How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

Darryl Boissonneault

May 4, 2015 at 5:07 pm

Ready for the story? Here it goes. me and my ex dated for 6 years and we have a 5 year old girl together. We broke up once already for 5 months. But we worked things out. I cheated on him about 2 times during our relationship and he knows that. We are now broken up again and its been 7 months. We both seen other people but we are both single right now. And im starting to miss the guy so much. and i cant get over him its so hard because we work in the same building. I really want to work things out with him but i feel like he is really done with me. I screwed up. I screwed up big time. Now I dont know what to do? How can I do this? How can I start talking to him? I tried to go and see him last night but it was like he wanted nothing to do with me. This sucks. Does he still love me? is there still a chance you think? Tell me what can I do. I feel awful. Thanks

M

May 4, 2015 at 4:45 am

So my boyfriend and I have been dating since 2012 March and we had a great relationship, then at the 11 months in mark almost every week he would tell me why I don’t own a car ( I don’t have a car yet) and compare me to other girls. I was so frustrated by that and just up to my neck really but I decided to let go of it and keep going… so then back in..2013 or 14 I kinda “cheated” on him, all I did was tell this guy how nice he was and good looking and the kinda flirted around, after he caught me I told him that this is not gonna happen again. But then again the same things, he would get mad over stupid arguments, again compare me and tell me about the car, and almost every other week or so cuss me out. With all that he’s done I still love him so much. So until recently he started to doubt me and then tell me why I’m hanging out with my guy friends and he would go through my personal stuff on email and fb and pull up my accounts and emails… Then in turn anything he finds he would rub it in my face ( use against me) and once he came back to take his birthday gifts he bought me and a piano he gave me ( I gave him those and then he gave back the perfume) kept the piano. But still he’s suspicious and all… I love him to death but now recently I just sat down with my friend to have lunch and it was a guy ( the guy has a fiancé) and he got mad at me and said that this was the last thing to break our relationship… He said that he doesn’t like me anymore and wants to move on and just be friends but I seriously can’t do that at all…I promised myself not to ever cheat on him after being with other guys and I’m gonna stick to it. Idk if he’s lying that he doesn’t like me or what not but I need some help.

Candis

May 1, 2015 at 9:14 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of 5 years a couple of months ago. The topic came up because the other boy I cheated on him with told his girlfriend. It was made into a big thing. My ex found out and I lied it was not true. He recently asked if it was true again and I finally came clean and told him the whole truth. Although in the past he has cheated on me and I have forgiven him. I don’t know what to do. And i don’t want this to end. I really do care for him. What should I do to win him over again?

charlotte

April 29, 2015 at 5:55 am

hi chriss,
i and my boyfriend were together till 6 months back, after which we broke up cause i felt the relationship was going nowhere .. i couldnt really move on and so i dated another guy cause i desperately wanted to forget him.. and after 3 months of being with a guy i didnt love , he broke up with me.. that break up made me happy and after 1 and half month i met my boyfriend again.. and we decide to again give it a try.. in the whole process of getting him back i lied to him that i didnt date anyone after we broke up the last time… he found out that i lied,, he is sooooo hurt.. i cant bear his pain.. i really love him with all my heart.. i want him.. and i cant see him be with any other girl.. we are both very possessive about each other.. im so depressed.. i need him… help me

Marisa

April 27, 2015 at 12:15 am

Hi!
I have been with this guy for about almost a year and 4 months and I would have no problem spending the rest of my life with him. I just feel like everything is so right when we’re together. Just recently I have cheated on him with one of my good friends who I have had feelings for in the past, but know I couldn’t be with him because there are things that annoy me with my friend. We were drinking and ended up making the wrong decision having sex with him. My boyfriend always says stuff about if I cheat on him then we’re done and I have a feeling his whole family will know. I have to babysit his cousins in the summer and I don’t know if I should tell him or not. I am planning to stop talking to my friend completely because I want to be with my current boyfriend. I don’t want to be like that anymore even though we were just really good friends who I developed feelings for. I found that my reasoning was because I felt unwanted, like there was no purpose of our relationship, and because he kept saying something about cheating was annoying, making me feel like he had cheated on me before with his ex. I am currently in college and I wouldn’t want to spend a relationship with anyone else but him. What do I do? Help please!!

