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369 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant”

  1. Avatar

    Hine

    March 29, 2015 at 7:45 am

    So I was with my bf for 4 years when I found out I was pregnant and he freaked told me his life was over and he wanted me to get an abortion but I said no and he came around so I thought but fastforward I’m 6 months pregnant and he’s walked out on me, moved out, and hasn’t helped me prepare for my little girl at all. He told me he doesn’t love me, then texts me he’s coming over to spend time together cause he feels bad then doesn’t show up and now I havnt heard from him in 4 days. I don’t understand do you think he’s scared or he really just doesn’t want to be with me, I also know he’s already talking to someone else and that breaks my heart, is it worth trying to get him back or do you think he won’t come back? Ps. He’s never done anything like this before always been affectionate & loving? And I should clear that up I actually asked him to leave because he wouldn’t commit to me but was playing games and talking to someone else and it was hurting to much us living together but not being together he didnt want to move out

    1. admin

      admin

      March 29, 2015 at 2:04 pm

      There could be a lot going on.

      Being a dad scared a guy at first so maybe he is just running from those fears instead of confronting them.

    2. Avatar

      Hine

      April 3, 2015 at 5:05 am

      Oh and what if actually comes to my house during no contact what should I do thanks

    3. Avatar

      Hine

      April 2, 2015 at 7:08 am

      Do you think going complete no contact would be better or is limited better ? As I’ve made a egg of myself begging? Thanks

  2. Avatar

    maria

    March 26, 2015 at 10:47 pm

    Hi there, thanks for this article it makes my mind at peace even for a short time.because i am always thinking too much. I am 32weeks and 3 days. I dont know whats happening to us, if we are already finish or what. Last february he came here in the philippines for vacation and to check my pregnancy, i feel that he love me so much because when i started to fight he always et quiet and kiss me and hug me, i even try to go but he stop me (ofcors i dont really mean.it i just wanted.to.see his reaction). I am moody and always get jelous about his past because accidentaly his friend talk about it. So anyhow before he go we had great fight but we became okey but still my mind not stop thinking,.then he startes to refuse.me.and delete me.on facebook because he said he dont want my attitude like that, so by the help of my mother we become okey and he said he is just mad also thats why. So we.become okey. Then now we are not okey again because he said why i ask about his x gf again and i said i just ask then i really know what bothers him, he is thinking of my attitude when he is here., that why i fight him why like this like that, and i told him that i though he understand it, just like he is blaming me, but you know i didnt force him to do that to me, i didnt force him to please me.so why now he is blaming me, and now i am saying sorry for all.those things i did and he said. Enough and then he ignores my message, i am.crying and so emotional, then he ignores me and he add another lady on facebook. And.its makes me think too much. By the way if you think i am rude he is more rude because when i am.just 2 months pregnant he always want me to go away and he said he wana leave me , i am.the one always pleasing him before and when i get full i explode and.told him to finish everything.and.abort the baby,.that time he said sorry and he please me.too much and.ask help for my mother and brother, he said he is just joking.big time to.test me. So u see, if i make him.please me.too much why he didnt think.of what i did for him before. Why because he thinks i needed him more this.time. uh im so down…

    1. Avatar

      Sue for you

      August 12, 2015 at 2:32 pm

      Just have the baby on your own my dear. Fucking who cares about this God damn loser. He put you through hell. He should NOT have done that! Good on you that you are doing what is needed to get your sanity and life back. You will be in my prayers..

    2. admin

      admin

      March 29, 2015 at 3:13 pm

      Congrats (my wife is pregnant!)

      18 weeks!

      Anyways, have you been utilizing NC?

    3. Avatar

      maria

      March 31, 2015 at 5:54 am

      Wow your wife is pregnant too sir … very nice … congrats

    4. admin

      admin

      March 31, 2015 at 10:38 pm

      She is!

      We saw the ultrasound today it was wild. That little baby is moving around a lot.

    5. Avatar

      maria

      April 2, 2015 at 6:15 am

      How lucky is she…
      But me i think he ignores me already because my mom sai he message he read but no reply….. i dont know i really dont know.
      Of its about my attitude when he is here its very unreasonable…

    6. admin

      admin

      April 2, 2015 at 11:56 pm

      I think he is scared…

      That’s my honest opinion (and that’s coming from someone who is about to be a dad)

    7. Avatar

      maria

      April 4, 2015 at 7:54 am

      I dont know.. if he is scared because he is already 54 an i am 25 i think he is old enough…. if someone said bad things bout me or maybe thinking of my attitude when he is here its really unreasonable πŸ™

    8. Avatar

      maria

      March 26, 2015 at 11:09 pm

      I really need your reply sir πŸ™
      Also if i apply nc…. i am.afraid he will forget me and the baby. But really i cant also stop thinking how it will be easy for him to.change me or his mind like that because he said he dont want me.and the.baby then he said he is just mad and i know his feeling but now i am.afraid i dont know what to think

    9. admin

      admin

      March 29, 2015 at 3:08 pm

      No, he definitely wont forget about the baby and you especially if you use LC.

