7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Rachel

November 1, 2015 at 11:44 pm

Hey Chris,

Thank you for sharing your insights. I would like your help regarding my situation.
My boyfriend broke up with me last Sunday. He met me outside my apartment, and told me that he wasn’t very happy lately in our relationship. He knew I want a serious relationship, he told me that he would not marry me and so we should break up. He also returned my personal items to me, saying that he doesn’t want to be reminded of me, and that we shouldn’t be friends after this.
I was sad but very calm, I asked him to return me another item that was left at his apartment. He said he will come back later with it and leave it outside of my apartment complex. He also said that he will text me when he dropped it off, with the intention of not seeing me while doing this.

I blocked his number right after he dumped me, and did not get his text. Four days later (during which I have not contacted him) I was wondering why he hasn’t dropped it off and I sent him an email. He told me that he dropped it off the night he broke up with me. So I searched the area and miraculously found it. In my last email, I wrote that I blocked his number, did not get his text, but I found it. (I also thank him for hiding it at a sneaky location). At the end of the email, I wrote: ” please don’t email me back. Goodbye forever.”

Some background info: I am his first real-girlfriend, and we have been together 3 months. He loves hanging out with me and having sex with me. But I was very busy with work and did not have time to hang out with his friends, and he was not happy about it. Also, I mentioned that I want to go on vacation with him during Christmas, and he doesn’t want to. Shortly after this vacation discussion, he went to his high school reunion, and broke up with me on the night he came back from the reunion.
As far as I know, both of us were dating each other exclusively and no cheating involved. And I think he is a very respectful and honest person.

So this is where I am at right now. I am still in love with him, but I am not sure if he is. In this case, do you think I should give it a try (as trying to win him back)? My concern is that 1) is he no longer interested in me, and 2) Would contacting him again after I told him “goodbye forever” be perceived as inconsistent/lying?
I have trouble understanding why he wants to break up, and would like you to give me some suggestions.

Thank you very much.
Rachel
Marta

November 1, 2015 at 12:09 pm

Hi, Chris

My ex’s new friend/girlfriend has been calling me and texting me for weeks now. (He already knows but does anything about it. Or if he does.. is not effective). She controls where he is and I’m pretty sure she has his sms synchronized with her devices since she seems to know everything we had been talking about. The first time she called me, threatened me. I told him immediately but he said she wouldn’t do anything. Then she’s been Sending me pictures while on his bed. Yesterday, at work, a coworker told me she stopped by a few days ago asking for me trying to get info about what days do I work there and my schedule.
It’s a week since I decided to practice the NC rule. But she is going too far and I’m considering to report her. I’ve haven’t done it yet bc of my feelings towards him… and bc I’m afraid if I do it he would never come back.
If I do it.. would I have any chance at all of him back?
shreya

November 1, 2015 at 11:14 am

he broke up with me three months back abusing me for no reason. .
we were in touch through message often but he dint like me hanging out with guy friends and he again abused me . now he doesnt even wan to talk to me
what should i do??
Shania

November 1, 2015 at 5:33 am

I honestly came here cause i just wanted to know why my ex boyfriend keeps texting me trying seemingly trying to make me jealous of his new girlfriend i mean i honestly never really loved him and when we broke up he called me a fat ass and an ugly bitch but i never really found him to be handsome and i dont really think his new girl friend is cute either but i just wanted to know why he keeps texting me what i can do to get him to stop with out getting me new boy friend involved cause its getting annoying and i dont like this at all
Blossom

October 31, 2015 at 8:25 pm

Goodevening Chris. umm i quit with my boyfriend bou three days ago. That night, we chatted in my compound, and it was obvious to both of us that i was trying not to let go. i told him to call me that night,which he did. He told me that if i ever want him back in my life,i should let him know. I quit because he is so attracted to another gurl (Joy) and he admits that she helps him when he is broke. Am still a student, they’ve met long before i came into the picture. Well i don’t call him. He calls,,texts, says he misses me. I normally don’t pick….buh i did pick today and purposely didn’t act Like i was crazily missing him. He also sent ma friend to beg, and anytime i visit her at her workplace, (they both work in the same building) she trys pushing us back together. I am so tempted @times. How do i control this urge to tell him i need him back. He is also a family friend. Last i heard, she was in his office four days ago!.
Alice