Cassie

April 27, 2015 at 12:08 am

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple months now and I honestly love him. He has been so good to me, even though we have a long distance relationship. My ex and I had begin chatting and my boyfriend hadn’t talked to me for a while (3-4 days) and There was a day when I really needed my boyfriend to comfort and talk to me and he wasn’t there but my ex was. We fooled around with hugging kissing and neck biting. I felt so ashamed so I told my boyfriend. Two days later he responded and was extremely pissed. I apologized over and over. He was mad because I lost faith after five days. I hadn’t lost faith, I needed my boyfriend and he wasn’t there. I begged him to forgive me and he had said, “Keep begging, maybe it will work.” This pissed me off terribly but I don’t want to lose him. I honestly love him deeply and losing him would ruin me.

Sharon

April 24, 2015 at 5:38 pm

hey i have Been with my boyfwend for 4months now. ..everything was smooth till about a month ago Wen i started communicating with my ex of 4years we bcm close again tht i even invited him to visit. …we then got so cosy and made out he spent a night. ..so now i had to tell my current as it was bothering me. ..i have just told him because i dont want to lose him and i still care about my ex tho in love with current

T

April 21, 2015 at 10:14 am

I’m in a completely mess! I hate myself for this and not sure what to do – I’ve been dating this lad(A) I work with for coming up a year now. When we first started dating we agreed no to tell anyone from work as it would make things harder with all the gossiping and bitching that goes on. Everything was going great, really liked him had loads of fun together. Until a month in some of my work friends tried pushing me into seeing one of her bf friends(B). I told them I wasn’t interested so they tried other ways to get me talking to him. We eventually got talking on social media and became just friends, talking for hours about nothing, I told B I was dating A and that we could never happen. Still no one from work know anything about me dating that A and was pushing for me to go out with B. My work friend kept getting B was constantly turning up to work and inviting him to everything we did together outside of work. I told them several times that I felt uncomfortable with it all and that couldn’t talk to him any more, even telling them that I was seeing A, but still they encourage B because it was making him happy just talking to me. Every time I tried walking away from B they started making things harder for me at work. Every time we was out B tried turning talking to me into game, trying to upset A. I dint know what to do, this had been going on for close to a month now. A few weeks later I eventually bumped into B in town he had received some bad news and I felt sorry for him. He said that he dint want to be alone and could we hang out. I nervously agreed and somehow I ended up having sex with him. I told B it was a mistake and that it should never of happen. All this time I was still dating A, he knew I was talking to him as a friend but missed what they was trying to do. Things got even worse for me at work, to the point where I wanted to quit. I stopped talking to B for a week which seems to make things worse, to the point where B said that he was thinking of hurting himself because I wasn’t there. I told work friend about it and that I was worried about B, they tried pushing me back towards him and I refused to altogether, saying I couldn’t have anything to do with B any more. I told A that things with B had gone weird, that he was on about hurting himself and that I had walking away from it. Everything at work seemed to settle down and things with me and A became closer and spend more time together.

This was over 7 months ago, I’ve never told A everything that happened, I’m scared that if I do he will walk away from me and I really don’t want to lose him. Nobody knows that we are dating and other than work friend nobody knows about B either. But I now spend hours panicking that work friend is going to tell A to get back at me for walking away from B. I feel so ashamed with what I did and confused as to why my work friend would push me onto someone like that. I’m now unsure as to whether I should tell A the whole story and let him decide what he wants to do or stay with A hoping he never finds out, or to walk away. I never meant for any of this mess to happen. Any advise on what I should do?