    10. Avatar

      maria

      March 31, 2015 at 5:53 am

      What u mean about LC sir? Until now he is noy messaging and i am.not messaging him too but my mom.ask about his plan today and no reply still waiting because i am 34 weeks now

  3. Avatar

    lc

    March 26, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    So upset.. Been together on & off 5 years, most recently together for a solid year.

    Found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks (on Valentines day)..

    Told him that following Monday, things seemed to be alright.. A few weeks ago, everything changed- he started staying out later, hiding his phone, etc.

    Then he told me im being selfish, hes not ready for a baby and if that i didnt get an abortion, he would go back to his ex and if I did, he would fix things with me and move in together. πŸ™

    Basically, without me saying, he knew I wasn’t going to get an abortion, so he left and now his “girlfriend” is basically harassing me, sending me pics of them together and she egged my house last night because he loves her and he chose her. I said he doesn’t love you, he just left me and wont be with me because I won’t have an abortion, period..

    BTW, I’m 28, he’s 27 and she’s 24.

    I just dont know what to do. πŸ™

    I’m sad, but more disappointed and angry I guess..

    1. admin

      admin

      March 31, 2015 at 9:54 pm

      That is horrible but sadly not the first time I have heard the abortion thing from a guy.

      I would go NC.

  4. Avatar

    eve

    March 25, 2015 at 5:57 am

    I have one different issue that makes it hard to invite him to check ups. I moved to goergia n he’s in new york. So what can I do in that circumstance? ?? Please respond.

    1. admin

      admin

      March 31, 2015 at 7:11 pm

      Hi Eve,

      I guess in that case you can extend the invite to him and leave it up to him to come out to see you.

  5. Avatar

    nic

    March 22, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    Hi Chris, my story is a little different. My boyfriend left me purely because I am pregnant.. he told me I had to choose between him and the baby and because I couldn’t go through with an abortion he left 3 months ago and wants nothing at all to do with me. I don’t think the no contact rule will work in this instance as he doesn’t want me to contact him, as far as he is concerned me choosing to have this baby has ruined his life.

    1. Avatar

      Sue for you

      August 12, 2015 at 2:36 pm

      You are probably young, and he is also young and I might add, very stupid. Very selfish too, not thinking of you and both of your’s baby.

    2. admin

      admin

      March 22, 2015 at 5:54 pm

      How dare he give you an ultimatum like that.

      He sounds very scummy.

      He is the one that got you pregnant. He is the one that did that and he needs to take responsibility.

    3. Avatar

      nic

      March 23, 2015 at 2:26 pm

      He said he’s not ready to have children for another 5 years and thinks it’s as easy as just having an abortion and moving on. He tells me he wants to be with me just not if there’s a child involved. I honestly don’t know how to make him change his mind

    4. admin

      admin

      March 24, 2015 at 8:55 pm

      This is a hot button topic.

      Abortion always is…

      In my opinion he is blackmailing you. That’s all I will say on the subject.

  6. Avatar

    LA

    March 19, 2015 at 5:17 am

    I am 6 weeks today. I have only known the father for a little over a month and we broke up about 2 weeks ago. It was not the best relationship in that he was jobless and lives with his mother and lacks ambition and drive, over which I nagged and didnt say the nicest things about and ultimately led to us breaking up. I let him know of the pregnancy the day I knew and he seemed ecstatic. He talked about trying to work things out with us. Every time we spoke after that his first topic of conversation was always about how he was tired from just starting a new job and how much in pain he was… Not once asking me how I was, which enraged me. Now I am not able to get a hold of him at all and have been calling and sending emails to no avail. I have thought about my options with this pregnancy since this is not how I want the father of my child to be, which is also something I expressed to him. However, I am 30 and have always wanted a child. I have a pretty great family and support system but am worried he is going to skate thru the pregnancy not trying to reconcile or be supportive and then attempt to fight me in court after the baby is born. After reading your site I am going to cease my attempts to contact him. I do have a few questions tho…
    My first doc appt is in 3 weeks… What should I tell him about the appt? What should I tell him if he asks to be apart of the next appt? What should I do if he contacts me before this first appt? What steps should I take if I would like to attempt working something out between us but he is super stubborn and selfish? He is 36 yrs old btw.
    I appreciate your reply and thanks for this site!