October 31, 2015 at 4:40 pm

Hi Chris. My long distance bf and I broke up 7 days ago. He said that the distance was just too much for him and he couldn’t handle it; he also said that the feelings he once had for me aren’t there anymore. As many women do, I begged and pleaded him, started becoming too clingy and told him that I miss & still love him. I’m on NC for 4 days now(only knew about this term when I stumbled into your website), because he asked me to give him some space and time so I did. To make sure he’d write me back, I asked him to message me whenever he’s ready to Skype. But the thing is, he’s too stubborn and I’m afraid he won’t text me back. I also noticed that he’s been viewing my Snapchat stories everyday. Do you think the NC rule will work for me and that I have the chance getting my ex back?
Madison

October 30, 2015 at 6:14 pm

November 1st would’ve been two years together. Its been 5 weeks now that he has broken up with me. He has given me many reasons as to why he broke up with me, such as we grew apart, he cant stand my parents, and I was too controlling, etc. Every time we talk it seems like he gives a new reason. The longest we have gone without talking is one week. I plan on keeping it that way unless I’m told I shouldn’t talk to him. We have only spoken face to face once since we broke up. Mostly it’s me who starts the conversation and he told me he doesn’t want to text anymore and if I want to talk to him then to call him. He told me he doesn’t want me to talk to him but then he texts me the next day and says how he is still extremely attracted to me. That was weeks ago though. He lied to me about not loving me and then he admitted to lying about that to see if I would change. He continues to look at me in class. I called him Tuesday night to ask how he was doing. He told me it didn’t matter and told me to never call him just to ask how he’s doing. He got to talking about how I’m an awful person, how he hates me, and how I have done things he cant forgive. He also told me how we are never getting back together and how he is completely over me even though it’s only been five weeks and when he thinks of our relationship it repulses him. I feel like he is lying to himself to make himself feel better. He told me he didn’t care about me but then asked if anything happened between me and my family. When I told him it did he told me he was sorry and he sounded genuinely concerned and upset it happened. So he cares about that. We then talked about how he is going to Las Vegas with his family to see two bands that we are both into. He told me about some of his problems and he even got me laughing. I’ve asked to be friends but he doesnt want people to think that we are dating. He doesnt want any contact from me unless something happens that he should know about. I’m trying desperately to have some sort of relationship with him but also letting him have his space by only talking to him once a week. Should I leave him alone? I have gone through a lot of blogs saying to not do the no contact rule because he will just become a stranger to me.

Madison

October 30, 2015 at 7:18 pm

I forgot to mention all of the things he has said to me so far. One night, maybe three weeks ago, he called me because I wanted closure. We talked for a long time until he eventually got angry over something and left. I called him back because I didn’t want it to end like that. It was late at night and his parents were asleep. I guess his ringer was on. He called me a stupid idiot and a stupid asshole for calling him. I keep having people tell me that that is emotional abuse, but he doesn’t believe it is. Also one night when we were dating I started crying because he wanted to leave and at that point in our relationship he was hanging out with his friends more than me. He wouldn’t give me the time of day. He told me to stop crying like a little bitch and yelled in my face. He always thought I cried to manipulate him. I didn’t. In many of our arguments he would get very angry and say things he shouldn’t have. I can admit to doing the same but not nearly as much as he did. Should I even want to take him back because of what he has called me? He told me he was sorry but I pretty much forced the apology out of him and he then told me I deserved it at the time so what’s the point of even apologizing. Another thing, I would like to call him when he gets back from Las Vegas and ask how the concert went since we are both into those bands. I could see that conversation going well since that would be all we talked about and he would do most of the talking and I could leave after he explained. I don’t know if this is a good idea or if I should apply NC right now. Also, his birthday is coming up. I already got him a present that he begged to have when we were dating and I gave it to him, so there’s no reason to get him something else. I wanted to get him a box of swedish fish and hand it to him at school and tell him happy birthday instead of texting him or calling him especially since he says he doesn’t want me to text him. Is this a bad idea? Should I apply the NC rule even though his birthday is coming up? Or should I wait until after his birthday? Sorry for all of the questions. I don’t have many people to help me through this.