Nicole

April 20, 2015 at 7:02 pm

Hi, I need your help now! I cheated on my boyfriend of 6 years. We have a home together and a 4 year old son together..I cheated because we never got any time together (he was always playing video games) and never did anything..I’m to the point to where I don’t know what to do now..Its been about 4 months since he found out. I stopped talking to the guy after he found out and even changed my phone number.. I really love my boyfriend things kinda started to get a little better but now he’s to the point to where he won’t hardly talk to me, we don’t do anything together we don’t kiss or nothing. I know he still cares and loves me because he still tells me but what do i do? I need help!

Chanie

April 17, 2015 at 3:29 pm

I had cheated on my boyfriend who I have been with for 6 years and we have a 2 yr old daughter. we had not talked for like a month, but I still wanted him. So finally he contacts me through fb Saying that he wants to work things out but he tells me that he had already slept with someone else. I felt hurt but I couldn’t say anything because I have done him wrong. He tells me he wants to be together but the other girl is still in the picture. He tells me he doesn’t know what to do if he wants to be with me or her. So I gave him his time and he chose her, but he calls me the next day and tells me he wants me not her. So him and I get back together, but while we are together he is saying he feels really bad for leaving her and saying that he really liked her . I tell him if he felt that way he should have just stayed with her but he says he doesn’t want to be with her. But I kind of understand what he is talking about because it hurt me to cut it off with the guy I cheated on with because I really liked him, but I didn’t want to be with him. Now I just have this constant fear he is going to leave me for her or if they keep communicating. He says he has blocked her from his phone and fb .I’m trying really hard to make things right between us. This isn’t the first time this had happened between us because he had cheated on me 3 yrs ago

Loly

April 17, 2015 at 3:10 pm

Hi, I wish I read this earlier. we were in relationship for 5 years and I cheated on him. 15 days after the breakup I started texting calling… I found out that he started a new relationship 10-20 days after we broukup. Anyway 2 month after we did see each other and I APOLOGISED, I know… 🙁 but I really felt like I had to do that. He told me then that he doesn’t feel anything about her, that he loves me, but…. I didn’t contact him after thet. It’s been a month now. He is still with that girl. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I want him back. please helppp

chloe

April 10, 2015 at 10:02 pm

I need help im head over heels for my ex boyfriend bt the thing is i cheated on him but i didnt mean to 2 years ago me and my ex reached 9 months in the relationship it became summer breack and we never saw each other half way through the summer break my friend introduced me to her cousins and the eldest one and i became close really fast one day my other friend and i were playing truth or dare and i choose dare she dared me to kiss the eldest boy on the cheeck so i did and his brother saw me and the next day we all went out side and we were pretending to be drunk and his cousin told him to kiss me on the cheeck and then were doing that but then he went to kiss me on the cheeck and i went to kiss him and we ended up acctualy kissing and it carryed on and then the day we went back to school i fell and my face swelled up and i was scared because all my friends told me to dump my ex so i dumpped him to stop him hurrting and after that happened his friend told him what happened and then we were okay for at least 3 mojths but my ex dosent know when i dumpped him i stopped seeing the other guy cause i didnt want to choose and since 2 years later ive never stopped thinking of my ex but i have a problem we havent spoken for them 2 years and i honestly so badly want him back what should i do? This all happened through pressure by my friends i need help please HELP ME :'(

AMY

April 10, 2015 at 7:10 pm

Hi Chris,

I cheated on my boyfriend. We were living together for 2 years and he broke up with me and left the house. He came to visit for 3 days in a row after that.. In those days he kept telling me how much he loved me and that I was the best he ever had… he said I was the love of his life. 4 days later, he takes a plane, fly to Texas, and he is now back again with his ex (the ex he left 2 years ago to be with me). He always goes back to his ex every time any of his relationships does not work out. He has been doing this for almost 10 years now, breaking up with her and getting back together… now, he went to Texas and didn’t tell me anything about it. He kept calling me, and making me believe he was still in town. Thing is, I found out what he did and confronted him. He told me he was sorry for not letting me know. but he also said I was not in the position to argue about anything because our relationship was over. I said I understood that, but 4 days was too fast to move on like he did!! He kept saying he could not stay in Town, he would keep looking for me and trying to have contact and he does not want that. I now have decided to end the communication with him for a period of time (30 day no contact rule). It is hurting me so bad. I am going through a mild depression, but will not beg and contact him even when I love him so much and want to… I believe he got back with his ex as a Rebound. I know how much he loves and cares for me. But I am afraid he will forget about me and never give me one single opportunity. Will he ever come back?? I really, really, really want to be with him.