    1. Avatar

      Leah farkas

      April 8, 2015 at 2:01 am

      Hi Sir . My boyfriend and me broke up last 4 weeks and Just found out I’m p. We have 8 moths together and we have fights for diferents situations about why I’m talking to guys and friends I dont know must of my contacts of facebook but whatever I decide to cancel my account but he didn’t care about. I having 4 weeks and 2 days and before he left me he was to rude with me and even he saye if he found out I’m p. He will punch me at the street he is very hipperactive and he tends to brake stuff when he is mad .he slap me a few times. We broke because he is more young than me for 8 years and he says he loves me but he can’t make me wait for him because he feel not ready to married now and he will in 3 years . In the beginning I say no but after I decide to wait because I really love him I’m afraid to tell him I’m expecting because probably he will punch me.i didn’t talk to him since he left. I will not unswer him ,he is in vacation now I’m afraid he will comeback to me and punch me now I know my baby is first than him

    2. admin

      admin

      March 21, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      I don’t think the pregnancy has hit him just yet but I think it will down the road.

    3. Avatar

      LA

      March 22, 2015 at 1:04 am

      What do you suggest as my plan of action?

  7. Avatar

    Mikaela

    March 18, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    I know I probably won’t get an answer, but it would mean a lot to me if you did πŸ™‚

    So I am 25 weeks pregnant with a guy I used to date for a short while (a month). It was very intense and we developed some kind of feelings during this time. Then I found out I was pregnant and he freaked out completely. He told me to choose between him and the baby and I chose the baby despite him promising all kinds of stuff. He begged me to do an abortion until I was around 12 weeks pregnant (sometimes we discussed things like names and who would be godparents, but he always shifted back to wanting an abortion), then I finally had enough so I blocked and ignored him. This lasted for about 3 weeks until one day when I saw him at the store. I didn’t want to talk to him, not even say hi, so I hid and then drove home from there as fast as I could. A few minutes later he showed up knocking my door wanting to talk to me. So we talked and sorted things out. We started hanging out every day and everytime we saw each other it was perfect, but we fought a lot when we texted each other. It almost seemed like he had realized his feelings for me again, because we acted like a couple. He did say a few times though that we would never be a couple which made me insecure and that was what most of our fights were about. Me, reacting to him hanging out with other girls (in a non appropriate way I might add since we had an agreement to not see other people in a romatic way until the baby was born, this was his idea). So about a few days ago we had our last fight were he yelled at me that he wanted me to stay away from him, that I was a burden and that he didn’t want anything to do with me because everything involving me was awful and he hates me. I hung up while he was yelling these things and since then we haven’t talked at all.

    So now I am trying the NC rule. I don’t even know if it applies in this situation since he asked me to stay away, but I feel uncomfortable at the bare thought of contacting him, even with things about the baby. I have a check up coming up next week which will be on the day where I have been quiet for 2 weeks. Should I contact him then or should I wait until my next check up that is around a month from now? He still looks at my snapchat stories, so I thought I might just put something up there (a video of when you hear the heartbeats) so he at least know that I went there and that everything is okay or will I break the rule then?

    1. admin

      admin

      March 21, 2015 at 3:03 pm

      You dont have to invite him to the check up if you don’t want to.

      Thats a decision completely up to you.

  8. Avatar

    Jane

    March 10, 2015 at 9:54 am

    Hi Chris,

    Firstly your web site is great and full of valuable information an I think your one hell of a person to dedicate so much to helping people. Here goes my mess I could do with your opinion on….

    I’m 26 and my ex is 32 we suffered two misscarriages in a short space of time one in December and then I found out I was pregnant again in February. I told my partner and he totally freaked out didn’t speak to me for two days and when he did he just said he was sorry but he couldn’t go through it all again. I should mention we both have a child from previous relationships. I did not text him or contact him when he was ignoring me and when he did make contact with me I only responded when he asked for his things and/or to give him information on the baby which this time seems to be fine. He started saying he regretted his actions he was so sorry etc and that he wanted to meet up to talk over everything which I agreed to. The problem is since I agreed, although I was busy the date he suggested, I suggested another day, he has completely ignored me. I had a scan yesterday and I text just to let him know and still nothing even though he asked me to keep in contact over the baby as ‘he cares and can’t switch his feelings off’ I’m really confused and unsure how to proceed
    . Any advice would be great. Thank you!!

    1. Avatar

      Sue Anon

      August 12, 2015 at 2:45 pm

      I feel sorry for you. His freaking kid is inside you!! Mind you, that’s also your kid very much, but still!!

    2. admin

      admin

      March 13, 2015 at 6:33 pm

      I am sorry to hear about the miscarriages…

      That is really tough.

      I think you are doing the right thing with limited contact and only talking about the baby at this point.