Nhine Lozada

October 30, 2015 at 1:49 pm

Hi,I am extremely hoping for an answer with my situation.We broke up 5 months ago,he’s the one who initiated the break up and after 2 days he got a new girl already.But after a few months we had a little chat and went out on a dinner and talk the way we used to before but after few days we never talked again until he messaged me again on facebook asking where am I so he could give back my clothes that I left when we broke up 5 months ago but I just ignored him.After a week I decided to chat him If he wants us to meet and talk and he agreed.My friend told me to finally face him so we can have our closure for the last time so I am expecting for us to talk nor to fight over our own point of views.But that night,he acts like we are still together,sweet and he keeps on talking and telling me stories like we never hurt each other from.We we’re so happy that night even for a fact that he already has a new girl.As of the moment I am composing this message we are not talking AGAIN anymore.I just want to know if there is a chance that he still loves me.I know that I sound pathetic but I just love him so much despite of all the tears I cried and nights I failed to sleep when he chose to break my heart.Thank you
M

October 29, 2015 at 7:45 pm

Hey Chris,
My bf and I dated for 6 months. We were extremely happy. One day he came over told me he loved me (first time) and then broke up with me. He said he did not know if he was “in love” with me. Confusing, right? I thought so too. We hung out every single day when we were in a relationship. I love him as well so this was hard to be dropped. We have talked on and off and he has even done favors for me while we were not together. Another weird thing is he keeps telling me that this is hard for him too. He has deleted me off of all his social media sites (still friends with my friends though) and I feel like he is acting like I broke up with him. I finally found your site and was extremely happy that to have some pointers, because I would very much love him back in my life. He has explained that he may have commitment issues, but when we were together he was rushing things more then I was, not that I minded. Anyhow, I never responded to his last wishy washy text, which pretty much asked how I was and then said he was avoiding me. It has been 11 days of NC. I am nervous, because I hope he does not move on, forget about me, or never speak to me again ha. I am also nervous that I started the NC too late. for the first 4 weeks of the break up, I was carful not to text him a lot, be respectful, and try to be understanding. I really do miss him and wish with all my heart that he would just walk back into my life. He is my best friend.
lanae

October 29, 2015 at 4:49 pm

My boyfriend and I just recently just broke up.. well… not really.. I honestly don’t really know. He told me that he wanted a “break” because he just needed time to himself. The thing that really tears me apart is the fact that when he told me that he wanted the break, he told me that he really cared about me, he didn’t want to hurt me, he just needed time to himself, and I totally understand that. He told me that he wanted to be friends for the time being… and that he wanted to stay in contact.. but, whenever we text, he will read the message and not reply. I am thinking about not talking to him for a while, but, I’m worried that if I do that, he won’t miss me, and that we won’t have a chance of getting back together. I really need him in my life, and he has told me the same thing. He has helped me with a lot of things, and I hate the fact that right now we’re not together…. i don’t know what to do.
Anna

October 29, 2015 at 11:39 am

Hey,
so my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for almost 4 years now. We both are still studying in college. We have had a lot of fights in the last few months. A couple of days ago, it was our anniversary, we spoke happily and were asking each other weird questions. So i asked him whether he would like it if a million girls would run behind him. He didn’t take this question well, said he had already answered it before and then said he has work to do and cut the call on me (on FaceTime) . I ended up calling him several times to apologize and to calm him down, but he cut all my calls.

He then texted me saying i am in desperate need of a shrink and that I’m horrid, this relationship is a weight on his head and if my questioning continues, this relationship will end soon. Everytime we have a small argument, he mentions breaking up. Im sick and tired of him mentioning it over and over again. So I BROKE UP WITH HIM – to which he said “so we are single now:)” , “no more relationship rules”. This statement angered me and i felt as if he was living in a cage the entire time, bound by a set of ‘relationship rules’. I got so angry that i said he wouldn’t see or hear from me again, to which his response was ‘i don’t care’. It’s been 3 days, i haven’t contacted him. I think he over reacted for something so petty and he made a fight out of something so stupid. Im very hurt.

ANY ADVICE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO?
Serenity

October 28, 2015 at 8:20 pm

Hi Chris, please help me, I’m really struggling to move on from this guy!! We dated for a month about 2 years ago and then again a month earlier this year. I felt like we had a really strong connection and I know he really liked me too. Then he dumped me by text message and we’ve been no contact for over 6 months, although about 3 months ago he contacted me to ask for something of his I had.

