see what he did today its funny when I have gone away a few wks ago with my parents I said u don’t need to txt me everyday cause I was only going to be away for 3 days but he did txt me amd told me he missed me lived me ect so why cajr he not do that knw ? Not even a good night or to see if i am getting along with my son cause when I did taln to him I told himyarites son was being a jerk amd I wanted to come home .
What should I do we have been fighting a lot be we always make up!!
Please help me Before I drive myself crazy !!!
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:26 pm
Has there been any serious talks about marriage?
Ray
May 21, 2014 at 10:05 pm
i can’t stop texting/e mailing him 🙁
admin
May 22, 2014 at 3:56 pm
Well, you are going to have to stop..
Julia
May 21, 2014 at 8:25 pm
Hello,
I met the most amazing guy, we dates for 2 months and he broke up with e out of the blue. He said it was because he needed to figure himself out and get his life in order. He also stated he needed to love himself. We met up less than a week later so he could get his stuff from storage, he hugged me 2 different times, and the last hug we held hands for a couple of minutes. He told me how wonderful I am and that he was sorry. We made plans to do lunch once a week, but I haven’t heard from him. I don’t believe he wanted to break up, but that someone got in his head. He had a lot of streasful incidents happen in a 1.5 week span. What should I do to get him back? We were an awesome couple. Please help me. Thanks, Julia
admin
May 22, 2014 at 3:56 pm
Were there any breakup signs at all?
Beth
May 21, 2014 at 8:58 am
My ex and I were together for two months, and he was my first real boyfriend. He cared about me I know he did, but we broke up because we had miscommunication and he wasn’t putting as much effort as I was in the relationship. He’s never bought me flowers, and I would be the one to always ask him if he’d want to go out when he’s off work. That’s the other thing, he’s always stressed about work, and not getting enough sleep. I understand that but hey, I got shit to stress about too but I still make time to make sure you know I’m thinking about you. My problem now is that it’s been a week and I really do miss him, we haven’t talked or text or contacted each other in anyway. Would I look bad or desperate if I contacted him first to ask how he’s doing ? Because I don’t think he’ll contact me again.
admin
May 21, 2014 at 4:00 pm
After the NC rule I actually recommend that you do make the first move.
Beth
May 26, 2014 at 10:40 am
The other thing that’s bothering me is that I felt like I was being a bit too clingy in our relationship ? I mean I wasn’t texting or calling him every hour or stalking him on facebook I mean I have a life too, but I was always the one to say hey hows your day going, lets go out for dinner ! That day we broke up, he initiated the break though I knew it was coming. What made me even more mad and worried was that he got a concussion that day and he never told me til then and that made me feel even worse since I felt like I kept bothering him. Basically he broke up with me ? But we both agreed it’s because of not communicating and he couldn’t handle my “nagging” or my effort in trying to make it better.
You still think I should contact him if he doesn’t contact me after the NC rule ?
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:33 pm
I don’t think thats clingy. I think thats what a good gf should do.
Did he always seem to appreciate stuff like that?
Beth
May 28, 2014 at 7:49 am
Appreciate me putting the effort ? I sure hope he did, there was this point where when we were together at his place we’d have normal conversations and then it would seem like he’s annoyed with me and won’t talk at all.
Rachael
May 20, 2014 at 11:25 pm
My ex was the super committed type so he was insecure and that caused issues. After he ended it, we did not speak for a week until we had to swap stuff back. We spoke and he was very emotional so I thought he was hurting from past rows etc so I wrote a letter apologising for mistakes on my part that may have made him think I was not committed and reassured him. We spoke about the letter and he said he had made up his mind and it was the right thing to do. We spoke for 3 hours and he was being responsive but wouldn’t change his mind even though he ‘was tempted’ because he thinks it’s not going to last so it would be prolonging the pain.
Since then I have been in NC- my question is did the letter ruin my chances and does it count as ‘begging’ or desperate behaviour?
Also if he thinks he has done the right thing is it pointless trying your books plan? It’s been 2 weeks since the break up.
admin
May 21, 2014 at 2:32 pm
Did you do a lot of reassuring to make sure that he knew he was #1 to you?
Rachael
May 23, 2014 at 10:19 pm
Yes, I basically said I love you I adore you and regret that I may have made you feel you were not no1- do you think this will have left him with a positive feeling towards me or do I now seem desperate to him? Would really appreciate your thoughts!