  9. Avatar

    Candice Combs

    March 9, 2015 at 5:38 am

    Hi. I just finished reading your post and I was wondering what should I do since my situation is a little different . I am 24 weeks pregnant , my child’s father didn’t exactly leave me . I kicked him out because I didn’t feel like I was getting enough support from him as far as helping me around the house and spending quality time with me . I never made it a big deal for him to attend my prenatal visits especially since he works during the day . But I thought it was extremely important that he attend the ultrasound visit , which he didn’t and he didn’t have work as an excuse. I was crushed . So with this incident on top of feeling neglected because he didn’t spend much time with me . I told him to leave because I didn’t feel like he really wanted to be involved . I have established the modified NC rule but haven’t had to use the modifications because I haven’t had any new appointments yet . This is not the first time I have kicked him out while pregnant but this is the first time that NC has lasted this long between us . He usually makes contact by now and is the first to make contact between us . Granted it has only been 3 days but I was wondering should I continue with the NC rule in this situation or stop being proud and apologize and try to work things out ? I was thinking that I should keep things cordial between us and take things slowly until he starts giving me the attention I need . I just wanted to know should I contact him first since I’m the one who broke things off or should I continue the NC rule and follow the rest of your advice ?

    1. admin

      admin

      March 13, 2015 at 3:56 pm

      I imagine he is frightened about being a dad.

      You are going to have to do limited contact due to the fact that you are going to have to communicate about the baby from time to time.

  10. Avatar

    Rian

    March 4, 2015 at 5:14 pm

    I’m pregnant with my ex’s baby. We broke up because he got very jealous of my guy friend. We’d broken up before I found out I was pregnant. Then I begged him to come back, never worked. I tried the NC, he contacted me after like a week saying he was very depressed about what happened to us when we used to be a happy couple. I couldn’t help it so I replied, then he said he was never coming back not because he’s mad, but because he was really hurt. He said I should just find a new dad for the kid. Then I continued the NC, called him after about 21 days. We were talking like the old times. It was actually sweet. Then I said something that I sure think he took as something like this, “I’m going to find a new dad for our kid” but I’m pretty sure I didnt mean it that way. I said it like I’ve accepted we were never going back together. Then he asked if I was already looking for a new guy. Of course I said no, but I asked him what would happen if I date someone in th future, how would it work for us with our kid. After that convo, he asked me when he’s going to see me again. Like he really wanted to. I thought we were already in the acceptance phase but days after that phone conversation he got mad again about something not baby related but our old relationship related. He said that I should never talk to him again since I was going to find someone to replace him as our kid’s dad someday. I swear he kept on emphasizing the new dad line. I couldn’t take his yes-no attitude anymore so I never talked to him again.
    Any thoughts?

    1. admin

      admin

      March 7, 2015 at 5:19 pm

      He is probably angry at things tand that is why he said that.

    2. Avatar

      Rian

      March 7, 2015 at 5:27 pm

      Should I just continue the NC?

    3. admin

      admin

      March 8, 2015 at 2:41 pm

      You should.

  11. Avatar

    Anna

    February 18, 2015 at 2:55 am

    Hi,
    I liked your blog. It takes a position that I’ve yet to see anywhere else. I was wondering what your thoughts would be in my situation. I really liked this friend I met at my internship last summer. We had a couple of dates, and when I went back home things just sort of dissolved. I’m someone who lives by the nc rule pretty much all the time. I only like to express myself if someone expresses interest so I was pretty sure the relationship wouldn’t continue after I went back home. I live about 400 miles away. I went back to visit friends recently, it had been 6 months since I’d last seen him. I let him know if be in town and I’d like to see him, we went out, got too drunk, and made some poor decisions. But I have a really incredible connection with him, I expressed those feelings before I left, despite my natural inclination not to. He was nice about it, but I felt it was clear that he didn’t want to try to have a long distance relationship. I was totally comfortable with that reality until I realized I was pregnant. We haven’t spoken since I left. How can I best go about sharing this information with him, in a way that’s conducive to leaving the door open for a relationship? He’s a really nice, sensible guy, but I don’t know how he’s going to react to this life changing news, and I’m concerned about affecting his studies, he’s currently a second year med student. This is like my worst nightmare, but at the same time I feel like it’s some sort of twist of fate and that despite the poor timing I’m ready and grounded enough to help raise a beautiful human being. But I would really like his support, I think he’d be a great father to this child. Thanks for listening!

    Anna

    1. admin

      admin

      February 18, 2015 at 9:50 pm

      I am glad you like it!

      I work hard on it.

      So, would I be right in assuming the two of you are long distance right now?

    2. Avatar

      Anna

      February 18, 2015 at 11:28 pm

      Yes, I’m currently back home.

    3. admin

      admin

      February 20, 2015 at 6:14 pm

      Ok, have you read any of my long distance stuff as refrence points?

    4. Avatar

      Anna

      February 20, 2015 at 7:27 pm

      Yes, but I feel like it would be crazy for me to say hey, this happened, idk if you want this, you probably don’t, but I can move to Georgia to make it easier for you. I want to just say how I feel. But I’m really convinced I’m going to scare him off. I also read your one night stand stuff as a reference, but he’s not a player either so I’m pretty sure those tactics won’t work.