Faith

April 10, 2015 at 3:56 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend & when he found out he beat me so much, he said it was over between us, i cried and begged everyday. He later said we should just be friends, i told him i could not bear it, he even kissed his friend he has cheated with in my presence and promised he would be with her, right now she does all the house chores i used to do for him, because i love him so much i accepted to be friends with the both of them. I really want him back but he says he loves the both of us and does not want to hurt anybody. What shud i do?

Vicky

April 10, 2015 at 6:59 am

Hey Chris, Thank you for hearing me out! So ive been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we lived together and had goals and had planned to move from one state to another and about 2 month before moving his dad had planned to go on vacation for his birthday with all his guy friends and my boyfriend. To be honest I was very selfish about it and didn’t want him leaving me to go with them. It was only for 5 days but I insisted and told him not to go. He gave me reassurance and told me he wouldn’t cheat and made me a promise that he was going to be faithful and it was just a little get away for his dads 45th birthday. He kept saying how we were moving to another state and how happy we were going to be. And I honestly was happy but I still didn’t want him going. Well 2 weeks after knowing about this trip, he ended up leaving and leaving me the car (his car). A few days before him leaving I had met a guy through my sister and I ended up having an affair with this guy after my boyfriend left on vacation and after he came back. This affair lasted about 2 months after he left on vacation. To make the long story short, people saw me and this kid and spread the word around and my boyfriend ended up finding out about it. He confronted me and I confessed I had cheated. We got into an physical altercation about it and I ended up leaving his sight for about 7 weeks. Big mistake was that we kept in contact throughout this whole time. We ended up seeing each other after 2 months of not seeing each other and got physical and hung out for 2 weeks straight. But everyday he would bring this up and it always got nasty. And arguments left and right about how I betrayed him and our goals. How we couldnt move in together anymore because I was selfish and cheated. He insulted me and told me how much he hated me the last time we spoke. Then he threatened me and told me he was disappearing because he will never forgive me and take me back. I dont get it because we saw each other after all that and even had physical contact. We would hang out and be good, just like we did when we were together. But I noticed we would start off good and 2-3 hours of us being together he would switch his mood and get angry and bring up the fact I cheated. The last time we spoke he said he was drunk and texted me a whole bunch of old pictures of us together and told me it would be a very special day for me to remember. He said that I would remember that day for the rest of my life. He insulted me and said he despised my guts and how much he hated me for cheating. He said he wouldn’t give me a chance to cheat again. And how he loved me so much and wanted to die with me by his side. How I was his everything and wanted to have kids with me and marry me. I believe him because we always spoke about this. When we hung out for those 2 weeks straight he would tell me he didn’t wanna move on because I was all he needed. But when he drunk texted me he told me to move on and how he was moving on too. Im so confused. I feel like he has something up his sleeve. I don’t know what he meant by that being a special day but I felt like he was saying that was the last time I would hear from him. I sent him an apology through email that same night but he never replied. Two days went by that we hadn’t heard from each other and then he sent me an old picture of him blowing me a kiss and that was it nothing else. I dont know what that meant? I didn’t respond because I’m so ashamed and hurt because of all the insults and things he said about me. This was two days ago, and we haven’t spoken again. What do you recommend? I’m so remorseful and want him back. How can I get him to believe me and trust me again? How can I show him how sorry I am? He was never bad to me and he never cheated. I feel horrible for betraying him and doing this to him when he didnt deserve this. HELPPP!