Other than that he visited my online dating profiles on a couple of sites but then I blocked him on them. Thing is I really miss him and can’t move on which surprises me because I’m usually a very practical person. I haven’t been able to find a similar connection with anyone else in the last 2 years despie dating around. I have basically blocked him totally out of my life hoping to move on but I can’t! I compare everyone to him and can’t get him out of my mind.

Should I contact him at all or just give myself more time to move on? From your point of view as a guy, he would have tried harder if he wanted to right?

Thanks in advance!
Simone

October 28, 2015 at 8:17 pm

i pushed my boyfriend over the edge by calling and texting a million times a day to the point where he told me not to talk to him again and that he’s done with me for good this time he is also snap chatting his ex girlfriend the one before me they broke up cuz she cheated on him and we broke up cuz I was to clingy how do I get him back from this girl ? Please help me
tanja

October 28, 2015 at 7:17 pm

my husband told me he doesnt love me like he used to and then told me he fell in love for someone else 6 weeks ago. i think that totaly nonsense cause she is replacable. we had some problems and he felt disrespected and found someone who respected him all of the sudden. he needed to leave for bussiness for three weeks and wants no contact to get clear – do i actually have any kind of chance??? or is it a silent good-bye? seems so lame after 3 years relationship and 1,5 years of marriage – first problem and run off??? really???
what can i do?

tanja

October 29, 2015 at 3:49 pm

help please 🙁

Christina

October 28, 2015 at 6:17 pm

Hey

So my boyfriend and I were together 15 months and we breakup 3 weeks ago. Actually we didn´t had problems and everything was okay, but last month i asked do you see us in the future. Then he took time to think and he said not now. He want to be free and meet new people in the street. It is like he life experience..
He said, he want to learn to focus on the other persons. He said: then in the future he is better father, better husband and colleague. He started to do that 2 years ago but then he met me and stop it.
And he want to be friend and meet sometimes. [like opened relationship]
I dont underestand is it smokescreen or not. And what to do? Uhh I am confused.
shay

October 28, 2015 at 4:06 pm

Hi Chris,
I have been dating a guy for 4 years, basically my high school sweetheart. I will do anything for this man. We went to the same college together and everything. For the first 2 years we were off and on. The last two years were great. We had minor arguments but nothing we couldn’t work through. Our relationship wasn’t one that looked good on the outside but not inside. We were good in and out. We got distant for 2 days and when I mentioned it to him he said our career paths were going different ways. It made me mad because he knew wherever he went I was going and he said he wasn’t going anywhere without me. We made so many plans together and started saving together. Whether than asking why he felt that way I said let’s separate. I instantly took it back because I didn’t mean it and he mean so much. He refused and said I made my decision. He said I broke the agreement. 2 years ago when we got back together he said if we broke up again that was it. He told me to bring all his things and when I took them I tried to talk to him but he just was not hearing it. I figured I will let him cool down because obviously he was mad. I texted him a week later but no respond. I have not made any contact with him in 3 weeks and he haven’t spoke to me since the break up. He won’t even give me closure. I deleted him on facebook because he kept disrespecting me with things like when your ex want to get back together and your just like nawl. That was funny to me because I haven’t had contact with him. I feel like if our relationship is going to end let it be something big rather than petty. At this point I feel like he never cared and all I really want is him back. A break up is just like a death and it really hurts.
Ashley R. Sund

October 27, 2015 at 10:55 pm

Hi Chris,
I had started dating a guy I knew from my hometown 200 miles away. We connected well and spent every night on the phone, a little texting throughout the day as well. We spent a few weekends in a row together but things started getting busy with work for him, I knew the beginning of Oct was hectic but only for the first 10-15 days. Since then, he hasn’t tried spending time with me, his texts have gotten fewer, and phone calls have been shorter (but still every night and sometimes off and on throughout the day). 3 days ago I mentioned to him that it makes him seem like he doesn’t care when he doesn’t reach out as much, to which he completely ended things. He then called and I gave him an earful on the phone (no name calling, just saying that if he cared he would’ve made time for me etc.). I haven’t spoken to him since but I am anxious and a little sick to my stomach. Just am at a loss. Do you think there is any hope? Do guys feel that empty space at night time when we would be on the phone as well?
Charlotte