    5. Avatar

      Anna

      February 18, 2015 at 3:33 am

      Also I’d just like to mention that I have been putting a lot of thought into what I’ll need to do under these circumstances for him to easily be involved. I’m not sure since I have my own intensive studies as well. Relocating is not out of the question for me, but he’s attending one of the best schools in the country and I’d never want him to put that on pause. However I do want to do what best for my growing sea monkey, and I think a father is really important to healthy psychological development. But I think it would probably be weird if I expressed that considering everything else. I’m just so overwhelmed, I’ve always been so safe, I thought I’d be finished with school and in a healthy committed relationship.

  12. Avatar

    A

    February 17, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    Hi chris, I know you’re very busy with all these girls wanting your advices, but I really hope you take time to read my email. I used the same email on this comment.

    My ex and I slept together two weeks after the break up. I got pregnant and on my 10th week now. I don’t know what to do. If you can, please read my email, the complete story is on there.

    Thank you for everything. I’ve read most of your articles and I love that they’re complete with details.

    1. Avatar

      A

      April 9, 2015 at 3:09 pm

      I WAS REALLY SHOCKED ABOUT THE NEW WEBSITE LOOK. CHEERS TO THAT!

      Anyway, I sent you a new email and it’s the shortest version of my story possible and I know i’ve been very annoying bugging you but I hope you take time to read it. I’m on my 40th day NC now and I haven’t thought of a next step for my situation even after I’ve read all the guides here on your lovely site. I’m 17 weeks pregnant now and it’s been very sad going to the check ups alone. I hope you can help me with my problem.

      Kudos again for the website!

    2. admin

      admin

      February 18, 2015 at 9:26 pm

      Can you resend it for me?

      I just cleaned my email out and I think this got canned πŸ™

    3. Avatar

      A

      February 19, 2015 at 7:21 am

      I just sent it. Hoping to hear from you soon. Thanks chris!

    4. admin

      admin

      February 20, 2015 at 11:16 pm

      I will try to respond as soon as possible.

      Although if you want a quicker response you should definitely record a message on the voicemail for me and I will answer you on the podcast.

    5. Avatar

      A

      February 20, 2015 at 11:35 pm

      I want to keep this on private so it’s okay for me if you take long. Take your time. Just please don’t ignore my email. πŸ™ My apologies for the loooong message.

    6. Avatar

      A

      March 4, 2015 at 4:54 pm

      Chris, have you read my email yet? πŸ™

    7. admin

      admin

      March 7, 2015 at 5:13 pm

      Where id you send it?

    8. Avatar

      A

      March 7, 2015 at 5:24 pm

      Via gmail. I sent it to that @exboyfriendrecovery email

    9. admin

      admin

      March 8, 2015 at 2:35 pm

      Hi there,

      I actually had to switch emails.

      [email protected]

      Is the new support email.

    10. Avatar

      A

      April 2, 2015 at 3:55 pm

      I sent it to that cfwebvoyager email. Should i resend it?

    11. Avatar

      A

      March 26, 2015 at 3:28 pm

      Hi chris! Did you receive that email? I just want to make sure you did.

      I’ve been reading a lot on your site too and I hope some of those tips will work but I wish you could read my email so I’d know which of your published tips should be followed and not. Again, thank you so much!

    12. admin

      admin

      March 31, 2015 at 8:43 pm

      Which email did you send it to?

    13. Avatar

      A

      March 20, 2015 at 11:39 am

      Hi Chris, I just sent you an email. I unfortunately got confused and sent it with my other email. Please keep my story private. Thank you and I hope to hear from you soon.

    14. admin

      admin

      March 22, 2015 at 4:16 pm

      Don’t worry, your story is private.

  13. Avatar

    Layla

    February 11, 2015 at 3:38 pm

    Love your website!

    Long story short (oh please do not judge me):

    I got pregnant from a married colleague. Have no doubt he really loves me and wants to be with me.
    He told his wife about us and she went crazy. They have 2 little kids so he is afraid for them and feels bad for her since she is threatening to kill herself and other things.
    My fear is that he would not dare to leave her since he feels a danger for his kids. And says that is afraid to disappoint me.

    So the question is: should I do NC even though he assures me his feelings did not change, that he thinks about me all the time and wants to be with me? I want to be sure.

    P.S. Yes, I’m probably a bad person but I am ok with it.

    1. admin

      admin

      February 16, 2015 at 9:41 pm

      I think you should do NC…

      Does she know about you and him?

    2. Avatar

      Layla

      February 21, 2015 at 2:13 pm

      Yes, she was suspicious so he told her everything well, exept the pregnancy since this is fresh.

    3. admin

      admin

      February 22, 2015 at 4:54 pm

      How did she react to that?

    4. Avatar

      Layla

      February 22, 2015 at 5:13 pm

      She’s in shock and went totally crazy and is trying to manipulate him. He is afraid she would harm herself even. Not sure if NC is the best option here. Really confused.