M

April 10, 2015 at 3:08 am

Okay I found newer comments so I’m sharing my story after all: Here is the situation:

My (now) ex (we’ll call him A) and I have known each other for about 12 years, and had been dating seriously for the past 5 1/2 years. We purchased a home together and were engaged 2 years ago. We also have been raising my 6yr old son (from a man who is not in our lives) together. A is the only father my son knows, and they have an incredible relationship.
The past year A and I had been having problems. A lot of up and downs, a lot of fights. Not seeing eye to eye on things and feeling unsupported by each other. For him, he feels appreciated/loved by the typical housewife, taking care of the home actions. For me, I see love in the form of more of an emotional kind. The past year i enrolled in an accelerated nursing program and before that was working around 50 hours a week and taking courses. Because of this a lot of my supportive qualities slipped, like housework lacked. He got frustrated, I felt misunderstood and unappreciated. We went to counseling and things got better, but we got busy and stopped going.. then things got worse. He felt unsupported, I felt unsupportive and lacked emotional connection. So i’ll get to the point where I messed up… I ran into an old friend (we’ll call him B) at a bar. B and I had gone to college together and had always been attracted to each other, but we never acted on it… anyway, we exchanged numbers and planned to hang out since it had been so long, he lives a few hours ago and happened to be in the area for a short time. I disclosed to A that this happened, and that I would hang out with B, and He wasn’t thrilled about it.. but allowed me to go. In my mind that initial meeting would be harmless. I figured B and I would’ hang out and flirt, then go our separate ways. I knew this guy had always been attracted to me and I thought it would be nice to just have some attention. Well it turned out not to be harmless, myself and B continued to send flirty texts after that and in a week, when A went out of state. I cheated.
At the time I cheated, I had such mixed feelings. One one hand – oh my god, how could i do that to the man I love? I might destroy my family-So I felt ashamed and guilt and realized that I just put my son’s life as he knew it, in jeopardy. I felt like complete scum. on the other hand- I felt resentful of A. kind of like, why couldn’t you give me what I wanted when I made it so clear. Why didn’t you stop it? All very illogical.
Anyway in my angry state I ended up texting my two best friends about what happened- and practically bragging. None of what i said was very honest. I supposed I was looking for validation to be excited about B.
The day after the cheating occurred, A came home and again I had mixed feelings: part of me wanted to come clean, the other part wanted to hang on to my new fantasy world with B. Well the fantasy ended the following day.. A- knowing me all to well, knowing I was acting different, and had seen B, ended up looking through my phone in the middle of the night. I woke up to him pulling of my engagement ring, and him saying that it was over. For some reason, even when he gave me the opportunity, I denied it. I lied and said it was nothing, it didn’t happen. I was completely in shock myself, but it was obvious that A knew – he read it all- I but off ties with B completely, pleaded, and apologized endlessly to A…. That was about a month ago. Since then we are still living together but A is looking for options to move out, or just stays out when he can, at a friend or family members. I think him moving out is just a matter of time. It has been hell though. Our emotions get so high. We’ve continued to be intimate with one another. He “likes” me one day and “hates” me the next. but he’s set on moving out and needing space, and wanting a buyout for the house. I want to work things out with him. I want to keep my family together so much. I understand his position, I really do. I understand that both of us could benefit from time apart, to work on our individual goals and reassess our relationship… I just don’t want him to go. We are trying to take space from each other while living together though, and it’s hard. A’s biggest concern at this point is the feelings of betrayal. He admitted to me hat the cheating he could understand and move past. But the lying, not coming clean, and broken trust is something he doesn’t think he can. He said that if I had just been honest, things would be very different.
I guess my question is, do you think there is a way we can rebuild our relationship with A still living with us? Is there anything I can do to convince him to stay or give me another chance? how can i ever get him to trust me again? I feel like although we see each other a lot, we have had space. At least i’ve had a lot of time to reflect on things and not just out of desperation, or because I was in the wrong, but for many reasons I truly believe I would never betray him in this way again. I know whey say once a cheater.. this is the first time i’ve ever cheated. and the first time I lied to A. I feel like I’ve been hit with a huge wake up call…
What steeps can we take to to make sure this never happens again? I want to assure him that it won’t..