October 27, 2015 at 10:41 pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up a week ago, after 4 years together. He is going through some tough stuff at the moment, so whilst it hurts me that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, I understand. But he has texted me starting conversations the past few days, talking about our favourite show, The Walking Dead, asking if I enjoyed it, telling me he watched a show I recommended to him before we broke up and how much he has enjoyed it. Apart from today, when he told me he has a serious appointment and that he feels scared about going, it’s just been general chit-chat. But I haven’t initiated any of it. He has started every conversation. After the first day of our break up, there was no contact on either side, by the third day of our break up, he started a conversation via text (maybe wondering why I am not begging him back?) and has continued to almost every day – but the last 2 days, hes tried to keep the conversation going rather than give up after I don’t reply or give a short answer.
I’m happy with my life outside our break up, I have a new job and great, supportive friends, but he feels like the missing piece to my life. I”m trying to keep conversations with him to a minimum, I don’t want to look eager, like I’m waiting for his texts (even though I am). Every impression he is getting from me now is that I am not deeply affected by this, and that I’m happy and trying to keep going with life. Is this maybe why he’s texting me? Towards the end we had our ups and downs, I think I was quite grumpy (never with him, I was upset because I needed a new job) but I thought our relationship was strong because we didn’t argue and he always pushed me into doing things I was scared of doing and never ever once lost confidence in me and I never lost confidence in him, we always tried hard to raise the other one up and make each other exceed what we thought was possible, he was my rock and I think I leaned on him too much when he was also going through a very personal traumatic experience, do you think he is perhaps forgetting the few bad times, my irritable mood and maybe remembering I actually can be a happy person and someone he can talk to?
We said we would be friends still, I just want to know whether this sounds as if he misses me, or whether he’s attempting to just be friends. I miss him very much, it’s only been just over a week, but it hurts not to be around him, to have our routine Sunday snuggle and Supernatural marathon in bed and have him calling me Honeypot and running me a bath. I don’t want to come off too needy when I talk to him by telling him how much I miss him, I just want to know whether he misses me too.
Sorry if this sounds like I’m rambling on a bit, it’s late at night here and I’ve had a long day.
Sammy

October 27, 2015 at 4:19 pm

Hi Chris,

I was in a long distance relationship that recently ended. We were dating for 2 years and then he got the job offer of a lifetime overseas. He wanted to try out long distance so I agreed. Once he left our emotions were at an all time high and we both started to feel more depressed from being apart. He snapped and ended things…I was emotional and kept reaching out and eventually I stopped at which he came back and wanted to take things slow again since the situation is so fragile. So for a year we did this :in-between” thing because we weren’t sure when he was gonna come back home. It was rough but we visited as often as we could. I just saw him earlier this month over there and overall it well great and we were very in love, it got a bit rocky at the end and it seemed like things got too real for him once it came time for me to leave. I was putting pressure on his to make a decision and he didn’t want to until we knew if I could get a job out there and he snapped and ended it again and said it was for the best. This is what happened when we first ended things…emotions and vulnerability were at an all time high. he admitted that I make him feel vulnerable and in this situation he doesn’t handle it well and tends to put a wall up. It seems like that’s what happened this time. Its been 9 days since this happened. I currently have a possible opportunity to relocate there within the next couple months. The money is great so I decided to take the job regardless. In my gut I feel it isn’t over because outside of the distance issues we were really happy. He has always ended up fighting for me when things got rocky while apart but I am just not sure if this was the final straw for him since this past year apart has been extremely challenging. Do you think I have a chance of him wanting to repair things again?
LUCY

October 27, 2015 at 6:16 am

Hi!
So, while my boyfriend and I were fighting I decided to break up with him because he wasnt’ giving me enough attention and I also eluded to the fact that I was not helping his situation at school( he was not doing well). He admitted yea your probably right and just said okay. Cut off communication for 4 days. I apologized and said so many things. We’ve been friends for about 8 months and have been together 3 months not including those 8 months. Response back to me in an email and says I dont want you out of my life but for the next 6 weeks I need to concentrate on school( law school, I understand the pressure) Then proceeded to say maybe in 6 weeks we can talk(when finals are over) Is he really hurt ? I mean to say I don’t want you out of my life but for 6 weeks its okay, then maybe talk? Do you think he’ll reach out and talk to me before then? Was his excuse a cop out?