    5. Avatar

      Layla

      February 11, 2015 at 4:20 pm

      Just to be clear – he says he cannot leave right now with a situation like this because is afraid that the wife might really do something crazy.

  14. Avatar

    Simone

    February 6, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    I’m 7 months pregnant with my ex’s baby. When I first found out I was pregnant I was very nervous and scared because I didn’t know how my ex was gonna react. Immediately after I left the hospital that night I told him and the first thing he said was “well you know we can’t keep this baby right? We’re not ready”. A few weeks after that we broke up due to an intense argument. But I myself do not believe in abortion. So I decided to keep my baby regardless of what any of my family or my ex had to say. Soon after he found out I was keeping it he wasn’t happy but then started to act happy. He would come over alot and we would even act like a couple. Still hooking up and everything. He would even spend the night with me. A couple weeks later i had to leave due to my financial aid getting screwed up and I had to move. He was very upset when I left. He stayed the night with me my last night and even cried uncontrollably when I left the next morning. Not even a week after I left, he moved on and got another girlfriend. I was CRUSHED. I wasn’t even gone long and he had already moved on. Especially knowing I’m pregnant with his baby. Two weeks after being with her, he moved in with her and they’ve been together ever since. It’s so upsetting especially when I see them on social media all happy together. We don’t talk at all. Since I’ve left we’ve only talked once. The sad thing is I still love him. He said he wants to be there for his son and even wants me to name the baby after him. But I don’t know. I’m due April 5th and wonder all the is there ever potential for us getting back together? Or may he even still have feelings for me? Especially since I haven’t seem him since September. What should I do?I’m 7 months pregnant with my ex’s baby. When I first found out I was pregnant I was very nervous and scared because I didn’t know how my ex was gonna react. Immediately after I left the hospital that night I told him and the first thing he said was “well you know we can’t keep this baby right? We’re not ready”. A few weeks after that we broke up due to an intense argument. But I myself do not believe in abortion. So I decided to keep my baby regardless of what any of my family or my ex had to say. Soon after he found out I was keeping it he wasn’t happy but then started to act happy. He would come over alot and we would even act like a couple. Still hooking up and everything. He would even spend the night with me. A couple weeks later i had to leave due to my financial aid getting screwed up and I had to move. He was very upset when I left. He stayed the night with me my last night and even cried uncontrollably when I left the next morning. Not even a week after I left, he moved on and got another girlfriend. I was CRUSHED. I wasn’t even gone long and he had already moved on. Especially knowing I’m pregnant with his baby. Two weeks after being with her, he moved in with her and they’ve been together ever since. It’s so upsetting especially when I see them on social media all happy together. We don’t talk at all. Since I’ve left we’ve only talked once. The sad thing is I still love him. He said he wants to be there for his son and even wants me to name the baby after him. But I don’t know. I’m due April 5th and wonder all the is there ever potential for us getting back together? Or may he even still have feelings for me? Especially since I haven’t seem him since September. What should I do?

    1. admin

      admin

      February 9, 2015 at 3:49 pm

      I am so sorry about this. I can’t image what you are going through.

      How long have they been “moved in together?”

  15. Avatar

    Ann

    February 3, 2015 at 6:02 am

    Ok, this is going to seem ignorant.

    I am a single mother. My son’s father barely makes any contact with my son. His father was on heavy drugs and I couldn’t help him. 7 years later I moved back to my hometown to start fresh, even though I know that you have to change yourself for life to take on a different course.

    I moved here and start seeing a guy that worked in the shop next to me. He’s 4.5 years younger than me–I am 27 and he is 22. It was only meant to be pastime. I didn’t want anything serious, and it all started with a fwb agreement that I pushed for.

    It turns out being around him made me feel young and hopeful again. Like life had possibility again. We spent every moment together. He was amazing with my son and is without a doubt the best role model my son has ever had. Somewhere along the beginning of my relationship within 5 months, we talked about having a baby. He was always against having kids and it surprised me that he was willing to. We were very irresponsible and I guess I figured that getting pregnant was actually difficult. People try for years sometimes to conceive, right? Well it happened. I got pregnant.

    I knew it was going to be hard but we decided to keep it of course. We promised each other we would do our best. I don’t know if it was hormones or pressure or both but I felt him drifting. He wouldn’t try to get a better job, wouldn’t go back to school, didn’t help around the house–nothing. But he was wonderful to my son. His sister, her fiance, and their daughter were having financial trouble and we allowed them to stay with us so long as when they got on their feet they would help. They were a financial burden on us, and we started fighting about money more than before. I would talk to him about it and he just didn’t have a backbone. I didn’t want the bad blood and I expected him to handle it.