Thanks in advance. I hope this isn’t too incredibly long or difficult to follow!

J

April 10, 2015 at 2:31 am

are you still providing feedback? I would love some help but the comments are fairly old, so this is me just checking in.. thanks!

laeticia

April 10, 2015 at 1:43 am

Hello Chris, I will start by saying that my ex boyfriend is a very traditional guy. We were arguing one time and I called him out of his name (a..hole) he was furious and said that I was the first person in his life to dare insulting him and broke up with me… then he was suspicious about me cheating and I think he found out that I was after the break up but never mentioned it to me… it’s been 4 months now and I did everything wrong and more to get him back. From begging him, and apologizing to his sister and friends knowing that his friends have a say in his decision… I reached out to people to go talk to him…I made it so worse on myself… I recently found his clothes in my closet and reached out to him and he surprisingly answered my text and came to pick them up and we had a conversation and he was curious to know if I was seeing someone else and even suggested to go drop me off where I was going… next thing I know he started calling me baby again and started kissing me … telling me that everytime he sees me he is turned on and he was saying that he would want us to work on fixing things but he is with someone else … I asked him when I could see him and he said he would let me know that I needed to develop patience because things don’t have to go my way all the time… But of course he never reached out… I’m confused on how to handle this

Jenny

April 6, 2015 at 5:32 pm

Hi Chris,
I need an urgent advice because I am so confused I have no idea what to do. I cheated on my ex boyfriend a year ago, and I wanted him back so badly. Couple of months ago, I visited him at the country he had been relocated to hopefully to resolve matters and get him back but things did not turn out well and I left his place feeling all depressed. I had made better progress of moving on until I met him 2.5 months ago (which was last week). I was at the country he is at for business and we met. Somehow it felt that we had reconnected back well – he started to be really sweet to me and it felt as if we were back together. We used to text each other like once in many days in the past, or rather he and I would take days to reply a text message, but things changed. When I thought all was going well between us, he disappeared! He never replied any of text messages. He is someone who is a direct person, I asked him what status we are but he had no response and finally a last message to him was “if he does want me to leave him alone, just have to tell me and not disappear” but obviously he did not reply. Can you please tell me what is wrong with this man? I thought things worked out well between us and how could he suddenly turned his back against me and changed 360??? I am feeling all confused and crap now. Sigh…. And he was also telling me that is coming back this week and did ask me to meet as well but now he disappeared? Chris, I need help on this badly.

Victoria

April 4, 2015 at 6:37 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of 5 years with a guy I had met for 5 months, for whom I developed feelings that were stronger than friendship. The cheating happened because we decided to meet to see how we felt about each other in person (we live in different countries), and we felt very strongly (we said we were felt as falling in love, and spent a weekend together). At that time, I had been feeling quite neglected in my relationship (my ex-boyfriend knew this, we had talked about it, but we didn’t really fix the problem). The guy and I were both in long-term relationships when the cheating happened (he’s still engaged), and decided to not make a more serious move until we were sure, since we both still deeply loved our significant others. However, my boyfriend found out by reading my e-mails, and he broke up. He gave me the chance to try to get back by breaking all contact with this other guy (which I did), and puting effort into building trust back (which I commited to); then after a couple of days he changed his mind and said he couldn’t get back with me. After more than a month of thinking, I’ve come to realize I really do want to be with him, and I would try everything to rebuild trust and try to win him back (given he still loves me). BUT, there is a major issue: we don’t live in the same country either (he left the country where we moved in together after what happened, and doesn’t plan to move back – I still have 2 more years to work in a project here). Is there any chance, given we simply cannot see each other casually by just meeting up after the no-contact period? I did tell him before he left that I’ve had time to think and I’m really sure of how important he is for me, and that all I ask of him is for him to take his time and think whether this could work for him, and talk again in summer. He said it was fair enough. Any tips or advise will be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

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