    Well, they weren’t doing anything and I lost it one day. They had left the house didn’t let the dog outside to potty and then didn’t put him in his kennel when they left. I got home to kitchen trash being knocked over and poop on the carpet of my son’s room. I cleaned the trash and instructed him to clean the other. Well, apparently they had used all the toilet paper so my son used wet wipes and clogged the toilet. Like bad bad. I had to go buy a toilet auger to remove the wad myself. I was pissed called him at work and chewed him even though it wasn’t his fault directly. I just felt like had he spoken to them it could have been prevented. Anyways I didn’t get an apology for the crime he didn’t commit so I told him not to come home. The next day they all came and got their stuff and his sister took stuff of mine and got in my face. So I called the cops since again, he didn’t go up to bat for me. Turns out she had a warrant out and got arrested. And I am number one most hated.

    He wouldn’t talk to me for 2 days. He’d reply but he was brief. We finally met and talked and I apologized. To him and his family for not handling it like a woman. Even though I was the least guilty party. He said he didn’t love me and we were never supposed to be serious and that he still wanted to be a part of the baby’s life and see my son if I would let him. I was upset and did the text gnat thing. I felt crazy, alone, blindsided, and worse I felt responsible for breaking up my family. He became clearer and clearer about how he wasn’t in it anymore so I decided today I was going to stop feeling bad and get my shit back together. I sent him a really long text that covered everything left I had to say: my first doctor’s appointment (I’m 16 weeks and I haven’t been yet bc of work), how they will be able to sex the baby, how I expected him to help financially when the baby came, visitation, and I told him I understood why he feels the way he does and that no matter how much I wanted us to be together I couldn’t hold out for it. He text back immediately saying he wanted to hear about the appointments and the ultrasound and that he would help financially too. And I said “ok.” I decided to give him space for however long it took–I mean I’m pregnant so it’s not like the silence can go on forever. Then I stumbled on your page after I got tired of watching sad chick flick tragedies.

    So my questions:

    Should I invite him to my first doctor’s visit? It’s the sexing of the baby and I know he’d want to be there. But I almost want to go alone. It’s three weeks away, right after valentines day.

    I became friends with his buddies wife, and they are staying neutral just offering good advice. She’s helping me with picking up my son from school and has invited me over a couple times already just trying to console me. Should I be around his friends? I keep declining because I don’t want it getting back to him that I am hurting still. I know it’s been all of a weekend but he seems happy and I feel like I shouldn’t be upset anymore.

    And my last question, you seem to know a lot about getting someone back in your life. But what advice to you have for keeping someone in it? I know I should have encouraged him instead of mother him. I know I should have been patient but I felt trapped and on a timeline. I stopped gaming with him and all our favorite shows are on breaks. I stopped painting and drawing and doing things I loved and I kept him from doing the things he loved like hanging with friends and stuff. It was selfish, but it’s like I became clingy and I don’t get it myself. Maybe hormones? Do you think he will come back–if so, how long does it take to forgive someone…

    1. admin

      admin

      February 3, 2015 at 1:37 pm

      Yes, he is entitled to go to the doctors visit.

      You can be around his friends but don’t give them much that they can relay to him.

      I have written a few articles about keeping things together,

      http://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-it-takes-to-make-a-long-distance-relationship-work/

      http://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-prevent-a-breakup-with-your-boyfriend-when-you-know-its-coming/

      I know these aren’t perfect for your situation BUT there is info in there you might find helpful.

  16. Avatar

    mermer97

    January 25, 2015 at 10:19 pm

    Im going on 36 weeks and my ex left me at 32 weeks for a mutual coworker he been talking to for a month and says they are in love he told her all my business and now she has been caught flirting and buying other men lunch at the job i thought he was happy and loved me now im heart broken he wants the baby to be a jr but i dont want that anymore and he wants to be there when i have the baby but i think he should prove himself worthy first imconfused on what to do considering im already high risk and have my baby in 3 weeks

    1. admin

      admin

      January 26, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      Like the name of the baby to be his name JR.

  17. Avatar

    Katrina

    January 25, 2015 at 8:21 am

    To cut the long story short, I broke up with my boyfriend last November. We have a long distance relationship and the last time I came to visit him said he can’t do long distance relationship anymore. He asked me if I will be willing to move to his place and I said No. Not at the moment. Maybe later on we can plan for it, but just not now. I told him I have so many things to take care of and not sure if I am willing to give up my career just for a relationship. Not yet even a marriage. He said he is not sure if he can provide enough for me but he willing to try. And assure me that he will make it work for us. Not boasting about myself, but I have a good job. Earning well and traveling the world. You can just imagine, I can get almost anything and everything that I want. I told him I need sometime to decide. But for now, let’s just enjoy what we have. I can come visit him on my days off or when I have a vacation (it’s practical for me to come visit him because I get discounted plane tickets, it’s really cheap! Sometimes I get my tickets free of charge) He didn’t agree to it. And so we broke up. Fast forward, realized I still didn’t get my periods since I came back from that vacation. I did a test. Positive. In the beginning I thought I would keep it to myself. There is no point of telling him because we are not together anyway. I was in contact with one of his friends and she made me realize that no matter what, it’s his right to know. He is the father of my child. And so I did. I did the scan and sent it to him. He spoke to me for the first few days. Asked me how’s the baby and all. Asked me what’s my plan. I told him I will keep the baby. And he doesn’t need to be responsible for it if doesn’t want to. He said if I am going to have an abortion, he would send me the amount of money that I’ll need. He told his Mom about our situation and his mom started messaging me too. She asked me to give him some time. That he is very emotional right now and scared at the same time. I told his Mom the same thing. That I’m just telling him because it’s his right. But he is in no obligation with my child. That I can raise the baby alone with the help of my family. But I hope he respects my decision too that I’m keeping the baby with or without him. I just can’t do the abortion thing. I can’t murder my own child. We stopped talking after that. After 2 weeks, he called me. He said he has made his decision. And his mom and dad supports him into this. He doesn’t want to be a part of his child’s life and he is asking me to cut all the contacts I have with him. He asked me not to speak to his mom or his friends ever again. He said he wants to forget about everything and that he can’t live this way. Knowing he has a child on the other side of the world and not knowing him or her. So it’s better if he doesn’t know anything about our child. I said yes to him. He said he wants to have a child, yes. But to the woman that he really loves. My heart was broken, but I managed to keep myself together. I told his Mom, I can’t talk to her anymore as this is what her son wants. But after 2 weeks his mom started messaging me again. Saying she can’t leave me. No matter what her son wants or says, she will be with me and support me all the way. Later on she said that her son went through her phone and found out that we are still talking. They had an argument but she doesn’t care. She would stay in contact with me if I will still accept her. The next day he messaged me, apologizing for how he reacted into the situation. He said he would like to know the results of my check ups and that he cares a lot about me. Now I’m confused. I don’t even know what I’m asking here. I just want to know if this pain will ever go away? Will I ever get better? Because each time I’d talk to him I’m hurting. Knowing that it’s not gonna work out for both of us and that my child is growing up without a father. Shall I just disconnect myself from all of them and move on with my life? I also feel sorry for his Mom. She loves me so much that she is hurting with the way his son is treating me. Please help. Any advice will be very much appreciated.

    1. admin

      admin

      January 26, 2015 at 3:42 pm

      Well, this is the father of your baby…

      I mean, you can’t just cut him out entirely.

  18. Avatar

    dj

    September 16, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    My boyfriend and i have been together since 2009, thehe last year and a half we have been on and off. I am 30 weeks pregnant for the first two months of pregnancy he was there for the first few months, but he only ever spoke about getting an abortion and i believe he was trying to trick me, and now ever since may he has been lying and ignoring me, partying and meeting girls. he met someone back in december and lied and hid it, told me she was a one time thing, until i found out he was still in contact with her, even went to spend two months with her in edmonton, while i believed he was working up north. it has been hard during the pregnancy. i have gotten into arguments with his family, his mother hates me, she denies the pregancy and wont tell the other girl and he tells people im not preganant and a liar, but doesnt deny it to me. He has made crazy accusations about me, and lies to keep it all hidden, he thinks so negative about me, and i dont know how to change that. The issue isnt if i can forgive him because i can. Now hes been seen partying non stop and meeting random girls and looking very unhealthy, all when he had apparently been dating this other girl. cheated on me with her, and on her with me and others. I am confused to why he would do that and yet still ignore me. If he isn’t faithful her to either, why not work things out with me for the child? He hasent spoken to me since the begining of August, and it been hard, and i recently started the no contact preganant rule, he doesnt say one word to me. What are reason he could be acting like this, and being this way? Do you think he’ll come around? Or if there is anything else beside the no contact i can do. We are both in our early twenties, so we do have a lot of time. It is driving me crazy, it confusing and painful. I don’t even know or think this other girl knows the truth, yet I have messaged her in the past and she doesn’t say a thing. It is clear he is using her as a rebound, and not actually “happy”. I don’t understand why he wont even try or give me the time of day since coming back home? Hes gone as far as to try to get a restraining order on me for dropping of a sonogram when he was home. As a guy, what could he possibly thinking, and why take it so far to do it this way, without trying or talking?

    1. admin

      admin

      September 17, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      Yay my first comment on this page.

      I was starting to get worried no one would comment.

      I think he sounds like a scumbag for how he is treating you. How old is he exactly?

    2. Avatar

      dj

      September 20, 2014 at 2:23 pm

      He is 23, I am 21… He is in med school too so you’d think he’d be more mature and wise. He has all his family against me too, making me look like I’m some psycho liar. I don’t understand why, or what I even did. I know he has been treating me bad recently, but despite it being a guy, by how hes been is there even that possibility after or just hopeless.

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